Still So Close to You
by Darkwing731
Summary: It couldn't get much worse than this: the dangerous advances of Lucius Malfoy, Remus' unpredictable behavior, and the arcane information that was somehow leaking out to the Dark Side. With no allies, Hermione Granger was helpless. RL&HG. NOW COMPLETE!
1. The Book of Mischief

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter. I don't own any original characters. But I'll say so if I ever do.

**Summery: **They said the book was legendary, left by the four most memorable pranksters of the past. But when the book is found, it transports the reader back in time. When Hermione Granger wakes up to find herself in the past with the Marauders, she receives the worst shock of her life...

This story, although it is non-HBP compatible, will have **minor spoilers. **

Enjoy!

**Still So Close to You  
By Darkwing731**

((--Chapter One--))  
The Book of Mischief

-

"Hermione, will you shut up already?" Ron snapped impatiently as she stomped after Harry and Ron as they made their way to the library.

"But Ron, the bloody book isn't _real_!" Hermione said exasperatedly. Ron rolled his eyes and muttered darkly under his breath.

"All right, _all right_, we get it Hermione. Just... just let us look for it anyways. You can, I dunno, check out a book for the essay due on Thursday," Harry said soothingly as Hermione gave him an angry look. "Don't complain! Come on, it's supposed to be made by the Marauders. And in case you're forgetting who they are—"

"I know perfectly well who they _are_! I just don't see why you believe in this silly nonsense! Honestly, if you're so eager about it, go ask Professor Lupin. Dumbledore said he was _staying_ for good this year!" Hermione said shrilly.

"_Ask Lupin?_ Are you _mad_!" Ron cried as they rounded a corner. Hermione glowered at him. "We can't ask _him_ about it! He'll just deny it and tell us not to look for it! And then he'll go get it and— and— destroy it or _something_!"

"No he won't!" Hermione argued. Harry rolled his eyes as they bickered back and forth for several minutes whilst they walked to the library.

It was in the beginning of December in their seventh year, and the trio had overheard a conversation about a certain book left by the four pranksters a week before. Harry and Ron immediately set out to find it, both curious and excited to see what it held. Since James Potter had been a Marauder, Harry wasn't exactly going to give up his search so easily. Ron was right by his side. Hermione, however, insisted it wasn't real, that it was just a legend. She could understand why they were looking for it. And if it _was _real, which she highly doubted, what would it contain anyways?

"Hermione! It's _legendary!_ We _have_ to look for it!" Ron said.

"Hence the word _legend,_ Ron!" Hermione bickered.

"God, you two fight like an old married couple," Harry muttered, loudly enough for them to hear. Hermione stumbled, shutting her mouth, blushing furiously and purposely not looking at Ron, whom she knew was doing the same thing as her.

It was common knowledge for the whole Gryffindor House, and most of the school, that Hermione and Ron liked each other after Ron had let it slip to the twins that he had non-platonic feelings for Hermione. Of course, Fred and George had tried numerous times to set them up, or to get Hermione to admit her feelings back. Which of course, she had fancied Ron since second year, but she wasn't about to admit that. She was waiting for him to stop being so immature and make his move.

"Okay, we're here. Hermione, go find that big book and we can finish our essays later. We'll be scouting the library for the Book of Mischief," Harry said.

As the boys watched her retreating back angrily pick an isle and walk down it, they turned and went to the other side of the library.

"So how do we know where to look?" Ron asked Harry. Harry shrugged.

"Maybe we should go ask Hermione. She seemed rather mad at us. I bet she'd like to help," Harry said with a guilty half-smile.

"No, she'll just snap at us, mostly me again. We can do this without her," Ron assured. Harry sighed, but nodded.

They walked around a bit until they found a table, and depositing their school bags they started searching. Since Hermione had taken the far left side of the library, Ron and Harry spilt the middle and right side, each searching nearly ten shelves apiece. The Restricted Section didn't count, but Harry privately thought that if they didn't find anything he would come back in his invisibility cloak.

As Harry looked over numerous books, each one as unlikely as the next, his mind started to wander. What if Hermione was right? What if the Book of Mischief wasn't real?

_No! It is! _Harry told himself.

But as he looked over books (he crossed the dragon's section quickly), the thought of Hermione being right made him more determined to find the damned book.

Harry wasn't exactly sure what he was looking for. Was he expecting the title to pop out at him? Or should he look in a certain book or section of the library? He kept walking slowly, thinking. If his father and his three best friends had made the legendary book, where would he put it? Harry didn't think his dad would put it out in the open. No, he would've definitely hidden it somewhere only a true prankster would look.

Harry subconsciously thought of sending an owl to Fred and George. Once they had overheard the rumor from the staffroom, Harry and Ron had told Fred and George about it. They, of course, had heard all about it and had been searching the school for it since their third year.

As he walked to the next isle, his mind wandered even more. What was he looking for? He had to find the book, but he had no clue as it where it was. Maybe it was hidden in the common room. Or maybe in a book. Or maybe somewhere only the Marauders had access to...

"The Shrieking Shack!" Harry whispered suddenly. Quickly, he turned around, running across the library in search of Ron.

_-x-x-x-_

As Harry agreed on taking the middle of the library, Ron went and started to look from the beginning. He decided to look in some books in their indexes if the title seemed to relate to the book.

He started in the A's. The first shelf took a long time to go through, since every title had some relevance to the Book of Mischief. Or maybe it was Ron's imagination that _Author's of the Wizarding World_ had something to do with the Marauders. He furrowed his eyebrows and kept looking, wondering if he would find anything.

Ron Weasley's attention span wasn't very long, and it shortened considerably when he was doing boring tasks. Looking over titles, broken bindings, crushed pages and covers, his mind was somewhere else completely.

He couldn't help but think about Hermione.

They had been friends since first year, and thank god they were, because Ron agreed with Harry that without her, they would've failed their OWL's. And by the time third year had come upon them, even Ron could admit he and Hermione had gotten exceptionally close, even though they were fighting. He felt bad, afterwards, making her cry so many times about Crookshanks and Scabbers, but she had already forgiven him.

And then fourth year... Lord, he had been an idiot. He still couldn't believe that Krum had asked Hermione to the Ball. Ron still didn't know what had made him so mad, but Ron just remembered being furious at both Hermione and Krum.

Fifth year was interesting. Ron had thought a lot about Hermione over the summer, and he supposed he was being kind of a git about the House Elf thing, so that year he tried not to do it so much. But even so, he couldn't help but make her mad a few times. It was almost amusing to see her angry, but not so much when she snapped at him. And what really made him mad that year was when the subject turned to Krum. A pen pal, Hermione had said. Ron didn't believe him for a moment. If Krum wanted to be her pen pal, then Ron was as rich as the Malfoys. But Viktor Krum didn't come up a lot. And Ron was glad about it.

Then that year was his first year on the Quidditch team. He would never forget his first game, not because it was his first, but because Hermione had kissed him. Of course, it was only on the cheek but she seemed slightly flustered about it. She had kissed Harry on the cheek before, but Ron knew perfectly well that it was for luck, and it was nothing more than a friendly kiss. Still, it mad Ron a bit mad when Hermione kissed Harry and not him.

Sixth year had gone by in a flash; he had grown considerably closer to Hermione, and despite the relationship with Lavender that nearly tore Hermione in two (even _he_ could see it, and he was dense often), they were as close as ever. He just wished that after he had ditched Lavender, he would've done something to instigate a relationship with Hermione.

Women confused him. _A lot._ He tried to stop thinking about Hermione, but couldn't. Her face loomed in his mind. Her name made his heart skip. Her smile lit up the room. He didn't know why he was attracted to her so, but he just was. And she knew all because of his stupidity when he told Fred and George. But Hermione didn't seem to mind. More than enough times he had heard squeals and giggles from the Girls Dormitory that sounded strangely like Hermione and Ginny. So he knew that the girls were gossiping. About him, he wasn't exactly sure.

Maybe they were, maybe they weren't.

"Ron!"

Ron snapped out of his thoughts and looked wildly around. He heard Harry's footsteps grow louder until he jumped around a corner. Ron had been standing in one spot for all of five minutes, his hand suspended in midair. Harry looked strangely at him, and Ron lowered his hand, his ears turning red.

"What? Did you find anything?" Ron asked. Harry shook his head, but smiled widely.

"No, but I just thought of a brilliant idea. What if my dad and the others put the book where no one except for them could get it?" Harry said excitedly. Ron narrowed his eyes, thinking. Then, as it clicked, he looked suspiciously at Harry, both excited and curious.

"Harry... you don't suppose..."

"Yes Ron! They must've put it in the Shrieking Shack!" Harry cried.

Ron grinned, and they took off down the isle to grab their book bags. They sped around a corner, and hitching their bags over their shoulders, started sprinting out of the library. They slowed down enormously when Madam Pince looked up dangerously from her desk at the running children, and they smiled innocently and walked out of the library. Just as the closed the doors, they heard a high, frightened scream. They both froze, looking at each other.

"Hermione!" they said together.

They burst back into the library, Madam Pince looking around with a bemused expression, and they passed her quickly and ran down an isle. They reached the middle, and stopped. Looking at each other, they silently agreed to split up and look for her. Ron went left, Harry went right, and they started quickly down the isles.

When Ron came to the last one before the Restricted Section, he stopped, a funny feeling creeping over him. Something was wrong, he could feel it. He stopped and slowly went around the corner, looking fearfully down the isle.

What if something bad had happened to Hermione?

He walked down, spotting something lying in a heap on the floor. He ran towards it, dust flying up from the floor. He stood over it, looking down. It was her book bag, crumpled and abandoned. He turned and looked over his shoulder, and then back down the isle.

Where was she?

"Harry!" Ron called, his voice trembling. Ron heard his hurrying footsteps, and Harry rounded the corner.

"Is she—?" Harry started to say, but stopped. Ron had a weird look on his face. Harry stared down at the book bag lying on the floor.

It was Hermione's.

He bent over gradually and picked it up. He could feel the numerous books weighing the material down, the gravity pulling it towards the floor. Harry looked from the book bag up to Ron, who was staring at Hermione's possession as if it were her dead body.

"Something happened to her, Harry," Ron croaked. Harry felt scared now.

"What— who did— we should go get the map," Harry sputtered suddenly, handing her bag to Ron. Harry couldn't think of anything else to do. Ron nodded, and together they turned and ran from the library, Ron holding Hermione's book bag with his life.

_-x-x-x-_

Hermione let out an angry sigh, but nevertheless split from them and walked up an old isle when they reached the library. Madam Pince was at her desk, busying herself with the list of the entire library. She was mumbling angry, dark words under her breath, and Hermione giggled silently.

There was a small section of the library that had immensely old books in it, each over a thousand pages, and no one particularly liked to read them. Of course, couples used the advantage of the small section to snog like crazy because no one would interrupt them.

As Hermione peered down the old, dusty isle with thick volumes, she saw, to her satisfaction, that the isle was unoccupied. She quickly went down it, running her fingers along the bindings, making dust stick to her hands and drop like feathers down to the floor. The essay due on Thursday (it was currently Tuesday), was on an ancient Potion that Snape had set for them. It also had ties to the Dark Arts because of its effects, and Professor Lupin had told the class to do some side research, though it wasn't homework.

His eyes twinkled in Hermione's direction as she smiled, thinking she would go all out and complete it as an essay and do some research. Once again, Defense Against the Dark Arts was her favorite subject. Maybe it was Lupin's presence that had made it so fun, or maybe it was the most appealing to her. The last time she had loved it so was in her third year, when Professor Lupin had come for the first time. She didn't know what was so special about him, but he just seemed to make learning fun to the biggest extent. And she liked him a lot for that.

Hermione quickly came upon a thick volume called _Ancient Spells and Potions_ that seemed as if it had not been touched for nearly twenty years. She pulled it out, opening the book slowly so she wouldn't damage the binding, and a musty smell rose from the book and she wrinkled her nose. The pages were thick and yellow, stained here and there with what seemed to be water or a drink of some sort. She flipped over the pages, and finding nothing satisfactory in the book, she snapped it shut and went to go put it on the shelf.

But something caught her eye, and confused and suspicious, she pulled the book in her hands back, gently bending to set it on the floor. Curious, she stood on her tiptoes and looked far into the large shelf. It seemed as if the wood of the shelf had been smashed open, and something had been stuffed in there, presumably a book.

Her heart was pounding against her ribcage now, and she thought hard. Was this the book Harry and Ron had been talking about? Was it the Book of Mischief? If it was, she didn't know what she would do. She certainly couldn't call Ron. He would never let her live it down. And Harry could never keep something so interesting and exciting a secret for long from Ron, and he would find out, and get mad at her.

One thing was for certain, if it was the book than she was in trouble. But so far, she didn't know what it was. Trembling all over, she reached back into the shelf and gently tugged at the corner of the book forced under the wood.

After a minute or so of careful pulling, she snatched it out. It was small, maybe the size of her two hands, thick and looking just as old as the rest of the books. It was a deep scarlet with gold bindings and gold trimmed pages, the stitching coming out and the binding slightly broken. Shaking with excitement and fear, she carefully opened the cover.

Inside the face of the book were four names. Her heart skipped a beat as she read them.

_James Potter  
Sirius Black  
Remus Lupin  
Peter Pettigrew_

She was amazed, scared, and unsure of what to do. Surely this had to be the book. There could be no other name for it. She quickly turned to the first page. Her eyes were wide as she read the inscription.

_You hold in your hands the Book of Mischief. No Prefect, ruling abiding prat should read this, unless you've got enough cause. This book holds every prank and plan ever performed. It was hidden for the next person to find it. Apparently, that'd be you. For a gift of amazement, please turn thirteen pages forward. _

Instinctively, she started flipping pages furiously. Now she knew. It _was_ the Book of Mischief. What could page thirteen hold in store for her?

As she reached it, she stopped, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. It was a legend, it couldn't be true. But it was. Breathing slowly, she opened her eyes and started to read, tucking an unruly lock of brown hair behind her ear. She read over the words, the Latin pouring through her head, sinking into her mind as her eyes swam over the text, down a stanza, and then read more.

Quietly, she read the passage out loud, the dead language rolling off of her tongue.

_"Commodo servo lectio porro ado  
Pro donum ut est in repono vobis  
Vos mos reperio ut nisivos es certus  
Lepor lepos porro est vacuus rememdium  
Sic pradecidentivis, operor fulcio  
Nonnullus causa iam, verum exsisto told  
Is est non viaticus, nusquam of genus  
Taman vos ero irretitus in a scelestus vicis warp  
Undeviginti annus tergiversatio_

_Good luck to you!"_

She was confused as she finished reading. She knew Latin, but not very well. She would have to take the book and translate the paragraph if she ever wanted to understand it. But then, as she went to take a step towards the table at the end of the isle to sit down, something strange started to happen. Her legs wouldn't move. In fact, they felt oddly warm, heat spreading up from her toes.

Terrified, she looked down.

Her feet looked normal, though they were rooted to the ground. She looked at the book, frightened and unsure of what to do, and to her confusion and horror, the pages of the book started to get lighter, as if there was a brightness coming from the depths of it. The bindings started to split, light forcing its way out, hitting her face and blinding her momentarily, and then started consuming the entire book. She stood frozen, horrorstruck as the blinding light spread across the page and touched her fingers, and then rapidly traveled up to her hands.

Instantly, her common sense started to kick in as it spread over her arms and across her torso, she let out a piercing scream and tried to drop the book. And then, quite suddenly, she fell forward into space, her feet leaving the ground. She was falling into blackness, flying away...

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Notes:** as most of you readers are probably wondering by now what the weird passage was when Hermione read out of the Book of Mischief, it was in Latin. It'll do you some good to translate that if you've got the time, because I think it's like homework... heh heh. I'm a bit evil, yes, but I think you'll have some fun.

There is a time inscription in the Latin for nineteen years backwards. From the current time in Hogwarts is 1997. I know this because Harry was born in 1980. 11 years later, its 1991, his first year. Plus 6 years to go until his 7th year equals up to 1997. It says somewhere in the Sorcerer's Stone, (I think), that James and Lily got married a year after their seventh year, and then had Harry 9 months later. So minus 9 months, and a year from 1980 and you get almost 1978, The Marauder's 7th year. So 1997 minus 19 is 1978. There's your math reference. And usually, I suck at math. If you have proof that it was give or take a year when James and Lily married and had Harry, review me so I won't screw it up even more.

So did that paragraph screw you up? Here's the simple math of it.

...,1997 Hermione's 7th year  
—1978 The Marauder's 7th year  
...,0019 Years apart

There's two extra years on there because I'm guessing that Lily and James were out of school for a year when they married, had Harry, and were murdered.

Harry is 17, but Hermione is 18 (her birthday is September 19), so it won't matter because she was in the right age group. Sorry, I had to clarify everything because if I didn't, I'd be confusing myself. And no one wants that.

Thanks so much **Lainie** for beta-ing this for me! You rule!

Thanks for reading! Please **review!**


	2. Living in the Past

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any Harry Potter characters.

**Note: **I'm not exactly sure if Lucius Malfoy was in the same year as the Marauder's because he's 41, (OotP), and since Draco is about the Trio's age, either Lucius was a year or two ahead of the Marauder's or had graduated before they had reached 5th year. Anyhow, I'm going to have Mr. Evil Lucius Malfoy in here!

Let us begin!

**Still So Close to You  
By Darkwing731**

((--Chapter Two--))  
Living in the Past

-

Hermione shrieked as she flew through the air, and hit the ground, painfully bending her arm. Her head smacked against wood, and she went dizzy, a trickle of blood dripping down the side of her head. She groaned, rolling over, her head throbbing. She heard yelling, loud footsteps, and felt someone shaking her. She opened her eyes groggily, and realized that everything she saw seemed to be fogged over.

"Harry?" she said dimly as she blinked.

There was a boy on his knees, shaking her. She blinked, getting a better look. He was young, her age, his face handsome and clever, and his black hair swinging down into his face. His light grey eyes looked concerned as he called to her; she could hear him vaguely, almost as if he were across a field of some sort. Her mind was still very disoriented from the past events of getting sucked into a book, and she was extremely confused.

Suddenly, something in her mind snapped. She looked at the boy, horrified. This was _Sirius Black!_ He had been _dead_ for nearly two years. From the newly attained information, she felt dizzy, and her eyes rolled back and she passed out, her head falling back and hitting the floor with a _clunk_.

"Oi! Moony! Prongs! Wormtail! Get over here!" Sirius called over his shoulder.

He and his three best friends, Remus Lupin, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew had all gone to the library. Of course, Remus had forced them into it. Remus didn't want to be responsible for their bad grades when they handed in their essays. Sirius had been looking for a book when he heard a scream and a loud thump an isle or two over, and he had decided to investigate.

Suddenly there was pounding footsteps, and three boys came running down the aisle. They all stopped as they looked down at the girl passed out on the floor. It was uncharacteristic for Sirius to be, well, serious, but this was an exception. Her head was bleeding, and she looked oddly pale. Remus, James and Peter all stared at her.

"W-who _is_ that?" Remus asked.

Remus Lupin, already eighteen, looked at the girl on the floor. She was simply beautiful. She had thick, black eyelashes, a full face and lips, and although her hair was a bit unruly, Remus thought it added to her appearance. He became aware of his friends staring at him, and he blushed and looked away from the girl.

"Dunno. We'd better bring her to the Infirmary, though. Madam Pomfrey'll have our heads if we don't," James said. They all murmured in agreement.

Unsure of what to do, they stood for a few more seconds staring at the strange girl, all wondering who she was, not using their common sense. Remus knew they were supposed to bring her to the Hospital Wing, but none of them were bending down to pick her up, so he decided to.

Her head rolled onto his shoulder as he stood, hair sticking to the blood. Remus looked carefully at her, sensing there was something _extremely_ different about her. He could smell her blood; he knew instantly she was Muggle-born and how old as he was.

As the Marauder's made their way down, they kept voicing the girl's possible identity. It wasn't Michellyn of Ravenclaw, or Emmaline in Gryffindor, one of Lily's friends, and Sirius's girlfriend. They weren't exactly sure who she was and how she got to the Library.

Peter quickly pushed open the Hospital Wing doors, and the four boys quickly made their way in.

"Madam Pomfrey! Ooh Madam _Pomfrey!_" Sirius yelled in a sing-song voice. The boys grinned at his tone.

"Mr. Black! Contain yourself! I can hear you perfectly well," Madam Pomfrey snapped. She stopped in her tracks as she laid eyes on the mysterious girl in Remus' arms. "Who—?"

"It's alright, Poppy. I can clear everything up," Professor Dumbledore said, striding into the room. He was a great deal younger, his eyes holding more sparkle and mischief than they would in nineteen or so years. "Mr. Lupin, please put her down on the bed. And kindly, all of you leave. I need to speak with Poppy and Miss— well, this young lady, when she wakes," Dumbledore said. The Marauders exchanged glances, but Remus nevertheless put her down.

"Who is that?" James asked, trying to keep his curiosity down to a minimum in front of the Headmaster. James and Sirius were known to be extremely rebellious, but they were almost docile in front of Dumbledore. Dumbledore chuckled.

"In the morning, she will explain everything. Now kindly, all of you leave. Poppy, clean her up," Dumbledore instructed.

Madam Pomfrey nodded and immediately set to work on the mystery girl, and reluctantly, slowly, and with many exaggerated glances at the girl, they left. Remus was the last one to go, pausing in the doorframe and looking anxiously at the beautiful, pale girl. Dumbledore sensed his hesitation.

"Don't worry, Mr. Lupin, she shall be alright," Dumbledore said kindly. Remus nodded, and with a concerned frown, turned and left. There was no doubt in his mind that the girl would be haunting his dreams all night.

Madam Pomfrey immediately set to work on the girl. She cleaned and fixed her head wound, and then quickly repaired her arm. Then, holding open the girl's mouth, Madam Pomfrey tipped back a smoking blue potion and backed away. The girl started coughing, and after a minute or so groaned and opened her eyes. Professor Dumbledore walked quickly over to her, sitting down in the side chair.

"P-Professor!" Hermione gasped. Dumbledore held up a hand to silence her.

"It's all right. I'm aware of what happened to you, Miss Granger. There is no way to fix it until the future pulls you back," Dumbledore said. She swallowed, nodding. "Currently, you are in 1978, in your seventh year. Since the amount of time you'll be here is unknown, we need to make up an identity for you that no one can question."

"Yes sir," Hermione agreed timidly. He smiled.

"Please, what is your middle name?" he asked her.

"Jane."

"Alright then, your first name shall be Jane then. And your surname... your surname will be Lewis. Is that understood?" he asked firmly. Hermione, or rather Jane, nodded her head. "You will be a transfer student from Liverpool Witches Academy. Which house were you in?"

"Gryffindor, sir," Hermione answered. He nodded.

"Gryffindor it is, then. You're in your seventh year, just to inform you for reference. You'll be spending the night in here, and in the morning I shall send someone in to take you to your classes and show you around as if you were new. You are not to speak of any knowledge of the future that you posses to _anyone,_ understood?" he asked sternly. She nodded again.

He smiled. "I will leave you to your rest then, Miss Lewis. Goodnight."

Dumbledore got off the bed and went to the doors. Hermione watched him go, confused and desperate to ask him something. "What do you mean until the future pulls me back?" she blurted out. He stopped and turned to look at her, sighing.

"Until the future truly needs you, you will remain here. Also, it is December third. Goodnight, Miss Lewis," he said, his tone ending their conversation.

Hermione nodded, and Dumbledore shut the doors. Madam Pomfrey hustled over, muttering under her breath.

"Drink this dear. It's a dreamless sleep potion. We need you ready for tomorrow," Madam Pomfrey said. Hermione took the flask from her and drained it. Her eyes felt instantly heavy, and in seconds, she dropped back against the pillow, asleep.

The next day was confusing for Hermione. When she woke, she had to remind herself who she was, where she was, what she knew and who she knew. It would be a lot to remember, but she knew she could handle it. She got out of bed and took a shower in the girls showers that was on the far left side of the infirmary, (Hermione had no idea there used to be showers) and then got dressed.

She sat down on her bed, and waited for someone to come in and get her. Around 8:30, the doors opened. A girl with dark red hair falling over her shoulders walked in, and bright green eyes. She had a curious smile on her face, but she looked nice enough. Hermione's heart gave a leap when she realized who it was.

"Hello. I'm Lily, Lily Evans. Professor Dumbledore said we had a new student, and I'm supposed to show you around," Lily said. She had a sweet voice, and her presence made Hermione feel like she was in company of Ginny.

"I'm Jane Lewis," Hermione said as she stood up. The two girls shook hands, and together walked out of the Hospital Wing.

"So where did you transfer from?" Lily asked.

"Oh...erm...Liverpool Witches Academy," Hermione said hesitantly. Lily nodded, and continued asking her questions until the got to the Great Hall doors.

"This is the great hall, well inside these doors, anyhow. You can sit with me at breakfast, and I can introduce you to my friends," Lily said kindly. Hermione nodded, and she pushed open the doors.

It looked just like it did in 1997, except there were different people at the tables, and different teachers. Hermione looked over at the Gryffindor table and locked eyes with a cute, shy looking boy. He had dark, sandy brown hair and amber eyes. The boy stared back at Hermione, and she couldn't move.

With a sharp intake of breath, she knew suddenly who it was.

_-x-x-x-_

"So Lily told me Dumbledore asked her to bring in the new girl," James said, stuffing pancakes into his mouth.

"Wonder if she has a boyfriend..." Sirius said dreamily, pretending to stare up at the ceiling like a lovesick boy. The girl next to him slapped him on the arm, and Sirius grinned at her.

"Oh, shut it, you, I'm only joking," Sirius said. The girl smiled and went back to her breakfast.

"I wonder where she's from. Maybe she's from America. I heard the girls there are saucy," James said with an impish grin.

"James Potter! I'm telling Lily you said that!" the girl next to Sirius said. James scowled.

"Emmaline, please stop acting like a goody. A man has his right to dream," James replied simply.

"You aren't a man, James, you're a little boy," Emmaline said smugly. Sirius, Remus and Peter snickered. "Honestly, I don't know what Lily was thinking, dating you. What did you slip into her pumpkin juice?"

"Nothing! But I might slip something into yours if you don't keep quiet. You'll have pink hair for a week," James threatened.

"Oi! Here comes Lily and the new girl. Wow..." Peter said.

All four of the boys stared at her standing nervously at the great hall doors. The girl looked over, and locked eyes with Remus. Remus suddenly couldn't breathe. Her curly brown hair fell into her fair, flushed face and her bright ginger eyes gazed into his. She bit her lip tensely, and Lily slowly pushed her forwards toward the table. Suddenly Remus felt a nudge in his side.

"Looks like the new girl caught your eye, eh, Moony?" Sirius teased.

"Shut up, Padfoot," Remus mumbled. He looked down at his breakfast. A moment later, he could see out of the corner of his eye that across the table, James and Peter pushed down to let the two girls sit.

"Guys, this is Jane Lewis. She's a transfer. Jane, this is James, Peter, Sirius, Emmaline and Remus," Lily said, pointing the people out to Jane.

Remus dared to look up. The girl was looking carefully at everyone, and when she looked at Remus she had a strange look on her face, staring at him curiously.

"Hello everyone," Jane said quietly. Her voice was soft and frightened, and Remus secretly knew how she felt.

"Hi," they all chorused together.

Then the meal started. Everyone started asking her questions, making jokes, telling stories and pointing out teachers. Then, they went back to their own conversations.

James put his arm around Lily and pulled her closer, and she grinned. He was whispering quietly into her ear, and she giggled every few seconds. Hermione let the smallest of grins slip onto her face as she watched them.

"So Jane," Sirius started.

Hermione looked at him. He was handsome, no doubt about that. He had an almost addictive smile on his face, his light eyes flashing suggestively. Hermione smiled.

"How did you get into the library without anyone noticing? Did you Apparate?" he asked.

"You can't Apparate inside of Hogwarts," Hermione and Remus said together. They looked at each other, and Hermione blushed and looked down at her plate. Remus accidentally dropped his fork and dove under the table to retrieve it. He came back up with an extremely red face.

"Err... no. I came in here, and I was looking for the Headmaster's office. And when I asked someone, they said to go find two big wooden doors. I found two doors, and entered, but found myself in the library instead," Hermione lied quickly. Sirius nodded.

Hermione looked around, but avoided Remus' gaze that darted back to her every few seconds. She looked around the hall, her eyes landing on the Slytherin table. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw someone who looked suspiciously like Draco Malfoy.

Except there was something different. The boy still had the platinum blonde hair, the sharp silver eyes and the pale, pointed face, but he seemed even more cruel and arrogant than Draco.

"Who's _that?_" Hermione asked, disgusted. Remus turned and followed her eyes quickly. He turned back around, a scowl on his face.

"_That's_ Lucius Malfoy. He's a git. I wouldn't go near him if I were you, Jane. He's trouble," Remus warned. Hermione nodded grimly.

"_He_ probably doesn't like Muggle-borns either," she muttered, glaring at Lucius.

"How did you know that?" Remus asked suspiciously. Hermione cleared her throat uncomfortably.

"Well, err..." Her voice was unusually high, "I don't know. He's in Slytherin. All of them are pureblooded biased prats, aren't they?" she asked. Remus nodded, still looking doubtfully at her. She gave him a half smile and went back to her breakfast.

The day went by fast. The four Marauders were in her class, as were Lily and Emmaline. But unfortunately, so were most of the Slytherins. When they set eyes on Hermione, they broke out in whispers.

Lucius Malfoy stared hungrily at her throughout every class that they shared. Hermione always got the creeps when she felt his gaze on her. It was worse than when Draco looked at her. However, she always planted herself in between Lily and Emmaline, so no harm came to her.

Lunch and dinner came and went quickly. Hermione and Lily were a bit late for dinner because they had to stay back to discuss the homework with the Potions Master, who wouldn't let Hermione off for not having her homework. However, since Hermione was new, the Potions Master agreed in the end to let her off. Lily went across the table to sit with James, and the only spot left was next to Remus.

"C-can I sit here?" Hermione asked as she approached the empty spot next to him. He looked up, surprised, and nodded, moving over. Hermione noticed the color in his cheeks tinge slightly pink.

Dinner was very awkward. Hermione accidentally spilled her pumpkin juice, and then put her elbow in the butter. This had the Marauder's in hysterical laughter, and even Remus had a sheepish grin. Hermione laughed along as well, still bright red in the face. Remus kept dropping his utensils, his hands shaking a little.

No one seemed to notice.

Sirius and Emmaline, Hermione had learned from Lily, were a couple. Sirius was flirting and making her laugh every few seconds. Lily and James were quiet close, still whispering to each other and chuckling. Peter had a glazed over look as he stared across the table through a gap of people at someone across the hall. Remus kept glancing at her every few seconds out of the corner of his eye, and a few times she glanced back.

It was unnerving for her to be sitting with people who were almost all dead. Hermione was quiet the entire meal, trying not to speak so much so she could conceal her embarrassment and nervousness, and thankfully, no one spoke directly to her.

They all left for the Common room afterwards, discussing the monstrous essay the Potions Master, Professor Hull, had set for them due in two days. Of course, Hermione had read enough of the library to easily do the essay. After dinner, Hermione, Lily and Emmaline set immediately on their essays. Hermione finished first and helped her fellow girls. In the corner, Remus quietly finished his, constantly glancing at Hermione.

"Merlin, Jane, how did you finish that so quickly?" Emmaline asked as she finally put down her quill. It was nearly nine o'clock. Lily was still working nonstop on hers, scribbling furiously; there was ink on her cheeks. Hermione shrugged.

"Dunno. I just know this stuff like the back of my hand," Hermione answered. Emmaline grinned.

Hermione and Emmaline decided to help Lily finish hers since she was having a hard time. Around a quarter past nine, Sirius, James and Peter all came down from the Boys' Dormitory. They all had mischievous grins on their faces.

"Moony," James whispered as they all sat down around him. Peter glanced over his shoulder at the three girls working, and looked back at Remus with an excited grin.

"What?" Remus asked cautiously. The three boys grinned, looking like they did before they planned their before-full-moon adventure or pulled a prank.

"We just got the greatest idea," Sirius started. "Let's pull something on Jane. She's the new girl. Let's give her a scare."

"No!" Remus said instantly. They looked curiously at him. Then, James split into a grin.

"Ooh, I see how it is, Moony," James said. He cleared his throat loudly, and the color in Remus' face drained. Remus knew _exactly_ what James was going to do. He scrambled to get his stuff into his bag as James stood up and looked at the three girls.

"_Remus and Jane, sittin' in a tree_!" James started to sing. Remus darted for the staircase as James kept singing.

"_K-I-S-S-I-N-G_!" he sang louder. Peter and Sirius were roaring with laughter, rolling on the floor. Emmaline, Hermione and Lily looked up, listening to him.

"_First comes_ _Lu-u-urve! Then comes marriage_!"

Hermione turned a bright pink and muttered goodnight under her breath, grabbed her stuff and hightailed it for the girls' staircase. The three remaining Marauders pointed at her and bellowed with laughter and she sprinted up the staircase.

She ran into someone, and horrified, found Remus, white in the face, desperately trying to get into the Boys' Dormitory door, which was planted quite inconveniently before the split in the staircase to the Girls' Dormitory.

"Door won't open!" he squeaked. She stared at him, still in shock, before nodding quickly and scrambling up her own staircase one it had split away from the Boys'. By the time the door had shut, she could hear the entire common room ringing with laughter.

Hermione sat down on the bed, shaking. She rubbed her arms, trying to rid herself of the mortified and embarrassed feeling. That was extremely humiliating. Sure, she felt awkward and very self-conscious in front of Remus, and he seemed accident prone and embarrassed. And it was only her first day.

She put her head in her hands, taking a deep breath. It could be worse. But when she thought about it, she didn't know how it could be any worse.

"Jane?" said a soft voice. Hermione jumped. Lily and Emmaline came into the dorm, shutting the door behind them. There wasn't anymore laughter in the common room.

"We're so sorry about those gits," Emmaline said, jerking her head down towards the common room. Hermione smiled.

"It's all right," she said quietly. Emmaline and Lily exchanged glances.

"Good, because we told them off. Emma and I aren't going to talk to James and Sirius for a few days. Mortifying you like that, on your first day! We'll help get them back somehow," Lily said. Hermione looked up and giggled.

"That was funny though. I mean, after, when I thought about it," Hermione said. They all laughed.

The girls changed into their pajamas and got into bed. Slowly, as ten o'clock rolled in, all the girls came up and went to sleep. Lily, Emmaline and Hermione were the last ones to fall asleep. They were talking quietly back and forth.

"So how was your first day?" Lily asked from next to Hermione. She yawned.

"Fun. Very... very fun," Hermione answered, thinking a little bit about Remus. He was quiet, he was smart, and he was very ungraceful near her. She smiled to herself.

"And... how about Remus?" Emmaline asked cautiously.

"He's cute," Hermione answered without thinking. "Oh god, did I say that out loud!" she shrieked as the girls started giggling.

"Yes. But don't worry. We'll never tell," Lily said as the two girls giggled.

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Notes:** Well, I hope you liked that either way. Please review! In the mean time, here is the Latin phrase from last chapter!

Please keep reading without further ado  
For the gift that is in store for you  
You will find that unless you are sure  
The charm ahead has no cure  
So cautiously, do uphold  
Some reason now, truth be told  
It is not money, nothing of the sort  
But you will be stuck in a wicked time warp  
Nineteen years backwards

Good luck to you!

**Keep reading and please review!**


	3. The First Sign

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter.

But apparently, I do own Emmaline. Sorry that I forgot to put that up last chapter.

All who read this! Remus _will_ be getting more and more like his buddies really, really quick. I imagined that when he met Lily he was a bit taken with her too, but with Hermione it's a lot more. But he'll be cool with her soon.

**Still So Close to You  
By Darkwing731**

((--Chapter Three--))  
The First Sign

-

"Oh look, Jane, you got an O. How'd you do that?" Lily asked in awe as Professor Hull passed back their essays. Hermione smiled to herself and shrugged.

"Dunno. Like I said, I'm just natural at this stuff," Hermione answered.

It was currently Friday, and they were all in Potions. Next they had dinner, and then all the night and weekend to do their homework. Hermione was already looking forward to the weekend because she wanted to catch up with herself since she had been so busy with homework.

She had to keep herself in check, and make sure to say Remus when he talked to her. Once or twice over the week, she had nearly called him professor. Then again, he looked so much different now then he would in nineteen years, she found it easily adaptable.

She also wanted to keep record of ay of the important things she let slip. So far it wasn't really anything, except for her little mutter that Lucius Malfoy hated Mudbloods. She had to watch herself or they'd become suspicious.

Besides her homework, which was just Transfiguration (_Explain the Conveniences of Animagi_), she had nothing else to do but sleep in and think about everything around her. After their mortifying encounter the first night, Remus tended to avoid her and hang out with the Marauders. But at dinner, he always sat across from her. _Always_. He even 'accidentally' knocked Peter off the bench so he could sit across from her. He even talked to her once, and made her laugh. He wasn't afraid to look her in the eye, though he tried to keep to his friends.

Hermione noticed how lively and outgoing Remus was once he got over his shyness and acted like himself. Hermione loved watching him from across the room as he fooled around with his friends.

On Thursday night, she had talked about Remus with Emmaline and Lily for hours. They were talking to James and Sirius again, so they had connections. James and Sirius said that Remus quickly changed the subject when Jane came up. They took that as a good sign.

Hermione didn't know what would happen if she fancied Remus or not. She knew it would affect her future greatly, so she wanted to act carefully. But she knew she was a bit carefree when it came to boys. She had always let Ron make her raging mad and unable to think straight. Hermione just wanted to be able to be on good terms with Remus to be his friend, and only that because she knew it would damage her future immensely.

But she couldn't deny that little squirm in her stomach that she had when she and Remus made eye contact, or when they walked by each other. She felt just the tiniest thing for Remus. But just a small bit. Nothing else, it couldn't harm the future if she had the tiniest of crush's, could it?

"Ooh, look what's for dinner!" Emmaline said as she, Hermione and Lily walked in together. There was Emmaline's favorite dinner, chipolatas and mince, along with several side dishes.

The girls walked to the table, sat down and started talking and easting and laughing. The Marauders hadn't arrived yet, and Hermione felt the smallest of squirms in her stomach when she saw the Great Hall doors open. Peter walked in laughing, looking over his shoulder and then came Remus with an irritated look on is face.

He was wearing a blue hat trimmed with black with a huge gold feather sticking up from the side. Sirius and James came in, roaring with laughter at Remus' hat. They sat down, nearly in tears they were laughing so hard.

"Just take the Sticking Charm off of this damned thing, will you?" Remus asked angrily.

"Oh Moony, it looks so good on you!" Sirius bellowed, pounding the table. James had his glasses hanging off of his nose, pressing his palms to his eyes. Hermione could see a tear squeeze through his fingers. He was shaking with silent laughter, and Hermione had never seen such a funny scene since the Amazing Bouncing Ferret.

"No it doesn't! I look like a prat! Take it off!" Remus snapped at them. Peter sniggered into his plate.

"Oh Remus, it makes you look cute. Leave it on, it's lovely," Hermione said with a small grin. She wasn't lying either.

It made him look old fashion, as if he were the herald of the King or something. They all looked at her, silent, and then burst into laughter. A small grin spread on Remus' face, and she saw him turning red and muttering to his plate, his smile getting bigger. Hermione caught Lily's eye and winked, and Lily howled with laughter, shaking against James as he cried even harder.

Dinner, in one word that the whole group could agree on, was simply fun. Lily made Remus' feather turn different colors, and when James reluctantly took the Sticking Charm off it, they passed it around and laughed as it sat awkwardly on everyone's head.

Hermione shoved it on her head, and it slipped down over her eyes. Hermione was collapsing against the table in hysterical laughter. Remus was double up in silent giggles, his hands over his face with an amused smile on his lips. Lily and James were still laughing into each others shoulders, and Sirius had his arm over Emmaline, laughing into her neck as she cried onto his shoulder. Peter snickered into his drink.

As Hermione passed it back to Remus, her hand brushed against his for a bare moment, and their eyes met. She felt an invisible shock of electricity, and she immediately looked away, her smile slipping off. She kept laughing, though nervously, until she saw how silly Sirius looked in the hat that she snorted into her Pumpkin Juice, having fun along with the rest of them.

They traveled back up to the common room quickly, still giggling and passing the hat back and forth. James and Lily were fighting over it, and she whined and stuck out her lip, which James didn't give into it. But when he flashed her a grin, and she laughed and kissed him so suddenly that he let go of the hat, she grabbed it. She stuffed it on her head and put her hands behind her head, giving James a momentary sexy look before bursting into laughter.

It took a long time for all seven of them to get up to the Gryffindor Tower, but when they did, most of them were in tears from the laughter. There was a large group of people, bunched up in one crowd, making a loud commotion and yelling across the room to their friends, who quickly made their way over.

Hermione exchanged glances with Lily and Emmaline, who all looked confused. The Marauder's left and, pushing their way through the mob, went to see what the excitement was all about. When they came back, Peter was nudging Remus, and Sirius and James were giving him sly looks.

"What is it?" Lily asked James.

"Hogsmeade this weekend, Lils. Wanna come with?" James asked. She laughed and rolled her eyes.

"No, I think I'll go with Sirius instead. Of course I'm coming with you!" Lily said. James flashed her a grin, and they walked off.

Sirius winked at Remus, and then put his arm around Emmaline and they made their way over to the couch. Peter coughed and left abruptly, and Hermione suddenly became aware of Remus standing in front of her. She looked at him blankly for a moment, and he looked almost embarrassed. He took a breath, and she automatically knew what was going to happen.

"So... so err...Jane. Y-You haven't ever been to Hogsmeade, h-have you?" he stuttered softly, looking nervous. Hermione smiled shyly at him. It wouldn't hurt, would it?

"No, never."

"W-Well... erm, wanna come with me so I c-could show you around a bit?" he asked, looking scared, yet hopeful. She beamed at him.

"I'd love to, Remus." He let out a breath and a relieved look spread over his face. She grinned.

"Good, 'cause if you don't go then you're missing the best time. There's Honeydukes, this massive, awesome sweetshop that you _have_ to go to. And then..." he started explaining rapidly, an excited glint in his eyes as he told everything in detail.

Although Hermione had been to Hogsmeade many times, she listened to him intently. She now knew what he was like with his friends, because he was talking to her with ease and eagerness. He was using his hands enthusiastically, waving them in the air as he now described the Shrieking Shack with a streak of sudden fear on his face that was gone in almost an instant. Then he told her about Zonko's, James's and Sirius's heaven and she started laughing.

"Yeah, they _would_ love that place," she said. Remus gave her a curious look, and her throat closed up. Another piece of information that she had let slip. "Well, erm... 'cause you know, they seem like the type to pull stuff on everyone, know what I mean?" she asked in an unusually high voice. Remus gave her a slightly doubtful look before shrugging with a smile.

"You pick things up quick. First with Malfoy and now this? Too bad you weren't here before; you could've been a prefect. The girl in seventh year isn't exactly friendly with me. It'd be fun if it were you," he said, grinning. She laughed.

"I am!" she said, but then realized what she had said. "I mean, I _was_. In my old school, that is," she lied quickly. Remus smiled.

"Wouldn't put it past you not to be, Jane," he teased. She laughed.

"Wouldn't put it past you either," she joked back. "What did you get on your essay?"

"An O. You?" he said.

"Same thing! You cheater!" she said playfully, hitting him softly on the arm. He pushed her back laughingly.

In less than a minute, they were both on the floor laughing, having knocked each other over. Sirius, Emmaline, James and Lily all looked over the head of the couch. Hermione blushed and sat up, and Remus groaned and put his hands over his face. Lily grinned at Hermione.

"God, he totally fancies you!" Emmaline said as the girls got ready for bed. Hermione grinned and slipped under the covers.

"The entire time we did our homework he was watching you! I _watched_ him watch you!" Lily said. Hermione laughed.

"No, he doesn't! Maybe... I dunno, maybe I had the feather still stuck in my hair. We never did find that feather, you know," Hermione said.

"No!" they said together. "He was checking you out!" Lily exclaimed.

"Yeah he was!" Emmaline agreed.

"Ooh, you have too much time!" Hermione said with a blush.

_-x-x-x-_

The next morning, Lily tried to wake Hermione up. Failing that, Lily woke Emmaline, and together they started pounding Hermione with their pillows until she emerged from under the covers.

"I'm up, damn it!" Hermione snapped at them. They giggled.

"Get up Jane! It's nine! You need to get ready for Hogsmeade! Everyone leaves at eleven!" Emmaline said. Hermione's eyes snapped open. She suddenly remembered that Remus had asked her.

"Oh! Dammit; my hair will be a rat's nest if I don't wash it!" Hermione said hurriedly as she ran around the room, gathering clothes.

She chose a crimson shirt with a black French cuff on the sleeves, and dark blue bell-bottoms. That was the only choice in jeans because it was, after all, the seventies. Even though she had two hours until Hogsmeade left, Hermione appreciated Lily and Emmaline waking her up as early as it was because she wanted extra time anyways.

Hermione jumped in the shower, which was still in the same place as it would be in nineteen or so years. When she got out and changed into her clothes, it was 9:30. She brushed her teeth and hair, pulling it back into a loose ponytail. Lily said Hermione looked beautiful.

After a huge scene when Lily tried to put the hat that Remus had the night before on her, she shrieked and ran out of the dormitory and ran down the stairs. She ran straight into someone, and they both went flying backwards and hit the ground with an _oomph. _Hermione saw she had landed right on top of Sirius, and he looked surprise.

However, a grin spread over his face.

"Hey, I though you fancied Remus, not me, Jane," Sirius teased. Hermione moved off of him quickly, brushing herself off. She scowled.

"Quiet, you," she said. He flashed her a mischievous grin and headed back up to him dormitory, which she had knocked him away from when she flew into him.

Hermione sat down on the couch, grabbing her cloak off the side of one of the armchairs. Her bag was hidden underneath the couch, but her homework was upstairs. She dug her bag out from underneath it. She took her money bag out and put it inside her cloak pocket, and then headed out of the common room.

She was alone for at least ten minutes as she ate a breakfast of kippers and porridge. Lily and Emmaline came in, talking quietly and they sat down across the table. Emmaline gave her an annoyed look and ate her breakfast without a single word.

"What took you guys so long?" Hermione asked.

"I wanted to pour water on James to wake him up, and we had to convince Sirius to let us in the boys' dormitory. We immobilized him in the end, and threw water on James. He's in the shower now," Lily said, almost as if dousing James Potter with water was a common thing.

"Oh. When did that happen?" Hermione asked.

"Right before you fell on top of my boyfriend," Emmaline said coldly, glaring at her. Hermione looked oddly at her for a minute before she knew what Emmaline meant.

"Oh, Emma! Lily was chasing me down the stairs with that ruddy hat and I knocked into Sirius is all!" Hermione said. Emmaline looked at Lily, who nodded and gave her an _I-told-you-so look_. Emmaline looked back at Hermione.

"Sorry, Jane," Emma muttered. Hermione laughed.

"It's alright."

At ten o'clock, when the Marauders finally came to breakfast, the three girls had already gotten up from the table to leave. Breakfast had ended, and the four boys looked ravenous.

"Just missed breakfast, hun," Lily said as James looked at the empty table in disappointment.

"Damn! Well, I'm going down to the kitchens then. Padfoot? Moony? Wormtail?" he asked. They all muttered in agreement.

"Later," Remus said as the Marauder's turned and went out of the Great Hall.

Hermione saw them go down quickly into the dungeons, laughing and pushing each other around before she started up the staircase for the Gryffindor Tower. Hermione wondered about if the kitchens were the same, but she quickly dismissed the thought.

From ten to quarter of eleven, Lily and Emmaline talked and gossiped, and Hermione read a book. She went upstairs, shoving aside all the clothes that Professor Dumbledore had supplied. She was shoving jeans out of the way when she hit her books. She smiled, searching vigorously through them. She was looking for one of the books Lily had lent her, and since Lily was Muggle-born, Hermione had all the same interests as Lily did in books.

A flash of gold caught her eye, and she stopped, carefully lifting a pair of jeans. It revealed a small scarlet book, about the size of her hands put together, with gold stitching coming out, fall apart.

_The Book of Mischief_.

She picked it up, and laid it on her bed, staring at it. She snatched it up after a second. When she carefully opened the cover, she found it was blank. But why?

Lily greeted Hermione with a warm smile as she came into the room. It was nearly 11 o'clock now, and Hermione wondered where the boys were. Just as the thought crossed her mind, the door opened. The four boys spilled in, holding butter beers and truffles, laughing and walking like they were drunk. James stumbled over to Lily.

"Hello, beautiful," he said as he plopped down on the couch next to her.

Sirius walked over to Emmaline, tapped her on the right shoulder and jumped to her left. Emmaline looked over her right, and when Sirius tapped her on her left he jumped to the right. Emmaline snatched his hands and laughed as he sat down next to Emma and they talked quietly.

Hermione eyed Remus nervously as he sat down on the other couch, by himself. Taking a quick breath, and having a good subject to talk about, she went over and sat down next to him.

"So how are we getting to Hogsmeade? Walking?" Hermione asked delicately. Remus shook his head.

"Nah, too long a walk. We take the train for fifteen minutes and then walked down a dirt road for a half a mile. Then we come to Hogsmeade," he said with a bright smile. Hermione grinned.

The train ride itself was very familiar with Hermione, but she acted like she had no idea what was going on.

"These compartments are wicked!" Hermione exclaimed, loving how she could freely act excited. Lily rolled her eyes, and everyone else laughed.

"They aren't that cool, Jane," Peter said. Hermione shrugged.

"Rubbish. I think they're absolutely fantastic," she said firmly. They all laughed again.

It was a half hour ride to Hogsmeade, and halfway through James pulled out a bottle of something. Maybe it was pumpkin juice, or something else, but Hermione couldn't tell. James also pulled out some candy, and after the rest of the group went after them, fighting over them, Hermione figured that James wouldn't hex everyone like the Weasley Twins, so she timidly took some candy.

It was good, but extremely salty. Hermione was so thirsty, but she didn't want to ask James for a sip of whatever he had just in case it was cursed or something.

Without an explanation, Hermione got up and went for the door.

"Where're you going?" Emmaline asked quickly. Hermione gaped at them for a second, remembering that she had to have an explanation.

"Erm... the loo? There is one on this train, right?" Hermione asked. Lily nodded.

"Yeah, go all the way down," Lily said. Hermione nodded, and left the compartment.

Hermione walked slowly, thinking things over carefully. How was this Hogsmeade thing with Remus going to work out? Hermione was surprised with herself that she had been able to remember to call him Remus and not Professor Lupin, though it was easier because he looked like someone else because he was so young. She sighed— she would just have to get used to this time warp thing as fast ass he could without causing damage.

Hermione quickly found the bathroom, cupped as much water as she could in her hands and gulped it down. She wasn't thirsty anymore. She left and walked down the isle, wondering and thinking. Who else was in Hogwarts in this time period?

Hermione began to look into each compartment as she found her way down to her original one. The first one she looked in had a bunch of girls, all wearing Slytherin robes. They were laughing hysterically and making hand movements and squished faces, and burst into laughter again. Hermione rolled her eyes and continued on.

But, she noticed something. Ten compartments in a row were all filled with Slytherins. But why? Were they all in some group? Her heart started to race when she looked into a full one.

It was occupied by Lucius Malfoy, Snape, some kid with wavy brown hair, and four other boys. It wasn't as if Hermione had actually stopped to gaze into their compartment, but she was walking slowly. Unfortunately, one of the boys had looked right through the glass at her, said something to Lucius, and they all looked at her. It wasn't a surprise that when Hermione passed the glass, she sprinted down the hallway.

She found the Marauder's compartment, wrenched it open and threw herself in. She collapsed next to Lily, and they all looked at her funny. She was panting, and her face was a bit pale.

"Jane? What's wrong?" Remus asked. Hermione shook her head.

"N-Nothing. I just... well, I tripped and almost fell into someone's compartment. It was not exactly my most memorable experience ever," Hermione lied in a high voice. They all shrugged and went back to talking, but Remus was looking at her funny. Hermione quickly avoided his gaze.

When the train stopped, everyone filed out quickly, bounding and laughing and running to get into Hogsmeade. The Marauders' were out last, but quickly they started to run. Remus and Hermione were the last people off the train, and they walked slowly and started talking.

"So, whose compartment did you fall into?" Remus asked her with a grin. Hermione laughed.

"Well, to tell you the truth, it was empty. But I dunno, still embarrassing, isn't it?" Hermione said nervously. Remus grinned.

"Yeah...I guess. But still, why did you look all scared when you came back?"  
he asked. Hermione bit her lip. Why shouldn't she tell Remus?

"Err... well, I came back running, is all. I wasn't scared," she said, and Remus gave her a critical look. "Fine! It was Malfoy and his stupid friends. I dunno, he's been giving me weird looks all week and I'm not exactly the most cautious person, am I?" Hermione said with a laugh.

"Alright, I see what you mean. But Malfoy is just a stupid git; you don't have to be afraid of him," Remus said. "He's too stupid to do anything."

"I know, but I don't exactly know what he's capable of," Hermione said. Remus gave her a half-smile.

"Nothing much, besides being a git." Remus said. They laughed. "And besides, he wouldn't be able to do anything because I'll be there with you," he said, holding out his arm arrogantly and putting a swagger to his stride for a moment. Hermione laughed and looked at him.

"Oh, my knight in shining armor!" Hermione said, and he laughed. He gave her a strange look, the laughter dying out from his voice, and he stared at her.

Hermione's heart was racing, and her brain comprehended that Remus was leaning down towards her face.

"You may want to watch what you do to an innocent, Lupin. She might actually trust the _beast within_," said a cold voice, easily identified as Snape's.

Remus pulled quickly away from Hermione as if he was never going to kiss her. The two of them whipped around.

"Shut your mouth, Snape," Remus snarled. Hermione's brain began working again.

It was all the boys Hermione had seen in the compartment: Malfoy, Snape, the wavy haired boy Hermione now recognized to be MacNair. MacNair was the man who had been assigned to kill Buckbeak. Hermione also recognized most of them. She knew most of their children, and it was a wonder how they looked exactly like their parents.

There was Avery, the Lestrange brothers, and only one more she recognized. Not for his child, no, because he didn't have any children, but for his face. He was Regulus Black, Sirius's brother.

Lucius moved forward. "You must be the new girl, a transfer. I'm Lucius Malfoy; this is Snape, Avery, the Lestrange brothers, Macnair and Black. And you are?" he asked smoothly. Hermione could feel Remus tense slightly as he glared at him. Hermione instinctively moved closer to Remus.

"I'm Jane Lewis," Hermione said coldly. "And if you don't mind, _Malfoy_, Remus and I were having a perfectly good conversation until _you_ came along, so please leave." Hermione heard Remus suppress a snicker.

"No, actually, I don't think we'll be leaving. I'm quite intent on showing you around Hogsmeade, and some of the _finer_ places. Surely you don't want to go with that half-blood?" Lucius asked with a sneer.

"Actually, I prefer Remus over you any day. And besides, would you want to be seen hanging around with a Muggle-born, dear Malfoy?" she asked with a smirk. Just for the affect, she laced her arm around Remus' and leaned against him. She knew Remus must've been very surprised, but at the moment she didn't care.

"Ugh! A Mudblood! Let's leave these two monsters to themselves," Lucius said scathingly.

They walked off, muttering to each other, sometimes jeering back at Hermione and Remus. Hermione waited until she could no longer hear them before saying something.

"Git," she grunted, and then laughed. Hermione noticed that her arm was still laced with Remus' and she blushed and let go.

"Sorry for that," she squeaked. Remus let out a small laugh.

"No, it's alright, I don't mind," Remus said. Hermione blushed and looked sideways at him, and he grinned at her.

**_-  
__-x-x-x-  
-_**

**Author's Notes: **Okay! So now I'm done with that! I told you guys that Remus would be getting better!

A huge shout out to **Laine** For beta-ing this for me! You rock my socks!

**Please review! Thank you to everyone who has so far!**


	4. You Can't Always Tell

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter.

But I do own Emmaline.

Ok! I'm sorry for the really _really_ long wait on this chapter! But I was _so_ caught up in _October Hollow_ and I couldn't leave it alone. But now I'm going to make a good smack at this! Here is it Jane! And BTW, Jane isn't just Hermione! Lol

**Still So Close to You  
****By Darkwing731**

((--Chapter Four--))  
You Can't Always Tell

-

As Remus and Hermione made their way into Hogsmeade, Hermione thought, _I think this shall be quite an interesting affair. I'm just glad it's not awkward - that'd be a nightmare!_

"... I mean, I guess I could show you the Shrieking Shack, but they say it's haunted," Remus said quickly, glancing around to avoid her eyes. Hermione knew why; Remus was a werewolf and would _definitely_ like to avoid that place.

Pretending to be scared, Hermione said, "Haunted? No, let's leave that for another day. I'm not too fond of ghosts," she laughed, and Remus joined her, though rather nervously.

"Shall we head to The Three Broomsticks then?" he asked. She nodded.

"Then could we check out the bookstore afterwards?" she said. He looked sideways at her. "I mean, assuming there is one," she added quickly.

When was she going to learn?

"Yeah, of course Jane," he said, smiling at her.

The Three Broomsticks was no different from what Hermione was accustomed to. There were Christmas trees up early, (Hermione realized with a pang that she forgot it was December) and there were many Hogwarts students gathering, having a good time with their friends. Remus pointed out Madam Rosmerta with a slight blush as the waitress waved at him as he and Hermione entered. Hermione raised an eyebrow at him and grinned.

He pulled out a chair politely for Hermione, and when he sat down, he started talking about the bookshop after he ordered some butterbeers for them. It was very nice sitting there with him, clutching a warm bottle, Hermione thought vaguely as she listened to him with rapt attention, but it was very different. She could not help but wonder what the future would be like when she got back.

"OY! Wouldja look there! It's Moony and his _date_!" said a loud, boisterous voice.

Remus stopped talking abruptly and together, he and Hermione looked over at James, a scowling Lily, Sirius and Emmaline, and Peter tagging along as they made through the people.

Sirius and James pulled some empty tables and chairs and pushed them against the one Remus and Hermione were sitting at and sat down rather rudely. Sirius and James, who were sitting next to each other, put their elbows on the table, put their head on their knuckles and looked at the ceiling, leaning against each other.

"Oh that _Remus_! He's _so_ _dreamy_!" Sirius said in a high voice. James let out a fake, smitten sigh.

"Oh I _know_! It's too _bad_ he _fancies_—" Lily smacked James in the middle of his girly speech and glared at him. James just grinned at her. "—I mean _enjoys _that _wonderful_ girl _Jane_!" he finished like a thirteen-year-old girl.

"Oh, don't let us interrupt your _date_, Moony! Go on, pretend we aren't here! We'll be good little boys, we promise!" Sirius teased. Remus scowled.

"Sorry, Remus, but James here was being a lousy _git_ and wouldn't get out of the damn Quidditch store so I brought him here," Lily apologized. "We can leave if he starts acting like his little sister again!"

"Hey!" James said in mock offense. "I'll have you know my little sister is quite a tomboy! So I wouldn't be acting girly!"

"Oh right James! I forgot that with nail polish, pink is the new black," Emmaline said scathingly.

"Touché, bitch," James replied, and they all laughed.

Hermione sat quietly, sipping her butterbeer while she watched the whole little quarrel. They didn't take notice of her, but she loved watching them fight back and forth.

"The only bitch here is you, James," Emmaline said. Lily gave her a high five.

"I'm sorry, were you talking? I heard this nagging little voice in my head that I could've _sworn_ belonged to the wench down the street—_OW_!" James shrieked as Emmaline punched him hard on the arm.

"God, you scream like a girl," Lily said, suppressing a laugh.

"And he looks like one too," Emmaline said. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Ladies, ladies... enough flirting with James, I'm right _here_ you know!" Sirius said, leaning forward to on the table and flashing them a handsome smile.

"It isn't flirting, my dear Snuffles," Emmaline said lightly. Sirius turned red and grimaced.

"_Snuffles_?!" James, Remus and Peter all cried at the same time. They roared in laughter. Hermione couldn't help but giggle as Sirius muttered, "Shut up you guys."

"Oh Emma, what a lovely nickname you've given him," Hermione said with a laugh. Emmaline smiled brightly at Hermione.

"Okay, Emmy _dearest_, let's leave _please,_" Sirius said with gritted teeth, getting up. Emmaline laughed and got up.

"Alright. See you guys later!" she called as they walked to the door.

Predictably, everyone at the table called together in a horrible singsong voice, (even Hermione) "_BY-Y-Y-E_ SNUFFLES!"

It was no surprise when Sirius threw his empty butterbeer bottle at them. They all roared with laughter as it smashed. Hermione wiped the tears out of her eyes as they all settled down.

"Okay, now that dear Snuffles and Emma are gone..." Lily said, laughing slightly. "Where have you guys been so far? I know you haven't been here before Jane, so where do you want to go with Remus?"

It was with way she said 'go with Remus', and the smirk she had on her face as she said it that made Hermione glare at Lily.

Hermione couldn't believe that she already felt a crush for the man who would be her professor someday, but it had happened so quickly. It was nearly like when she fancied Ron.

He was mean to her, obviously because he was jealous, and Hermione simply _loved_ it. But when she started liking him, she only told Ginny, and although Ginny assured that Ron liked her too. Hermione just didn't believe it until that summer when Ron let it slip to the twins.

But as Hermione looked at Remus... it was different. He was cute, and amazingly so that Hermione couldn't believe how much older he would look in nearly twenty years; he was clever and fun and smart. Hermione simply loved that about him. But she didn't know was how much she liked him.

"Err... I don't know, maybe the bookshop down the street?" Hermione said after a thoughtful moment. Lily nodded.

"They've quite a big selection there. Don't get lost," Lily joked.

"I won't, don't worry," Hermione assured.

A half hour later, Hermione and Remus were in the bookshop down the lane. Hermione was engrossed in the titles and many subjects, and she kept pulling books out, flipping to the beginning, reading the flap of certain books and the summaries of others.

By the time Remus had found the one book he was looking for, Hermione had a whole stack. Remus gaped as she slammed them down on the counter and pulled out her money and paid for them. She smiled at Remus' inquiring face.

"I like to read," she admitted with a blush.

Then, Remus took her all over town, offering frequently to carry her bag with all the books in it, though she declined every time. She didn't mind carrying her own things.

Zonko's was wonderful. Although Hermione had been in there a few times with Ron and Harry, (but only because Ron shoved her in there) she found it amusing. Hermione stood laughing at a pair of fighting fireworks while Remus wondered around.

In their third year, the Marauder's decided they needed a safety device for their constant pranks, their habit of breaking the rules, their tendency to get into trouble, and they set Remus upon the problem. Within a few months, Remus had produced something wonderful; _The Marauder's Map_. The map had every passageway, every staircase, every room and every person that was inside Hogwarts. And best of all, they were all labeled too. The boys, from then on, were able to maneuver their way about the castle without running into Filch or Mrs. Norris, or any other patrollers.

But even so, there were kinks that needed to be worked out, problems that needed fixing. Certain people didn't show up on the Map, and sometimes names were switched. Remus had yet to find a way to fix the horrible problem, and so far he had been looking and thinking hard for a solution.

Yet, as Remus rounded a corner, his eyes set down on Jane and her mirth and his troubles lifted off his shoulders. He forgot all about the map and went to join her in the fun.

When Jane and Remus got back to the castle, they met up with the Marauders, Lily and Emmaline for dinner. The Great Hall was filled with chatter, the delicious smell of food wafting its way throughout students as they ate, talked and gossiped.

Jane was unusually quiet for dinner, keeping her eyes on the plate as she ate the whole time. She was thinking deeply, her eyebrows creased as she pushed food around on her plate. Only Remus seemed to notice, but he said nothing. He wasn't exactly sure what was wrong with her; they had come into the Great Hall and he had mentioned the fun they had together at Hogsmeade and she was very quiet from then on. She seemed to be in a deep thought; he wasn't sure if he ought to interrupt her or not.

When everyone was in bed that night, homework done and covers pulled up to their chins, Hermione lay thinking, staring at the ceiling. The day in Hogsmeade had been absolutely wonderful, it had indeed, but there was only one thing wrong.

She only heard it in passing as a couple walked by her, but someone had said something along the lines of "that's _really _going to affect my future, that is." Of course, it had been a sarcastic statement, but she was thinking about it.

If she and Remus did end up liking each other, kissing or having any kind of non-platonic relationship or something close to it, (even a boyfriend and girlfriend thing) what would that do to her _real_ days at Hogwarts?

Being in the same room with _Lupin_ while at the same time to her it was _Remus _would be so hard to handle. And she had seen just a bit of red hair that day, which made her think of Ron.

Her relationship with Ron would be over, she knew that. She didn't want to face the facts because she had a strong feeling for Remus, but she knew that if anything happened between them, it would be star-crossed. She needed to do something about it quickly.

_-x-x-x-_

As Hermione lay in her bed, thinking of her troubles, Remus was doing just the same. Except he was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching James, Sirius and Peter fool around and throw quills at each other and charm books to hit one another. None of the three of them noticed his quietness until a while after.

"What's up, Moony?" James asked, ducking as Sirius threw a quill at him.

"Just thinking..." Remus said apprehensively. Did he dare tell his three best friends his biggest fear?

"I'm so glad you explained yourself," Peter said sarcastically.

Remus threw him a dirty look, snatched a quill from the pile on his bed, and threw it at Peter. It hit him directly on the nose and Peter sat down rubbing it, throwing Remus a glower from the corner of his eyes.

"About _Ja-ane?_" Sirius asked in a mocking, singsong voice. Remus opened his mouth for a second, and then shut it.

"Yes… and no," he answered. James and Sirius looked at each other, their eyes wide with mock concern.

"Oh no! Not _two_ answers! Do you know what this _means,_ Siry? We'll have to paint our nails and have an in depth discussion!" James said in a high, girlish voice. Sirius nodded and put his arm around James, sighing sadly in a feminine way.

"We'll just _have_ to help Remus with his _girl_ problems or else he may break out in a rash!" Sirius said in an equally high voice.

"How would two answers make me break out?" Remus asked, utterly thrown off.

"Because Padfoot and Prongs put Bulbadox Power in your pajamas," Peter snickered. Remus sighed and pulled at his collar momentarily and looked down at his chest.

"Not in these ones anyway," he sighed.

"Well _anyway—_"James said in his normal voice, "We're so _afraid_ of you having problems with your _girlfriend!_" he said in his girly voice once more.

"She's _not_ my girlfriend!" Remus shouted at once, suddenly angry. James and Sirius exchanged glances.

"Don't get so worked up about it, mate," Sirius said seriously. "We were only having a go at you."

"Yeah? Well don't," Remus said angrily. He jumped back and ripped the hangings around his bed so all he could look at was the thick scarlet curtain.

"Moony... did something happen?" James asked, sounding concerned.

"No."

"Then what the hell is wrong?" Sirius asked. "We know you fancy her, so why are you getting mad about this?"

For once, Sirius sounded like his namesake— he wasn't being a goof or a jerk like usual, but he sounded confused and a bit worried. Remus sighed; he knew his friends just wanted to help. He gently tugged the hangings away and looked at all three of their bemused expressions.

"The thing is..." Remus started, "I don't think I fancy her. When she came—, I mean I liked her then and all, but I mean, I really got to know her today. And I dunno... something clicked and it wasn't... it wasn't what I expected," Remus said uneasily. He felt very self-conscious lying to his friends.

"You _don't_ fancy her?" Peter asked incredulously. Remus shook his head. The three Marauders' exchanged astonished glances.

"Well why _not_!?" they demanded. Remus shrugged.

"I don't... I don't really know..." he drifted off. "Okay, well I'm not exactly sure. Maybe I do, maybe I don't... I would prefer if we talked about something else. If not, I'm going to sleep," he said abruptly.

He leaned back, pulled the hangings around, and collapsed against his pillow. Jane was going to take this _very _hard, and he would have to lie to her sometime.

_**-  
**-_**_x-x-x-  
-_**

**Author's Notes: **OK! So I'm really sorry about not having this one out earlier, but I've been having a really stressful month so far with a whole buncha trivial crap, so I won't bother explaining myself. I just wanted to apologize for the long wait.

And I know this is a short chapter, but please forgive me. I've been having bad writers block and I haven't written anything except homework and reports for the last two to three weeks.

-

Thank you all who reviewed! I'm trying my hardest to write but sometimes I kinda... can't. Anyways, please **keep reading and reviewing**!


	5. The Week From Hell

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter. But I do own Jane Lewis and Emmaline.

So, please sit back and read like the wind! (And review like the wind too!)

**Still so Close to You**

**By Darkwing731**

((--Chapter Five--))  
The Week From Hell

-

Hermione's week could not have gone worse after she decided that a relationship with Remus was bad, and therefore, she had to stop it before it happened. It was a complicated idea, though very simple in itself, but Hermione couldn't find the point to her own concept. She _fancied_ him, so therefore, she should let it happen.

But meddling with time was_ against the law._

Anything _against the law_ Hermione refused to look twice at (besides that incident in third year). She knew not to partake in such nonsense. But this wasn't even nonsense, because she felt something terrible stab her chest whenever she thought about it. Choosing the right idea always made things better.

Didn't it?

"Guys, I need to tell you something," Hermione said, a little urgently, to Emmaline and Lily on Monday night. The two girls were gossiping about some boy in Ravenclaw, and they looked over at Jane abruptly.

Hermione had thought about it for a fortnight; becoming more than friends with Remus would cause awkward moments and embarrassing moments in the future. And Hermione couldn't have that.

Even if it meant giving up the one thing that made Hermione's heart flutter.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked concernedly. She and Emma slipped off their own beds, which were side-by-side, and climbed onto hers and sat cross-legged, looking worried.

Hermione knew no way to say it unobtrusively, so she plain out spoke. "I don't like Remus anymore." And her reaction was almost as if she had gone forward in time.

"You don't?" Emma asked, taken aback.

"But you guys click so well together!" Lily complained. Hermione shrugged.

"It was this weekend. I had a brilliant time with Remus, I really did, but I dunno… something clicked in me, and it wasn't the 'here's your future boyfriend'. More like, 'here's your future best boy friend'. I don't think I like him anymore than a friend," Hermione said in a depressed voice. She really didn't like speaking it aloud when she knew it wasn't true.

Lily and Emma exchanged looks. "Are you _sure?_" Lily asked suspiciously. Hermione nodded a _definitely, _and Emma gave her a judgmental look. Hermione raised an offended eyebrow at her.

"I'm _positive_ I don't like him," Hermione said, in her hardest voice. Lily nodded, frowning, but Emma continued to look oddly at her, but nodded after a moment.

The two girls went to bed shortly after, each giving Hermione a distrustful look in turn before rolling under the soft feather down quilts on their beds and drifting off into an untroubled slumber, something Hermione wished to have desperately.

Her sleep was horrible. She kept dreaming about her _real_ life and how being in the front of Defense Against the Dark Arts would be with Professor Lupin. He would suddenly cry out in protest about how she had broken her heart, and Ron and Harry would disown her, and Ginny would be disgusted with her and she wouldn't have anything left.

When she woke Tuesday, she had a strong feeling that something awful would happen, whether it was to her or not. Sighing, she got out of bed and got ready for the day in the past, picking up her homework, quills, and ink and setting them carefully in her schoolbag before heading down to breakfast.

There were few Gryffindors at the table, except for Peter and Remus. Hermione sat down across from them, giving them an awkward smile and eating her breakfast silently. Neither of them spoke to each other.

In time, Lily and James came down, their arms laced together and laughing quietly, and Emma was chased by Sirius, shrieking in mock fear, forcing several other early risers to look in annoyance at the energetic couple. Soon enough, the entire hall was filled; complete will clattering of knifes and forks, filled with hearty laughter and conversation.

Hermione was quiet the whole time.

Remus, after giving Hermione a regretful look, slid down the bench a few people next to James and Lily, leaving Hermione sitting across from Peter, whose mousy brown hair stuck up oddly that morning. Peter gave her a sad half smile before sliding down too, next to the Marauders'. Hermione felt devastated.

All of her classes went by extremely slow, and piles of vicious homework were stacked up due to the NEWT's at the end of the year. Hermione felt exhausted, but kept going nevertheless.

The only _real_ annoyance to her that day, and the rest of the week too, was that Remus was avoiding her as best as he could. He wouldn't sit across from her; he went out of his way to skirt the opposite side of the corridor whenever she was near him. He did not make eye contact. Hermione was irritated greatly, but said nothing.

Wednesday went by in a blur; Hermione had so much homework, and she was working on it constantly, so she was driven to sleepless nights with many of the other Gryffindors as she completed the assignments.

As Thursday came along, Hermione felt like she was at the end of her slack; she had no patience left, she was extremely tired from finishing her homework, and Remus was full out avoiding her. Although on the way back to Gryffindor Tower her book bag had split, causing her to come to an abrupt halt in the hallway as she gathered her books in utter annoyance, he stopped, and without looking directly at her, picked up a few books and handed them to her. Hermione could remember watching his retreating back in sorrow.

Hermione slept through breakfast. Lily woke her up, and with Emma's help, dragged her to their first class, Care of Magical Creatures. Since the teacher was very unconcerned with his class (just like Professor Binns was), Hermione was able to nod off on Lily's shoulder the whole time.

And then lunch came. She was extremely ravenous, having not eaten breakfast _or_ last nights dinner because of homework. And yet, the food made her even sleepier. Lily just managed to drag her to the class after lunch—Potions.

The class assembled outside of the wooden door in the dank dungeons, and Hermione, suddenly sensing that the Potions hallway was not a good place to be caught off guard because of her tiredness, tried her best to keep her eyes open. She slumped against the wall, and Lily was next to her, chatting unconcernedly with another Gryffindor.

There was the group of Slytherins that Hermione hated across the hall—Lucius Malfoy, Snape, McNair, the Lestranges, and the others she'd rather not mention to herself. They were whispering with a sort of maliciousness, glancing with a dark glee at Hermione every few seconds.

She made it a task to glare at them threateningly. Severus Snape smirked at her, a sly look looming on his face. Hermione twisted her face into a snarl at him, and then turned to Lily and started talking, wanting to focus her attention elsewhere because she had a scared feeling in the pit of her stomach.

The door opened, and the class started filing in.

"Don't go to your regular seats!" Professor Hull barked.

They all grumbled, knowing well what was coming, and assembled themselves in an orderly fashion against the wall. Hull pulled out a sheet of paper from her desk and stood in front of the class.

"Now, the Headmaster has made it clear that you two houses are the worst at getting along. And he wants companionship. He suggested for my upcoming project, that partners _will be_ house opposites." There was a loud protest of fury.

"I'm not working with a stupid _Gryffindor_!"

"A _Slytherin_! Over my dead body!"

"I ain't sitting with some stupid Gryffin-git!"

"They'll pour the ruddy potion on me if I'm partnered with one of _them!"_

"_Enough!_" Hull bellowed. The class was instantly quiet. "You _will_ be partnered with a house opposite! _Any_ objections and you get an _instant_ detention!" Nobody moved. "Good! Now… let's see…

"Let's have Potter and Avery—" James scoffed and moved his stuff and sat down, glaring daggers at the Slytherin, who was doing the same— "Evans and McNair—" Lily gave a badly suppressed whine and McNair snickered as Malfoy and Snape nudged him, whispering.

"Lupin and Snape—" Hermione smiled sympathetically at Remus, for he looked extremely angry and forlorn. However, it was Hermione's turn next. "Lewis and… hmm—" Hermione's heart started racing. A Slytherin, she was going to be paired with a Slytherin. There were plenty of them left. What were the chances she would be paired with—

"Malfoy!" Hull's voice rang out.

Apparently, the chances were _not_ in her favor that day.

Hermione dragged her stuff and shoved them down on the table and put her head in her hands as Malfoy sat down next to her, a pleased smirk on his face, as the rest of her friends were paired off with the Snakes.

_Why__him of all_ _people? _Hermione thought angrily. _He's a stupid git, and he's going to treat me the way his son does!_

However, as the rest of the class was grudgingly paired, and the Professor explained the potion and the ingredients and everything that had to be done, Lucius had not said a single word to her the entire time. It was when they were both silently measuring ingredients that he spoke to her.

"So, Lewis," he said out of the corner of his smirking mouth; Hermione threw him a dirty look. "How are you and the _beast_ getting along?" Apparently, he had been watching her and Remus avoid each other all week, as many others had.

"Fine," she snapped. "_Not_ that it's any of _your_ business." He turned, looking carefully at her.

"Really now? For it seems he left you high and dry," he drawled, smirking maliciously. Her eyes flashed dangerously.

"I don't know what you're talking about, _Malfoy,_" she spat. His gleeful smirk widened.

"Oh, I think you do, Lewis. Poor you, left all alone, no longer with him, with no one to —_comfort_—you." As he said it, she felt his hand grip her knee and slid up her leg under her skirt. Her eyes widened.

"Take your filthy hands _off of me_!" she snarled in an undertone. He smirked, saying nothing, his hand inching closer to an uncomfortable area.

The next moment, she had the blunt knife she was cutting roots with at his throat. His hands stopped; her skirt was pushed up towards her waist, her top inner thigh now warm because of his hand.

"Take your hand _off_ of me _this instant_ or I _swear to God_—" She pushed the knife against his skin— "I _will_ slit your _throat_." Her voice was in a slow, dangerous whisper.

Slowly, his hand retreated. He kept smirking, as if he knew some secret about her she did not. "Feisty, Lewis. That's a real turn on in girls, if you ask me," he whispered, coming closer to her. She shoved him away.

"You _disgust _me," she snarled.

The rest of class was silent. He had the knowing smirk playing at the corner of his mouth, giving her sly looks. She forcibly ignored him. It was extremely hard to get by in class, her anger slowly rising, ready to burst at any type of comment Lucius would give her. She wanted to punch him _so badly _but she knew she would get a detention.

As the class ended, Hermione was in a _very_ bad mood, extremely snappy and she did not want to talk to anyone. She gritted her teeth, breathing very hard through her nose to keep from screaming at someone (preferably Lucius), and it was causing her more concentration, which made her temper even worse.

Hermione walked out next to Lily and Emma, glad to get out of the dungeons, her sleepiness completely dissolved from Potions.

_What a ruddy kind of pick-me-up,_ Hermione thought angrily.

As they were halfway down the hall, the Marauders in front of them, someone grabbed Hermione above the elbow and spun her around, pulling her close.

She found her face inches from that of Lucius Malfoy. Lily and Emma turned and stood, rooted to the spot in shock.

"Remember, Lewis, I'm always here to _comfort_ you if you ever need it," he breathed, looking into her eyes lustfully, inching closer to her lips.

However, with a sudden burst of anger, Hermione pushed away from him angrily, her lip curling.

"You stupid, perverted prat! Stay away from me!" she screamed at him.

Everyone in the hallway, including the Marauders, turned to look at her. In seconds, Hermione's hand curled into a fist, drew back, and connected with Lucius Malfoy's nose with incredible strength, and he let out a cry of surprise. She wanted to show him just how serious she was. Plus, it hadn't helped that she had a hellish day. In a wave of fury that was her own _creative _way of venting her frustration, Hermione was on top of him and hitting him, so angry and so impulsive she didn't care.

"_MISS LEWIS_!" Professor Hull came running out in the hallway, shocked at the current actions.

Lily and Emma hastily pulled Hermione off of Malfoy, who sat, looking stunned, on the ground. He had a bloody nose and an utterly shocked face. However, the next moment he flew in a rage at Hermione, knocking her out of Lily and Emma's arms and to the ground and gave her the same lashing Hermione had given him. She started screaming and tried to kick him off. The Potions Master was fumbling for her wand, and couldn't find it; her yells were echoing off the walls.

James and Lily both looked at each other, scrambling for their wands. Hermione was surprised briefly; she had always thought James to be quick and prompt when it came to everything, especially dueling.

"_IMPEDIMENTA_!" Remus' voice rang out suddenly.

Lucius, for the second time in minutes, shouted in surprise as he went flying off into the opposite wall in a burst of light. Hermione sat, stunned and shaking on the floor.

All the Marauders came rushing up to her. Remus put her arm around her shoulders, looking scared, brushing the hair out of her face and stopping her nosebleed with a simple spell. Lily and Emma looked over their boyfriend's shoulders at Hermione.

"Jane! Are you alright?" Remus inquired in a shaky tone. She nodded quickly. Her cheek, just below her right eye, was throbbing.

"Y-Yeah, I'm f-fine. My cheek, though, w-what's happened to it?" she asked. Remus put his arm around her waist and gently pulled her into a standing position, and she trembled. She had not expected Lucius to fight her back— since she was a girl. Apparently, to him it didn't matter.

Lucius was now standing, hastily wiping the blood gushing out of his nose. Professor Hull was yelling furiously at him; James, Sirius and Peter were all smirking at Malfoy, though James and Sirius were being hastily restrained by their girlfriends from attacking Lucius.

"Attacking a _girl_, Malfoy! That is so incredibly low and cowardly of you! Had she not hit you first, you would've been _expelled_!"

She was flat out screaming at him. Lucius gave Hermione a very dangerous look— plainly saying that she was going to pay for what had happened.

"Detention! Fifty points from Slytherin!" she cried.

"_Fifty?_" Lucius yelled in angry astonishment.

"_One hundred!_" Professor Hull barked at him. He shut his mouth and glared at the teacher. Suddenly, she turned around and came marching up to Hermione. Hermione cringed against Remus turned her head, closing her eyes.

"_You_! How _dare_ you attack a fellow classmate for no reason! He did absolutely nothing to you! It was uncalled for, an extremely unladylike! A hundred points from Gryffindor!" she screamed at Hermione, spit flying onto her face. Hermione suddenly looked angry.

"Who _cares_ if it was unladylike? I have the right to defend myself!" Hermione screamed back. Remus tightened the grip on her shoulders, muttering in her ear "shut up, shut up, shut up" over and over under his breath.

"A _week of detention_!"Professor Hull barked. Hermione gaped at the Professor, ready to yell in protest, but Remus's words of caution in her ear made her stop. She fell silently back into place against Remus while Hull glared at her.

"Good, the Mudblood got what she deserved!" Lucius Malfoy said loudly to his friends. Hull turned around.

"A WEEK FOR YOU TOO, MALFOY! NOW GET TO YOUR NEXT CLASS!"

_-x-x-x-_

Hermione, by far, was having the week from hell. She was getting the cold shoulder from a lot of the Gryffindors for the loss of a hundred points, Remus was back to normal by ignoring her, (though he sometimes smiled sympathetically at her, which she was grateful for) and she was stuck in detention for a _whole entire week_ with _him_— Lucius Malfoy.

Thursday went by in a drag; whence Friday came and slowly passed by (Lucius merely growled a threat at her in Potions, and did not talk to her at all from then on), Lily escorted Hermione down to the dungeons, knowing that Lucius would hurt Jane if he caught her off guard and alone.

"That bastard," Lily growled. "I can't believe him!"

"Yeah, but at least you don't have to serve a _week_ of detention with him!" Hermione said angrily to the redhead. Lily smiled apologetically.

"True, but once I had to serve two nights with Snape. It was awful," Lily mused. Hermione laughed a little, and Lily grinned.

Lily left Hermione once she saw to it that she entered the Potions classroom safely. When Hermione entered, she saw that Lucius was already there, a sour, murderous look on his face. Hermione smirked triumphantly and sat across the room and waited silently for the Professor.

"You're going to pay for this, Lewis," came Malfoy's soft, angry voice. "I'll see to it myself that you do."

"Oh, now I'm so scared," Hermione said sarcastically back to him. He smirked.

"Good, Mudblood. You have no idea what I've got waiting for you," he hissed, his light grey eyes bright with revenge. Hermione felt a tug of fear pull at her stomach, but thought nothing of it.

"Good luck to you then, you prat," Hermione hissed. Lucius did not reply, but merely stared at her, a hungry, vengeful look in his eyes.

The rest of the five minutes waiting for Hull was spent in a tense, angry silence as Malfoy stared at her, and she glared back.

Hermione did not want to imagine the things she would endure from Lucius in the future, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she had a suspicious and nagging knowledge of what he would do, something she didn't want to imagine.

The Potions Master came in, threw them both a dirty look, and disappeared into her office for a moment. She came back out with what looked like two scrapers that looked like the ones Muggles used to get snow off of their car windshields, and two heavy duty sponges.

"You will be cleaning out the cauldrons by hand. You will not leave until you are done. Malfoy, you do the left three rows, and Lewis, do the right three rows," Hull instructed in a stern voice. "If I come in here and catch you fighting again, I'll see to it that you both have a months worth of detention and suspension from the Headmaster. Now, _clean_!" she barked. She turned and went into her office, leaving Malfoy and Hermione alone.

She gave him a warning look before turning and choosing a cauldron to start with. Feeling his gaze on her momentarily, she heard him do likewise and start the tedious task.

A few hours later, Hermione was done. Lucius had finished nearly ten minutes before her and left without a word, yet he threw her a malicious look before he disappeared into the night and darkened hallway. Hermione was glad for it; his presence was unnerving.

Scrubbing furiously, she managed to get her last cauldron done right after the stroke of midnight. Her hands were dirty from the rust, and she washed her hands in the ice-cold water by the sink. Sighing, she gathered up her stuff, quiet and content and thinking longingly of her warm bed that she could collapse into when she got back. She left the classroom, her eyes half closed, and yet watching out for corners and stairs so she wouldn't trip.

She was almost out of the dungeons when she heard footsteps besides her own. She stop dead, her ears pricked, her eyes as wide as possible to see anything in the dark. She had been traveling without the light of her wand because she was too tired to retrieve it from her pocket, and her eyes were already used to the dark light, and the wand would only burn neon shapes in the back of her eye sockets.

"Hello?" Hermione called out in a scared voice, her woozy body suddenly very sober and alert. She fumbled for her wand. "_Lumos_." The bright beam of light cast shadows over the walls as she spun around, listening to the soft footsteps coming ever closer.

Her heart was hammering, blood pounding in her ears. She felt rooted to the spot, her sparse hair standing on end all over her body. There was no use denying she was scared, because she was. Hermione's mind was oddly blank as she looked around in fright.

Suddenly, the footsteps stopped.

Curiously enough, they stopped right out of the range of light. And then, something trickled into her brain. _Malfoy_! He was the one who promised her revenge, the one who was going to scare her. How _could_ she not remember that?

"Malfoy, I should've known," Hermione spat in disgust. Her heart leapt in fear as Lucius lit up his own wand yards from her. He pointed the bright beam of light at her, and she was forced to shield her eyes.

"You sounded so scared, Lewis," Malfoy said softly, taking carefully steps to her. Subconsciously, she edged backwards for every one of his steps. "You sounded _frightened_. And of what?" His question was dripping with soft, dangerous sarcasm. Hermione swallowed her fear.

"Go away!" she yelled at him. She realized how stupid it sounded. Lucius kept moving closer and closer to her, coming quickly. She took a step back—and her back hit the wall.

Lucius took it to his advantage to pounce on her. He suddenly jumped at her, and shoved her against the wall, holding her throat tightly in his hand, his face inches from hers. She gasped for breath, her eyes wide, and his lip curled.

"Certainly not, Lewis. You were afraid _of me,_" he snarled.

He lifted his free hand to her cheek and started stroking it gently— something that scared Hermione more than his anonymous footsteps. He looked deeply into her eyes, his cold grey eyes narrowed, a smirk playing at his lips. Hermione fought desperately to break from his grip; she couldn't breath.

"Pity you're a Mudblood, Lewis," he said in mock sorrow, releasing her throat a little; she gulped in welcoming air. "All that beauty gone to waste on a disgusting creature." Hermione suddenly realized what he was talking about— and what he was going to do.

Slowly, his lips left a ghost of a kiss on hers as he murmured quietly, "But you'll never tell, will you? Because you know what I would do to you, Lewis."

She was terrified, frozen in shock. Even if she had been able to move, she couldn't have gotten away from him; she was pinned in such a way that she could not move her arms or legs, for his body prevented it.

And then, holding her tightly against the wall, he pressed his mouth to her with such sudden ferocity that she gasped; he took the opportunity to thrust his tongue into her mouth. She let out a cry of fear that rose up into her throat as she thrashed around, trying to get away from him. His free hand raked through her hair and gripped her scalp so cruelly that she knew there would be marks.

Hermione let out another cry, trying with all her might to get away from him. She was running out of breath, and she hoped he was too. Then, she would be able to scream for help.

In one quick motion Lucius pulled back, taking a deep breath as he prepared to plunge back again when she screamed.

"_HELP_!"

Her frantic cry echoed the hallway, and his mouth clamped on hers cut her off suddenly.

And then, for the second time that day, Lucius Malfoy went flying off of Hermione and into the opposite wall.

"_IMPEDIMENTA_!"

She recognized it immediately as the voice of Remus Lupin. Malfoy tumbled into the opposite wall, and Hermione was suddenly pulled away from the wall and under a silvery cloak. Remus put a hand over her mouth as she screamed from his sudden hands, and shaking as much as she was, took it off. Hermione was shaking very badly. She buried her face into his shoulder, and without giving Malfoy a second thought, Remus gently guided her up the hallway towards the Gryffindor Tower.

They were halfway up the stairs when Hermione finally stopped crying. That was, by far, the scariest encounter she had ever lived through, and she felt humiliated. Remus had a comforting arm around her. She sniffed, wiping her eyes and nose.

"W-Why were you down there?" Hermione asked him finally. She sniffed again, running her hands over her cheeks and wiping them clear of tears.

"Well, I was going to the kitchens, and I remembered you had the detention and I thought you would want someone to walk back with. The castle is rather creepy at night," Remus answered without a moment's hesitation. Hermione noted faintly how he was shoving the Invisibility Cloak into his own cloak.

"You're too kind," Hermione laughed, feeling a little light-hearted and nearly free of the burden of a memory that included Lucius. He gave her a small grin.

"God, I've had the worst bloody week," Hermione said suddenly. "Malfoy is a git, and now he's my bloody partner for Potions! I have a weeks worth of detentions and no one is talking to me because I lost Gryffindor a hundred points! And all this stupid homework and NEWT's aren't until June!" Hermione cried. Remus patted her back sympathetically.

"And to make everything worse," she started in a quiet voice. She felt his body stiffen; he knew what she was going to say; "you've been avoiding me all week."

He was quiet for a few moments. "Jane, I was just— just— confused, I guess. When we went to Hogsmeade, I just, I dunno… whatever clicked between us wasn't what I was expecting, and I didn't know what to make out of it, and none of the remarks from Prongs and Padfoot or Wormtail made it any better!" He kept silent for a few minutes.

"When you came here at the beginning of December, I really, _really_ liked you. More than just a friend. Hogsmeade, sure, I guess, was my intention of a date. But the feeling I got wasn't that. It was more like—"

"You're my best boy _friend_ instead of my boyfriend," Hermione interjected quietly.

"Exactly," Remus agreed.

"That's what I told Lily and Emma," Hermione said, looking at Remus. "That I didn't like you anymore than a friend after Hogsmeade." His eyes widened.

"I told my mates that too. Of course"

"They gave you skeptical looks and didn't believe you?" she said, smiling slightly. He grinned.

"Read my mind," he laughed. She smiled; however much it was breaking her heart to tell him this, it was for the better.

"Good, Remus. I want us to be friends. Really good friends. Because knowing you would be a waste if we weren't," Hermione said. He smiled at her.

"I think the same."

That night, when Hermione got to bed after Remus departed and went into the Boy's Dormitory, she collapsed onto her bed, just as she planned to. Hermione's mind was teeming with thoughts; she had done the right thing and stopped the relationship with Remus before it even happened, and started a new friendship with him. It was for the better, but Hermione felt very sad because of it. She was giving up a romantic comfort for her.

She suddenly wished she were back with Ron and Harry. She would put all logic aside and tell Ron her feelings straight up… whether it meant or gaining a boyfriend—or losing a friend.

**_-  
-x-x-x-  
-_**

**Author's Note: **Alright! I hope you guys liked that chapter! I know it's been an extremely long time, and I'm sincerely sorry. I really mean it, I'm ever so sorry! (Heh I'm a suck-up, can you tell?)

Thank you **Laine** for beta-ing this for me!

Thanks you guys! Please **review! **


	6. Words From an Enemy

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter, just a few characters in this plot. If you read Harry Potter books, you know who I'm talking about then.

Ok, on with the story!

**Still So Close to You  
By Darkwing731**

((--Chapter Six--))  
Words From an Enemy

-

Hermione Granger, after her little incident with Malfoy and Remus saving her, found out that, after that night, things were steadily getting worse.

She had put a plug in her and Remus' relationship so that it wouldn't blossom into something non-platonic, so it was just merely good friendship and that caused a devastating blow to her heart. She _knew_ she was doing the wrong thing (her heart said as much) but at the same time, she was doing the _right_ thing (her brain assured her that she was.) Hermione was so torn between head and heart that she didn't know which way to turn.

Lily and Emma noticed her anxiousness and worry soon as soon as Saturday morning at breakfast, but Hermione assured them that she simply "didn't get a wink of sleep" and after a while, when she stuck firmly to her story, they left her alone.

Breakfast was horrible. Remus, although he sat diagonally from her, next to Peter and chatting with Frank Longbottom, did not speak to her directly, although they did make eye contact once or twice. Disgusted by her own misery, she smiled at him whenever she got the chance and acted as happily as she could around her friends.

The day passed without incident, really, and Hermione found herself slowly dozing off on the Gryffindor Common Room couch after lunch (and before it too) while Lily, James, Sirius and Emma played Exploding Snap and Remus flipped hurriedly, almost frantically, through a Charms book, muttering to himself.

Almost everyone was off at Hogsmeade, having to go Christmas shopping, and Hermione thought (rather grumpily) that back in 1978 the Hogwarts school got _way_ more Hogsmeade trips.

Hermione lied on her stomach and gazed into the fire momentarily, thinking about what to get for all of her friends that she made. Because James was so much like Harry, she would get him something Quidditch related.

_Sirius_, she thought carefully, _he's like Fred and George, so maybe something from Zonko's..._ Hermione smiled, knowing she would find the perfect choice in _that_ particular store.

For Peter, she _guessed_ she would have to get him something, although the two really hadn't spoken two words to each other. Maybe... maybe something for his studies! She knew exactly what to get: a Reverse Fact parchment. In order to use it, you wrote the subject of the course on the paper and had someone else write down numerous facts on the paper. Then, because of its charm, it would make questions (sometimes rather tricky ones) and have the person study them answer. Hermione had found it quite useful in her sixth year.

For Emma and Lily, she would have to get something girlish but not too much so. Maybe for Lily she would the something she has spotted in a trinket shop called _Matilda's Trinkets_, she could get a sort of necklace or bracelet for her, maybe a mood one that even spoke! (Though Hermione secretly knew herself that Lily would silence the ring in a moment.)

For Emma, she would get something that was "in" and the newest thing: Edible Notes. They came in a variety of assorted colors and the paper tasted like whatever color the paper was. You could write notes on them and make them into paper airplanes and send them to whoever she wanted too (because Hermione has noticed Emma was a bit like Parvati and Lavender... a _gossiper_). Maybe, just because the notes didn't seem enough, she would throw in an Eagle quill to write the notes with.

The only person left was Remus.

Hermione felt her throat suddenly close up and her mouth go dry; what could she possibly get Remus that he would _really_ enjoy from her?

Hermione found herself in a desperate state, one that she would rather not ask for help from anyone. Figuring gloomily that she wouldn't get anywhere, she plastered a cheery smile on her face, stood from the couch and stretched luxuriously.

Pulling her calf muscles for her leg had fallen asleep she said, "Well, I guess I'm going to go into Hogsmeade to do some Christmas shopping. I'll see you guys later. I'll be back by dinner," Hermione promised. They all absentmindedly nodded.

Quickly, she darted upstairs and retrieved her cloak and her book bag, stowing her money and her wand in an easy accessible pocket before she descend back down the winding staircase. She waved a goodbye and silently head out for Hogsmeade, a sad, reminiscent look on her face as she suddenly remembered Harry and Ron... and Remus.

_-x-x-x-_

"Now what should I get for him?" Hermione asked herself as she pushed her way through the crowded, cold-winded streets of Hogsmeade, pressing her nose against glass and looking for the ultimate present for Remus Lupin.

The cold, bitter wind bit at her face and made her shiver, however warm her cloak was. Her cheeks were high and rosy, her usually bright auburn eyes particularly dead at the moment as she remembered Remus and what she could never have, never enjoy. She drew her cloak around her tighter, despite the fact that it couldn't warm her now cold, lifeless heart.

Hermione clutched the bags to her side possessively as she walked down the snowy streets. It seemed that a permanent scowl had occupied her face for the day, and she found herself (quite obviously) in a miserable mood.

It began to snow, rather heavily and people pushed and scrambled to get into the warm atmosphere of The Three Broomsticks or Honeydukes and other welcoming, cozy atmosphere. Hermione _knew_ she didn't deserve that because it would put everyone else in a rotten mood.

When the trickle of people reduced to a minimum, she selected a building to lean on, and slowly sat down on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest and looking up at the snowy sky with a lost, forlorn look on her face. Would she ever get a chance at love?

Slowly, she stood back up, and decided nothing would be gained by sitting and moping on a street corner, she dejectedly started her walk back to the castle, unaware that she had been watched closely the entire time.

_-x-x-x-_

"Jane, do you want an escort down to detention?"

Hermione found herself stopped as she made her way out of the portrait hole. Lily Evans was smiling at her and walking towards her, and Hermione thought _why not?_ and politely thanked Lily and the two girls walked down to the Slytherin Dungeons.

Hermione listened with a deaf ear as Lily talked casually about everything she had done that day, letting Hermione add into the conversation with a simple nod or a smile while Lily went on about homework, James, Christmas break, presents, James, her past holiday vacations and some ways she'd like to spend the upcoming ones, and did she mention James?

Lily smiled in a sisterly fashion, forcing Hermione to smile happily back as she pushed open the dungeon door. Hermione closed it silently, and a sad frown once again dominated her features.

Like the night before, she and Lucius had to scrub away at the cauldrons by hand (which had been re-used by the fourth years) and stay until they were clean. The pale-eyed Slytherin was already there, scrubbing furiously and muttering something about "work only fit for House-Elves and Mudbloods." Hermione frowned at his comment and picked up a sponge and started working. He threw her a glance, smirked and muttered, "she's right in her place."

Hermione _hated_ with a passion working alongside Lucius Malfoy, even if they did not interact, but she _still_ despised him so very much. She noticed that the sly smirk never left his face, and whenever they were facing each other, he flat out stared at her, giving her a dominant look as if... as if he _knew_ something that she did not.

And it turns out that he _did._

Remus was there to escort her back (thanks to Lily and Emma, he mentioned) and she smiled graciously and walked beside him back up to the Gryffindor Tower. Lucius threw Remus a dirty look and muttered "filthy beast." Remus glared at the back of his head, and after a moment, he and Hermione walked back up to the Tower, chatting like old friends and both of them ignoring the tension between them.

_-x-x-x-_

Each day, Hermione but on a brilliant façade of absolute beaming cheeriness that no one seemed to be able to look through. Hermione was strangely proud of herself; she had fooled _everyone._

Or so she thought.

The weekend flew by, and so did the week. Christmas vacation was drawing near, and the upcoming Friday would signify the start of vacation and also, and most importantly to her, her last detention with Lucius.

She found that whenever in the same room with him, whether they were a mere desk away or a full classroom apart, he _always_ had his eyes on her, watching her like she was prey that he was just itching to attack. Although Hermione found this just _slightly_ creepy (actually a hell of a lot more than slightly), she ignored him, glared at him, scoffed at him and turned her attention elsewhere. He wasn't worth it.

She guessed that the only encounter _really_ noticeable that she had with him was Wednesday during Potions class. They were working silently, and his gaze slid onto her whenever he had a singular free moment even if it was just for that long. Remus and Snape were working on Lucius's right side, and not for the first time that week, they started arguing and got into a fist fight. Both Lucius and Hermione watched on with a sort of apprehension, both their reasons clearly different. The rest of the class held its breath as Professor Hull rounded on them both.

"_Another _fight?" she screeched at them. Remus winced, and Hermione suddenly had the urge to hug and comfort him.

"I don't know what this will take to stop! Enough of this nonsense! I'm switching your partners!" she bellowed at them. Both Remus and Snape tried desperately to contain their joy.

Fuming mad and sending them clearly seething looks, she picked up her clipboard and her eyes ran down the list. She would have to break up another pair if she wanted cooperation between them. She would either have to get a girl-girl team if she wanted _real_ torture for each of them, but in the end she settled with breaking a regular team.

"Snape, work with Longbottom—" there was an audible groan from Frank's team— "and Lupin, work with Sanders. NO MORE FIGHTING or I'll see to it MYSELF that you're both _expelled_!"

Remus and Snape hastened to get with their new partners. Snape walked angrily across the room and sat down next to Frank, and an extremely attractive girl got up and walked smiling over to Remus. Like many of the other boys, he gaped at her.

This girl, Rose Sanders (Hermione heard the first name whispered around) was absolutely beautiful. She had long ebony locks that fell to her elbows, golden streaks through her hair. She had a slender figure and a creamy complexion and dark, dark eyes that glittered. She had a perfect, beaming smile as she shyly grinned at him and sat down next to him, offering her name and a handshake.

She was beautiful, perfect, _a Slytherin._

Hermione also noticed (and fairly quickly too) that Remus got along pretty well with this girl and was talking nonstop to her (in a flirtatious way, she noted furiously) and they seemed awfully attracted to each other. Hermione gazed at the couple, silently fuming over Lucius's shoulder, who was gazing at her jealous, livid expression with a knowing look on his face.

When she finally tore her away from Remus and that _cow_, Lucius caught her gaze. His smirk was very taunting, his silver eyes dancing with malicious delight, his gaze on her hungry and suggestive. She knew what he was thinking; _get payback on him with **me**, Lewis._ She knew what he wanted and she found herself disgusted because she gave it a split second thought on actually doing it.

She glared at Lucius and went back to her potion.

_-x-x-x-_

Detention that night was _anything_ but pretty.

Hermione watched with thoroughly jealous eyes as Rose _casually_ pulled Remus out of the Great Hall before dinner from his friends to "talk" to him for a moment. Rose's eyes landed on Hermione for a moment, and Hermione could've sworn she saw triumph.

Remus came back into the hall with a bit of a blush creeping up on his cheeks as she smiled at him and walked back to her table. Because Hermione was sitting so that she was facing the Slytherin table, she saw Rose sit down next to Lucius, say something and throw her head back in a dervish laugh as his mouth curled into a smirk. And suddenly, he looked up and Hermione's eyes locked with his. She found herself totally rigid in her seat, unable to move or breathe as he gazed into her eyes.

With one final glance, he flicked his eyebrows up at her in an (almost) intimidating gesture. Seething now, she glared at her plate and moodily stabbed her potatoes.

As the time for her detention came along again, Remus, who was in an awfully good mood, offered to walk her to her detention. Finding that she couldn't refuse the time with him no matter how loudly her head scream _No! NO! NO NO NO! _she accepted with a gracious smile and walked down the corridor with him, talking lightly.

Even though she knew the answer would break her heart, she asked him a question burning at the back of her mind.

"What put you in such a good mood today?" Hermione asked, feigning curiosity. She longed to spit out the question in disgust, but she would never do such a thing.

Remus smiled, blushing. "You know that Slytherin girl Rose Sanders?" Hermione made a confirming grunt. "Well... she kind of —err— asked me out to Hogsmeade."

"Oh."

Her head was spinning and her heart was thumping so loudly that she thought Remus could hear it too. That _bitch_ asked him out! Instantly, Hermione was internally livid and screaming at Remus, but she merely replied happily, "That's lovely!"

Remus grinned at her, and then looked at the floor. He swallowed and cleared his throat uncomfortably and breathed deeply for a moment before looking at her again. He had a very serious look on his face, and for a moment her breath stopped.

"I never answered her, Jane," he said it quietly, looking her straight in the eye as they descended the staircase to the dungeon. "I-I... I guess I wanted to talk to you about it first."

Hermione's most embarrassing, mortifying and uncomfortable moment had been back in sixth year when she was caught (by Malfoy, the stupid ferret) sneaking into the Restricted Section, getting a detention for it and then screaming at Ron (because he heard a different rumor about it) "I DID _NOT_ SNOG A BOOK!" causing everyone to look at her in sniggers and bewilderment and she had positively fled the hall, crying from shame and humiliation.

However, now would probably be the second to worst because it was the most horrifying situation she had found herself in for a while. Remus was asking her if he could go on a date with another girl. How could she say no to him? Hermione felt like crying and beating the living hell out of both Remus and herself for causing this situation. If she hadn't asked, she wouldn't have a second most mortifying moment.

Despite the fact that she wanted to do anything but, Hermione knew what she was going to say even before she did.

"Remus... say yes to her. She's a nice girl, pretty even though she's a Slytherin and she really seems to like you. Bring her to The Three Broomsticks or something and get to know her. I think you may regret it if you don't."

"Really?" Remus seemed absolutely ecstatic. His eyes flashed in eagerness, and on the spur of the moment, he grabbed Hermione into a hug.

She was completely in bliss; his cologne was intoxicating, sweeping her mind away from her body and snatching her senses from her soul. Her knees threatened to give way beneath her, and when she felt Remus let go of her she was in _hell_.

"I-I just wanted to ask you if it was alright because... because, well you know," Remus said awkwardly. Hermione gave a faint smile that did not reach her now cold eyes.

"Go with her, Remus. Have fun." Her voice sounded enthusiastic and cheerful— but inside she was crying.

Remus smiled gratefully. "I just wanted to make sure." She smiled wider and turned slightly, so she could gaze at the floor. She noticed the Potion's classroom door.

"Oh, there's the classroom. Thanks for walking me down here," she called over her shoulder as she walked in.

"Anytime."

Hermione pressed her ear to the door, thanking Merlin a million times that Lucius wasn't there yet, and listened sharply until Remus's footsteps died away. When they finally did, Hermione slumped against the door, her throat closing up and refusing to let her breathe, her eyes swimming in tears before she randomly picked a desk and started sobbing in her arms.

Hermione was furious with herself. She could have easily said that Rose was a slut and she wasn't a very good match for Remus, but _no-oo_, she had to say all those nice fluffy things about the little bint! She wanted so bad to run and grab Remus and kiss him and tell him that that Rose girl was _nothing_ and she, Hermione, loved Remus so badly.

_Love?_

_No,_ Hermione chided herself, _not love. Just... just a strong fancy, is all._ Hermione knew little of love and only thought she had only approached it when she realized how much she really liked Ron. And that was _a lot._ Hermione also knew that she had, like many other girls, second-classed the word and it didn't mean a thing.

_Love_... love was a word tossed carelessly around like some helium-less balloon that kept on coming back to frizz someone's hair up with static electricity. It was a mere word that girls insisted on giggling about at night (something Hermione found _extremely_ annoying) and never _ever _used it in a logical sense.

So why had she done something like that just moments ago?

This caused her to just sob harder, tears streaming down her face as her shoulders shuddered, along with the rest of her body. It hadn't been exactly the easiest thing to do when she convinced everyone that she was happy and cheerful and completely independent.

At least, almost everyone.

It was enormous stress on Hermione and she hated doing it, but she wouldn't let anyone take the pain away from her because she deserved it. She _couldn't_ mess up the future or it would be absolutely horrid!

The fact that she had _already_ messed up the future caused her to cry even harder.

She hated everything about herself right then.

But worst of all (even to herself) she wanted to hurt Remus. _Really_ hurt him. She wanted him to make him feel the torment she was feeling when she watched him talking, joking, laughing, smiling, doing anything with another girl (especially Rose). He really had no idea. She sort of... almost... kinda... _resented_ fancying him because of it.

Her crying slowly softened to a sniffle when she felt a gentle hand stroking the top of her hand. She didn't have to look up to know who it was. A curly lock of her hair was coiled lazily around his finger for a moment before he stopped and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"What are you crying over, Lewis?" His voice was uncharacteristically gentle and soothing. Although she hated Lucius Malfoy, she found his voice, at the moment, calming and (_very_ oddly) welcoming.

Very reluctantly, (for she knew she would regret it) she raised her head from her damp sleeved arms. She tried to remind herself before she got lost in his entrancing silver eyes that this was the bloke that pinned her against the wall and shoved his tongue down her throat. But when she looked up at him, sitting on the desk and smirking down at her, his hand lightly squeezing her shoulder, she couldn't remember anything horrible about him. At all.

Lucius irresistibly reminded her of Draco. His pale, pointed face and (although she wouldn't admit it under wand point) beautiful and captivating silver eyes. Both of them had the same white-blonde hair, slicked back and falling down to the cheekbone. And for some odd reason, Lucius left his hair fall naturally, something Draco tried once and (she still loved the memory) got laughed at from the majority of the school for. But... (and as much as she hated to admit it right now), she had thought then, Draco did look... _kind_ of cute with his hair falling in face like that, just as Lucius did.

Lucius smirked down at her, and slowly wiped the tears from her stained cheeks with the back of his hand. He put his hand under her chin and lifted her head until she met his eyes.

"Forget about that animal, Lewis. He's nothing," Lucius assured her, his smirk suggestive and taunting at the same time.

Her eyes welled up in tears again, but this time, out of pure anger. She stood up angrily and shoved his hand away, his words breaking the spell of trust she had in him moments ago.

"You're such an arrogant prat, you know that?" she spat. He smirked, his eyes glittering as she starting getting worked up. "You think you're so smart and you can get every bloody girl in this damned school! Guess again, Malfoy, I hate your guts and I don't know why you insist on pursuing and _Muggle-born!_ You disgust me and I hate you!" Her eyes were flashing dangerously and her face was flushed.

It was a miracle that Hull didn't hear them fighting.

Lucius slid off the desk and took a casual step towards her, his hands in his pockets. He quirked an eyebrow at her and Hermione's nostrils flared in anger. He took his hand out of his pocket and unhurriedly dragged a finger lightly over her jaw line. She slapped his hand away.

"You're awfully sexy when you're mad, Lewis," he said, taking another step towards her, his eyes dark with lust. His voice was a deep purr, as if he was trying to _seduce_ her.

When Hermione realized this, she burst out laughing. He looked highly affronted as her laughter bellowed through the room.

Wiping away a tear from the corner of her eye, she said, "Wow, Malfoy, you're awfully cheesy." She smirked at him as he looked suddenly furious.

She walked over to her row of cauldrons, thoroughly pleased with herself. She picked up the sponge and picked a cauldron to start on. She knew Lucius was standing there, fuming, as he thought of something to throw back at her.

A few minutes of silence, and she secretly thought _Yeah! I won!_ He hadn't responded yet, and, for the first time in a while, she happily scrubbed away at the dirtied cauldron.

"So, have you finally gotten over the beast?"

All happiness vanished from her. Suddenly, she couldn't breathe and her body was cold and miserable once again.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied coldly without looking at him. He scoffed.

"Please, Lewis, I've seen the way you've been watching him—" her heart hammered against her chest. "And I've seen the way you act when everyone's watching you. You're a filthy, miserable mess! You're just putting on a show!" he sneered.

Rounding on him, she whipped around. "What's it matter to you?" she hissed, her eyes reduced to slits. He laughed sardonically and put down his sponge and walked around the isles until he was standing in front of her. She glared at him.

He smirked triumphantly at her. "Oh, it matters plenty to me. Something's obviously going to happen to you if _dear old Remus_ actually finds happiness and you're left in the dust." Seeing her anger and fear in her eyes, he grinned maliciously.

"I don't know why you do it, Lewis," he continued on. "Putting up such an act for everyone. It doesn't fool anyone." He laughed again and looked deeply into her eyes, tilting his head forward slightly. "Or at least, not me." His voice was suddenly deep again, much more menacing then before.

Hermione was entranced and unnerved at the same time. She watched with helpless, wide eyes as he strode forward and gripped both her arms tightly, his face hovering in front of her.

"You can't fool me, Lewis. You'll never be able too." His eyes were narrowed and his voice deep and rather menacing again. "I can see right through you; you're jealous of Rose, and you hate yourself for letting him go on a date with her—"

"How did you find out about that?" she demanded harshly. He laughed softly, his pale eyes glittering.

"Rose told me all about it. I told her flat out I think it's disgusting she's in love with the Gryffindor, but she won't be persuaded. I have better thing to do than make her ditch him; the Slytherin girls will force her into it," he said offhandedly, before gripping her arms rather tightly again.

Hermione's eyes were wide with fear. "_Love? _She's in _love_ with him?" she squeaked. He grinned wickedly.

"Sad, isn't it?"

Hermione gaped at him. _No no NO!_ her mind screamed. If... if Remus fell in love with this girl... then... than _she'd be alone. _Her heart hammered as she thought desperately of any way to delay (or destroy) their relationship because chances were, Remus would be hurt by this girl, or worse—

He might fall in love with her too.

Sensing her fear and envy, Lucius smirked. "Jealous, are we?" he purred. She suddenly remembered she was being clutched by him, and she ripped away from him.

"No," she spat, glaring. He laughed softly again, smirking knowingly at her.

"I find," he said, rather thoughtfully, "that revenge is a very good way to get what I want." He smirked at her again, and she knew that his statement was hinting at something.

"What exactly are you implying, Malfoy?" she hissed. He chuckled, strolling towards her in a casual fashion.

Leaning down towards her face, he smirked. "You know _exactly_ what I'm implying." He reached up to touch her face again, and she went to slap him but he caught her wrist. She inhaled sharply.

"Let go of me." Her statement trembled slightly, and he brought his face closer to hers, and she pulled back, fear etched over her face.

"You think about it, Lewis," he said softly, the smirk off his face, and she saw he was dead serious. "He'll be dating a Slytherin. There's only one way to counter that with equal force. Do the same thing and be with someone he _hates_ more than you hate Rose."

Hermione knew that all Lucius wanted from her was a good shag, and she was disgusted.

"Bullocks," she spat. "I'd _never_ date a Slytherin, least the likes of _you_!"

Lucius laughed quietly and slid his hand to the nape of her neck, and she struggled away from him, but he still had a powerful grip on her arms. He pulled her closer, tilting his head, so close to her that if she inhale sharply, their lips would've touched.

"I know you'll rethink that,_ Jane._"

This left a thoroughly confused and fuming Hermione to deal with her cauldrons as Lucius, smirking smugly, walked away.

_-x-x-x-_

Hermione was absolutely furious with herself that whole detention. Not _only_ did she manage to waste a lot of her time that she could've cleaned out two cauldrons, but the conversation she had with Lucius kept ringing through her head like a broken record.

_He'll be dating a Slytherin. There's only one way to counter that with equal force..._

_Forget that!_ Hermione thought inwardly. _I would never do such a thing! It's like dating Malfoy to be with Ron!_

_Which is exactly something you've thought about, isn't it?_ asked a cynical, snide voice in the back of her mind.

_No,_ she snapped back immediately. _I wouldn't ever do something like that! That's an ultimate and a disgusting way to betray my own house! My own friends! My morals and everything about me!_

_But,_ said the voice as it argued. Hermione gritted her teeth and scrubbed the cauldron she was working on harder.

_That was when you were in fourth or fifth year. You're a big girl now. Other people are doing it. Parvati and Lavender both slept with Malfoy, you know that. And what about Remus? He is going to be dating a Slytherin. That's ultimate betrayal in your eyes, not his. So why is everything you're thinking out of date? People do it all the time!_

_Yes, but I'm not one of those 'people', now am I?_ Hermione snapped inwardly._ I believe in staying true to myself and my house and my friends!_

_Even when your friends and your house don't stay true to you?_ it asked slyly.

_What the bloody hell are you talking about?_ Hermione asked herself, bewildered.

_You know! Remus and Rose! Peter and becoming a Death Eater! All those things, you saw them! You know them! Sirius has a brother in Slytherin! Lily has Slytherin friends, but of course they're the loner ones, but it's still a house betrayal._

Hermione found herself lost for words.

_Oh... bugger off! Half the things they can't even help! _Hermione retorted finally.

_And you can't even help yourself._

And for once, Hermione found that her conscience was _not_ a very good thing to consent to in the time of trouble.

Soon enough, Hermione was done with her cauldrons and washing her hands off in the ice-cold jet at the sink in the front of the classroom. Like most times, Lucius had finished earlier and had already left, sending her a smirk before he strutted out of the classroom. Hermione stared at the closed door for a second, thinking and then thought better of it. She didn't want to start arguing with herself again.

She pushed open the door and slowly started walking towards the staircase, her mind buzzing with thoughts. She knew Lucius was an ass that only wanted her in bed... but _why_ was her real question. She was a _Muggle-born, _a _Mudblood._ Surely he didn't want to associate with her? A Gryffindor?

_It didn't stop Draco, did it?_ asked the voice again. Hermione smacked her forehead rather forcefully.

"I'm going to end up in Saint Mungo's," she muttered, "talking to myself like this."

Hermione slowed to a stop at the end of the hallway, pulling out her wand and sighing. She planned to meet Remus here again, another thing she particularly didn't want to deal with but she knew she had too, and she sighed and slumped against the wall.

"_Lumos."_

She jumped, startled out of her wits as another wand lit up a good ten feet away from her and slowly walked towards her. Although fear crept up in her throat in a horrible bile, her heart hammering, Hermione wasn't all that surprised.

"What do you want?" Hermione spat at him, clenching her fists and groping for her wand in her pocket.

Lucius merely smirked at her and took a few cautious steps forward so that (because of his longer arms) he could reach out and touch her but she would merely swing at air. He lifted his hand up and put it underneath her chin, raising her eye level. Her eyes reduced to slits as he moved forward again, not a fear that she might physically hurt him.

"All I want you to do is _think_ about what I said, Lewis," he purred, smirking still. Her lips curled in a snarl, ready to retort.

A second later, he leaned down and put his lips to her briefly, although long enough for it to be clarified as a real kiss. He stepped backwards and marveled with a smug look at the utterly stunned look on her face.

"Goodnight, _Jane._" And he walked away.

_-x-x-x-_

"_What_! What happened?" Lily demanded as Hermione finally stepped into the dormitory and sat down in her bed, her face pale and thunderstruck.

Hermione looked up at Lily, and then at Emma who were both by her side and urging frantically for her to speak.

She opened her mouth, emitting a low shuddering sound, before swallowing and finding her voice in a mere whisper.

"_Lucius Malfoy_ just kissed me goodnight..."

**_-_**  
_**-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Notes:** ok, so did you all like that? I'm terribly sorry for the really long wait, but I had lots of things to do and I think this chapter opens a whole new window to possibilities! I can say I love writing for Lucius's character, it's so fun!

So do any of you know _why_ he's so interested in this Muggle-born (other than sex)? I'm still trying to decide what it is but I have a pretty good idea!

Like always, please **review!**


	7. Christmas Surprises

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters. I do own a few fictional characters, but that's alright.

Okay, so let's start!

**Still So Close to You  
By Darkwing731**

((-Chapter Seven-))  
Christmas Surprises

Hermione did not get a wink of sleep that night. She was consumed by the thought of what had happened with Lucius Malfoy, horrified to know that it had actually happened. How could he press his lips against her? How could a man so prejudice against her kind willingly kiss a Muggleborn? How could he _contaminate _himself? Wasn't he the father of an equally as biased son?

At this thought, Hermione sat upright in her bed: what if _she_ had something to do with Draco's prejudice? Forehead beaded in sweat, she lied back down and swallowed the fear in her throat. Not only did she have to tread carefully for her own future, but she had to tread carefully on others as well. If she had _any_influence in Draco Malfoy whatsoever—

Hermione rolled over in her bed, just wanting to go home. She had been in 1979 for about three weeks and it was already overwhelming and upsetting. There was nothing recognizable here, nothing that she could fall back on or call familiar. Though she was intelligent and driven, even Hermione Granger could be pulled under by the stress. Turning over in her bed, she stared at Lily's peaceful sleeping figure, tearing up at the knowledge that the redhead would be murdered in due time.

But regardless of her situation, Lily was always peaceful at heart. Hermione wished she could be just as calm, but the unknown of this future was insidious, ruining everything she had built to protect her. The very walls Hermione had built against Ron's childish emotions were breaking down at the very thought of Remus. There was no denying that she fancied him, but there was no feasible way they could be together without creating disaster. It was wrong. She was wrong, and Remus was wrong, and Lucius was wrong.

But that did not stop her heart. No matter what, Hermione wanted nothing more than to keep logical and intelligent in each situation, but moment by moment she was becoming just the opposite. Lucius' idea of revenge was working its way into her head, and despite the fact that he made her skin crawl, it might equate to being with Remus.

And that was the only thing she truly wanted.

_-x-x-x-_

The next day, Hermione entered the great hall with a mountain of books piled in her arm, happy that they were able to distract her. She knew that trying to figure out this situation in one sitting would never happen, so she took on more work to help occupy her fretful mind. Though she promised herself many times that she would not dwell on Remus, and that she would not give consideration to Lucius' offer, she found that any free moment was spent thinking about them. It was horrible to have such thoughts on her mind, but Hermione did not know how to go one otherwise.

Later that night, Hermione asked Remus to escort her down to detention, hoping that she could talk to him about Rose and appear as happy as possible. Happiness was always important, she reasoned, even if it was not meant for her.

"Rumor has it you've got a new girlfriend," Hermione informed him after they had their bit of small talk.

Remus flushed, but nodded. "Unofficially I suppose."

"Where are you bringing her for the next Hogsmeade weekend?" Hermione asked, trying to sound as enthusiastic as she could.

"Probably Puddifoot's, but I'm not sure."

"Either way I'm sure she'll appreciate it," Hermione said supportively. She sighed aloud, wondering how this would ever work out.

"Err, Jane, if you don't mind me asking, who told you she was my girlfriend? I remember telling you that we were going to Hogsmeade, but…" He trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

"Malfoy," Hermione said at last with a grimace. "Couldn't help repeating the fact that all the Slytherin girls want her to break it off immediately, even though she said she really rates you."

Hermione was surprised at his frown, expecting him to be happy with her words. "Malfoy told you?"

"Yes," Hermione confirmed, confused. "They're friends, Remus. Friends talk."

"Rose said one of her friends kept telling her to ask me out. If Malfoy won't stop talking about it, it just makes me think that he's the one. But… it just doesn't make any sense," he finished.

"Neither does his twisted attraction to me," Hermione deadpanned, disgusted by this fact.

"It is rather strange," Remus agreed. "I just thought that perhaps Malfoy was using her to… I don't know, get to me… "

Hermione chuckled uncomfortably at how very true hi words were before she caught his eyes. Just in that singular moment, Hermione felt everything inside her shatter to pieces: how could she be standing here, lying to his face about her true feelings, about Rose and about Lucius, when all she wanted to do was kiss him? "I have to go now," Hermione blurted, turning quickly away from him.

"Oh, well alright," Remus answered from behind her. Dashing off without another word, Hermione left him standing alone in the corridor, her heart plagued by guilt and confusion.

Flinging the door open, she glowered at Lucius Malfoy; he was balancing himself in a chair and sporting a smug grin as if he were the king of Hogwarts.

"You vile monster," Hermione hissed. "Rose is just using him. Remus has nothing to do with this."

"You mean with my 'twisted attraction' to you?" Lucius purred; Hermione flushed scarlet, but glared at him still. "No, you're right, he had nothing to do with this. Rose has an actual attraction to him, but it just so happens to work out in my favor that we are doing each other a favor."

"Oh?" Hermione asked scathingly. "And what might that be? Destroying an innocent person's heart?"

Malfoy leaned forward in his chair, and with a sudden _smack_ the chair hit the ground. Startled, Hermione froze as Malfoy approached her, silver eyes gleaming with triumph once more.

"All I want is information, my dear Mudblood," he purred, stepping closer to her rigid body. "And I want to get to know you, and your past, present, and _future_."

_-x-x-x-_

The next detention went smoothly and silently, though paranoia had started to invade all of her senses. Each swish of a cloak, each snap of a book, Hermione jumped, fearful that Lucius might be there. Though she wanted it to be so, Malfoy's wording in the last detention was no coincidence. Where he acquired the information, Hermione was uncertain, but she knew for sure that somehow, Lucius Malfoy _knew_.

But even when she turned to glare at him, to bark a retort, he said nothing and did nothing but watch her. The way his silver eyes were glued to her body, taking in each miniscule movement, remembering each flicker of fingers and each turn of her head put her on edge. He was a wolf, a vicious monster, meticulously stalking down his prey.

Then, to her enormous relief, Christmas vacation was upon them and Lucius Malfoy went home. She was alone for two weeks of freedom from his invasive eyes, and instead had to deal with Remus and the thought of his new girlfriend.

There were only a few more days until Christmas, and today was a Hogsmeade weekend. Remus and Rose had left very early while Hermione had kept vigil in the library, trying desperately to write an essay without stopping. If she did stop, she knew there would only be thoughts of Remus and Rose on her mind.

Finally, she could not stand it. Checking the hour first, she knew that soon all of her friends would be returning from Hogsmeade. Perhaps if she saw the couple together, she could determine if Rose was really worth the trouble, both for Remus and herself.

Making her way down to the entrance hall, Hermione waited patiently as her friends arrived, one by one. Lily and James were first, holding hands; James bent to tie his shoe while Lily shoved a snowball down the back of his shirt, shrieking with laughter. Sirius came next with a proud look on his face, carrying a squirming Emmaline over his shoulder. And lastly came to the two people that had occupied her mind all day, one for the better and one for the worse.

Remus looked extremely handsome. His sharp eyes were shining in laughter, his cheeks flushed. His normally neat sandy hair was falling gracefully over his eyes; his thick winter cloak was unfastened at the neck, so his dark blue jumper stood out and made his neck look more prominent than before. His broad shoulders here hugged by the thick material, as well has his arms with hands hidden deep inside his pockets. Everything about him was defined, sharp, and wonderful. She had never seen him so beautiful.

Rose, pretty as ever, was a perfect complement to Remus in that very moment; she was slim where he was strong, soft where he was sharp and light where he was dark. Hermione hated it.

But she watched on, hidden by the pillar she was leaning against. Then, as she realized their hands were intertwined inside his pockets, an uncomfortable lump rose in her throat. She stared as a snowflake landed on the perfect cheek of the perfect girl, and in a moment so excruciating to watch, saw how Remus brushed it away ever so gently before leaning in to kiss her.

Hermione turned and ran from the scene. Hot, blinding tears were threatening to burst from her eyes as she as fast as she could to wherever she could. Finally, when she knew she was alone, Hermione sank down to the floor and cried.

What had she done to deserve this? She could not truly control her emotions, nor could she control the future, but it seemed as if the entire world were against her. All she wanted was to be happy, to be with Remus, and she had shunned that away though she had wanted him more than anything else. She had tried her best in being nice to him, in defending him, and in being consistent with him regardless of situation. She tried to be the best she could for him, but nothing would work.

This was too much, she realized. This stress of staying neutral, staying observant and not proactive, staying platonic and not emotion, was too much to bear. She could not have Remus as a friend, just as she could not have Lucius any less than an enemy. She could not save Lily and James, nor could she warn Sirius, nor could she stop Peter. There was nothing she could do although she wanted to do everything, to fix everything.

All she wanted now more than ever was simplicity. She wanted Ron, his awkward yet undeniable feelings and his crude sense of humor. She wanted Harry, who was loyal and predictable and trouble. And she wanted Ginny, reliable and motherly and fierce as her brothers.

She wanted home. But she feared that she would never get it.

_-x-x-x-_

Christmas vacation was flying by in both a whirlwind of colors and heavy snowflakes. Trying her best to either remain busy or feign cheeriness, Hermione continued her faulty regime of keeping her mind of Remus or any people that would remind her of the werewolf.

On Christmas eve, Lily and Emma wouldn't let her stay in the library despite her best attempts to fight them off. There was a party in the Common Room that would rage on the whole night, they promised, and the Muggleborn simply _had_ to come. While the Gryffindors enjoyed their night in a rambunctious manner, Hermione found herself staying at the fringe of the giant party, quite happy to watch James and Sirius make fools of themselves while Lily and Emma laughed along. Her brown eyes roamed the room, spotting people exchanging Christmas presents, and against her better judgment she thought of Remus again.

What could she get for him now? There was no object that could sum up how she felt for him, nor was there anything that could do justice to how highly she held their friendship. It had to be something unique and perfect, just as he was. Then, in a flash, an idea crossed her mind; Hermione dashed up to the dormitory and snatched up something precious from her trunk that she had forgotten about until this very moment.

Pleased with herself, and wishing to get this moment out of the way, Hermione returned to the common room to seek out Remus, hoping to simply shove the present in his hands. Just as she stepped into the party, Remus appeared at her side as if she had bellowed his name.

"Remus—" Hermione blurted, surprised. "I-I was just looking for you."

"Ah, good timing then," he said. They stood there silently for a moment, the noise of the party surrounding them. Finally, Remus said, "I hate parties. Do you want to go for a walk or something?"

"Erm, sure," Hermione agreed, wishing that they could stay inside the common room. At least the noise could fill the tension between them. Together they slipped out of the portrait hole, and behind them music, laughter and noise was concealed behind the Fat Lady.

"Where to?" Hermione asked once they were alone.

"I'm fond of stars. Want to go to the Astronomy Tower?"

The girl could hardly believe her ears. The Astronomy Tower was famous for many promiscuous things in the night. Then again, perhaps _that_ tradition hadn't started yet. They walked in silence, and Hermione contemplated the meaning of his words, wondering if he was aware that couples frequently visited the spot to kiss. Almost too soon for her liking, they reached their destination. It was pitch black as they stepped up the winding staircase, before the marble archways gave way to a large, circular floor opened up with the night sky.

Though she had had Astronomy before, Hermione was almost mesmerized by the night sky. It was endless, filled with millions of little winking lights. The dark sky was showered by stars as the Milky Way stretched across its unending length, spilling into the darkness forever. Glancing beside her, she saw that Remus was doing the same, and found that she wanted to reach for his hand, to connect them in this perfect moment.

Pushing forward, Hermione went to the edge of the tower, gripping the railing and looking over the edge, feeling dizzy. Below her, the ground dissolved into fathomless black, a swallowing darkness. The great lake was far away, dazzling with the moonlight from a three-quarter moon.

Remus appeared at her side and gazed at the stunning scene below them silently. Hermione breathed deeply, trying to rid herself of the nervous feeling that was creeping up on her. She felt guilty for spending Christmas eve with someone else's boyfriend, but was pleased that she managed somehow to have this moment with him. But there was also another feeling that she couldn't quite place. Could it be anticipation?

Gazing out at the sky, Hermione shouted aloud as a massive explosion took place in the air: a monstrous bang shook the very castle before bright lights burst into the dark sky, creating patterns and colors. The formation of the fireworks began to fall like rain and hail, and eventually formed the words _Happy Christmas!_ before fading to a dim glow.

Remus was grinning at her when Hermione squealed with joy. "This was why you wanted to bring me out here!"

"It was," he admitted, laughing as she clapped happily at the fireworks. "The four of us did it earlier today. I figured Lily and Emma would've loved it too, but I bet they're too busy snogging to have seen it."

Looking over him, she smiled. "Well, it worked. Maybe not for them, but for me; I absolutely loved it."

With a tentative smile, he reached inside his pocket and withdrew a small box, covered in black velvet. It was long and rectangular, and he held it out to her. "Happy Christmas, Jane," he whispered, looking her in the eyes. Surprised, Hermione reached out to take it, and their fingers brushed. His gazed was steady and intense, but she felt her heart flutter. Her mouth dry, her words lost in the knot that were her vocal cords, Hermione carefully opened the velvet box and gazed, open-mouthed and amazed, at the gift it held.

Cautiously touching the silver, Hermione felt each bend and curve of the necklace; it stung fiercely in the cold winter night. Sliding over her skin like water, it felt innocent and extravagant. She lifted the pendent from the bottom of the box and held it in her hand; it felt like a dew drop on a misty summer morning, absent of the cicadas' lullaby.

She looked up, searching his face. Remus looked nervous, but determined that she like it. "Remus…" she whispered, looking into his eyes. Hermione's face was etched in disbelief; no one had ever gotten her something this nice. "This… I-I…. this is so… so _beautiful_…" she murmured, gazing at him. He let out a sigh of relief, and then stopped as if he had committed a terrible crime.

"Do you like it?" he asked cautiously. A joyful smile broke out on her face.

"Remus, it's wonderful! I love it!" She threw his arms around him and enveloped him in a tight embrace without thinking, and not a moment later he held her just as tightly in return. She realized how easily and how perfectly their bodies fit together, even with the bulk of their winter cloaks.

Drawing back from him, she smiled. "I can't accept this though. I'm so sorry, Remus. This is just too nice… I-I mean—"

"No, Jane, I really want you to have it," he assured her, folding his hands around hers so that she was forced to hold the jewelry. "Do you want help putting it on?" he asked.

Though her heart stopped, she said, "Yes." Taking the necklace gently out of the box, she handed it to him, smiling when fingers brushed. Stepping closer to her, he reached up behind her neck. They were so close she could feel his breath on her face.

The next thing she knew, he retrieved his hands from behind her head and it feel gently against her skin. Touching the cold silver, she tilted back to look into his eyes, to thank him somehow, but found that nothing in her body could quite work. Their faces only inches apart, their misty breath a cloud in the night. Hermione could see the mesmerized look in his eyes, gazing at her as if she was the most beautiful thing in the world. And without knowing how it happened, together they closed the small distance between them, their lips locking together and their breath becoming one.

And had anyone passed by, they would've left as they saw that new girl, Jane Lewis, and Remus Lupin, kissing heatedly against the wall of the Astronomy Tower. It looked as if they had been parted for hundreds of years, and the two lovers had finally found each other once again.

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Notes**: I hoped you liked it! I'm so sorry for the extremely long wait, but I think this chapter made up for it. I know that I threw Lucius Malfoy in here without a second glance, but I always liked his character.

**Please review**!


	8. No Choice at All

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter, but I down some little characters that help move the plot along nicely.

**Still So Close to You  
By Darkwing731**

((-Chapter Eight-))  
No Choice at All

Everything that had been on her mind was instantly erased; nothing else mattered to her in the entire world, except for the fact that Remus John Lupin was _kissing_ her.

It was better than she imagined: his arms, which had gotten used to holding Rose, were now clutching onto her possessively; his lips, perfect and warm, only made her hungrier for more of him. Somehow their hands had found their way together, grabbing and pulling frantically, desperately, as if this were their only moment together in all of Lover's History before it was all destroyed again.

Fingers pulled at her hair, getting tangled in her untamable curls; her back was pressed up against the wall, her body against his, and each inch of her previously frozen skin was on fire at their heated kiss. Cold hands slipped beneath cloaks, gasps surfaced from between passionate lips, and each chest rose and fell vehemently with each kiss.

It was perfect, it was everything she had wanted from the moment she had met him, it was—

A loud _bang_! interrupted them, and instantly the moment was broken. They were thrown apart, whether from their own hands or their fear, Hermione couldn't tell. One moment Remus had been there, perfect, kissing her, and now he was feet away from her, staring into her eyes in disbelief.

But then Hermione realized just how wrong this perfect moment was: Remus had a girlfriend, and Hermione was forbidden to complicate the past. He was gaping at her; confusion and panic alight in his eyes, which were flicking in between her own, searching for a logical answer. But there was none to give.

"That shouldn't have happened," he croaked suddenly, trying to flatten his messed up hair.

"Remus, please, let me explain!" Hermione begged, stepping forward to grab at his hands. How could she apologize for something like this? How could she apologize when her heart was breaking in two?

"No, Jane, stay away from me," he uttered, taking a few wild steps backwards. "I have a girlfriend. You don't even _fancy _me! How could this happen?" he cried to no one in particular.

Hermione felt her chest seize up in grief, in a terrible weight that could not be lifted. What they had shared, however brief and limited, it was a perfect moment that she would not have traded for everything. To know that he regretted it was worse than watching him kiss Rose. Staring at the floor, trying to keep tears from her eyes, Hermione reached down and picked up the loud object that had broken them apart. It was the little scarlet book with gold bindings that had travelled with her into the past. She knew that it was somehow meant for him.

"Merry Christmas," she whispered bitterly. She shoved the book into his hands, and fled from the Tower, leaving him alone there to the fiercely cold night.

_-x-x-x-_

The rest of her Christmas vacation was miserable. Hermione spent as much time as she could in the library, surrounded by skyscrapers of books and towers of tomes. But no essay, no homework assignment, no pleasure reading, could take her mind off of what had happened on Christmas Eve. If Remus had occupied most of her time before, now he occupied every waking moment.

What Hermione hated most of all was the fact that she felt so weak. She had dealt with these sorts of feelings for years with Ron and recovered quite nicely (though she did recall feeling quite heartbroken when he dated Lavender Brown). Remus Lupin should be no different.

_And neither should I_, Hermione thought indignantly as she wrote out an essay. _There's no reason why I can't return to my old self. I'll heal. And besides, the best revenge is living well, isn't it?_

But of course, with her insecurity came self doubt in other forms; the thought of revenge made her mind drift to Lucius Malfoy and his malicious, devious ways. Was there a way to win Remus back by using Malfoy? Hermione's skin crawled at the thought of the Slytherin, but at the same time Hermione could not bear to watch Remus and Rose kiss without wanting to break down all together.

Sometime after break had ended and classes began once more, Hermione found herself cornered by a certain James Potter.

"I've got a bone to pick with you, Jane," James said at once, drawing Hermione out of the current of the corridor.

"James I've got class to attend. I can't talk right now," Hermione said, trying to push past him. James would have none of it, and dragging her by the elbow, brought her to an unoccupied hallway.

"What do you want?" Hermione seethed; "I will not be late for Transfiguration!"

"What happened between you and Moony?" James demanded flatly, giving her a sharp look. "You two are avoiding each other, he won't talk to me at all, and you look downright miserable. Tell me what happened."

"Nothing," Hermione lied, turning scarlet.

"Yeah, okay, and Lily isn't my girlfriend," James deadpanned.

"Well she wasn't before this year, wasn't she?" Hermione shot back, realizing a moment too late that her words were restricted information.

James narrowed his eyes at her. "How did you know that?"

"Never mind," Hermione said, turning on her heel and starting off to class.

James rushed up to her and stood straight in her path. "Tell me how you know!"

"Leave me alone, Harry!" Hermione snarled.

"Harry?" James asked curiously, blocking her once more. "Who's Harry?"

"No one. Just my friend. _Please _let me go to class!" Hermione insisted, wanting nothing more than to remove herself from this terrible situation.

"Just tell me what happened."

"_No_."

"Yes, Jane!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"_We kissed, alright!_" Hermione shouted, turning to shout in his face. "We kissed on Christmas Eve, in the Astronomy Tower, right after your bloody fireworks went off! And he told me it shouldn't have happened and he _left_!" She didn't realize she was panting until after she finished yelling.

Tearing up, Hermione turned away from him again but found that James Potter had pulled her into a fierce embrace, an embrace that she gave into immediately, sobbing. The last few weeks had been horrible, miserable, and had eroded all emotional defenses. There was nothing left for her to lose, but with each day she found herself in more agony.

"Don't tell," Hermione moaned, her head buried in his now soaked cloak. "Remus will kill me. And his stupid girlfriend will as well."

"They can't do anything to you, Jane," James said softly, holding her even tighter.

"But—but Lucius Malfoy, he—he knows things, and I can't—I can't—" She broke off into a sob once more.

"You're worried about Lucius?" James asked quietly. "I can take care of him, if you like."

"What do you mean?" Hermione sniffed, pulling away to look at him.

"Well," James said with a grin, his eyes full of mischief, "If Malfoy does anything that makes you so incredibly mad that you want him to leave you alone for all eternity, you come to me and I will do something about it. And then he will never speak to you again. It will be perfect."

"That doesn't explain what you're going to do to him…" Hermione said slowly.

"Let's put it this way, Janie girl," James cackled. "I would severely _shrink_ his pride."

Hermione nodded, though she was uncertain of how this would work, and what exactly it would do to Malfoy's temper.

"You just tell me when, and I will pull the prank on him. He'll be gone forever," James promised.

"Yes, I suppose that's good," Hermione said tentatively.

Smiling, James put an arm around her shoulders. "Now come on, McGonagall must be raving mad at how late we are."

_-x-x-x-_

The start of classes was both heavenly and disastrous. Heavenly because it offered many more distractions and excuses to avoid Remus and Rose, but disastrous because Lucius Malfoy was now consistently in her path. Potions was a particularly painful class; a look in the wrong direction could equate to seeing the happy couple together, and it was not something Hermione was ready for yet. Not to mention that Malfoy seemed to sense her gloom automatically the moment they sat down.

"Quite the happy couple, aren't they?" Malfoy said out of the corner of his mouth as they took down notes from the blackboard.

"Yes, they are," Hermione said through gritted teeth; "And I'm happy for them."

"What hogwash," Malfoy scoffed, turning to face her now. "I've seen the way you stare at them. You can barely stand being in the same room as them."

"Shut up, Malfoy," Hermione shot back. Professor Hull was now circling the room, looking at the Potions in the cauldrons; once she neared the cauldron belonging to Hermione and Malfoy, Hull turned her nose up but said nothing. Hermione smirked.

"_Jane_!" hissed a voice. Hermione turned around sharply to see Lily holding out a small note, which she grabbed from the redhead immediately. Carefully turning away from the prying eyes of Lucius, Hermione opened it and read: _why didn't you tell me you snogged him?_

"_Aha_! What's _this_?"Professor Hull marched over and ripped the note from Hermione's hands before she could utter a word of protest. The class fell into silence, all eyes glued to the horror happening right before Hermione's eyes."Passing notes in my class, hmm?" Hull's beady eyes scanned the note with the smirk. "Since you opening share your love life, why don't you tell the class just exactly _who_ you snogged?"

Snickers filled the air, but nothing was as terrible as the cold dread that settled over Hermione, suffocating her. She looked about helplessly, and caught Remus' eyes for the first time since they had kissed. The boy was glaring daggers at her, forbidding Hermione to utter his name.

"No," Hermione croaked to Hull, quivering in her seat. "No, I won't!"

"No, eh?" Hull mocked. "You can have a whole month's worth of detention then!"

A month's worth of detention for a childish little note? Hermione was beside herself with panic, not knowing what to say or who to blame or what to do. Eyes flickering around desperately, she stopped as Lucius Malfoy's hand brushed her leg.

"Malfoy," Hermione bleated, before scrambling to get her things and dash out of the classroom, tears of humiliation on her face.

_-x-x-x-_

"Jane?"

Hermione looked up, her eyes blurry with tears. She spotted red hair, and without even thinking, ran to the girl and threw her arms around her, sobbing in her shoulder. Lily held her and tried to soothe the girl best she could before Hermione pulled back, wiping her eyes.

"I made such a fool of myself," Hermione whispered.

"That's alright," Lily said, smiling sympathetically. "I've been just as foolish before. I understand why you had to do it."

"It's just—it's just Remus looked so angry. I couldn't say his name, he looked as if he was going to kill me," Hermione moaned. "It was an accident," she confessed in a whisper. "The kiss. I didn't mean to, I just—"

"You don't have to explain," Lily interjected, rubbing her shoulder. "I'm sorry I passed you the note. If it weren't for me, this never would have happened."

"I'm not blaming you, Lily. I just wish things weren't this complicated," Hermione said miserably.

"If you don't mind me asking, did you have a change of heart about Remus? Because you don't strike me as the kind of girl who likes to kiss boys just for the fun of it," Lily said seriously.

For whatever reason, Hermione began to laugh, wiping away tears simultaneously. "I suppose it's true. I suppose I do fancy him. But he's got a girlfriend and I shouldn't be dating anyone right now."

"Nonsense," Lily cooed. "We should break it off with that wretched Slytherin girl anyway!"

"I just want Remus to be happy," Hermione sighed. "If I was in the picture that would be lovely too, but I can't get too hopeful."

"That's very mature of you," Lily said. "Why don't you focus on maintaining your friendship with him? I mean, all this time you claimed you _didn't_ fancy him but then you _kissed _him and now you _do_ fancy him… He must be very confused."

"I know," Hermione groaned. "You're right. I'll apologize."

"And then perhaps he'll go out with you then," Lily said with a grin.

"Fat chance," Hermione replied, a small smile creeping onto her face.

So, for the next month, Hermione decided she would focus on becoming Remus' friend again. Gaining what little trust she had had in the first place was the only chance she had at becoming close to him again. However, she found that approaching him was quite difficult; she was still nursing hurt feelings and Remus did not seem too keen on being near her. In fact, Remus continued to find excuses to leave once Hermione entered the room.

The only time they were really together was during classes, but Hermione simply could not get up and walk over to him in the middle of a lecture. She could only hope that by some miracle, they could be partners. And in Potions, of course, it was all together impossible: as Remus and Rose were partners, the werewolf never took his eyes off his girlfriend.

Lucius Malfoy, of course, had noticed her attempts at rekindling her relationship with Remus. His approach on winning Hermione over had changed, and Hermione wasn't sure how she liked this new tactic. Lucius was sly and underhanded, very sarcastic, and pointed out the painfully obvious things she had been ignoring inside herself. Perhaps she preferred him as a malicious prat who was violent and evil.

"You know, Rose never stops talking about that dreadful boyfriend of hers. I was beginning to think it was all a lie, but they look quite happy, don't they?" Lucius asked Hermione with a feigned curiosity.

Clamping her jaw together was the only thing she could do: agreeing with Malfoy would mean the worse, and denying it would undermine her completely. But Malfoy _was_ right, Remus and Rose did look happy. The last few weeks they had been spotted between classes, seen holding hands in the corridors, and caught sneaking out after hours. When Remus wasn't avoiding Hermione, he was with his beautiful Slytherin girlfriend, sporting a lovesick smile.

"Such a shame that you can't be with him now," Lucius sighed. "From what I hear he's simply head over heels."

"Good," Hermione said, her voice much harsher than she had intended it to be; "I want Remus to be happy."

"Now, now," Lucius chided, "Don't take me for a fool. I know very well that you're trying desperately to get over him. Doing everything you can to make yourself feel better. But it's not working, Lewis."

Hermione tried to swallow the lump in her throat, but could not. "I don't need him to be happy."

"Ah yes, but you _want_ him because then you _would be_ happy," he pointed out. "Because, let me guess, Rose is a foolish, shallow girl and Lupin is intelligent and perfect, not to mention a better suited match for you?"

"His decisions are out of my control," Hermione said through gritted teeth, her blood boiling.

"But what if it _was_ in your control? What if you _could_ control his actions?"

"Shut up, Malfoy," Hermione spat. "I'm not playing your games."

At this, Lucius touched her leg, which made her jump. "You've been playing my games all along, darling," he purred. "And you need me to win him back."

"I don't need you," Hermione hissed, pushing his hand away at once. "I don't even need Remus. I'm a big girl, I'll get over it. Sometimes unrequited love is for the best, Malfoy. Not everyone can just go and _buy_ what they want."

"But you can," Malfoy pressed, a twisted grin on his face. "You have me, and that's all you need to get him."

"I don't want Remus," Hermione snarled. "_And I don't want you_,"

Lucius sat back in his seat, a satisfied smile on his face as if he had not heard her last words. "You don't really have a choice."

_-x-x-x-_

It was nearing the end of January; the castle was very cold and very drafty, and Hermione found herself bundled up more than usual. The plan to patch up her friendship with Remus was still going horribly, but Hermione began to build up her walls again. She was determined to fix things, and she would not walk away as wounded again. She was stronger.

As the spring term began, the workload increased heavily for the seventh years. Hermione was seeing more and more of her classmates in the library, Remus Lupin being one of them. After a week of observing his studying habits from afar, she decided it would be best to corner him while it was very busy in the library, that way he would be forced to leave the library entirely if he wanted to get away from her.

The day had come: Remus had carefully arranged his many textbooks across the tabletop and was referencing them consistently as he wrote an essay. Hermione, glancing in between the shelves, moved forward silently and came up behind him, knowing that she would catch him completely off guard. She stood there for a long moment, her heart pounding in her throat, before she forced herself to pull out the chair next to him and sit down.

"Hello, Remus," Hermione said, trying to ignore her fluttering heartbeat. It was the first time in weeks since they had looked each other in the eye, and Hermione was still awestruck at how he looked. Remus, on the other hand, looked completely flabbergasted that Jane Lewis, the girl he had been avoiding at all costs, was sitting down a foot away from him.

As Hermione predicted, he turned and began to pack up his things at once; Hermione grabbed his arm and halted him immediately.

"Please just hear me out," Hermione begged; his arm froze, his eyes glaring at a knot in the table. "Look, I know that things have been… strange since Christmas. I just wanted to apologize for what happened. I was misleading, it was an accident, and I just want to be friends again."

After a very tense moment, Remus spoke, his words very carefully selected. "Being friends again will create more problems rather than solutions."

Crestfallen, Hermione asked, "What do you mean?"

"Rose feels that it would be better if you and I stayed away from each other," Remus replied curtly, sticking his chin out defiantly.

"Rose feels?" Hermione repeated, seizing his arm as he tried to pack up his things again. "I don't give a damn what she thinks, I want to know what you think!"

"She's probably right," Remus said, turning to look at Hermione full in the face; it was a mixture of extreme discomfort and bravado. "I don't want you jumping on me again."

Hermione was not defeated, nor miserable, nor was she sad; instead, she was furious. "That I _jumped_ on you?" she hissed. "What did you tell her Remus, a selective fraction of the story? That's not what happened!"

"It was all she needed to know," Remus said as he ripped his arm from Hermione's hand in order to collect his things.

"I bet she doesn't know about your precious necklace, does she?" Hermione spluttered, turning red, "Or the fact that _you_ suggested the Astronomy Tower."

"Look, I don't know what you're getting angry at me!" Remus snapped, turning red about the face as Hermione caught him in his lie; "Go complain to your Slytherin boyfriend Lucius Malfoy."

"_What?_" Hermione ejaculated, "Malfoy is _not_ my boyfriend."

"You don't have to try and hide it, Jane, everyone knows," Remus muttered, stuffing things into his bag.

"This is unbelievable," Hermione breathed. "I just wanted to fix my wrongdoing! And here you are accusing _me_ of dating some slimy wanker when _you're_ dating Rose Sanders!"

"What's unbelievable is that you could stoop down to someone like him," Remus shot back, "After everything—everything that's happened!"

"_Nothing_ has happened between Malfoy and me. I am _not_ dating him," she repeated, glaring at Remus now. How could be this blind? How could he be this insufferably thick?

"Yeah, alright," Remus said sarcastically. "I've heard about all the stories. You always say you're in the library but you've snuck down to the dungeons."

"_That's not true_!" Hermione cried, wanting nothing more than to strangle the boy now. "Remus, how can you believe that? How can you believe _Rose_? You know me, I'm not that girl!"

"I don't know who you are," Remus said coldly. "You're strange. You know too much, things no one else knows. Like that stuff about Hogsmeade—"

"Have you gone raving mad?" Hermione interrupted; "You're rejecting me because I know too much about Hogsmeade?"

"—And Lily and James, and when we took that walk to Hogsmeade—"

"Remus, listen to yourself!" Hermione pleaded. "This is insane! All I want is for us to be friends!"

"No," Remus said sharply. "Rose won't have it—"

"Great pick you've got there," Hermione said sarcastically; "Your girlfriend's threatened by someone you won't even _talk_ to!"

"My my, this is much too loud for a library, isn't it?" drawled a horribly familiar voice. Hermione did not have to turn around to know that Lucius Malfoy had arrived; the look of loathing on Remus' face was overwhelming as he glared at the Slytherin.

Without another word, Remus successfully shoved all of his things into his bag as Hermione watched, agape, as he promptly hurried out. She turned to punish Malfoy, whether with a hex, a curse, or her fist (or perhaps all three), but was seething mad to see him swagger away.

With just one little rumor, Lucius Malfoy had singlehandedly destroyed the possibility of friendship, and had boxed Hermione into a very uncomfortable corner. She could either walk away entirely, leaving Remus behind for good, or she could fight to reveal the truth to him, that Rose and Malfoy were lying to him all along.

She should have been sad, or perhaps in tears by now, but Hermione Granger was instead frustrated, and for a loss of what to do. Uncertainty defined her now, because whatever she was dealing with changed within moments. This was no longer a matter of apologizing to Remus, but a matter of finding the source of the rumor and guiding him towards the truth. But what would it take for him to accept it?

_-x-x-x-_

Another week had gone, and January was now over. February had closed in upon them as suddenly as winter snow, taking everyone off guard. Valentine's Day was soon approaching as well, and people around the school were becoming overly affectionate, making Hermione want to vomit.

The last week had also been just tormenting for her as well; now Remus was glaring at her whenever he got the chance, and Lucius was constantly sporting a smug, triumphant look. More than once she had attempted to catch Malfoy off guard so that she would reprimand him for ruining her friendship, but found that he was always just out of reach. Either in classes, or with friends, Malfoy would not let her near.

So, naturally, Hermione retreated to the library more often than not, hating how some people might think she was in the dungeons at that very moment. Still, she pushed on and continued working on homework and essays instead of worrying about the awful rumor that was already out of control.

On one of these days, something very surprising happened. Hermione had her books laid out systematically across the library table as she wrote a Transfiguration essay. She was very focused on copying down a fact when a hesitant cough caught her attention. Looking up at once, she was taken aback to see Remus Lupin standing in front of her.

"Hi," he said awkwardly, hovering across the table.

"Hello," Hermione replied warily; lying her quill down, she asked, "What do you need, Remus?"

Clearing his throat again, Remus pulled out the chair and sat down across from her. "I-I just wanted to apologize for the last time we talk. I was quite rude, and you're right. We should be friends still."

Hermione blinked, astonished at these words. Was this the same boy who had been avoiding her adamantly all month, had accused her of terrible things last week, but was now apologizing and accepting her once again? But then, Hermione realized what had happened.

"What did Rose say?" Hermione asked quietly. She had a horrible feeling that somehow this apology could be traced back to Malfoy…

"I explained to her that she shouldn't be threatened by you," Remus said, "Because now you're dating Malfoy, and you have no reason to go for me."

"Merlin's beard," Hermione sighed, "I am _not_ going out with Malfoy! How many times do I have to tell you that, Remus?"

"It's alright, Jane, I talked to Rose about that too," Remus said. "I should be more—accepting—of whom you choose to date. And you were right as well; I can't really criticize you when I'm dating a Slytherin as well."

"_I—am—not—dating—Malfoy_," Hermione said through gritted teeth.

"You've got to stop saying that, it isn't very funny," drawled a voice from behind her, and before Hermione could react, Malfoy swooped in and kissed her on the cheek.

"Lupin," Malfoy greeted pleasantly as he sat down next to Hermione.

"Malfoy," Remus returned, his voice a great deal colder.

Hermione was beside herself with rage; how could Remus believe this rubbish? And how could Malfoy keep doing this?

"Is this little reunion about Hogsmeade next weekend?" Malfoy asked, draping his arm on Hermione's chair. She shoved it off at once, glaring at him.

"It is," Remus confirmed through a very taut jaw.

"I'm not going to Hogsmeade with you," Hermione growled at Malfoy, drawing out her wand.

"Nonsense," Malfoy said, seizing her wand arm under the table and holding it down out of view. "Rose would very much enjoy a little double date."

"She would," Remus confirmed again, though Hermione realized he looked fuming mad for some reason. "Anyway, I'll be off. See you later, Jane."

And then, as quick as that, Remus had snatched his things up and dashed out; Hermione turned to snarl a curse at Malfoy, but he had seized her by the shoulder and pressed his lips against her ear.

"Notice one small thing before you curse me, Lewis. Your little boyfriend looks furious that we should be together," Malfoy purred. "_He's jealous_. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"I told you I didn't want him," Hermione hissed, ripping her shoulder out of his grasp. "_And I don't want you_."

"I told you before, you don't really have a choice," he said, eyes flashing dangerously.

"I do have a choice, and it isn't you!"

"It's very unfortunate that you should say that," Malfoy drawled, a devilish smile curling onto his lips. "After all, you wouldn't want me to start another rumor, would you?"

"Rumors as just words, they can't do anything," Hermione spat.

"They can if they're true," Malfoy reminded her. "Don't forget what I know about you. Where you came from—"

"Liverpool Witches Academy, everyone knows that," Hermione interjected.

"—And _when_ you came," Malfoy finished, a terrible gleam to his eye. Hermione froze in her seat. "And don't forget that I know what _time_ you left to come here."

_How? How could he know this? How could anyone know this?_

Malfoy leaned forward again, brushing his lips against her ear. This time, Hermione did not stop him. "You're coming with me to Hogsmeade next weekend. Don't try and fight me off, because every time you deny me, the worse it will be for you and your little boyfriend. Whatever I tell Rose she will whisper in his ear, and _he will believe it_. The more you fight me, the more he'll hates you. So if you want him back, you'll cooperate."

He drew back, and Hermione stared at him, terrified and rigid still. He touched her cheek. "I call the shots here, Mudblood. This is my castle, and this is _my_ time, not yours. I don't care what place and time you come from, but I am in control, and you _will_ do as I say unless you'd rather suffer the consequences." With that, Malfoy stood and walked away, leaving Hermione alone with her paranoid thoughts.

If Malfoy knew that she was a time traveler, who else knew? Could it be that someone here had traveled with her, or was it that somehow Malfoy was communicating with someone from the future? This presented itself as an entirely new problem. Making little mistakes around the Marauders was nothing compared to the mess she was in now with Malfoy; he had direct control over her, and with just one whispered secret, he could have her whole life in shambles.

What could she do? There was no way to keep him quiet because he was definitely getting his information from a more reliable source. But no, Hermione reasoned; he had never said anything specific about who she was or where she came from. He could have some knowledge that she was a time traveler but not who she was, or who she was close to.

But then, what if Malfoy _did_ know specifics? What if he knew of Harry Potter, of the prophecy and of Voldemort's rising powers? What then?

Shivering in fear, Hermione gathered her things and left, praying to the gods above that Malfoy was in the dark and knew not an inkling of her true identity.

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Note:** so I rewrote this entire chapter and this should actually clear a lot of stuff up in the end. Thankfully.

**Please review!**


	9. Rumor Has It

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter, just my original characters.

Also, here's where the plot gets really tricky.

**Still So Close to You  
By Darkwing731**

((-Chapter Nine-))  
Rumor Has It

As quickly as February had sprung upon them, the days were ticking by, limiting Hermione's time to create an escape plan. After hours of lying in bed, staring up into the darkness, Hermione Granger realized some very troubling things about Lucius Malfoy.

He was powerful, no doubt. He had connections everywhere, it seemed, and his ability to obtain information was endless. He was also quite insidious, as he had caught her off guard by starting the rumor that they were dating. At first it just seemed obnoxious and irritating that Malfoy had started that, but then she realized something: Remus was only friends with her again because Lucius had Rose allow Remus to do so, _and_ he had encouraged the rumor that he was dating Jane Lewis because if Hermione backed out, Remus would think that she, Hermione, was a liar and would never trust her again.

Therefore, if Hermione wanted to be with Remus again, friends or more, she would have to go along with Malfoy's rumor and yield to his devilish ways.

_Or_, Hermione decided,_ I can find my own way out of here._

And that became her plan: to find her own way out of 1979. While sounding very simple, Hermione knew it would not be that way. It meant discovering _how_ she got to this time period in the first place, finding a means to reverse such magic, and also having an alternate plan should the need arise.

Naturally, Hermione began in the library. Though she knew she should start in the area of time travel, she wasn't quite sure what she would find. After about twenty minutes of browsing through dark and dusty shelves, she found a title that simply jumped out at her: _Properties of Time Travel: Spells, Charms and General Magic. _

Flipping through the pages at once, Hermione went to the Charms section, reading quickly. _Time travel_, the book said,_ is very serious magic that had been imitated and recreated throughout the history of time. While real time travel will leave marks, time traveling charms will only create memories for only the time traveler and no one else. The most commonly used time traveling charm is the Delirium Charm, in which the time traveler is thrown into a specific hallucination, or delirium, and attempts to complete a task in a pseudo-reality before being sent "home" a predetermined time—_

Hermione stopped reading there, knowing that the charms section held no answers for her. Promptly jumping back to the first section, she read up on time traveling spells: _Time travel has been present in history since the creation of magic. An anomaly among its brother and sisters, time traveling spells are simply to create, but very complicated to reverse. Jumps through time often create rips in reality, undermining all normality and most usually being quite destructive. It is nearly impossible to reverse a Time Traveling spell unless the time traveler leaves promptly the moment they have arrived, leaving only their pseudo-existence in that specific moment._

Panicked, Hermione skimmed the next few lines to look for spells that might perfectly describe her situation. Her eyes landed on one of the very first spells: _Volo Viginti._ According to the book, _volo viginti_ would do the follow: _very difficult and used very rarely, this spell will throw time travelers up to twenty years backwards. This spell cannot be reversed whatsoever, but under certain circumstances can it be ended and can the traveler return home. If the traveler is thrown to a time in which they have not yet been born, they will be returned home once they have been born. Another circumstance is—_

"September," Hermione murmured; "I go home in September. In _eight_ months."

Eight months? The thought sounded horrible and wonderful at the same time. So much could happen in eight months, so much that she couldn't predict or control or even begin to fathom. But eight months t that she _had_ a definite time to go home and was not wondering about how much longer she would be here.

Technically Hermione had found her own way out of this disastrous time period. Waiting for the time to leave, however, would be much harder than she anticipated.

_-x-x-x-_

The day was finally upon her. It was Saturday, but more importantly, it was the Hogsmeade trip she was forced to attend. That morning, she awoke with a sense of foreboding, like a raincloud that had settled atop her shoulders. Anxiety had crept into her mind the night before, and now it loomed, worse than ever.

Rolling over in bed, Hermione covered her head with the pillow, not wanting to get up. She knew for a fact that neither Remus nor Lucius Malfoy could simply prance up there and pull her out of bed, so she was content with the fact of playing sick and staying behind.

_No matter what Malfoy threatens_, Hermione thought, though her stomach seized up at the thought of his potential knowledge.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" asked a voice curiously. Hermione recognized it as Emma's as the Muggleborn lifted the pillow from her head.

"I'm sick," Hermione lied, "I'm not getting out of bed."

"I can take you down to the infirmary if you like," Emma offered, grabbing a brush from her bed stand and brushing her hair. Emma then inspected Hermione more closely. "You don't look sick to me. Are you just nervous for your date?"

"It's not a date," Hermione muttered bitterly, sticking her head beneath the pillow again.

"That's not what Malfoy's been telling everyone," Emma said matter-of-factly. "But if you're sick, you're sick. I'll go tell Remus that he should go on instead of waiting."

"Remus is waiting for me?" Hermione asked at once, head coming up immediately from the pillow.

"Yes, he said something about wanting to walk down with you to meet Malfoy and his girlfriend," Emma sighed. "But you're sick. I'll go let him know."

"No," Hermione said, sitting up; if Remus was waiting for her, and learned that she was backing out of this, Hermione was unsure of what would happen. "Just tell him to wait ten minutes. I'll get ready."

So, ten minutes later, Hermione found herself meeting Remus Lupin in the common room, biding thanks to Emma while wondering how the girl knew in the first place. Remus was dressed nicely, a scarf already tied around his neck in preparation for the cold.

"You didn't have to wait for me," Hermione said, feeling uneasy already.

"I just thought it would be nice to walk down together," Remus said with a shrug.

"Thanks, I suppose," Hermione said, tying her own scarf around her neck as they began their journey to the main foyer.

For a few minutes it was silent, and both parties were lost in their own thoughts. Finally Hermione decided to speak, though her words were tentative and careful. "I didn't want to come today."

"Because you were ill, I know," Remus concluded. _But that's not it at all,_ Hermione thought. _I didn't want to come and betray you, and betray everything by lying._

"I'm sure _Malfoy_ will appreciate you toughing it out, however," Remus added, an undeniable bitterness to his voice. "Jane, I've got to know," Remus asked her suddenly; "Why Malfoy? Why couldn't you have chosen someone else? _Anyone_ else?"

_He's jealous,_ Hermione understood. _And he's angry. Malfoy _was_ right_.

"It's complicated," Hermione said at last, thinking of Malfoy's last threat to her in the library. Did she dare defy the Slytherin and confide in Remus what she had been bursting to say all along? "I-I didn't really have a choice."

For a moment, Remus stared at her unwaveringly as if he wasn't really seeing her. "Didn't have a choice?" he repeated at last. "What is that supposed to mean, Jane?"

Hermione stopped in her tracks, taking Remus' hand into her own. He looked just as frightened as she felt, and for a moment, there was no pressure, no ominous feeling, no anxiety. Hermione felt at east knowing that she could finally confess something to him. "Malfoy knows that I—"

"Remus! Jane! Wait up!" called a voice from behind them, and like that night at the Astronomy Tower, the couple threw themselves away from each other as Emma ran down to meet them. "I forgot that I was going to meet Sirius, so I decided to catch up!"

_What inconvenient timing_, Hermione thought, glancing at Remus' dangling hand. She was just about to tell him everything, how Malfoy had threatened her, how he had known that Hermione was in love with Remus, how everything was complicated and terrible.

But, once again, Emma had thrown a wrench into her plans.

"We're supposed to go on a date too," Emma said happily as the three began to walk again. "I'd almost want to say, let's triple date, but I'm not particularly fond of Malfoy the way you are, Jane," Emma said, giving her a snide look.

Hermione could feel Remus staring at her, waiting for an answer, waiting for Hermione to reveal what she had almost revealed before. "I'm _not_ fond of Malfoy."

"What a strange thing to say about your boyfriend," Emma said, looking to Remus for support.

"Strange," Remus agreed tentatively.

"He's _not_ my boyfriend," Hermione growled.

"I mean I definitely understand how this whole thing works out," Emma said as if she hadn't heard Hermione at all. "The whole opposites attract and that love hate tension thing. It's great. Works out really well, from what I hear."

"It's _not_ working out really well at all, actually," Hermione said, bristling. "Malfoy's spouting hogwash, I'm _not_ dating him."

"Well why would he lie about dating you?" Emma said, very seriously; Hermione noticed how Remus was studying her, trying to catch any misgiving he could.

"I-I don't know," Hermione said, faltering under Remus' gaze. "But—"

"Because I know he's a pureblood and he's got a sort of bigoted background, but he's made an exception for you. That's what the word is, anyway," Emma said knowingly.

"He _hasn't_ made an exception!" Hermione insisted desperately.

"But Emma's right, Jane," Remus said, his voice sharp. "Why would Malfoy lie about dating a Muggleborn if he wasn't actually dating you?"

"He just is, you've got to believe me," Hermione pleaded, on the verge of panic once again. Now she was certain that Remus did not believe her, that he doubted her for good. Had Malfoy planned this too? How she would set herself up for this trap?

"Sirius!" Emma said happily as they reached the staircase. Malfoy and Rose were by the bottom as well, separate from Sirius.

Hermione had stopped moving altogether, staring at the werewolf's retreating back as if it were a boat passing by her deserted island. She watched as Rose and Remus greeted each other warmly. Malfoy, on the other hand, had his eyes pinned on Hermione, a ghost of a smirk on his face. Remus and Rose turned to stare at her as well, and Hermione felt sickened as Malfoy held out a hand, beckoning her.

It was not Malfoy that made her move, but Remus; his icy glare was enough to make her stomach plummet, and was enough to put her mind into overdrive in order to figure out this mess. One way or another, Hermione would have to fix this. There were only two things she wanted, and without a massive effort on her part, Remus would slip away forever.

On the walk to Hogsmeade, Hermione's hands were cold and clammy despite her warm gloves. Her arm was draped grudgingly in Malfoy's, and her mouth was pressed shut. Rose and Remus chatted together about something, their hands intertwined and their steps simultaneous as they laughed.

"Don't look so miserable," Lucius told her, quietly enough so only she could hear. "Any girlfriend of mine should look more than ecstatic to be in my presence."

"You're a monster," Hermione found herself saying, her body shaking as much as her voice. She tried to jerk her arm away from him, but his hand seized her possessively.

"And you're scared," Lucius purred, tightening his grip on her arm.

"You can't blackmail me into this without consequence," Hermione warned. "Dumbledore will expel you—"

"Dumbledore is not part of my plan, Mudblood," he laughed. "Do you actually think you could go running off to him?"

"Yes, I do, and I intend to!" Hermione said angrily. "I will not put up with this—"

"Do you remember what I said in the library?" Lucius interjected, his voice a deadly soft. "Don't forget what you have at stake."

"You can't hurt Remus," Hermione hissed, "Rose would never do it."

"Rose is not my only weapon," Malfoy informed her, smiling again. "I have eyes everywhere. I have ears everywhere, and I have people to do my dirty work. Even Gryffindors."

Hermione was about to accuse him of lying, to deny this claim with a snarl when she remembered Peter Pettigrew. In just a year or so he would betray Lily and James to save himself from being killed. Was there a possibility he had already betrayed another friend?

"Yes, it's true," Lucius drawled. "And like I said, if you want Lupin back, you'll abide by _my_ rules."

"I won't," Hermione choked out.

"No?" Lucius asked her, feigning curiosity. "I can destroy Lupin. And I can destroy you. There will be no hope for you, no hope for him. You will have nothing. Do you understand me?"

She felt sickened, but could think of no way to truly fight him. There was no solid evidence against him even if she did go to Dumbledore. What could the headmaster do for her? Anything would be enough, so long as Remus was safe and Hermione's secret was never revealed. But what was she to do until then? Play along with Malfoy's twisted lie? When could she escape him long enough to get to Dumbledore?

The thought troubled her all the way to Hogsmeade as she desperately tried to think of a way out of it. Perhaps this was all a farce, Hermione thought desperately; maybe in front of others, Lucius would not be so threatening. What if Hermione put him on the spot? Perhaps Malfoy would be so menacing that Remus would have to belief her previous claim, that she didn't have a choice. Or Malfoy might act his part brilliantly, making Hermione seem like a liar.

Was it a chance she could take? Or should she lie low and plan for another excursion to ruin his word?

As they walked on and closer to Hogsmeade, more couples appeared on the path with them; Hermione realized that people were giving her strange looks, like she was a Muggle that had wandered into the magical world. There was no question that it was because of Lucius, and a swift glance at his smirk confirmed his suspicions. How far had these rumors gone? Who had heard them? And what exactly had they heard?

Without warning, Hermione pulled her arm free from Lucius, shaken to her very core. "I'm not feeling well, I'm really just going to go back," she said loudly, making sure to catch Remus' attention, who turned around just as Malfoy's face contorted in anger.

To her relief, she saw that Remus' eyes went immediately to Malfoy, almost as if he wanted to assure himself that Malfoy was playing the proper part of the boyfriend. Lucius controlled himself well, and only Hermione could see the anger growing in his eyes.

"Why don't you take her back, Lucius?" Rose suggested, much to Hermione's dismay. "We wouldn't want you to be in an awkward place with Remus and me."

"I'm fine, actually, I can walk myself back," Hermione said at once before Malfoy could answer.

"I insist," Malfoy said, courteously stepping forward just as Hermione stepped back.

"No, thank you," she repeated firmly, knowing that Remus was watching the two very closely.

The thought to run struck Hermione as desperate and extreme, but perhaps very useful. If she turned and fled, Malfoy would be forced to chase her down, which would look suspicious, or would be forced to walk at a leisurely pace after her, allowing Hermione time to get back to the safety of her room without interference.

"I have a better idea," Remus offered, his voice cold, "Why don't you just get medicine in Hogsmeade and continue on?" His face was stony, and she felt nothing but panic. "We're almost there anyway."

"What an idea," Malfoy agreed, approaching her with readied hands. Hermione felt like a wild animal, cornered, and he the poacher, ready to trap her. Now more than ever she wanted to run.

But Remus glared at her, kept her still with his angry eyes. There was no escaping his judgment either way, she knew then; always would she yield to Remus Lupin, regardless of what he thought of her. There was nothing that could convince her otherwise.

Malfoy's hands clamped down on her shoulders. "I'll buy you something in town, darling," he purred, sending a shiver down her spine. "Let's go."

Remus and Rose turned around again, huddled closer in what Hermione presumed to be a dissecting talk about her strange actions. Malfoy, on the other hand, leashed her close with a tight arm around her shoulders.

"You should've run away while you had the chance," he hissed in her ear. "Don't try and play these games with me. I've got more than enough people to keep you in line. All you've got is Lupin, and he hates you already."

"I'm not going through with this," Hermione spat, trying to wrench herself out of his grasp. "I'm not your puppet—I'll scream if I have to—"

"I would think twice about that," Malfoy warned, locking his arm now around her neck, making Hermione gasp. "And besides," he said, smirking again, "How will you ever explain to your werewolf that your real name is _Hermione Granger_?"

Her gasp was loud enough to make Remus and Rose turn around quickly, but Lucius was clever enough to have pulled her into what looked like a passionate kiss, one in which Hermione's arms were helplessly pinned between them. The moment Remus turned around again, Lucius released her mouth but pulled her in tight as to keep from escaping.

Somehow, Hermione already knew all along that she was not safe. She knew that Malfoy knew her true identity, and she knew that he would use that to torture her, to bend her to his unyielding and demented will until he was satisfied. Until he had gotten everything he wanted.

"I know more than you would ever want me to know," he whispered, grinning against her neck as he planted a kiss there, against the skin freckled with goose bumps, blood coursing beneath in fear. She felt as if the span of her skin, the encasing of her vitality, was melting away, exposing her, wounding her. She had no protection anymore. Lucius grinned as tears began to well up in her eyes. Though she had tried to prepare herself, nothing could have prepared her for this.

"So, Granger, why don't we come to a finalized consensus? If you do anything out of line, any _little_ thing that displeases me, I can do one of two things, your choice. I can start another rumor about you, one that _will_ be heard by Lupin, or I can have your beloved werewolf injured."

"No," Hermione croaked, eyes wide with fear; even if Remus was the cause of this mess, she never wanted harm to come to him.

Malfoy chuckled and tapped her nose. "Then do as I say. Always. Do you understand me?"

But what did that mean? What did concealing her identity, her integrity, and protecting Remus mean, exactly? What did Malfoy want from her? Could she possibly agree but lie? Could she play his games back on him?

There was a terrifyingly large amount of things that could go wrong, and that would go wrong. There was no guarantee that Hermione could lie and protect herself well enough to deal with Malfoy's twisted desires, but she was willing to do whatever she had to in order to keep things smooth.

_In order to be with Remus, somehow…_

Hermione realized that she was losing sight of what she was actually trying to obtain: the boy himself. But when it came to his safety and his happiness, then of course she would preserve that first. But at what cost? At the cost of her own sanity and safety?

It didn't matter that Malfoy had this over her, however; Hermione would go to Dumbledore, whether she had to sneak up to the Headmaster's office in the middle of the night and bang on his door until he woke. Malfoy could not do this to her; Hermione would outsmart him, no matter what.

"Yes," Hermione whispered, knowing fully that she was resigning herself over to a miserable existence until this was straightened out. Somehow, she vowed, she would lash out and get back at Malfoy for this.

_I am Hermione Granger. I can do anything._

"Good," Lucius said with a smile that did not reach his eyes. "Now turn around and walk with me into town. Make this convincing."

Hermione did turn around, but she was quivering with anger as they walked behind Remus and Rose; no sort of blackmail, no threat, nothing could force her to be convincing. Hermione Granger did not yield to the will of others; _they_ yielded to her.

There was a frosty silence between the Muggleborn and the pureblood until both couples had finally reached the Three Broomsticks. They selected a booth, and while both boys went off to fetch their respective dates butterbeer, Hermione glared at the table, thinking of ways she could thwart Malfoy's plan.

"You know, Remus has got a lot to say about you dating Lucius and all," Rose said, her voice silky smooth but full of derision. Hermione did not want to look up, but found herself staring at Rose, wanting nothing more than to strangle the girl.

"So what," Hermione said, feeling bitter. "He's dating you, you're a Slytherin."

"I'm not talking about Houses," Rose replied, a taunting smile touching her lips. "Remus thinks you're a hypocrite. And a liar," she informed Hermione, the words rolling off of her tongue as if she had been aching to say them. "It's just _so hard_ to deal with all the rumors he's been hearing. His dear old friend turned into a floozy."

"I'm _not_—" Hermione choked, feeling rage boiling up within her. "I don't even _like_ Malfoy, he's a vile excuse for a human—"

"Might want to watch what you say, Mudblood," Rose purred as Remus and Malfoy returned; "Never know _who_ might hear you."

As Lucius Malfoy pushed a butterbeer into her hands, Hermione realized with a jolt of fear that Rose was Malfoy's number one weapon, an immeasurable source of power, an undeniable threat. Rose was the person Remus trusted most, and was the source that was intentionally manipulating everything he knew about Jane Lewis.

_To take down Malfoy, I've got to take down Rose Sanders_, Hermione pieced together quickly; _but that means I have to remove Remus from her grasp first._ And then she understood, all at once, like a great blanket of cold had settled over her, that she would not separate the couple by herself. She needed outside help.

But enlisting others meant further exposing herself, and that in itself was a fatal risk to take. What if no one believed her? What if the rumors, encouraged by Remus' angry words, had gotten to everyone else that could potentially be an ally?

_What if I'm already alone?_

The rest of the time on the Valentine's Days date was spent in stormy silence as Hermione tried to assess her situation and determine any sort of solution. Aware only vaguely of Malfoy's hand on her knee or the arm around her shoulders, she tried desperately to close them all out.

But one thought would not leave her mind: how did Malfoy know? What was his source of information? She was desperate to find out just so that she could try and fuse it shut, so that nothing could seep out again. But getting that close, getting in that deep, could be very dangerous. She was very uncertain of what she was getting into, though she was aware Malfoy would be analyzing her every step.

Hermione needed someone else, but for exactly what she was unsure of. To separate the couple? Or just to keep Malfoy off her back? What did Hermione Granger really want right now? Was keeping her reputation more important than her potential safety?

_Of course not_… Hermione thought; _But if I'm alone I don't know what I'll do. If my reputation is that bad, I won't have anyone to fall back on. And Malfoy would be waiting for me to break down._

It was an inescapable circle, a trap she could not get out of. Dumbledore would have to be informed the moment she returned to the castle, because if this went on any longer…

_Dumbledore can't follow me around though_, Hermione thought nervously; _and there's no telling what Malfoy will do_.

Then Hermione remembered James Potter; it was a surge of hope that ran through her, like the beacon of light high atop a lighthouse. James had promised to do something to keep Malfoy off her back. What would it be? Would it be powerful enough? Would he be willing to do it more than once if Hermione asked him?

But what if James had heard the rumors? Would he trust Hermione? Would he do this favor for her? What if James didn't believe her and Hermione was truly stuck defending herself, alone?

There was no telling what James would do, or wouldn't do. And there was no telling what anyone else knew. As soon as she was able, Hermione would have to seek out each of her potential allies individually and explain best she could what was going on, somehow without exposing her true identity.

But Malfoy had said there were Gryffindors that are working for were they? Were they close to Hermione? Was it Peter, or was it someone else? Hermione only knew for sure she could trust James, Lily, and Sirius, because in the future they had always remained true. Everyone else she had to remain suspicious about, not knowing what damage they could do.

"Well how was it?"

The voice startled Hermione out of her thoughts; blinking, she realized Rose was staring at her, a smirk splayed on her lips. Remus looked on, his face just as stony as before.

"What?" Hermione bleated, feeling trapped once more.

"I said my cousin goes to Liverpool Witches Academy," Rose repeated, exchanging a look with Lucius. "How was it for you?"

Liverpool Witches Academy? Hermione knew nothing of the place, only knew the mere fact that it existed; how foolish it was of her not to have investigated the school before now.

"Fine," Hermione supplied after a terse moment. "I-I enjoyed it."

"My cousin doesn't very much like their program selection. Very small." Rose was smiling in a devilish way, as if she was fully aware that Hermione knew nothing of the school. Clearly, she was setting the Muggleborn up for a trap, to make her look bad in front of Remus.

"It was all right," Hermione said, thinking rapidly for a way out. Feeling around for something to hold onto, her hand brushed up against her wand protruding from her cloak pocket. As quickly as she could, she shoved it up the leg of her trousers, hoping it would stay. Then, she stood abruptly; "Excuse me, I have to use the loo."

Though she expected Malfoy to put up some sort of fight, he moved without a word to let her through. Moving quickly to the bathroom, she felt a weight lift from her chest, as if it had been pressing down the whole time. The people and colors of the Three Broomstick whirled around her in a blur of color, and she felt dizzy as she finally made it into the private room. Clamping her fingers down on the side of the sink, Hermione's mind raced to create a solution.

_There's a window in here. I could jump ship here without my cloak and run back to the castle._

The worst that could happen would be the catching of a cold, perhaps pneumonia if she was outside long enough. But the infirmary could cure that in seconds, and at the moment, Hermione was willing to risk anything to escape this situation.

Withdrawing her wand from her trousers, Hermione locked the door and headed for the back stall, examining the window. It was small and slim, but Hermione was not a large person and might be able to fit through it. Stepping up onto the toilet, Hermione pushed open the window and began to pull herself upwards.

Under normal circumstances, she would have been too weak to support her own body weight, but her heart was hammering with fear at the thought of being caught. Adrenaline surged through her veins and she knew that fitting through this window was not an impossible feat.

Her head and shoulders passed through without a problem; looking down, she could see that the ground was about five feet below her and emptied into an alleyway that led into the main street. Hoping she wouldn't break her neck, Hermione squeezed the rest of her body through the metal frame, her hips needing the most attention as she squirmed for freedom. Then, she ungracefully fell out into the snow, parts of her body throbbing in pain from the window.

Knowing that she would only have a matter of minutes before Rose went into the loo to check on her, Hermione began to run as fast as she could, ignoring the strange looks from all the people in the street. Very soon she became aware of just how cold it was, and how hard it was snowing. She was freezing, her fingers and nose quickly becoming numb, her feet blocks of ice.

She wanted to stop and ask someone for a scarf or perhaps even some gloves, but the thought of Malfoy kept her going. Naturally Hermione was frightened for Remus, knowing that jumping out the window of the Three Broomsticks was going to anger Lucius; Remus would certainly not be killed (that she knew for a fact), so she soothed her guilty heart with the promise that no matter what happened, he would survive.

It had been maybe twenty minutes by the time she finally arrived at the castle doors. Panting and sweaty, but shivering in cold, she stepped inside the main foyer and immediately began to head towards the headmaster's office. Nothing could stop her now.

Reaching the stone gargoyle, Hermione racked her brain for passwords. "L-L-Lemon drops… no? Pumpkin p-pasties? Chocolate frogs?" The gargoyle sprang to life, banishing some of the anxiety that had started to seep into her veins.

Then, sudden footsteps made Hermione turn quickly; there in the corridor stood a blonde girl that looked vaguely familiar; she was pretty but looked as if she smelled something unpleasant. She was also a Slytherin, and was slowly withdrawing her wand with not so nice intentions.

Hermione jumped onto the stairs just in time to avoid the hex the Slytherin had shot at her. Pressing up against the gargoyle, Hermione watched as the girl with narrowed eyes slinked away, the gargoyle protecting Hermione from harm.

Though her heart was pounding in her throat from the abrupt attack, Hermione felt angry; who was this girl and what exactly was she doing attacking Hermione? The answer became obvious within moments, however; clearly Malfoy had most of his house on the lookout for Hermione Granger if he wasn't around.

As the revolving steps slowly came to a halt, Hermione banged hurriedly on Dumbledore's door. The headmaster's voice of welcome was like warmth spreading over her whole body; for the first time in a while, she felt complete relief.

"Hello," Hermione greeted as she stepped in.

"Hello Miss Granger," Dumbledore returned, his blue eyes taking her whole body in. "Have you been swimming?"

"No, actually," Hermione said, releasing a chuckle bereft of humor. "I've just come from Hogsmeade, you see. I didn't have a coat."

"Well let me give you something to warm you up," Dumbledore offered, standing and going to a large cabinet adjacent to his desk. From it he withdrew a steaming cup that Hermione accepted without question, its contents warming up her very core. Additionally, he waved his wand once over her body and she felt all the moisture leave at once. "Now, it seems to me that there is some explanation on your part. You are very bright, Miss Granger, so there must be a good reason why you've come all the way from Hogsmeade without a coat in the middle of February."

"It's a long story," Hermione said, "But it is necessary that you know, Headmaster." Hermione struggled for a moment on how to begin, what details should be included and what details should be left out. "When I arrived in 1979 I took to a certain group of friends. James, Sirius, Remus, Lily, Emma, Peter… they were all very kind to me. I also found myself taking a fancy to Remus Lupin," Hermione admitted, fighting the blush on her cheeks. "But Remus was part of my future, and I did not want to complicate anything, so I lied to him and to my friends and said I did not fancy him."

She paused here, sipping her hot drink, trying to quell thoughts of fear and anxiety; Malfoy was probably on his way back from Hogsmeade now, he and Rose feeding lies to Remus about what Jane Lewis might be up to.

"During all of this, Lucius Malfoy made it clear that _he_ had taken a liking to me," Hermione said, her voice small and full of shame. She hated Malfoy with every fiber of her being, and knowing that he was controlling her even in his absence sickened Hermione. "I, naturally, did not return the feelings. But Malfoy would not be turned down so easily. He began to spread rumors that we were dating, and everyone believed him."

"What a curious thing," Dumbledore murmured, his blue eyes caught in some distant thought. Hermione knew that he was piecing the information together just as she had.

"So then Remus began to date a Slytherin girl and also believed that I was dating Malfoy… No one will believe me when I say that I'm not dating Lucius. I didn't know what to do." Hermione gulped down the steaming hot drink and was glad for the way it scalded her throat, anything to keep her mind off of the information she was about to explain.

"Today I was forced into going on a double date for Valentine's Day," Hermione started. "I tried to tell Malfoy to leave me alone and that I wouldn't oblige with his rumors, but—" She broke off and was stunned for a moment at how turbulent this had become, how twisted and chaotic. There was no easy way out, there was no door she could close to end this. It was so complicated, so precarious.

"But?" Dumbledore asked.

"But Malfoy threatened to hurt Remus. And—and he knows who I am. _He knows I'm Hermione Granger,_" she moaned at last, burying her face in her hands. How could Albus Dumbledore reverse this situation? What could the headmaster possibly do to keep her safe?

"And he said that anything that I try to do to protect myself, or to flush him out, he'll get me back in some way." Hermione paused, trying to ignore the fear that was not gripping her windpipe; swallowing back the lump in her throat, she added, "He promises to get revenge on me for even coming to you, Headmaster."

"I'm glad that you came regardless of his threat," Dumbledore said, with a very grave look in his eyes. "I will not allow my students to be bullied on such a level."

"So I'm not sure what I can do, or what you can do," Hermione said, hating how the mere thought of Lucius brought shadows of doubt over the Headmaster's power; "But I need something, anything. Any kind of protection. And honestly I'm frightened for Remus Lupin as well," she confessed. "More concerned for him than for myself. Malfoy is very aware that I care for him, and he's more than willing to injure Remus to get to me."

"Mr. Malfoy is far more clever than anyone gives him credit for," Dumbledore mused aloud. "And I think I am underestimating a number of students at my castle. It is unhealthy for someone his age to already wield this sort of control on the people around him, but even more so if what he is doing is dangerous."

"I don't know how he figured out who I truly am, Professor," Hermione said, "but I think Rose Sanders might know as well. I think they are both relying on a single source of information but I don't know whom or where or _how_…. _How_ can anyone know this?" Hermione cried, exasperated. "And why does it matter so much?"

But Hermione did not need Albus Dumbledore to answer that question for her. The Muggleborn knew that if this source of information knew who Hermione Granger was, then they would certainly know who Harry Potter was. And that was something Hermione would rather die than reveal, because protecting Harry at all costs was the ultimate goal of their friendship, she knew.

"Hogwarts holds many secrets, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said, his tone more grim than mysterious, "Some secrets even I am not aware of. I knew of your time travelling only because I was forewarned in the past, but it would not surprise me if the castle brought another along with you."

"So you're saying that someone was thrown into the past alongside me?" Hermione repeated back, feeling overwhelmed by confusion as Dumbledore nodded. "They would know everything about our time together. But they would not be powerful enough _here_ to make a difference with their information…"

Rapidly Hermione's mind began to piece together this suspect clue: if someone had travelled with her, they would have to be against everything that Hermione stood for, and obviously were evil enough to be in league with Malfoy… _Maybe even Voldemort_, Hermione mused. Whom did she know from her own era that fit the criteria?

"There are so many," Hermione murmured at last. "So many people could have travelled back with me. But so far, I haven't recognized any faces from my own time."

"Any secret Hogwarts has is not easily revealed, I'm afraid," Dumbledore said. "But I can assure you that it will not stay hidden for much longer. Travelers eventually double cross themselves by accident, perhaps even by simply existing."

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.

"I mean that sometimes, time travelers do not go far back enough in time to avoid being born again, and sometimes cross paths with their adult selves before they realize what they're doing," Dumbledore explained. "You will luckily not do that, because your birth year is not until September."

"Which is when I'll go home, I think," Hermione said quickly. "I also did some research in the library, and think I might have been subject to the _volo viginiti_ spell. I'll leave this time period when I am born in September…"

"Seven months," Dumbledore said quietly. "A lot can happen in seven months, Miss Granger."

"I know," Hermione agreed uncertainly. "But they don't necessarily have to be bad things. I need your help, Headmaster. Any sort of protection you can give me, or if you could just, well, expel Lucius Malfoy…"

The old wizard closed his blue eyes, his chin perched on his finger tips. Hermione had the sense that he was deep in thought, almost buried under the maze of his own mind. When he spoke, his eyes remained shut. "Unfortunately, without proper and indisputable evidence, there is nothing I can do to reprimand Mr. Malfoy. When you have physical evidence, our countless witnesses of some abuse or wrongdoing, come to me immediately."

"But you don't understand," Hermione said at once, feeling a thundercloud hover over her heart; "Malfoy won't let me out of his sight. I can't come to you after he's done something." Hermione's heart was racing in panic; did Dumbledore truly believe that she could watch some evildoing and then run and tattle without restraint or consequence? "Professor I had to climb out of a lavatory window to get back here! Can't you do something right away?"

"I'm afraid not," he replied quietly, his eyes open now. He examined Hermione in her terror and exasperation. "I do not doubt what you tell me, but accusations must have proper support."

Hermione tried to suck in a breath to calm herself down, but it was more of a broken gasp; she was terrified to leave his office, frustrated that the Headmaster seemed so powerless, and loathing Malfoy for having this much power.

"I'm afraid for myself," Hermione confessed. "And I am afraid for Remus. I don't know what to do."

"I will escort you back to Gryffindor Tower, if you wish," Dumbledore offered, to which Hermione nodded; "And I can advise to never be alone unless you absolutely must."

"I don't have many friends, and I don't know who I can surely trust, but I'll try my best."

But even as Dumbledore walked with her back to Gryffindor Tower, Hermione knew somewhere deep inside her that her best would not be good enough; somewhere, somehow, Malfoy would find a way to catch her off guard.

Keeping careful not to keep eye contact with anyone in the hallway, Hermione was relieved when they finally reached the safety of the Gryffindor portrait.

"I expect to hear from you more often if the situation develops," Dumbledore said, giving her a pointed look as Gryffindors swarmed around them.

"Yes, sir," Hermione agreed; "Thank you for walking with me."

With a gracious nod, Dumbledore turned and left her there, disappearing among the students. Hermione went into the common room at once, a heavy weight lifting from her shoulders when she saw that Remus had not yet returned. Perhaps they had all stayed, she hoped, and she would have the rest of the afternoon free.

Snuggling up in her bed, Hermione picked out a book and tried to keep relaxed as she read in leisure, letting the comfort of the text wrap around her. In the book there was nothing to make her anxious, nothing to worry her, no predators to trap her, no men to make her heart race. It was another world that she could lose herself in without having to get involved.

As the shadows crept down the wall, and the hours passed by, the common room began to get noisier, and Hermione was tempted to go downstairs to see if Remus was there. During her reading it became clear that she needed to explain herself, to try and win him over before it was too late. Then she could explain what truly happened that day, how Malfoy had manipulated them all, that Rose was a terrible choice for a girlfriend—

Hermione was halfway down the stairs before she even realized it, so determined she was to make a difference in the complicated relationship with Remus. As she stepped into the common room, the chatter stopped instantly, and Hermione found not only Lily and Emma staring at her silently, but countless others as well. Remus Lupin, however, was not among them.

The air was thick with tension, and although she was inexplicably nervous, Hermione asked timidly, "Where's Remus?"

"Infirmary," Emma said flatly.

Blood rushed from her face. "What happened?" Hermione cried, a horrible feeling swooping over her as she pictured all the things Malfoy could've gotten away with.

"Feel down a flight of stairs," Emma said, her eyes narrowed. "Broke his collarbone and his forearm."

_Nothing terribly fatal_, Hermione realized, her drumming heart calming at once. Should she wait here until he was healed, or go and apologize now?

"Why'd you do it?" Emma blurted, now looking furious. Lily and the others stared back, their faces filled with anger that matched Emma's.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Hermione said in a small voice, knowing that somehow she was at the center of some terrible event.

"We're all banned from The Three Broomsticks now!" Lily broke out angrily. "You had no reason to do that!"

"I didn't!" Hermione cried, shaking now; all she wanted was to push past them and go to Remus and beg for his forgiveness and for him to listen. In fact, she made movements to do just that, but Emma stepped in front of her, blocking her path.

"Remus is out cold," Emma snarled, knowing Hermione's intentions, "And why the hell would he forgive you anyway? After what you did? He told me and Sirius about it."

"It's not what you think!" Hermione pleaded, tears now springing to her eyes. "Please believe me! I'm not lying!"

"Just like you're not lying about Malfoy?" Emma asked quietly, her eyes pinned to Hermione's.

Then, somehow, the Muggleborn knew that _Emma_ was Malfoy's tool, that she was subtly planting these seeds of doubt in everyone's mind. Hermione's mind raced over the last day and how Emma was conveniently there to keep any progress from being made with Remus, and to spread the story of Hermione's apparent "crime". There was no other explanation, not when Peter wasn't around, not when Rose was by Remus' side.

_And she would be there with him in the Infirmary as well_, Hermione knew; _I'd never get a moment alone with him._

Eyes sweeping the room, Hermione watched as whispers carried between friends, words that were lies seeping into the minds of her fellow Gryffindors, forever ruining any trust she could place in them. Having no idea what she did at the Three Broomsticks, and knowing that she could never win over Remus now without some sort of miracle, Hermione slowly turned around and retreated back into the Girls' dormitory, hating their eyes on her back, and hating herself for getting in this deep.

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Note:** well I hope y'all enjoyed that. I think I'll be editing and deleting some chapters for lack of their necessity, because this chapter speeds the plot along quite nicely!

Anyway, please review!


	10. Mistaken Implications

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter. Just the plot, and the couple of OC's you've seen so far.

So read on!

**Still So Close to You  
By Darkwing731**

((--Chapter Eleven--))  
Mistaken Implications  


-

_His smile was broad when he asked, "Malfoy must've really done something to earn this."_

_The corners of her lips fell suddenly, and she sunk back into the couch. She closed her eyes for a single moment, recalling Malfoy's mouth on her neck and her desperate attempts to get away. She opened her eyes, unusually dim and looked at James._

_"Yeah, he really did."_

Hermione wasn't really sure what she was feeling at the moment, because Charms had just ended, and everyone was filing out of the classroom, but she was left behind. Her heart was hammering, and she was hurriedly shoving her charms notes messily into her book bag and sprinting out of the room to keep up with the crowd.

This would never have happened if Lucius was in her class.

The disgust and dislike and confusion of his intents had been replaced in an instant with a sort of fearful loathing. She hated him now—there was no doubt about that—but she was scared out of her mind at the thought of being alone with him.

The stress that she was under now was a lot worse; she had just been informed that she was tutoring Remus once a _week_, not once a month, which rather upset her. However, during the previous meeting with Hull, the Potions Master never actually told her a schedule for them to meet.

And so, now it was every Monday at seven in the Potions room. Or, if it was the theory he was having trouble in, they went to the library.

Still, this was cause for trouble. The tension of the thought of her and Remus together, without interruption, _unsupervised_, was unbearable. Not that he would pounce on her, but because there would most likely be an exchange of words between them that would leave her tearing up afterwards.

Not that he ever did that on purpose, of course, but it still hurt her, after all.

After Valentine's Day, it seemed that her motives and determination had been clarified, for her main focus was finding a way to get back home. She needed out of this situation, for there was already so much at stake, and so many mistakes had been made. She couldn't afford to trip again, because she knew very well that Lucius would see it, and something would happen. Something terrible.

So, besides getting home again, she studied like hell, and tried to think of ways to keep the Malfoy away from her. She had already expressed this need to James, who assured Hermione that something good would happen in her favor, and the scheming Machiavellian worm named Malfoy would be cast out of her life for good.

All she had left to do was figure out the actual dilemma she had with Remus; she was so confused when it came to him that she didn't know what to attempt next. She didn't particularly like letting things happen naturally, because _that_ would certainly lead to a disaster.

Currently, it was Monday again, a week after speaking to James about the major prank, and the second Potions tutoring session with Remus. She had to admit, she was quite nervous about it, both being alone with him and nearing the dungeons. Perhaps she could engage Remus in conversation or—or just ask if she could accompany him down there, or the other way around, it didn't really matter.

She had dinner to face before this awful dilemma, so she made it a point to remember to solve the problem while eating.

All students filed into the great hall in a noisy bunch, laughing, gossiping and lively. Hermione, quiet and observing, stuck in the thick of the throng to keep from being pulled into an abandoned area, and if that happened to be an attempt of Lucius, she would have many witnesses, and the chances of not being saved were very small.

Gryffindors sorted into their friends and groups and cliques, and Hermione slid down to an empty part on the bench. Laughter echoed from behind her, laughter she had come to know very well these past two months, and James and Sirius were by her in an instant.

After piling food directly from the platter and into his mouth, Sirius opened his mouth and started talking to her, reminding her forcibly of Ron at dinnertime. She ignored the nostalgic pang in her chest and quirked an eyebrow.

"Chew and swallow, Sirius," she said lightly, the corners of her mouth lifting. He grinned, showing the contents of his mouth again before he miraculously swallowed the mass of food.

"As I was _saying_," Sirius started. He and James shared a grin; "Would you like to know about our little plan, so far?"

"What?" Hermione asked, and looked over to James.

"You said you wanted something bad to happen to Blondie over there, didn't you?" James asked, jerking his head towards the Slytherin table. She glanced nervously over there herself, and saw to her relief that Lucius was writing something, most likely homework, and paying no attention to her at all.

"Yes, I did," Hermione said. "Do I dare ask what this prank will be?"

The mischievous gleam in the boys' eyes was unnerving, but excited her. If they could get Lucius to back down and stay down… that would be perfect.

"Well, if we told you, I don't think you would understand how badly this would affect his ego, or just himself. See, as a _female_, you wouldn't understand the missing _part_ of him and how badly that'll kill his _reputation_."

"You're right, I don't want to know. Just tell me when you've started it and when it'll be over, or whatever. I just… just hurry it up, alright?" she asked in a small voice. Sirius nodded happily and stuffed his face with food again, but Hermione saw the protective shadow in James' eyes.

She shook her head, and turned away before James could ask. "Where's Lily and Emma?" she questioned suddenly, noting the absence of the two females.

"Dunno," the boys echoed together.

"And Remus?" she asked, her heart skipping a little at the sound of his name on her tongue.

"Dunno."

"And _Peter_?"

The boys looked at each other. "Hey, where _is_ Peter? I haven't seen him since he skipped Charms."

"You know, he really shouldn't do that," Hermione started, raking her eyes over the great hall for his little mousy head. "It's very—" but she stopped suddenly, and her face slowly twisted into confused observation.

At the Slytherin table, Lucius was talking to Rose (who had her arm linked with his, Hermione noticed). He was also writing down something, and talking to someone across the table, whose hair was mousy brown and his figure round;_ Peter Pettigrew._

Peter shook his head, took the quill from Lucius and started writing something at a quick pace, then pointing at the paper and tracing something. Lucius nodded, said something to Rose, and in a single moment where Hermione knew that it would happen, he looked at Hermione stationed across the hall.

Hermione was still, and Lucius looked surprised to see her watching. His eyes narrowed, after a moment, and he mouthed something to Peter, who spun in his seat and looked to Hermione with an expression of utmost shock and fear. He ducked out her vision, and gathering up his hood, pushed out of his seat and darted out of the hall.

"Jane? Jane?" A hand was waving in front of her face. She blinked, breaking the eye contact with Lucius who had comprehension dawning on his face and looked to Sirius. "Are your lights on up there, or what?" Sirius asked, smiling at his own joke.

"I knew," she breathed to herself, ignoring both Sirius' and James' inquiring glances. "I knew, and I didn't do anything. And now, now he's dealing out plans… _God_," Hermione moaned, and pushed herself up from the table and fleeing from the hall without looking behind her. She had to put a stop to Peter's betrayal while she could, because maybe…

What would it do? Save Lily and James? Stop Voldemort? Save the fate that Sirius met, and save Harry from his miserable life?

She didn't stop to think about the consequences, because her mind was screaming at her to put a stop to this and demand Peter to let her know what the hell he thought he was doing.

Sirius and James looked at each other before shrugging. They resumed eating, but James still had Jane on his mind, questioning her words. They had not seen what she was so shocked about, but he knew it was at the Slytherin table.

Upon thinking that, he looked up and skimmed the house to see if there was anything suspicious. What he did see was not Peter, but Lucius Malfoy with Rose Sanders at his arm. They were close, very close, and in a second the Malfoy gave her a pat on the cheek and hurriedly left the table and exited the great hall, leaving a forlorn looking Rose behind.

It was then that James remembered that Rose was Remus' _girlfriend_. And then, a second later, he remembered that Jane was having problems with Lucius, and having already left, the Malfoy must've followed her.

Without saying anything to Sirius, James got up and sprinted out of the hall, wanting to find Jane before Lucius did and ask her what the hell had been going on.

Sirius watched his friend leave, and a confused expression spread across his face. After a moment, he lifted his arms and sniffed his underarms, and with a satisfied look, lowered them and gave a little shrug before resuming to his meal.

_-x-x-x-_

"Jane!" James yelled, catching up with her at last. She was at the start of the seventh floor, and Gryffindor tower was not far away. She spun on her heel and turned to him, the scared look draining from her face immediately.

He stumbled to her, panting, and grabbed her shoulder to keep from falling over.

"Can't—breathe—" he wheezed, and started coughing spasmodically. After a minute, he took a deep breath and started talking. "I don't know what the hell you saw that made you leave, but I think I saw something you might've too."

"What?" she asked cautiously.

"Happen to see who was hanging off of Malfoy?" he asked with a sarcastically happy expression.

"Remus won't believe that his girlfriend is cheating on him, James. I _know_ he won't," she said sadly.

"Whatever. If I can get Sirius _and_ Peter to see them together, I'll have backup," he explained. "He wouldn't believe you." She raised her eyebrows at him. "Not that I mean that offensively, but—"

"He would think I was just jealous and trying to make him break it off with Rose." _Which I wish he would_, Hermione thought miserably.

"Exactly. This is why I need Sirius and Peter." Hermione's face darkened at the name of said future Death Eater.

James noticed this. "What? What's wrong with Peter?" he asked immediately. He knew that Jane had no problem with Sirius, but she hadn't really interacted with Peter so much.

Instead of saying _nothing_ like she knew she was _supposed_ to, she whispered, "He's a traitor."

"_What_?" James exclaimed. Hermione clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Nothing," she muttered, and turned at once and started walking away. "I'm crazy, ignore me."

"Jane, stop," James said firmly. When she didn't, he jumped and grabbed her shoulder, and upon spinning around she flinched visibly. He looked down at her with concern etched into his eyes.

"Jane—"

"No, James… just forget it." She backed out of grasp and turned. "I have to go. Tutoring session, you know."

"But—"

"_Forget_ what I said, alright?" she said harshly, spinning to face him. Her eyes were blazing. He was surprised at how fierce she looked. "It doesn't matter, so just _forget it_."

"Forget what?" James and Hermione both jumped and searched for the source of the voice.

Rose Sanders stepped from the shadows, twirling a lock of hair and looking as clever and at ease as ever.

"Have you seen Remus?" she asked, smiling at both of them. Hermione looked horrified, and James looked suspicious.

James looked at Rose for a long, hard moment, analyzing her. She stared back at him, quirking an eyebrow. He curled his lip, disgusted, and after twisting his face in a snarl at her he turned and went past Hermione. With his back to her, Rose's expression changed in an instant. Calmly, the smiled faded into a triumphant smirk, and she mouthed something that Hermione plainly caught: _Lucius will know_.

_Shit_, Hermione thought anxiously. Hearing James give the password in a soft, concealed voice, she ran at the chance to get away from the Slytherin and pushed James out of the way and into the common room she went.

James turned and looked at Rose, not unmoved by Hermione's rude hurrying. "You don't deserve him," he said coldly.

"What?" Rose asked, sounding scandalized.

"You're a goddamned cheater, and whatever the hell you and Malfoy are up to, you better stay the hell away from Jane or one of you is going to get _seriously_ hurt. I _promise_," he snarled.

Without waiting for a response from the Slytherin, he turned his back on the gaping girl and left into his tower without another word.

After shutting the portrait, he did not get the chance to see her expression melt into anger, or the swish of an invisibility cloak that dropped to the floor. A moment later, Lucius Malfoy put a hand on her shoulder to calm Rose.

"It doesn't matter," he whispered. "We got all that we needed. _We have the passwords_."

"You're right," Rose agreed quietly. Her face hardened. "She's going to get it bad, Lucius."

He smiled, the cruel delight evident in his eyes. "Oh yes, she is."

_-x-x-x-_

Hermione did not remember how she managed to convince Sirius to walk down with her to the dungeons, but she didn't care as long as someone was with her. And Sirius could protect himself on the way back, which was all for the better. Hermione would've asked Lily, but the Head Girl was no where to be seen and Hermione couldn't find Emma either, so Sirius was a good choice.

She could not risk James' curious and worried nature, so Sirius' carefree attitude certainly helped her relax a little.

"Okay, so this one time in second year, me and James snuck into the Slytherin changing rooms right before a Quidditch game and hexed all their brooms. Mind you, this was before the game started and the captain was giving them their speech and all that good stuff, so all we had to do was sneak into their broom cupboard and mutter a few well chosen phrases—and tada! Instant win for Gryffindor, and polka-dotted Slytherin's for a week."

Sirius grinned triumphantly; "told you I'm smart." He looked like a beaming child who had just won something.

"You're so…" Hermione started, but laughed instead.

"Sexy?"

"Goofy," she answered, and the look fell from his face dramatically before it was replaced again in laughter.

"But sexy too, right?" he asked hopefully, jumping in front of her as they rounded the corner to the dungeons.

"Stop complimenting yourself, Sirius," she said, rolling her eyes with a smile.

He hopped back and forth in front of her, preventing her from moving. She grinned and tried to get past, but with a laugh he kept her from passing him.

"You'd better say I'm sexy Jane, or you'll regret it!" he warned playfully.

"No, because I do not lie," she said, grinning all the while. He looked mortally offended.

"That's mean! I shall take you down!" he said in a mock battle-cry; he darted forward, grabbing her around the waist and flinging her over his shoulder. He spun around quickly, so she was yelling in delight at the dizziness.

"Put me _down_, Sirius!" Hermione laughed.

"Gotta admit it!" he said joyfully. Voices echoed up the hall, coming closer, and Hermione knew that Sirius would make her look like an idiot if he didn't put her down.

"Fine!" she yelled, the room spinning before her eyes. "I admit it, you're sexy!"

"Thank you!" Sirius said triumphantly, still holding Hermione over his shoulder. The voices were stronger, and two girls turned the corner, talking. It was Emma and Lily, who stopped dead at the sight of Sirius and Hermione.

"Emma, dahling. I didn't see you at dinner. You either, Lils. Where did you gals run off too?" Sirius inquired happily, oblivious to Hermione's quiet mews to be let down.

"Potions room," Lily said shortly, looking suspiciously confused at Hermione and Sirius. "Now, where are you two going?"

"Potions room. What a coincidence, huh?" Sirius asked jovially. He stopped and looked at Emma, who was glaring at Hermione's backside. "Emma, love, are you alright? You've got a little vein popping out on your forehead… "

"Fine," she snarled. "Absolutely _bloody_ fine." Without another word, she stormed past Sirius, knocking hard into his shoulder. Thundering up the hall, she turned briefly and gave a very exasperated Hermione a threatening look. Hermione looked surprised at this, but could say nothing as the girl retreated.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Anyway Si, Remus is already down there. I had to talk to Hull, and he was hoping he could get a session out of me instead of Jane," Lily told him. "I've got to go now, bye."

"Hmm, Mooney's trying to switch tutors, now is he?" Sirius said to himself, interestedly.

"Sirius?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, Jane darling?"

"Put me down," she said dryly.

"Oh, yes that. Sure thing." He pulled her off his shoulder, still smiling brightly.

"Oh," came the echo of Lily's voice from up the hall; Hermione and Sirius turned to look at her: "Malfoy is in there too. Apparently he got a detention for running into a teacher and being all rude about it. He's a right piece of work, being all nasty to Remus. Take care not to let him kill you, eh?" She gave a little laugh and continued on her way.

_Oh great, that's just perfect_, Hermione thought sarcastically. Remus _and_ Lucius was just about the worst thing she could ask for in her current situation. _Lucius is not going to let this night go by without doing something to his advantage. He's going to screw my relationship up with Remus even **more**_.

"Oh, well doesn't that make your day all jolly and bright," Sirius commented with a sigh. "Shall we skip this session of yours then, Jane? Oooh, then let's go to the kitchens and get ice cream!"

"It's scary how much you resembled a three-year-old right then," Hermione said wryly. "And no, I shall not skive. You can come, but I doubt anything will hold your attention span for that long. Hah, I was just joking, Sirius."

He lifted an eyebrow, and lunged at her. Grinning, he got her head in the crook of his arm and started rubbing her scalp very hard with his knuckles.

"Noogie!" he cried happily.

"_Sirius! _Ouch—no, stop—_OW OW!—_my hair is already bushy, leave me—OW!—alone," she protested, thrashing about. "_Uncle_!"

"Who?" Sirius asked, rubbing harder.

"_Mercy_!" Hermione cried frantically, desperate to get away from this childish torture.

"No mercy for you!" he answered.

"You're sexy!" she blurted, and was let go of immediately. She fell back to the floor, but she was happy that she was released. Sirius looked proud, but held out a hand to help her up.

Hermione pulled out her wand and tapped his hand suspiciously, and he whipped back his fingers and pulled out his own wand and pointed it at her, looking ready to duel but very amused. She rolled her eyes and stood, tucking her wand back into her pocket, Sirius mirroring her movements.

"Well, I suppose I can make it from here. Thanks for walking with me," she said appreciatively.

He ruffled his hair and smiled back, differently from before. "No problem, Jane. Shall I pick you up, _saaaay_ nine o'clock?"

"For what?" she asked, well aware of how he was acting; she hoped he was only joking around.

"We can go to the kitchens and _then_ get ice cream!" he shouted, flinging up his arms with a happy squeal.

"You're stupid," she laughed, and turned to go down the hall.

"And sexy!" he called after her. She grinned, but did not turn back.

She tried to hold onto the laughter that had been echoing from her since she and Sirius left Gryffindor Tower, but as soon as she would push open the Potion door, laying eyes on both Lucius and Remus, the happiness would drain instantly, replacing it with anxiousness and panic.

How in the _hell_ was she supposed to handle this?

Grimacing for the events that were about to come, Hermione tentatively reached out for the wooden door and opened it silently. She took a moment to gather her wits before stepping in, where she was met with Lucius and Remus, but she did not expect to see them talking civilly, even if Remus did look slightly suspicious.

"Well all that stuff that Rose was telling you wasn't a bunch of lies, Lupin. She told me the little hussy was doing the exact same thing," Lucius was saying. He suddenly looked up, spotting Hermione and grinned, no humor behind his smile, but only cold delight.

"Well speak of the devil," Lucius said softly, and turned around after throwing Remus an I-told-yah-so kind of look.

Glaring suspiciously at the back of Malfoy's head, Hermione moved around and sat across the desk from Remus, ignoring the fluttery and nervous rhythm of her heart. She dropped her book bag onto the table, noticing the weird look that Remus had on his face as he watched her movements, almost as if he were looking for something specific, before she sighed impatiently as the contents of her bag spilled out.

"Great," she sighed, and started picking things up. Her things had spilled as far Lucius, and quills, books and inks were lying around like little.

Picking them up with haste, she did not notice Lucius bend down to retrieve something that had fallen on the floor; Remus, silent and observing, watched Malfoy's movements and fascinated expression as he looked over the notebook before triumph gleamed in his eyes. Lucius pocketed this new possession, smirking successfully, Remus' gingery eyes following his actions.

What Malfoy had stowed away was something so precious, something that Hermione had come to treasure with secrets, both personal and informational. They held the complex reasoning of her mind, and about time; every little note that she had taken on time travel had been scribbled into corners and free spaces with stars and arrows pointing to them.

Woven in with the precious information were her worried thoughts and how she was going to deal with life back with Harry and Ron, how she would handle Remus as a teacher, and what new dangers and obstacles she would face with Draco Malfoy. Things that should never cross the mind of a girl her age had been recorded, and by the time she realized that Lucius had a hold of the notebook, it would be too late to stop him.

"Alright," she said finally, stuffing her charms book into her bag, and shutting the clasp. "I thought it might be wise to work on theory, since you seem to have no trouble _making_ the potions, and the essays and written comprehension can really confuse some people."

"He's fine in theory, Lewis," said Hull's voice. She walked from her office and sat down at her desk with a tired sigh. "It's the brewing he's terrible at; the last potion he handed in was supposed to be a Pepper-Up Potion as an extra grade… it was purple."

"Oh," said Hermione in a small voice, wincing involuntarily. In the final stages, the Pepper-Up Potion was a thick reddish color, no where near the lavender purple that Hermione was imagining.

"Well, I mean—" Hermione glanced at Lucius, whose hands were working very slowly over a cauldron, moving up and down over one spot: he was listening. "I just thought it would be more… _appropriate _to try some theory again, because he may be excellent in it, but he may just need to review." Bottom line, Hermione did _not_ want Remus and Lucius and herself in the same room together, most likely _unsupervised_. With Hull out of the picture, Lucius would let the implications fly, and she would be done for.

"Shut it, Lewis. You're helping him brew another Pepper-Up Potion, and when you hand it in it mustn't be anything lower than an _E_ or I'll have your head, understand?" the professor warned.

"Yes," Hermione agreed reluctantly.

"Good." The teacher relaxed for a moment, before letting out a yawn and pulling out some papers; for a moment, Hermione joyfully thought she was going to sit there at her desk and grade papers, but a moment later, Hull stood up, shuffling the parchment, and worry set in through Hermione's body.

"I'll be up with Minerva, I have business with her," Hull informed the three of them. "There better be no funny things going on, because I'll know about it, and when I do, you will wish you didn't take potions class."

_Don't we already?_ Hermione asked herself skeptically. However, she remained silent as the professor gave them each a threatening glance, straightened her papers, and walked out of the dungeons.

There was an eerie silence, and Hermione stared at the door, desperate for it to swing back open with the professor exclaiming: "Just joking!" and then proceeding to grade papers. But after a minute of her internal whining, it remained shut, and she knew all hope was gone.

Sighing worriedly, Hermione turned back to Remus, who was staring at her with a scrutinizing look that vanished once she looked at him. She wondered briefly what it was for, what she had done, but she couldn't concentrate on it very long. She just wanted to get out.

"Well I still think reviewing theory would help… let's go up to the library, shall we?" Hermione said to Remus, trying to keep her voice low. Still though, Lucius heard her words, and smiled in his cruel delight.

"I don't think so, Jane love," Lucius said silkily, cutting off Remus before he even had a chance to speak. Hermione dropped her head into her hands and just wanted to cry from her fearful frustration.

"We all know how you love to escape to your precious library, but you'll have to sit this one out. You can't leave here," he said calmly, but she could still hear the smugness in his voice. "I won't let you."

"You don't have any power over me," she snarled, whipping around to face him. Lucius had leaned back in his chair, his legs propped up on the table and his sleeves pushed up over his forearms. It struck her suddenly that with his hair pulled back and his sleeves pushed up, that he was undeniably handsome.

_Stupid—female—hormones. Go die_, she thought angrily.

"Oh really?" he asked, mocking curiosity. _Granger_, he mouthed at her, and Hermione bristled. However, he was far from done. He only had a certain amount of time to prove what he had to, and he was not letting his detention go to waste. "What about the time when you and I were out in the woods, and when I told you to do something, you would just _do it_?"

He was talking about the kidnapping, of course, but Remus didn't know that. Hermione was very tempted to turn around to see if she could convince him otherwise then what Lucius was saying, but that would be setting herself up. Lucius was playing with his words, and however truthful they were, they were misleading.

"Shut up, Malfoy," she hissed, eyes narrowed. "That's nobody's business. Neither of us wants to hear your rubbish."

"Nobody's business but _ours_. And I really don't mind sharing it with Lupin here, I mean; who does he have to tell?" Lucius gave an imperial little laugh, and Hermione wanted to strangle him.

Remus had remained silent since she had stepped foot into the dungeons, and she knew he was trying to decipher the hidden meaning behind their words, though he could not. She was very afraid that he was going to get the wrong idea, and she knew that no matter what she did to prevent it; she was going to say the wrong thing.

"Well I want you to shut the hell up, Malfoy. It's as much _my_ business as it is yours, so shut up," she spat. He smirked haughtily.

"And yet everyone seems to be part of your business… do I recall you running down the Slytherin corridor, most likely instigated by the snogging couple of Rose and Lupin, just so you could come running into my arms—"

"Enough!" she yelled. Hermione now _feared_ to look at Remus, not wanting to see the disgust directed towards her as he, surely, relived the memory also. She could not stand the ashamed feeling she got when she thought about it herself; how could she have done that _just_ for revenge on Remus when he didn't even seem to _care_?

"You came running to me just so you could make Lupin here jealous," Lucius said softly, eyes gleaming.

"Shut up!" she snarled, too quickly. She knew her defensive tone was an obvious give away that it was true, but she was quick to defend herself in hopes of the last-minute convincing. "That's a lie."

"Is it?" Remus asked quietly, and Hermione turned to face him involuntarily. She bit her lip and looked at him, worried, but remaining silent. He looked nervous, but suspiciously so, as if he was daring himself to believe Hermione.

After Hermione's prolonged pause, he spoke again. "If that wasn't it Jane, then why? Did you _seriously_ fancy Malfoy?"

_Oh no_, she thought frantically, _I should've seen this coming! What the hell am I supposed to say?_

"Yes, Lewis, did you?" Lucius inquired interestedly, leaning forward in his chair to look closer at her. Hermione, face hard and uncertain, looked between Lucius, sitting in all his fair-haired glory, his prestigious wealth and quick wit, and Remus, dark haired, quiet, secretive and confused.

Lucius knew what was going on, and had every intention of steering it in a favorable direction, and Remus was being fed these lies and misleading things… she was being put in _such_ a bad light. How was she supposed to get out of this?

"I-I didn't do it for anything like that," she said suddenly. "Not to make you jealous, Remus, and not because I fancied Malfoy. I did it because—" _I needed too._ She couldn't finish that sentence; it would be the most obvious giveaway that she was _that_ desperate for Remus, and she didn't want to shame herself like that.

"I don't know," she mumbled finally.

"I think you do know, Jane," Lucius said quietly, and when she turned to glare at him she saw the clever, amused look in his eyes. "I think you know _exactly _how you feel… and I think you know a lot more, don't you?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes, knowing exactly what he was getting at. "No, I don't," she snarled. "Now kindly mind your own goddamned business, because if you haven't noticed, _this_ is a tutoring session, and you're preventing me from tutoring Remus. Now stop it with your damned interrogation and leave me _alone_."

She sat properly in her seat again, frustrated to the point of tears, but she blinked them angrily away and told herself to focus on Remus and forget entirely about Lucius; Malfoy knew too much, and she kept wishing desperately that if she ignored him hard enough, he would go away.

And she would pretend that was the truth for as long as she could, just as long as it kept her sane.

"Now Remus, I know you do fine in theory, so just list off the names of the ingredients for the Pepper-Up Potion," Hermione instructed wearily, rubbing one eye and looking at him expectantly through the other. Remus' face was hard and his eyes narrowed in thought as he stared over her shoulder at something. "Remus?"

"Malfoy's right," Remus blurted out suddenly. Hermione could picture the vicious smile that would spread over his face at Remus' words, and she didn't have to turn around to know that it had.

"No he isn't; just ignore him," she snapped. She was hoping to _God_ that Remus wasn't drawing his own ideas with the implications that the nefarious Malfoy had supplied, and if he had, then Hermione was in _deep_ trouble…

"He's right, and so is Rose, and so is everyone else," Remus accused, suddenly looking angry. "There's something weird going on with you, you know _way_ too much! And you're causing all this trouble and—and you're just getting in the way of everything. What's with you? Why can't you just be simple, and _normal_?"

Hermione stared at him, clearly shocked at his words. That had sent her mind reeling: _how could he say something like that? Are my mistakes really that noticeable? Does—does he really **mean** it?_

"They told me about the stupid _shit_ you were doing, and I didn't believe it, I _wouldn't._ How could I believe that someone like—someone like _you_ could do something as awful as that?" he cried, pushing up from his seat and standing poised and tense, ready to spring at her in accusation or flee from the dungeons in disgust or disbelief.

"It's not true!" she yelled immediately. "None of it is! They're lying to you!"

"No, Jane, _you're _lying to me," Remus snarled. "James' cloak, Malfoy and his biased ways, and the way you just knew what you were doing. There's more Jane, and don't even try to deny it, because I _know _there's something you're hiding. Something huge."

She gaped at him, appalled and shocked and panicked. It was absurd that _he_ was accusing _her_ of a huge secret when he was a bloody werewolf! It was unfair, and uncalled for, and she was so angry and confused that nothing made sense anymore except justifying herself and getting defensive.

"Oh Remus, I wouldn't be talking about me hiding secrets if I were you," she growled softly. His eyes narrowed dangerously, and she stood and clenched her fists at her side.

"You—with your disappearing and shifty looks and changing moods and—and—" but she refused to let herself finish what she was desperate to say.

"Sounds like you know the _beast_ pretty well, Jane," Lucius said offhandedly, and she spun around with a snarl.

"Shut your damn mouth, Malfoy!" she snarled again.

"I mean, _I _think you fancying him and all is a complete waste of time, he's not even fit for _human_ standards, let alone _yours._ He's filth," Malfoy scoffed, crossing his arms.

"Oh, shut it you! I don't want to hear it from you how he's horrible and below everyone, because he's _not_. Just because he's a werewolf doesn't make a bastard like you any better than him!" she exclaimed. "He's better than you'll ever be!"

Hermione didn't understand the shocked, but very delighted look on Lucius' face that had appeared as soon as she had finished talking. Nor did she know why Remus had started making sputtering, choking noises. She glanced over her shoulder at him to find his face pale and sickly looking, his mouth moving wordlessly and his eyes huge. He lifted a shaking arm and pointed at her accusingly, still stunned.

"What?" she asked, confused.

Malfoy's chair slammed to the ground, and he jumped up form his seat in delight. He seemed to be giddy with something, but the truth was, Hermione had just revealed something _very_ important… and dangerous.

"And do you think I'm lying now, Lupin?" Lucius asked in a rush, grinning and staring at Hermione. She turned to him, her face twisted up in uncertainty; she didn't know what was so important, and whatever it was, Lucius was making a big deal out of it.

"What's going on?" she demanded, upset.

"_You_—" Remus could barely speak. She turned to face him again, whirling around, wondering if it was just her, or if both Remus and Malfoy had gone insane.

"What?" she asked, now urging for an answer. "What did I say—?"

Hermione stopped dead, and her past words hit her like a train. _What did I say?_ Only moments before her confused state she had claimed that Remus was better than Lucius could ever be, werewolf or not.

_Werewolf or not_.

"_Oh_," she squeaked. Her body tensed up as if she had been subjected to _Petrificus Totalus_, and she racked her mind desperately for any excuse to say something in her defense (that wasn't impossible, and wouldn't screw up her situation anymore) or for a way to get out of the room, out of the dungeons, and out of Hogwarts forever.

Well, getting out of the dungeons would simply have to do.

She took a swift look at the viciously triumphant looking Malfoy, a glance at the shocked, steadily angering Remus, before making a speedy grab for her book bag and sprinting for the door.

However, Professor Hull happened to choose this moment to open the door just as Hermione was reaching for it.

"_No!_" Hermione yelled in panic.

"What do you think you're doing, Lewis?" Hull demanded.

"I was leaving," Hermione rushed to say.

"No you're not. Your session with Lupin isn't over yet. Sit down," Hull snapped. The teacher took a moment to look at Remus and at Malfoy. "Why are you gaping, Lupin? Sit down, look over those notes and finish your potion."

Hull worked her way through the Potions room, and plopped down at her desk. After a moment of shuffling papers, she looked up to see Hermione still standing at the door, looking pale, Remus Lupin clutching the table like it was the only thing that could save him from Hell, and Lucius sporting a very happy expression, almost as if Christmas had come early.

"Well?" Hull barked. "Sit down, all of you! Get back to the cauldron, Malfoy, and Lewis and Lupin! Finish that potion or I'll throw you both in detention!"

Remus dropped into his face, drawing shaky, deep breaths, and stared at the cauldron and blank parchment set before him. Sending Hermione a victorious look, Lucius hesitantly sat down in his seat, and picked up the sponge-like thing and scrubbed halfheartedly at the cauldron.

Hermione was frozen in the doorway, torn between following the teacher's directions and continuing her tutoring session, or turning and running as far and as fast as she could.

The air was tense in the room, and she knew it was because Remus was feeling a raging mix of emotions, and he had every reason too. _She had let them know_. She let it _slip_ that he was a werewolf, and there wasn't even a time for her to mumble that she had seen his transformation, or that she had noticed his peculiar absences.

She had been so wrapped up in herself that she hadn't noticed Remus slinking away every 28 days and coming back beat up a day or two later. Time then was just blending into one huge mess, and she could even pick out his scarred face fresh from the Shrieking Shack after the full moon.

Remus was not going to trust her at all anymore, and chances were the Marauders would be against her. She prayed to Merlin that James and Sirius would still help her, still get back at Lucius for her, and that she could find a way to stay away from the blonde forever, because now that she had said something as huge as _that_, she was done for.

Lucius was never going to leave her alone. Remus was going to be on guard and suspicious for the rest of the time she was there, and Hermione was going to go insane, she was sure of it.

She didn't want to face either of them, not when she felt to miserable and scared and confused with Remus _and_ Malfoy when she had said something so terrible. She didn't want to push herself to get through the session, however short it must've been. She didn't want to be with anyone else. She wanted to be alone, for good.

She decided in a split second, and a moment later she was sprinting down the dungeon hallway, her heavy book bag swinging against her leg, and her mind refusing to acknowledge the screaming of her teacher to get back to tutoring Remus.

She was not looking back, she decided. Not today, and not for the rest of the time that she was stuck in 1979.

_**-**_  
_**-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Notes**: Well, originally I wasn't going to end it here, but a lot later. There are a few more events that need to take place before Hermione gets herself in a safe position, and before she can think without worrying about Lucius at her heels. It's gonna be a long ride guys, but I think this story is at it's halfway point. I'm not really sure.

Now, I would appreciate tremendously if you would **please review** because at the moment, this is my most favored story, and I really want this to go successfully. Summer is near, and I've been typing like mad and having so many ideas, so updates will come quickly!

And I broke the mold for you! I was going to update like two other stories before letting this one out, but I figured, WHAT THE HELL, and gave you all a treat!

Thanks for reading, and **please review!**


	11. Taking Control

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter, just this plot and a few original characters.

Very sorry for the long wait. I started the next chapter on about all of my other stories, and picked up another story that will not be published under this name, but I decided this was most wanted and did it anyways.

Good news, this story is drawing to a close. I know that inspires a freak-attack on many of you, but I mean in like, ten chapters it might be done. Maybe even 7 or something. I dunno yet. But that doesn't matter!

On with the story!

**Still So Close to You  
By Darkwing731  
-**  
((--Chapter Twelve--))  
Taking Control

-

_She decided in a split second, and a moment later she was sprinting down the dungeon hallway, her heavy book bag swinging against her leg, and her mind refusing to acknowledge the screaming of her teacher to get back to tutoring Remus._

_She was not looking back, she decided. Not today, and not for the rest of the time that she was stuck in 1979._

Hermione wasn't stupid. She knew that the stunt she pulled in the Potions room was going to cost her a _lot_. Not only would she face consequences from her professor, but now she would have Lucius pulling her around like a puppet and Remus glaring at her and spreading vicious lies to his friends… well, that's what she expected him to do, anyways.

She wasn't sure what had made her spurt out "_Remus is a werewolf!"_ in front of him_ and_ Malfoy, because it sure as hell was _not_ a good thing. It was something so terrible of her, she was sure to become friendless and despised in a very short amount of time, with no one to watch out for Malfoy when she wasn't looking.

Now she was hiding out on her bed, curtains drawn around her, concealing her from the rest of the world while she sulked and punished herself for something so tremendously stupid. _What had made her do that!_ Only a _fool_ would've done something as stupid as that, and then ran away in fear!

But as long as she had been in 1979 with the Marauders and Lucius Malfoy, Hermione seemed to be changing noticeably, and even _she_ seemed to notice it too. She wasn't thinking hard enough, all her cautious ways seemed to disappear, and the things she was doing because of Remus… well, they were stupid. Stupid, stupid, _stupid._ There was no other word to describe it.

But she mused that it was what happened when you fell in love… _If this is what you call love_, Hermione thought miserably. She turned over and pressed her face into her pillow, ejecting a forlorn wail. Now, she had time to think over her situation with possible solutions, but all she could do was watch Remus' shocked face play over and over again in her mind, like a broken record.

If Lucius hadn't provoked her intentionally, then it never would've happened. She sighed and flipped into her back, fingering the corner of her pillow. She needed to do _something_ about Lucius, something to ensure that he would never come back to haunt her again, to hurt her, to taunt her, _anything_. She needed to be rid of him, and for good.

_The prank_, she thought wearily. James and Sirius were taking too long, and she wanted the misfortune to happen to Malfoy _now_, not _later_. She was very impatient for it to happen, but now that she had proverbially fallen flat on her face after tripping over the biggest secret a person could have, he would be cornering her faster than she could blink.

There was nothing else she could do. She would have to trust James and Sirius to get rid of him, and if nothing else worked, she could go to Dumbledore or McGonagall or something and enlist their help for time travel—

She sat up suddenly, thinking. She _had_ been this silly all along. Why hadn't she thought of it before? The answer struck her so hard that she felt like an idiot all over again, more foolish than ever before. Hermione had recommended it to Harry, to Ron, to _everybody_, but never to herself.

She had too much pride to do it, because she _knew_ she could do it herself.

But not this time. If she was going to be out of harm's way from Malfoy, then she needed to do it. She had to swallow her pride, march up to his office, and tell Dumbledore of her situation. It was the only thing she could think of, the only man powerful enough to keep the malicious blonde away from her.

_Soon_, she promised herself, _soon I'll go and see him, and Malfoy will know who's in charge again._

_-x-x-x-_

Meals were quite a lonely time for Hermione. Although she had not been officially shunned from the group of Marauders, Remus' deadly look was enough to drive her away. She did not want to intrude on them, especially him, right after letting Remus know she had something to hide, something big.

James and Sirius did not seem hostile towards her at all. In fact, as she followed them morosely to their next class, Charms, the two boys fell back and walked beside her for a quick chat.

"You'll be happy to know that our prank will start tomorrow at dinner," James informed her happily, grinning. She smiled faintly, but inside her heart was soaring with relief.

"Thank you," she said, the tension draining out of her, slowly but surely.

"Malfoy won't know until he goes to bed tomorrow night, but if we're lucky enough…" Sirius grinned at her, and suddenly there was a dangerous twinkle in his eye. "Prongs, do you think we can _ensure_ that he'll find out by tomorrow night?"

James opened his eyes a little wider. "You choose the girl, and I can get the potions from Hull. Mooney and Wormtail can come down with me, and talk to her while I use the cloak to fetch it," James planned.

"And _how_ do we get it into a Slytherin goblet?" Sirius asked, thinking somewhat harder than James. Said boy scratched his chin.

"Mooney. We'll tell him the basics, and after assuring him his stupid little girlfriend is fine, he'll drop it in the right place," James said. Sirius grinned widely at him. "And if that doesn't work, we'll think of something."

They both looked at Hermione. "You're going to love this, Jane. Even though you won't experience it firsthand, you'll hear the rumors… or we can just tell you, either way. And his ego will be so bruised he won't come after you for a while because he'll be too angry to admit what's happened," Sirius promised her, drawing an arm around her shoulders and shaking her in excitement.

"How long will it last for?" Hermione questioned, curious to what they were about to do to Malfoy, but too eager to know how much time she had to herself.

"A good two weeks," James said, and started laughing to himself. Sirius joined in, and drew his arm tighter around Hermione, then grabbed her by the shoulders and brought her closer.

"He's never going to forget this, and neither will the rest of the school. All because of you, Jane. Think about that. A wicked prank by the new girl. You'll go down in _history_ for this!" he cried, smiling. He released her and clapped hands with James.

"I can't _wait_ for tomorrow," James said.

"Neither can I," Sirius agreed. They looked at each other, smiled, and then ran quickly to catch up with the rest of their friends. Watching Remus and Peter being pulled aside and informed, Hermione couldn't help but smile, just a little.

Revenge was sweet.

The class filed into the room, gossiping as they pulled out their essays and books for class. Hermione chose a seat towards the back of the Gryffindors, closer to the door and farther away from the Slytherins. Malfoy had not yet entered the room, and she was glad for it. The farther away she was from him, the better.

She dumped her book bag on her desk and pulled out the necessary things for class; parchment, her ink well, a quill, her books, and her wand. She dated the blank parchment, put _Charms Notes_ at the top of it, and waited patiently for the tiny Professor Flitwick to come in and start.

Hermione wondered what the prank was going to do to Lucius. Would affect his exterior look, or haunt him on the inside? Would it be noticeable to the public, or only to him? Hermione had no clue, not even with the obvious insinuations that James and Sirius had supplied before. It made her nervous to think about how extreme this prank would be, and if she would get into any trouble. Not by the staff, no, but by Lucius and his stupid little cronies. They would be sure to come after her no matter what, if not soon after Malfoy was affected.

Her thoughts were too jumbled and rushed in her head that she couldn't keep track of what she was thinking. She need to write everything down, all ideas, all worries, so she could go back and muse on them later when she had a free moment.

She dug around absentmindedly in her bag for her journal, wondering where the rest of the class was, why hadn't class started yet, and why the girls seemed to be gossiping more than usual.

When her hand hadn't found what it was looking for, she sighed and brought the bag to her desk and peered inside of it. There were not a lot of things in there, and through the items she could see, her journal was not one of them.

She blinked, confused, and even though awful ideas rushed into her head, she was determined not to panic. It was probably wedged beneath another book, or just hidden out of sight or something. Calmly she extracted everything left and placed it on her desk, only to find an empty bag and a desk filled with textbooks, but no journal.

_Now_ she was starting to panic. She unzipped smaller pockets and emptied them out in a rush, flinging items on the floor. Her breath was heavy and uneven, and when she started to shake it vigorously upside down, muttering loudly to herself in a panicked voice, people started looking at her funny.

"Journal," she mumbled anxiously. "Where is it?" she said loudly, trying to drown out her hammering heart.

"Where's my journal?" she demanded of no one, looking around in alarm and scanning the floor for anything that resembled it. She refused to acknowledge what happened to it, even though she knew what had. The horrible dread resting in her stomach confirmed it.

"_Where is it_?" she shrieked, gaining the attention of the entire class. Voices died down, conversations stopped, and all eyes turned to Hermione searching frantically through the rubbish strewn about the desk and floor.

"You're looking for your journal, Jane?" asked a polite voice, and her blood ran cold. She looked up at the hard look on Remus' face. James gave him a weird look.

Hermione remained silent, afraid that if she opened her mouth she would vomit from fear.

"Lucius Malfoy has it. He had it since yesterday. Maybe _now_ you'll know what it's like to be the center of gossip," he hissed at her, so viciously that _all_ of his friends, and nearly all of the Gryffindors, looked at him like he was crazy.

Hermione knew; she _knew_ Lucius had it, she _knew_ Remus would know, and she _knew_ that he was going to be happy that she was in deep trouble. She never imagined being in this situation: forced to give into Lucius Malfoy's advances or either suffer the consequences of being subject to Remus' hate. She should've kept her mouth shut, but she knew it wouldn't have worked in the first place. She had set herself up, gained his hatred, and now all she had to do was await the request that Malfoy had in order to get her journal back.

And she knew that it wouldn't be very good.

Remus glared at her, and she was unable to rip her gaze from his furious, spiteful look. She felt such a rush of dread and self-humiliation that she could not stop her lip from trembling, or the few tears that dripped out of her eyes. Only then was she able to cover her face and turn her back on the one she adored that brought her this unending pain.

Flitwick conveniently chose this moment to enter the classroom from his office.

"So sorry I'm late, I couldn't find those essays from before… Miss Lewis, would you mind cleaning up that mess?" he squeaked. Hermione got to her feet and nodded, wiping the stray tears from her face and picking up her belongings and placing them slowly back into her bag. She was aware that every eye was watching her movements.

Flitwick began talking, and when she was done, she sat down at her desk and pressed her palms into her eyes. She was no longer crying, but _gods_ how she wanted to.

Remus hated her. She _knew_ he did. She had revealed his biggest secret to a very powerful student, who knew about _Hermione Granger_ and so many other things. And now, with her journal in his grasp, Hermione was royally _screwed._

_The lock_, her brain echoed suddenly. She gave a hiccup and sat up a bit straighter. She had a _lock_ on her journal! Perhaps she was safe after all, because if Malfoy could've figure out how to unlock it, there was no harm to be done.

She just hoped, _very hard_, that her lock was too hard for him to figure out. But if he ever did… that would be the end for Hermione. She dropped her head into her folded arms and suppressed a miserable noise.

"Get to your seats, you are _five minutes_ late for class," Flitwick snapped. Hermione didn't have to look to know that Malfoy and his followers had just showed up.

There was a burning feeling of desperation overridden by extreme self-loathing. She had gotten herself into this situation, and it felt like she would do anything,_ anything_, to get out of it. However, if Malfoy hadn't pushed her so much, she wouldn't be so deep into trouble. It was partially her fault for not defending herself or thinking quick enough, and the rest was because of him.

She sniffed away her anger and let her eyes rise up to meet Lucius' smirk. He was completely across the room, and yet, she could not help but feel the fear crawling up on her flesh. He was going to milk this opportunity for all its worth and she was going to be dead by the end of it.

_Well, dead is a bit of an exaggeration, _she thought to herself, but then again... she couldn't be so sure.

She watched as Malfoy and his little group proceeded to take out their homework and such; Lucius chose to extract something extra: her journal. She spied the lock on it, observing the careful twist in it, and her body deflated in relief.

He hadn't figured it out after all. Just what she had wanted.

He stacked different books atop her journal, and then, after throwing her a victorious look, started listening to Flitwick. Hermione attempted to listen, but her eyes were glued on Lucius, wondering why he seemed so smug.

Parchment was rustling and she dug around in her bag for some also, taking notes as the teacher spoke and watching Lucius at the same time. He did not seem to enthusiastic about his work, and after a hard sigh that Hermione could hear across the room, he leaned back and whispered to a fellow Slytherin, who nodded after a moment. Malfoy handed the parchment to him, and dug a few Galleons out of his pocket and handed it to the Slytherin.

Hermione narrowed her eyes in disgust: Malfoy was _paying_ someone to take notes for him!

However, Malfoy seemed to have good reason for this, for the next moment he pulled Hermione's journal from the pile on his desk and looked at it for a moment; it was a long moment in which Hermione's quill made a large ink stain on her parchment and her heart was hammering against her chest.

He leaned over and said something to Rose, who failed to respond. Malfoy frowned at her, flipped over the journal and then peered at the lock again, and then demanded something of Rose again.

Hermione smirked at the annoyed look she gave Lucius before snapping at him. He looked mildly affronted, but said nothing more. Brow arched in nonchalance, he drew out his wand and held it to Hermione's journal, and then, in the tense moment where she was leaning forwards in her seat, watching with narrowed, scared eyes, he looked up at her.

Hermione was nervous, and it was plainly displayed on her face. Lucius lifted his eyes, his face sharp and hooded, and with the twisted smile on his face, reminded her suddenly of the murderer he would become, and she shivered.

He held up the journal, giving it the tiniest of shakes, and she narrowed her eyes. He couldn't know; _how_ could he know? There was no way that he could guess the letters of her lock, never mind get them in the right spot!

It had taken Hermione ages and ages to figure out a password and a lock strong enough to secure her journal from the snooping Lavender and Parvati, not to mention Ginny at times, but in the end, she had managed it.

_Foolproof, too_, she thought proudly. _Malfoy never could've guessed it._

Still insecure though, Hermione watched Malfoy closely.

He shot her a smug look, and turned to Rose, shielding the journal out of view. The Slytherin girl muttered something to him, reached into her bag, and Lucius turned even more so Hermione was glaring at his robed back.

When he turned, Hermione stared at her journal again—her _open_ journal. Time seemed to freeze for a moment, and her heart felt as if it had burst. The color dulled, and nothing appeared as bright as the empty white pages, brighter than any sun ever could have been—

_What the hell?_

The journal was open near the beginning, perhaps twenty pages in or so. Hermione had filled that journal until the very end, staining each and every page, leaving the precious few pages blank that she now used sparingly.

_Which means…_

Breath seeped back into her lungs, and she relaxed; time skipped, echoing the slowing beat of her heart, and logic stumbled back into her.

_It's counterfeit. I knew it. I KNEW IT._

Lucius had switched her journal with another at the very last moment.

_Let him think he's right_, a clever voice whispered to her, and she smiled at the thought.

When she could think again, her brain working fast enough to plan ahead, nit-pick for mistakes and little things she might trip over in the future (despite her doing so many times in the past), and allow herself a success-party.

Hermione saw the hesitance and panic creep into Malfoy's eyes; she realized he must've seen her terror fade into relief, and she focused on seizing back up, plastering horror and desperation back onto her frozen features.

It worked; Rose was peering over Malfoy's shoulder, and she too, was smiling in success. Hermione forged a little trembling of fear, before letting her face drop into her hands, allowing the happy grin to overtake her face again.

"_Yes_," she whispered to herself. "The lying jerk! He'll _never_ push me around again!"

To the rest of the class, who merely glanced at Hermione at one point or another, thought she was crying or extremely upset. Only Remus, who had been watching the exchange between Hermione and Lucius with angry relish (directed towards Hermione, of course) and cautious curiosity, caught the enormous relief that had settled in Jane's eyes for a single moment, before the wheels turned and she feigned desperation again.

Remus knew, and if he told a single person, Lucius would know too.

The werewolf turned around and scowled fiercely, angry at his self-doubt. There was _no doubt_ that he could be vicious enough to tell Rose—and _dammit_, he would.

He was sure of it.

_-x-x-x-_

"Surprised, aren't you?" Lucius asked softly, stepping out of the shadow of the corridor.

Hermione, after deliberately talking to the professor when class let out, tried to act surprised at his appearance.

She stiffened at Malfoy's victorious stance, but held her head high.

"You're a dirty cheat. Give me back my journal, you jerk," she hissed. He chuckled, and went to speak, but Hermione, already having semi-rehearsed something in her mind, cut him off. "Of course, it's not that simple, is it? You've got something precious of mine, something that you'll know I'll do nearly anything to get back, so you milk this for all it's worth. I'll end up doing something that—that gets me deeper into this mess called _Lucius Malfoy_.

"So, you know what I say Malfoy?" she growled. "_Keep it_!"

Lucius _clearly_ did not expect this outburst of Hermione's, and stood stunned while she huffed triumphantly and turned and marched away.

_Stupid little bugger,_ she thought, annoyed. _I hope I can do this all the—_

A hand clapped over her mouth, muffling the gasp of shock that escaped her mouth. With a moment's thought, a moment where her back was shoved against a wall, her shoulders painfully away of the nails biting into her flesh, she realized it was Lucius in his anger.

"Listen to me you stupid little _Mudblood_," he snarled at her, his face inches from Hermione's. His eyes were gleaming in fury, and it gave Hermione pleasure to note that her refusal could have such an effect. "_Clearly _you do not understand what I have of yours," he spat.

"What you have of mine?" she asked, sounding interested. "You mean, the journal that you can't even _open_?" Hermione saw the iota of shock that appeared and was suppressed for an instant, and _knew_ she had been right.

She smiled maliciously at him. "You're stupid, Malfoy, to think that _I_ would fall for that."

To her own surprise, he grinned at her, and it was not cruel, or smug, but _different_. "And _you're _stupid to think that I wouldn't have a back-up plan."

Suddenly, Lucius was flush up against Hermione, his mouth pressed to her, his arms wound into her so tightly that her own arms were flailing over his shoulders. She grabbed at him, suffocating and furious, and trying to get away. There was a little _click_ somewhere to her right, followed by a flash, and the next second she was free of Lucius, but burdened with worry and confusion once again.

Lucius folded his arms triumphantly while Rose stepped forward, bearing a large camera with a visible light bulb. Holding it smugly, she gave it a little shake at Hermione, mocking her helplessness.

Hermione could imagine a picture that would be herself and Lucius snogging like crazy, their arms wound around each other and both of them flush against the wall. But when it was finally in the Developing Potion, Hermione would have one hell of a time explaining it.

"Here's your journal back, Mudblood," Rose said. She tossed it at Hermione's feet, and the girl wiped her mouth and tried to ignore the growing anxiousness. "Not that it was of any use, of course. You've probably got a lot of little white secrets that you would guard your life with in case it tainted your _perfect record_." Rose smirked at her maliciously, and stepped back next to Lucius.

They wore the exact look: victorious, dark, and strategizing. What they would do with that picture, with the million of possibilities, well… things would be bad (_very_ bad, actually) for Hermione when distributed.

And distributed it would be.

_-x-x-x-_

Near midnight, Hermione finally fell asleep, despite the anxiousness that had been residing in her heart for the past few hours. Still, tossing and turning, she managed to fall into twisted dreams, where she was blinded by the moonlight, and Lucius chased her right into the heart of the Forbidden Forest, allowing Remus in his monstrous form to leap on her and rip her to shreds.

However, on the opposite side of the castle, dropping far into the dungeons, Rose was carefully dipping the photograph from earlier into a solution while Lucius slowly poured the Developing Potion into the mix. They let it settle a while before drawing it slowly out of the liquid and hanging it up to dry.

Together, Malfoy and Rose stood and admired the blackmail they had acquired.

"What's our caption?" Lucius asked Rose. The girl thought a moment, before shrugging.

"Perhaps we won't need one. We can say _she_ came onto you, which you know, will be believed. Most of the Slytherins think she's a little whore anyway, with _my_ help," Rose said proudly. "And with Lupin complaining about her left and right, I have Gryffindors whining their arses off about her too, so her _own_ are against her."

"So, this won't harm me, I presume," Lucius said slowly, sounding as if he was thinking hard about whether this picture would backfire or not.

"Not enough to affect you. Some will think that you're romping around with the Mudblood, but when I tell the right people, they won't think it after all," Rose said, assuring him.

"I won't let it harm you, Lucius," she said softly. He looked over at her, and a suggestive look spread over his face, the same expression that was already on hers.

"After these photos dry," Lucius drawled smoothly, smirking; "we could head back up to _my _chambers, if you like. You know the Malfoy name deserves the respect of privacy."

Rose grinned at him, and leaned over and kissed him, deeply after a moment. "I'm there," she agreed. They smirked at each other.

_-x-x-x-_

James rubbed his hands together vigorously, his glasses ignited with the reflection of the spewing potion. His grin was sly and mischievous, and he looked up to his counterpart for confirmation.

"Almost ready, Padfoot?" he asked, giggling madly to himself. This was not the first time they had created this potion, and each time they had slipped it into drinks, it had the proper effect, much to their immense amusement.

"Almost done, Prongs!" Sirius informed him happily. He disappeared for a moment behind the cauldron, before reappearing with a flask of grey powder that he poured into his hand before sprinkling it into the cauldron.

"_By the pricking of my thumb_," he sang, cackling. "_Something wicked this way comes!_" He shook the rest of the powder in, and grabbed a mixing ladle, cawing and cackling evilly like an old witch.

James looked at his, brow raised, before joining in with the evil laughter. They stood over the brewing concoction, and laughing maniacally together, they were illuminated against the darkness, their shadows thrown against the wall in grotesque shapes.

It seemed that all mischief had been awakened that night, whether its intent for evil or vindication.

_-x-x-x-_

The next morning, Hermione woke with a feeling of ultimate dread resting on her chest. It seemed that a little voice whispered for her to skive the entire day, to forget about lessons, and to plan her getaway without the worry of both Malfoy _and_ Remus on her shoulders.

_But what about Dumbledore? You have to talk to him_, another part of her mind chided. She frowned and agreed, though reluctantly. _He's the only one who can help you now; look at the terrible mess you're in_.

So, clamping her eyes shut with trepidation, she continued with her daily morning routine, not hearing the gossip of the other girls, not seeing the murderous look Emma had on her face as she glared into Hermione's back, nor the angry gleam in Lily's eyes. None of it; Hermione was oblivious, because the only thing she had to worry about today was listening to the daily news of the castle that was sure to spread through certain girls, and to steer clear of the Slytherins.

She walked slowly down to the Great Hall, trying not to think of what people would look like when they saw her—surely, with the photo that Rose took last night, she was going to use it to her advantage and make Hermione look like some—some common _scarlet woman_ or something.

She cupped her forehead in frustration at Ron's words, and tried to ignore the painful twinge at the memory of his face. She did not have to wait long, however, because as soon as she opened her eyes, another face entered abruptly, making her look away in shame.

Remus came running up to her, looking excited. Sirius was next to him, and they both looked hyped up about something.

"Jane, are you ready for it?" Remus asked excitedly. Hermione did not reply, but tried to push past him, not letting herself think about the hope and desperation and everything else that rose up in her. Remus and Sirius exchanged a look, and then grabbed Hermione by the arm.

"Jane, it's me, _James_," Remus (James, apparently) whispered. Hermione looked up at him, and sure enough, she could see the dangerous twinkle of mischief in his eyes that had never been present in Remus.

"James? What in the _world_?" she hissed, pulling him aside from the stream of hungry students.

"Alright, listen, I don't have much time to explain this," James said hastily. "I stole a pre-made Polyjuice Potion from Hull, and took it this morning to look like Remus. Remus, the dear kid, is in a very deep sleep, since Sirius here cleverly force-fed him some Sleeping Draught when we left. Last night, we also stole some Amortentia from Hull."

"James is going to put the secret revenge potion we made last night into a goblet of pumpkin juice, and put the Love stuff into another. Then, looking like Remus, he will go and sit down next to his girlfriend as a chat, _accidentally_ leaving the original goblets in the places of the Slytherin goblets, and taking _their_ goblets instead. Malfoy will drink the right one, and the girl we've chosen will drink the Love Potion. It will kick in later tonight, and they'll get down to business, and when Malfoy thinks he's on top of the world…" James and Sirius shared a knowing, dangerous look. "He'll be knocked down, and the whole school will know."

Hermione shook her head in exasperation. "Gods, I don't even _want_ to know what you're doing," she sighed.

"Good, because we won't tell you. Just watch and learn… and listen to the news, otherwise. Now, we must be leaving," Sirius said, and without warning both boys leaned in, bearing cheeks.

"What?" she asked, bemused.

"Lily and Emma always give us kisses of good luck before we pull pranks," James explained. "You're the nearest female. _Just do it_!"

Half-confused and very suspicious, she gave them both a fleeting kiss on the cheek and mumbled, "Good luck?" before they both hit her on the shoulder playfully and sprinted off.

"Those boys are one-of-a-kind," she muttered to herself, and continued on her way to breakfast. She did not see the few Gryffindor girls gasp in shock at her kissing, nor did she see the meeting of Emma, Lily and the girls who had witnessed all.

Hermione dropped down on the bench, looking around. Sirius was sitting down a few seats from her, looking subtly across the hall, with an apprehensive look to his face. He glanced over at Hermione and smirked, gave her a thumbs up and jerked his head towards the Slytherins.

Hermione scanned the hall and say Remus (James, actually) as clear as day. He was sitting next to Rose, chatting away, his feet kicking absentmindedly in the pathway between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin table. He swung his legs over the bench for a moment, and placed two goblets down; Hermione could see Rose asking the question that was rather obvious: what was with the second goblet? But James seemed to handle it with ease, and Rose accepted.

James scooted closer to the girl, laughing, ignoring the other dirty looks the Slytherins were giving him. Rose started laughing heavily, and Hermione saw him shift his arm awkwardly, moving a goblet far over in the process. It was not Lucius' seat, but another's.

More Slytherin's poured into the hall, Lucius Malfoy included. Hermione avoided looking at him, thinking about him, worry about him, and simply watched as the events took place. He stood in front of James, telling him coldly to scram, and Hermione watched as James miraculously took the _Slytherin_ goblets from the table instead of the original ones. He came back with a little strut in his step, and sat down across from Sirius, beaming with eagerness.

Hermione flew from her seat. "How—_how did you manage that_?" she sputtered, unbelieving.

"Years of practice," James boasted. Hermione gave a little sigh.

"And how did you know the goblets from one another?" she asked, half curious and half impatient.

"They were marked," he answered.

"And who was the girl? How did you know she would sit next to him?" Hermione asked him in a rush.

"Well, Sirius checked before we went in, and because she usually sits near Malfoy, we thought it would work," he said.

"But _who_ was the girl?" she urged.

"Oh, Narcissa Black," he said offhandedly. When Hermione's eyes widened and her jaw dropped, he gave her a strange look.

"Dear god," she whispered to herself. "_No, _I think I just…"

"What?" James begged, knowing that Hermione would not answer him, as she had done it before. "_Pleeeeease_ tell me Jane, _PRETTY PLEASE_?" he whined.

Hermione stood, grabbed her bag and rushed up to the staff table, unaware of the looks she was receiving. She ran up to Professor Dumbledore who was conversing with McGonagall over something.

"Professor," Hermione interrupted, quite rudely. The Headmaster looked at her kindly, and McGonagall's eyebrows rose in disapproval. "I need to have a meeting with you. Badly. And quite soon. Maybe today? Right now?"

"I'm afraid not today, Miss Lewis. Perhaps after dinner tomorrow night?" he suggested. Hermione bounced on her toes, thinking rapidly.

"Are you sure? Why not today? What about after dinner?" she rushed at him, _desperate_ to talk to him alone. She needed out, _right now_. She hadn't realized what she had been doing, the damage she had created, until just now.

"What is so urgent that needs to be talked about, Miss Lewis?" Dumbledore asked.

"Everything," she gushed anxiously. "I've—I've done too much, I've messed things. _Please_, professor! I can't stand to mess the rest up anymore! I need to do something!"

Dumbledore sighed and placed his chin on his long fingers, thinking deeply. He twisted a piece of silvery hair around his fingers, before dropping them to the table and looking at Hermione again.

"The only time I have that is available for a large amount of time is tomorrow at 9 o'clock in the evening. I have free time then, and I can talk to you and give you my undivided attention then. Is that alright, that late?" he inquired.

Hermione twisted the hem of her uniform in nervous thought, chewing her lip and hoping,_ praying_ that things would be alright till then. They would _have_ to be, or else she was screwed. Royally, and utterly _screwed._

"Yes," she answered in a whisper. "I can manage until then."

"Good; the password is Ice Mice. I'm sorry it cannot be managed sooner, Miss Lewis," Dumbledore apologized. Hermione mumbled something, smiling halfheartedly in (somewhat) appreciation, before slowly returning to her seat.

Sirius was left alone at the table, and Hermione sat across from. She noted that Remus (was it James this time again?) was walking into the hall, rubbing his eyes blearily, making her think that the _real_ Remus had just woken up, and James was off morphing back into himself in safety. Lily was already eating breakfast, talking to Emma.

She turned back to Sirius to ask him an important question, but he was engaged in conversation with Remus, who gave her a cold look out of the corner of his eye. She flushed, and turned to Lily and Emma.

It felt like a long time since Hermione had talked to Lily and Emma, even just in passing. Would either girl ignore her because of the lack of communication? Hermione swallowed her nervousness and slid down the bench to spare a few words and demand to know where James was.

Hermione seemed unable to interrupt their conversation, so she sat awkwardly until they noticed her sitting and listening to their words. Hermione was actually very uninterested in what they had to say, mostly because of the urgency of the situation, and lastly because, well, frankly, she didn't give a damn.

"Hi Lily," she blurted, and could've smacked herself. The redhead raised an eyebrow, but smiled kindly. "Uh, I was wondering if you knew where James was?"

"No, actually. I haven't seen him this morning. He might be down in the kitchens, since Sirius tends to eat all his favorite things before he gets down here… why do you ask?" Lily asked.

"I just needed to talk to him about something, is all," Hermione said, trying to keep her worried heart from blasting out of her chest.

"Why don't you ask Sirius?" Emma suggested, in a tone that was somewhat friendly, but implied otherwise. Hermione looked over at her, and was surprised to see the girl glaring daggers at her.

"He's talking to Remus," Hermione said, feeling very small all of a sudden.

"Oh, too scared to talk to Remus just because you fancy him?" Emma asked loudly. Several people, including Sirius and Remus himself, looked over at Emma's words. Hermione flushed, feeling incredibly embarrassed to the point of tears, but she held them back and looked stonily at Emma.

"No," Hermione seethed. "I just don't want to talk to Sirius because he reminds me of your hideous face," she snarled. The people who had been listening all gaped at Hermione's words, and several of them sniggered. Emma looked shocked to the point beyond words.

"Thanks Lily," Hermione said, more harshly then she intended. She snatched up her back, stood, and marched out of the hall with her head in the air.

With the luxury of privacy, her face twisted up in anger and frustration, and tears welled in her eyes before she angrily brushed them away. She could afford to think about _Remus_ right now, she had to think about _her_, and staying _safe_ and getting _home._

Hermione hadn't realized what she had set in motion, or how delicate time really was. The potions that James had distributed went to Lucius and Narcissa. It was almost written in stone they would sleep together tonight, and maybe… it was possible that tonight Draco Malfoy would be conceived.

But of course, there were technicalities. What year was Narcissa in? Wasn't Lucius an _average_ parent, being around 35 when Draco was 15 or something of the likes? That would be impossible for Draco to be conceived that night…

Her beating heart slowed considerably in her chest, and allowed her to think logically; she did the math in her head, and assured herself that it was not because of her the Malfoy would be born. Lucius was near 35 when Draco was 15. Taking 15 from 35, you got 2. And taking Lucius' age from now, which was either 17 or 18, it could be a year or two until Draco was finally conceived.

_It's not because of me, calm down_, Hermione whispered to her mind slowly. _Relax, start planning, and quit worrying._

She had to figure out what she was doing, and fast. But first, she needed to find James, and needed his help—for good.

_-x-x-x-_

"Mmmph?" James managed to mumble through a mouthful of food, staring at Hermione as she burst through the kitchens door.

"James, what year is Narcissa Black in?" she asked hurriedly.

He swallowed the food thoughtfully, thinking. "Fifth, I think. But it's obvious she fancies Malfoy, and I've heard Sirius' mocking her words before. See, his dad called a gathering of the family or something, and Narcissa, Bellatrix and Andromeda are all sisters."

"Yeah, I know," she said offhandedly. "But Andromeda is a sixth year, and Bellatrix has already graduated, right? I mean, that mean's Narcissa's the youngest…"

James eyed her suspiciously. "What's it to you? I mean, you seemed all hyped-up about it."

"Just because," Hermione supplied immediately. "I just—I needed to know. For… future reference."

_Nice pun, Granger,_ her mind muttered sarcastically. _Well at least it wasn't a lie, _she countered.

James was silent as he stared at her. "This thing about Narcissa and especially Lucius is about—about that gigantic secret you've got, isn't it?" he asked cautiously. Hermione, heart hammering in her chest, twisted her blouse in her hands.

"Yes," she said quietly after a long, tense moment. Her eyes did not meet his, and she continued to stare at the floor. "Just him though. But now… now that the prank has been set in motion, I pulled her into it too."

Hermione groaned in self-frustration to herself, she moved and plopped down onto the bench across from James.

She dropped her hands to the table in worry. "James, what am I suppose to do? After tonight, Malfoy will never leave me alone. And—" It made her skin crawl to think about it; "—and you and Sirius can't always be guarding me, so… there will be a chance, James, that he will be able to corner me."

She was slightly surprised to see James grasping her hand in a concerned way, and she knew his feelings were brotherly. "You can tell me, you know. Jane, if it's something that bad, I wouldn't say a thing," he said softly, staring into her eyes. She argued with herself fiercely, finding herself succumbing to his secure look.

"Not even Lily?" she found herself asking hesitantly a minute after. James withdrew his hand and laughed into his fingers.

"Not even Lily, I promise," he assured her, grinning. His smiled faded into a worried look. "About anything though. It doesn't have to be what you're hiding. I'm just—you're so _helpless_ and I've seen Remus and Lily like this before, and it didn't feel good to not help them," he told her, kind of awkwardly.

She nodded, after a moment. "Lucius Malfoy knows what I'm hiding. And so does Rose, Remus' _bloody_ girlfriend," she said, snarling the last bit. _Merlin _she hated Rose. "And if I don't give them what they want, they'll spread it, lie about it, and it'll be the end of me."

"What do they want?" James blurted, unable to stop himself. Hermione sighed into her hands.

"Information," she mumbled. "Well, he wants to bed me, I would think. That was his first intent, but then… then it wasn't as important anymore. But if he had the chance, I know he would. Even if—" Hermione stopped, and would not allow herself to continue the horrible thought.

"Even if…?" James repeated, confused.

"Even if I don't want to. He would force me, there isn't a doubt about it," she made herself confess. Now, the huge fear she had been suppressing was recognized, and even though the weight of it rested on her heart, she knew James had taken some away.

"Jane—" he started.

"No," she snarled suddenly at him. "It's true, and you _know_ it. There's no keeping him away from me, even if you and Sirius helped me. Sirius won't for long, Emma's bloody _furious_ with me, and I don't think Lily would appreciate me as much after you'd spend so much time with me."

"She's not the jealous type. If I told her the limited version of your problems, she would understand. She would want to help, Jane. And if I told Emma and Peter and Remus, they'd want to help you too, I know it," he promised her firmly.

Hermione snorted. "Remus? No way in hell would he want to, not after I blurted out that he's a—" Hermione realized her mistake just in time and snapped her mouth shut. However, James _knew_ what her next word would be, and a strange gleam was in his eyes.

"Werewolf," he whispered, and she nodded, lowering her eyes. "That's why he's so angry with you. I couldn't figure it out. How—how did you figure it out? He had a really good excuse, and really, no one noticed when he left."

"I already knew," she mumbled miserably.

"What?" James asked, shocked.

"That's almost all of it, James. I _know_ everyone's secrets, everyone's past, everything about everyone. I know that—" She sucked in her breath and tested the idea of releasing this precious information: "I know the Marauders, excluding Remus, are illegal Animagi." Continuing despite James stunned, horrified expression, she said "I know Lily absolutely hated your guts, and only when you stopped being so damn arrogant she decided to give you a chance." Hermione looked sadly at his amazed, shocked look.

"I know everything, James. It's unnatural for me, and I've been making mistakes too noticeable, and Malfoy has been watching me. He's discovered me, and now, he's using this—this _knowledge_ against me, my _own_ knowledge," she cried desperately.

"I don't know what to do, James! I—I want to talk to Remus so bad, to apologize for my mistakes, to tell him that it—we—_I don't know!_ But I can't say a word to him because Rose is feeding him lies, he thinks I'm talking about him behind his back, and he's been wary ever since we decided to be mates."

James was silent, looking surprised, and contemplative. "I think," he said after a long pause, "that you need to talk to Dumbledore. Surely he knows—"

"He does, and I'm talking to him tomorrow night at nine," she said. "But James, that's not the point," she continued desperately. "By then, the prank will be complete, Malfoy will be _furious_, and no matter what you do, he'll find me. And he'll get me, James," she finished fearfully.

"No he won't," James growled. "Not if I have to handcuff myself to you, I'm _not_ leaving your side. In fact, tonight I'll explain it to Lily, and I know she won't mind. Understood? Don't think about Malfoy, only think about the satisfaction of Lucius Malfoy not being so incredible after all," he remarked smugly.

Hermione gave him a faint smile and tried to put all the trust she had within her after this whole damn _fiasco_ into James.

However, she found herself only relying on his word only slightly.

She knew, and could rely on it much more, that no matter what she did, Lucius would find her.

And after that, there was no telling what would happen to her.

_-x-x-x-_

The next day flew by so fast, Hermione could barely recall a period in time that had in interesting conversation, an important realization, or the absolute feeling of dread.

All she knew was that the Slytherins were much more active than usual. However, most of them were not acting malicious towards her, but sniggering about something else, something horrible about their own house, their own leader.

_Lucius_. Whatever the prank had been, word had slipped out, and it was all because of Narcissa Black.

Malfoy had been absent from classes and meals all day, and Hermione did not venture into her imagination to wonder why. All she knew was that Narcissa could be seen fluttering around the great hall during meals, gossiping rapidly with various girls, who rushed to tell everyone they knew.

And true to his word, James latched himself to Hermione. He was next to her every class, walked with her to meals, and back and forth to the loo; _anywhere_ she went, James went. She had to admit, the odd stares were annoying, but she was graced by James' protective personality.

At nine o'clock, when all activity dimmed to homework and quiet talking, games of Exploding Snap and couples sneaking off to the Astronomy tower, James held out his arm for Hermione to take, and nervously she placed her hand in his elbow.

He escorted her to Dumbledore's office, the platonic couple utterly silent, each in apprehension, and each for their own reason. When they reached the door, James turned to her.

"Jane, no matter what Dumbledore decides to do for you, I hope you get the best. That old kook can do wonders for anyone. You'll be safe after he has his say. Don't worry," he murmured.

And it seemed on a whim that he leaned down and kissed her cheek. Her eyes were wide, but she smiled thankfully. He squeezed her shoulder, turned and left.

"Ice Mice," Hermione whispered to the stone gargoyle.

A long grinding noise filled her ears, and soon, an ascending, spiraling staircase was revealed to her. Sucking in a deep breath, she slowly started up the stairs.

After tonight, the trouble with Lucius Malfoy would either be a dream that she didn't have to face, or a nightmare she would be forced to live. But either way, after Dumbledore thought of a plan, something bad would happen to Lucius Malfoy.

And she would delight in whatever his consequences were. She knew, after swallowing all of her pride, that going to Dumbledore was the thing she should've done in the first place.

Because now that she had power behind her words, she was taking back the control of this mess she was in.

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Notes**: Liked it, eh? I just have a couple notes. The picture thing was _incredibly_ screwed up. I know that's not how you take a proper picture, and you certainly cannot do that Rose did. So forgive me. Secondly, as I said in the beginning, Lucius Malfoy was not originally in this time period, I just stuck him here because it was convenient for me. That being said, Lucius' age is _so much younger_ than it should be. His stated age in _Order of the Phoenix_ was 41, so he was 41 when Draco was 15. Got it? Good.

Uhh, please excuse the mistakes you come across, or things that don't make sense. I just beta'd it quickly with a once over, and even though I know I made mistakes, I can't find the rest of them. They're sure to be in there, though!

Like it? I know I did! This story is past its halfway mark, and I think it'll be done before 2007, or shortly after. Hurray!

**Please review!**


	12. Unsure of Himself

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, just the character of Rose Sanders and Emma (has she even been given a surname yet?)

Anyways, I hope you guys liked the last chapter, and I know if you've been waiting for some Hermione/Remus action… well, this is a step closer to it. Enjoy!

PS- this is a long chapter, so who loves me? I do! I do!

**Still So Close to You  
By Darkwing731**

((--Chapter Thirteen--))  
Unsure of Himself

-

_"Ice Mice," Hermione whispered to the stone gargoyle._

_A long grinding noise filled her ears, and soon, an ascending, spiraling staircase was revealed to her. Sucking in a deep breath, she slowly started up the stairs._

_After tonight, the trouble with Lucius Malfoy would either be a dream that she didn't have to face, or a nightmare she would be forced to live. But either way, after Dumbledore thought of a plan, something bad would happen to Lucius Malfoy._

_And she would delight in whatever his consequences were. She knew, after swallowing all of her pride, that going to Dumbledore was the thing she should've done in the first place._

_Because now that she had power behind her words, she was taking back the control of this mess she was in._

She knocked quietly, and hearing the headmaster's affirmation, she slipped in, careful to conceal her shaky steps, and sat down. The stillness of Dumbledore's office was unnerving, because the hammering of her heart roared in her ears, and she could hear nothing else but her nervousness.

"Lemon drop?" Dumbledore offered kindly. She was tempted to humor him, just to focus on something else besides her apprehension, but she knew she'd be stalling.

"No, thank you," she murmured. He nodded, and folded his long fingers on his desk.

"Now, Miss Granger, it seems that your making of this meeting was very urgent. You did mention something along the lines of 'messing things up'. What exactly has happened since you've been here?" he asked, not unkindly.

Hermione released a fear-ridden sigh. "I—" Suddenly all the fear, all the trouble and worry that had been resting on her shoulders was pouring out of her, like a dam that had finally broken free of its gates.

"Ever since I've been here I've been making tiny mistakes that no one seems to have notice, so I thought I was alright. But it wasn't true, professor. Lucius Malfoy has been watching me very closely, and with the help of a few of his friends he's tracked me down and he's cornered me so many times and he's taken information from me that I didn't realize could be given. Everything I've ever said, he's deciphered _everything_, and I just—" Only when she started to bury her face into her hands in shame did she discover she was crying.

"I don't have anyone to help me! I've accidentally said that Remus Lupin was a werewolf, so now he won't talk to me. And because he won't, no one else will! He's dating a Slytherin, Rose Sanders, whose also been helping Malfoy procure information on me and she's been getting Remus' help whether he knows it or not," she sobbed. Her body was shaking, and recognizing this dread and the horrible situation she was in was scaring the daylights out of her.

"And I think I've instigated so many events in the future, and I can't do anything about it. And I—" A few jerky breathes escaped her mouth. "_I'm trapped_. Malfoy has me backed into a corner and it was only my pride that stopped me from coming to you Professor, and I realize how _stupid_ I've been! _I need to go home_! I miss Ron and Harry so much, and—and I'm messing things up so badly here and I can't _stand_ it, and I don't know what to do and—and—"

She couldn't speak. The agony and misery was not just falling from her eyes, but her mouth. The frightened, desperate sobs that were suppressed into her hands were not unheard by the headmaster. Her chest was tightening in a bubble of worry and fear, and when it burst she let out a long wail. Her body was shaking in the chair, and she could only clutch her scalp to remind herself that she was still living, still a person in the world.

"And worst of all," she managed to utter, her words laced with tears; "_He knows_!"

"Knows what, Miss Granger?" Dumbledore inquired, very softly, gently.

"That I'm—I'm _me_. He knows that I'm _Hermione Granger_."

There. She said it. Hermione had been restricted to not saying a damn thing about her true identity to _anyone_. But finally, _finally _being allowed to voice her biggest worry of all was _so_ relieving. She actually gasped at her own words, a sound so surprised and miserable it was almost foreign to her.

Dumbledore looked into Hermione's eyes, a soft, understanding expression on his face. She felt protected, suddenly, and wished she could just sink into the safe feeling that Albus Dumbledore radiated.

"Do you have any idea how he might've discovered this?" he asked, interested but grave.

"Yes," she whispered. "One day, a while back, I think a month ago or something, I was walking back from the library. And I was talking aloud to myself, scolding myself, and I said something about being an idiot. But I said it in third person, and I just… I don't know what I was thinking," she whispered dejectedly.

"And you think he overheard you? Or that someone else might've?" Dumbledore questioned.

"No, I _know_ he heard me. He didn't overhear me, he was deliberately listening," she said, fiercely believing this fact.

"Did you see him?"

"No. But professor…" She swallowed the sickening feeling in her throat. "He's been stalking me."

That was almost a proven fact. There weren't any witnesses, but there had been more than one circumstance that she had discovered his presence or detected the feeling of being watched. And who else would be watching her now, except the predator that was after her and her information?

She almost expected Dumbledore to demand proof of this serious accusation, but instead he asked, "Do you think he is doing this for personal usage, or for a higher source?"

_Voldemort?_ Hermione's mind questioned. Did Dumbledore know that Lucius Malfoy was a Death Eater, or soon would be?

"A higher source, I would believe, but it could be for his personal use too, I suppose. I'm not positively sure, Professor," she admitted quietly, wiping her puffy cheeks.

There was a long, tense silence in which Dumbledore did nothing except scrutinize her, and she felt as if she was being x-rayed. Because she knew Dumbledore, and trusted him, she allowed him to use Occlumency on her. His gentle probing did not harm nor alert her, and she tried to stay still.

Finally, he spoke, withdrawing his mind from hers. He sighed heavily, and looked at her sadly. "I see there is much pressure and fear you have undergone this short time you have been here, Miss Granger. I am sorry that your pride was in the way, and I am sorry that I have not sought you out to offer protection. I feel it was partly my mistake to assume that you would be safe and go unnoticed by the more powerful students. Clearly, I was mistaken."

"It's alright, Professor," she whispered, swallowing the well of sadness that was suddenly rising. "I've survived this far, haven't I?"

"Ah, but you would've survived, and we know this. Our concern for you is the danger you're in," Dumbledore murmured. "Now that Lucius Malfoy has precious information, it is sure to be distributed to Voldemort."

So he did know. "Has Malfoy been initiated as a Death Eater yet?" she risked cautiously.

"Honestly, I do not know. I would like to make assumptions, but so far they have proved to be dangerous. Accusing Lucius to be a Death Eater would cause great trouble, for his father Abraxas Malfoy is extremely powerful in the Wizengamot and many other places," he informed Hermione.

_And so is Lucius_, she mused. She realized something abruptly. _And so will Draco_. She could've groaned out loud at this realization.

"You need immediate protection, Miss Granger," the Headmaster decided. "I will set up a safe house for you outside of the school, and—"

"No," Hermione interrupted him suddenly. "I can't leave. I—" What was keeping her anyways? Leaving would be the best option, but then there would be so many unresolved fights and mysteries. And it would be painful for her to stay, but if she managed to fix everything she could to the best of her ability, things would eventually work.

"I need to stay," she sighed. "I need to fix things myself. I do understand I need protection, but isn't there anything that will give me a constant shield of such to keep Malfoy away?"

There was a long pause, and Hermione could sense Dumbledore thinking rapidly. "There is an ancient shield of magic I could evoke. It is like a shield, as you said, and only you can control it. It will only affect one person, though, and I take it that your choice would be Lucius Malfoy."

"Yes," she said immediately.

"You do realize that he may find other ways of getting to you, though," Dumbledore spoke seriously.

"I know," she said quietly. "But _nothing_ is as bad as he is, and no one can hurt me as badly as him." _And I hate admitting that_, she thought to herself.

"Alright," Dumbledore said slowly. "I will do this for you. However, this shield will not come into effect until exactly 24 hours after it has been performed. So, you still have a day where you shall be unprotected."

Seeing the grim, almost terrified look on Hermione's face, he offered, "You are allowed to stay in your dormitory all day, if you would like. Meals would be brought to you."

"No, I can't hide from him forever," she said sternly, more assuring herself that nothing would happen if she was brave, if she could get away with having no protection.

"This is not a matter of your _pride_, Miss Granger. This is a matter of your _safety_," Dumbledore told her firmly. "You need to be constantly protected until the shield beings to work, and until then—"

"James Potter," she interjected. "He's been helping me. He's been guarding me, and I know a day more would do him no harm, and he would readily help me."

"Miss Granger, are you sure—?"

In truth, no, she was not sure. In this year, in this sticky, messy, confusing situation, Hermione couldn't be sure about anything. She couldn't be sure about the Marauders, she couldn't be sure about Remus, and she couldn't even be sure about her own decisions. But she had to follow her own intuition, or else she would never be able to take another step in life.

Her logic, now she had to question it. Logic would tell her to stay in the Gryffindor dormitory, to have meals delivered, to finish essays and write her fears in her journals, to keep to herself. Logic, of course, would tell her to take the safest route possible.

But she had discovered very recently that her own logic was failing her. She began to question herself and start dabbling in the 'What Ifs?' and the craziest theories. But this was the Wizarding world, and she was dealing with Lord Voldemort and the Marauders.

So, thus being said, what set the bar for how much information Lucius had? Couldn't he as easily get the Gryffindor password from Rose, who would retrieve it from Remus, and attack Hermione when no one was there to hear her screaming? Or wouldn't he just have Rose sneak up to the girls' dormitory one night and suffocate her?

Hermione didn't know anymore. She didn't know what could happen and she didn't know what _would_ happen. Somehow she knew there was a fine, fuzzy line between the two of them, and they would just as easily overlap each other as anything else.

She had made a decision to follow her head, and she knew that. But her heart had a say, and whether she realized it or not, she was listening to it now.

"Yes, Professor," she said quietly. "I'm very sure."

Dumbledore nodded, and retrieved his wand. "Alright."

And now, it was all up to Hermione to save herself from her own mistakes.

_-x-x-x-_

It was a hard essay, Remus had to admit, and he would rather be doing something else. But in order to be doing something else, he needed to finish this essay. Thus being said, it explained why he was writing furiously and mentally cursing his professor.

"Hello, love," said a soft voice. Remus stopped, looking up as Rose sat down across from him, wearing an attractive smile.

"Hey," he murmured. He didn't feel like talking to her right now, or for a long time, to be frank; James had mentioned something about her and Lucius Malfoy, and the nagging suspicion that the Slytherin was up to something had thickened. He had every reason to trust his girlfriend, as she had always been on time, had never slipped on any kind of excuse and had been very honest with him.

But still, he didn't trust her. And he had no idea why.

"What subject is that for?" Rose questioned curiously.

"Ancient Runes," he grumbled unhappily. "And it's a bloody hard one."

"So take a break," Rose suggested. Remus was tempted, but he knew that she would strike up conversation with him, and he wanted to avoid that.

"No, I'm alright. I need to get this done," he said.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about something," she said slowly. "If it's okay," she added.

He took a chance, and said, "Depends on the subject." He kept his eyes on the parchment and kept his quill moving.

"Quite honestly," she said cautiously, "You and Jane Lewis."

Remus looked up immediately, a furious feeling rising in his chest. Who was Rose to mention Jane in front of him!?

He only just held back his anger; "What about it?" he managed to say in a calm voice.

"I know you never really liked her, but why are you so mad at her all of a sudden? I mean, what did she do to you?"

Rose was feigning ignorance, and Remus didn't know that. Rose had something to accomplish. She needed to set this pathetic excuse for a human against the girl who had enough information to ruin them all.

Remus struggled with himself for a moment; what _was_ he mad at her for? _She told Malfoy I was a werewolf_, his mind growled angrily. _But Malfoy had to have known already. He's calling me 'beast' left and right_.

So Malfoy did know about Remus, and if he hadn't before, he did now. But still, there was that suspicious question: how the _hell_ did Jane find out?

"It's complicated," Remus answered finally.

"I've got time," Rose offered sincerely.

"Well I don't," Remus snapped at her, angrily going back to his essay. He did _not_ want to talk to Rose.

"Is it about her and Lucius Malfoy?" she asked innocently. She noted that Remus hesitated in his writing for just a moment, but then continued on.

"I already know how she's romping around with him. And that was ages ago," he growled, suddenly feeling very angry.

"So it's not what she's been doing these couple of days that's got you mad?" Rose asked. Remus, seething, slammed down his quill.

"What is it, Rose?" he shouted at her, ignoring the fact that they were in a library. "What shit do you have to poison my mind with? Frankly I'm rather busy and I don't want to listen to you talking right now," he spat.

He was surprised at the words that came out of his mouth, but it seemed that Rose wasn't.

"Ah," she deduced quietly. "You're jealous."

"_Jealous_?" he sputtered loudly. "Of what? _Them_? You've got to be joking me!"

"Well then what is it, Remus?" Rose yelled at him, standing suddenly. Working students were looking at them. "What could possibly have you livid besides them being together?"

He threw aside his essay and matched her height, towering on the other side of the table easily. "First of all," he raged loudly, "they are _not_ together. And second, what does it matter to you? Doesn't it make you bloody _joyous_ that I'm not talking to her, Rose? Isn't that what you wanted in the first place? I can't stand to look at her, but now you want to know why? Why aren't you happy with what you already know?!" he roared.

"Because you still fancy her!" she screamed at him accusingly. "And I don't want you running around with the little whore!"

"_Shut up_!" Remus bellowed abruptly. He grabbed all of his things, shoved them into his bag, and turned to glare at her. "Just leave me alone, Rose. I don't have to prove to you that I'm faithful to only you just because there's a girl you're insecure about."

And with that he turned and stormed out of the library, leaving Rose gaping and inevitably dealing with Madam Pince's consequences.

Remus stormed back to Gryffindor tower alone, seething and muttering angry words to himself.

Jane was a source of great annoying and trouble to him, and yet she was always on his mind. Lately he had been so angry with her that it blinded any other thoughts he had for her.

Yet, what other thoughts could he possibly have? Didn't he use to think about her in a non-annoyed way, in fact, in a non-_platonic_ way?

_But not anymore, not when she's been with Malfoy…_ So was Rose right? _Was _Jane with Malfoy? Did Remus _actually_ believe that?

_Yeah, I do. Rose's been telling me all along, and there's definitely proof…_ But now Remus wasn't trusting Rose as much as he used to. Prongs didn't, Padfoot didn't, Remus didn't even _know_ if Wormtail did or not; the small Marauder had been growing a bit distant. The werewolf knew that an outsider's point of view did wonders and Remus always listened to the advice that they had to give.

So trusting Rose's words, now and previously, was out of the question. He was suspicious of her intentions. And proof? Did he even _have_ proof besides the belief he had in his girlfriend?

_Yes, I do. The dungeons, their kiss in front of the **whole** corridor, Valentine's Day…_ and the list went on.

_But who's to say she wasn't forced into all of that?_ a little voice whispered in the back of his mind. Hadn't someone mentioned that Jane was having problems with Malfoy, dangerous problems? Hadn't Remus _himself_ saved her from Malfoy on more than one occasion?

"I don't know," he mumbled to himself. "I can't think about her right now; I need sleep."

His walk went by surprisingly quick, and he provided the password for the Fat Lady as soon as he reached Gryffindor tower. Exhausted, he headed right for the boys' dormitory, ignoring the thoughts that clouded his mind.

He jumped up the steps, and he was grateful that it was relatively silent or else he never would've caught their conversation.

He opened the door, just a sliver, but stopped at the voices.

"So then, Dumbledore put a shield around you?" James asked someone.

"Yes," answered Jane's voice. Hearing her, Remus froze and continued to eavesdrop, the rush of his mind halted to a stop. "Although, he told me it takes exactly a day for it to kick it, which means you'll have to attach yourself to me until half past nine tomorrow night, if that's alright," Jane said, sighing but soundly relieved.

"Will do. I'll explain that to Lily later on," he said. "But after Malfoy is out of the way, what're going to do next?"

Hesitantly, Jane answered. "I'm going to get my wits together and try to talk to Remus. I really need to explain to him the corner that I'm in, what's really going on… James, it's horrible what he thinks of me. You know what that damn Slytherin is doing to him!"

"Yeah, I know. But he trusts her, and I don't know what will change that," James murmured quietly. "But you need to talk to him, most definitely. You don't have to tell him everything you told me—"

"But I've got to! What else would convince him? He knows I've got something to hide, and unless I tell him what's actually happening he'd never forgive me," Jane said miserably.

"Well it's not like Malfoy didn't already know," James muttered, almost sarcastically.

"Exactly! And that's what Malfoy wanted; he wanted me to say something that would take Remus' trust away from me. I mean, he was already wary of me just because I've done some stupid things just to make him jealous…" She sighed forlornly, and Remus felt his pulse start to race.

"Oh James," she sighed, her voice muffled. Remus knew that Prongs had pulled her into a comforting embrace. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Lily will help you," James offered. "She's wonderful with this kind of stuff, and she'll talk some sense into Remus."

"But what if she can't?" Jane cried suddenly. "The probability of that is much bigger than him wanting to be mates with me again, much less think of me more than just a friend. Chances are he'll never want to look at my face again."

"Oh, shut up, Jane," Prongs snapped suddenly. "Remus has got more secrets than you, and he'd understand you better than anyone else, so don't go thinking he's a stolid bastard who holds a grudge for life."

"But he can be! James, you have no idea! I mean, after Sirius went and—" but she stopped suddenly.

"What about Sirius?" James questioned in a soft, suspicious voice.

"Nothing," she muttered. "I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because it would be the death of all of us, that's why!" Jane yelled. Remus heard the mattress spring creak, and her pacing footsteps. "Look James, I already explained this to you. I can't tell you _anything_. I've already told you too much, and I've no choice but to tell Remus and Lily, and I don't want to. It puts them in danger, and it puts me in danger."

"But if you told them, they could avoid it!"

"No!" she shouted at James. "You don't understand!"

"Then _please_, explain it to me," James said softly. "C'mere."

"No, James. I just—" she sniffled; "I need to go back up to my room. I need to think. I appreciate your help all the same, though."

Had Remus registered her words fast enough, he would've been able to move fast enough to avoid getting caught. But alas, Jane opened the door just as Remus pulled his ear from the crack in the door.

She tensed up immediately, her brown were eyes alight with shock and fear, her chest still with surprise. Remus took a step back, stumbling over his feet, and gaped at her. James was staring at his friend in surprise, clutching a bedpost.

"_Remus_?" James cried suddenly, and with the yelping of his voice, Jane wiped the tears furiously from her eyes and rushed past Remus.

The horror of what was happening suddenly hit Remus full on in the chest, and he fell back into the wall. As James started for him, Remus turned and ran, more baffled and mortified than he had ever been in his life, the crushing weight of how he _really_ felt drowning him.

However, he was not the only confused soul that night.

_-x-x-x-_

The next morning, Hermione was waiting patiently for James to go down to breakfast. She chose to listen, instead of watch, because she would rather not meet the glares of certain people as they left for breakfast.

James came down, finally, with Lily. They were deep in conversation, their voices low. They moved off the staircase, stepping aside. Hermione watched them carefully, hoping that whatever James was telling Lily would be accepted.

The head girl turned and beckoned Hermione over, and cautiously she went. She found herself pulled into Lily's fierce embrace, and suddenly Hermione was hugging her back, finding that Lily was the only one of the females that had the motherly comfort so young.

"Don't let him hurt you, Jane," Lily whispered firmly in her ear. "He'll only get to you if you left him."

"I know," Hermione murmured, her voice tight. Lily pulled back, and looked her in the eyes, concerned out of her mind.

"I'm so sorry for being mad at you all along. I had no idea what was going on," Lily apologized. Hermione smiled faintly, and nodded.

"I'm sorry for not explaining," she muttered quietly. Lily touched her shoulder in a sisterly way, and then turned and left, without James, for breakfast.

James watched his girlfriend leave, a distant look in his eyes, before he turned to Hermione. He held out his elbow.

"Milady," he offered, throwing a charming smile at Hermione. She grinned, and tucked her hand in the crook of his arm, and together they walked.

"So, here's what's in queue for today: Lily is going to talk to Remus for you, and try to enlighten him a little bit about what's going on. I gave her minimum details of everything you told me, and she agreed," James informed her.

Hermione smiled at him, and then took a re-glance at the boy who was talking. It suddenly struck her _so hard_ how much Harry looked like his father. Although Hermione had seen Harry's compassion and love from Lily's nature, James had a soft heart deep beneath his arrogance.

"Jane?"

"Sorry," Hermione apologize, snapping out of her nostalgic reverie. "Thank you though, for talking to her for me." _I feel like I'm too cowardly to do it myself._

"Not a problem. I don't know if Remus will agree to talk with you today, so I gave her a deadline of a week," James said offhandedly.

"You gave your girlfriend a deadline?"

"Why not?" Hermione scoffed playfully and rolled her eyes at him.

"Anyways, the prank has been completed, somewhat. The potion has taken its effect, Narcissa Black is blabbing her head off about it to everyone, and the only thing Sirius and I are waiting for is for Malfoy to make another appearance. When he does, we'll have Sirius on your other arm," James said happily, grinning.

"What about Emma?" Hermione knew that somehow, she had tread onto dangerous ground.

James looked slightly crestfallen. "I forgot about that," he murmured to himself. He sighed and looked down at the girl holding onto his arm. "They're fighting. Emma can be one jealous bitch, and she's _convinced_ you're out to steal Sirius."

"That's ridiculous! Why would I fancy Sirius?" she cried, throwing her hands up exasperatedly.

"Well, you did tell her you didn't fancy Remus…"

"But that was _ages_ ago, Harry," she complained, cupping her forehead.

"Jane," he sighed. Hermione looked up at him; "You called me Harry again."

"God," she muttered to herself. "I'm sorry, James. You just—"

"I know," he interrupted softly. He smiled at her, and she could not stop the faint upturn of her lips. James was one of a kind.

Hermione _hated_ calling him Harry, but yet she got the two boys mixed up so easily, especially when James was being so kind like this.

"So, Emma thinks that because you said you don't fancy Remus, you _must_ fancy Sirius, and she'll have _none_ of that," James announced airily, waving his hands about in a feminine fashion. Hermione had to laugh aloud at this.

"So I just have to tell her I don't fancy Sirius," Hermione reasoned.

"Not only that," James added, sighing. "You'll have to tell her you fancy Remus."

"I can't do that!" she said, scandalized. "She's mad at me as it is, and she'll just go and spread that about the whole school."

"It's not like the whole school doesn't already know, Jane," James said sharply, looking over at her. "Why worry about the gossip that's already there?"

"They'll think I'm a floozy," she sighed.

"They _already_ think you're a floozy," he pointed out. "I mean, with all this rubbish about you and Lucius Malfoy… Jane, you've got nowhere to go but up. Don't worry about it."

Hermione heaved a worried sigh, and decided that James was right. "Alright," Hermione agreed quietly. "I'll tell her."

"Good," James said. "Just be prepared to announce it when we get into the great hall."

"I have to do it at breakfast?" Hermione uttered, horrified.

"You'll procrastinate," James spoke wisely. "And plus, Lily's bracing herself to hold Emma back as soon as you start talking to her. Emma's looking for a fight today, and you're going to have to stop it before it happens."

"Dear God…"

James grinned wickedly. "And that's entertainment for me. Catfight!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. _No wonder I mix him up with Harry_, she thought sarcastically.

_-x-x-x-_

"Now," James ordered. Hermione grimaced, bracing herself, and slowly left James' side. She approached Emma's back, glancing up Lily who was watching carefully. "You _have_ to do this, remember." Hermione nodded, and left the safety of James' side.

Hermione reached out and tapped Emma's shoulder, her fingers shaking. "Emma?" she asked quietly. The girl went still, and then slowly, dangerously, turned to face Hermione. There was an enraged glint in Emma's eyes, and Hermione realized just what she was dealing with.

_This isn't going to be easy, Hermione_, she thought to herself. _But you can't be a coward. Face her!_

"_What_?" Emma spat. Hermione took a silent, deep breath.

"I need to talk to you, and to apologize to you," Hermione said quickly, before she lost her nerve. Emma turned for a moment, and then got out of her seat and stood, staring Hermione in the eye.

James was silent and unmoving behind Hermione, and Lily was creeping up on the other side of them. The group of students in the general area had sensed the tension, and now, they were all waiting for the instigation to a fight.

Emma looked at Hermione expectantly, and Hermione started to speak rapidly. "Look, Emma, I'm sorry for what I said the other day. I was in a terrible mood, and I was just being mean to everyone," she apologized. So far, there had been no stumbles in her words, but that did not guarantee her safety.

"And I wanted to apologize about the whole fiasco between Sirius and I," she said. There it was, the first fatal mistake. Hermione realized instantly what she had said, what it implied, and went to fix it quickly. "Let me rephrase that, I—"

_Smack._

Hermione went silent, unmoving, and suddenly realized her cheek was aflame. Emma had struck her, and now she was seething.

"_I knew it_!" Emma screamed at her, and rose her fist again. "I _knew_ you were fooling around with him!"

Lily jumped forward and grabbed Emma around the waist before she could lunge at Hermione. She started screaming incoherent words, and soon there were students cheering them on. The teachers noticed the steadily brewing fight, and they moved towards the Gryffindor girls.

"No!" Hermione roared back. "Sirius and I are _friends_! I don't fancy him, I swear to _God_!" There was a terrifying anger in Hermione that she could not suppress, and the urge to strike Emma back across the face was alarming her. She fought herself, though, and Hermione remained logical.

"That's such a lie! You told us you didn't fancy Remus, so who _else_ would you go after!?" Emma snarled back, desperately trying to break free of Lily's grasp.

"James, _help_ me you imbecile!" Lily shouted at him. He jumped forward, but suddenly he was too late; Emma shrieked and lunged for Hermione, who moved out of the way just in time.

"I lied! Emma, I lied! I did fancy Remus!" And now Hermione realized that Remus was in earshot, and very much interested in what was going on.

"Say it, Jane!" James yelled at her.

This was her moment of truth. It was now or never for Hermione, and as much as time seemed to stand still at that very moment, she said it. She yelled it aloud, she screamed it to the gods; she shouted it at Emma, at Lily, at James, at Sirius… and at Remus.

"I _do_ fancy Remus!" Hermione screamed at Emma. "I did, and I always _have_! I've been in such a mess about Malfoy that I couldn't do a damn thing about it because the damned Slytherin wouldn't let me!" she bellowed.

"I fancy him, alright!? _I—fancy—Remus—LUPIN. Are you all happy now_!?" she exclaimed, her voice ringing through the hall.

Conversations had died down, and everyone was silent.

Trembling, Hermione stared back at Emma, and understood that tears had been falling quite steadily down her cheeks. She went to speak, but all that came out was a broken sob.

And still, she had never discovered what courage possessed her to do it; she turned to Remus, looked him straight in the eye and spoke to him.

"And I'm sorry for all that I've done to you," she croaked, her whole body trembling.

Remus was tense, and he was stunned. His auburn eyes were wide with surprise, and his mouth had fallen open. Never had Hermione felt something so strong rush through her as she stared at him. There was spark, anyone could see it; hell, everyone _did_ see it.

He closed his mouth, blinked a few times, and nodded at her.

Hermione could've yelled out in joy, but instead she let out a wail, turned on her heel, and ran from the scene as fast as she could.

James looked after her, and went to follow her hurriedly. Lily grabbed his arm, and shook her head.

"This needs female attention, James. Just watch Emma," she whispered. And with that, she took off after Hermione, following the trail of tears that were splattered on the ground.

_-x-x-x-_

Hermione didn't care that she was missing class. She didn't care that a ruthless teacher or two would deduct points for her absence. At the moment, she couldn't give a damn about anything.

Except for him.

Maybe there was a chance for her redemption, she couldn't tell. She had broken down in front of too many people to count, and Remus had seen how miserable she really was. If it weren't for the fact that she had just recently blurted his darkest secret out to a very powerful person, than maybe she had a chance for his forgiveness.

Otherwise, she believed that he wished her to rot in hell.

Lily, predictably, found Hermione sobbing her heart out on her bed, the hangings wrenched shut. The head girl slowly opened the door, careful to be almost silent. However, there was an audible creak, and Hermione sniffed sharply, quiet for a moment.

"Go away, Lily," she moaned, her voice muffled, presumably into a pillow.

Totally ignoring her wish, Lily approached the bed, pulling the curtains back slowly. "I admire you," she whispered gently. "It took some _damn_ nerve to say all of that. Especially in front of Remus."

At the mention of his name, Hermione wailed into her pillow. Lily rubbed her shoulder soothingly, murmuring comforting words to her. "You've been through so much these last couple of months, and I think we've all been a bit ignorant as to what's been going on."

"Of course you've been ignorant," Hermione spat, still sounding miserable. "I can't tell anyone what's going on." _How bad of a mistake was it to say that?_

It caught Lily's attention; "Who's been stopping you?"

Hermione knew that she would end up telling Lily the pathetic story of how badly Lucius was controlling her. "Malfoy. He's got people doing his dirty work for him all over the place, and—and he's even got Remus against me whether he knows it or not."

Lily laughed. "Remus is an onlooker on all of this, Jane. Trust me," she comforted.

Hermione turned, sitting up and staring Lily in the eyes, frantic. "No, Lily, you don't know what I'm talking about."

"And _you_ don't know what _I'm _talking about," Lily countered, grinning. Hermione sniffed warily, and looked at her expectantly.

"Remus and Sanders got into a huge fight in the library today. She thinks that Remus is jealous of the non-existent relationship between you and Malfoy, and Sanders is jealous of _you_," Lily explained brightly, an unusual mischievous glint in her eyes.

"What?" Hermione was stunned.

"And he was so uptight about it, he said, and I quote, _what shit do you have to poison my mind with_? Remus was _so_ livid with her, lemme tell you," Lily said matter-of-factly.

"But how—how could she suspect him? I mean, he's showed me nothing but—" Hermione sighed and shook her head, realization falling upon her. "False pretenses. Maybe she needed to say that…" _because Lucius wanted to make sure he had Remus under control. Rose was playing him for a fool—again._

"What?" Lily asked immediately.

Hermione groaned. "Lily, you have no idea how much control Lucius Malfoy has over this situation. It's like… he controls where I go, who I'm with, who my friends are. You know, the reason most of you stopped talking to me was because Remus was ignoring me, and I mean, why would you neglect a friend you've known for seven years instead of a friend you've known for months?"

Lily looked guilty, and Hermione knew she had caught the girl red-handed.

"Exactly, Lily. So all Malfoy had to do was tell Rose to set Remus against me, and _voila_, so it has been done. Rose has been keeping Remus under close watch, because as soon as he starts to regard me with neutral feelings, the Slytherins are in trouble," Hermione explained swiftly, relieved that she was piecing together most of the mystery.

"But that still doesn't explain why Remus has suddenly started to mistrust his own girlfriend," Lily murmured quietly.

"James said something to him, I think. He's seen Rose acting more than friendly with Malfoy, and he would only tell Remus what had happened if it was better for them to separate."

"Which is what we want," Lily deduced.

"Exactly."

Hermione wiped her puffy cheeks and watched as Lily was pulled into a furious storm of thought.

"We need to do it," Lily whispered.

"_What_?"

"He'll never break it off with her. I mean, look, this is revenge for you, isn't it?" Lily reasoned.

"Yeah, but James and Sirius have already done something for me," Hermione said.

"But only to keep Lucius away from you. We need Remus to like you again, maybe even fancy you," Lily planned.

"Good luck with that," Hermione mumbled sarcastically. Lily scowled.

"It'll never happen with that pessimistic mood, Jane," Lily said. Hermione sighed into her hands, and thought miserably, _what else have I to loose?_

"Fine," she agreed quietly. Lily beamed. "But this better work."

"Oh, it will, don't worry," Lily said mischievously. She grinned, and grabbed Hermione's wrist. "I'll need a day or so to plan this, so we need to get to class."

Hermione sat up a little straighter. "Oh god," she moaned. "I forgot; this is going to be hell!"

"Just shut up, and let's go."

So, Hermione allowed herself to be pulled along. She had a day to face Malfoy and Rose, and she was _not_ looking forward to that. Malfoy surely had to be in classes today, or else there would be consequences.

He was going to be livid with her, and Hermione knew it. She just had to watch her back for just a few a few more hours, with James' help, of course, and she'd be safe and protected.

But it wasn't just Lucius Malfoy she had to avoid; Remus, it seemed, had much more potential in hurting her in a very different way than Lucius Malfoy ever had.

And everybody knew it.

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Notes:** Hokay that is completed. I really hope you liked that chapter; it originally was supposed to be waaaaay longer than this, with like, millions of different things going on, but hopefully I can fit that into the next chapter. I got caught up with the dialogue and the progress between Remus and Hermione and forgot about the events that needed to take place instead. Hehe.

So we're one chapter closer to the end! I hope you guys are pulling through!

Oh, and I am still on hiatus, but I just felt bad for you guys!

So, like always, **please review!**


	13. A Dangerous Revenge

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter, just Jane Lewis and Rose and some other people.

I have a tendency to end up splitting chapters in half because they're already so big does not accept them. ANYWHO, here's the second half of last chapter!

Enjoy, because we are drawing to a close.

**Still So Close to You  
By Darkwing731**

((--Chapter Fourteen--))  
A Dangerous Revenge

-

_So, Hermione allowed herself to be pulled along. She had a day to face Malfoy and Rose, and she was not looking forward to that. Malfoy surely had to be in classes today, or else there would be consequences. _

_He was going to be livid with her, and Hermione knew it. She just had to watch her back for just a few a few more hours, with James' help, of course, and she'd be safe and protected._

_But it wasn't just Lucius Malfoy she had to avoid; Remus, it seemed, had much more potential in hurting her in a very different way than Lucius Malfoy ever had._

_And everybody knew it._

Hermione did not want to be in class today. She did not want to be near the population of the world, much less the school. She did not want to be anywhere in the vicinity of Remus Lupin.

It was very fortunate for her, however, that despite her sobbing outburst that the entire school _did_ hear, it was not the main focus of the day. Oh no, today that title was reserved for one person only: Lucius Malfoy.

In the back of her mind, Hermione really did know what had occurred that faithful night when Lucius and Narcissa had a little fun. She didn't want to acknowledge it, because owning up to knowing about it meant a lot of trouble for her. Still, she knew, and it just helped to make her day a little brighter.

Hull, presumably, was in a bad mood. Lily and Hermione were late for class, and points were taken off of the Gryffindor house. Few people looked at them, but instead were staring at Malfoy and giggling like a disease had been released.

Hermione cautiously sat down next to Lucius, still frustrated that he was her partner through all of this chaos he had put her through, but clearly amused by the day's events. Malfoy had his forehead cupped, and was glaring at the table, a faint flush to his cheeks.

Hermione smirked a little, and glanced over at him; she wanted to embarrass him so badly, but she knew she never would… at least not to his face.

"Well don't let their late entrance interrupt you; continue with your potions!" Hull barked. Students bustled around the room, retrieving and dispersing ingredients about their table. Hermione glanced at the board and took down the notes necessary for the potion.

There was nothing on their table, and Hermione sighed, got up and went to the cabinet to fetch some things for the potion. She was pushing things aside, when she heard a little cough.

"Excuse me…" She froze at the voice, familiar and sounding sincere. She turned slowly, her body like stone, to face Remus. "I uh… I need ingredients."

"Oh," she squeaked, and jumped out of his way. "Go-go ahead."

"Well no, I'll wait if you still need—"

"It's fine," Hermione interrupted, terribly humiliated. She was positive that Remus could hear her roaring heart. She brushed a lock of hair out of her face, and by the heat of her cheeks she knew she was a flustered scarlet.

Remus was quiet as he moved things around. When he was done, he hesitated, and turned stiffly around to face her. He stopped and looked at her, his mouth open, as if he wanted desperately to say something but there was just a plug in his throat.

"Listen, Jane… I—"

"Lewis," Hull barked. Remus looked half-relieved and half-exasperated at the professor's interruption. Hermione couldn't decipher what she felt over the panic in her mind.

"Yes?" she answered, her voice unusually high.

"Because you thought it fit to leave in the middle of Lupin's last tutoring session, I want you two back here tonight," she instructed. The mention of their last session drained the color from Hermione's face.

"Tonight?" Hermione repeated, thinking quickly. "When?"

"9:15," Hull replied.

Hermione was suddenly overcome by dread; she would have to step into Slytherin territory, at night, most likely alone, before the shield was completed. This spelled out disaster for her more than anything else.

_I need James here with me_, she mused hastily. _He needs to be down her in his cloak._

"Good; you can come, Lupin?" Hull inquired, eyeing him sharply. He nodded; Hermione chanced a fleeting look at him, and he looked rather nervous. Avoiding eye contact, he turned and went back to his partner.

Hermione sighed, wishing to steady the beating of her heart. This session tonight meant so many things, and however awkward it might start out to be, she felt as if there would be some progression between the two of them. Perhaps Remus _was_ going to apologize to her had Hull not interrupted them. It was a very nice thought, but Hermione knew better than to assume.

She began pushing aside more things until she found the powder that she needed. She grabbed it, took a vile of Salamander blood, turned around to return to her seat before dropping everything on the floor.

Malfoy was right up against her, and Hermione shoved herself up against the cabinet, overcome with a sudden fear and a deep urge to get away from him.

"You listen to me, Granger," Lucius whispered slowly, his voice hoarse and serious. "I will get you back for this… all of this. You _cannot_ get away with it; I will hunt you down. Don't you _dare_ doubt me."

Fortunately for Hermione, the Marauders (and everyone else) noticed Malfoy threatening her. Lily waltzed up to the pair of them without hesitation in her step, smirking.

"Hey Malfoy, is it just me or are your trousers a bit looser?" Lily asked loudly. The room broke out into snickers, and Malfoy whipped around and faced the courageous Muggle-born. "Did you loose weight, or did something else get _smaller_?"

However furious Lucius Malfoy was, he was mortified, and the red of his face took away whatever intimidation he had. People were shrieking with laughter at Lily's comment, and the redhead smirked, grabbed some new ingredients, and returned to her seat with a spring in her step.

Lucius gave Hermione a deadly glare; _I will get you for this_, he mouthed, and despite the nervousness she felt at this, she laughed in his face.

"Quiet!" Hull snarled. "Malfoy, return to your seat and shut your mouth before I give you another detention!"

"Get bent, you old hag!" Malfoy spat back at her. The class was in an uncontrollable uproar at this, and when Malfoy stormed out of the room, no one cared that Hull chased after him, screaming her head off.

Hermione returned to her seat, feeling pleased with the situation. She turned to Lily, and grinned.

"I love you!" she cried. "That was brilliant."

Lily smirked, flicked her hair over her shoulder and laughed along with the rest of the group. It took a moment for Hermione to notice Remus staring intensely at her, but as soon as the moment came, he looked away.

Hermione settled back to her work, finding herself more pleased than she thought possible. _Maybe… today might be a good day._

_-x-x-x-_

Narcissa Black was a very flirtatious person, and she had to admit, she enjoyed what she got in the end. She knew most girls disliked her, many of them in her own house, but she had friends far and wide, and could easily be called popular.

Today she was seeking out her younger sister, Andromeda, because the girl was a 4th year and had probably received the wrong story of Narcissa's brilliant discovery.

Smirking, she pounced on her sister out in the courtyard, scaring the daylights out of her.

"Tell me what you've heard," Narcissa said at once. Andromeda quickly adopted her sister's excited mood.

"I heard Malfoy has no goods, and that he uses and illusion spell instead," Andromeda told her. "Is it true? I know I'd get the story from you, Cissa, but no one believed me."

"Oh dear, I will tell you. Come on," Narcissa said hastily, pulling her sibling away from the group of friends, all eager for the gossip.

"He had goods… but they're very…" Narcissa startled giggling, and she couldn't speak for a minute. "Oh Merlin… how should I say this?"

"Tiny?" Andromeda supplied curiously.

"Exactly!" Narcissa cried, and the two girls were trembling with laughter. "He's been so mortified about it, I can't believe it!"

"Well, there's got to be something wrong then," Andromeda said, thinking about it.

"Yes, I knew that. A number of my friends have been his bedmate before, and I've heard nothing but good stories from them. No, someone interfered."

"Who, then?" Andromeda asked. The two of them started walking slowly into the foyer, talking quietly.

"I have an idea," Narcissa whispered cautiously, looking around to make sure that no one was listening. "You know that new Mudblood in Gryffindor, who Lucius has been pursuing?"

"Isn't her surname Lewis, or something? I know I've heard Rose Sanders complaining about her," Andromeda commented.

"Yes, her," Narcissa answered. "Well, I know she doesn't like him very much, so this must be her revenge, or something of the likes."

"You think she's that brave to do something like that, especially in her situation?" Andromeda asked quietly.

"I can't be sure, but—"

"Cousin _Cissa_! How _are_ you? Sleep with anything tiny lately?" The voice was very sarcastic, and Narcissa twitched in annoyance before she turned to face Sirius Black and his friend, Potter.

"Go away, you fool," Narcissa spat.

Potter and Sirius grinned at each other. "Malfoy not as good as he usually is in bed, huh? That's what I've been hearing." The boys laughed at this. "But then again, why would he put in much effort for a menial 6th year?"

"Well, you know Siri, it _is_ the truth, after all. I mean, it was common knowledge before," Potter said, sounding half serious before he started snorting. "But tell us, _Cissa_, how is he?"

Her face twisted in anger, Narcissa replied: "It's none of your business who I'm with."

"Ah, but it's the school's business. If half of your friends weren't as loose-mouthed as they are, then no one would know," Sirius countered.

Andromeda watched silently, her mind swirling with thought; these boys seemed to know an awfully large amount of information for Gryffindors.

"You did it," Andromeda accused suddenly, her voice small. Sirius and James looked at her, surprised, and Narcissa smiled proudly.

"Aw, little Andro, you better shut your face before you get hurt," Sirius said sweetly. "Talking is for adults only!"

"Don't you _dare_ insult her, Sirius Black, or you'll find yourself worse off than Lucius Malfoy," Narcissa snarled, whipping out her wand. She pointed it threateningly at the two boys.

"You both did it, and every time this story gets retold, you'll be in it," Andromeda said, eyes narrowed. "You can't get away with doing this to Lucius!"

"You sound protective," Potter said offhandedly. "Perhaps you'd like to sleep with him too?"

At Andromeda's flush of humiliation, Narcissa spat at them. "You better watch it, you lowly fools! If we can't get to you, there are plenty of easier ways to hurt those girls you strive to protect so much."

Both Gryffindors took offense at this. Snarling, Potter said, "I'd kill you all before you got near them!"

Narcissa smiled darkly, weaving her arm between her sister's, and started to stroll away.

"Well then, you better watch them closely," she called over her shoulder, a plan already formulating in her mind. The girls entered the castle with no further response from Sirius or Potter.

"What's going on, Cissa? What're you going to do?" Andromeda asked cautiously. Angered at the boys' threats and words toward her sister, she answered.

"I'm getting revenge for you_ and_ Lucius. It's time they felt the fear," she said in a low voice. Eyes narrowed, she marched for the great hall, leaving a pondering Andromeda behind.

"Come on, we have gossip to spread," she called over her shoulder to her younger sister.

Frowning, Andromeda followed. She had a feeling things were about to get a lot worse.

_-x-x-x-_

"Bastards, bastards, bastards," James chanted, stabbing his food. Lily sighed, annoyed, and continued eating.

"Bastards!" Sirius agreed, holding his cup towards James.

"Bastards," James muttered, clinking the glasses together before downing the liquid.

He went back to chanting, and Hermione almost lost her mind. "Shut up!" she cried.

"They won't," Lily said, shaking her head. Hermione cried out and started banging her head on the table.

The Marauders were all eating dinner, and so far, the day had gone by without incident for Hermione. She was relieved, really, but nervous for the night to come. Bad things were going to happen, and she knew it.

Malfoy had been absent for the rest of the day, and she had seen Narcissa Black fluttering about the great hall, talking to every female she could find. Soon enough, the tale was heard by everyone.

"This is ridiculous," Hermione heard Remus cry from several seats away. "What the hell is going on?"

She hadn't noticed until she looked around; every eye that was trained on the Gryffindors seemed to be dark, furious, and vengeful.

"This is not good," Lily muttered, taking James hand in her. He was still chanting, but he looked up and around, his words weak, and dying.

"Bastards?" he asked quietly. He looked to Sirius, who was unusually pale.

"Prongs, this is bad," Sirius said suddenly. "I didn't believe her, I really didn't!"

"What's going on?" Lily demanded.

"They're just girls, they can't do much," James answered Sirius, somewhat hesitant.

"Malfoy has too many cronies to count! We've faced them all before, but nothing like this has every happened to Malfoy! We might be green and silver for years!" he cried.

"It might be worse than green and silver," Hermione said quietly, finally understanding what the boys were talking about. "It might be a _lot_ worse.'

James and Sirius exchanged worried looks, and James suddenly grabbed Lily protectively. The redhead was still with surprise and suspicion.

"I'm not leaving your side tonight," James declared loudly in her ear.

"Um, I have an eardrum and I need to keep it, so please, no screaming," Lily replied, wincing.

"Where's Emma?" Sirius asked, standing up and looking around.

"I haven't seen her all day," Lily informed him.

"Mooney?" Sirius asked. Remus looked up. "Emma? Seen her around at all?"

"Nope," Remus answered. "Nor have I seen Wormtail… or Rose, or Malfoy, or—" He stopped suddenly. "What did you two do?" he asked suspiciously.

Hermione buried her head in her hands, and realized, finally, that the consequences of James' and Sirius' actions would not only affect them, but her as well.

"Wonderful," she muttered sarcastically.

­_-x-x-x-_

It was an obscene amount of homework, they all agreed, but Hermione and Lily were the only ones that seemed to want to get it done right at that moment.

"Potter," Lily growled (and not for the first time that night); "Will you _shut up_ and do something?"

"No," James answered, aiming at quill at Sirius and cheering when it hit him on the nose. Sirius giggled and did the same to James.

"Then leave," Lily ordered, frustrated. "I'm trying to do some work, _Head Boy_, and you're distracting me!"

"You need to calm down, Lilykins," James sniffed at her, ducking out of the quill's way. Sirius groaned, jumped down to the floor and started searching for it.

"No, you need to grow up," Lily spat. She threw down her quill. "I realize you want to be near us, but you need to shut your damn face, or I'll do it for you!"

"Kinky," James said dryly. "And how will you do that?"

"UGH!" Lily shrieked. She stood and started shoving all of her things into her bag. Papers were being ripped in half, book pages crumpled, but Lily took no notice of it. "You are _so_ immature, Potter!"

She snatched up her back, threw her hair over her shoulder and stormed out of the library.

"Lilykins! _Please_! Please wait!" James hurried after her, clearly amused by his girlfriend's attitude.

Hermione shook her head, ignoring the painful memory of her and Ron; Lily and James seemed to represent the two of them, whether Hermione and Ron were dating or not.

"Jane," Sirius called from under the table. "Are you wearing blue knickers or green? I can't tell from this angle."

"_Sirius_!" Hermione whispered in outrage, and quickly leaned under the table. Sirius was cackling to himself a few good meters away, happy that he had tricked her.

He climbed up and settled into a chair across from Hermione. "So, Jane," he started. Hermione quirked an eyebrow and stared at him.

Sirius stared back, unblinking. "What was with that outburst in the great hall?" he asked finally.

Hermione looked away, fingering her quill nervously and trying desperately to act busy with her essay. "Mmmph," she mumbled at last, unsure of how to answer.

Unmoved by her nonverbal response, Sirius started to talk. "You know, I do think Mooney fancies you, and I think he has for a while. I mean, I know he's been dating that hot Slytherin whore, but still! Prongs did that for the longest time just to make Lily jealous."

"Did it work?" Hermione asked, very interested all of a sudden.

"…Eventually," Sirius said slowly, inspecting his fingernails. "But see, Mooney isn't like Prongs; he's very… reserved, you could say. And he's also a lot smarter than us, so what he does to make you fancy him would usually work."

"Well, he really didn't have to do much," Hermione muttered. Sirius grinned at her, and she buried her head into her hands.

"I don't know why he's been ignoring himself though; he's been acting very different, ever since you came into the picture," Sirius informed her.

"Why are you being so helpful?" Hermione asked suspiciously. Sirius smiled happily at her.

"Because it's nice to be loved, that's why," he answered. There was a long, silent pause between her response; a silence in which she scrutinized him carefully with a hard look.

"What do you mean?" she asked finally, unsure of what Sirius could've meant.

"Don't you have to be somewhere at nine?" Sirius asked loudly, ignoring her question. Hermione looked at her watch.

"Damn," she muttered. "Will you walk with me, Sirius?" she asked quietly.

"Sure," he said. "Anything to get out of this library; Lily seems to be married to it."

Hermione laughed awkwardly at this, knowing several people had said the same about her.

Walking down to the dungeons wasn't so bad, because Sirius was just as bouncy and lighthearted as he usually was. Thankfully he said nothing of Remus and herself, so their conversation was smooth and humorous.

"So uh, what's going on between you and Emma?" she asked carefully. This subject could be easily directed towards her and Remus, but she was willing to risk that to find out if Emma was still angry with her.

"Truthfully, I have no idea. Ever since this morning she's disappeared. I looked for her at lunch, and the class after that—"

"So that's why you weren't in charms," Hermione interrupted.

"Yeah. But I couldn't find her anywhere."

"That's strange. Didn't, uh, someone say that Peter was missing too?" she inquired.

"Remus said that," Sirius corrected, throwing a playful smirk at her. "But Wormtail's been really distant lately."

"Do you know why?" she replied cautiously; this was very dangerous ground for her to be treading on, she knew, but getting Sirius' opinion on his traitorous best friend was too good to resist.

"No idea," he replied, and Hermione accepted that this conversation was not destined to continue.

"What time is it?" Sirius asked her. Hermione yawned, and rolled up her sleeve, reading the time.

"It's just about—"

"_Sirius_!" Hermione and Sirius turned around; Emma was running down the hallway.

"Emma!" Sirius yelled joyfully. She jumped into his arms, and hugged him tightly. "Where _have_ you been?"

"I needed to think," she answered. Slowly, Emma turned to Hermione, who tried to seem calm and not expectant of an apology.

"Jane," she started. "I still don't trust you, which means, in so many words, that I don't trust Sirius. However, I can respect the fact that you being in love with Remus might confuse you, since I never thought anyone would want to be with him… which is why you fancied Sirius. But I know you two never did anything."

Hermione's jaw dropped. "You're joking, surely," she spluttered.

Emma gave her a cold look. "Does it look like it?" Not waiting for Hermione's stammering response, she took Sirius by the arm and pulled him away.

"So, Siri, I just need to talk to you about a few things…" and they were gone, leaving Hermione alone, and surely, vulnerable.

"Come back," Hermione whispered, slowly freezing up in terror.

Sirius had left. James was with Lily; she hadn't a damn clue where Remus was, but she wished he was here, just to keep her company.

_Calm down, and take out your wand, you stupid fool_, her mind chided. Hermione did as such, and taking a deep breath she continued down the hallway, her body on high alert for anything out of the ordinary.

She walked quickly, almost jogging, but she forced herself to stay under control. Any moment now, Lucius and his stupid friends would jump out from behind a corner and grab her, and she would be done for.

She glanced down hurriedly at her watch: _9:08_. Just a few more minutes, and she would be within the safety of a classroom, under the supervision of a teacher. Just a short time until Lucius could never hurt her again. Just a few minutes until she would be alone with Remus, and things would slowly patch back together… hopefully.

She turned a corner and almost ran into another girl.

"I'm sorry!" Hermione gasped, stepping back. "I was just in a hurry, and—"

They were Slytherins. All of them.

Hermione stopped short, gazing at the pack of girls before her with wide eyes. And now, everything seemed to fit.

_They're just girls, they can't do much…_

Hermione recognized the leader of the group as Narcissa. Stunning in youth, Narcissa would keep her elegant looks until the day she died, Hermione knew. But that just hid the awful interior.

"Well well, look who it is. Mudblood Lewis," Narcissa drawled.

_She could already be a Malfoy_, Hermione thought suddenly, aware of the fear in her throat. She took a timid step back, her mind blank with fear, until Narcissa's wand was trained to Hermione.

_I have a wand. And I'm Hermione Granger. What the hell?_

"_Expelliarmus_!" Hermione snarled suddenly. "_Confundus_!_ Petrificus Totalus_!" There was a wild shriek among the girls, several of them panicking at the hexes that were thrown.

Hermione took the chance that she had, and ran like hell.

"Stop her!" Narcissa shrieked, her voice a commanding force. The girls took chase after Hermione, who was now flooded with fear and could do nothing but run.

_Find safety_, was all she could manage to think. _Hide_.

Hermione was far ahead of the Slytherins, but they could easily catch up with her. Sprinting, she rounded another corner and spotted a door. She grabbed the handle, threw herself inside without a moment's hesitation, and closed the door quickly.

Pressing herself up to the wood, Hermione listened; there were angry cries and rushing footsteps as the mob of girls ran by. She listened carefully, waiting until echoes of their footsteps had faded into the night.

"That was close," she whispered to herself, breathing deeply. Her heart was racing in panic, and she knew that she had closely avoiding an attack. She had no idea what they would've done to her, had Hermione not fought back at once. But she knew whatever they would've done, it wouldn't have been very pretty. "Too close."

She dimmed her wand light and hurried back down the corridor. She needed to get to Hull's room, and now. She stopped at a corner, peeking around before continuing her way. She would hurry, yes, but she would be more cautious.

She hurried down into the darkness, relieved that she was almost to her destination. She stopped for a moment, panting, and studied her watch. 9:13. Two minutes, only two minutes. Surely she could last that long.

Picking up her pace again, she slowly jogged down the hallway. Just another turn and Hull's classroom was there, in the middle of the hall. She was going to get there, easily, and there was no way that she could be attacked now, definitely not.

Yet, as that comforting thought graced her mind, Hermione knew around the last corner, _he_ would be waiting.

She slowed down, and stopped. Around her was the ever-consuming darkness, her dim wand the only source of light and safety. From here, she could turn around and go back, or face Malfoy once and for all.

She didn't have a choice, really. She knew that if she went back, he would catch up, and either way, he would get her.

She moved before she lost her nerve, and exactly as she had predicted, there stood Malfoy and his gang.

"You don't look surprised," Malfoy drawled.

"That's because I'm not. I knew you would be at this last corner," Hermione said quietly. "You can't do anything to me, not with Hull's door right there. She's expecting me this very minute. All I have to do is scream, and she'll come, and you'll be expelled," Hermione threatened.

Smirking, Lucius ignited his wand, and looked into her eyes. Suddenly she was overcome and terrified, her body restrained and her screaming muffled. Her captor struggled to hold her still from behind, but Hermione's frightened body could not be halted.

"Which is exactly why we're not staying," Lucius said dryly. He signaled to his followers, and led the way slowly away from Hermione's only safety.

Now, she was in the clutches of Lucius Malfoy. And he was not going to allow her to escape, not again.

Tonight, she would be his. Once and for all.

_-x-x-x-_

"Why am I always late?" Remus muttered angrily, shoving chocolate into his mouth. The full moon was coming, and he was growing weaker. He had to hurry though, or Jane was going to be wandering around in Slytherin territory, looking for him.

_I doubt it_, he thought bitterly to himself. _She's got to think of me as the biggest arse in the world._

Rubbing his eyes in weariness, he continued down the hall. It was always dark in this castle, and he particularly hated these dungeons. They were abnormally creepy, and it always felt as if there were someone lurking just beyond sight, hidden by the infinite shadows, waiting to kill.

_Or maybe that's just me_, he thought cynically. _My alter-ego. Hah._

It was sad that he thought of himself that way, but really, Remus hated his vicious problem. Merlin, he would've done anything just to not be a werewolf for a _month_, just _once_, just one sweet time, but he knew it was impossible.

Sighing, he flung open Hull's door.

"Sorry I'm late," he called. "I got caught up on some homework." Remus put down his things and looked at the professor, who was sitting at her desk with a very annoyed look on her face.

"Where's Jane?" Remus asked suddenly. He glanced around; none of her things were there.

"I was about to ask you the same thing, Lupin. Go find her," Hull ordered. "I'll be waiting."

_I get to run around in the dark. Splendid_, Remus thought savagely. He threw a mean look at Hull, and left the room.

He ambled around aimlessly for a few minutes, his ears pricked but his mind undoubtedly bored. He didn't mind looking for Jane, but he just hated that she wasn't there, or making herself easier to find.

"Jane!" Remus called. "Hull is livid!" His voice echoed and faded into the swallowing darkness. He had a lingering feeling that his voice was unheard. "Jane?" he called out again.

"Wonderful. Where the hell is she?" He moved a bit faster now, remembering that he had once saved her from Lucius Malfoy down in these hallways… maybe tonight, she needed to be saved again.

"Shit," he realized, knowing at once that Malfoy had her held captive.

He ran around screaming her name, his heart racing in fear. He stumbled, the light feeble and breaking as he moved quickly and ungracefully.

"_Jane_!" he shouted, his voice clearly panicked. "_JAN_—"

He was met with a sight so shocking that the bellow died right in his throat.

He could not see through them, but still, he had a horrible, dreadful feeling in his stomach what was going on. There was a small crowd of Slytherins, all spectators to the surely disgusting, horrifying display before them.

His feet were heavy, almost cemented into the ground, but he forced himself to push through them. He stopped, his mouth open in shock and his emotions surging in fury.

They had silenced Jane Lewis, taken away her wand and banded her hands to the wall. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, her face twisted into miserable fear. She was screaming, but no one could hear her. No one there wanted to her hear her terrified voice, not even Remus. It would've split his heart in pieces.

Malfoy was up against her, doing as he wished with her helpless, trembling body. Her shirt was open, her skin naked and more exposed than Remus had ever imagined it to be. One hand was twined in her hand, pulling back her neck to a painful angle, and the other he couldn't see. Remus didn't want to think about where it could be.

"We've all been waiting for this, Remus," a voice said quietly to his left. He turned to his girlfriend, stunned at her pleased smile. "She deserved it so much."

The surreal, shocking reality took a hold on him suddenly, and Remus felt like God was shaking him furiously. Things seemed to stop for a moment, his vision splitting in two, bile rising in his throat, before he gained just a little control of his own body.

He was startled by his own yelling, but forced it once he understood it was him. "_Stop it_!" Remus shrieked at Malfoy. "_STOP_!"

He was lost in his own fury; Remus attacked Malfoy without warning, and ripped the Slytherin off of Jane. Malfoy was thrown the floor, but still, he looked up at Remus and smiled darkly.

Wiping his mouth, he smirked. "You can't protect her anymore, Lupin," Malfoy drawled, smiling. "She's mine."

"She's _mine_, you jerk!" Remus screamed. "Don't _ever_ go near her again!" He was panting jaggedly, his body hunched and tensed and resembling his werewolf state more than he would've liked to admit.

"Leave!" Remus roared. "All of you _get OUT of here_!"

Malfoy stood, and brushed himself off. He had accomplished what he wanted, and he would only fight the Mudblood indirectly from now on. He threw a twisted smile at Remus, turned and left. The rest of the group silently followed, a mixture of girls and boys.

Rose approached Remus cautiously, a hesitant look about her face. "Remus—"

"Don't ever talk to me again, you sick _bitch_," Remus snarled, his knuckles white as he clenched his wand. "I can't _believe_ I ever trusted you."

He gave her a stony, cold look. She stared at Remus, unmoved, before her expression gave way to one of pure anger. She turned and left without another word, and Remus could not have been more grateful.

The anger and disgust dissipating from his body, he immediately turned to Jane. Her head was hung, her body sagging on the binds at her wrists. He undid them, quickly, and caught her as she fell to the floor.

"_Finite_," he murmured, his wand to her throat.

A small, broken noise slipped from her throat before she crumbled in Remus' arms. He held her without feeling guilty that he had arrived late; he was just thankful he had arrived in time to save her.

He stroked her hair, shushing her, feeling almost as miserable for Jane as he did for himself once a month. This was the worst thing he could imagine ever happening to her; the ordeal the girl had gone through ever since she had arrived had been because of him. Malfoy did just as much as him, but Remus knew the bastard didn't care what he did to Jane.

"_Shh_," Remus whispered. "They're gone. You're safe…" _with me_, he added silently.

Her only response was her muffled sobs. She pulled her clothing around her exposed torso, and buried her head into his shoulder.

Tonight, both of them forgot the painful things they felt for each other.

_-x-x-x-_

"Janie, please, I'm sorry!" James pleaded. Hermione was silently doing her homework in the library, and James Potter was on his knees in front of her, begging.

"It was Lily! She distracted me! I—we—" Hermione gave him a cold look. He looked timid; "Bastards?" he asked in a small voice, his eyes round.

Hermione lifted her head in the air, and started to put away her things. James jumped up and tried to stop her, but she gave him a very cold look; he recoiled noticeably, and she continued on her way.

"Please—"

"You should've been there," she snarled, whipping around to face him. James resembled a very lost, frightened puppy. However, she narrowed her eyes at him and stalked out of the library.

James frowned, feeling very depressed. It wasn't his fault, it really wasn't! He knew he had to protect Jane, and he knew she needed his help, but the girl was brilliant, she had a wand, and she had that armor against Malfoy!

_That doesn't cut it, Prongs_, he thought miserably to himself, dropping down into a chair and cupping his face. He rubbed his eyes. _Something might've happened, and it was because **you** weren't there_.

James dug around in his bag and pulled out a small object. Wiping the surface, he lowered his face to the mirror, and whispered: "Sirius Black."

Sirius' face appeared, bright as ever. "Prongsie, m'boy!"

"Sirius, were you with Jane last night 'round 9?" he asked quickly.

Sirius pretended to stroke his chin in thought, but then nodded. "Till Emma ambushed me and brought me to the Room of Requirement," he informed with a suggestive smirk.

James narrowed his eyes, thinking. "What did she say to you?"

"About what?" Sirius asked.

"Anything involving Jane or Remus," Prongs answered.

"She said some weird rubbish about Jane being in love with Remus, but loving me just because she could… and then she was rambling on and on about how Jane was gonna get it for trying to seduce me. Seriously, as if she actually _needed_ to seduce me," Sirius laughed.

"Merlin," James groaned. "This is bad. Okay, thanks, Padfoot. I have to find Mooney. Has he got his mirror on him?"

"Lemme check—" Sirius put down the mirror for a moment, and disappeared. James listened intently to his rustling. "Yeah, he's got it."

"Good." There was a significant pause, tense, before Sirius spoke again.

"What's going on, Prongs? Why are you so into their business?" he asked quietly.

"Because something is wrong, Padfoot. There's a damn traitor in our house, and I need to know who it is," James murmured. He stared at Sirius through the mirror, and the boy looked back, his grey eyes haunted.

"She wouldn't," Sirius whispered at last, finally understanding what James had implied. James nodded sadly.

"I have to talk to Mooney first. Don't say anything, Sirius." Sirius looked upset, broken even that his friend would do this to him.

"It wasn't her," Sirius protested weakly.

"Well who was it then?" James hissed, angry. "There isn't anyone else in our house that would set Jane up!"

Sirius looked away, sighed heavily, and the mirror faded to black. James regretted hurting his best mate so, but really, Jane needed protection from everyone, even herself.

James growled in frustration and slammed the mirror onto the table, wishing his friends weren't so loyal, so hurting them would not hurt _him_ so badly. He hated doing this, but Jane Lewis had trusted James so much… she had so many secrets, and she was on the brink of loosing everything, her life before anything else.

She had told him once, that if she were to be honest, they would all die. Everyone, and probably everything.

James would've thought this absurd and mocked her for saying something so idiotic, but then, her voice was terrified, her eyes wide with fear as she allowed him the information. After that, he found himself completely indebted to her.

"Remus Lupin," he whispered to the mirror. It was a long time before Remus picked up.

Annoyed, Remus hissed at James. "_What_? I'm in the middle of something!"

"How bad was Jane after last night?" James asked quietly. Remus looked solemn, suddenly.

"I can't say, at the moment. We need to talk… something is very wrong, Prongs," Remus whispered, glancing around.

James nodded grimly, his eyes hard. "And I know just how it happened."

_-x-x-x-_

Lily pressed herself up against the door, her ear glued to the wood. She kept still, avoided breathing, and focused all of the will in her body to understand what she was hearing.

"We only have one more chance to do this, Danes," Rose said quietly. "The armor against Lucius has already been started, so he can't finish what he's begun. We have to do this… _you_ have to do this."

"I know," Emma sighed. "Really, it's just hard. I need to meet with the Illimni more often."

"You know how difficult it is," Rose hissed. "Our Lord is not pleased that it's taking this long. Stop Granger, and do it now!"

"Well I told you, I need help!" Emma snarled. "All of you know I'm not the creative of the bunch. Don't let me think; tell me what to do, _exactly_ what to do, and I will!"

It sounded like Rose was pacing, thinking frantically. Lily's mind was dashing through thousand of possibilities, her mouth hanging open; she was engrossed in this insidious plan of theirs, but confused more than ever. Who the _hell_ was Granger?

Finally, Rose spoke. "Find her things, her diary. Research her background, what she knows and her secrets. Make _sure_ to keep track of the people she mentions, and tell me as soon as you can."

"Alright. By when?"

"As soon as possible. Time is our friend, fortunately. Our Lord has given us another two and a half months, until the end of school. By then, the Illimni will have Mudblood Granger out of the way," Rose said quietly.

"I'll do what it takes," Emma pledged seriously.

"Good," Rose said delicately. "By the time school has ended, everyone will know Jane Lewis for what she really is: a traitor."

Lily's eyes were wide, the breath wiped from her body. Without a moment's thought, she turned and ran.

Now, she was the only one who could put a stop to this.

_**-**_  
_**-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Notes:** MWAHAH. So now, the Slytherins aren't the only ones who know who Hermione Granger is! –dances around evilly- This story is just getting good! I think another ten chapters may do the trick!

Thanks for the support, guys! **Please review!**


	14. Whispers of the Past

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, but I do own Jane Lewis, and now Emma Danes! Hurray for the inevitable surname!

Aaanyway we've got tiny little spoilers in here, and this is starting to wrap up. I'm still debating on a few things, but whatevs! If I add in these little secrets, it might take longer, but then, the plot will be smoking! Ahh well, you'll see!

Enjoy!

**Still So Close to You  
By Darkwing731**

((--Chapter Fifteen--))  
Whispers of the Past

-

_"I'll do what it takes," Emma pledged seriously._

_"Good," Rose said delicately. "By the time school has ended, everyone will know Jane Lewis for what she really is: a traitor." _

_Lily's eyes were wide, the breath wiped from her body. Without a moment's thought, she turned and ran._

_Now, she was the only one who could put a stop to this._

_-_

"Tell me," James urged. Remus made a big gesture, his face extremely uncomfortable, and sighed.

"It's hard. I'm sorry," he apologized. "I feel like… it's her business."

"You didn't care before!" James snapped. "I am _so_ privy to this information if _you_ were privy to this information, savvy?"

"Are you a pirate?" Remus asked suspiciously.

"Indeed. Caption Potter, head of the Butt Pirates."

"Splendid," Remus said dryly.

"You're avoiding the conversation," James accused, and he incessantly pestered for the details of Malfoy's attack.

"Look, Prongs, I _can't_!" Remus cried. "It didn't happen to me, and—"

"She's not going to say anything about it," James interrupted gravely. "Think about it: victims of sexual harassment, or any kind of that shit, never talk about it because they think they're making a big deal out of it. What if Jane was raped, Mooney? You think she's going to shout out to the Great Hall that she was raped by Lucius Malfoy?"

"No," Remus muttered.

"Yeah, exactly! She'd think that she was weaker than a twig if she did that, because that's what happens," James explained. "Now, my point is, we _need to help her_."

"I know," Remus moaned. He buried his face in his hands, but refused to speak anymore.

"Tell me, Remus," James growled.

"Prongs—"

"_REMUS_!" James screamed, jumping up. The werewolf flinched, terrified.

Remus got up slowly and walked away, pacing. He stopped for a moment, and turned around and looked at James, his face twisted with emotion. He started, his words forced and broken, but quickly the story fell from his lips.

"They—she was up against the wall. Malfoy was being… savage with her. He wanted to shut her up like someone dousing a fire. He was all over her, and all of her clothes were ripped and hanging off… and there were so many people… just—just _watching_. It was disgusting!" Remus concluded, feeling nauseous at the thought. James was silent, his eyes pensive in grim thought.

Remus seemed helpless, his movements shaky as he relived the experience. "And I couldn't move… I couldn't do a damn thing about it, and when I finally just snapped… they left. And—and she was so _broken_. I think—I think it might've happened, James," Remus whispered cautiously. "He might've—" but he couldn't go on. He turned away, his throat dry and tight, like a fist was closing around his windpipe.

"Forced her?" James supplied quietly.

"Yes," Remus grunted. He turned back to James, his eyes shining with vindication. "It's horrible."

"Well, we need to do something about it. And we need to help Jane!" James exclaimed, running a hand through his hair in agitation.

"Yeah, I realize this, but—"

Without warning, Lily came tumbling through the door, panting. She was shaking like a leaf, her face terrified, and she looked panicked about something.

"_James_!" she shrieked. James looked more frightened than Remus had ever seen him as Lily ran to him.

"Lily, what—"

Lily grabbed him and shook him, hard, and Remus was surprised at her anger. "How could we be so _STUPID_?" she bellowed. She looked livid, but still, wild out her mind. Remus took a tiny step backwards.

"Breathe, Lily, and tell me what happened," James instructed sternly. Lily growled loudly, and started shaking James.

"It's _Jane_, you fool! We've all been so blind! She's—" Lily stopped suddenly, and quieted.

"Where is Sirius?" she whispered darkly. James looked into her eyes, and there was a brief moment where Remus felt as if they were a single person, ying and yang, separated by the barriers of a body but conjoined in mind. And he, well, he was out of the picture.

"You know, don't you?" James asked grimly.

"The stupid bitch. She's been doing it all along," Lily snarled. "I listened, James, and I know what they're doing! I know what they're going to do to her!"

"We have to stop this," James murmured.

Remus had had enough; Lily and James did this sometimes, this weird thing where they were the same person and had the exact same thoughts. Onlookers were forgotten, and only they could hear each other. He hated it.

"Enough!" Remus bellowed. "Tell me what the _hell_ is going on!"

Lily and James exchanged a dark look.

"There are things… you need to know," Lily began slowly. "I only know so much, but what I _do_ know is more important than anything else. And James can verify it."

"Well, what is it?" Remus asked, confused.

"You might want to sit, Remus," Lily suggested, but he remained standing. She took a breath, the thoughts in her mind confused and jumbled, but overall, she grasped what needed to be done, and began.

"Jane… is not who we think."

However, she could not imagine the things that she had started to unravel.

_-x-x-x-_

Hermione was very pleased with herself that she had successfully blocked prior events from her mind completely. She knew what had happened to her, yes, but she refused to acknowledge it. She would do things very normally, and never would the horrifying memory cross her mind.

Still though, every little thing she did reminded her of the night. Slytherins, yelling, crowds, _anything_ would trigger it and again she would be reminded.

Hermione hated thinking about it, hated the little things that snatched the event from the safe she had stored it away in. But she had to, and she knew it. She would relive it, pick apart every little detail, and slowly her heart would turn to stone about the matter.

It didn't matter to her anymore, no matter how painful it _had_ been, because now, it couldn't hurt her anymore.

"Transfiguration… just a foot, that's alright. Potions, still a lot to be completed…" Hermione was muttering to herself again, recording all the essays and homework that had to be done. She was with Lily in the Library, and both of them were working hard.

"Did we have Herbology, Lily?" Hermione asked absentmindedly.

"No." Hermione scribbled that down.

"Astronomy?"

"Nope."

"When was the essay due in—"

"Next Wednesday."

Lily had been very brusque with Hermione lately, and it did not escape the brunette. Things were getting a bit… odd. Lily, James and Remus were frequently found whispering to each other, looking paranoid and frustrated. Hermione would not allow her mind to stray to things that they could be discussing.

Peter had entered the picture again, and however much it angered Hermione, she said nothing. She realized she was straying again from the group, but then, it wasn't as if she were spectacularly close with them to begin with. Not since the very beginning.

Peter's mother had been murdered. Everyone had been wondering what was going on with him, and for weeks she had been dead. Hermione had overheard Sirius and James talking about it, for they had approached him several times.

She sighed, and put away her things. Ever since that night, Hermione had been someone else entirely, off in a distant place. Her intellect was still there, her morals, but her spirit had gone completely.

Everyone had noticed, just as she had, but no one said a word.

"I'll see you Lily," Hermione said quietly, standing. "I have things to do elsewhere."

"Alright. Bye," Lily said absently. Hermione looked at her for a moment, before she finally left.

Lily waited a good five minutes until she stood up and approached Madam Pince.

"Err, I was wondering if you had any detailed books on organizations," Lily inquired. Madam Pince gave her a suspicious look.

"What do you mean, 'organizations'?" she demanded.

Shifting uncomfortably, Lily answered, "Like famous groups of people that, err… did things." _So pathetic_, her mind moaned.

"Are you looking for something specific?" Lily didn't know how subtly she could ask about the touchy subject she had in mind. What she was looking for, well, she wasn't sure if it was even known to the world.

"I'm trying to research some group called the Illimni," she replied uncomfortably.

Madam Pince went very still, and gave Lily a searching look. The redhead was confused for just a moment, before she understood what a mistake she had made. The Librarian looked shocked, but soon her eyes flashed with anger.

"Leave, Miss Evans," Pince ordered sharply.

"But, wait—"

"Out!" Madam Pince snapped, ignoring Lily's protests. The redhead narrowed her eyes, a snarl on her lips, but turned on her heel and stormed away.

"Hag," she whispered viciously to herself. "There _has_ to be something in here."

Lily grabbed her things, thinking harder than she had in a while. Where would the precious information be, and how could she get it?

_The Restricted Section. A note_, her mind supplied.

"Who's going to give me a note?" she asked herself bitterly. "There's another way, surely."

Angry, she hitched her bag over her shoulder and left the library. She could inquire Remus about it, that boy knew more useless rubbish than Lily did. Still though, it was likely that Remus hadn't a clue about this odd group. Lily had never heard of it before, and she read _a lot_.

On the other hand, she had more pressing matters to deal with.

Lily entered the great hall a good time later, and sat down next to Emma for lunch.

"Hey Em," she said brightly. "What the hell is with all this homework?"

While the conversation progressed, Lily smiled to herself. She needed to brush up on her subtlety anyway, and investigating Emma's intentions and motivations was the perfect way to do it.

_-x-x-x-_

Narcissa sashayed down the hallway, very aware that several males were watching her. She smirked to herself, and continued on her way.

Alone in Slytherin territory, she was just waiting for someone to approach her. It was a common thing to be confronted, but she was used to the exchanges down in the dungeons, and she handled the verbal attacks like an entrepreneur would deal with business.

However, she was not expecting Lucius Malfoy to be her main attention today.

He approached her silently, and with an arm around her waist, he only startled Narcissa.

"Hello there," she purred. She enjoyed being around Lucius Malfoy; they thought the very alike, and had the same acquaintances. Both of them were of very prestigious pureblood families.

A smirk played across his lips, suggestion in his eyes. "I was wondering if I might have a word with you," he said smoothly. She nodded, smiling.

"Alone," he added in a whisper, and she noticed the look in his eyes.

Looking away, she stopped the snicker that longed to slip from her lips.

"Well, Lucius _dear_, the last time that happened I experienced… very _little_. I don't mean to be blunt, but I would rather it not happen again," she said delicately. She refused to look back at him, knowing that the laughter in her eyes would be cruel.

Lucius chuckled for a moment before leaning down to her ear. "Indeed," he agreed, and nipped her neck. She gave him a surprised look. "I wanted to persuade you; now there is much _more_ to be discussed again, Narcissa."

They stopped walking for a moment, and he took her hands in his own. She looked up to him, searching his eyes, before smiling. He did the same, satisfied. He bent down and kissed her, and pulled her body against his.

"This time, you will experience much more," he murmured against her lips. She giggled, and wound her hands around his neck, deepening the kiss they were sharing.

Within moments they were engrossed in each other, their bodies moving in a sensual rhythm only stopped by their clothing.

"Let's go," she breathed, breaking their kiss for only a moment. Grabbing his hand, she led him away hurriedly to a more private place where they could enjoy each other.

The talk Narcissa would spread about the next day would only be positive about Lucius, much to his content. And the only gossip about him soon after would be that Narcissa had found herself a permanent bedmate… and possibly the best companion she would ever have.

_-x-x-x-_

"Cloak? You—_why_?" James stammered to Lily's demanding. "In fact… how did you know I had one?"

"Come off it Potter," Lily sighed. "Just give me the damn thing."

"Tell me why, first," he insisted. Lily sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed, knowing she would never get anywhere unless she told James what she knew.

"I was in the library, and I asked Madam Pince if she had any books on this group called the Illimni, and she went bonkers and sent me out. It's either in the Restricted Section, or Dumbledore has it," Lily explained, twisting her hands worriedly.

"And this has _what_ to do with Jane?" James inquired, sitting next to her. Lily shook her head, and after a long moment where they could only hear each other breathing, Lily answered.

"I don't know. But I think… everything." She looked back up at James, her emerald green eyes round with fear. "James… what the hell is happening?"

He pulled Lily into an embrace, and the two of them were still, thoughts racing through their minds, but their bodies tense with distraught.

"I'm coming with you," he murmured. Lily pulled away from him, and shook her head.

"No; I've got something you need to do for me. It concerns Emma," Lily said darkly. He narrowed his eyes as she went on. "I need to look through her things… and I need to hide something from her."

"Like what?" Lily stood and started pacing, thinking deeply.

"Jane's journal. I know she's got one, because that day she went into hysterics in Charms, but I just don't know where she keeps it. Emma likes the dorm, so I need you to keep her engaged in conversation while I look around."

"Alright," James agreed. "What should I talk to her about? I can't really focus on conversation with girls…" Lily threw him a dirty look and he smiled cheekily. "I'm actually very serious, Lilykins. Girls are hard to talk to. They… ramble. A lot."

"I'm aware of this," Lily snapped. "I _am_ female, if _you_ haven't noticed."

"Oh,_ I've_ noticed," he said suggestively, and she rolled her eyes.

"Sirius. Or Peter's mum… or something. Just ask her about her life and she'll start talking as fast as the wind. Just… ask questions about Sirius," Lily instructed.

"She'll get suspicious," James said with a sigh. Lily thought for a moment.

"You're right. But then again, they haven't been the closest couple lately. And she knows that. Just act the part of the concerned mate. She'll buy it," Lily said.

"Hopefully," James muttered, sinking back into his bed. Lily crossed the room and lied next to him. "You can always dig through her stuff another day; I _want_ to go with you tonight, in case something happens."

"Alright," Lily agreed. "You can talk to her tomorrow, then." He nodded, and pulled her close. Holding each other, Lily felt so helpless in this string of events. Still, she wanted to do everything that she could.

"It has to work, James," she assured him quietly. He reached up and ran a hand over her cheek, coiling her auburn hair in his fingers.

With a sigh, he nodded. "It better, Lily, or something worse is going to happen."

_-x-x-x-_

Emma wrung her hands, frowning and nervous. She was supposed to meet Rose almost a quarter of an hour ago, and the Slytherin hadn't shown up. Emma _hated_ standing in the dark like a fool; if a Prefect came by at this time of night, she was done for.

She jumped at the sudden sound to her right, but deflated in relief as Rose stepped out of the darkness. The Slytherin looked mildly annoyed.

"Sorry I'm late," she said coldly, not sorry at all. "Do you have it?"

Emma shifted, and shook her head. "I-I couldn't find it. I ripped everything apart, but it was gone."

Rose let out a deep growl, and took a menacing step closer to the girl. "You _knew_ about this, Danes! You had this mission for a _long time_. And did you do it? _NO_! You stupid little Gryffindor—I _knew_ you couldn't do this."

Emma was silent; she didn't trust herself to say another word to the Head of the Illimni, or else she was done for. Out of the group and publicly humiliated, Emma's life could just be destroyed if she made the wrong move.

Rose sighed sharply and started pacing. After a moment of thought, she turned back on Emma, looking furious, but desperate. "You are the _only_ one who can do this, Danes. I'll give you another week, and some help. You do this, or you know what'll happen."

Emma swallowed the fear in her throat, and nodded. "I'll find a way, I promise."

Rose's face twisted up in disgust, and she gave Emma a condescending look. "You better," she hissed. Without another word, she turned on her heel and disappeared into the darkness.

Emma sighed, rubbed her weary eyes and ignored the flutter of terror in her heart. She turned, lit up her wand and walked back to her dormitory as quickly as she could.

Ten feet or so from where she had been standing, Lily and James exchanged a dark look under the Invisibility Cloak. Lily wasn't lying, that was for sure.

"Let's go," James murmured. Silently, with the Marauder's Map in hand, the couple made their way to the library, intending to solve more of the mystery that they had been tangled in.

_-x-x-x-_

Slowly, Emma tacked the photos on the bulletin board, one by one, with only the glow of the fire to guide her hands. A dark look on her face, she imagined the damage she was doing to Hermione Granger, and smiled a little to herself.

She took a moment to admire her work; the numerous pictures, showing the Muggle-born in the arms of Lucius Malfoy, gave a very bad name to Jane Lewis. All still photographs, they were only dipped in ink for moments before taken out; had they been left in any longer, the moving image of Hermione would've looked terrified and looking desperately for escape, and the right idea would be planted in everyone's minds. Instead, the brunette looked like she was pulling Malfoy closer, getting deeper into their kiss.

Emma reached into her pocket, and pulled out the headline that she wanted to accompany photos. She held it against the bulletin, searching her pocket for a tack, and froze at the sound of a familiar cough.

"S-_Sirius_," she stammered, stepping away from the pictures at once. Suddenly, nothing made sense any more to her. Sirius looked angry, betrayed; awful things were going to happen to her family, just because her boyfriend caught her in the middle of the night.

She groped around for an excuse; tears streamed down her cheeks as her mind raced. She let out a weak noise, and fell to her knees, crawling toward him, begging silently.

"They made me!" she wailed, covering her face with a kind of fake shame that made her want to laugh. "They were going to _kill_ me!"

Sniffing, she looked back up to her boyfriend; they had been growing a bit distant lately, and this was going to create a bigger rift between them. They needed to keep together, or else her cover was blown. Still, she wanted them to be close… but not too close.

She could only see half of his face by the way he was standing. The fire was low, and his face was illuminated with a soft orange glow. He was staring at the ground, but she could still see the sinew of his clenched jaw.

"Please believe me," she whispered, sitting upright. She clutched around, and stood for a second, moving toward him slowly.

He looked up at her sharply. "Believe what, Emma? That it really wasn't you? That none of this damage, this _shit_ that is happening to an innocent person isn't because of _you_?" he snarled.

He grabbed hold of her suddenly, digging his hands into her arms. She let out a squeak of pain as he started shaking her rather violently. "Why would you _do_ this?!" he bellowed, furious. "_How_?"

She ripped away from him. "You don't understand, Sirius," she growled. "You have _no idea_ what's been going on because of _her_! People are in _danger_, and I'm trying to stop it!"

"Or trying to promote it!" he spat back. "I may not be the fastest broom in the shed, but _do not_ feed me this _rubbish_ and expect me to believe it, you lying little _whore_!"

"Ex_cuse_ me?" she shrieked. "You—_you_—" She trembled with rage, and wanted to shake him and hurt him so badly. "You _cannot_ call me unfaithful! I worshipped you! I _still_ do! I would _never_ cheat on you!"

"I'm not accusing you of that, Emma," he spat. "You're an attention whore! This is all for you, isn't it? Everyone liked Jane more, you got jealous, so this is just some scheme you made up to make her look bad! Why?" he demanded, shaking his hands. He lunged, and grabbed her shoulders again. "Why?" he repeated, quietly this time.

Emma looked up at him, and started to cry. She sunk into his arms, bawling into his shoulder, her body weak and needing his support. Without a word of protest or questions, he had his arms around her, trying to soothe her, trying to be the boyfriend and the love that he had always been to her.

And secretly, she smiled. It was true, he was not the smartest thing, but even the bare facts led him to the wrong conclusion.

She hugged Sirius closer to her, grateful for this protective source that would blind the truth that had been discovered, but not understood. Whatever he would say wouldn't be as bad as it could be…

_-x-x-x-_

Remus sighed and flipped the page, not bothering to take notes. He couldn't even focus on this essay anymore. At the moments, things were _insane_. James and Lily had somehow morphed permanently into the same person, knowing _exactly_ what was going on in each others mind; Sirius and Emma were acting incredibly odd, as if they were fighting but confused about being angry. And Jane… he couldn't even think about her anymore. Well, he could think about the non-existing Jane that he wished was real… not this strange, incredible girl with a false identity and a lot of information.

He rubbed his eyes wearily and started to pack up his things. He couldn't get homework done now; there was a dangerous mystery that the Marauders had been pulled into… Remus especially. He needed to help more than anyone else… after all; he was the one that did this damage, indirectly or not.

He shoved his things into his bag, stuffing papers into notebooks and quills through assignments. He was so distracted, so angry, that he fumbled with whatever was in his hand, and the contents of his bag spilled all over the floor before he could prevent it.

Cursing so loudly the Librarian hissed at him, he grumbled and put things back in his bag as hastily as he could. He groped around, scanning for anything he might've missed, when he clutched an object that he hadn't thought about in a long time.

Slowly, Remus lifted the small book to his face: the Christmas present that Jane had given him. It had been empty when she had given it to him, but he remembered…

Turning the book over, he saw the initials inscribed into the back: _HG_ and _RL_, sitting atop each other. He ran a finger over the grove of them, and was plunged into deep thought.

"_They called her Granger… _"

_H. Granger _was Jane Lewis. Remus tried putting things together, and couldn't come to a logical conclusion. Things were working out, not with everything they had discovered. They were missing one thing, one huge important clue that would bring all of the mess together so they could stop it.

Remus just couldn't figure out what.

They needed to know, whatever it was. But maybe… maybe they weren't examining the details correctly… maybe things had to be done _outside_ of the box.

And suddenly, a glorious, clarifying thought came upon him.

He hurriedly shoved the book into his pocket, and crammed the rest of the things into his bag. Quickly, he ran from the library and sprinted all the way to Gryffindor Tower, his heart racing as he pondered the idea that was so crazy that it could be possible.

"_Canis Major_," Remus panted, coming to a halt in front of the portrait. It swung forward, and Remus pushed through the people with ordinary lives, walking slowly as they gossiped and laughed, needing pursue the things in his own temperamental life.

Remus flew faster than he ever had, throwing the door to the Boys Dormitory open. He lunged for James' bed, tripping on his own cloak and toppling into James' trunk. Cursing and rolling over, Remus threw the top open and dug around furiously, muttering madly to himself. His eyes were round and his fingers were trembling as his hand brushed the object he was looking for.

"Oh Merlin…" he moaned, digging it out as he fought to control the panic that was seizing him. "Please—_please_ let this be right."

He ripped out the Marauders Map, opened it quickly, and held his wand to it.

"_I solemnly swear_—" Remus shrieked and fell backwards, clasping the Map to his chest like a first born son. "W-_Why are you in here_?"

Emma was sitting innocently on Sirius' bed. She looked so calm and ignorant instead of curious as to what Remus could've been doing that it raised suspicion in the werewolf immediately.

"I'm waiting for Sirius," she replied smoothly. She stared at him, straight in the eye, and did not bother to glance at the Map.

Remus gave her a hard, long look, folding up the precious parchment in his hands and putting it slowly into his pocket.

"He's not here," Remus said finally, breaking the cold silence. Emma remained still, but arched an eyebrow at him.

"Get out," Remus blurted, and felt proud and ashamed at the same time.

"You can't tell me what to do, _Lupin_," she sneered, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm waiting for my boyfriend. I can do whatever the _hell_ I please if it concerns him."

Remus took a glance at Sirius' area; things seemed as messy and disgusting as they usually did. However, one area was just to clean to be called his own; it seemed as if someone had been snooping and attempted to cover their tracks—

"So, he wouldn't mind you going through his things?" Remus asked with mock-curiosity. Emma let out a hiss, and Remus narrowed his eyes at her. "Out, Emma! Get the _hell_ out!"

Emma's face twisted up in a snarl, but she stood up nevertheless. "Let me tell you something, you deranged little _beast_," she spat. "When everything gets messy, everyone will know that _you_ started it. I'll make sure of that."

She stormed past him, shoving him out of her path, and slammed the door as hard as she could on her way out. Remus glared at the still door, his ears still ringing from the scream of the door.

Checking to see that no one else was in the dormitory, Remus jumped onto his bed, and pulled out his map, unfolding the delicate edges.

"_I solemnly swear that I am up to no good_," he whispered as quietly as he could. Inky blackness spread out over the parchment, as a spider would spin her web; intricate details, words and numbers, glowing runes and soft edges twisted and morphed until everything was still.

In his hands, Remus inspected the Map with such meticulous thoroughness it seemed to take him hours to do. He checked every last crevice and spot that was listed on the castle; he studied every floor, examined each tower, and observed every last nook and cranny of the grounds that was sketched on the map.

She was nowhere to be found; not H. Granger or Jane Lewis. Nowhere.

Remus sighed and fell back onto his bed, thinking with a sort of desperateness that it scared him to recognize it. What was his motivation, really? Why was he doing this for some stranger?

_You're in love_, something whispered in the back of his mind, some irrational, drunk voice that he didn't like to listen to very often. Things were logical in that part of his mind.

_I can't be. Love like that isn't real_, he argued bitterly. Remus had had a hard life, and the only love he had every felt was from friends and family; he couldn't expect a girl to fall in love with _him_, the _werewolf_.

_Yes it is… you just haven't found it… until now_.

Remus was very tempted to just scream out in frustration. Instead of that, he cleared his mind as best as he could, and thought: _where would I go to be alone?_

_The Whomping Willow_, he thought immediately. _Or…_

Remus sat up abruptly and scanned the Map for the seventh floor. Sure enough, there was a single person walking quickly down the hallway, slowing down at certain times and speeding up at others.

It was her. Jane Lewis. H Granger.

_Hermione Granger._

His fingers reached out and touched the name delicately as his mind started racing. Jane—_Hermione_, whoever the hell she was… needed help.

He had solved one mystery, and now, he needed to solve another.

He glanced back down at her name, and sighed. He traced her path a few times, and looked ahead to her destination; in her path there were a number of unmoving people, waiting by a corner.

Names flashed through his mind: _Black, Black, Parkinson, Danes, Black, Avery, Snape, Nott, Malfoy…_

Slytherins. Traitors.,

"No!" Remus yelled. "_Mischief Managed_!" Remus stuffed the Map into his pocket, grabbed his wand, and ran faster than he had ever in his life.

He tore out of the dormitory and the Gryffindor Tower, knocking people over and yelling in panic as he sprinted. Things seemed to slow down, his body much heavier and more difficult to move than ever. His breath was caught in his throat, his heart clawing its way out of his chest, blood roaring in his ears.

Suddenly it was all a blur; a scream of surprise echoed in his ears, pain erupted in his body, and when he opened his eyes he had her in his arms… Hermione Granger.

Remus had a vice grip on her arm, and an arm strung around her waist tightly. He wrenched her closer and picked her up; oblivious to her noises of confusion and protest, he started running the way she had come with her squirming body in his arms.

"Remus, you maniac!" she yelled, kicking at him angrily. "Put me _down_!"

"Quiet!" he hissed. He screeched to a stop and dropped her; she squeaked as she hit the floor, but started yelling again as he grabbed her hand and dragged her down the hallway.

"You have to _move_!" he shouted at her, his voice tight and frightened. Hermione heard and recognized his tone, and suddenly the color in her face drained.

She understood.

The two of them started sprinting down the hallway, running away from the danger that had been waiting for them. Hearts pounding, they passed the Room of Requirement.

Remus tried to stop so suddenly that he fell over. Thinking out loud, he ran back and forth by the Room of Requirement while Hermione shifted, shaking with anxiousness.

"A safe place, a safe place, a safe place," he muttered hastily, his hands trembling as he ran them through his hair.

A wooden door appeared, and Remus grabbed Hermione around the waist, snatched the doorknob, and threw her in, jumping in after her. They were closed up in a replica of the Gryffindor Common Room, with no one in it except the two them.

Remus stumbled and fell to the ground; he was shaking hard, feeling so worried and panicked that it felt as if someone had tried to kill him. He curled up into a ball, and the terror that ran through his body finally came to rest in the pit of his stomach.

"Remus?" Hermione touched his shoulder worriedly, and jumped back when the boy turned and started retching.

Remus huddled to the ground, the vile spilling from his body laced with the fear that had been overcoming him. He coughed, his throat burning, and fell away from the vomit on the ground.

He let out a shaky sigh and ran his hands over his face, pressing his palms into his stinging eyes. He felt her hands on his shoulders, gentle and comforting.

"Are you alright, Remus?" Hermione asked quietly, concerned more about him than anything else that was happening at the moment.

He lowered his hands and stared up at her. She realized that he looked ready to start crying; speechless and worried, she did the only thing she could. She pulled him into an embrace and tried not to cry in the fear of what was happening.

They were close, tied together and inseparable; fierce and worried, it was a long time before either of them released the tension from their bodies and pulled away from the comfort that they gave each other.

"What's happening?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whispered. She looked at him, unable to find anything within her except a dry, scared sob that could express how lost she felt.

He said nothing, but instead slowly reached up and touched her cheek. Hermione's brown eyes were round with confusion and worry, but she remained silent. He stroked her cheek, his icy fingers trembling. His eyes were mournful and dark; she wished she could soothe his mind, put a stop to whatever was causing this strange behavior.

"Tell me, Remus. Tell me what they did," she urged quietly. "What's wrong? Please, Merlin, _please_ let me help you."

He shook his head and let out a dry, cold laugh. "You can't help _me_. God… no one can help me." He looked up at her again, almost fondly this time. He reached up and stroked her cheek, a faint smile on his lips.

"Let me help you. Please… let all of us help you," he murmured back. "You're too _proud…_you know how combined forces work better. Let me help you… _please_."

"You can't," she argued back at once. She dropped her eyes. "I can't endanger you… any of you. You're all… too precious to harm." She didn't bother to look at Remus, and with a bitterness that seemed to break her own heart, she stood up and walked away from him. "You wouldn't understand, Remus. Just let me be… I can do this on my own."

"I know I can help you, if you'll just let me!" he protested, standing up himself, wiping his mouth. He dug around in his pockets and found chocolate, and shoved it in his mouth, needing the spurt of energy more than ever.

Hermione shook her head. Remus swallowed, taking the time to search for the right way into winning her over.

"You're convinced you're alone, and you're _not_. I don't know why you can't see that! There are _so many people_ that want to help you," he objected, his voice a sad moan.

Hermione whipped around and faced him, her eyes hard. "You haven't seen the pictures, have you Remus?"

Confusion struck him, and he knew that something was wrong, that something else had been added to this concoction. "What pictures?"

"You remember that day, in Charms, when I couldn't find my journal and I started going frantic? You remember how _Malfoy_ always seemed to have a hold over me? Well now _everyone_ knows because the pictures they took of him _forcing_ himself on me made me look like a tramp!" she yelled, scandalized and humiliated. Her throat was suddenly tied up, dry and tight, and she couldn't swallow the knot that had appeared.

"They _tricked _me, again and again! I couldn't do a damn thing about it, and Malfoy _knew it_!" she screamed, tears falling from her furious, bitter eyes. "So he shoved me against a wall and _stupid_ Rose Sanders got pictures! And they're _still_! They don't _move_!"

Hermione struggled for a moment, a growl in her throat that clawed its way out in a scream of raw anger. "_Why_?" she bellowed, her body shaking from the anger that was pouring through her. "_Why me_? _Why **always** me_!?"

Remus remained silent as she started snatching objects and hurling them into the nearest wall, a guttural, bestial noise following every smash. Remus sunk down to the floor next to the mantle place, cringing as every breakable object in the room was destroyed.

Hermione fought her emotions and anger until there was nothing else in her to fight against. Quiet, gasping sobs followed as she finally calmed down, cradling her head in her arms against the couch.

She sniffed and brushed away the last of her tears when she came to her senses at last; she looked up to Remus, who was staring at her with a sort of intensity that she hadn't seen before in him.

"I can help you," he offered simply. He shrugged, and rubbed his eyes. "There's nothing else I can do or say than that… I know you don't want my help, but hell, you _need_ it and I know it scares you to admit that."

"You don't get it, Remus," she answered, her voice thick from her tears.

"No, you don't get it, Jane," he shot back at once. And suddenly, to him, it all made sense.

"Remus, you just have to—"

"Hermione." Hermione went absolutely silent, her eyes wide and her mouth open in shock. Her movement ceased as the blood in her veins ran cold. "Hermione _Granger_, for Merlin's sake!" he yelled. Remus pushed himself up and crossed to her.

"You couldn't hide it forever, you know! Not from them, and not from me!" he explained in a hard voice. "I don't know _why_ you couldn't have been honest from the start; why would I care who you were? Who you _are_?"

"I could ask _you_ the very same question," she shot back at once, unsure of where her courage had come from. "I'm scared of people _knowing _who I am like _you_ are afraid of people knowing _what_ you are!"

"Don't hold that against me," he mumbled, dropping into the couch next to her.

"I'm _not_ holding it against you, Remus, and I never _was_! From the start I knew who you were, what you were, and you know, I loved you anyway!" she cried. "Don't you see that none of this _matters_?"

"You loved me?" he repeated immediately; his tone had changed suddenly, and he sounded almost faint.

"I did… and I do," she confirmed quietly. She lowered her eyes and refused to meet his gaze. "You just couldn't love me back, Remus, and I accepted that."

"Hermione…" His tone, _god_ it was familiar—she looked up at him, a strange feeling rising in her chest and confusion in her eyes. "I was just scared to love you back… but I'm not. Not anymore." The air around them changed with amazing speed; the bitterness was now replaced with a new sort of tension… passion.

He leaned forward and kissed her very lightly on the lips; Hermione's eyes fluttered shut, and the world of misery and fear that she had been living in disintegrated in a moment of bliss.

Remus suddenly knew why he hated the way James and Lily often seemed to become one person; it was a feeling to be envied… and now that he had it, he wouldn't go without it.

Love… the past, the present, and the future. Her future… his… _theirs_.

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Notes:** -does a little dance- well came rather soon. This was all done on a whim, and the next chapter is supposed to have like, waaaay more stuff in it. Just because the couple is together _now_ doesn't mean they can't be torn apart…

Thank you for this support, guys! And for putting up with my obnoxiously spaced chapters! I heart you guys!

Please **read and review!**


	15. Can of Worms

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, just the false character of Jane Lewis and my OC person thingy Emmaline Danes!

Soo interesting chapter last time, eh? I really got into writing it, and I know I'm going to work really hard to finish this story asap! I'm sick of not having time to write; I _need_ to write, and it bugs me that I can't! So, here's to the giving up of studying _aaand_ a life for a while for Fanfiction! Yaay!

So, sit back and reeelax… we have some interesting things starting to happen here!

**Still So Close to You  
By Darkwing731**

((--Chapter Sixteen--))  
Can of Worms

-

_"You loved me?" he repeated immediately; his tone had changed suddenly, and he sounded almost faint._

_"I did… and I do," she confirmed quietly. She lowered her eyes and refused to meet his gaze. "You just couldn't love me back, Remus, and I accepted that."_

_"Hermione…" His tone, god it was familiar—she looked up at him, a strange feeling rising in her chest and confusion in her eyes. "I was just scared to love you back… but I'm not. Not anymore." The air around them changed with amazing speed; the bitterness was now replaced with a new sort of tension… passion._

_He leaned forward and kissed her very lightly on the lips; Hermione's eyes fluttered shut, and the world of misery and fear that she had been living in disintegrated in a moment of bliss._

_Remus suddenly knew why he hated the way James and Lily often seemed to become one person; it was a feeling to be envied… and now that he had it, he wouldn't go without it._

_Love… the past, the present, and the future. Her future… his… **theirs**._

-

Lily growled and shoved James; her whining boyfriend resembled an obnoxiously cute puppy with a stubborn attitude.

"Go!" Lily snapped, pushing all of her weight against his shoulder in a gigantic heave. James shoved back, trying to get back into their dormitory, but Lily refused to let him.

"_Please_! I can't—it's too hard!" he protested, feeling very reluctant. "I don't _wanna_!" he whined, shaking his body around in a tantrum.

"Potter, the hardest thing you will ever do is getting back on my good side if you don't do this!" Lily threatened, bristling. "You agreed to this!"

"But that was _yesterday_, Lily!"

"DO IT!" she screamed, sending James ducking for cover.

"_Okay_," was his whimpering reply. He slowly peered out from behind the sofa. "Do I get a reward?"

"Besides moral fiber?" she asked dryly.

"Please! As if I need anymore," he said haughtily.

"You've got about as much moral fiber as a damn banana, Potter."

"Which has fiber!" James pointed out brightly. Lily shot him a look, but then nodded.

"You'll get a reward, you dog. But just get up; we need to do this quickly," Lily instructed. James stood, and she pulled him over to the door. "Remember, just ask about Sirius… and if you mess this up, no reward!" James gasped.

"Agreed?" James nodded. "Good, now go." Lily opened the door and shoved him in; the Head Boy scanned the room for the familiar face, and saw Emma doing homework by the fireplace.

He darted towards the couch, but approached her slowly. He watched Lily creep up the dormitory stairs; sitting down next to Emma, he pulled himself together.

"Why are you writing an essay?" he asked curiously. Emma's quill was dancing across the page, and it did not falter for a moment.

Not looking up, she replied, "It's for Potions. You've got one too, you know."

"I do?" Emma turned and gave him a dry look similar to the one Lily gave him earlier. He smiled cheekily at her.

"S'alright, I can do it anytime!" James declared, sinking back into the sofa. "Like next week."

"It's due tomorrow, Potter."

"Oh… I can do it next week then!"

There were a few minutes of silence as James watched Emma write out her essay furiously. He was searching his mind for some way to stall her, so that he could keep her attention away from the essay, but still make her finish it once they were done.

"What's up with you and Sirius?" he blurted, and was pleased that it sounded casual. Almost instantly her quill came to a halt; she looked up at him suspiciously.

"What do you mean?" she asked him sharply, her eyes glinting.

"Well, you know… are you fight—"

"No, why?" she interrupted him, her voice low.

"It just seems like it. Everything is all…" James shrugged and gesticulated; it was a movement so random he couldn't even decipher what he had meant to say.

Emma gave him a confused look. "Circus-like?"

"Circus? What's a circus?" he asked, interested. She opened her mouth to answer— "By golly, YES it _is_ circus-like!"

"Nothing is circus-like except a circus… and sales on shoes," she said seriously, arching an eyebrow at him.

"What about sales on jackets? Or brooms?" he retorted, crossing his arms. "It's not _all_ about shoes."

"Oh, it's _all_ about shoes, Potter," she intoned wisely, and went back to her essay.

"It's not all about shoes!" he snapped. "Look! Over on the bulletin board, there's a sign for a broom—what the _HELL_?"

James toppled off the couch in shock; stumbling, he ran over to the bulletin board and plucked the revealing picture off. Speechless, he gaped at the picture and rushed back over to Emma and waved it in her face.

"Look, Emma!" he cried. Emma glanced at the photo, and for a brief second James felt like something odd happened in the air around him before she shrugged and went back to her essay.

"Nice picture," she said sarcastically. James stared at her, amazed that Emma was masking her dislike for Jane so much. But then it occurred to him; _she_ was the one who had done it! It _had_ to be her!

"You don't even care?" he asked, sounding stunned. Maybe he could find a crack in this perfect little mask of hers.

"Nope."

He sighed heavily, and lowered it. "This is horrible. Do you know who did it?"

"Nope."

He gave a loud, dramatic sigh, and shoved the picture in his pocket. "I need to find out." He paused, and smirked at the clever idea that crossed his mind. "Oh; I can ask Sirius! He said he was done here late last night… he might know."

Emma whipped around and looked at him; for a single moment, she looked very frightened, but then she recovered so easily it almost appeared as if the fear was never there. "He wouldn't know; he was with me last night… if you catch my drift."

James shot her a victorious look. "I know, he told me how much _fun_ you had." Emma's face was devoid of emotion, but she seemed to be searching him. Was he playing off her lie to cover his own stupidity, or was he aware of her lie and mocking her?

"I—"

"Jimmy-James!" James winced at the nickname; Lily came skipping over to them, and plopped down on the couch. "Found my shoes," she declared. "Took me forever though; we need to clean up there."

"Agreed!" Emma said heartily. Lily laughed, and for a moment, they all looked at each other; Emma looked calm and lighthearted, but Lily knew her well enough to spot the anxiousness in her eyes. Glancing at James, she saw that his arrogant hazel eyes held more pride than usual.

"Well… I want some ice cream. Come to the kitchens with me?" she asked James. He nodded. "Want me to bring some back for you?" Lily asked Emma. The other girl shook her head.

"Too distracting. I need to finish this essay, and your boyfriend hasn't been helping any," Emma complained, throwing an irritated look at the Head Boy. He grinned.

"Well I'll get rid of him. See you later," Lily said, pulling James by the hand and leading him out.

Stepping out of the Gryffindor Tower, Lily turned to him. "Well?"

James slowly pulled out the revealing pictures of Jane, and Lily clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes round as galleons in shock.

"_Who_—?"

"Emma," James answered simply. "I did some smooth talking, and with my cleverness I discovered it was her."

"What cleverness? You mean the kind where you can tell where the milk is a week old?"

"What is with the insults today, Evans? One would think you hated me," he said, sounding melodramatic; however, he threw an arm around her shoulders fondly and pulled her closer.

"Well, I have Jane's diary. It's a very strange lock she's got," Lily muttered, pulling out the book.

It was a medium sized book with very wide, but short pages. The old, faded leather was peeling off in several places, and it was hard to distinguish that it had even been red. The lock was a twisted knob, looking as if it had been hacked off an old willow tree and pasted on. It sat atop the cover, which was like the extra material in the back folded over onto the front of the journal, protecting the vertical edges of the pages. In the worn piece of wood were three little spaces, empty of any patterns or weathering.

James took it from Lily's hands, now very interested in how to open it. Neither of them wanted to read her private thoughts, but this lock was so interesting that the challenge of figuring it out would be immensely entertaining.

"How do you do it?" James asked softly; he was entranced by this book, and Lily was too. The couple walked slowly, prodding at the diary with their wands and determination in their hearts.

"It could be a combination, or something," Lily suggested.

"It might be initials, or an acronym," James intoned. They looked at each other; and Lily put the journal away.

"Ice cream first, mystery later," she said stoutly.

"How about… ice cream, re_ward_, and then mystery?" James proposed. Lily shook her head, laughing.

"James… ice cream _was_ your reward."

"Damn!"

_-x-x-x-_

Narcissa scuttled over to her sister, darting through the crowded Slytherin common room. After speaking with Rose, Narcissa had concocted the perfect means of revenge on those Gryffindor boys, and on the new target, Mudblood Granger. It had just occurred to her in Herbology, and of course she had to tell her sister; Andromeda had a way of finding all the technicalities of their plans, and together they fixed them with ease.

"Up," Narcissa ordered, tugging on her little sister's sleeve.

Andromeda was sitting with Darien Parkinson, and having a good time while doing so. Narcissa knew her sister was bothered by her interruption, but this was too important.

"Look, I apologize, but this is _important_. I'll make it up to you," Narcissa promised. The couple frowned at her. "You know I will, Andy."

"Don't call me that," Andromeda snapped. Slowly she got up, and Darien's arm dropped from her shoulders. "I'll see you around."

"Yes, you will," he said with a wink; after the boy left, the Black sisters went upstairs.

"No, up here," Narcissa said, proceeding farther up the staircase, past the normal dormitories.

"But there's nothing up here!" Andromeda said. "Look, Cissa, you're going crazy—"

"_Basilicus_," Narcissa murmured, aiming her wand. A door slowly appeared on the wall, slowly becoming visible on the dark, stony walls. The black frame was soon solid, and its only décor was a serpentine handle, made from pure silver.

Twisting it, the eldest Black tossed her sister in and shut the door behind her. Andromeda stared around in wonder; elegant things lined each surface of the room, silver adorning everything. The room was dark, but voluminous; silky, opulent curtains fluttered by French doors, and bookcases lined the walls. Too much to take in, not seeing even a fraction of the beauty, Andromeda turned to her sister, gaping like a fish.

"It's Lucius' private room," Narcissa explained dryly, knowing what her sister was about to demand.

"How—?"

"They're the _Malfoys_, don't forget," Narcissa pointed out.

"But—_but—_"

"No time for that now," Narcissa said hastily. "Listen, I was thinking; we promised revenge on those Gryffindors, right?" Her little sister nodded obediently. "Well I've thought of something perfect to do. It's easy, we can do it soon, and I don't think there will be many things to worry about. We have an inside force, so it make our job even easier."

"What're you talking about?" Andromeda asked suspiciously. Narcissa smirked, her eyes gleaming in the darkness around them.

"Hostage."

"_What_?" Andromeda cried. "You—that's _illegal_, Narcissa!"

"We've done it before," she said, pouting a little and crossing her arms over her chest. "It was so easily done."

"We can't. It's insane!" Andromeda protested. Narcissa opened her mouth to retort, but there was an abrupt noise to their right; turning to look, Lucius came out of a bathroom, steam following him in heavy clouds.

Andromeda, upon sight of seeing a naked, muscular Malfoy with nothing more than a towel around his hips, fell straight to the floor in a dead faint.

"I think my sister fancies you a tad," Narcissa sighed. Lucius approached her, grinning deviously.

"Who doesn't?"

_-x-x-x-_

Hermione twisted her hands around anxiously, the silence in the room filling her with a fluttery feeling, one she couldn't decipher to be good or bad. She stared into the fire, her brow creased and deep; her breathing was shallow, and her hands shook. She hadn't felt this kind of nervousness in a while… _too long_, she mused faintly.

"How?" Remus voiced quietly. She did not flinch at the sudden noise, or look at him, nor did she show signs of even hearing him speak. However, Remus remained silent, feeling similar to how she did.

"Your Christmas present," she whispered after a long silence, the crackling of the fire the only noise. Remus gave her an odd look, at the same time digging around in his cloak for the book she was talking about.

"This?" he inquired, holding up the little book. She turned and stared it, her eyes hard, but feeble; she nodded.

"Can I see it?" He handed it to her, and Hermione slowly directed herself to a most familiar place, thirteen pages in. Upon seeing the Latin, she closed her eyes and felt like crying. Shoving the book away, she cupped her face, pulling at her hair and wishing she could just make everything stop.

Devastation filled every crevice of her mind and soul; the feeling that she would never go home, never leave this hell brimming inside of her, drowning the little sanctuary she had left somewhere deep inside of her. It had already been set in motion, it had already been completed, and now there was no way for her to end it… except _live it_.

"Jane… erm, Hermione," Remus said awkwardly. "What's wrong? Please—"

"You wouldn't get it, Remus," she sniffed, forcing herself to suppress the tears that were slowly suffocating her sanity.

"Explain it to me, then," he said firmly. She looked at him, an enormous sadness resting on her shoulders, the nostalgia now unbearable more than ever.

"When did you create or discover the Time Charm you applied to page 13?" she asked quietly, subtly creating a diversion.

"The same day we found you," he answered. "We were in the library, putting the last minute touches on it… well I was; the rest of the Marauders were being idiots," he intoned dryly.

She nodded, but there was an imperfection in the story. "Then how… if _I_ got you the book, and gave it to you for Christmas, how—_why_ did I come so early?" she breathed, unaware that Remus was listening to her intently. She stood, and started thinking, her mind thrusting itself forward, plunging into the logic that _was_ Hermione Granger.

"The Charm was applied to the book… but the book was _after_ I came… but you made the charm the same day _I_ came… there's got to be a misconception in the book then; perhaps 18 years and so many days? But why—why _that_ in the first place?" Hermione spun around, and looked at Remus searchingly.

"There's something wrong with this; give me the book again," she told him. Puzzled at her words of reasoning, he handed the book to her again. She flipped to page thirteen, and looked at it very closely.

Suddenly, she saw what was wrong; slowly, she pulled on the page, using the utmost care not to rip it. Holding the sheet in her hand, she saw it was a piece of parchment, cut down and folded at the edge.

"Remus, did you glue this page into the book or something?" Hermione questioned, examining the parchment's edges and transparency.

Watching her hold the paper up to the light, he nodded. "It took James forever to get it to stay. I made him do it because I was too busy," he explained.

"So you didn't create a Time Charm in this book? You made it on parchment and pasted it _into_ the book?" she confirmed.

"Well, not _pasted_—"

"But it's still not an original page from this?" she asked, giving the small book a rattle. Remus nodded, and another knot of tension loosened in her chest.

"That's how you traveled here, wasn't it?" he whispered, eyes wide with comprehension. She nodded at him, the smile on her face holding no happiness. "It's _my_ fault?"

"No, don't think that, Remus," she urged, her expression fading into worry. "It if hadn't been me, it would've been Har—one of my friends, and that… that would _not_ have been good," she said, and felt a cruel sort of humor at the unimaginable image of Harry stumbling into his parents and facing all the tragedy all over again. Ashamed at even thinking that, she allowed herself to be disgusted at her own cold thoughts.

"But it's true," he realized, the bitter epiphany like a slap in the face. "If it hadn't been for me, making that _stupid_ Charm—"

"Remus, stop!" Hermione said sternly. "It's not your fault!"

"_Yes it is_!" he roared, flying to his feet and kicking at the table viciously. "All the torment you went through is _my fault_!" Hermione flinched back in surprised as he screamed, lashing out at the furniture around him. His yelling, raw and strained, reverberated through the room; she slowly sat down on the couch, the weight of his self-anger digging into her heart.

She tried not to feel so affected by his bitter anger, but the strenuous journey she had been put through… she hated to think it, hated to even _think_ about thinking it; she confessed her love for him, it had been mutual, and it was all she would ever need… but all of it _was_ because of him.

Remus had quieted down eventually, but she never heard him give up, shaking in resentment. Sobbing harder than she ever had, so hard that it hurt her whole chest to keep in the noise and so hard that it hurt her throat to cry out. She could do nothing to stop the dam from breaking; she couldn't be her own little Dutch boy, keeping herself safe by stemming the leak of her vulnerability.

She immediately took comfort in his arms as he offered his embrace; he couldn't even face himself right now, hating to look at anything that could've reminded him of _him_. Straining his jaw, he calmed himself and focused on Jane—Hermione… just her. Holding her soothingly, he tried to ignore the incessant, pestering awareness in his mind that she was crying because she agreed with him. They both knew the charm was _his fault_, and nothing anyone said was going to change that.

He couldn't think of anything to say to her, and she couldn't force herself to argue with his claim. They were both miserable, tangled in the sharp pain they had both come to familiarize themselves with. Remus was not only a werewolf, but the Bringer of Pain… to him, _and_ to others. And Hermione? Well, she was just the center of it, at the moment; the impetus to the vicious events taking place before them, and the ones that would soon stand in their path.

But only at that moment could they push everything away. Finding solace in one another, they blamed themselves and each other, but found no guilt in doing so. After all… it was just the truth.

_-x-x-x-_

"This is _insane_, and that's something I do not say," Sirius hissed, looking down at the Marauder's Map; Lily rolled her eyes at him, and pushed him further down the hallway.

Now a Saturday, the Marauders had split up, each drawn to their own activities. Everyone had noticed the tension between Remus and Jane… but now, it was different; better, almost. They were not uncomfortable around each other, but instead, anxious about something. Twitchy, for lack of a better adjective, for they never stopped moving when they were in the same room.

James and Remus were at the Library, and Lily knew for a fact that they were discussing Jane, or rather, Granger. She didn't want to stick her nose into that just yet; first, she had someone to convince. And Sirius being Sirius, it wouldn't be that hard, but she needed to show him proof.

"She's down the next corridor," Lily pointed out, her finger on the map, hovering over Emma's name. "Look who she's with. Does that _not_ say enough?"

"Shut it, Evans," Sirius snapped, and Lily arched a reproachful eyebrow at him. "They've got to be bullying her or something."

"Well, think what you want, Black," Lily sneered, and Sirius shot her a cold look. "Just make sure that when we peek around the corner, you don't go screaming for her, got it?"

"Got it," he grumbled. They continued on, moving slower and watching the Map very closely as they went.

They passed a broom closet, and finally came to a stop right at the corner. "Now look, and be discreet," she instructed. He looked at her strangely. "That means don't be obvious."

"I _know_ what it means," he said haughtily.

"Okay," Lily agreed sarcastically.

Sighing, Sirius looked around the corner, showing only one of his eyes as he observed the group. Eyes narrowed, he watched Emma from behind, her gestures large and her voice soft. Slytherins stood around her, grinning, some laughing.

Quieting down, a girl he recognized as Rose Sanders stepped forward. "We need to move this to an empty room. I've got something to discuss, and privacy is mandatory." Nodding, the group followed Rose down the hallway, moving away from Sirius and Lily.

Slipping back around the corner, he tried to take the map from Lily, who was reading it closely. "Gimme," he whined.

"Quiet, I'm trying to memorize the names of these losers," she muttered. "I know all of them except for one."

"Who?" Sirius asked.

"Someone named Parkinson," she replied, frowning in thought.

"Uhh, Darien Parkinson?" Sirius said, his tone mocking Lily's forgetfulness.

"No; he was there, but there was another. It was a girl," she said, still thinking hard. "Ring any bells?" Sirius shook his head. "Come to think of it, you got bells in that head of yours?"

"Yes I do," Sirius sniffed. Lily laughed, and tugged at his elbow as she closed the Map.

"We can't miss this conversation; come on." Tiptoeing down the hallway, the two of them approached the empty classroom the Slytherins had filed into, staying away from the door but close enough to hear.

"… so this should be easy. We have Emma as our personal insider, and another to back her up, should she need help. All of you, make sure you're in the woods by four o'clock, or you'll get it," Rose said darkly. "This is one of our only opportunities left, since school is ending quickly. We have a month and a half to uncover Mudblood Granger, so _make sure_ you contribute. Understood?"

There were mutterings of agreements. "Good. Meeting concluded, you can go." There was laughing, and the scuffling of feet could be heard before the door opened with a loud creak that echoed the silent hallway.

Lily realized with a gasp what was going on; "Run!" she hissed. Lily grabbed an oblivious Sirius by the hand, and sprinted down the hallway, rushing as fast as they could before any of the Slytherins saw them.

"_Hey_!" It was too late, someone had seen them round the corner.

Lily stopped abruptly, slamming to a halt, and Sirius rammed into her. Grabbing the handle of the broom closet, Lily opened it and jumped in, pulling Sirius in with her.

The word had spread quickly that someone, traitors, had eavesdropped. The group was scattered in the hallway, arguing, and Rose pushed through them, furious that they had been caught.

Shoving people out of the way, she approached the broom closet. "They couldn't have gone anywhere else; they're in here." The group gathered, and tightening, they all watched curiously.

The door opened; several people gasped, but Emma's shriek was heard above them all. Lily Evans and Sirius Black were snogging profusely, their hair wild and their clothes wrinkled and unbuttoned. They broke apart at once, and stared up at the observers, stilling holding each other close.

"U-uhm," Sirius stuttered, smiling nervously. "Hi?"

"_SIRIUS BLACK_!" Emma started screaming incoherent words, cursing him into oblivion. Several people clamped their hands over their ears at her incredibly high, sharp voice, including Sirius and Lily.

After she quieted, the two Gryffindors looked at the silent, hysterical girl. "How could you do this, Sirius?" she whispered, tears now streaming down her cheeks. It was almost as if there were no Slytherins behind her, no vengeful throng of evil-doing teenagers staring at her, watching her hysterics fade into misery.

"And _you_!" Emma spat, turning hateful eyes to Lily, who cringed. "You were my _best friend_!" she spat. "Now you're nothing more than a stupid little _Mudblood_!"

Lily snarled in fury, and Sirius grabbed her to restrain her from attacking. If the redhead managed to start a fight, she would be badly injured before it was broken up.

Tears dripping from her gleaming, dangerous eyes, she stepped forward and slammed the door with all of her might, enclosing Sirius and Lily into a ringing darkness. There were several minutes of awkward silence before Lily spoke, positive that the group had left.

"Wonderful," she muttered. "_Why_ did you have to—"

"There was _no _other decent excuse for us being in a broom closet, Lily!" Sirius cried. "You think I wanted to?" Despite the darkness, Sirius knew she gave him a cynical look. "Okay, that's _beside_ the point. Let me rephrase that: do you think I want to kiss my best mate's girl? Huh?"

"Still glaring at you," Lily sang. Sirius let out a huff.

"Whatever! Right now, we need to find our friends and explain to them what happened before they find out through the grape-vine," he decided calmly.

"Yeah, I think you're right," Lily mumbled. "Let's get out of here. Check the Map first."

Sirius ignited his wand, and checked several corridors. "Clear," he informed her.

Sighing, they slowly got out of the closet, and went back to the Gryffindor Common Room. It was a tense walk, and not a word was exchanged between them. Getting to the portrait, Lily supplied the password and braced herself.

No one said a thing to them; instead, students and friends shook their heads, glared, muttered words of disappointment, and Lily felt humiliated. Sirius bolted to the boy's dormitory, and Lily slowly ascended her to respectable dorm.

However, upon entering, it looked as if a tornado had destroyed everything—specifically Lily's things. Staring down in disbelief, Lily poked through all her tattered, ripped things that she had loved so much; books, clothes, parchment, _pictures_.

"_EMMA_!"

_-x-x-x-_

"Whoa, sorry," Sirius apologized at once, backing out of the room before he could get a good look of the couple getting friendly with each other. "Wait a _second—_"

Remus and Jane were now on opposite sides of the room, looking so innocent that the guilt of their actions was obvious. Sirius grinned slowly, pointing at them each in turn. He shut the door and smirked at them, hands on his waist.

"Well you two are something else," Sirius said, chuckling. "All this time I thought you hated each other… well well, this is rather amusing."

"Don't get any ideas Sirius," Remus warned.

"You mean, like I wasn't the only one getting action today?" he retorted, and laughed. "You two… ahh, makes me laugh."

"Huh, I didn't think Emma would let you anywhere near her," Hermione said, frowning.

Sirius chuckled uncomfortably, and rubbed the back of his neck. "Funny thing about that—"

"_She destroyed EVERYTHING_!" Lily came storming through the door, her face twisted up in anger as red as her hair. "I cannot _believe_ that stupid _bitch_!"

"Relax, Lily, you can fix it. You fix everything else anyway," Sirius muttered snidely. Lily bellowed and lunged at Sirius, taking him down immediately.

Kneeling over him, she grabbed him by the neck and started shaking him. "This is _your fault_!" she shrieked. "If you had just _believed _me in the first place, she wouldn't have _destroyed_ everything!" Remus and Hermione slowly backed away from the couple on the floor, quite scared and confused.

"You and your _stupid ideas_!" Lily screamed. Sirius whimpered and tried to push her off, but he could barely get a strong enough grip on her waist to topple her.

"Get off!" Sirius yelled. Lily growled at him and swung her fist back, ready to punch him; Sirius grabbed her free supporting hand out from underneath her, and she fell onto his chest, Sirius seizing her before she could hit him again.

It was that inopportune moment that James chose to walk through the door, Peter in tow. The two animated boys stopped talking, stunned at the sight before them. Sirius, who had been trying to shove Lily off, appeared to be holding her against him. His hand was low on her waist, the other on her arm. She was on his chest, lying on top of him, their faces very close.

They broke apart immediately, and Lily was up in an instant, anger replaced by panic.

"James, you _have to_ believe—"

"We were joking about it," James whispered, his expression stunned and his face white; his shocked face silenced Lily immediately. He barely moved his lips as he spoke. "Wormtail and I heard about it, and we thought, what a laugh! But this… why? _How_?"

"Prongs—"

"SHE'S MY BLOODY _GIRLFRIEND_, SIRIUS!" James exploded suddenly, a vein throbbing in his neck. Peter squealed and ran inside for cover, inconspicuously shutting the door to keep their argument unheard.

"James!" Sirius yelled. "You have to let us explain!"

"NO! YOU SON OF A—"

"We saw the whole thing!" Hermione, who had snuck back to Remus' side, shouted suddenly. The entire group turned and looked at them at once, and Hermione felt very nervous.

"Sirius was talking to us, and then Lily came in, and she was furious. Emma did something to her stuff, and—and she was _fighting_ with Sirius, not… not doing _that_," she explained, her words getting firmer by the second. She cast a glance at Peter and saw that he looked quite uninformed as the rest of them; perhaps he had no idea about this whole thing.

Calming almost immediately, James took a shaky breath and looked at Lily; scared and defenseless, she could do nothing but look hopefully at him, yet the trepidation in her eyes was evident. He reached forward, and took her hands, his own shaking.

She flew into his arms at once, and he held her so tightly, it was almost as if she had died and come alive again, and this was his only chance to ever hold her before she left once more. She pressed her face into his shoulder, and there was another moment of unity where no one else in the room matter, before James allowed himself to put her down.

"Explain, please," James requested quietly. Lily took his hand, squeezing it, and at the same time she and Sirius shared an awkward look.

"I needed to convince Sirius completely that Emma has been the one contributing to the Slytherins," Lily started nervously. "So, we followed them up by the Astronomy tower, and they went into a room to talk about something."

"'Them' as in whom?" James asked.

Lily shook her head, and muttered under her breath. "A group of Slytherins called the Illimni, and there were about 15 of them, I suppose." No one noticed Hermione clap her hand over her mouth in shock except Remus.

"Anyway, we overheard them talking about—" Lily stopped, and uncomfortably looked at Hermione; "Jane. They said something about her."

"No, they said something about someone named Granger," Sirius corrected, oblivious to Lily's deliberate name switch. The group turned and looked at Jane; she slowly stumbled back on the bed, leaning over her knees with her head in her hands.

Ignoring Sirius, Lily continued. "And they started to leave, and we were right outside the door. We ran, but someone saw us. So we jumped inside the broom closet, and Sirius made the very good point that the only excuse worthy enough for being inside a broom closet… was snogging. And that was how they found us," Lily mumbled, mortified.

James nodded, his face calm but his eyes hard. "Alright. I understand, and I have no reason to doubt either one of you, so despite how much this is bothering me, I'm going to believe you," James spoke, his voice strained.

"I would never," Sirius said softly. James nodded, but did not meet his eyes. Sirius shot Lily a helpless look, and she shrugged.

"Well this is uncomfortable," Peter commented after a few minutes of stiff silence. Sirius chuckled, but no one else did.

"I know something that will take our minds off this horrible situation," Sirius said brightly.

"_No_ Sirius," Remus blurted.

"Mooney and Jane are together again!" Everyone turned and looked at said couple. Remus was gaping, and no one could see Jane's face. She was doubled-over with her face in her hands, clutching her unruly locks tightly in her fingers.

"Thanks, Padfoot," Remus snapped. "Now… could you guys just _get out_?" They all exchanged looks, and soon they shuffled out. Once Peter had quietly closed the door behind him, Remus moved to Hermione quickly.

"Look, Sirius is just an idiot—"

"Go find him, Remus," Hermione said, sounding as if she had a bad head cold. "Go to him, explain it to him, and _make_ _sure_ he's not in his stupid mode when you explain it, alright?" He nodded.

"While you're at it… just tell them all. Bring them all back here… but don't talk to me, please," she whispered. She brought her legs up onto Remus' bed, and hugged a pillow to her chest. "Just pretend that I'm not here, and speak as freely as you want."

"I couldn't," he protested gently, sitting by her side. He hesitantly touched her cheek.

"Do it, please. Just get it over with. They won't even know I'm here. Tell them I went to the hospital wing," she told him, sounding determined. After a moment where he was lost in her eyes, filled with tired acceptance, he nodded.

He stood, went around to James' trunk, and fished out his invisibility cloak. He lifted it up and placed it over her body. Smiling faintly at him, she took the corner and pulled it over her head, disappearing from sight.

"Only for you," he whispered, and the meaning was not lost on her. Sighing, Remus left the room and went to seek out his friends, finally able to explain the chaotic web of lies and distorted truths that had captured them all.

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Notes:** weeell that was an interesting chapter, was it not? I'm glad that my writing pace is picking up again; just to inform you guys, I'm writing this story and this story _only_ until I finish the bloody thing. Then, I continue on with my others. So, that being said, it shouldn't be very long now. Maybe… maybe 5 or 6 more chapters, and then an epilogue… or two. Or a reeeeaally one. We'll see… (sigh)

Btw, _Basilicus_ means royalty in Latin. I thought that was kinda funny. Also, in one of the other chapters before, maybe 14, I had Sirius check to see if Remus had a two way mirror. I realize this mistake now; only Sirius and James have two way mirrors, but I'm bending the rule a little bit here so all the Marauder's have them )

Thanks for reading, and **please review!**


	16. Without a Doubt

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, just Emma Danes.

**OY READ THIS!** It appears that, in previous chapters, everything is day after day after day, putting this entire story in like, February! Even this chapter! So, that being said, assume that all chapters have been spread out over a month or so, putting up at the end of March and beginning of April, kapeesh?

Well, this chapter is going to be filled with more excitement and a mystery; also, Hermione is gonna be faced with a challenge that just really sucks… -laughs evilly-

I hope you all enjoy this story so far; I really want to draw it to a close, so it shouldn't be long now!

So… let's start!

**Still So Close to You  
By Darkwing731**

**-**

((--Chapter Seventeen--))  
Without a Doubt

-

_"I couldn't," he protested gently, sitting by her side. He hesitantly touched her cheek. _

_"Do it, please. Just get it over with. They won't even know I'm here. Tell them I went to the hospital wing," she told him, sounding determined. After a moment where he was lost in her eyes, filled with tired acceptance, he nodded. _

_He stood, went around to James' trunk, and fished out his invisibility cloak. He lifted it up and placed it over her body. Smiling faintly at him, she took the corner and pulled it over her head, disappearing from sight._

_"Only for you," he whispered, and the meaning was not lost on her. Sighing, Remus left the room and went to seek out his friends, finally able to explain the chaotic web of lies and distorted truths that had captured them all. _

-

Using the Map, Remus was able to hunt down all of his friends quite easily; finding them in the kitchens, he tickled the pear and surprised them momentarily.

"Where's your girlfriend, Mooney?" Sirius slurred through a mouth full of ice cream, scooping more of the melting desert in his mouth. Remus wrinkled his nose.

"I brought her to the hospital wing so she could get some Calming Draught," Remus lied easily. They all grinned at Remus, knowing that he had not denied Sirius' claim, and therefore was acknowledging the truth.

Remus sat down beside Peter with a sigh, pulling a bowl of ice cream towards him. "No chocolate?" he observed.

"Sirius ate it," Peter informed him. The Black grinned sheepishly to Remus' annoyed look.

"So," Lily asked, swiveling around the melting desert in her bowl, "Why didn't you stay down there with her?"

"I wanted to talk to you guys," he said slowly. "Some enlightenment on current events would be appreciated, would it not?"

"Did she say you could?" Lily asked seriously. Remus shook his head.

"She won't be mad, though. She knew that you were all bound to find out one way or another," Remus explained somewhat grimly. "However, I think we need to go back to the dormitory. The castle walls have many ears."

Sirius and James looked around in mock curiosity, and Lily rolled her eyes at their fake idiocy. "Fine; we _are_ in Slytherin territory anyway."

"Exactly," Remus agreed.

It took them twice as long to get back to the Gryffindor common rooms as it did for Remus to find them. It was thoroughly annoying, having James and Sirius prancing around like fools, while each moment Remus grew more and more anxious; Jane—_Hermione_, he corrected himself quickly—was hidden away in their dormitory. If by any chance someone discovered her just lying under an invisibility cloak, on Remus' bed nonetheless, it would lead to some sticky questions.

Finally, they all filed in, Remus leading them. He cautiously sat around on his own bed, feeling around for Hermione very discreetly so that he wouldn't sit on her. Lily eventually closed the door and crossed her arms over her chest, looking impatient.

"So what did she tell you that we don't already know?" Lily asked briskly. She looked like an entrepreneur dealing with business that kept her up late at night, searching for an answer to the problems.

James and Sirius were quiet; Peter was staring at the ground, shuffling his feet. Remus observed them all silently for a moment, feeling the heavy weight of Hermione's distress falling upon his shoulders.

"Well, as you said before Lily, Jane Lewis isn't real," he started slowly, very aware that Hermione was listening to his words. He looked around at his friends; "I found out, after some investigation _and_ interrogation that she is, in fact, Hermione Granger."

"So that's her first name," Lily mused, nodding. "I mean, H. Granger could've been Hector Dagworth-Granger."

"Who?" Peter asked.

"Founded the Most Extraordinary Society of Potioneers," Remus supplied offhandedly.

"Do you know her middle name, Remus?" Lily inquired. "Her initials could be HDG," she suggested.

"Then that would make her a man," Sirius piped up. "Having the same initials as that Potioneer guy."

They fell silent and looked to Remus, who shrugged. "I'm not really sure what her middle name is, but…" He stopped after a moment, examining the possibility of something he happened to notice. "I think it's Jane."

"Jane?" James repeated, confused. "Do explain yourself, Mr. Mooney."

"Well, maybe she was in a haste to create a name, and using your middle name is quite clever, because who ever wants to use it? Perhaps that's why," Remus suggested. "Although, I'm not sure at all."

"So, what does any of this mean?" Sirius asked, bemused. "I think I'm the one who's been neglected here; none of you seem surprised but I'm completely in the dark."

"Think, Sirius," Lily urged, taking the lead. "Where have you heard the name _Granger_ before?" Sirius and Lily looked at each other, and his gaze was hard, searching, before he realized—

"_No_," he gasped, understanding. Lily nodded sadly. "So Emma and those damned Slytherins are all plotting against _Jane_?"

"Don't forget about the trouble with Malfoy," James added gravely. Sirius was quiet as he calculated all this stunning information, trying to comprehend the danger that was around them.

"Malfoy wanted her then, and not just in bed; he wanted information from of her," Sirius concluded, thinking harder with each moment. "When she found some way to steer clear of him, and get protection that even he couldn't break, he recruited other means to corner her."

"Yes," Remus said sadly, understanding the wretched life that Hermione had had to live with so far. "But I know _why_ he's doing it."

"I do too," James interjected. "She told me once that she knew everything about everybody, and none of it was gossip. She knew every secret, every hidden thing, _everything_. She knew Remus was a werewolf all this time, she knew that Lily hated me before this year, that we were all illegal Animagi… she had information and Malfoy wanted it."

"But that doesn't explain _how_," Sirius mused, stroking his jaw in thought. James was proud that his best mate was displaying his intellect; true, Sirius Black could be the biggest idiot in the world, but he wasn't the stupidest. He could be smart when the time called for it.

"I know how," Remus whispered. Well aware that now all eyes were on his, unwavering and intense, he took a deep breath to shake the tremble out of his hands. "I brought her here. She's from the future."

A long, pregnant pause followed his confession, and Remus felt as if he were high on some type of drug, a strong one, and experiencing a trip that was caught between terrifying and interesting. He stopped breathing, only looking around in search of some sort of response from his friends, but none came. He almost expected them to start howling with laughter, but none of them did.

He stared around at them, observing how they were all clutching something as if their life depended on it, as if they were going to fall off the face of the earth into a swallowing blackness that would cut off their breath. He wanted something from them, _now_, in return for revealing a terrible secret.

"That's insane," Lily uttered after blinking several times. Her voice was strained and fluttery.

"But it's possible. We were at the library that day, Prongs, way back when, before Hermione showed up. Remember how you guys were just joking around and I was doing immense research? Well I created a Time Charm and applied it to paper that same day. Later, you pasted it in the book Hermione gave me for Christmas. When she read it, in her time, she read the page that had the Time Charm on it, and was thrown back to the day I created it," Remus explained carefully.

"That's impossible!" James said in a hushed voice.

"But it's true," Peter murmured in a small voice. "She came from 1998."

"How—?" Remus was totally floored that Peter knew. The mousy Gryffindor shrugged, looking upset.

"I overheard some Slytherins talking. The Illimni. They know all about Hermione Granger and they have information on her. A _lot_ of information. They knew shortly after she got here, and Lucius Malfoy took the lead to exploit her secret. She had no where to go and no one to turn to," Peter muttered, staring at the ground as if he wanted to burn a hole through it.

Lily moved toward him slowly. "Peter, how did you know this?"

"Wormtail?" James asked softly, sounding concerned. Remus was glued to his bed, feeling Hermione tense up beside him under the Invisibility Cloak.

Peter slumped against the wall and turned his face away. Lily knew automatically that something was wrong, terribly wrong, and so did James. The Marauders rushed to his side, moved by their friend's behavior.

"My mother was murdered," Peter told them finally, his voice weak and trembling. He looked up towards them with shining eyes. "_Murdered_!" He let out a tight noise, sliding to the ground as he sobbed into his arms, muffling the noise, finally admitting the terrible event to his friends when he had shunned their help before.

There were several minutes of condolence and murmurs of sympathy before Remus spoke again. "How does that have to do with Hermione?"

"_Remus_!" Lily snarled, looking furious. "How can you be so _mean_? Give him some peace!"

"No, no it's alright," Peter sniffed, pushing Lily away; she scowled.

"How did this happen, Peter?" Lily asked gently. He wiped his eyes hastily, his fingers still quivering.

"It was reported as an accident, but I know that wasn't it…" he whimpered, fighting the sadness that was creeping over him. He coughed a few times, and looked to Remus.

"I've just been locking myself up in places were no one goes; closets, the Vanishing Cabinet, old passageways. No one has ever found me," he explained in a tired voice. "But people come near me all the time, and it's frequently the Illimni. They have meetings close to me, and I hear almost everything they say."

"We have to tell Dumbledore," Sirius declared suddenly. "This is too risky, and we can't handle this alone."

"No," Remus protested sharply, knowing that Hermione wanted this to be anything but public. Wanting to desperately avoid that subject, Remus turned his attention on something he was still ignorant about. "Do you know that the Illimni is?"

"No idea," Peter said. "All I know is that it's a bunch of Slytherins, mostly girls, that have banded together to just… be bitches? I don't understand it one bit, but they're united under something."

"Isn't Malfoy in it though?" Lily asked, confused. Peter shook his head.

"No, but he does things for them. At first he was dealing with Hermione Granger alone, but then he wanted help and they provided it where he saw fit," Peter explained. "He's evil."

"This we know," Remus said darkly.

"Speaking of Malfoy being evil… has she told you yet, Remus?" James asked carefully.

"I haven't asked her," Remus whispered.

"What's happened now?" Sirius inquired, Lily nodding in agreement. James and Remus exchanged an uncomfortable look.

"Padfoot, you remember that night you, me, Lily and Jane were in the library?" Sirius nodded.

"Only because it was the first _and last_ time ever I was in there," he said. James glared at him.

"Padfoot, you're in there all the time, you liar," James pointed out. Sirius shushed him.

"Actually you're right, and I don't remember, so be more specific."

"It was a day or so after Emma and Jane had that fight in the great hall… and after Jane admitted to fancying me… in front of everyone," Remus supplied, growing red in the face.

Sirius grinned; "In fact I _do_ remember that day. Continue!"

"Well after me and Lily left, and after you left Jane to go be with Emma, Jane was attacked," James said slowly. "By Malfoy."

Lily suddenly understood what that meant, and she blanched. "Oh no," she breathed in horror, and James nodded.

"Remus told me what happened, and it wasn't pretty. We're not entirely sure of the smallest details, but…" James broke off before hesitantly telling the story. It was brief and to the point, but he explained what Remus had told him and left them all in a shocked, hanging silence.

"Did he…" Lily struggled with herself, still stunned at the retelling. "…_force_ her?"

"We don't know," James said quietly. "Remus didn't ask, and she didn't tell."

"You need to ask her as soon as you can," Sirius ordered Remus, his eyes hard. "This is getting out of hand, and she's got to tell someone."

"Look, I don't even know the full story, okay Padfoot? Things are hard for her right now and I'm not troubling her even _further_ by making her relive something so awful," Remus argued with a growl in his voice.

"Besides," James started. "We have another problem too." He reached into his pocket and revealed the picture of Hermione and Lucius, still and colorless. Remus was the only one who seemed outraged.

Grabbing the picture, he stared at it, feeling a torrent of untamable emotions that got the best of him. "_Who did this_?" he roared.

"Emma," Sirius said coldly. "I caught her posting them late one night. I took the rest down, but they're still all over the school."

"Can teachers see them?" Lily asked.

"No," Peter answered. "They're posted in every common room and a charm was applied to them; only students can see them, and only purebloods can handle them."

"Why purebloods?" James asked.

"Because most of purebloods are in Slytherin, and therefore will only use that power for evil, like they usually do," Peter said darkly, muttering under his breath.

"This is another trick of theirs," Sirius said. "It's to cut off allies, so she won't have any friends."

"This is almost an advantage to us, if you think about it," Lily began slowly. "Everyone thinks badly of Hermione, or rather, Jane Lewis, so no one will want to befriend her. If we let people gossip like they gossip, rumors about her will become so twisted they'll be far from any sort of truth."

"And how is this good?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, I am also missing the… _goodness_ of this situation," James agreed. Lily sneered at him.

"We're her allies, and since she trusts all of us more than anyone, anything she says to us won't be known by anyone else, and therefore we can keep any information hidden," Lily explained.

"So that's a grain of happiness in the misery she'll experience," Remus said bitterly. "Sure, she'll have us, but if everyone thinks badly of her… you know how cruel Hogwarts can be. Especially the blokes in our year."

"True," Lily agreed apprehensively. "But I don't know how else to look at it. What else can we do?"

There was a long pause before Sirius spoke. "We undermine them."

"Care to supply a brilliant plan?" Remus asked dryly.

"We already have a spy," Sirius said, gesturing towards Peter. "We use him to procure information to overcome them."

"What if I don't want to be the spy?" Peter asked in a small voice.

"Then you won't be," Lily comforted, as Sirius scowled.

"How else can we do it?" he demanded.

"Don't forget that James has an invisibility cloak _and _the Marauders Map. It won't be that hard," Lily argued hotly. "You can't make Peter do something he doesn't want to."

"But Wormtail is already doing so well!" Sirius bickered. Lily narrowed her eyes.

"How can you ask him to do this when he's going through such a hard time?" she demanded. Lily and Sirius began to quarrel loudly back and forth, and in this time James went searching around for his invisibility cloak, wanting it as soon as Lily mentioned it.

Remus grew nervous as James reached the bottom of his chest, still not having found his treasured invisibility cloak; the werewolf could hear his heart in his throat more loudly than Lily and Sirius screaming at each other.

"Where's my cloak?" James asked himself quietly. He looked up, and locked eyes with Remus, who was slowly loosing the color in his face.

"Mooney, where'd you put my cloak?" James demanded, somehow knowing his friend had taken it. Remus' jaw tightened as James stood, holding out his hand.

"Cloak, Mooney," James ordered. Remus stared up at him silently, wishing he could conceive a lie clever enough to get him out of this situation, but his mind was shutting down in panic.

"_Where__ is it_?" he shouted. Lily and Sirius quieted; Peter perked curiously at the tension.

"Nowhere," Remus croaked finally. "I don't have it. It's not in here," he said quickly. James narrowed his eyes, and started scrutinizing Remus' things thoroughly.

Without stopping to think, Remus shoved James as hard as he could away from his bed. "Stop it!" he yelled, panicking. What would they do if they found Hermione? "I told you I don't have it!"

James growled and jumped forward; the two boys were locked in a fight, their arms tied around each other as they grappled for the upper-hand. Sirius slyly snuck up behind them and started poking around Remus' things.

It took him only a moment to discover James' invisibility cloak; he grabbed a fistful of it, and pulled. In the same moment, James bent Remus over, struggling to have him in a headlock, and Remus watched helplessly as Sirius gathered up the cloak.

He went to scream in alarm, but as soon as Sirius snatched the cloak, all eyes were on Remus' bed, plain and simple. Remus halted his fighting, and was still, searching around the room with his eyes.

Where the _hell_ did Hermione go?

James let him go, and stared at him suspiciously, taking his possession from Sirius. "What were you hiding, Mooney?" he asked.

"Nothing," Remus answered quickly, and the hastiness of his voice caught everyone's attention. James narrowed his eyes, and Remus wildly invented a lie.

"I—Jane, erm, Hermione's birthday is coming up soon, a-and I was hiding her present. And I thought if Lily saw it, she'd go and tell Hermione what it was." Lily made an indignant noise.

"You're shit at lying, Mooney," Sirius said simply. The werewolf turned sharply and threw a dirty look at Sirius.

"I'm_ not_ lying," he stated firmly.

"I'm _serious_, Mooney," Sirius said.

"Well _thanks_ for clearing that up," Remus mocked, deadpan. Sirius glared at him.

"There's no present on your bed, Mooney!" Remus ignored that.

"Why so eager to avoid the subject, Remus?" James asked delicately, taking a step closer as Sirius did. Remus felt distinctly as if he was being purposely caged in, and he didn't like that.

"Err, Lily, a little help here," Remus asked nervously.

"I'm kind of curious too, Remus," she admitted. "What _were_ you hiding?"

All eyes were on him, and he felt as if they were drowning him in guilt; he didn't know what to do, except step back away from them for each step they took towards him.

Suddenly, Hermione appeared across the room; Remus stared at her in shock, but she moved swiftly and silently towards the door. The opening door caught Peter's eye and his jaw dropped as he spied Hermione. She put a finger to her lips and escaped, unnoticed.

Peter was gaping like a fish; overcome with relief, Remus pushed past them and ran out the door after his girlfriend. James, Lily and Sirius were left confused, facing a disbelieving Peter who looked like a goldfish.

Nobody seemed to know what was going on anymore.

_-x-x-x-_

Despite the alarming large amount of homework she had, Remus managed to persuade Hermione to accompany him to Hogsmeade with the rest of the group. The homework the teachers were piling on for the N.E.W.T.'s was creating many sleep deprived students, including Hermione.

"Hey," Remus said, falling back behind the group of laughing Marauders to talk to Hermione. She seemed to be in no hurry, and he soon was walking in time with her.

"Hi," she replied quietly; she smiled at him, and he returned it silently. He took her hand after a moment, and they laced their fingers together.

It was quiet for a long time. Remus was perfectly content with just walking with her, but then something began to nag at him. The air around them was tenser than it should've been, and he knew something was wrong.

"What's wrong?" he asked before he could think about his conclusion. Hermione shook her head, but he felt her knuckles tighten. "Hermione?"

"Nothing," she choked. He immediately stopped, moving in front of her, trying to look into her eyes and determine what the hell was going on, but she refused to let him. "Remus, I'm fine. Stop it," she protested, trying to maneuver her way around him.

"Tell me," he demanded sternly. She looked up at him, finally, and a tear fell from her cheek.

Wiping it away in frustration, she told him. "Sirius was able to figure it all out about Malfoy in a matter of minutes. _Sirius_! How much longer did it take me? Weeks? Months?" she asked herself angrily. "How can I be so foolish, Remus?" she whispered.

"You're not stupid," he argued gently, touching her arm fondly, starting to walk again. "A lot was going on, and it doesn't matter how long it took you; you've figured it out now, and that's all that matters." Eyes shining, she stared back at him.

"Don't lie," she whispered, and tried to suppress the trembling of her lip. "I've been more foolish than I have in my entire life, and I don't know why."

"Hermione, no! You're _not_ stupid," Remus protested, taking her hand again. "You're smarter than Lily!" She shook her head and laughed hollowly.

"I'm not talking about books anymore," she murmured. She smiled, somewhat sadly, and looked back up at him. "Every since I met you I've just been a mess."

Remus was taken aback. "I'm… not really sure how to respond to that," he said slowly. She smiled, reminiscing.

"You messed up my head and made me doubt myself and confused me more than…" she trailed off, and gazed into space. "More than Ron."

It was a weird realization, but Hermione suddenly knew it was true. Ron _was_ Remus except simpler and red-headed. He liked sports rather than books, and liked Hermione for her and not just her intellect. She loved him for that; in fact, she loved _both_ of them for liking her at all. She was hard to accept, and she knew that. She was odd, pushy, and a show-off, but granted, she could never _do_ that before Hogwarts.

"Is he one of your mates from home?" Remus asked quietly. She nodded, then sighed.

"But I like you better, if that's any consolidation. He's more of a… James. Well no. A Sirius too," she said, and grinned at Remus' laughter. "He likes food and Quidditch incredibly so. In fact, his room has posters of the Chudley Cannons all over, and it is _so bright_…"

"Did you love him?" Remus asked quietly, reaching his hand up around her waist. She thought for a moment, before pulling Remus closer and resting her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah," she responded. "I did love him. But it wasn't love at first sight, like it was with you, Remus… I treasure that more."

Why was she telling him this? Did it even _matter_ to him? Hermione was sort of rambling on about love and Remus and Ron and it was all just a handful of confusing emotions thrown into a bowl and mixed together before she could get the correct measurements. She was having a tough life and she was allowed to ramble, she was allowed to love; hell, she could do whatever she wanted.

Remus said nothing, but simply looked at her. She stopped, pulling him to a halt, and took his face in her hands and kissed him hard. He was taken by surprise for a moment, but without another moment to spare he twined his hands through her hand and pulled her close, their breath becoming one, their souls merging.

"Hey lovebirds, get a room!" James jeered, cackling. Hermione and Remus broke apart after a moment, grinning sheepishly.

"C'mon," Remus murmured, gazing at her. She smiled faintly, but he could see the mesmerized look in her eyes. He pulled her along to catch up to the group, placing a hand around her waist again.

"Sooo," Sirius sang; "Where to first?"

"Three Broomsticks!" Lily suggested eagerly.

"Quidditch store," Peter added quickly.

"Zonko's!" James and Sirius cried, hooking arms and dancing.

"Bookstore?" Hermione asked Remus. He grinned and nodded.

James stopped the group and put on a fake mask of concentration. "Arr, we be splitting up?" he growled in a raspy voice, imitating a pirate. The group exchanged looks and nodded; Sirius was dancing in his spot, ecstatic that they were going to Zonko's. "Lily can't go alone, savvy?" James said seriously, adopting his normal tone.

"Potter, I'm not a _child_, I can handle a butterbeer quite nicely, thanks," Lily sniffed. "I'll just join up with Remus and Jan—Hermione, sorry, at the bookstore afterwards."

"Err, actually everyone can just keep calling me Jane," Hermione said quietly. In the awkward silence that followed her request, they all nodded, glancing at each other.

"Yeah…" James said slowly, still feeling awkward. "So let's go then?" Sirius cheered and grabbed James by the collar; flying faster than the wind, the two of them sprinted towards the Joke Shop.

Lily sighed and left; Peter gave a little wave and headed in the opposite direction. Hermione and Remus looked at each other and smiled, knowing that they were not going to the bookshop at all.

Strolling slowly, Hermione asked, "So where would be the best place to go, uninterrupted?"

Remus shrugged. "Well, Madam Puddifoot's always have snogging couples year round, so it'd be nothing new."

"I like peace and quiet; how about the Shrieking Shack?" she suggested, and he grinned at her insinuation.

"What if people hear shrieking?" he inquired, smirking. She laughed and hit him on the arm.

"I won't be scared, that's for sure," she answered. He chuckled and threw an arm around her fondly, and together they walked down the street, admiring the mild breeze and the perfect weather.

_-x-x-x-_

Lily slapped down two Knuts on the bar and took her butterbeer. _I should've just gone with James_, she mused. _I look like such a fool in here by myself._

Still though, she sat down at an empty table, facing the window. She absent-mindedly sipped her butterbeer, thinking about recent events. This whole conception of Jane Lewis being someone else, someone from the _future_, was mind-boggling. The knowledge that Hermione was faced with, and tortured with each and every day was too difficult for Lily to understand, and that was saying something; Lily understood mostly _everything_.

But how had the Slytherins come to pursue her? Who was the one that knew that Hermione had precious information that could determine the outcome between major things; life, death, war, _anything_? Anything that tampered with this knowledge, or anything that got in the way would surely change the future forever, and no mistake can be undone.

_But then, how can it be a mistake?_ Lily mused, tracing the rim of her bottle. _The Law of Time is confusing; no one is allowed to go back and meddle because they'd end up killing themselves or something. But then, if you see yourself and kill yourself that traveled from the past, how is the original person still alive?_

It was baffling and terribly difficult to understand. _There is a fate for us all, and each step we take is predetermined, so how can we change that?_ Lily huffed at the difficult concept but was determined to unlock the enigma she faced.

Grabbing parchment from her bag, she jotted down notes and drew diagrams to help understand the paradox that was Time-Travel. She chewed on her quill and tried thinking outside the box, kept thinking as logically as possible and even writing her mutterings down, but nothing worked.

_Maybe it's my beliefs?_ she thought, nodding. _I believe in fate, so maybe I can't understand it like that…_ Pushing aside her ideas about destiny, she attempted to understand it once again. Still, nothing worked.

Frustrated, Lily slammed down her quill and took a large swig of her drink. _Great_, she thought sarcastically, _now it's cold_. She pushed it aside and stared angrily down at her diagrams, brainstorming.

_How about an example?_ she thought. Smiling faintly, she flipped her parchment to the blank side and started drawing. _I need a situation…_

_Hermione and Remus, perfect!_ Excited, Lily drew a few little stick figures and labeled them with initials. _Hermione1 is from the future before she traveled into the past. Remus1 is from now before Hermione came. Hermione2 is the Hermione that is now here in the past, and Remus2 is Remus of the future affected by Hermione2 that traveled into the past_.

Lily's hand flourished with ideas as her quill danced across the paper, filling in little ideas and notes about her stick figures. She sketched in circles and curves, lines and squares that connected things, and diagram boxes that referred to another idea that was relevant.

Satisfied, Lily crossed her arms and examined her work, pondering the possibilities of this explanation. But then another thought crossed her mind. _What if Hermione2 was pregnant with Remus2's child, but had not given birth yet? Would that mean that Hermione2 would go back to her own time with a huge belly, or would that mean that Hermione1 was supposed to **already** be pregnant… but then as she became Hermione2, she would be pregnant even before she and Remus were intimate… Oi, this is hurting my head!_

"Enough of that," she muttered. "I can't grasp head nor tail of time-travel. Maybe Hermione could actually _explain_ it to me." Sighing, Lily checked her watch, wondering if it was too early to crash Remus and Hermione's bookshop date; she snorted at the idea.

It was only quarter to four, and Lily decided to wait a little while longer. Shoving her parchment about time into her bag, she clutched her cold butterbeer and drank it slowly anyway.

_Quarter to four… **four o'clock**… "… make sure you're in the woods by four o'clock, or you'll get it… we only have a month and a half to uncover Mudblood Granger…"_

"Oh shit," Lily gasped; starting up in a panic, she jumped out of her chair and dashed out of the Three Broomsticks into the freezing cold. Clouds had gathered and looked ominous; still, nothing was going to stop Lily from helping Hermione.

Pulling out her wand with haste, she rounded a corner and ran as fast as she could up the street, searching for anyone that knew what was going on, that could come to her aid.

Running into Zonko's, Lily ran up to the counter and crashed into it. "James Potter!" she gasped. The cashier gave her an odd look. "Was he here?"

"Left ten minutes ago," the boy informed her. The redhead swore under her breath and raced back out of the store, running for the bookstore.

Doing the very same thing she did at the bookstore, Lily slammed into the counter and demanded of the cashier if Remus Lupin had been into the store yet. "Not today," the lady informed her.

"Damn you!" Lily yelled, her heart faint; she turned and jogged towards the exit, panting.

Slowing down before the door, she thought: _if Remus is with Hermione, she should be safe… and occupied_, Lily thought with a grimace. _But then where are they if they aren't in there?_

She pressed up against the bay windows and stared out into the cold that seemed to be lifting. Students were filing out again and things were busy and business was fruitful.

Just before looking away, a group caught Lily's eye; Slytherins, huddled by the corner of a building up the street, were talking in a tightly knit group. Lily spotted Lucius Malfoy automatically, his platinum hair giving him away at once.

_I have to follow them, and warn someone_, she thought grimly. Pulling her hood up tightly around her hair, she slowly exited the bookshop, following the group of purebloods as they left to congregate elsewhere.

It was easy to trail behind them a good few meters or so, as everyone was now out and about as the weather swung back favorably. She looked like another person going to another shop, just like everyone else.

But as they neared the forest, it was becoming harder and harder to remain inconspicuous. More than once people glanced back, and Lily was quick to look down or fiddle with her shoe laces or dig inside her bag, but she knew that wasn't enough. Deciding she was too close, she entered the last shop before the trail to the Shrieking Shack as one member of the group looked at her.

She waited just a few seconds before pressing up against the glass and watching them trot away. Trying to think like Sherlock Holmes, she discreetly left the shop and ambled around near the one across the street, watching them disappear from sight. The Slytherins were now dispersed and broken up, traveling in small groups or pairs instead of one crowd as they headed towards the woods.

Feeling nauseated, Lily followed them, keeping to the edge of the forest. Wanting to immediately hide behind any tree if someone were to turn around to see her, she kept low and off of the path.

Keeping close but just out of sight, Lily chased after them, moving as quickly as she dared. They rounded the last bend, and being far behind them, she had to stalk them faster or else faced loosing them.

Jumping into the path, she clutched her wand tighter and darted around the corner. She halted with confusion almost immediately, and stared around; there was no one. All of the people she had been following, the Slytherins who were conspiring against Hermione, were _gone_.

"Where did they go?" she asked herself, wide-eyed and desperately confused. Turning on her heel, she knew it would be best if she found more help instead of entering the woods.

However, she was no more than a step in the opposite direction before fear overcame her, and a scream burst from her throat.

_-x-x-x-_

The Shrieking Shack was dank and slowly rotting away; dust floated through the air, the boards creaked, and moths had eaten most of the furniture. Still, neither Remus nor Hermione paid any attention to that.

Lying atop cloaks and vests, the couple was heatedly kissing, their shirts undone and hair askew. They were engrossed in each other, interlocked in each others hands and embrace. There was not a moment where either of them lay still; arching, caressing, gliding hands, the heat between them was fierce.

Hermione had never felt like this before, had never felt so _wanted_. When she had this chance to be with him, alone and passionate, she had never expected this to be the outcome; his adroitness was not the source of her pleasure, but instead, the bliss that was soaring through her because she was with him. Each sliver of skin that he touched made her shiver with relief; each shard of a moan that rose up in her throat, quick to be suppressed by gasping and his own fervent kissing, caused her heart to augment in joy.

Pressed up against him, shuddering with pleasure, each time he shifted she did, each time he ran a hand down her back, or inched her fingers up her shirt, her movements were the same, causing them to appear as one. Their bodies moved in an undeniable rhythm, shifting up and to the side, down and forwards, until the movement was so perfect it seemed to be a movie on repeat.

He cradled her in his arms, kissing her neck as she pulled him closer; fingers automatically running through his hair, grasping his neck to encourage the heat he was creating, and gliding her hands over his shoulders and chest, she angled her body to match his, like placing a puzzle piece with its partner.

She groaned with pleasure as he slid his hands down her sides, slow to move from her waist and hips. Wanting more, wanting _anything_ to feed this fire inside of her, she took her shirt by the shoulders and tugged the material off of her heated torso.

Remus stopped for a moment, propping himself up on his elbow to stare down at her. It was not the sight of her nearly bare body that mesmerized him, but the desire within her eyes, the passionate mixture of lust and love that her irises expressed. He smiled faintly and touched her cheek, a knot tightening in the back of his throat that disallowed him from speaking _or_ feeling.

He was numb with emotion, something so indescribable he wouldn't be able to name it even if he cleared his mind; he lowered himself slowly and tilted his lips to hers. She put her fingertips to his mouth and stopped him, letting her fingers run over his chapped, powerful lips.

"I took off something, now so do you," she told him softly, smirking. He grinned widely, and started laughing.

Kneeling over her, almost straddling her, he pulled off his shirt with one great thrust, and Hermione admired his bare upper half, lean and imperfect; scars were etched into his skin, scars from claws and from teeth, imprinted into his body forever. Still, she felt a bubble of excitement burst inside of her. Propping herself up on her elbows, she smiled at him, her eyes full of desire.

He leaned down and pulled her mouth to his, clutching her neck and waist, running a hand over her naked waist and over her chest before grasping her head. He smiled into her lips as they fell back against the floor, enjoying the feel of her skin on his, like souls rubbing up against each other.

A buzzing noise soon became apparent, and at first, neither of them noticed it. Hermione was kissing along his jaw, grasping his hair, and he was at her shoulder, sliding the strap down her arm, planting feathery kisses along the skin it passed.

"Wait," she murmured finally. They pulled apart and looked at each other, listening, and Remus abruptly realized what the noise was.

Rather angry at whoever was requesting to talk to him, Remus dug around in his cloak pocket for the mirror.

"What?" he snapped as Sirius' face appeared.

Opening his mouth to speak, Sirius looked at him closely, frowning. "You're not wearing a shirt, Mooney. And—oh, is that Jane in the background with no shirt on?"

"Remus!" Hermione hissed. Shifting, the werewolf turned so that his topless girlfriend was no longer in view.

"What d'you want, Padfoot? I'm _busy_," Remus growled. Sirius frowned.

"You're not at the bookstore! Prongs, they aren't at the bookstore!" Sirius called over his shoulder.

"Gimme that!" James' face appeared and glared at Remus, but his anger faded into confusion. "Hey, you aren't wearing a shirt!"

"Thanks, we've established that!" Remus clipped. "Now _what is it_?"

"Have you seen Lily?" James asked, looking a tad bit worried. "We can't find her."

"No, but I'm sure she's—" Remus was silenced as a bloodcurdling scream shattered his sentence. James' eyes widened with horror, and the mirror went dark.

Remus twisted around to Hermione, who looked very pale. "C'mon, we have to get dressed and help her." Moving frantically, the two of them dressed with haste, pleasure replaced in their minds with apprehension.

Pulling their cloaks over their uniforms, Remus took Hermione by the hand as they hurried towards the fence of the Shrieking Shack, anxious to find someone who might help them.

They stopped at the crest of the hill that overlooked the famous shack, and waited for a moment in silence. Within minutes, James and Sirius came racing around the corner, their cloaks billowing as they sprinted.

"Have you seen her at _all_ since we split up?" James demanded of Remus, and the werewolf shook his head. "_Why _didn't you go to the bookstore like you said?"

Rubbing her neck uncomfortably, Hermione said, "We didn't think it would be a problem if we just… ventured off somewhere private." Sirius chortled quietly and Hermione flushed.

"Okay, well that's fine. Except that WE CAN'T FIND LILY!" James roared. "Where the _hell_ could she be?!"

He glared around at each of them, including Sirius, as if he could intimidate an answer out of them. Hermione hesitantly opened her mouth to suggest an idea, but all thought escaped her mind as a hauntingly familiar whistle echoed from the forest.

The group turned towards the sound. Hermione blanched, and started shaking, flashes of memories burning into her eyelids. "Oh no," she moaned, covering her face to hide her fear.

"What? What is it?" James demanded, taking her by the shoulders and giving her a good shake. She looked into his hazel eyes, and saw how terrified he really was.

"The Slytherins have Lily," she whispered. James let go of her, his mouth open and trembling. She clenched her jaw, and nodded to his horrified denial.

Looking at each of them, she viciously shoved the fear out of her mind and led them up into the forest to where the Slytherins had kept _her_ captive, wanting to push the craven feelings away and become the courageous Gryffindor she was determined to be.

Soon enough, the four of them entered a small clearing that held a flock of Slytherins, green and silver displayed proudly, and a single Gryffindor that was held still with a wand against her throat.

Lucius Malfoy smirked as Hermione led them down the path, clutching Remus' hand. Her stomach lurched at the sight of Malfoy, and she was forced to relive random shards of the awful night he made her experience.

But the shield against him would do no good here; not only would it be useless against his memory, but if Hermione were to will Lucius away, James would never get Lily back.

"Let her go, Malfoy," James snarled. "She didn't do anything!" Malfoy's lips curled into a twisted smile.

"She's a Mudblood; that's crime enough," he said calmly. James twitched in fury, and Sirius kept a tight grip on his arm to hold him back; however, all four of them glared at Malfoy as if they wanted to stab him to death and revive him just for the pleasure of murdering him a second time.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" James growled, trying to vainly shake free of Sirius' grasp.

The world seemed to come to a crashing, ominous halt as Lucius smiled maliciously and slowly pointed to Hermione. "I want _her_."

_**-  
-x-x-x  
-**_

**Author's Notes:** -does a little dance- That was an awesome chapter, I'm sorry, but it was! The ending was just waiting to be written and I was itching to do it! Anyway, a lot was explained in this chapter, and a lot wasn't. If you were confused about the time thing that Lily did, email me and I will personally explain it to you.

So it looks like the shield against Malfoy didn't work, did it? Well, you may think that, but wait and see! Things keep getting better… mwaha.

Thanks for reading! Please **review!**


	17. The Allies

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter or the plot, just this one and the OC characters!

So, hope you enjoyed the last one, and I hope you enjoy this one too!

**Still So Close to You  
****By Darkwing731 **

**- **

((--Chapter Eighteen--))  
The Allies 

-

_"Let her go, Malfoy," James snarled. "She didn't do anything!" Malfoy's lips curled into a twisted smile. _

_"She's a Mudblood; that's crime enough," he said calmly. James twitched in fury, and Sirius kept a tight grip on his arm to hold him back; however, all four of them glared at Malfoy as if they wanted to stab him to death and revive him just for the pleasure of murdering him a second time. _

_"What do you want, Malfoy?" James growled, trying to vainly shake free of Sirius' grasp. _

_The world seemed to come to a crashing, ominous halt as Lucius smiled maliciously and pointed to Hermione. "I want **her**." _

-

"_Her_?" James spluttered, throwing a fleeting glance at Hermione who was clutching Remus like the apocalypse was upon them. "What do you want with _her_?"

"Prongs, this is ridiculous," Remus snarled under his breath, holding the trembling girl close. "We can't _trade _them."

"He doesn't want anything else!" James whispered hysterically; he gazed at Lily worriedly, but she seemed to be alright. One of the Slytherins in front of her was jeering at her, and she kicked him between the legs, smirking as he doubled over in pain.

"You _cannot_ be seriously thinking about trading them," Remus hissed. "We can take them on and get Lily back without having to cause Hermione any harm."

"It's _Jane_, Remus," Hermione added quietly, but there was panic lacing her voice. "If he finds out that you all know, they won't let Lily go until she reveals information, and then we're pressed with a decision."

"She's got a point," Sirius said; without knowing it, they had pulled into a little huddle, and were conversing like a team, setting out to discover the best attack on the field. "Peter?"

"Ask if he wants anything else," Peter suggested with a shrug.

James whipped around; "Anything else, Malfoy, just not her," he spat. Lucius gave him a chilling smile.

"I won't accept what I did not ask for," he drawled. "You know what I want."

Hermione's nerves were crackling with nervousness; Lily was about to be hurt because of her, and they weren't doing anything about it. Hermione knew that she needed to be strong, but doing that did not oblige her to step in for Lily, although she knew James wanted it.

_They do need a spy_, Hermione thought anxiously to herself. _And Malfoy really can't do anything else to me… not since I've got the charm_.

_But that's just him_, she remembered._ The charm works against him only, a-and there are so many other people…_

_But I've got to… I can't let this go on any longer. If I don't show him that I won't be pushed around any longer, then he'll never leave me alone. _

She was so dazed and distraught that she hardly noticed James and Remus snarling at each other like two hungry wolves over a small piece of meat. Before she could rethink, before she could let anyone else protest (even herself), she slipped her hand out of Remus' and turned around to face the Slytherins.

"Fine," she said clearly, and Remus' ranting came to a stuttering halt.

"_Are you MAD_?" he shrieked, promptly grabbing her and clutching her to his chest.

"Remus, think about it," she whispered. "James is right; we can take them on, and Lily and I can get away before they know what's happening, and we can fight them."

"No!" Remus yelled, and Hermione winced. "I'm not letting you! This is absurd!"

"You can't control me Remus," she warned. "I'm doing this for all of us, so don't you dare try and stop me."

"_How_ can you put yourself in this much danger?" he whispered, his eyes round. "Please don't," he murmured pleadingly. "We can find another way."

"I'll trick him then," she whispered, putting her lips to his ear. "I'll hurt him and we can start a riot, and we'll get away. I know it!"

"No—"

"Trust me," she urged. He looked very torn between the idea of her being safe, and the idea of trusting her. "_Please_."

His jaw clenched very tight, his lips pressed together hard to stop their quivering, he let go of her reluctantly. She smiled sadly, and turned to face the Malfoy.

Standing a little in front of the Marauders, she pointed a firm finger at Lily. "Let her go first," she ordered. Lucius smirked, and gestured towards the people that were holding her.

"Such a pretty little Mudblood," one of them cooed snidely, and as James' snarled, Lily kicked him in the shins.

"_Bastard_!" she spat, twisting out of the Slytherins grasp. Hermione watched as she pulled free, glaring at Malfoy hatefully, before sprinting back over to James and into his arms.

Lucius took a step towards Hermione, smiling darkly at her as he drew his wand. Hermione was poised though, and a sly look crossed her face as she faced him.

_I will him as far away as possible!_ was the gleeful thought that flooded her mind and every nerve of her body.

Before anyone could understand what was going on, it appeared as if some unseen force had punched Malfoy square in the stomach and sent him flying hundreds of feet backwards. As Lucius was yelling in fear, the group of people in the clearing watched his flight in shock that was mingled with awe.

Lucius landed with an audible noise, and a painful groan echoed over the silent people. Hermione was broken out of her reverie of happiness, joyous that she had successfully hurt Lucius, by wishing that she had taken the opportunity to run.

"_Get her_!" he snarled, and as Hermione clenched in fear, the Slytherins turned as one.

"_Run_!" Hermione shrieked, fleeing herself. James grabbed Lily and flung him over her shoulder and started sprinting, Sirius and Peter close behind. Hermione raced towards them, taking Remus' hand as he ran alongside her, and they fled together.

Suddenly, Hermione felt her ankles give out, and with a cry she fell to the ground. "Trip Jinx!" she yelled, and Remus grabbed and arm and dragged her up, and they ran harder than before.

But the fall was their downfall, because in the next moment, Hermione was victim to "_Locomotor mortis_!" Her muscles locking up and her knees buckling, she dropped to the ground like a stone, managing to turn face up.

"_Finite_!" Remus supplied quickly. "_Impedimenta_! _Locomotor mortis_! _Densaugeo_!" he shrieked, sending down Slytherins as they attacked.

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" Remus barely managed to shield himself of the jinx, and helping Hermione stand up, she launched herself into attack mode.

"_Confundus_! _Expelliarmus_!" she screamed furiously. Turning this way and that, she threw Babbling Charms and hexes, jinxes and charms, and managed to strip them of all their wands and consciousness. "_Petrificus Totalus_! _Tarantallegra_! _Stupefy_!"

Lucius hadn't caught up with the group, and Hermione was feeling invigorated and impulsive; fire surged through her veins and all she wanted was the sweet taste of revenge by kicking his _arse_.

"Come _on_," Remus urged, pulling her away by the wrist. The Marauders were waiting hesitantly a few meters away, having seen Hermione take the entire group down.

"No," she snarled, struggling to rip her wrist away from Remus. "I want to take _him_ on too. Let's see how powerful he is all alone," she shouted, bristling.

She felt as if she was facing _Draco_ Malfoy, and not his father. She felt as if this was Ron, tugging on her sleeve, and Harry and Ginny were waiting uncertainly a few paces away. She felt as if he had called her a Mudblood, and her revenge was scaring the hell out of him.

But no matter how much she pretended, Lucius Malfoy was much more dangerous than what she believed at that moment, and Remus knew that. They all knew that.

"He can hurt you," Remus reminded her quietly. "Let's just go." Logic crashed over her, and fighting the bitter swell of acceptance that she was weak inside, she turned and ran as fast as she could past the Marauders, who caught on and started following her silently. Moving swiftly, she led them to the Shrieking Shack and into the tunnel.

"This is a good ideal; Malfoy'll think that we've gone out the regular path, and cut through the woods to stop us," Remus pointed out. "And since everyone here knows about this tunnel and the Shrieking Shack, it just makes our job easier, right?"

"Wasn't_ I_ right?" Hermione asked him as they made it safely back to the castle, watching as James was singing out happily, twirling Lily around in his arms and constantly kissing her giggling mouth. Hermione still felt twinges of adrenaline through her veins, and Remus sighed in defeat.

"How could I not be scared, though? After everything that he's done to you?" Remus asked quietly, taking her hand. Hermione stared into his ginger eyes and couldn't find the right words to say to him.

"I don't know why I did it Remus," she confessed in a low voice. "It was stupid, but then again, I've not been myself lately." Remus tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and leaned down, putting his forehead against hers.

"Don't do it again," he said with a crooked smile. "I don't want him taking over another time."

Hermione felt her insides twist up with something she couldn't quite place, whether it was at his words or the rush of affection she felt at his protective words. She smiled up into his eyes, wishing that it had always been like this, wishing that she had never made the utterly foolish mistakes that she had before.

"I won't let him," she promised in a whisper.

"Truly?" Remus questioned, and Hermione nodded firmly. "Then let's go to Dumbledore and have him expelled."

His words sent a wave crashing into her, and her head jerked back away from his as she considered his suggestion. Expel Lucius Malfoy? _Is that possible?_ Hermione wondered. _Well, yes… yes it **is**! _

Despite the disbelief and doubt that had originally flooded her, Hermione felt like Christmas had come early. Expel him! They could _expel_ him! Everything that he had ever done to her, all the paranoia that had been haunting her, the torment she had been putting herself through would now be faced with the ultimate revenge; _eradicating_ _him. _

_I promised myself that I won't do this any longer_, she thought firmly. _I'm not putting up with him. He's taking away all of my power, and now I'm going to take away his_.

She hadn't felt this happy in such a long time; she bounced with euphoria into Remus' arms and embraced him, kissing his cheeks as he spun her around. She jumped down at last, and feeling such a rush, her face split into a wide grin.

"Yes! Yes, let's do it!" she cried, and grabbed his hands and danced around. Remus started laughing wildly, but it was nothing compared to Hermione's delirious mirth.

"Has she escaped the Looney Ward?" Sirius whispered to Peter, who was standing nearby. They were watching Hermione bounce around uncontrollably, beaming brighter than a beacon and happier than she had ever been before.

"Maybe Mooney proposed to her," Peter suggested. Sirius seemed to consider this thought before he gasped.

"Wormtail! Oh me oh _my_! Mooney, _Looney_!" he rhymed, and he and Peter hooked arms and danced around, imitating the other couple, laughing merrily.

"Okay, who's got the chocolate?" James demanded angrily, seeing the energy rush between his friends. "You _know_ you've got to share!"

"I have chocolate!" Remus said, pulling it out of his cloak.

"But… it's a _whole bar._ You _never_ have a full bar!" James whispered excitedly. Remus shrugged. "What's going on, then?"

"Remus had a brilliant idea," Hermione said, and pulled James closer. Within seconds the whole group wanted to hear, and they formed a little huddle. "Let's have Malfoy expelled!"

"Can we do that?" Lily asked. Hermione nodded.

"If we have incriminating evidence against him, then yes, we certainly can," she said gleefully.

"Why haven't you thought of this before, then?" Sirius asked Hermione. Her face fell instantaneously, and Remus shot Sirius a dirty look.

"I-I don't know, actually," she admitted in a small voice. "I've been feeling rather… powerless lately."

Hermione's distinctively cheerful aura suddenly diminished, and everyone could see the confidence draining from her eyes.

"We'll still do it," Lily piped up. "He's done plenty, and we've got witnesses!"

"But Lily…" Peter started hesitantly. "So does _he_."

Hermione and Remus exchanged a worried glance. "We can do it," he said finally. "I won't rest until he's gone." She remained silent and cast a forlorn look towards the ground.

James put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder, and she looked up with heavy eyes. "If we can't get rid of _him_, we'll get rid of his power."

A brief thought crossed her mind, and Hermione caught it before it could escape with trained hands, like a cat entrapping a bird. Examining his words, she found that _his_ idea was in a way, ideal, and more so than Remus' idea.

_Cut off his power, and he'll have no where to go_, she realized. _Just like he did to me_.

She knew then that she would put heart and soul into finding as much evidence as possible to finally prosecute the students that had been indirectly causing her all of this trouble—his followers.

_The Illimni_.

_-x-x-x- _

A group of boys huddled outside of the great hall, whispering to each other and shoving each other around like mates do. It was lunchtime, and only stray students were out in the corridors now.

As a few students filed out of the greenhouses and walked slowly up the path, the boys seemed to start up with excitement.

"Here she comes, here she comes!" a Ravenclaw hissed. The boys dug around in their cloak pockets, searching for coins.

A pair of Gryffindors walked by, and the boy let out a whistle. "Jane Lewis, looking _nice_. I'd like some company tonight, care to stop by?"

The chattering girls stopped dead in their tracks, turning slowly to face the audacious boy who dared speak out among his friends; the brave one was pushed forward a few steps by his sniggering mates.

"C'mon, ignore these prats," a redhead, known as Lily, said coldly as she glared. The other one, Jane Lewis, tensed up visibly, and the Ravenclaw smirked.

"Aw, don't ignore me, I know how you like it," he spoke up, and his mates started howling with laughter. The boy chuckled himself. "I even brought more money than you're used to!"

Jane faced him and glared, and her hand suddenly withdrew its wand, her knuckles white and clenched, her lips lifted in a snarl.

"_No_, Herm_—_"

"_Furnunculus_!" she screamed; the Ravenclaw boy started shrieking in blistering pain, and soon he lost all control of his body as his face erupted in hideous, swelling boils. The two Gryffindors left the scene before anyone could stop them.

"Those _little­—_"

"It's the damn pictures," Hermione seethed. "The ones that the Slytherins took! They've made me out to be a-a _scarlet woman_!"

Lily gave her a sideways look, and Hermione flushed, partly out of frustration, and out of embarrassment.

"Sorry," she muttered. "My friend says that sometimes… it's grown on me."

_Oh Ronald, you imbecile_, she thought wistfully, thinking only good things about him. She missed him, she really did… and it was amazing how much he had affected her; here she was, saying his ridiculous phrases!

"We have to take them down," Lily said angrily.

"Well we can't! We aren't pureblood!" Hermione huffed, hitching her bag over her shoulder. "Then again… that's never stopped me before."

"Yeah; if you can't touch them, then get your mates to do it for you," Lily pointed out, and Hermione nodded. "_And_ we can also bring them to an authority's attention, if it hasn't been already, and they'll take 'em right down!"

"Except I still don't know anyone in this school very much, excluding the Marauders… and you," Hermione added, and Lily smiled.

"Oh don't worry! We've got your typical rats in every house that love to spill to the professors: Michellyn Parker in Hufflepuff, Damocles Belby in Ravenclaw, Calum O'Boyle in Gryffindor—"

"Did you say Damocles Belby?" Hermione interrupted, and Lily nodded, after a moment.

"You seem to… recognize the name," the redhead responded slowly. Hermione agreed, a plan stitching itself together meticulously in her head.

"That's because I do," she said. "Anyway, mustn't linger any longer."

"You're avoiding the subject," Lily stated knowingly.

"Thank you, I had no idea," Hermione said sarcastically. Lily snorted, and the two girls entered the great hall for lunch.

"Whad toog you doh long?" Sirius asked through a mouthful of food. Lily grimaced as pre-chewed chicken fell from his mouth.

"We were having a discussion with Professor Sprout," Lily said, looking disgusted as she watched Sirius eat his meal.

"About?" James asked, also piling lunch into his mouth.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," Lily said sarcastically.

"Looking for extra credit on that essay she gave us?" Remus asked Hermione knowingly. She nodded, carefully choosing food.

"Remus… I was wondering, when is your birthday?" Hermione asked as casually as she could.

"Already happened!" James supplied, as he overhead. "Mooney here turned _eighteen_."

"It was spectacular!" Sirius chimed in.

"What are you talking about? It was an awful birthday! I never even got a party, or presents!" Remus cried, throwing chicken at Sirius and James, who ducked.

"I remembered!" Peter said. "I just… didn't say anything." He smiled sheepishly at Remus' look.

"It's fine though; we never did much anyway," Remus said. Hermione was unintentionally shoved out of the conversation as the Marauders relived their birthdays and the parties that accompanied the dates.

_I'll get him a belated present then… he'll love it_, Hermione thought with a grin. Not bothering to become involved in their laughing anecdotes, Hermione chose to think about a few certain things, mainly Peter.

She knew that a year or so from now, Peter Pettigrew would utterly betray the Potters, and everyone friend he had and cross over to Voldemort, becoming another loathsome Death Eater.

_But why?_ Hermione pondered, observing Peter as he and the Marauders joked around, retelling stories and throwing food at each other. _He looks up to the three of them more than anything. How could he betray them? _

She thought for a moment, and the scent of murder drifted through her mind. _His mother was murdered, of course! Maybe that explains a few things… perhaps he was seeking vengeance or power over his enemies? _

_He also said he knew, in a way, what happened. They reported a death, but he knew it was a murder… so how could he not say anything? What was going on with his mother that made him believe she was murdered for it? _

Hermione stopped eating, her hand halfway in the air holding a sandwich, and sat there pensively, succumbing to the thought of Peter's mysterious betrayal and all the things that must've instigated it.

Hermione tapped her cheek; _maybe she was connected to Voldemort, and perhaps Peter wanted to make up for his mothers mistakes? But that doesn't explain why he would betray his best friends… well, she is a family member. _

The thing was, Hermione didn't know enough about Peter to make a logical argument and conclusion; she had neglected the chance of getting to know him, and thus left the horrifying mystery of his betrayal out in the open without being able to solve it.

_Maybe I could ask Remus, discreetly, of course_, she mused. There was nothing else she really could do, unless she drew Peter aside and had a good one-on-one conversation…

_Well his mother died, so I **could** be offering condolences… _Hermione sighed and cupped her head in her hands; _this is so difficult_.

"Jane? Janie Jane!" Hermione gave James a dry look. "We thought of something very brilliant for this, shall we say, Plan Expel? See, we can go to the Room of Requirement and take a Pensieve or two, empty out our memories, and give them to Dumbledore."

"I was planning on doing that later," Hermione said wearily, and Sirius snickered as James face fell.

"Well I thought it was brilliant," he mumbled. Lily patted his arm sympathetically.

"Anyway, I'm off to the library. I want a head start on Sprout's essay, and I've a few other things to do," Hermione explained, slinging her bag over her shoulder. She snatched a biscuit, gave a little wave, and left the hall.

As she walked, she knew that perhaps she should feel scared, being all alone in the corridor without anyone to help her. But she didn't _need_ any help, and she proved more than capable of defending herself when she took on the group of Slytherins. It was only Malfoy that worried her, yet Malfoy was taken care of. He couldn't touch her, couldn't come anywhere near her, and she was protected from him forever.

_What about the Illimni? They're still in power, longer than I thought… _Hermione trudged slowly, her head hung as she dissected the idea of these females still thriving. _I think Rose might be their leader… she's been having an awful lot of help from Malfoy though, so I don't understand why they haven't joined forces with the Death Eaters yet… or maybe they have. _

_But that doesn't explain why Lucius has been doing everything for them, and they only doing so little for themselves. What's in it for him? _

"Voldemort, of course," she whispered in comprehension. _If he can control a group of people inside a school, and destroy lives in mere months, Voldemort will think very highly of him, making Lucius… _

"As powerful as he is today," she murmured. "Oh, this is just awful," Hermione moaned in anxiousness.

"What's awful?" Hermione spun around to see Remus catching up to her, a smile on his face.

"Just thinking…" she mumbled, lacing her fingers in his as he took her hand.

"You seem to do that a lot," he observed. She nodded.

"I've got a lot to think about," she admitted. "Listen, Remus, I wanted to talk to you about something anyway; I was thinking, instead of having Malfoy expelled, we have all of his allies expelled or suspended," she suggested, and Remus considered this.

"This cuts off all of his power," he said, and Hermione nodded eagerly.

"Exactly, it's just what I wanted. Malfoy played the same game, taking away all of my friends and making me powerless, so I thought, why not him? Why can't I do the very same thing?" she asked excitedly.

"So, who first?"

"The girls; once we get rid of the Illimni, then he'll be forced to turn to his only other friends, therefore singling them out," Hermione started heatedly. "He'll put himself in such a position that he won't be able to _do_ anything."

"You knew about the Illimni, I nearly forgot! What is it?" Remus asked, interested.

"Well," she began, lowering her voice immensely. "It's a group of girls that, at first, wanted to be Voldemort's most prized Death Eaters. However, he didn't want females doing his dirty work since girls are known to be a bit more squeamish, so they banded together and, after making sure Death Eaters in the school were watching them, destroyed people's lives. Doing this made them valuable to Voldemort, because not only did some of the girls possess bloodlust, but a vast amount went on to become spies."

"So… so basically, they're Junior Death Eaters?" Remus whispered, wide-eyed, and Hermione nodded. "And Malfoy is the one that's watching him, isn't he? He's going to give You-Know-Who the thumbs up on these girls?"

"Say his name, Remus. Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself," Hermione said with a curt nod. "And no; Malfoy's actually controlling them, while instead it seems that he's guiding them. Doing so, Voldemort will see Malfoy as a valuable Death Eater, and he'll be very powerful."

"Huh."

Remus and Hermione continued on in silence, Hermione thinking deeply about Malfoy and the influences he had, and Remus about Hermione, or rather, the Jane Lewis he had seemed to know. Despite their talk in the Room of Requirement, when Remus had finally revealed Hermione for who she was, he still knew very little about her.

He knew the basics, and he knew how anxious she was; he knew she was studious, fierce, intelligent beyond comprehension and beautiful beyond words. She was homesick and brave, scared and weak at the same time, and more courageous than a Gryffindor could be. She was selfless and understanding, clever and kind… and still a complete enigma to him.

She was willing to open up to him, yet she refused to shed light on certain topics. He understood that she might be preventing major mistakes in the future, but still, she could at least spare that excuse instead of changing the subject without warning. She could _pretend_ to own up to her glaringly obvious mistakes, ones that she did not admit while she admitted others.

_She admits that Malfoy was controlling her, yet she doesn't shed light on how… she won't accept help in fear of being weak_, Remus thought heavily. _She's proud… but less now than ever. _

"What did Malfoy do to you?" Remus blurted suddenly before he could think about what reaction his words would provoke. Hermione stiffed and said nothing. "Hermione?"

"He… he just hurt me," she muttered, staring at the ground.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about," Remus said quietly. "You don't have to tell me what happen, but just… the extent of his actions." He thought about his words and deduced that they sounded a little selfish and mean.

"Well, sorry, I didn't mean it like that," he apologized. "What I mean is… I'm concerned, we're _all_ concerned, about what he did to you, and we just want to help you. We've speculated, but…" Hermione still remained silent.

"Did he rape you?" he asked, sounding worried. Hermione gripped her schoolbag tightly, and then sighed raggedly.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said finally. She grimaced at the implication of her ignoring the question, but she didn't care. She didn't want to analyze what had happened to see what he really _had_ done to her.

"Did he?" Remus asked sharply, grabbing her arm. Hermione wouldn't look at him, and her face was burning in shame. "This isn't something stupid! I'm being entirely serious!"

"No, he didn't!" she shouted suddenly. "But Merlin knows if you hadn't shown up that he would've; he was so close to it, Remus, but I couldn't do a damn thing about it!" She looked steadily at him and felt a surge of emotion rush through her before she let out a tight noise. "I was a puppet in his hands. I was so _useless_."

"Hermione—"

"No, I don't want to hear that you're sorry, Remus, or that you're sympathetic, and that you want to help me, because there's nothing to help!" she screamed. "It's already over, it's already happened, and there's no use _dwelling_ on the past!"

Remus stood still, watching her emotions crumble the wall she had built around herself. He felt horrible for bringing it up and making her relive it, but he knew that it had to be done one time or another. Carefully moving towards her, he pulled her into an embrace and she sniffed bitterly into his shoulder.

"I didn't mean to make you think about it, but…" Remus muttered into silence, and Hermione nodded into his shoulder, pulling back and wiping her face.

"I know, Remus; I'm sorry for yelling at you, but it was just… I haven't been weak since now. I've never been victim to power like that before. I couldn't stop him because he wasn't using magic, a-and… I didn't know what to do," she whispered, and Remus smiled half-heartedly, knowing just how bitter she felt and unable to convey that in any expression.

"Sometimes… it's better to accept the things we refuse to face," Remus said quietly, thinking. "They haunt us continually and until we force them away, they will always be there."

Hermione knew he was thinking distantly about his werewolf form, but she knew he was referring to Malfoy, being in the dilemma she was in. She pressed his face into his shoulder and sighed.

"It is better to succumb to pain than try to stop it," she mumbled into his robes. "Once it hits you, fully-fledged and angry, you can determine how to control it."

Remus said nothing, but held her tighter, intertwining his fingers around her and into her hair, embracing her as they stood together. Once again, they seemed to merge as one in spirit rather than two similar and different people; the tension of their bodies filled each crevice the other had, no curve went unfilled, and no breath was out of beat with the other. Neither of them knew anything else, at that moment, than each other, and gladly, they would each wish that all they _ever_ knew was each other.

_-x-x-x- _

James awkwardly gathered up three large basins, carved with ancient runes and quaint markings, spelled woven into the stuff, echoes spilling off the mist at the bottom.

"Okay, take this or I will drop it most deliberately," James snapped, graciously handing over the large bowls to Peter and Lily, who scooped them up.

"I don't think we'll need that many," Lily said hesitantly, looking down at the old bowl in her hands. "One Pensieve can hold a lifetime's supply of memories." James and Peter immediately put the others down.

"But," Hermione asked, "aren't I the only one providing evidence?"

"No," argued Remus at once. "I've seen a fair share of bad doings from Lucius Malfoy. Especially to you."

"And so have I," James piped up.

"When?" Hermione demanded. James remained silent, thinking.

"… Well never. But—but he always said things—"

"_Saying_ things isn't going to get him expelled, James," Hermione hissed. "The most I'll get from that is a restraining order—never mind," she added to their looks of confusion, despite Lily's nod of agreement.

"I'm the only one that's seen anything," Remus said quietly.

"But only to Jane!" Sirius interrupted. "We all saw what they did to Lily!"

As if cued, the group turned and looked at Lily. "They err, startled me, stunned me, and when I woke up they had a wand against my throat and you were all there."

"She didn't even have a chance to kick their arses," James said sadly, and Hermione inferred that Lily had already filled her boyfriend in.

"Well that's not incriminating _Malfoy_, just his loser friends," Hermione said angrily. "I mean, that _is_ what I want, but it would be a bit nice to have him gone and out of the way for a while."

"You've got it all, Hermione," Lily comforted. "Dumbledore _knows_ you; surely he'd believe you over a Slytherin, that slimy bunch of traitors." Hermione tried not to look nervously over at Peter.

"All right," Hermione agreed finally. She drew her wand, and set the basin in Remus' hands, mulling over the painful, terrifying, annoying and plainly frustrating memories that were all connected to Malfoy.

She thought hard about the night he caught her at last, the night Remus saved her. Her wand hand trembling, the small wooden rod left her temple with a stream of iridescent silver mercuric liquid, mist encasing it like a blanket around a baby. Placing that into the Pensieve, she did the same thing, this time thinking hard about Valentine's Day…

The list went on and on, his attacks and his clever remarks that eventually led her to trouble, whether it was being backed into a corner or being shoved up against a wall. By the time she was finished, she felt like crying and screaming out in anger at the same time, so torn by the extremely different emotions all she could do was wail.

"And yours, Remus," Hermione said, sniffling, after she had stopped grieving over her memories.

Remus clenched his wand and closed his eyes slowly, the imagery in his head bringing nothing but seething fury; slowly he withdrew the night that Malfoy exposed Hermione, quite literally, and placed it within the basin. Then, recalling the very first time he had stopped Malfoy, he thought about the night where they had, on similar terms, decided to be friends and ignore the attraction between them.

"Anything else?" Sirius asked, and Remus shook his head. Sirius thought for a moment. "Wait, Lily and I saw the meeting of that Slytherin group, remember? And then the closet incident happened…" Sirius turned a faint pink, and James shot him a glare.

"Yeah!" agreed Lily. "And I was also the one they kidnapped too. I can put that into the Pensieve."

Sirius and James also decided to pull whatever evidence they had. Pulling the silvery memories from their temples, they stored the memories in the Pensieve and looked at their thoughts in fascination, glimpses of opaque faces at the surface before they died away.

Hermione sighed, tired, and just wanted to get this over with. All she could think about was how nice it would be to sleep, to just forget about this awful mess she was in for just a _moment_, to just be at peace. "Let's go," she murmured, and feeling particularly out of place for a minute, led the group of teenagers towards Dumbledore's office.

_-x-x-x- _

"This… _is_ exceptional evidence," Dumbledore said at last in response to the anxiousness and demands of the Gryffindors. "However, I cannot use expulsion without giving a student a fair chance to defend themselves." James growled in protest, and Sirius actually swore. "I will call the select students out of classes, and give them each one day to procure witnesses and allies for their defense. Should they not produce anything, or if I can easily disprove their claim, they will be expelled."

"Alright," Remus said quietly. He looked at Hermione, and she could sense that, whatever he was about to say, he didn't mean it. "It is only fair," he whispered, and Hermione smiled faintly, squeezing his hand.

Lily nodded, taking James' by the hand, whispering an audible 'Thank You', and turned and left, James doing the same. One by one, they all nodded in appreciation and left, until Hermione was left, gesturing for Remus to go along without her.

Hermione sat nervously, clutching her skirt in her hands and trying to decide what piece of news she should deliver to the headmaster first. Would it be worthy of detention, or worthy of facing Azkaban?

"They know," Hermione said quietly, knowing the old man had heard her. "They all do, even Peter, about me."

"How?" Dumbledore was aware, somehow, of what she was talking about. He did not sound angry, or disappointed, but merely curious.

Hermione shifted; "Truth be told, I'm not exactly sure. Lily and Sirius overheard some Slytherins talking, and Peter's been unintentionally eavesdropping on several meetings of the Illimni. And I also suspect that the Marauders used their, um, device… it helps with pranks, you see," Hermione said weakly.

"What do you mean, helps with pranks?" Dumbledore inquired, smiling. Hermione knew telling him would bring no consequences on the boys.

"They've made a map that shows the locations of every person in this school, and their name. One of them must've finally pieced together that Jane Lewis was never on the map, and Hermione Granger was someone they didn't know," she responded.

Dumbledore nodded, and with a slight pause, segued onto a fragile subject, speaking with a most careful tone to his voice.

"I'm terribly sorry for all that you've had to endure, Miss Granger. I can only promise you that I will look for all the evidence and support I can to have Mr. Malfoy expelled. Something like that should not have happened, especially not in this castle… but things have a way of going unseen, especially when power is involved," Dumbledore murmured. "Miss Granger—"

"It's alright, Professor," Hermione whispered, closing her eyes and forcing herself to picture again the horrible night. "Mistakes and fear are what help us to move forward. It has already happened, and I can only heal. But thank you," she said at last, looking sincerely at him. "I think it would be ideal if we didn't discuss it though."

Dumbledore agreed silently and abruptly switched the subject. "Have you any ideas of what future plans the Illimni might have?"

"No, sir," Hermione answered, grateful that he accepted her request. "The only one of us that might would be Peter, and I don't know how open he is. Ever since his mother passed away…"

"Ah yes, the murder," Dumbledore murmured. Hermione narrowed her eyes, knowing something wasn't right.

"Murder? Do you have any suspects, professor?" Hermione asked quickly. "They listed it as an accident, but Peter suspected otherwise…"

"Lord Voldemort, of course." Dumbledore sighed, standing slowly. Hermione watched him as he stepped silently over to the side of the room, and opening a cabinet door with a mirror on it, he allowed a pool of silver light to dance on the floor.

_Our Pensieves_, she realized.

"Lord Voldemort is growing stronger," he said gravely. "More and more join him everyday. He wants nothing more than to, indefinitely, eliminate the ranks I have built by creating a spy. The Potters have been a close, helpful family since the beginning of the Order of the Phoenix; Voldemort is well aware of this, and I can only surmise that he is trying to get through quietly by means of James Potter." Hermione gasped.

"But, Peter! Peter's mother!" Hermione burst out, confused.

"Sirius Black is a close friend of James, is he not?" Dumbledore asked, and she nodded, bemused as to what Sirius had to do with it. "The Blacks have, mostly, been true to their name. They dabble in the Dark Arts, and they only wish to see me dead. Young Sirius, however, is the only Black to ever practice the light."

Hermione sat in the silence as Dumbledore's voice finally faded, and she was not puzzled any longer. She knew very well what Dumbledore was implying, what he was trying to plant into Hermione's mind, and she understood.

"If not Sirius, then Peter; they _are_ such close friends," Hermione realized sadly. "Sirius' family must've seen the opportunity, and told their master."

"Precisely; by doing such to Mr. Pettigrew's mother, Mr. Potter will be vulnerable," Dumbledore explained.

"But that's not his mother!" Hermione protested.

"Ah, but can a brother, especially one who loves so deeply, not feel the misfortune the other has had?" Hermione bowed her head, disturbed that James and Peter were as close as the Headmaster implied, and that Dumbledore could sense it better than anyone else.

"Now, because you now understand what Mr. Pettigrew is currently enduring, his vulnerability will spread without his group of friends, and you, in fact, will be most affected," Dumbledore predicted in a low voice. "Since the beginning, the girls in the Illimni have been very clever. They wield power but force others to do it for them. Can you not think of someone that truly knows who you are, and is or has harmed you?"

"Lucius Malfoy, of course," Hermione answered. "But _he's_ using the Illimni, not the other way around. By controlling a group like that which has power all over the school, then Lord Voldemort will hold him in his high praises."

"Ah, you've stumbled upon that. They are unknowingly using each other, which is undeniably bad for them. I believe you know why, Miss Granger." Dumbledore was smiling mysteriously, and Hermione thought for a moment, wondering what on earth he was talking about—

"Allies," she said suddenly. "The allies! Together they are strong, but apart—"

"They are weak, yes. I doubt Lucius Malfoy knows that he is dealing with such a force, and shoving you around puts his position in danger, does it not?"

"It does. Can you do anything about it?"

"I've tried several times, but the Malfoys are most influential. Young Mr. Malfoy has a strong hold over the Slytherin house, as you can see, and despite all the evidence you have here against him, I fear it will not be enough."

"That's fine," Hermione said grimly. "I want his resources to be taken away. I want him to feel as if there's no where to turn anymore."

"Revenge is something not to be taken lightly; it is a very powerful thing," Dumbledore reminded her quietly.

"And so is justice!" she retorted fiercely. "He deserves all the pain he gets, sir." Dumbledore sighed and remained silent; Hermione felt a bit awkward, and cast her mind out to the thousands of other questions troubling her.

"Will I be sent to Azkaban?" she whispered. "I revealed my identity. They know I'm from the _future_."

"So does Lord Voldemort, my dear."

"But… how?"

Dumbledore smiled ruefully, and Hermione scrutinized him carefully as he reached into his robes, and gingerly retrieved a small object. He began to unwrap its velvety cover, and soon, Hermione gasped.

"Because of _this_." Lying in his hand… was a time-turner.

**_-  
_****_-x-x-x  
_****_- _**

**Author's Notes:** well that was something interesting, eh? I've been trying to figure out with the entire, who is she and how do you know bit, and this was my only solution. But don't worry, it's only a quick detour, I promise.

Aiming for 30 chapters!

Thanks for reading, and please **review! **


	18. Hidden Opportunities

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, just several original characters and this plot that was suddenly dead for a long time!

Jeez sorry about the wait. My bad! I had a lot a stuff going on… enough of my chatter, on with the story!

**Still So Close to You  
****By Darkwing731  
**-  
((--Chapter Nineteen--))  
Hidden Opportunities

-

_"Will I be sent to Azkaban?" she whispered. "I revealed my identity. They know I'm from the future_

_"So does Lord Voldemort__, my dear."_

_"But… how?" _

_Dumbledore smiled ruefully, and Hermione scrutinized him carefully as he reached into his robes, and gingerly retrieved a small object. He began to unwrap its velvety cover, and soon, H__ermione gasped._

_"Because of __." Lying __in his hand… was a time-turner._

Hermione, for a moment, did nothing but stare at the small object in his hand, wiped clean of any emotion that should've overwhelmed her. Her gasp came straight before this, right before the crisp feeling of nothingness, and again after the abrupt flood of memories from third year. She blinked, hard, and looked back at her Headmaster.

Dumbledore tilted his head forward, almost grimly, and held out the object to the girl before him. Hermione took it gingerly, careful not to turn the time-wheel, the one that had thrown her hours back in time in third year…

_I can't think of __that__ now,_ Hermione thought firmly to herself. She couldn't afford to dwell.

"I've got to go back, haven't I?" Hermione asked Dumbledore quietly. She gazed down at the golden colored object, complete with ridges and sand, enhanced magic and wards, power flowing from it to her fingertips.

"I would myself, Miss Granger, but I have a feeling that if a student saw double of me, bad things would arise quickly. And that is almost irrelevant, because that is not how I remember it," he said gently. Hermione lifted her gaze to meet his eyes, and she nodded.

"I'll do what I must, Professor. After all, it's already happened, hasn't it?" She laughed a little at this, but it was bitter. Dumbledore only smiled ruefully.

"You'll go back to Tom Riddle's time, when I taught transfiguration and he was still merely an ambitious, cunning schoolboy, in 1943. All you will be doing, Miss Granger, is walking into my classroom and handing me a note, written by myself. Then, you will come back to this time," Dumbledore explained slowly, sitting down at this desk with a tired sigh. Still, his clear blue eyes twinkled at her.

Hermione nodded, comprehending the task. It was actually quite simple, but lately she had been turning simple things into complex, dangerous ones.

"But sir, what about Voldemort? How does he ascertain who I am?" Hermione blurted at once. "I mean, after all, you said this was started by my going back in time…"

"The thing is, Miss Granger, I'm not exactly certain as to when Tom Riddle first saw you, or realized who you were," Dumbledore murmured. "It is a mystery to me, and if I did know you would not be here."

"Sir," Hermione started slowly. "If your task for me is to go back to 1943, hand you a note, and travel back to this very moment, why couldn't I just use _this_ time-turner to go forward to 1997?"

"Because it was not a time-turner that brought you," Dumbledore deduced. "It was a Time Charm, woven into a book, correct?"

"Yes," Hermione muttered, wondering for a brief second how Dumbledore knew how she had arrived. "You'll tell yourself the exact date and time I arrived, won't you? In the note. Who I am and the purpose of my being here."

"And several other important matters. Miss Granger, if there was any means possible to hurl you through time back to your own time, it would be done immediately." Dumbledore closed his eyes for a moment, and looked wearier than Hermione had ever seen him. "Unfortunately, you stumbled upon an invention that was not mine, and I do not know the extension or its properties or magic. Time can only run its path before you are placed where you ought to be."

"It's all right, sir. I don't know when I'll be going home, and I'm aware it could be at any given moment, so I am making the best of this now. It's closer to the end of the year, and I'm not sure if I'll be here tomorrow or not." Hermione turned the precious piece in her hands over, rotating it very slowly. "I'm prepared for the worst, but I yearn for the best. But I know that guarantees nothing."

Dumbledore folded his hands on his desk, long fingers laced together. The silence that hovered in the air between them was not awkward, but pensive more than anything. "I'm ready, sir," Hermione whispered.

"All you must do it take my note, do not read it or open it at any costs, for then it will be useless and I shan't trust it; find my classroom and hand it to me. Avoid speaking with any other students, unless you absolutely must," the Headmaster said firmly. "It's simply for your safety."

"I understand."

Dumbledore took his wand and stood; he summoned a book, large and ancient, its dank smell pouring off like the ancient whispering spells that Hermione knew were hidden inside. The professor opened to the middle, and touching the tip of his wand to the book, slowly began waving the rod in circular patterns. He switched to intricate movements before placing a hard, final rap on the yellowy page. Like the contents of a cauldron appearing out of its mist, a small piece of parchment slowly emerged, folded over and sealed with stamped wax.

Hermione stared at the newborn looking parchment as Dumbledore held it. "I wrote it just a few days ago," he informed her. "Somehow, I knew this day would come shortly after."

A half-smile crept onto her face. "It would have to. Things do not happen slowly at Hogwarts."

"Come here." Beckoning her, Hermione took a few steps towards Dumbledore, and traded the time-turner for the note. He carefully undid its golden chain, and gently looped it around Hermione's neck. She ignored the cold metal, and forced a calm breath through her lungs.

"Remember, Miss Granger, speak to no one…" he reminded her, quickly revolving the time-wheel, faster and faster before everything was slipping away.

"I know the laws," she managed to say before reality seemed to be caught in a mixing machine, rotating slowly but progressing rapidly.

She was familiar with this, but Hermione couldn't help but feel slightly nauseated as Dumbledore's office dissolved from her vision, only to be replaced by blurs, bright and vivid that swarmed around her like angry bees. She clamped her eyes shut, praying that this would be over shortly, that nothing would go wrong this time—

It was almost as if she had touched a portkey—the spinning world slammed to a halt and Hermione almost fell to her knees. Wobbling, she pushed away the sickness and looked around: she was in the Headmaster's office.

Only, it was Professor Dippet's.

Thanking the gods that Headmaster Dippet wasn't in his office at the moment, Hermione pocketed the precious note, tucked the time-turner into her shirt and crept out of the cavernous room quickly and silently; she raced down the stairs, careful to stay on her toes to avoid the sound of her heels, and fled into the hallway as soon as she reached the bottom.

Hermione's heart hammered in her chest, but she knew it shouldn't be a reason to delay her; racing up the halls, ones etched in her memories like her very own house, she quickly took the route to the Transfiguration room.

Turning the last corner, she walked swiftly to the door, at last relieved that it was nearly over, and stood in the threshold. The appreciative feeling withered when the Professor, who was not Dumbledore, who wasn't even _male_, halted her lecture and stared at Hermione. One by one, students began to turn in their seats and look, but by then Hermione had enough tact to flee.

"They moved the room!" Hermione whispered to herself, panicking. "_Why did they move the Transfiguration room_?"

Moving hurriedly, Hermione detoured through the majority of the castle, glimpsing class after class, all which were taught by teachers unknown to her. She felt almost as if Dumbledore had played a trick on her, and was waiting to pop out at her, but her Headmaster was not amused by _that_ sort of humor.

She paused by a corner, and leant against it, ruminating. There were only several obvious places left, those she would check indefinitely, but the question nagging her was _why would they move the room_?

"This shouldn't happen, it's not _crop_ rotation. It would just be easier if they were in the same place! Maybe…" But she could not supply herself with any kind of answer that would satisfy her confusion.

_I'm wasting time_, she thought angrily to herself. She shook her head, and turned to the corner, promptly ramming into another student. They both went flailing on the floor at the sudden impact, and by the time Hermione had began to apologize—

"Watch it, you fool! I should give you a detention for this!" Hermione had knocked over a handsome looking boy, dark haired and dark eyed. She flustered momentarily, but bristled without other delay.

"Watch _yourself_, you myopic prat!" Hermione snarled; she stood indignantly and brushed herself off, before pointing an accusing finger in the boys face. "And if you had any decency to actually _read_ the Head Book—" She saw, to her disgust, that the jerk was Head Boy. "—you would be enlightened by the fact that accidents are _hardly_ worthy of detentions."

Giving him a haughty look, Hermione turned on her heel and left the open-mouthed boy on the floor. It was only seconds before his hurried footsteps caught up with her. He jumped in front of her and stopped her, actually holding onto her shoulder. Hermione glanced at his hand, and then observed; _now that he isn't angry, he looks much better…_

"Who_ are_ you?" he boy demanded immediately. Hermione cocked an eyebrow and shrugged his hand off her shoulder.

"No one important," she said stoutly, and brushed past him. However, the boy kept up with her brisk pace and walked alongside her.

"I've never seen you before," he said, curiously looking her over.

"I blend easily," Hermione supplied shortly, upping her pace a bit.

"Really? You're the type of girl that sticks out, if you ask me," he said with a smooth smile. Hermione's walk faltered and the boy grabbed at the opportunity. He stepped in front of her, and Hermione was suddenly nose to nose with the attractive boy; she gasped and jumped away.

"Sorry," he said with a charming smile; she eyed him warily.

"Why are you still talking to me? I _must've_ made it clear by now that you are not on my priority list," Hermione said flatly.

"Because you had the audacity to yell at me," he said with a shrug. "And you're quite pretty."

For some reason, this enraged Hermione. "So you thought I'd talk to you, then? Just because you tell me I'm pretty means absolute rubbish to me! Lies are the charmer's weapon, and I'm not yielding so you'll be divulged on—on whatever it is you want to know!" she hissed at him.

She stormed away from him this time, and for a few seconds she heard nothing before his footsteps, once again, strode beside her.

"I like you," he said easily. "You're brave."

"And you're an idiot," Hermione retorted. "Can't you take a hint?"

"Can't _you_ take a hint?" he countered with ease. "I'm being sincere."

"No, you're not," Hermione snapped. "Go away."

"People must not treat you nicely," the boy said quietly, and Hermione's heart seized up painfully. "In all honestly, if you cannot believe me when I tell you that you're pretty, than boys just must be awful to you."

Hermione forced herself to walk faster, her throat closing up as he continued talking.

"To me, it really makes no sense. Why would someone as pretty as you be tortured in school, or otherwise?" he asked her, his curious tone almost gently taunting her.

"Beauty means _nothing_," Hermione hissed, whipping around to face him. "Because cruelty would be nothing without beauty, don't you know? They walk hand in hand and scar everyone just as evenly as the other."

"Believe me," the boy urged, taking a step closer to her. Hermione sneered at him.

"Why? Even if you're telling the truth, there's little to no chance that you want nothing more from me than to have my skirt around my ankles—which you will deny," Hermione pointed out bluntly as he opened his mouth to protest. "There's nothing you can say that will convince me otherwise."

"Tell me your name and I'll go away," the boy said quietly. Hermione struggled with his request, debating whether she wanted to disobey Dumbledore or have this conniving boy on her tail, before she had an idea.

She looked at him. "Jane Lewis. I'm a Gryffindor, and I'm capricious. I'm new, and I'll be gone as soon as you start looking for me again, because I have a habit of switches schools. Is that enough information to satisfy you?"

"Pity," the boy said, ignoring her last comment. "You would've made an excellent addition to Slytherin."

"I'm Muggle-born," Hermione informed him at once. The boy quirked an eye-brow.

"Still," he sighed. "I'm sure, with the right people guiding you, you would've fit in with my friends just fine."

"And if you had a shred of selflessness, you would've made an excellent Gryffindor," Hermione said, imitating his sigh. The boy smiled at her.

"Well, Jane Lewis, it is sad that I'll never see you again. But please, I am being honest and I do at least value this one meeting we had," he said sincerely. Hermione gave him an almost exasperated look. "Now, I must be off to Transfiguration—"

"With Dumbledore?" Hermione interrupted immediately. The boy nodded, and Hermione smiled, truly, for the first time. "I'll come with you, then."

Together they walked to the Transfiguration room, silence between them. Every now and then, the Slytherin boy would turn a bit and look at her, and after she matched his stare unwaveringly, he would smile almost secretly before leading again.

They passed the threshold, and while the boy took his seat, Hermione nervously walked up to the professor. He had auburn hair, and looked younger than she could ever imagine him to be. He smiled good-naturedly at her, blue eyes still twinkling, and took the note outstretched in Hermione's hand.

She moved off to the side, knowing very well that the entire class was looking at her. Without thinking first, Hermione's eyes sought out the charming boy that had accompanied her back. She found him, almost immediately; he was sitting next to another Slytherin, a boy with long, pale blonde hair. The two boys were whispering to each other, before the dark haired one looked up at her, smiling.

Hermione couldn't help herself; she smiled back, almost involuntarily, and something inside her chest did a somersault.

Her eyes drifted a bit, and she gazed at his blonde friend. It happened as if she had stepped out onto a rotary; despite the fact that she had seen all the traffic, all the warning signs and bright lights, she had still been hit head on by a bus. _It was __a__ Malfoy._

Another wave of a horrifying epiphany crashed into her; the Malfoys were all Slytherin, had gained their power by supporting Voldemort by the start. If _this_ was a Malfoy, it had to be Abraxas Malfoy, which only meant...

_The dark-haired boy was Tom Riddle._

The color drained from her face before Hermione could turn around; she did so at once, knowing that Riddle had seen her blanch, knowing that he would be curious, knowing that he would _never_ forget the name Jane Lewis.

And Hermione knew, at that very moment, that she had brought this upon herself without knowing.

Snapped out of her alarming thoughts, Dumbledore's chuckle caught her attention as he poured over his own hand-written note. Hermione swallowed the dread that had already overwhelmed her, and stared at the soon-to-be Headmaster.

"Well, this is just extraordinary," the auburn-haired Dumbledore chortled. "Please, Miss Lewis, my office is there and I would like you to make yourself comfortable. The class ends shortly, but until then.."

"I appreciate it, sir," Hermione said shakily. Avoiding eye contact with anyone, she crossed the room again and entered Dumbledore's office, aware that each student was watching her, curious, but no one more so than Tom Riddle.

She closed the door and collapsed onto the nearest chair. _How could I have done this?_ she thought in agony. _Dumbledore explicitly told me not to talk to anyone, let alone give out my name! I've brought this upon myself!_

She sat wallowing in the chaotic, desperate thoughts that swirled in her mind, only looking up when the sound of moving, chattering students broke through her reverie and Dumbledore entered the room.

He smiled at her and gave the little note a shake. "This is quite interesting, Miss Granger. I'm very surprised with this note."

"Why, sir? Is it just, well, its unanticipated arrival that surprises you?" Hermione asked.

"Precisely," Dumbledore chuckled. "I understand its contents completely, though. And I'm told that a certain Hermione Granger is neck deep in trouble, though." He gave her a look, raising an eyebrow.

"It's not mischief," Hermione hastened to say. "I'm having problems with certain people."

Dumbledore nodded knowingly, glancing again down at his note, with his curly, looped cursive that Hermione imagined to be defined and elegant. "Slytherins, generally," Dumbledore informed her, and Hermione confirmed with a curt nod.

"Well, Miss Granger, I surmise that your time here is over. You've done your duty, and I'm sure you'd like to get home to 1979."

"That's only my temporary home, actually," Hermione corrected him. "I'm from 1997."

"Oh? Hmm, I wonder why I didn't state that in the letter…"

"Irrelevant, probably," Hermione guessed. "Well no, that's not irrelevant at all."

"I just must've forgotten," Dumbledore said, and Hermione found this slightly suspicious, but did nothing. Dumbledore was a brilliant wizard, a genius among his kind, but he was by no means perfect.

"I suppose I'll leave then," Hermione said, wringing her hands. "I've got a lot to do."

"I'll see you soon," Dumbledore said with an amused smile, and she actually laughed.

She pulled out the time-turner from her shirt, and slowly began rotating the time-wheel. Like before, the colors and images were caught in a revolving mixer and Hermione was caught in the midst of it.

However, neither Hermione nor Dumbledore were aware of two Slytherins crouching outside his office, intent on catching every word they said and very prepared with an excuse should Dumbledore suddenly open his office door.

She closed her eyes shut, and after the spinning came to a halt, Hermione shoved the nausea away. Echoes of student voices surrounded her, and Hermione opened her eyes to find herself in the middle of the charms room. Luckily, no one was in the room, not even Flitwick. Hermione released a sigh of relief, and after tucking in the time-turner out of sight, exited the room.

"No, no that's not what happened at all you prat," Lily's angry voice snapped. Hermione spun on her heel to find herself face-to-face with the Marauders, and Lily. James had his arm slung over her shoulder, but the couple was fighting.

"Oh, _really_? Then tell me, _dearest_—"

"Hermi—Jane?" The group stopped as Remus blurted out the name. The Marauders all stared at her. "Weren't you just in Dumbledore's office?" Remus asked.

"I was, but I… I can't explain. I have to go." Hermione pushed past them all hastily, ignoring the protesting inquiries and hurried.

Remus caught up with her. "You've got to explain this to me," Remus said to her, keeping up with her pace. Hermione was reminded of Tom Riddle, pursuing her incessantly in the hallway even as she strove to walk faster.

"I will," Hermione promised, pushing the new memory out of her mind. "But I can't now. I have to get back to Dumbledore."

"How did you just _appear_ in the Charms room?" Remus asked, and Hermione made an ambiguous gesture but said nothing. "Jane—"

"Come with me, Remus," Hermione said suddenly. "Come with me to Dumbledore's office, but wait outside. When I come out, we'll spend the day together, all right?"

Remus was silent, but after a moment agreed. "You'll tell me?"

"Yes," she muttered. "Right now, I've got somewhere to be though. Just… wait, okay?"

They walked as swiftly as possible to the Headmaster's office. Hermione left Remus at the base of the stairs and ascended as quickly as possible. As she opened the door, she glimpsed herself dissolving into the air, and Dumbledore looking relatively pleased.

"I've done it, sir," Hermione informed him, closing the door. "May I ask though, why did you move the Transfiguration room?"

"A certain tragedy happened within the school, and Headmaster Dippet thought it would be wise if we changed the location of each room, hoping to avoid any further devastation," Dumbledore said quietly.

"The Chamber of Secrets," Hermione said suddenly. "Of course, you wanted to confuse the Basilisk?"

"I can only guess you've researched it well."

"Well, in second year, I—" Hermione stopped suddenly. Dumbledore didn't know what would happen in her second year, and if she told him now that would be rearranging the future. "—I read _Hogwarts, A History_ and decided to research further on the subject."

_Smart recovery_, she awarded herself.

"Interesting. Did you find anything worth remembering?" Dumbledore was testing her, Hermione decided suddenly.

"Too much. I kept a mirror on me at all times—I wasn't risking anything," she said with a faint smile.

"Clever," Dumbledore complimented. He switched subjects abruptly, almost as if the thought popped into his mind and he voiced it aloud before it left. "Did you tell anyone your name, Miss Granger?"

"Yes," Hermione whispered, ashamed. "Professor, you've got to understand though. I was looking for your room, and this insolent boy just kept following me and annoying me. Finally, he asked for my name in exchanged for peace. I told him I was Jane Lewis, sir."

"Ah yes, I remember… you entered the room with Tom Riddle, did you not?"

She nodded. "I hadn't realized. But that only explains how he knows Jane Lewis, and not me, sir."

"Well it's quite a simple inference; if Tom Riddle knew your name was Jane Lewis, and he appeared very curious as to whom you were, Tom would go to any lengths to investigate. He was a very officious boy—charming, but nosy," Dumbledore sighed.

"Now, may I have the time-turner back?" Hermione nodded and drew the chain from her shirt, gathered it from around her neck and gave it to him. "Thank you. And since your task is complete, you may leave."

"Thank you, sir," Hermione said. She stood, smiled, and left, wanting nothing more than to relax for a very, _very_ long time.

_-x-x-x-_

A few days later in Charms, a Hufflepuff interrupted the Gryffindor-Slytherin class. Professor Flitwick was heatedly explaining the effects of Reverse Charm combined with an Engorgement Charm, and stopped abruptly.

"What?" he snapped at the student. The tiny professor normally was very amiable, but he was very enthusiastic about the combination he was detailing and wasn't pleased with the interruption.

"Professor Dumbledore sent me, sir," the student said. He handed Flitwick a note, and the teacher read over it.

Hermione grabbed Remus' hand and squeezed it nervously. They exchanged a look, and they both knew that Dumbledore was calling the guilty, incriminated Slytherins to his office. Anxiety flooded Hermione, and she wanted nothing more than to bury her head in Remus' shoulder and wish that everything was just _over_.

"They can't do anything to you," Remus comforted in a whisper. "No one in here can touch you."

"I'm still worried, Remus," Hermione admitted reluctantly. "Even if Malfoy isn't here, they can still—"

"I'll protect you," Remus said at once, and she gazed up into his eyes. He was just as uneasy as she was, but more than willing to sacrifice himself to anything that discomforted her.

Love swelled up like a balloon in her chest, and she couldn't stop herself from kissing him. Their lips met, and despite the fact that it did not last very long, Hermione felt more passion than she would have if they had been snogging for hours.

"Get a room," Sirius teased. Remus shot him a look, but grinned.

"Will the following people please go to the Headmaster's office," Flitwick started slowly. One by one, Slytherins stood and left as they were called, glaring at Hermione darkly as they went. There was only one good thing about the glares: Malfoy's was not among them.

Dumbledore had taken the liberty to change all of Malfoy's classes and his entire schedule to fit around Hermione's; now, she never saw him, not even in the hallways, and rarely at meals. She couldn't have been more grateful towards the Headmaster.

"We'll have to be extra careful these next few days," Hermione murmured to Remus, picking up her quill again. Flitwick had continued talking, and she and Remus took notes diligently, but were still apprehensive.

"We'll just stay in the common room, then," Remus said. "And I'll follow you like a puppy."

"You're funny," Hermione said sarcastically, but she gave him an affectionate look.

After the day was over, and the Marauders had all settled into their nightly routine (cramming in last minute homework and then procrastinating like they were paid for it), Hermione and Remus decided to go the library, but Hermione wanted to look over the Marauders Map first.

"Who are you looking for?" Remus kept asking curiously, but Hermione smiled secretively as she looked for Damocles Belby. She spread the Map out on Remus' bed, unfolding corners and looking for the creator of the Wolfsbane Potion.

"No one. Just looking," she teased, pushing the Map just out of his reach as Remus tried to grab at it. He knocked her shoulder playfully, and she giggled. Arms snaked around her, Remus buried his face in her neck and held on to her tightly.

"Tell me," he whispered as he kissed her neck, sending shivers down her spine.

"Never," she countered hoarsely; she twisted around, and soon they were kissing each other, the Map left forgotten.

Lately, Hermione had been so occupied by the trouble haunting her that both she and Remus put their relationship aside. It was if every moment they could've been together, enjoying themselves, something happened that put Hermione in danger, or her friends in danger, and it took enormous effort to fix it.

Things now, however, were slowing down. The past week, although she had faced Slytherins, Tom Riddle, and countless people and situations, was overfilling with studies. The seventh years had NEWT's, and they were just around the corner. Danger was replaced by studying, attacks by exams.

Her heart twinged as Remus wound his fingers slowly through her hair, kissing her fiercely. She shifted, lifting herself onto him so that they could be closer, touching, making up for the intimacy that hadn't happened, but should've. Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck, tilting her body to fit his.

It pained Hermione to think about times before, when she and Remus had been _so_ _close_ to being with each other, but people had kept them apart. She didn't like admitting to herself that she was being a fool before; the attraction between she and Remus was undeniable, and her fear of—of what, really?—of rejection, of peer pressure, of _others_, had kept them apart.

She cherished this now, this connection to him, this perfect relationship, more than ever thought she would. Remus went out of his way for her, accepted things, didn't fight with her. Remus had secrets too, secrets that were just as dangerous as hers, secrets that hurt just as much as hers did.

That was why they were perfect for each other; they understood, they didn't have to explain, they just _were_. Lily and James shared the same type of relationship with each other, and for a while, neither Remus or Hermione understood how they completed each other so perfectly. Now though, they did.

The couple split apart for a moment, and the friction that was heating up, the fire that quenched _more_ from them brought them back together in a moment; she kissed his neck, planting kisses along his jaw, tracing his veins with her lips, circles in his skin with her tongue.

"Someone's going to walk in," Remus croaked, a hoarse moan slipping from him as Hermione gently bit his neck.

"I don't care. Keep going," she urged.

Cold hands slid up her waist, bunching her clothes up; she gasped at the temperature of his hands, and she felt the chuckle deep in his throat. Her hands were frantically peeling away his cloak, doing away with his buttons, digging until she found his bare flesh. Her own clothes were pulled off, each new inch of revealed skin kissed with thanks, slowly anointing her shoulder and throat with his lips.

He undid her buttons at a painfully slow speed, and Hermione pushed his hands away and almost ripped the garment off her torso. She had never felt this kind of fire, this sort of heat that was burning up like a fever, a sickness that she never wanted to get rid of.

Her white school shirt was pulled off, slowly, the gleaming ball of her shoulder inviting his mouth. Remus slid his hands up her waist, looking into her eyes. "Are we… Are we going to…"

He didn't need to say it; Hermione nodded slowly, biting her lip and breathing slowly. She wasn't going to hesitate, or put this off. There was something deep inside of her that yearned for Remus completely, a force so strong she didn't know how she could've overlooked it, avoided it, not _known_ about it.

She leaned and kissed him, lightly at first, shifting to a more comfortable position, and as they slowly intertwined they fell back on the bed. His hands were hesitant, slow, touching the clasp of her bra but not doing anything to it.

Kissing him encouragingly, she arched her back just a little into his hands, but he did nothing.

"It's alright, go ahead," she murmured into his lips, eyes closed.

"I-I just.. erm…" She pulled back from his lips, nose to nose with him, and gazed into his gingery eyes. He was just uncertain, she knew, but she smiled. Hermione lifted herself to sit up, straddling him, looking fondly down. Remus, bare-chested and sweating, stared up at her as he panted.

Hermione leaned and her arms shifted; her fingers played with the clasp, slowly, and began to unhook it—

"Alright, so maybe you were right, but I did _not_ shake on that bet—_WOAH_!" Just as soon as James and Sirius opened the door, they slammed it shut as fast as Hermione threw herself off the bed to hide.

"Why does this keep happening to us?" Hermione muttered into the floor.

Remus let out a choked noise. "I need a very cold shower."

"_Are you two decent yet?_" Remus and Hermione quickly pulled their clothes back on, and yelled their permission for the two boys to enter.

James and Sirius opened the door hesitantly, peeking in before opening the door. Remus glared, and Hermione tried not to look too mortified.

"Usually you lock the door," Sirius said after a moment of uncomfortable silence. No one spoke for a few minutes, as they chose to stare at each other awkwardly until Hermione cleared her throat.

"I think we should just go to the library," Hermione said quietly to Remus. The werewolf agreed quickly, and together they grabbed their things, the Marauders Map, and pushed past the silent boys.

The door slammed in their wake, and Sirius couldn't help but comment. "Well I certainly never realized how fine Jane was."

James gave him a look. "What about that time you saw her through my mirror in the Shrieking Shack?"

"Yeah, but she was _far_ _away_ then," Sirius pointed out. James rolled his eyes.

_-x-x-x-_

Remus selected a table farthest away from Madam Pince's desk so that she would not be breathing down their necks. Remus pulled out a pile of books and began writing down notes, picking important facts and dates, memorizing them one by one for the NEWT's.

Hermione, on the other hand, was observing the Marauders Map, still looking for Damocles Belby. Dumbledore had told her that she was exempt from NEWT's; this disappointed Hermione, for she always enjoyed the satisfied feeling after she completed the test. However, Dumbledore said it was for reasons pertaining to the test; in the future, she might take the exact exam again.

Her finger grazed over the Map, sweeping over names and trying desperately to find this Damocles boy, hoping he was in the library. And at last, she found him, and he was only a few shelves away.

"I'll be right back," Hermione told Remus. He smiled, nodding, and went back to his work while Hermione sought out the soon-to-be creator of the Wolfsbane Potion.

Damocles Belby looked like the sort of student that others picked on; pudgy, intelligent, arrogant, spotty and awkward. There was sympathy for him, because Hermione knew exactly how hard life was when students disliked someone. Cautiously, she approached him.

Damocles looked up from his work, tiny little notes crammed onto his parchment, certain parts underlined and brightened magically to stand out. Hermione smiled politely.

"Hi," she said. "Can I sit here?" Without waiting for his answer, she did, and the sandy-haired Ravenclaw stared suspiciously at him. "I'm Jane Lewis."

"I know who you are," he sneered rudely, and Hermione quirked an eyebrow, mildly affronted. "What do you want? Can't you see I'm _busy_?"

She ignored his comment. "Honestly, I've come to make a deal with you."

"I heard you sleep around a lot," he hissed, probably hoping to scare her off. Hermione narrowed her eyes.

"I know about the Wolfsbane Potion, Belby."

Damocles Belby's annoyed face, twisted up unpleasantly, blanched within moments and he gaped at her.

"Oh, and I don't sleep around. I got into a fight with a Slytherin, so she posted nasty things about me, understood?" Belby said nothing, and Hermione got straight down to business. "Now look, Damocles; I know you're having a hard time with the potion, so I've come to help you. I know how you can complete it, but in exchange for this I want something in return."

"_How did you find out_?" he whispered, shocked.

"Doesn't matter," Hermione said quickly, looking over her shoulder. "You need help and I have it. Do you want the ingredient list or not?"

"What's the catch?" Belby asked immediately, over the shock and crossing his arms over his chest like an entrepreneur.

"I know someone that's a werewolf, and I want to give them a week's worth of Potion for their birthday," Hermione said.

"No!" Damocles blurted. "Do you think I'm _that_ stupid?"

"I'll sign a magical contract, stating that I won't say who made it, where it came from, what it is, what's in it, but only that it puts my werewolf friend into a harmless wolf state," Hermione vowed. In fact, to prove it to him, she reached into her bag and dug out a premade contract; she handed it to the wary Ravenclaw.

Belby poured over the parchment, using his wand in several places and muttering spells to test it. A few times, the parchment glowed a faint yellow, but proceeded to do nothing else.

Hermione examined her nails. "All I want is to make my friend feel better," she said flatly. "And all _you_ want is fame and success, right? People to get off your back, and instead, worship you, claim you a genius. Believe me, I know. And I can _help_ you, Damocles."

"Why should I trust _you_? Didn't you date Lucius _Malfoy_?" Hermione cringed, pushing aside the memory.

"It's a long story, really, but I only did it to get back at someone I fancied. It turned into a horrible mess, and now Malfoy and I don't go near each other," Hermione said with a sigh. _Which is true, because I'd never let him near me_.

Damocles looked at Hermione for a long, hard moment, and she stared back. He scrutinized the paper, then Hermione again, and finally the parchment again. The Ravenclaw sighed, dipped his quill in ink and signed on the mark at the bottom.

"Sign it," Damocles said firmly. Hermione glanced over her shoulder, and borrowing the quill from Belby, signed it quickly. He snatched the paper back from her, and it suddenly gleamed blue; the confirmation color.

Hermione breathed a sigh of relief, happy that she had managed to find Remus an adequate birthday present, belated as it was. Pulling out a piece of parchment, Hermione began writing. "Now, here are the ingredients and what you need to do…"

**_-  
_****_-x-x-x-  
_****_-_**

**Author's Note:** So interesting chapter huh? I've had the Belby & Wolfsbane Potion idea for a really long time, but I got caught up in homework, school, and a lot of stuff. I hope you guys like this chapter, especially with the Tom Riddle scene, haha! and the almost-sex scene That was fun to write, lol.

So, **please review!**


	19. Sweet Retribution

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, simply this plot, Emma Danes, Rose Sanders and random little people that happen to have no name, just cuz I'm really lazy lol.

So, content with the last chapter? I was! I know you guys will really like this one though…

**Still So Close to You  
****By Darkwing731  
****-  
**((--Chapter Twenty--))  
Sweet Retribution

-

_"Sign it," Damocles said firmly. Hermione glanced over her shoulder, and borrowing the quill from Belby, signed it quickly. He snatched the paper back from her, and it suddenly gleamed blue; the confirmation color._

_Hermione breathed a sigh of relief, happy that she had managed to find Remus an adequate birthday present, belated as it was. Pulling out a piece of parchment, Hermione began writing. "Now, here are the ingredients and what you need to do…"_

_-_

The Marauders had caught up with Remus and Hermione eventually, mentioning nothing of the intrusion on the couple, although Sirius and James were frequently smirking. Lily forced them to study, and Hermione helped them all peacefully, content that the year was wrapping up and that she had more free time than she was ever used to.

"Anyone need flashcards? Quick Notes?" Hermione offered, pulling parchment out of her bag.

"I need a drink," Sirius said under his breath.

"Ooh, good idea. After this is all over, shall we head to Hogsmeade?" James suggested.

"And get _pissed_? No!" Lily snapped. "I'm not nursing any hangover of yours."

"…Guys Night Only," James whispered to Sirius, and the two boys laughed. Lily clearly did not approve.

"Go ahead and get piss drunk, I'm not doing anything for you!" she said angrily to James. He shrunk in his seat as she started yelling. "In fact, I'll deprive you of magic, Advil and sleep, _and_ I'll take down the shades!"

"No, Lily no!" James whined. "What If I don't come back drunk? Can't I go and drink, then return fine?"

"You, retiring to bed _sober?_" Lily scoffed. Hermione exchanged a look with Remus.

"I think I might leave this scene," she said quietly as Lily and James' voice slowly rose higher than the recommended whisper. "Before Madam Pince comes around." Hermione could hear the irate footsteps of the Librarian coming ever closer, ready to enforce her rules.

The brunette pushed out of her chair before trouble arrived, passing Madam Pince in the Q section, and headed for the doors. She stepped into the hallway, giggling a bit to herself, and Remus appeared right behind her.

"She's a madwoman," Remus commented, smirking. Hermione laughed.

"If she didn't house the books, I wouldn't protest to everyone jeering her." The couple laughed, stepping closer to each other as they did. Remus laced his fingers with Hermione's, leaning his forehead against hers.

"I'm sorry I didn't lock the door," he murmured quietly.

"That's all right; we'll just have to finish what we started some other time," Hermione whispered. Eyes closed contently, they kissed silently in the hallway until someone interrupted them.

"Oh, what a display. Makes me a tad nauseous, though," remarked a snide voice. It belonged to Rose Sanders, and behind her stood several other Slytherin girls.

Remus gripped Hermione's hand tightly. "Your comments seem to lack any heart, Sanders. What, have your normal tricks turned you down?" Hermione sneered.

"Clever," Rose said sarcastically.

"I wouldn't be accusing Rose of tricks, Mudblood," another voice drawled. Hermione didn't even have to look; it was Narcissa Black. "After all, you're quite fond of them, aren't you?"

"At least my boyfriend won't make a living by being a murderer," Hermione hissed. "You think Malfoy will go on to do great things? Serving for Voldemort, he'll be on his knees for the rest of his life, Black. What's that suggest to you?" Remus laughed loudly.

Narcissa growled. "Lucius is purer than either of you could ever hope to be."

"You mean inbred," Remus corrected her, and Hermione smiled viciously at Narcissa.

"It's going to quite a shock, Mudblood, when none of us are expelled," Rose said quietly. "Squealing on us will just get you into more trouble."

"Malfoy can't touch me," Hermione hissed. "He's physically restricted from coming anywhere _close_ to me. I'm not scared of you."

"But you're scared of Lucius," Narcissa drawled, eyes gleaming.

"He'll become a murderer, Black; no one has to be clairvoyant to tell. That at least strikes fear—not respect," Remus growled. "Malfoy's the only one with any daring; we've already solved that problem, and we're certainly not afraid of a group of girls."

Rose smiled unpleasantly, and Remus' stomach twisted. "Infiltration is the easiest form of attack, Remus; I would think _you_ would know that, of all people. Lies are the charmer's weapons, and promises are seductive when it comes to men."

"_What do you want_?" Hermione bellowed, disturbed by Rose's haunting words. _Voldemort feeds them these phrases, doesn't he?_ "It's over! Leave us _alone_!"

"Mudblood, you must understand… we've only just started." The words sent chills down Hermione's spine.

"What's going on?"

The Library doors opened, revealing James and Lily, Sirius and Peter. The Slytherins turned to the new group. "Don't you cretins have somewhere to be, especially somewhere other than this school? Seeing as you're all about to be expelled," James hissed.

"Expelled?" Narcissa repeated, looking at Rose and laughing with her. "We might face a detention, at the very least."

"Assault on another student, kidnap, conspiracy," Lily spat. "It's all Azkaban worthy, if you ask me, Black."

"No one cares what you think, Mudblood," Narcissa said smoothly, ignoring Lily and Hermione's snarling. "Besides, all evidence to support your claim is weak and without full support."

"Your little _group_ will be the only thing without full support," James said.

"Between the six of us, your futures are ruined," Remus said in a low, dark voice. "You're not powerful any longer."

Rose grinned, a maniacal, bestial look creeping into her eyes. "The only restrictions we have are the _castle walls_."

"Dumbledore will protect us!" Peter shouted abruptly. Rose turned sharply to Peter, her malicious smile widening.

"The old fool waves his wand around and spouts nonsense. Haven't you figured it out?" she asked in mock-curiosity. Peter shivered and glared at her.

"Dumbledore can defeat You-Know-You," Peter hissed. _Only if Harry's with him_, Hermione thought to herself.

"_Peter_," Rose cooed, drawing out his name and tasting it, a twisted smirk on her lips. "You're a fool."

"_Murderer_," he croaked; Peter recoiled at his own words, stepping behind his friends. The Slytherins started laughing, and close to tears, Peter turned and ran.

"Wait!" James took chase after him, Lily and Sirius in his wake, puzzled and worried. Remus and Hermione stood their ground, glaring.

Rose's smirk faded from her lips, taken by a haunting, malevolent look. She cautiously walked to them, Hermione bristling and clutching Remus protectively as she drew closer. Rose was only a half meter away, now. No one else would hear her words.

"We _will_ have revenge, _Granger._"

_-x-x-x-_

A strange assortment of students were seated in a small room, Head of Slytherin and Gryffindor present, along with the Headmaster and, surprisingly, the Minister of Magic. No one looked pleasant to see him; no one spoke and discussed the latest politics. In fact, the spiraling, screaming silence was grim.

The Headmaster slowly unrolled a long piece of parchment, and began to read. "The following students have been expelled for lack of sufficient evidence and alibis: _Pandora Ratum, Lorna Knox, Demeter Lymus, Liam Royle, Rodrick Shaffer, Theodore Scythe, Damian Slade, __Rigel Furiae, and Saiphio Knox_."

Slytherin's hung their heads, sighing shortly and wishing for only a brief, bitter moment that it had never happened, they had backed out—but they had chosen this for their Lord. They had to accept the bruises they gained for following him.

"The following student's will be suspended for a minimal amount of two weeks," Dumbledore ordered, his voice deep and disapproving. He recited names slowly, letting each student savor the sweet taste of relief, however shackled it was, and went onto the next. Names were voiced, names no one had ever questioned before, names that surely had nothing to do with it… but had.

The Marauders crouched outside the door, Hermione and Lily under the Invisibility Cloak, and the boys secured with Disillusionment Charms. They said nothing at the ironic role-call. Sirius, however, couldn't withhold his gasp when Dumbledore called "Regulus Black" among the suspended students.

"Hermione, I-I had no idea…" Sirius gasped, and they could all hear his breathing, erratic and heavy.

"Its fine, Sirius," Hermione assured him quietly. "I don't recall meeting him anyway."

"Quiet!" Lily said suddenly. They listened sharply as Dumbledore said: "And the following students have provided sufficient evidence, and solid alibis: _Rose Sanders, Emma Danes, Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape_…"

"_What's wrong with him_?" Remus snarled suddenly. "He _knows_ Malfoy did all those things!"

"Malfoy is powerful, Remus," James said tensely. "Slytherins would hail him King if they could actually _do_ that."

"But—"

"Most of the Illimni are suspended, many of his leading followers were too, _and_ expelled. He can't do much now," Hermione interrupted Remus quickly. "He's got nowhere to go."

"I'm worried for you still," Remus whispered, and Hermione heart swelled; a faint smile crossed her lips, but it did little to express the powerful feeling inside of her chest.

"We best listen to the rest of the names, just in case," Lily hushed them. "Dumbledore might tell the Suspended Ones what they've got to do. It will be ever so fun to taunt them tomorrow about it."

"Those who are expelled will follow their Head of House to their dormitory, gather their immediate belongings and wait in the main foyer with the Minister. The elves will bring the remaining belongings to the train. Those who are suspended will form a single line, and I will each give you the amount of time you will be suspended for." Dumbledore paused, and Hermione imagined him closing his eyes and speaking very reluctantly.

"The rest… are free to go."

"We better move," Peter said suddenly.

"We don't want another closet incident—OW," Sirius yelped as Lily hit him. The group rushed up the hallway and, removing the charms and cloaks, travelled slowly back to the Gryffindor dormitory.

Remus and Hermione laced their hands together, watching James and Lily come together like magnets. The Potter put an arm around her shoulders, pressing his forehead to hers.

"They go so well together," Hermione reflected quietly; Remus nodded in agreement.

"I wouldn't be surprised if James ended up proposing to her as soon as exams were over," Remus predicted, and Hermione laughed. "I can see the two of them creaking away in rocking chairs at a hundred and two."

_They'll only have the next, what, two years?_ Hermione thought forlornly to herself. She squeezed Remus' hand, and ducked under his arm as he brought it around her neck. She buried her head in his shoulder, grateful that Remus was _hers_ and no one else's.

"Tell me they live happily ever after," Remus whispered softly. Hermione shook her head.

"I can't tell," she replied. "I can't. After everything that I've rearranged…"

"I won't tell a soul," Remus promised. Hermione shifted and looked into his eyes.

"If I told you, you'd hate me," she said gravely. He looked shocked.

"They _don't_?" Hermione shook her head.

"I wouldn't say that. But I'm not saying anything, Remus. You know I can't."

"It's all right." Hermione heard the disappointed sigh, but it didn't seem as if Remus tried to hide it. The werewolf wanted happiness for everyone, his friends most important, and Hermione was well aware. But nothing could compel her to inform the devastation that would rupture in a few years time.

"It makes me worry, though," Remus said quietly. "I can't imagine doing anything without them, if they were to, you know…"

"You've got much more to worry about at the moment," Hermione said darkly, squeezing his hand, thinking about Peter. Something was not quite right about his situation, and if she could only find out more…

_I would know how loyal he really is to the Dark Lord._

_-x-x-x-_

Whatever plans Hermione had concocted to investigate Peter Pettigrew was stopped short as the Marauders all feverishly studied for their upcoming exams. As April died out with a last vain gust of wind and showers, every student in the castle was not without quills and parchment, studying becoming a seemingly permanent habit.

Exempt from the exams, which thoroughly frustrated the girl, Hermione could do nothing but slowly put her affairs in order. There were many things she wanted to accomplish before she was sent back to her own time: give Remus his present, investigate Peter, get Lucius Malfoy out of her hair once and for all, undermine the Illimni completely, and several smaller, less important things.

However imperative those things were, nothing stood above the desire to have a meaningful, actually _functional_ relationship with Remus without things getting in the way. It was times like these, when danger was gone, that she wished it could've happened, but the ominous pile of homework and the hovering shadow of NEWT's restricted the time they could spend together.

For once, Hermione felt a tiny bit mutinous towards the headmaster.

The constant hours in the library, however, put a damper on whatever resentment managed to gather. The library brought nothing but joy to her, and the fact that at least she and Remus could spend time together there (despite the fact that the time was spent on books and not on snogging) meant a great deal to her. Exams, at least, brought them together in one way.

May crept over the castle with warm weather and a generous warmth that was absent throughout most of spring. Time spent studying was usually spent outside, where at least students had the option to stare at the lake or their friends for a mental respite.

Leaving the library on a particularly warm Thursday afternoon, Hermione traveled from the library to the grounds, to meet the Marauders and Lily. With her nose in _Concocting Compatible Concoctions_, her feet led her blindly down the steps, around corners, through the corridors and flights of stairs without having her look up.

Turning quickly through the pages, she imbibed all she could about the Importance of Ingredients from chapter 7, wondering if Damocles Belby had read this book, knowing how useful it could be to him, she turned another corner but stopped short at the sound of a drawling voice.

"Well well… look who it is."

Rooted to the spot, heart threatening to burst out of her ribcage in fear, Hermione looked up from her book.

Lucius Malfoy was at the front of a handful of Slytherins, the few that had managed to escape expulsion. In such a small number, they looked much less threatening, but Hermione knew that at a drop of a hat, the remainder of the Illimni could turn up, and she could be in _real_ trouble.

Lucius and Hermione did nothing but stare at each other, stock-still and waiting for the other to make a move. Malfoy's cronies behind him were all watching her hungrily, wanting revenge on her more than anything else, but were waiting for Lucius' consent.

But if Lucius attacked Hermione, he would be expelled, and they all knew that.

Tensing, Hermione flexed her fingers and in a fluid move, drew her wand; seconds later, the group of Slytherins had done the same, all except for Lucius. He narrowed his eyes, never taking them off of her, forcing her to keep eye contact.

"Expulsion does little to stop me, Granger," Lucius said quietly, silver eyes gleaming, more menacing then she had seen before.

"Well you seem to be doing a lot without your followers, don't you?" Hermione spat. "Face it Malfoy, you've _lost_."

"It's only these castle walls that restrict me," he snarled. "And its no secret you'll be with that dirty boyfriend of yours when school ends. Where else would you go, Granger? You've been cornered, and you _know_ it."

"You underestimate Dumbledore, Malfoy," Hermione hissed.

"And you underestimate the Dark Lord, you filthy little Mudblood."

"You can't do anything at all anymore, can you Malfoy? That must anger you so much," Hermione taunted. "How does Daddy feel about that? His precious little boy can't even follow through with Voldemort's—"

"I am more capable _than anyone_!" Lucius roared, whipping out his own wand in a flash. He gripped it so tightly his knuckles were white. Hermione laughed at him.

"But you can't even stop one little Muggle-born," Hermione reminded him, an almost vicious smile on her face. Her face fell into a dark, deadpan look. "Nothing you can do will enable you to touch me."

Lucius snarled in anger, and in the moments where Hermione knew he would attack her, not magically, but lunge at her, her mind retaliated in anger, and followed by the noise of a gunshot, Malfoy was thrown off his feet and into the air.

He skidded to a halt far behind his team of Slytherins, sprawled out on the floor. Taking advantage of the distraction, Hermione turned and ran down the adjacent corridor, glancing over her shoulder every few seconds, ready to take down those who pursued her.

When Hermione arrived, panting, the Marauders knew instantly that something was wrong.

"What? What is it?" demanded James. Hermione sat down next to Remus with a large gulp of air, chest still heaving.

"Nothing, just a spot of trouble with Malfoy," she said, but the effect was instantaneous; Remus roared in anger, and James and Sirius leapt to their feet, wands drawn, looking around for the Slytherin.

"Its fine," Hermione assured, placating Remus. "I wasn't hurt, no one came near me, we just had a little row and then I left." _Simplified to the smallest truth_, Hermione admitted to herself.

"What did Malfoy say to you?" Sirius inquired. Hermione chewed her lip for a moment, looking around.

"Where's Lily?" she asked.

"Head duties, but don't change the subject," James said hastily. "Well?"

"But you're Head Boy, James!" Hermione cried reproachfully.

"Never mind it, it's a separate thing. I've already finished mine. _What did Malfoy say_?"

"He sort of, erm, threatened me… but he can't carry it out!" Hermione added hastily as they exchanged angry looks. "He just said as much as Sanders did, that the castle walls were his only restriction."

"You think its rubbish, what he's saying?" Remus asked sharply. Hermione opened her mouth to retort, but Remus cut in; "He's well informed, we all know that, and he's bloody right! As soon as you leave Hogwarts, Hermione, things are going to get very complicated."

"Because I have such a simple life at Hogwarts," Hermione said sarcastically. "I'm very well aware that Malfoy plans to attack after school is finished. And I've got it covered, alright? I'm going to talk to Dumbledore about it."

"About what?" James inquired. "Let us know, there's strength in numbers."

Hermione had an inexplicable rush of affection for the boys sitting around her. She smiled. "Have you ever heard of the Fidelius Charm?"

_-x-x-x-_

Damocles Belby worked easily under pressure, harder than he would if he was not given a deadline.

_Much more than damned Potter can say_, Belby thought angrily to himself. _Why_ Dumbledore had chosen Quidditch Hero, Evans-Infatuated, numskull _Potter_ to be Head Boy was simply beyond Damocles—he couldn't stand the arrogant Gryffindor, not one bit.

But the fact that Potter had beaten him, Damocles Belby, to the Ravenclaw's rightful spot was just _intolerable_.

Time that wasn't spent on the Wolfsbane Potion was spent pondering the possibilities of who Jane Lewis wanted to give the actual Potion to. Who was a werewolf? _Who could it be?_ However, he didn't spend much time stuck on the fruitless thinking.

His main concern was actually getting this _damned_ potion right; if Jane Lewis was in fact right, and not giving him the ingredients to a Potion she knew was going to fail, why would she just _hand_ it all to him? Did fame and fortune mean nothing to her?

_If she knows how to make this p__otion, I doubt she'll need to try very hard to be famous…_

Still, he worried. Was she setting him up for a prank? She did, after all, congregate with that annoying fool James Potter—of course, that could mean absolutely nothing. Friends did little to define a person. Damocles couldn't help but be a little wary, though. It wasn't like him to agree this easily, on something that meant so much to him.

The thought of fame and fortune, praise and to be, _finally_, accepted, drove Damocles on.

Eventually, he managed to get the ingredients, the time, and the patience to try and try again to make a successful Wolfsbane Potion. Damocles had followed every little instruction Jane Lewis had given him, straight down to the exact color of each stage, the tiniest amount of liquid, to every last piece of dirt on one of the roots. All that needed to be done now was to let the potion mature.

Jane Lewis was sitting amongst her Gryffindor friends—Lupin, Potter, Black, Pettigrew, and Evans—outside on a boiling Sunday beneath one of the shadier trees. Books were piled around the group, but they really seemed to be neglecting the books.

Damocles approached the Gryffindors nervously, remembering quite involuntarily the number of pranks Potter and Black had pulled on him. As he drew closer, they grew quiet.

"Hello Damocles," Jane greeted sincerely.

"Hi; can I talk to you?" Damocles asked, and the brunette nodded. "Alone."

"Sure." Damocles moved far enough away from the suspicious boys, and talked in a low voice to Jane.

"I think it's done, Lewis. I'm not very sure though," he added apprehensively. "I've followed all the directions, it's the right color, and—"

"You've let it mature?" Damocles nodded, and Jane did the same. "Excellent. I'll need to see it before I take some to my friend though—can you meet me on the first floor, in classroom eleven after dinner tonight?"

"Yeah, I can arrange that. I might be a tad late, though—the cauldron's a bit hard to conceal, if you know what I mean."

"Disillusionment Charm," Jane supplied offhandedly. "Better yet, Invisibility Charm."

"Easy enough," Damocles agreed. "Alright, classroom eleven after dinner tonight. I'll see you."

"Bye." Jane and Damocles parted, the Ravenclaw going back to the castle to attend back to his studies, and Jane back to her group of friends. Now that Jane would inspect the potion, Damocles could stop bloody worrying.

Jane's mates waited only seconds before interrogating her about the short meeting with Belby, and Damocles smiled. He sincerely hoped all the vicious rumors about her weren't true, because this Jane Lewis girl seemed genuinely nice.

_-x-x-x-_

"Why were you talking to that swot?" Sirius asked curiously, and Hermione glared at him.

"None of your business," Hermione sniffed.

"Can it be my business?" James asked. Hermione smiled.

"Ask no questions, and I'll tell no lies," Hermione chanted, grinning as she recalled the Weasley twins saying that. Thinking of them, of the actual Weasley family, caused her chest to seize up painfully for a moment.

"I think it's Mooney's right to know, at least. What if you're having an affair with that Ravenclaw?" Sirius pointed out, smirking.

Hermione turned to Remus, and put her hand to her forehead in mock-despair. "Oh Remus, I am having an affair!"

"I knew it all along," Remus cried, feigning hurt. The couple looked at each other and grinned. Settling back down beside Remus, Hermione picked up a book.

"At least tell me," Remus breathed in Hermione's ear. She twisted around and smiled at him.

"Nope, never. It's a surprise, my dear," Hermione murmured, tapping his nose. He laughed and planted a swift kiss on her cheek.

Taking the hint that the subject was closed, the Marauders fell back into their previous discussion: the Marauder's Map.

"Well it could just be another flaw in the system," James suggested, shrugging. Without his girlfriend, it appeared that he was incapable of studying. "Like the names, for instance."

"That's just because you were too lazy to learn everyone's names, Prongs," Remus shot back.

"You're telling me you know who this blinking girl is then?" James retorted. When Remus failed to respond, James smugly said, "I thought so."

"Not all of the secret passages show up," Sirius said, lying on his back and prodding his shoes with his wand. "We've got to add them every time we find one."

"But those don't blink!" James stressed. "_Why_ does it _blink_?"

"Laws of Magic," Hermione suggested, only mildly aware (and interested) in what they were talking about. "The person could be tampering with the school's magic, or the ancient fields the Founders wove into the castle walls."

"Wouldn't surprise me," Sirius said darkly. "Only a Slytherin would do that."

"Think Hermione's right?" Remus asked his friends. They shrugged. "Wormtail?"

"Mmmergdhfed," the mousy Gryffindor grunted. He was propped up against a tree, but clearly his mates had just woken him up.

"Shall we leave him?" Sirius whispered.

"He's been sleeping horribly, so let's. But Hermione, what can tamper with the ancient magic in the school walls?" James asked.

"Dark Magic," Remus said.

"Time Travel," Hermione added, and they all grinned at her. "Possibly transformation: Animagi, Potions, Metamorphosing, Identity change, things like that, I would assume."

"So if Dumbledore had a Map likes ours—"

"He would know that your three," Hermione looked pointedly at James, Sirius and Peter, "were illegal Animagus."

"Alright. If there aren't anymore possibilities, we should try and track down this Blinking Girl and find out what she's up to, because it's really annoying that she blinks so often," Remus advised.

"We can't just walk up to a Slytherin and go, 'excuse me, are you changing your identity?'" Sirius said scathingly. "We've got to _watch_."

"You mean stalk." The coldness of Hermione's voice startled Sirius.

"W-what?"

"You'd be stalking this poor girl—I don't _care _if she's Slytherin, Sirius! _Stalking_ is illegal," Hermione warned. "Who is it anyway?"

"Some Slytherin girl," James muttered. "I've no idea what year she's in, and I don't recall Darien Parkinson having any living relatives. He's the youngest, I thought."

Hermione blinked, once, twice, and then again, her mind going strangely blank, but her pulse racing. "What did you say?"

"I didn't recall Darien Parkinson having any living relatives… this blinking dot's name is Pansy Parkinson, and I can't figure out for the life of me—"

Hermione's shriek stopped the words at once. Disconcerted, the Potter demanded to know what was wrong. Trembling hands were pressed up against Hermione's mouth, and she wouldn't speak; the only thing that seemed to reveal what was wrong were her eyes, round and terrified.

"Let me infer," Remus offered, having a gut feeling he knew that Hermione's reaction was about. "This has happened several times, has it not? Hermione gasps and then doesn't say anything?" James and Sirius nodded.

"When I mentioned Narcissa Black," James informed him.

"Lily told me once that she mentioned Damocles Belby, and Hermione did the same thing," Sirius piped up.

"This means only one thing, then," Remus decided. "Hermione knows this girl."

"You mean, from the future?" Sirius asked quietly. Hermione had lowered her hands to her lap, but her bottom lip was still trembling.

"Her being here explains so much," Hermione whispered. "I need the Marauder's Map, or I need to see where Parkinson is. Right _now_!" Hermione urged when no one moved for the Map.

James opened it, and he, Sirius, and Remus poured over the Map until they found her. "Right here, in the Slytherin dormitories. She's not blinking now."

"How long has she been blinking?" Hermione asked quickly, her mind racing. Depending on how long Pansy Parkinson had been at Hogwarts in the Marauders year with Hermione, every foreboding, painful thing that happened would've been instigated by her.

_That cow made my life hell_, Hermione thought viciously to herself. _I'll get her for this, if it's the last thing I do…_

"We don't really know. We just noticed it a few weeks ago, but since you showed up, way back in December, funny things have been happening with the Map," Sirius said uneasily. "The blinking is really the least of our problems, but it's been the most noticeable."

"What other problems?" Hermione asked.

"Sometimes large groups of people just, well, disappeared. Then they appear somewhere random," James said.

"Others have rings around them… some just look mutated," Sirius muttered. Hermione remained silent, because she could offer no explanation.

"Look, if we can just try and find Parkinson alone, I know what to do," Hermione said darkly. "We just need to be watching the Map all the time."

The Marauders all exchanged glances; "We can do that."

Behind them, Peter muttered loudly in his sleep, before shifting and falling on his shoulder. He clutched his book bag, buried his face in it, and resumed sleeping contentedly.

_-x-x-x-_

The only sound that alerted Damocles was the sharp snap as the door closed. Jane Lewis stood with a small cauldron and a goblet in her hands.

"Surprisingly no one gave me suspicious looks as they saw me carry these," Jane said, gesturing to the objects that accompanied her. She set them down on the nearest desk.

Jane approached the cauldron Damocles had set up; he fidgeted nervously, hoping to Merlin that he had gotten the Potion right. The Wolfsbane Potion seemed to gain her approval, after a long moment where she muttered to herself.

"Perfect," she announced, and smiled proudly at Damocles. "You've done it really well, actually. I think you would've produced the very same thing even if I hadn't stepped in."

"I wish you would tell me how you knew," Damocles admitted longingly, and Jane gave him an apologetic half-smile.

"I'd rather not. I'm just grateful you've agreed to this. I want you to get all the fame and glory for this potion, Damocles," Jane told him seriously.

"But you—"

"You must promise never to tell anyone that I've helped you, alright?" Hesitantly, Damocles nodded.

"How much do you need?" he asked after a long pause in which they both stared down at the Wolfsbane Potion.

"A weeks worth. The full moon starts tomorrow, so it should be fine for another day," Jane decided. Damocles brought over her cauldron and the goblet; she slowly started scooping potion into the goblet, and emptied it into her own cauldron.

"Now listen," Jane started, scooping more and more potion. "When I leave tonight, make sure to tell no one, but bring this to Professor Dumbledore. Tell him about your research, and ask him to set you up with Ministry officials, and Healers from Saint Mungo's, alright?"

"They'll test it to see if it really works," Damocles realized, and Jane nodded.

"You'll be rich before you leave school," Jane said quietly, and Damocles' heart suddenly inflated with joy.

"Your werewolf friend will realize it's me that's made the potion, then," Damocles said, but the Gryffindor shrugged.

"I'll tell my friend you and I know each other. He's not going to mind, as long as the potion works."

"Is he your boyfriend?" The question was so random that Jane's grip on the goblet slipped; the Wolfsbane Potion went spilling, and she dropped the cup on the floor.

"Sorry," she muttered, picking it up. "And no, he's not. Just a friend." Damocles stared at her, and Jane looked back defiantly. "Don't believe me?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Damocles asked, very quietly; Jane seemed to understand the intent of his question, and nodded.

"Remus Lupin," she informed him. When Damocles looked away, Jane went back to scooping potion from his cauldron to hers in silence.

Jane finished, and stood still for a moment, before speaking rather awkwardly. "So, erm… thanks, Damocles. This really means a lot to me."

"I won't tell anyone about you," he mumbled. "I don't understand why you don't want me to."

Jane laughed. "I can't explain. If I could, then there would be too many problems for me to handle. I'm sorry I can't," she added. "But at least you'll be happy."

Withdrawing her wand, Jane cast an Invisibility Charm on the cauldron, and using "_Wingardium Leviosa!_" Jane directed her cauldron towards the door, clutching her goblet. She turned the handle, stepped out, and with a last grateful smile at Damocles Belby, left him alone in classroom eleven with his soon-to-be award-winning potion.

He couldn't help but feel that he had just let fortune slip out of his hands by letting Jane Lewis leave.

_-x-x-x-_

"_Mmmergdhfed_!" Sirius exclaimed one morning through a mouthful of food, pointing down at the Marauder's Map. He tapped the parchment excitedly, beckoning the other Marauders and Lily.

Having sat at an emptier part of the Gryffindor table, the Marauders were free from prying eyes as they searched for Pansy Parkinson, the girl Hermione was so keen to find. James and Remus shoved Sirius' plate away from the Map, and looked for the dot.

The dot labeled Pansy Parkinson was sitting at the Slytherin table across from Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black.

"But that's Rose Sanders!" Lily argued, pointing across the hall; the four boys looked up, and they too saw that Rose Sanders was sitting across from Malfoy and Black, chatting amiably.

"And Jane Lewis is Hermione Granger," Remus said quietly. "Don't you understand?"

"_Jane_!" Lily shrieked as soon as the Gryffindor stepped into the great hall. "_We found it_!"

Hermione hurried over, sliding across the bench next to Remus and grabbing the Map. Her finger quickly found Pansy Parkinson, but when Hermione searched the Slytherin table, she frowned.

Abruptly, Hermione gasped. "Rose Sanders!" _That must mean…_

Flipping the Map and opening a different flap, Hermione's hands sought out the Slytherin house, wanting desperately to be right, to finally verify the sneaking suspicion… The Marauders and Lily looked on apprehensively, only reacting when Hermione yelled triumphantly.

"The Polyjuice Potion!" Hermione exclaimed. "Don't you get it? Pansy and Rose have been switching off the role of Rose Sanders! This makes so much sense!"

"But why would they do that?" Remus questioned, and despite Hermione's mouth opening automatically to reply, she could come up with nothing.

It took longer than expected for Hermione to procure a reasonable excuse for why Pansy was there. _Darien Parkinson is her father, isn't he?_ Obviously her father had something to do with it, but what about Rose? Rose Sanders played an even larger part than this faceless Darien Parkinson.

"Point out Darien Parkinson," Hermione murmured. The Marauders did so quickly, and Hermione studied him: dark, longish brown hair that fell around his ears, a short, buttoned nose, dark quick eyes and a smirk that Hermione had always seen on Pansy's lips.

_And Rose?_ Tied in a plait today, Rose's lighter brown hair curled slightly, by the looks of the end of her braid, and her nose was longer; face pointed, and irises a faint blue or green, but the epiphany arrived as she watched Rose throw back her head and laugh, a derisive shriek that Hermione _knew_.

_That must mean…_

"I know what she's doing," Hermione said finally, voice low and dark.

"Well what's that going to do for us?" Sirius wanted to know. Hermione smiled slowly, coming to understand that she could revel in this newly discovered fact.

Pushing herself up, Hermione walked around the Gryffindor table and marched boldly across the hall, gaining little attention except from the Slytherin table. Each student she passed quieted, and the Staff table seemed more alert.

Hermione stood near the only person she could feel remotely comfortable near: Snape. He gave her a disgusted look and pushed his classmates down, just so he could get away from her. Hermione stood in the little clearing and smiled viciously at Pansy.

"Rose Sanders!" Hermione yelled, and after a moment, the Slytherin girl turned and glared at her.

"You've made me lose my appetite, Mudblood," Rose sighed, pushing aware her food.

"If you ever thought that I was in trouble for being who I am," Hermione accused stoutly, "then think again, _Rose_. I know you're little secret, and all about you and your mum. How did she enjoy plucking hairs from her head every few hours?" Rose blanched, and she looked shocked.

"That's right. I'll see you at _school_." Hermione watched in satisfaction as Rose, or better yet, Pansy Parkinson, paler than a ghost, looked around for some sort of support, found none, and got up from the bench.

"_This is far from over_!" Pansy screamed, but despite her threat she turned and ran from the safety of the great hall.

Revenge was never sweeter.

**_-  
_****_-x-x-x-  
_****_-_**

**Author's Notes:** next chapter there will be a bit more on Pansy, so I hope your shock here just keeps your curiosity going! I really enjoyed writing this chapter, as its getting closer and closer to the end of the story, and less complicated, but more intense. Well it is for me, anyway, lol.

Oh, and also. This chapter is totally dedicated to my awesome friend Faithful Wheezy! MMMERGDHFED!

Thanks for reading, so **please review!**


	20. The Beginning of the End

**Author's Note:** hey so, really long hiatus, huh? I hate me too, don't worry. Please just enjoy this as much as you can =)

**Disclaimer:** do I own Harry Potter? Lord, it would be nice. But I don't. Waaah.

**Still So Close to You  
by darkwing731  
**-  
((-Chapter Twenty One-))  
The Beginning of the End

_"Rose Sanders!" Hermione yelled, and after a moment, the Slytherin girl turned and glared at her._

_"You've made me lose my appetite, Mudblood," Rose sighed, pushing aware her food._

_"If you ever thought that I was in trouble for being who I am," Hermione accused stoutly, "then think again, __Rose__. I know you're little secret, and all about you and your mum. How did she enjoy plucking hairs from her head every few hours?" Rose blanched, and she looked shocked._

_"That's right. I'll see you at __school__." Hermione watched in satisfaction as Rose, or better yet, Pansy Parkinson, paler than a ghost, looked around for some sort of support, found none, and got up from the bench._

_"__This is far from over__!" Pansy screamed, but despite her threat she turned and ran from the safety of the great hall._

_Revenge was never sweeter._

Pansy's swift footsteps echoed off the corridor walls, reminding her of her own hammering heart. There was no one in her path to question her sprint, or the terrified look on her face, or the way she heaved for breath.

"_Eternam_," Pansy panted as she finally came to rest in front of the Slytherin entryway. Everything that was comforting about the Slytherin common rooms—the slimy walls, and dank, musty air, and the sleek couches—were ignored as Pansy hastily scrambled towards the dormitories. She pushed past the regular doors, even those to her own bedroom.

At the top of the staircase was the stone wall, beckoning her to smash her own head due to foolishness rather than inviting her through. "_Basilicus_," she murmured; Lucius' private dormitories were revealed, and Pansy pushed her way through without a second thought.

"Why are you back so soon?" It was not Pansy who spoke this, but the facsimile of her—rather, the original, for Pansy was disguised. Pansy's throat released a growl as she stamped around, Rose Sanders watching her carefully from the bed.

"I don't know how, and I don't know when, but the Mudblood _knows_. She just ran up to me in the Great Hall! As if she had nothing to fear, nothing to lose!" Pansy stammered. "This puts everything in jeopardy!"

"Hush," Rose said quietly, but Pansy ignored her, pacing the room with bulging, fearful eyes.

"Now that she knows, she'll surely go to that crackpot fool Dumbledore, and—"

"Pansy, please—"

"That will spill over into my own time, and this damn mission will never be accomplished!"

"_Stop it_!" Rose interrupted her, finally standing up. Approaching Pansy with an easy coolness, she guided the girl to sit down on the bed and relax for a moment. "Now, this is easily taken care of."

"How?"

"You simply must stay in the dormitories at all costs. I can bring you food, and you will stay out of sight. They can do nothing against you if you are never seen."

"But what if—"

"There are no 'but ifs'. This will be handled easily, I promise." The identical girls looked at each other, one fearfully and anxiously, while the other collected a calm smirk upon her face. It was in that moment that the door handled turned, and the rightful owner of the private chambers stepped in.

"What, exactly, just happened?" Lucius asked in a silky voice, but both girls could see the fury in his eyes. "Do you understand the weight of the situation now? How can you just be sitting in here, like lame ducks, while surely that Mudblood has already begun her plan to take us down while we are weak?"

"If she can't see Pansy, there is no plan," Rose shot back, narrowing her eyes against his own fierce look. "I'm going to have it arranged so Pansy will never have to leave the privacy of the Slytherin—"

"Fool!" Lucius snarled. "Whatever means they used to discover this will be used against to find Pansy in here!"

"That leaves us with only one option, then," Rose said quietly. Lucius and Rose turned their eyes to Pansy, who was still trying to quell her own anxiety. She looked between the two Slytherins, shaking her head in denial.

"You can't send me back!"

"And risk everything that we have gained so far?" Lucius roared at her. "How _dare_ you be so selfish!"

"We cannot jeopardize this mission. The Dark Lord will be most displeased if anything _else_ goes wrong," Rose murmured, putting a hand regretfully on Pansy's, who ripped her hand away angrily.

"This will destroy my future with the Dark Lord," Pansy seethed. "Let me stay and somehow prove her wrong!"

"No," Lucius spat. "You'll be gone by midnight. We can't host this sort of danger. Granger has so many allies now, and we know they are not complete imbeciles. Whether or not the Mudblood has the nerve to reveal you, the rest of her little Gryffindor gang will do so in a heartbeat. _You must go_."

Pansy's shoulders hunched in defeat at this, although there was still a spiteful glint in her eyes. "I will get her back for this. I don't care when, but I will." Rose touched her shoulder, and in her eyes there was also a spiteful glint.

"I have a plan."

_-x-x-x-_

"She's probably crying."

"No, she's probably the new Moaning Myrtle!"

"Moaning Rose?"

"No, no. That doesn't flow. How about Retching Rose?"

"Wait. Isn't her name Pansy?"

"_Puking Pansy, that's it_!"

Lily and Hermione shared a sideways look at each other as James and Sirius excitedly discussed the state of being Pansy Parkinson could possibly be in.

"But why is she puking?"

"Because . . ."

"Because. . . .?"

"Because!" Sirius finished resolutely. "She doesn't need a reason. Just leave her alone!"

"Oh no, I want to know why she's puking," James argued devilishly, grinning.

"_She just is_!" Sirius stated heatedly, before letting off a feigned sigh of aggravation that sounded suspiciously feminine.

The group was back at the Gryffindor common rooms, although the clear blue skies beckoned them outside. The confrontation of Pansy had only happened hours ago, but the triumph Hermione felt made it seem like days. She and Lily were working on a study list for the upcoming exams (which was more out of habit for Hermione rather than necessity), but the mind of Hermione Granger kept drifting. Not pleasantly, but not unpleasantly either.

_What will Pansy do? There's no possible way she can stay in the castle, although it is impossible for her to leave without being noticed._

_Should I tell Dumbledore? The obvious answer is yes. But then, by adding more to my revenge, surely they'll have a way of getting back; their ranks were not completely destroyed by the expulsion, but harmed enough, I'm sure. What could they do to get back at me?_

"Knut for your thoughts?" Remus had finally arrived, smiling easily at Hermione as he sank into the couch next to her.

"Just thinking about the next plan of attack," she responded, touching his hair with a rush of affection.

"Why more attack?" This question was a serious one. "You've hit their weak spot, there's nothing left to do. They'll leave you alone for sure."

"I wish that was true, Remus," Hermione murmured. "But Pansy was never one to lie back and take a hit. Even if she doesn't do it herself, she'll get back at me."

"I think you're over thinking this," Remus said gently. Hermione shrugged.

"Isn't it better to be over prepared than to be completely oblivious?"

It was almost as if the Slytherins were listening and agreeing with Hermione's claim, for in the next instant an owl swooped into the room, dropping something onto her lap. Remus gaped at it, while Hermione cautiously picked it up. Lily leaned in from her work to eye it suspiciously as well.

"What is it?" James and Sirius had finally broken out of their boyish mode and appeared genuinely concerned. They all watched as Hermione slowly opened the parchment, reading over her shoulder. It simply read: _You may have protection, but you are not the weakest link anymore_.

"What does that mean—oh!" The parchment suddenly burst into flames, singeing Hermione's fingers and catching everyone by surprise.

"You are not the weakest link anymore'," Lily repeated. "If you aren't, then who is?"

Suddenly it all made sense. _This is what Dumbledore warned me about, this is what I've been waiting to happen for months now. Why didn't I think of protecting him before?_

Swallowing the trepidation rising within her, Hermione whispered, "Where's Peter?"

_-x-x-x-_

After scouring the Marauder's Map for fifteen minutes, they located Peter Pettigrew in the back of the library. Lily released a sigh of relief; "studying!" she assured them. However, it was James' finger that pointed to the others who were in the library.

"Emma," Sirius said grimly. "Wormtail is in trouble!"

"We don't know that for sure; I mean, Emma isn't even _near_ Peter. She's on the other side of the library," Lily reasoned.

"Lily's right," Remus agreed.

"We should still get him out of there, though. Just in case Emma decides to pull a fast one!" James said. The five of them started out towards the library, concocting stories that might lure Peter into staying with his rightful group.

Entering quietly and with caution, the five of them snuck behind the bookshelves and looked for Peter. It was Sirius who found him first, and who promptly latched himself onto the small boy.

"Petey! We've been looking all over for you!" Sirius said cheerfully. Peter looked uncomfortable at Sirius' words, and tried to hide behind the stacks of books and parchment he had around him.

"I'm busy right now, Sirius," Peter said quietly. Lily arrived next, pushing Sirius out of the chair with as much grace as she could, and a feigned smile plastered on her face.

"What are you studying, Peter? Maybe I could help you!" Lily suggested, but Peter seemed to shrink under Lily's gaze and simply said, "I've got it under control, thanks."

James was next; "Firewhiskey, Wormtail?" Peter shook his head while Lily smacked her boyfriend.

At last, Remus and Hermione showed up. Remus pulled a bar of chocolate out of his pocket and handed it to Peter, who looked grateful for something to eat. Almost as if there was no one around, Hermione sat down next to Peter and touched his arm.

"What you have been going through recently has been a terrible thing, Peter. I'm sorry that we disregarded your feelings while everything was in a hype, because your situation is more dire and tender than anyone else's. I want to help you," she said softly.

After a tense moment where Peter looked distrustfully into Hermione's gentle, welcoming eyes, he promptly burst into tears and threw himself into her open arms. Hermione held him, while James and Sirius argued in whispered voices that their plans would have been more effective if Peter had been in his right state of mind. Remus and Lily just exchanged a worried and exhausted look, and joined Hermione as she rubbed Peter's back in an effort to make him feel better.

In a few minutes, Peter calmed down; he wiped his face on his robes, looking red-faced and embarrassed that he had cried in front of all of them. They assured him it was alright, asking if they could do anything to make him feel better. Peter flushed under the simultaneous attention, feeling torn and rushed. Hermione touched his arm again and offered to take him to the kitchens to get something to eat, because he looked pale.

It was the only thing he heard out of all the noise between his friends; he nodded, and Hermione smiled. "I think this venture is best left between us," she suggested to the group. Peter shied away from their protests, but Hermione shook her head.

"That sounds like a lovely plan," Remus said, stepping in line next to Hermione. "Why don't you come back and get the cloak though, just in case there are Slytherins?" The girl looked to Peter, who nodded.

"Just in case," he agreed quietly.

When the cloak had finally been acquired, the group settled back into their normal activities; Lily was studying, James and Sirius were poking fun at each other, and Remus was reading. Before Hermione and Peter left, however, Remus kissed her swiftly on the cheek.

"I hope you don't mind, but I'll be watching the Map at all times. And I will probably be lurking a floor above you . . . just in case," he added with a wink. Hermione grinned at him before leaving.

The trip down to the kitchens was a rather silent one, although the tension was heavy between them; Hermione wasn't sure to go about asking questions, and Peter was trying to shut himself down before she opened him up again. Yet, the two continued on towards the kitchen, huddled together beneath the Cloak, passing no one. The corridors were eerily silent, and if Hermione's mind wasn't preoccupied with what to say to Peter, she would have been nervous.

Finally, upon arrival, Peter was bombarded by House Elves who caught onto his paleness; they presented an array of food to help cheer (and fill) him up, and would not allow him to sit without trying at least everything.

"I'm glad you're eating, you looked very pale," Hermione said at last. Peter gave her a small smile, before grabbing a turkey leg.

"Things are just hard. You know, with the exams, and my m-mother," Peter informed her, trying to maintain his composure.

"When is her burial?" Hermione asked cautiously; "I'm sure Dumbledore will let you—"

"Her body wasn't found." This was said with such stiffness Hermione thought the poor boy might snap in two. "They—they said that it was an accident, and that the wreckage was too great to find her body . . . so many others died with her, I just . . ."

Once again, Hermione touched his arm and this seemed to soothe him; he was slowly approaching his breaking point, but her touched pulled him back to reality, and he was able to hold it together.

"My mother hates Muggles, so there's no reason why she should've been on the London Underground." Hermione's eye widened: she remembered the stories from her parents who had lost a friend to the great disaster many years ago. A terrorist bombing, they had called it. _But I hadn't realized_ . . .

"Oh, Peter, I'm so sorry," Hermione whispered, doe eyed with fear. Peter stared across the room, his jaw taut and quivering.

"They must've—must've used the Imperious Curse on her, to make her get onto the tube. The Muggles did their body counts, but so many others could not be identified and had been lost that it was impossible to find her . . ."

Hermione's mind was racing. If there were so many Muggles, and Peter's mother was on the London Underground, so many things could have happened. There might have been a chance that she escaped, or had been captured, or—

"Peter," began Hermione slowly, "Don't you think there's a chance that—"

"Someone sent me a piece of her wand. It had blood on it." Horrified, Hermione clapped a hand to her mouth.

"Who would—"

"And they sent a letter with it too," Peter uttered, now looking glassy eyed.

"Where is the letter now?"

"Just after I managed to read it, it began to burn. All by itself. Like in those self-destruct Muggle's movies Lily always showed us." _Just like my letter_, Hermione thought.

"What did it say?" she asked, her body tensed before she could ask the question. Did she really want to know the scarring words that had been haunting Peter for the last few weeks?

Peter turned away from her, his body hunched and trembling. "I can't—I can't—"

"Please," she urged. "Nothing bad will happen if you tell me, I promise. I won't say anything."

"I can't," he croaked. She touched his shoulder, but instead of warming to her like he had been, he pulled away from her. He stood up, back still to her, and moved away.

"Peter, please, I want to help you!" Hermione begged, going after him. Peter darted away from her, and out of the kitchens, his sobs echoing off the lonely corridor walls.

Standing in the empty kitchen, Hermione looked around and heaved a great sigh, wondering if anything would ever be accomplished with Peter.

_What use do they have with Peter? _Hermione mused, cupping her forehead in her hands. _He knows what they know, and they already know what he knows about me. There is nothing about him that is of any use . . . not yet, anyway. _

_But perhaps these things are not being done to have an instant effect . . . just as Dumbledore said, by pulling the group apart at the weakest link, it makes us all weak in the end. _

_Maybe Voldemort is getting a head start? But has Harry's prophecy even been made yet? No, surely not . . . so how can he know? Perhaps Voldemort recognizes that he must infiltrate the Order of the Phoenix, but cannot do so directly . . ._

Hermione could just imagine the possibilities with that idea, however gruesome they were. As she remembered her fifth year, when Harry was so tormented by simply dreams and nightmares, it appeared that getting Peter to crack would be easy if he was still under pressure and incredibly sensitive.

One thing was for sure, however; Hermione knew that, no matter what, Peter was going to betray them all. She could not stop him from doing it, but the very least she could do was make him feel guilty about it.

_-x-x-x-_

It was June. The sky was a calming blue, stretching out above them like a tired but beautiful canvas. The Great Lake glistened under the constant sun, the squid sun bathing in the shallows while the envious students stayed cooped up, hiding behind text books and book shelves, wand movements and essays, and memorized charms, ingredients, instructions, and so much more.

"This is _unbearable_," Sirius heaved, throwing a hand upon his forehead. With a loud huff, he turned to look out the window.

"Padfoot, you'll never get out of Hogwarts if you don't study," Peter chided him. Behind her book, Hermione smiled; their conversation in the kitchen may not have reaped wonderful results, but it did bring Peter back into the group at least.

"Peter is right, Sirius," Lily agreed, her quill racing across her parchment. As she began a new line, ink splattered her nose, unbeknownst to her. Sirius giggled.

"We have this one last day to study, and then you won't have to worry about anything else. I promise," James said. Lily's boyfriend was being quite diligent himself, working just as fast as Lily was. For once, his title as Head Boy really seemed to suit him.

"But I don't _wanna_," Sirius whined.

"Now, now!" Remus said, shaking a finger at him. "You must do your work, Sirius."

"No!" Sirius pouted, crossing his arms and sticking his nose in the air.

"Sirius, yes."

"No!"

"Sirius!"

"_No_!"

"Sirius?" It was Hermione this time.

"Yes?" he answered excitedly. She grinned.

"You said yes! Do your work!"

"_No_!"

The Marauder's laughed at their friend's lack of assiduousness, and continued on with their own work. Sirius huffed some more, making more noise was necessary. "I'm _bored_," he announced. No one seemed to notice his, and for his he released a dramatic, loud sigh. "SO _BORED_," he said again.

Upset at the lack of attention, Sirius muttered to himself and dug around in his bag to look for something to do. There, he found the Marauder's Map' unfolding it, he looked around, giving a loud sigh every so often to remind his friends how bored he was.

And then he saw Pansy Parkinson blinking on the map.

"Hermione," Sirius said slowly. "Pansy is blinking again."

This instantly gained the attention of everyone, but none more so than Hermione, who took the map from Sirius at once. She inspected Pansy's movements closely, and saw the adjacent dots were Lucius and Rose.

_Why does it blink?_ Hermione mused. _Perhaps she is time travelling, that's the only way she can even explain her presence here anyway. _

"Look!" The three dots were headed out of their dormitory, and down the corridor. More and more people began to join them until it seemed that—

"Illimni. They're having another meeting," Hermione said at once.

"Can we go spy on them?" Sirius suggested.

"I have a better idea. Let's set Dumbledore on them. Or a professor. We can't keep running headfirst into these things," she said wisely. They all agreed to go to the Headmaster, when suddenly they were interrupted. An owl swooped into the common room and dropped something into Hermione's hands.

Hermione looked to Remus anxiously, who squeezed her shoulder. Slowly, she opened the letter.

_I know you're watching me. This is your last chance before the inevitable happens._

Just like before, moments after Hermione had finished reading it, the parchment began to curl and hiss into flames. Peter's jaw dropped with an audible gasp.

"What should we do?" Hermione whispered.

"We're all going this time," Remus said firmly.

"But why would she just _invite_ you down there?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"Because . . . " But Hermione's mind could not come up with a solution. What could they want with her? What could Pansy have to tell her that Hermione didn't already know?

"What about Dumbledore?"

"They wouldn't invite you to a killing spree, Hermione. I think we'll be alright this time. If all of us are going, and it's in this empty classroom they're all headed for, it's okay. We're close enough to Hull's office she'll hear any commotion," Remus soothed her.

"But if Hull is so close, why don't we just have her sneak into the meeting?"

The Marauder's exchanged looks. "Do you really want her getting involved in this?"

_-x-x-x-_

Treading the last corner with a great deal of caution, the Marauder's, Lily and Hermione entered the empty classroom that the Illimni seemed to be gathered in. It was quiet as the Gryffindors stepped in, although the air was tense and thick with hatred.

Girls sat and stood, glaring at Hermione as they filed in. There was a noticeable lack of members, however, which pleased Hermione immensely; the expulsion had at least done them some good.

Pansy stepped out from the crowd, a sneer on her face that had always seemed permanent. Narcissa, Rose, and Emma were just behind her.

"What do you want me here for?" Hermione finally said in a hard, clear voice.

"I just want you to know something before I leave here, Granger," Pansy said, her voice sickeningly sweet. She began to walk towards Hermione and speak very quietly. Remus squeezed her shoulder once again, although Hermione's heart began to hammer in her ears.

"All of this will be left behind. No one will remember you, or me, or any of this. No one can save you, and you can't prove that any of this happened. It doesn't matter that you have friends here, or things happened that you didn't enjoy, or even that you have a relationship with your filthy little werewolf," Pansy hissed, eyes narrowed.

"You say that like you have some control over the situation," Hermione countered. "Who are you to say what my future will be?" Pansy threw back her head and shrieked with laughter.

"You think you can carry on a relationship with a _Professor_? Do you really think you can go and tell Potty and Weasel that you befriended his parents?" Pansy's laughter turned into a cackle as Hermione's face began to empty of color.

"You can make all the peace you want, and you can get all the revenge on me, and on the Illimni, and on Lucius that you want. But do you think _anyone will believe you_?"

The world was spinning beneath her feet, and nausea crept up her throat; eyes opened or closed, it didn't matter—everything was spiraling away from Hermione as soon as she reached out to grab it. Everything that she cherished was stolen, smashed to pieces without warning—

"I will believe her. It won't matter how old I am!" Sirius shouted.

"And I'll be there," said James fiercely.

"And so will I," Lily added intensely.

Hermione didn't dare look over her shoulder to acknowledge these promises. Her eyes were locked with Pansy's, who had a triumphant sneer upon her face.

Lily and James would be dead.

Peter with be with the Dark Lord.

Sirius would have been alive to support her, but by the time she got back . . . he would also be dead.

And Remus . . .

"I won't _ever_ leave you, Hermione," Remus promised in a growl, holding onto her even tighter.

Pansy's grin was sickening.

Then, without any words spoken, the Illimni began to file out of the room, one by one, until only Pansy, Rose, and Emma were left. It was then that Lucius entered the room; the Marauder's instinctively pulled Hermione behind them, but nothing would tear the dark, smug faces out of her mind as the Slytherins left.

_Pansy was right . . . I will be all alone_.

_-x-x-x-_

"So, that's it, huh?" Lily asked.

It was midnight, and the two girls were lying in bed, but neither one could sleep. If they listened quietly, they could hear their boyfriends snoring.

"I hope so," Hermione said quietly.

"It just seems strange . . . it was almost as if they didn't even put up a fight. After everything that happened?"

"I know," Hermione agreed absently.

Earlier, Hermione had watched Pansy's dot blink until it gradually faded away, and she was gone entirely. Back to 1998, where she belonged. Hermione didn't know whether to feel jealous or pleased; jealous because Hermione wanted her actions to be that simple, or pleased because Pansy was finally out of her hair.

Whichever feeling she felt, it didn't matter. Everything Pansy said was right, 100% absolutely correct. It was a feeling that clawed the inside of Hermione's chest, scratching and chipping away at her core until she felt like she could no longer breathe, let alone feel properly.

She tried to hold on to all of these pleasant memories she had just recently developed, but they were being ripped away regardless. Ripped away from Hermione just as she soon would be from the Marauder's and Lily. Ripped away from this new home and safety.

"I'll be right back," Hermione murmured. She pushed off her covers and walked blindly out of her dormitory.

_I don't have much time left . . . _

Cold feet directed her robotically down the stairs and into the boys' dormitory where Remus was sleeping.

_I could be taken away, back home, in any instant . . ._

Her fingers guided her through the blackness, and sought out the familiarity of Remus' sleeping body.

_I will have so many regrets, so many things left to say . . ._

"Remus," Hermione whispered, shaking him.

_I have to say goodbye as soon as I can, just in case, so that at least I will have these memories . . _

Her boyfriend groaned and turned over. Rubbing his eyes, he gave her a weary smile before moving over to one side of bed and offering her what was left for room.

_I cannot let my love go unexpressed any longer . . . because it will be torn away . . . he will be torn away . . ._

Hermione did not climb into bed, but instead, silently began to unbutton her pajamas.

"Hermione, what-?"

"I love you," she whispered, and the bulk of her clothes hit the floor with a soft thud. Remus sat up, wide eyed, staring into her eyes.

"What are you doing?" he murmured.

"Please," was all she could say.

Feeling around, Remus snatched his wand from the bedside table, and proceeding to put silencing charms on his bed hangings. When he was done, he swallowed the nervous lump in his throat and invited Hermione to lay beside him. Pulling the curtains around his bed, he was wide awake with the fear of getting caught, but also with the adrenaline that was pumping through him.

"Why now?" he asked her quietly.

"Because I don't know when I'll be sent home. And things are so complicated in the future, you would share this with me then. In whatever time we have, please, can we . . ."

Remus hushed her with a gentle finger to her lips. His hand found its way to her cheek, his mouth to his lips, and his body to hers.

That night, it was if nothing else mattered, and no other love existed but their own.

**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**

**Author's note: **well, hopefully I will pump out the last couple chapters this week. I really have no life right now, so it will be awesomeeeee. Sorry for like, a couple years worth of wait =)

**Please review!**


	21. Understanding

**Author's Note:** pumping these out like a champ!

**Disclaimer:** Nope, I don't own Harry Potter. It would be nice though.

**Still So Close to You  
by darkwing731  
**-  
((-Chapter Twenty Two-))  
Understanding

_"Why now?" he asked her quietly._

_"Because I don't know when I'll be sent home. And things are so complicated in the future, you would not share this with me then. In whatever time we have, please, can we . . ."_

_Remus hushed her with a gentle finger to her lips. His hand found its way to her cheek, his mouth to his lips, and his body to hers._

_That night, it was if nothing else mattered, and no other love existed but their own._

While the entirety of the seventh years completed their NEWT's, Jane Lewis could be seen lounging about the Great Lake at any given hour, reading a book in the shade or staring contemplatively at the sky. There were whispered rumors about her still, but she seemed to be unaware that others had spent time defaming her character.

For you see, Jane Lewis seemed to have moved on in life; these past months, she had caused quite a stir, and in the aftermath of the chaos, she seemed to be at peace with everything. First years travelled by her in cautious clumps, whispering about her, while others passed by alone, unmoved by her reputation.

Whatever they did, though, Jane Lewis simply did not care.

To the quick observer, it would seem that she was enjoying this time alone by being outside, basking in the warm weather, but to the trained eye, Miss Jane Lewis was planning. Her thoughts were racing in her head, ideas being strung together like tinsel on a Christmas tree. She appeared to be calm, but that was only because she was sitting still, silently, doing noticeably nothing.

To a Miss Hermione Granger, she was planning something that she had been preparing for. In the next week, the moon would be full, and she knew that Remus would be far away from her, body and mind torn away from the comfort that she was. However, she had a gift for him, one that would at least quell the confusion and pain that he succumbed to every month, one that would bring Remus Lupin a little bit closer to him.

How would she give him this gift? Should there be others around? When should she do it? Should she tell him what it was? There were many questions to be answered, and many more questions to come after that.

Her questions were put to rest as the seventh years piled out into the courtyard to finally enjoy the start of summer. The Marauders were quick to be at Hermione's side. Remus found her first, and with a soft kiss, they smiled at each other.

"So how was it?" she asked, once everyone had spread out on the grass around her.

"UUUUGGGGHHHH" was all Sirius could manage to utter before rolling over onto his stomach.

"I second that," James said wearily, throwing an arm around Lily.

"I wish I had studied more last night," Peter said with a yawn. "I must've got half of those essays wrong."

"Well, I thought that—"

"UGH," Sirius moaned again. The group looked at him, but he still remained face down on the grass.

"What Padfoot _means_ to say is, please stop talking about the exams," James explained with a sage nod.

"Mmmergdhfed," Sirius agreed with a muffled noise.

"What about you, Remus?" Hermione asked, turning to nudge his cheek with her nose. He grinned and planted a kiss on her jaw.

"It was difficult, yes, but that was to be expected. I'm just glad it's over," he said with a sigh.

"Me too," Peter agreed. "Five days left of school though. I'm so glad we have nothing to do for the next five days."

"We can just relax . . ."

"Do nothing."

"Swim!"

"Sleep."

"Mmmergdhfed," Sirius chimed in again. However, this prompted him turn over onto his back. "We should sneak into Hogsmeade tonight to celebrate. Yes? Yes?"

"Well . . . I can look the other way as you boys sneak out, I suppose," Lily said with grin. James suddenly pounced on her, pulling her into a hug on the ground.

"Oh no, you're coming with me!" James growled playfully; the rest of the group turned away as the couple proceeded kiss happily.

"I like it," Hermione piped up. Sirius cheered.

"She likes it, we're going!"

And so, they went. That night, the Marauders and the girls snuck as fast as they could to the grounds later that night, Peter transforming into his rat state so that they could get past the Whomping Willow.

"What shall we do when we get there?" hissed Lily as they hurried into the hole beneath the tree.

"My darling, we are going to have Firewhiskey tonight! Or butterbeer if you're into that," James added quickly at Lily's stern look. 

When they got to the Three Broomsticks, the Marauders were met with several other seventh years who managed to sneak out in their own way. James promised his friends alcohol, and after swaggering to the bar and persuading that completing their NEWT's deserved at least one drink, there was Firewhiskey all around (and butterbeer as well).

James poured drinks into shot glasses, and everyone picked theirs up. James held up his glass, and with a great fake sniff, said, "You guys, I just can't believe—"

"Ah, drink it already, Potter!" Lily exclaimed.

"To life! To life!" James shouted.

"L'chaim!" Hermione and Lily sang, giggling at their Muggle reference. The Marauders downed their drinks, laughing as it burned their throats and pouring more. All night, it was laughter all around, nothing but grins and dares and kissing and fun.

For once, Hermione felt completely at ease.

_-x-x-x-_

Five days later, everyone was packing their things. The Great Hall was an anticipated event, filled with food, drinks, and cheer. Dumbledore's speech would bid them farewell, good luck, and welcome to the returning students. Hermione had gotten a letter from Dumbledore to come to his office a half hour before the final dinner, and Hermione hoped it would not be solemn meeting.

"I think he'll just want to know how everything went, finally," Remus suggested as he folded his socks. Hermione was sitting on his bed, watching him back and thinking out loud.

"Do you think I should ask him if I should do anything else? Or if they'll do anything else?"

Remus laughed gently, and put aside his socks. He went to her, and cupped her face in his hands. "You must stop worrying," he said with a kiss to her forehead. She smiled but rolled her eyes.

"But I told you—" Remus silenced her with a kiss.

"We're leaving tonight. You have nothing left to worry about, okay?"

"Except that wherever I manage to stay they'll find me or something," Hermione said playfully.

"My house has complete defensive charms around it, you'll be fine, don't worry."

Hermione's heart skipped a beat. "Your house?"

Remus grinned, running a hand through her hair. "Would you want to stay anywhere else?"

Hermione laughed and hugged him, resting her head beneath his chin. "You know, that comment was kind of pretentious," she teased.

"Pretentious? How's this for pretentious!" Remus grabbed her beneath the legs and flipped her onto the bed, and the couple shrieked with laughter as they ruined all of Remus' careful piles of clothing with their laughter and love.

They had just started kissing when Sirius and James walked in. "And I was all like—damn it, Mooney! Put a tie on the doorknob or _something_!" Sirius exclaimed.

"We were just—"

"_We were doing anything_!" James sang, mocking them.

"Give me a break, James," Remus chortled, and Hermione threw a pillow at him for extra measure. James ducked just in time, but then Lily and Peter arrived, chatting still about their exams. The pillow meant for James hit Lily directly in the face.

"WHAT—"

"He did it!" James and Sirius screamed, pointing at each other. Lily picked up the pillow and looked carefully at it.

"Well, I outta—"And without further ado began chasing the boy around the room; Peter picked up another pillow and began hitting whoever was closest to him. At this point, Remus and Hermione decided to join the fun, and began hitting with their pillows as well. 

James and Sirius were the most vicious with their pillows, but Lily was not to be underestimated, for she was the quickest. Peter rarely got hit, but Remus recovered the fastest. Hermione possessed none of these skills and simply got hit time and time again.

In one particular moment, James decided to just swoop around in a circle and hit whatever was in his way. Lily saw this and dived for James knees, which forced him to fall and topple into Hermione, who brought Remus down with her. It was now a faceoff between Sirius and Peter.

In the fashion of an old western gun fight, Sirius and Padfoot eyed each other suspiciously, hands twitching, eyes unblinking, before they roared and attacked each other. 

"Go, Peter!"

"Whack him! Whack him!"

"Go for the belly!"

"No, the knees!"

"Kick him in the nads!"

"Sirius?"

The strange new voice captured Sirius' attention instantly, and Peter hit Sirius' head with such a force that the Black toppled over. 

Peter took in a big triumphant breathe. "I—" Then Peter saw who was standing in the doorway; "—win?"

It was Emma.

The fun that had been gained was now replaced with crackling tension.

"What do you want?" Sirius asked in a low voice, quiet but angry.

"I . . . I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," Emma said quietly; she was standing just outside the doorway, wringing her hands together anxiously.

"Sorry for what?" Sirius growled. Emma squeezed her eyes and tried to relieve her trembling with a shaky sigh.

"For hurting you!" Emma exclaimed with a barely contained sob. His eyes remained cold and hard, but all his friends could see were his hands, which were clenching and unclenching in indecision.

As tears began to escape Emma's eyes, Sirius asked her very quietly, "Is that all you're sorry for?" 

With an astounded, offended look, she glanced at Hermione and back at Sirius. "You—you can't expect me to be sorry about her. You are _my_ boyfriend, I had to defend you at all costs!"

"Oh come _off_ it, Emma," Lily snapped. 

"You shut your dirty little mouth," Emma hissed.

"Hey, don't talk to her like that!" James snarled.

"You know that she kissed Sirius right? I saw it with my own two eyes, she's a little lying _whore_!" Emma spat.

"Get out," Sirius said at last.

"W-What?" Emma stammered, eyes wide. "But Sirius, don't you—"

"GET OUT!" he bellowed. "I don't want to hear another second of your _shit_, you're just like Rose! And Narcissa! And Bellatrix! You're just like them!"

"They _made _me, Sirius!" Emma screamed. "You think I wanted to do all of those things—"

"Hogwash," Sirius cut across. "Get the hell out of my dorm."

"No," she croaked, eyes narrowing. "You're really choosing her over me? That good for nothing Mudblood?"

"I won't say it again, Emma," Sirius snarled.

"She will bring you nothing but trouble! At least I can offer you protection!" Emma pleaded, torn between fury and desperation.

"Out!" Sirius barked.

"No!" Emma shouted. Suddenly, Hermione was standing beside Sirius, eyes set on Emma's face.

"You heard him. Get out," Hermione said with a certain coolness to her voice.

"Who the hell do you think—" 

_SMACK!_

The force of Hermione's hit send Emma reeling backward and Hermione simply slammed the door shut and locked it with a charm. She turned around to face the group, who was staring at her, gaping.

"Well, now that this is nice and awkward, let's pack, shall we?" 

_-x-x-x-_

"Good evening, Miss Granger," Dumbledore greeted as Hermione quietly slid into his office. 

"Professor," Hermione returned with a smile. 

"Would you care for a lemon drop?" Dumbledore offered, but the girl shook her head with a laugh.

"Quite honestly, I've never really liked them much."

"To each his own, one must say," the Headmaster replied sagely. "Now, to be frank, you must be wondering why I've beckoned you this evening."

"I had been curious, but I decided that you simply wanted to know how the rest of the year has turned out for me before I finally leave," Hermione suggested.

"You are quite right," Dumbledore replied. "But there is something else."

"Something good or bad?"

"It depends on your point of view, I believe," Dumbledore murmured. "Which would you like to discuss first, Miss Granger? Your recent happenings or the information I have for you?"

"Undeniably the information, sir," Hermione gushed with a sheepish smile. "Hopefully it's not bad news, but I suppose bad news is better than no news . . ."

Dumbledore cleared his throat, before carefully removing a piece of parchment from inside his robes. "You do recall the letter I had you bring to my past self several weeks ago, yes?"

"Of course, Professor."

"Well, apparently, Miss Granger, when you return home you are to visit back here briefly to give me another letter. Would you like to read it?" Dumbledore offered, holding it out for Hermione to take.

Moving without a moment's hesitation, Hermione carefully examined the letter; there were several stains on the parchment, almost as if they were dried tears. Carefully, however, she began to unfold the letter and read:****

_My dear self,_

_I am writing from the year 1998. I cannot tell you the details of what is happening, but my only details will include a singular person: Hermione Granger. She came into your hands approximately December, and will leave to her proper time at exactly midnight on July 7, 1979. Please inform Miss Granger that she will return in the same fashion that she arrived. When she returns to her proper time, she is to immediately come to your office in order to deliver this letter to you._

_Sincerely, _

_Me._

The breath escaped from her lung, taking with it Hermione's ability to remain calm, and also her keen sense of logic. "_July seventh_?" she sputtered. "That's—"

"Fifteen days, yes," Dumbledore sighed. "I believe it is enough time for you to get your affairs in order, Miss Granger."

Without thinking, without giving permission to her body, Hermione sank into the nearest chair, her mind desperately clutching at some sort of understanding. 15 days? 15 days? She had only just settled her battles, had only just begun to fully appreciate her relationship with Remus, had only just begun to love those around her who protected her, no matter what they would do in the future.

"Can't I stay longer?" Hermione uttered. 

"I have no control over the charm that keeps you here, Miss Granger. It is not up to me."

"No, I suppose not . . ."

But after that, Hermione could stay no longer. She felt an urgent need to escape and meticulously plan every moment of her remaining time with Remus. There were thousands of questions that buzzed in her head, but she acknowledged only one of them: should she tell Remus or not?

_-x-x-x-_

The heavy question occupied every brain cell in Hermione's mind, and for once it did not seem that anything could overshadow it. Troubled, Hermione rushed down Dumbledore's spiral staircase and towards the Great Hall, wanting nothing more than to attach herself to Remus, and Lily, and James, and her friends, just so that she might have one more precious moment with them before she was ripped away. 

_Fifteen days? It will take me that long to settle in at Remus', to get used to another strange home and feel comfortable around more strangers that are sure to leave me soon._

_Fifteen days to get my wits together and decide how I will handle the future, or my time, I suppose. What am I supposed to tell Harry and Ron?_

And she couldn't let Pansy's reminder cross her mind . . . _What about Remus? _

_What about Pansy? Will she constantly torment me of what I've lost here?_

A horrified thought crossed her mind: _what about Lucius? _

That made a chill creep up her spine; the thought of a forty-something year old man making a pass at her was more disgusting than anything she could imagine. But then, there would surely be no reason for Lucius to even acknowledge the things he had done. What reason would he have?

_I can't worry myself with that now, _Hermione chided herself. _There are more pressing issues . . . like losing Remus. _

"Ah, Granger, all alone again," said the silky voice that cut through her skittish thoughts. Hermione whirled around to see Lucius and Narcissa strolling in the hallway towards the Great Hall. 

"It does not make difference anymore," Hermione shot back. "You can't even come near me, and she is no match for me."

"I wouldn't say that so quickly," Narcissa purred. "You don't know what I'm capable of."

"I know you're not capable of anything without the Illimni behind you. Neither one of you are," Hermione hissed. "Malfoy would be nothing without your pack of girls following his directions, and without his directions your pack of girls would get nothing accomplished. Do you honestly think terrorizing people will win your favor with Lord Voldemort?"

"Filthy little Mudblood, you dare say his name?" Narcissa spat. 

"I am not scared to speak the name of a weak tyrant who will soon meet his downfall," Hermione retorted. "He is everything I am against, why should I succumb to fearing his name if will succumb to nothing else?"

Lucius had remained quiet until now, watching the heated fight between the two girls. "It does not matter what you do or do not say, Granger," Lucius said quietly. "There will be no glory for you. Not now, not ever."

_He's right_, a little voice said in the back of her mind. Angrily, Hermione shook her head, both to quell the voice and to disregard Lucius' comment. 

"You're wrong," she spat back.

"Remember, Granger: the castle walls are my only restrictions. Your little friends do not stand a chance when we leave here tonight."

"They mean nothing to you, or whatever Voldemort desires. We both know I had all the information anyone needed. And you got what you wanted, so what does it matter?"

"Granger, don't pretend to be so innocent. They are just as precious to Dumbledore as you are. You are not the only one with eyes."

"You will never find us, Malfoy," she growled.

_I will not let him scare me_, Hermione thought. With this, she turned on her heel and began to march away, hoping to let off the steam that had so vigorously gathered. However, he would not let her leave without a bone chilling comment.

"I will be watching you, Granger," Lucius called after her. "Now, and until the Dark Lord prevails."

_-x-x-x-_

The festivities for the last feast were incredible, as was Dumbledore's final speech, the winning of the House Cup, and the air was thick with excitement and joy, reluctance and sadness, but regardless of the final feelings of the students, everyone was buzzing with energy, free from worry.

Except, of course, Hermione. 

To the rest of the Gryffindors, it seemed that Jane Lewis was simply having a bad day. Her eyes were trained on her plate, which was full of untouched food, and her face was paler than usual. Her friends, of course, realized this, but were trying to remain upbeat and happy, for this was their last time together with every single one of their friends.

Remus Lupin had an arm draped across her back, every now and then giving her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. This attitude of Jane Lewis remained throughout the entire feast, as well as the train ride back to King's Cross.

As the Marauders played game after game of Exploding Snap, or chatted and swapped stories, Hermione simply stared at the countryside racing past them. Lily would throw concerned looks at Remus every now and then, who looked as if he were at a loss of what to do.

James would nudge his friend every now and then, trying to make the werewolf confront her. Finally, Remus could stand it no longer.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" Any playfulness in the compartment instantly vanished.

"You've been so silent since dinner," Lily reminded her. "Let us help you."

"As soon as we settle, once we're all at home, we're going to be attacked," Hermione said quietly, never taking her eyes off the countryside. "I don't know this for a fact, but it is the summer. Voldemort will use every force he can to destroy the Order."

"The Order?" James asked. Hermione whipped around. _They haven't been inducted yet . . ._

"It's . . . You'll soon find out. But our efforts will be futile, because the Illimni can act freely once we are all back home," Hermione assured them gravely. "Don't you remember? All they would ever tell us is that the castle walls were their only restriction."

"But why would they?" Sirius asked. "They've got all the information from you they could possibly want, what else can they do—"

"I don't matter anymore," Hermione hissed. "I'll be gone very soon, and it's not me they want anymore."

"Gone?" they all echoed. 

"And what could they possibly want from _us_?"

Like every other moment, Hermione's mind met a dead end. How could she honestly answer their questions without destroying the delicate future?

Remus seemed to know exactly what she was thinking, and reasoned, "If you told us what happened, we could avoid it. We could stop them."

Hermione hesitated, beginning to tremble with the honesty that was infiltrating their conversation. "I don't know what happens in between, Remus, only . . . only the disaster that is the final result," she said solemnly. 

"Why disaster?" Lily asked quietly. 

"Because Voldemort is very powerful, and he wants nothing more than to eradicate anything that stands in his way!" Hermione croaked, wiping away the tears that had slowly begun to escape her eyes.

"You're saying, then, that we're all to be snuffed out?" Peter said slowly, as if he were on the verge of just figuring out the true implications of his words.

_How do I say no to such a devastating question?_

Heavy was her heart, but even heavier was her conscience. How could she look all these people that she loved in the eye, and tell them no, they would not die, but would prevail against evil forces?

"Just—just love each other as deeply and honestly as you can," Hermione whispered, her face now shiny with tears. "That way, if the worst happens, you know that every precious moment of your lives meant something."

She could take it no longer; she burst out of the compartment, overwhelmed with the sadness of the situation and the upcoming tragedy she would be absent from. 

How could she go on living and breathing when everyone she loved would soon be dead?

_Only fifteen days left . . ._

**_-  
-x-x-x-  
-_**

**Author's Note:** so I just want to explain something really quick. The letter Dumbledore let Hermione read is slightly confusing, as you may know. This is what is happening: when Hermione goes back to her proper time, she goes to Dumbledore's office, at which time he writes the letter. Then he sends Hermione back in time for just a moment to deliver that letter; this is only done to inform the past Dumbledore of the Hermione showing up, because the present Dumbledore knows how all of this already went down.

So confusing.

Hopefully only 5 more chapters left!

Also. The rest of this story is dedicated to Faithful Wheezy, because she inspired me to pick this story back up =)

**Please review!**


	22. Decisions

N**ote: **so this chapter isn't what I would call boring, but it's not really action packed. It's mostly just information. Hopefully, still enjoyable though.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, just some OC's that are hanging around in my story!

**Still So Close to You  
by darkwing731  
**-  
((-Chapter Twenty Three-))  
Decisions

_Heavy was her heart, but even heavier was her conscience. How could she look all these people that she loved in the eye, and tell them no, they would not die, but would prevail against evil forces?_

"_Just—just love each other as deeply and honestly as you can," Hermione whispered, her face now shiny with tears. "That way, if the worst happens, you know that every precious moment of your lives meant something."_

_She could take it no longer; she burst out of the compartment, overwhelmed with the sadness of the situation and the upcoming tragedy she would be absent from. _

_How could she go on living and breathing when everyone she loved would soon be dead?_

_Only fifteen days left . . ._

By the end of the train ride, Remus had managed to calm Hermione down; though she still remained rather quiet, she did not look as mournful and troubled as she did before.

"So, Mooney, Padfoot, Wormtail," James began, "I think some mischief is in order at my house once we're all settled in."

"What sort of mischief?" Lily asked cautiously, brow quirked.

"Oh, nothing too bad. Bewitching the kitchen when my mother is trying to cook, putting Impervious Charms on all the chairs, those sorts of things," James informed her, and the Marauders chuckled.

"They sound like very immature pranks," Lily started to say, but James cut her off with a "No no no no no, shhh."

"They could be doing much worse," Hermione reminded her redheaded friend.

"Our pranks _have_ always bordered on slightly dangerous," Sirius admitted with a grin.

"We just want a bit of fun, Lilykins," James cooed, snuggling up to her. She rolled her eyes and shoved him away, but everyone could see her flushed smile.

"Fine," she said at last. "At least let me be there for it, though."

"Lily! Taking part in mischief?" Remus gasped, feigning horror. "I never thought the day would come."

"Well we best have fun while we still can, right?" Lily proposed, although her words held a hint of solemnity.

"Exactly," James agreed. "Anyway, I decided it would best to do everything next week, seeing as the full moon is this weekend and poor old Mooney won't be able to move until at least Tuesday."

"That's very true," Remus agreed. He turned to Hermione. "I'll be with you for a few days before I transform, but you may end up being all alone with my mother for a few days as well."

"Oh, that's alright Remus, I don't mind!" Hermione said.

"And you could always stay with me, too," Lily said. "Granted my sister isn't home. But she's always off with her ruddy boyfriend, so it shouldn't be too bad."

"That sounds inviting as well," Hermione mused. "I'll owl you and let you know."

James took over the conversation once again, and the Marauders plotted their upcoming mischief and pranks, making the girls laugh and cringe with their ideas. On the other side of the train, Slytherins were doing something very similar, although instead of plotting mischief, they were plotting something terrible.

Lucius was lounging in the compartment while the most active members of the Illimni were talking feverishly, swapping ideas on where and when to attack, or even to attack at all.

"You must remember, they'll be expecting us to come knocking at their front door, wands at the ready," Narcissa reminded her female companions. "All of our attacks have been much too upfront, so subtlety is key."

"If we are not to attack up front, then we must have an in. And since Pettigrew has been so emotional over the loss of his mother, I highly doubt they will let him out of their sights," Emma reasoned. "They'll expect us to go for him."

"We need another way in. Pansy left me with enough information to intimidate Granger if we must," Rose suggested.

"Enough with that Mudblood," Lucius drawled, letting his fingers crawl across Narcissa's back. "She's too aware of what we'll do, and what we're looking for."

"She and Pettigrew are the only soft spots. How else do you intend to quietly destroy them?" Rose shot back.

"Maybe . . . Granger isn't the Mudblood we want this time," Emma said quietly. All eyes were trained on Emma Danes now, who looked nervous.

"I know where Evans lives. I know exactly how her house works. I know her mother won't know of our ruined friendship. It would be easy to steal her away," Emma proposed, talking very quickly as if she were forcing the words out of her mouth before she could regret saying them.

Emma looked to Lucius, and following suit, the leading ladies of the Illimni turned to do so as well. Lucius frowned for a moment, fingers curled in Narcissa's blond hair, while he toyed with the idea.

"Poor Potter would be devastated without his beloved," Lucius murmured at last. "He'd be willing to do anything to get her back."

"He'd be hysterical," Narcissa agreed.

"And very, very irrational," Emma chimed in.

"I think we have a plan," Lucius drawled, throwing a pleased look in Emma's direction. Rose turned and smiled at her as well.

"You've redeemed yourself. I truly thought you would fail us in the end. This might be the plan we need to secure the upper hand. The Dark Lord should be pleased," Rose congratulated. Emma smiled sheepishly.

"When shall we attack, Lucius?" Narcissa asked him.

"We need to have this planned very well, everything completely secure and solidified. I will have to discuss it with my father, who can very easily set up a meeting with the Dark Lord," Lucius informed them. "If all goes well, we shall attack in two weeks."

_-x-x-x-_

The Marauders stood at the platform, surrounded by the train's smoke, hooting owls, and a cacophony of noise as students and families bustled to and fro, coming and going, laughing and crying, and saying goodbye. The Marauders that were parting embraced each other with as much masculinity as they could muster, but gave Lily and Hermione fierce hugs.

Peter was the first to leave, not wanting to stop and chat because his father had arrived, and looked particularly solemn. "I'll write you guys," he promised before waving and leaving them.

"I'll owl you in a few days, Lily," Hermione promised as they embraced. "As much as I'm sure I'll love Remus' mother. . . " Remus laughed and gave his girlfriend a playful nudge.

"As soon as Remus is recovered from his monthly excursion, we're going to have a wild time at my house, all summer!" James exclaimed. "No one is allowed to go home. It will be fantastic!"

"But-but-but-!" Sirius started to blubber.

"Sirius, you live with James," Lily deadpanned, and everyone laughed. Suddenly, the redhead pointed. "Mum's here!" Lily rushed over to her, waving goodbye to the group and towing her luggage behind her.

James decided to go after her. "Be right back, mate," he said to Sirius, who winked.

Hermione and Remus joined hands and grabbed their luggage. As they began to say goodbye, Sirius grabbed them both round the shoulders and looked the part of the concerned father. "Now, you two, when you finally decide that the moment has come, please lock your door."

"Sirius!" Hermione hissed, turning a bright shade of scarlet.

"A silencing charm works just as well," Remus reasoned. "But yes, I suppose a lock would do the trick."

"Silencing charm?" Sirius scoffed. "Mooney, please, silencing charms are for third years."

"Well, it seemed to do the trick the other night," Remus said suggestively.

Sirius and Hermione gaped at the same time. "_Remus_!" they both exclaimed, Hermione out of embarrassment and Sirius out of surprise.

"Are you two telling me—"

"No!" and "Yep!" bombarded Sirius' ears at the same time.

"He doesn't need to know that!" Hermione moaned, flustered, with a hand over her eyes.

"Sorry," Remus said sheepishly. Sirius started chuckling, nudging his mate in the ribs.

"Oh, you lovebirds. Be safe, you two! Tootles!"

Remus sighed and shook his head with a laugh while Hermione suppressed the urged to hit Remus. "You are becoming too much like James, do you know that? Childish and arrogant!" Her words were adorned with an admiring, however annoyed, smile.

The werewolf puffed out his chest. "I have every reason to act like James now!"

"And why is that, Mr. Lupin?" she asked curiously as they began to pick up their belongings and head towards the platform.

"Because I have the most beautiful girl at my side, and I have every reason to act insane with joy," he told Hermione, tapping her nose. She swiped at his hand, but giggled.

"Anyway, my mother said she'd meet us at the Leaky Cauldron. We can apparate to my house from there. She told me she's very excited to meet you."

Hermione and Remus began their short journey to the Leaky Cauldron while Remus talked about his house and where she would be sleeping and other such things. When they finally reached the dingy little bar, Hermione could instantly figure out which witch was Remus' mother.

She did not look old, but weary, weathered almost. She and Remus shared the same sandy brown hair and the kind, gentle face, but she had startling blue eyes and a wide smile; she had a vigorous handshake, but it did not seem that she had the same shyness Remus did.

"Hello! I'm Rhea! You must be Jane, Remus has told me all about you," Rhea gushed. Her looks deceived her, because she was excited and bubbly although she looked like she wanted nothing more than to go to sleep.

"It's a pleasure," Hermione said.

"Remus tells me you're Muggleborn? Well, I think it is such a delight to bring such diversity into my home, it will be so interesting being able to compare magic to Muggle!"

"Uh, yes, I think it will be very fascinating—"

"Of course, you must be terribly familiar with everything already, since you went to Hogwarts, so it should be an easy stay in the Lupin household!"

"I-I think so, yes . . ."

"And I must say. . ."

Hermione was alarmed at how much Rhea Lupin could talk and talk and talk; she and Remus exchanged a suppressed laugh as his mother went on and on and on. Finally, Remus cut across her constant stream of words.

"Mother, we should probably apparate now."

"Oh! Oh yes of course, dear me! I didn't mean to—"

"Come on, now, Mum." They made their way to the back of the Leaky Cauldron to be out of everyone's way. "Do you have everything, Jane?" Remus asked Hermione. She grinned at him and nodded, and they laced hands. "Ready?"

"Ready," she answered.

Squeezing hands, she was suddenly sucked into a miniscule tunnel and pulled through the air, one molecule at the time. It was unbearable, the pressure on her head and body, and she thought it was never going to end. But just as suddenly, she landed on wobbling legs in a very quaint kitchen. Remus helped her into a straight backed chair at his kitchen table, and then Rhea apparated beside Hermione with a small _pop_!

"Anyway, as I was saying, there is certainly a lot of air traffic around here. So many kids nowadays have brooms, and just feel like it is their god given right to just fly around my house and above and be as loud as they want—"

"Normally, it's just Sirius and James," Remus whispered to Hermione, who stifled another laugh.

"And even if I go out there and give them a good talking to—"

"Mum?" Remus interrupted her.

"Yes, darling?" Rhea said with such kindness it took Hermione off guard. The Muggleborn thought it would have taken Remus at least five more attempts to gather his mother's attention.

"I'm going to help Jane unpack, alright?"

"That sounds lovely! Should we have dinner afterwards?" Rhea questioned.

"That would be delightful," Hermione answered. With a smile in Rhea's direction, Hermione followed Remus through his house and up the stairs, their trunks in stow.

Hermione, for some reason, was under the impression that the Lupin family had quite a bit of money, but as she looked around her new surroundings, they clearly did not. It was not as if they were poor like the Weasleys, but it appeared the financial state of Remus' family was just below average.

_Perhaps it's because of his werewolf condition. Surely that must cost very much, with all the medicine once he transforms back into human again. Or perhaps it costs a lot to house a werewolf. Where does he go when he transforms?_

"This is my room, here," Remus said, opening the door. Hermione peered in, her curiosity aroused.

All around were pictures and books, which reminded Hermione strongly of her own room. The bed was neatly folded, which someone did not fit in with the atmosphere of Remus Lupin's room. His walls were adorned from Hogwarts things, collected over the years, and books were stacked in piles on the floor, spilling out of the bookcase, and some under his bed. Scarlet and gold hangings hung beside his window, splashing onto the bed which was pushed up against the window.

On his night stand, there were two framed pictures. Hermione could not resist the urge to look at them: one was a picture of the Marauders, in which Peter was standing nicely, but James and Sirius were attempting to give each other noogies, while Remus chided them. The other picture was of Remus and an older man, and they had their arms around each other. The man had Remus' eyes and shy smile, and looked very intelligent.

"That's my father," Remus said quietly. "He was killed a few years ago by a Death Eater."

"Remus, I'm so sorry," Hermione whispered, eyes wide.

He shrugged, looking at the ground. "He was trying to avenge me, so it comforts me, I suppose. He was going after the Death Eater that bit me."

"He was a brave man, then," Hermione said quietly.

"Yes. He was. Let's move on though, I want to show you your room," he said, taking her hand and guiding her out. They only moved a few feet down the hall before Remus opened another door.

"The guest bedroom, madam. Please, make yourself at home," Remus drawled with a heavy accent, sweeping his arms towards the room. Hermione laughed and swatted at him.

She put her trunk aside, and dropped down on the flower print of the bed, before looking around. All the walls were white, with two windows that overlooked the woods behind the house. Remus lied down next to her.

"Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful in here," Hermione assured him. "This will be perfect!"

"Good," Remus said. Suddenly, he pulled his wand out of his pocket with a devilish grin; with a flick of his wrist, the door shut and the lock clicked.

Hermione eyed Remus suspiciously. "Excuse me, do you really think you can just—" He caught her off guard with a fierce kiss, and she was silenced.

Lying back on the bed, Remus edged his way on top of her, their bodies already intertwined, fingers on warm flesh, lips on skin, a parallel, racing heartbeat. Just as Remus inched his hand up Hermione's shirt, and her hands were at his belt, there was a sharp knock at the window.

"Merlin!" Remus shouted, getting up to let the owl in. "I am going to have to kill Sirius if this is—oh. Hermione, quickly."

Rushing to his side, Hermione instantly recognized Dumbledore's handwriting.

_Mr. Lupin and Miss Lewis,_

_There will be a portkey in the shape of a broken crate box advertising bananas in the alleyway on 35__th__ street in London, behind the Golden Spoon restaurant. It will leave at exactly 8:45 tonight. Your attendance is not only mandatory, but incredibly crucial. Please burn this once you are finished._

_A.D._

"What . . . what could this be about? Is everything alright?" Remus questioned, worried. Hermione gave him a grave look.

_-x-x-x-_

"Is this it? It has bananas drawn all over it," Hermione announced, showing Remus. He quickly checked his watch, before looking around.

"8:44, we better grab on." Just as they did, the time hit 8:45 and the portkey snatched them away from the alleyway and brought them flying through time and space; everything was whirling around Hermione like she was on a merry-go-round, but suddenly she was thrown to the ground and the spinning stopped.

"Uuugh," came a familiar moan of displeasure.

"Sirius?" Hermione said, finally getting up, nursing her now bruised arm.

"Hey! You and Mooney are here!"

In fact, all the Marauders were there, and so was Lily. Instead of immediately coming together, they all looked at each other in confusion.

"Does anyone know where we are?" Peter asked at last. They were in the middle of a large, open field, and off to their right in the distance was a house sitting on a hill, the sun just setting behind it. Hermione recognized the far building at once.

They were at the Burrow.

Except . . . it was different. It was not as tall, and did not look as run down. In fact, it looked welcoming and comfortable, almost as if the owners had enough money to care about their house's appearance.

"This is the Prewett's place," James said slowly.

_That makes sense. Mrs. Weasley's maiden name is Prewett, so this must belong to her brothers . . . that will soon be gone . . ._

"But what's this all about?" Lily proposed.

"You'll see soon enough," Hermione informed them. "Come on."

Hermione led the nervous group to the house, walking without hesitation into the twilight that was falling over their path. As they approached the door, a tall, lanky figure stepped out from inside and stared at them. At a glance, this person would have passed for Dumbledore, but there was something distinctly different about him. Perhaps his eyes lacked the twinkle, or he did not appear as omniscient.

"In, quickly," the stranger said brusquely. The group hurried inside, looking at each other in both suspicious and curious befuddlement. The stranger led them up the hallway, and into the Burrow kitchen, where there were many adults waiting. Some were sitting, though most were standing; this crowd also seemed to spill over into the sitting room, but it appeared the general company was keen on being in the kitchen.

"Ah, at last," welcomed a familiar voice. It was Dumbledore, sitting at the head of the table. The Marauders clumped together, unsure of whether to be relaxed or alarmed.

Dumbledore wasted no time, and immediately stole their attention away; their wandering, curious eyes snapped to his face. "As you are well aware, Voldemort is quickly gaining power and is terrorizing both our world, and the Muggles. The loss of our friends and fellow wizards is also increasingly augmenting, and this terror and destruction must be put to a stop.

"That is why, tonight, I have invited you six here tonight," Dumbledore said slowly. "All that you see gathered here tonight are constantly putting all of their efforts into bringing the Dark Lord to his downfall. These deaths and heinous deeds have committed to our own brethren, and must be put to a halt."

"I have a younger sister who has seen more death than my grandfather when Grindelwald was on his most infamous rampage. I cannot stand to watch another wizard fall while I am idly standing by," seethed a passionate, angered looking man, whose face was now just as red as his hair.

"Fabian Prewett," Dumbledore introduced with a tiny sweep of his hand.

"Have you been shielded from the terrors of war?" Fabian asked quietly. "Hogwarts presents itself as an easy and welcoming distraction. I doubt you have experienced any sort of tragedy."

"My mother was murdered," Peter spoke up.

"I have been constantly under attack by the Illimni," Hermione said as well.

"My father was killed, trying to avenge me," Remus offered.

"My ex-girlfriend is a Death Eater," Sirius growled. "And so is my excuse of a family."

The group of adults said nothing, but there seemed to be a shiver of acknowledgment between all of them. Many exchanged meaningful glances to one another, but still said nothing.

"And you two?" Fabian addressed Lily and James.

The couple stared at each other, not knowing what to say. Finally, James stepped forward boldly. "I haven't experienced all of these terrible things firsthand, but these have been my best mates for years. I have stood beside them while they were dragged through hell."

"And I'm Muggleborn. I've been experiencing the harshness of prejudice for years," Lily offered meekly.

"None of us are exactly what you'd call innocent," Sirius said in a hard voice. "You-Know-Who doesn't deserve another second alive."

"But you're too fearful to say his name," hissed another redheaded man.

"Gideon Prewett," Dumbledore said quietly.

"Forgive me," Sirius growled. "I grew up in a family that would punish such audacity. Lord _Voldemort_ will not prevail if we can stop it."

"How do we know you won't crumble when we need you the most?" Fabian inquired, eyes narrowed at them.

"I want to avenge my father's death," Remus said.

"I want to prove my family wrong," Sirius spat.

"I want to protect my friends and my family," James informed them.

"I'm scared of running; I want to fight back," Hermione said curtly.

"She didn't deserve to die," Peter whispered.

"A Mudblood is just as good as a pureblood," Lily said fiercely.

The two brothers looked to one another and then looked to Dumbledore, who gave them a small smile. The Headmaster turned to the Marauders, eyes twinkling.

"Welcome . . . to the Order of the Phoenix."

_-x-x-x-_

After every member had been introduced, and the basic rules and regulations of being a member were discussed, Dumbledore allowed the Marauders and the girls to privately discuss whether or not they still wanted to join the Order. They were stuffed into a side tea room, with a closed door and a slightly musty couch.

"It sounds demanding, but rewarding," Lily reasoned.

"You'll always be putting your lives in danger," Hermione reminded her friends. "Death Eaters play dirty, and they will not hesitate to kill."

"What's in it for us?" Peter asked curiously. Hermione whipped her head around and scrutinized him.

"Being alive, maybe? And protecting those that mean the most. And putting a stop to something that is so monstrously wrong," Hermione growled. "I suppose there is no gold prize at the end, but that's not what matters in war, Peter."

"Easy," Remus told her quietly, touching her shoulder.

"No, Remus!" Hermione shouted. She turned to look each one of her companions in the eye, her own brown eyes glowing fiercely. "I don't think you understand the gravity of being in the Order! _People are going to die_!"

"But _we_ won't die," Peter tried correcting her.

"How do you know that for sure?" Hermione retorted. "For all you know, we could all be killed tomorrow! The Death Eaters are worse than anything the Illimni could pretend to be, and much more merciless."

"Why does that make joining any more appealing?" James inquired suspiciously.

"James, do you love Lily?"

"Yes!" James said sternly without a moment's hesitation.

"Do you want to watch as she is captured and killed, while you stand by and do nothing about it?"

"I would never just _stand _by!" James snarled. "I'd fight for her—"

"And it would be just _you_ fighting. If the Order was behind you, Lily's life could easily be saved. If it were just you, you wouldn't stand a chance. And neither would she," Hermione warned him.

"I will do anything to protect you, Lily," James told his girlfriend directly, giving her a fierce kiss. "I'll join the Order."

"I'll join as well," Lily said. "If we have a future together, I want to protect that."

"I'm in," Sirius muttered. "Fuck my family."

"I want to take down the Death Eater that killed my father . . . and who bit me," Remus confessed in a low, angry voice.

"Do you remember his name?" Hermione asked quietly.

"Fenrir Greyback."

"What about you, Peter?" James asked his quivering friend.

Peter stared at the ground, but he looked as if he had tears in his eyes. "I just want my mother back."

"She's dead, Peter," Hermione said quietly, touching his arm. The mousy boy turned away from her touch, trying to quell the tears that began to slide down his cheeks.

"I'll join," he said at last.

"We're not trying to peer pressure you into this, Peter," Lily said gently, also putting a gentle hand on his arm.

"But if you're all in the Order, where will that leave me? It's the only option that makes sense," Peter reasoned.

"Let's go tell Dumbledore, then," Sirius decided. Obliging, the group followed Padfoot back into the kitchen.

In the pit of her stomach, Hermione felt the writhing, boiling claw of guilt. Peter Pettigrew was to shortly betray everything that he had treasured his whole life, but she did nothing to stop it.

_I cannot interfere anymore . . ._

_-x-x-x-_

It was past midnight, and all of their surroundings were pitch black. However, it did not frighten them in the least, but somehow gave them comfort that they could hide in the cloak of security. On the roof of his house, Remus and Hermione stared into the night sky, freckled with stars and an iridescent, incomplete orb.

"It's deceiving how beautiful the moon can be sometimes," Remus whispered, nudging Hermione with his nose. She was buried in the crook of his arm, hands woven around his torso as they lay together.

"If you want, I'll steal the real moon and put a picture up there instead," Hermione offered with a weak smile.

"It _would_ help with my inconvenient transformations," Remus decided.

"What would you say if I told you I had some sort of mystery gift that could help ease your transformations each month?"

"I'd say you were a loony," Remus answered with a laugh. Hermione sat up and stared at him.

"But really, Remus."

He sat up as well and gave her a hard stare, searching her eyes for any sort of mockery. "I would want to know the details of such a mystery gift."

Hermione grinned. "Well, if you use this mystery gift during the days preceding the full moon, it would allow you to have a much less painful transformation . . . and would render you safe. You would simply just be . . . a sleeping wolf. Harmless."

Even though it was pitch black, Hermione could see Remus' eyes widen. "Are you serious?"

"Well, actually, I'm Hermione . . . " They both chuckled at this. "But yes. It's . . . a very, very late birthday present, Remus. I've been meaning to give it to you for a while now."

"Hermione, you didn't have to get me anything at all! Especially not this . . and how, by the way, did you get this miracle gift?" he asked curiously.

"Ah, that is a secret. I will never tell you," Hermione teased, poking Remus on the nose. He chuckled, before lying back down against the roof. Hermione lied against him, and together they stared into the black abyss above them.

"I love you, Hermione. I don't care how the future turns out, you will always be the only one I love," Remus whispered to her.

There was a tight knot in her stomach, and a dry lump in her throat. "I love you too, Remus," she managed to utter before wiping away a few tears.

_14 days left . . ._

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Note:** technically 14 days left, because it's after midnight. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that chapter. I am guessing that there will be five chapters left, and an epilogue =)

PS- the woman who gave birth to Remus and Romulus was named Rhea Silvia (and their father was actually the god, Mars!). Just a little bit of fun stuff!

**Thank you Faithful Wheezy**, you inspire me!

**Please review!**


	23. Tainted Perfection

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, just some OC's and the plot!

**Still So Close to You  
by darkwing731  
**-  
((-Chapter Twenty Four-))  
Tainted Perfection

"_Hermione, you didn't have to get me anything at all! Especially not this . . . and how, by the way, did you get this miracle gift?" he asked curiously. _

"_Ah, that is a secret. I will never tell you," Hermione teased, poking Remus on the nose. He chuckled, before lying back down against the roof. Hermione lied against him, and together they stared into the black abyss above them._

"_I love you, Hermione. I don't care how the future turns out, you will always be the only one I love," Remus whispered to her._

_There was a tight knot in her stomach, and a dry lump in her throat. "I love you too, Remus," she managed to utter before wiping away a few tears._

_14 days left . . ._

Two days had gone by. The air was ripe with tension. It was the first night of the full moon, and as Hermione had instructed, Remus had been drinking the Wolfsbane Potion for the last few days. As dusk approached, Hermione became rather twitchy and silent, although Remus and his mother Rhea carried on as if nothing else in the world had changed.

"So James' mother owled me and said that she would be hosting your little gang for a few days, and I said, as long as my Remus is in a different room than the girls!" Rhea chided, shaking a finger at her son. "Not that I don't trust you, Jane, it's just that Remy here shouldn't be exposed like that! Imagine the peer pressure!"

Remus and Hermione shared a meaningful look behind his mother's back.

"That Sirius Black, he sure does like to wave a wizard's wand! I've never met a boy who encourages chaos like Sirius!" Rhea exclaimed, nodding vigorously. "And you can only imagine what he'd do to impress a girl! Why, I say, he'll do anything to get with that Lily girl."

"That's James, mum," Remus reminded her.

"Oh? Yes well . . . I still wouldn't put it past him," Rhea muttered. "Anyway, Remus, it's nearly dusk, you better head downstairs."

"Downstairs? Why?" Hermione questioned at once, looking suddenly fearful.

"Well, I can't really be set loose in the house, now can I?" Remus posed. "It's just a room to help . . . contain whatever damage I cause."

"Will you be quite loud?" Hermione asked timidly.

"Yes, most likely. You might want to owl Lily and ask if you can stay with her, because it can be rather frightening," Remus advised slowly. Hermione looked pained at the thought of parting with Remus, especially at such a crucial point. "I'll be alright! And I'll owl you as soon as I'm feeling better."

"Yes, alright," Hermione finally agreed. "Can I make sure you get downstairs alright? I'm sorry, I'm just nervous . . ."

"You're not even doing the transforming," Remus teased. "Come see me to my room, it will be fine." Remus led her to the basement door, and reassuringly enough, the downstairs was very finished and did not remind her of something out of Muggle horror movie.

When they got to the bottom of the staircase, just to the right was a heavy metal door. Remus took a key from a hook beside the door and unlocked it, pushing the thick frame forward on its hinges. Inside, Hermione saw a very bland room, with stone walls and floors. While this seemed all right, the blood and the deep gashes in the stone unnerved her.

Remus stepped inside. "I'll, uh, be handing you my clothes in a moment as well. It's better if I'm, uh, naked, simply because I don't shred all my things . . ." He stepped behind the privacy of the door, and after a minute, shoved a pile of clothing out to Hermione, who took it wordlessly.

When he came out, she looked frightened, and almost sad. He gave her a comforting smile, before beckoning her closer. Moving as he obliged, he gave her a soft kiss. "Don't worry," he whispered. "Oh, and you'll have to lock me in. My mother comes down every other hour everyday to check on me, so don't worry."

"I'll try not to," Hermione managed to say, fear gripping her like the icy hand of death. Remus smiled at her again and closed the door; it took a few minutes to get the key in the lock for her hand was shaking so badly.

In the kitchen, Hermione paced and paced, not wanting to leave Remus' house in case something happened, but also not keen on sticking around to hear his screams of torment. She watched the clock grow later, and watched the shadows grow longer, before suddenly, a cry of anguish ripped through the house's silence like a gunshot.

Startled, Hermione dropped into a chair, trembling. Rhea was elsewhere, though Hermione knew that his mother was used to the first initial roars of pain. Again, as the werewolf below released a blood-curling roar of pain, Hermione gripped the table and tried to silence her quivering body.

"It goes on like this for hours, you'll probably want to owl Lily," Rhea's voice said suddenly from above her. Weakly, Hermione nodded and managed to make it to her room, trying to block the vicious howls echoing from below.

An hour later, Hermione was standing on the street corner with some luggage shrunken safely in her pocket. She withdrew her wand, muttering, "_Lumos_," before stepping onto the Knight Bus. The triple-decker bus had not changed (or rather, would not change) at all; it was still massive and purple, and had collected an odd assortment of riders.

"'Leven sickles, please," muttered the boy at the door, holding out his hand automatically; he was reading _The Daily Prophet _and was most interested in that than he was in the new customer. "Where to?"

"Uh, 26 Carousel Drive, in Redhill," Hermione said, placing coins in the boy's hands. She quickly secured a seat, grabbing onto whatever she could, for she knew – _BANG!_ – the Bus would be off in no time.

After some uncomfortable stops, the driver finally announced, "Carousel Drive, Redhill!" Quickly exiting the bus, Hermione could see Lily hiding by the nearest streetlight, trying not to look so suspicious to her Muggle neighbors.

The Bus sped away, which left Lily and Hermione to rush to one another. "How is he?" Lily asked at once.

"Horrible. But all right, I hope. The screaming is really what got to me," muttered Hermione. Lily rubbed her shoulder gently and then led her inside.

The girls had to be very quiet going into the house, for it was close to midnight and most of her family was asleep. Thankfully, Petunia was gone, spending the night at her boyfriend's apartment in the city. Lily had a cot on which Hermione could sleep, and it was a comfortable makeshift bed. However, the brunette simply could not sleep.

_I only have twelve days left . . . how can I express to each and every one of them how much I love them? How much they have impacted my lives? How much I will miss them when I'm gone . . . when they're gone?_

_How can I look them each in the eye after this days passes? As I draw nearer to my departure?_

_Should I tell them that I'm leaving?_

This decision was a curious and tricky decision to make. She could tell the Marauders that she was leaving on a certain day, and the rest of their remaining time would be haunted by an internal clock, each one of them more aware than anything else. Or, she could tell no one, and they could simply enjoy the rest of their time together, uninhibited by sadness and reluctance to see her leave.

She could prepare them, or surprise them. Each decision had its advantages and disadvantages.

"Hermione?" Lily was still awake as well.

"Yes?"

"Did we all make the right decision by being in the Order?" Though Lily could not see it, Hermione's body tensed.

"Of course," Hermione answered.

"It's just . . . I'm scared to think about the war. I feel as if every moment, since we've joined, I've been being watched."

"I'm not going to tell you not to worry about it," Hermione began. "Because honestly, constant vigilance is necessary, and to be feeling paranoid is better than feeling nothing at all."

"I don't want to see my friends die," Lily said in a small voice. In an even smaller one, she whispered, "Or James."

"Lily, you can't think like that. If you think about their deaths, then you've already lost faith in them. You have to be optimistic, and fight your heart just as much as you fight the enemy."

"Will I lose any of my friends?" Lily asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what happens, Hermione. Please tell me, please let me prepare for the worst," she begged, visibly sitting up in her bed.

_You lose your husband, your best friends, everything . . . but you have the most magnificent and wonderful son . . . how can one precious gain outweigh many losses?_

"You know I can't answer that, Lily," Hermione said apologetically.

"_Please_," Lily pleaded again, and there was the sound of a badly contained sob.

"I-I can't tell you about your friends, Lily, but . . . one day, you will have a child. And he . . . he will grow up to be an incredible person. You must think optimistically, Lily. I'm only telling you about this because you must look towards the future. Don't you want to make the world a better place for your children? Don't you want your child to grow up without the threat of kidnap? Of murder?"

She had said too much. It was apparent the moment Hermione stopped talking. Now that she had released a small tidbit, Lily wanted to know everything.

"Will I be with James? Is he _our_ son? Do we get married?"

"Goodnight, Lily."

"Hermione, _please_—"

But Hermione had already turned over and laid still, silently.

_-x-x-x-_

Two days later, just as Remus promised, she received an owl from her boyfriend.

_Hermione,_

_The mystery potion worked marvelously. As soon as I had completed my transformation, I was in complete control of myself. My mother has never heard the house so silent. Please hurry home._

_I love you,_

_Remus_

"'I love you', huh?" Lily repeated, reading over Hermione's shoulder. The girl snatched it away from her friend, but was blushing furiously.

Hermione packed up her things, and together the two girls took the Knight Bus back over to Remus', for James had sent out a letter to all his friends which invited them all to stay for a few days.

As they were packing, Lily suggested, "We should bring from Muggle treats. I made James try a s'more once, and he adored it. And imagine Moony, he'll go crazy for the chocolate!" So they packed s'mores material, as well as popcorn, frozen pizza, cheese sticks, and anything they thought might alarm their wizardly companions.

Eventually, they made their way to James' house, Hermione and Lily stopping briefly at Remus' before the three of them apparated to the Potter residence. James' house could be called more of an estate, and its grandeur was apparent even from the outside gate. The granite slabs that the pathway consisted of led them to the front door, which swung open without anyone's help. Mrs. Potter appeared at once, not looking anything like James except for her eyes.

"Hello Remus, Lily, good to see you two again," she greeted warmly. She shook Hermione's hand. "You must be Jane Lewis, I've heard a lot about you."

"All good things, I hope," Hermione said with sheepish smile.

Mrs. Potter led them through the extravagant house and to the backyard, where Sirius and James were dancing around a large bonfire, trying to pressure Peter into doing the same. The boys reveled in the sight of the ladies, and of Remus, and soon, James and Sirius had managed to get everyone to dance around with them.

Later on, while the Marauders were discussing potential pranks they could pull in the house, Lily and Hermione decided to intervene on their mischievous planning. Instead of proposing their ideas to the Marauders, the girls simply started taking out s'mores materials. As soon as the marshmallow began to roast under the flames, Sirius' attention was caught.

"What's that?" he piped up, already mesmerized.

"It's a Muggle treat," Lily answered, promptly taking her mallow out of the fire, for it had begun to burn. She started to set it up with the graham cracker and chocolate.

"Chocolate?" Remus inquired, staring.

"Lilykins, I want one!" James whined suddenly.

"You can make one yourself, Potter," Lily teased, holding her s'more securely in her hands.

In no time, mischief was forgotten and the boys were set up with roasting sticks and mallows. It took a few times for the boys to understand that the point was not to burn the marshmallow, but to cook it to a golden brown very carefully.

"Mine fell in the fire!" Peter whined. Lily handed him a perfectly new mallow without a word.

"Can I just have the chocolate?" Remus asked Hermione, who laughed and shook her head.

"That would defeat the purpose of the s'mores, Remus."

"S'mores?" all the boys echoed.

Over the next several days, constant trips were made to James' house, and events such as s'mores, popping popcorn, and doing other Muggle things. As the days ticked by, Hermione tried desperately to ignore how frightfully aware she was of each passing second. The impending doom that was leading up to July 7, exactly at midnight, was crawling closer to her every second.

She tried to relish these fun filled moments she was having with the Marauders and Lily; she felt that, without a deadline to face, things would have been wonderful for forever, for it seemed that no turmoil could touch this group of wizards, no death would ever choose them.

One night, after Hermione and Remus left James', they finally enjoyed an uninterrupted hour of pleasure and love, soft gentle hands and cautious movements, hushed laughter and low moans. Afterwards, they held each other in Remus' bed and stared out into the black night, silently enjoying one another.

"Hermione," Remus said quietly. "Are you leaving us quite soon?"

Instead of the joy being sucked out her of lungs to be replaced by icy dread, Hermione just released a quiet sigh. "Yes. I didn't want to say anything, because I just wanted all of us to have fun, and enjoy what time we had left."

"I had a feeling," Remus started quietly, "that something had changed within you. Perhaps that was it. When you leave, how long will it be until I get to see you again?"

Hermione struggled with the morality of answering that question. Should she tell him? What damage would it do if she did? After all, they _would _see one another again in the future, except she would not remember him until the end of her seventh year . . .

"In about twenty years," Hermione responded with a humorless laugh. "Except I won't have any recollection of this until the end of my schooling, because it was before Christmas of my seventh year that I stumbled upon the Time Charm."

"I don't think I want to wait that long," Remus murmured, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. "How about you stay here, and just go through the next twenty years with me instead?"

"I wish it were that simple, Remus," Hermione confessed with a sigh.

There were a few minutes of silence as Remus and Hermione moved around a bit, kissing and holding one another; she finally stayed still with her head on his bare chest, his fingers sending goose bumps up her spine as he stroked her ribs.

"Why hasn't Dumbledore asked us to do anything yet?" Remus questioned.

"I think . . . he wants to give you some sort of training, or the likes, or wait until he truly needs you to employ any more members. Why put you in danger as soon as possible? And perhaps he is rounding up others as well."

"Yes, I think Lily said something about getting a letter from Alice, who said she and Frank Longbottom were also summoned to the Prewett's house." There was a long, pregnant pause before Remus confessed, "I'm just anxious. I think your paranoia is starting to take hold of me as well, because I don't feel safe anymore, all of a sudden. I feel like we're being watched, all the time."

"Lily told me that as well," Hermione informed him. "Perhaps we are being watched. Maybe we should talk to Dumbledore."

"I agree," Hermione said. "Tomorrow, we'll owl him."

Indeed they did. Remus took up the quill and wrote what he wanted, while Hermione mused as calmly as she could about her remaining five days. A wonderful ten days had already gone by, and she had managed to get closer and more comfortable with Lily and the rest of the Marauders. James' house became a funhouse for all of them, while Rhea Lupin became like a second mother to Hermione (although quite a talkative one); she didn't want to leave all these people with another colorful memory, but something very pleasing they could remember her by.

Hermione didn't know whether she wanted to write them all personal, detailed, and tear stained letters, but she felt that doing anything less would just be useless. She had five days left to decide, but she knew that with each day, it would be more difficult to make a decision.

_-x-x-x-_

Lucius Malfoy paced to and fro in his sitting room, waiting anxiously for his father to reenter. Seated before him were all the girls that comprised of the Illimni, and many young men that had already joined the Death Eater force. Among them was Regulus Black, Severus Snape, the LeStrange brothers, Avery, MacNair, Dolohov, and others. Instead of chatting with their attractive female counterparts, everyone was watching Lucius nervously.

Finally, the ornate silver handle clicked as it turned, and all heads snapped to Abraxas Malfoy strolled into the room. He and Lucius looked incredibly similar, although Lucius still had not been touched by age, and did not look as aged or lined as his father.

"The Dark Lord approves, Lucius," drawled the eldest Malfoy. "However, he advises one thing. Instead of capturing the Mudblood and only targeting the young fools, broaden the attack to the entirety of the Order. These blood traitors will certainly be new to the Order, and should there be chaos and quandary there, it will spread over."

"What a marvelous thought," Lucius murmured, savoring the idea of Potter and his friends panicking.

"Oh, he also mentions this: do not wait only a day to take the Mudblood away before you strike into their pitiful hearts. Keep her away from them for several days, for each day that passes will make them more likely to act foolishly to ensure her return."

"Who does the Dark Lord suggest capture Mudblood Evans?"

"He shall hand-pick the precious few who are allowed to complete this mission."

No sooner had Abraxas said this did the door handle turn once more; very few of the newly inducted Death Eaters had ever laid eyes on Lord Voldemort for more than a few seconds, which made them sit straightly and nervously, almost fearfully.

"Lucius, Lucius . . . I have heard many great things about your work so far at school," said the Dark Lord, strolling into the room and sending a shiver down the spines of the room's occupants.

"Thank you, my Lord. It has been a pleasure proving myself," Lucius replied, as modestly as he could.

"Indeed . . . tell me, who has been most fruitful in their attempts to help you?" Voldemort inquired with sibilant hiss.

"The rudiments of this plan were suggested by Emmaline Danes, my Lord, who has also proved herself a trustworthy insider of the enemy. Rose Sanders as well, able to fool and deceive someone very close to Mudblood Granger. And of course," Lucius said slowly, his silver eyes transfixed on Narcissa, "Narcissa Black had more than adequately led the Illimni when I could not be present, remaining calm when all others were frantic."

"Is that all, Lucius? No men to assist you at all?"

"No, my Lord. These young women have proved themselves more than dependable in the art of combat. And, forgive me if I sound facetious, but this sort of mission requires a more delicate and subtly touch, one I fear most of my male companions lack." There was a general chortle at this among the new Death Eaters.

"Very good, Lucius, very good. You have certainly proved yourself. You and your chosen companions will single handedly carry out the deed, and upon doing that, I shall allow you maintain other responsibilities that only the trusted can handle."

"It would be an honor, my Lord," Lucius accepted, his voice smug and thick with triumph. "When shall we attack?"

"Tomorrow night."

_-x-x-x_

It was now July 3; Hermione was anxious as ever, but admittedly happy. It was better to be leaving in good graces than to leave in any other way, and however sad she might be, it would ease her mind knowing that in her last moments, they were all happy. It seemed that nothing could startle the paradise these last two weeks had been, and that the future would remain untouched as well.

"Dumbledore says he and some of the Order will go around to each of our houses tonight to put powerful defensive and protective charms up," Remus called to Hermione as he read the letter from Dumbledore.

Hermione, who was in the bathroom brushing her teeth vigorously, responded, "'Oo dee goon stard wid?"

"Excuse me?" Remus asked, laughing.

Hermione grumbled audibly, and after spitting out her toothpaste, repeated, "Who is he going to start with?"

"Probably the Potters, since both he and Sirius are living there, and we're always over there. From there, I'm not sure. He said it would only take a day to do it, though."

"Quick and easy," Hermione summarized, coming into Remus' room.

"Just the way I like it," he said with a grin, pulling her into his arms; she shrieked playfully and squirmed, although she gave into his sweet kisses after a few moments of fighting. As soon as their kisses turned into slow, passionate movements, Remus' mother called him from the kitchen.

"We have terrible timing," Remus murmured into her neck, before departing with an annoyed sigh. Hermione finished cleaning her teeth as diligently as she could, both to honor her dentist Muggle parents, and to wait for Remus to return.

When he did, Hermione asked what his mother wanted. "Just to know when we were leaving for James' tonight. I guess she overheard our plans about going into London, so she's just giving me the whole, _Remus you must be careful, you can't just go prancing about_! But we are anyway."

"It will be ever so fun," Hermione gushed. "Lily and I looked into plays around the Circle Theatre; it would be wonderful for you boys to see some Shakespeare!"

"I wouldn't mind at all, but you know Sirius and James are going to have a fit."

Remus was right; as soon as they all headed off to London, flooing into the Leaky Cauldron and then heading straight into the Muggle world (with the guidance of Lily and Hermione), the boys were already fidgeting.

"Can't we go to one of those brilliant clubs I've heard about?" Sirius pleaded. "I hear they've got massive crowds that just dance around and throw their clothes around."

"No, because one of us will certainly be drugged or something," Lily stated flatly. "No clubs."

"_Lily_!" Sirius whined. He turned to James and pointed an accusing finger at the redhead. "She's being mean! Make her change her mind!"

"Sirius, grow up!"

The play that night was _A Midsummer Night's Dream_, and although both Hermione and Lily had studied it in school, neither one of them enjoyed it more than Remus, who seemed to be captivated by the language. James, Sirius, and Peter, however, decided to throw balled up programs at one another, causing quite a commotion, which was the entire basis of the group being kicked out.

At a loss for what to do, the small throng on teen wandered about. They teased the stoic guards, posed with bronze statues, scared birds, and even dared one another to jump into the River Thames. Very bored, the heart of the city beckoned them, and the girls decided to bring the Marauders to the movies. Some run down cinema was playing _Zombi 2 _for very cheap, so they all chipped in and bought tickets.

"Look at that machine thing! It's got pupcorn—"

"_Pop_corn, James—"

"Popcorn flying everywhere!"

"These drinks over here look revolting," Sirius muttered, looking at the soda pop. "Who would put oranges into a drink? It's all frothy on top like some boogey—"

"It's pop!" Hermione informed him, giggling. "Soda, tonic! Trust me, you'll like it."

Arms full of candy, popcorn, and soda, the six of them set off and settled down in their seats. The boys had much to complain about ("Someone is going to have a feelsie on me, it's so dark in here!") but quickly got over it. The cinema did not astound them, for pictures moved in the magical world, but it was the sound and the animation that captivated them.

The fact that there were other people in the theater had completely escaped the Marauders, for when the more gruesome and terrifying scenes crossed the screen, they were uncensored in their fear.

"_He's fighting a shark, he's fighting a shark_!" Peter shrieked, pointing in horror at the screen.

At another point, when one of the female characters was being attacked by a zombie, her eye was stabbed viciously, and blood spurted her head and all around. James screamed and plastered himself to Lily, shaking in fear, while Remus and Hermione's eyes were glued in terror to the events going on. Somewhere to their right, Peter could be heard moaning in revulsion.

But, like every other teenager, each one of them blasted out of the cinema with raging reviews and quick tales that relived their favorite scenes.

"Did you see the shark?"

"And her eye just came right out! Popped!"

"Those mummies were awfully realistic!"

"They were zombies . . ."

Their excited chattering did not cease even when they reached the Leaky Cauldron. It was with regrets and promises to continue the conversation about their Muggle experience that allowed the group to finally part. James, Lily, and Sirius all went to James' house, Remus and Hermione to the werewolf's, and Peter to his own.

When James, Lily, and Sirius arrived at their destination, they tiptoed around the house, trying desperately not to wake James' parents.

"Come on, let's go for a ride on the brooms!" James whispered.

"James, you know I hate flying," Lily groaned.

"It's nice out, Lils. Just hold on tight, and you'll be fine!" Sirius goaded her. After a few minutes, she finally gave in.

The boys snuck to the broom shed and collected two of the best brooms. Holding James securely from behind, Lily squeezed her eyes shut as her boyfriend kicked off the ground, catapulting them into the sky.

She thought it would take forever and be a terrible ride, but the cool wind berating her face was not that bad, and as long as James kept this constant speed and not try and do any stunts, she surmised she would not have minded being on this broom as much as she normally did.

"How about that Muggle flick, eh? We should go do that more often, that thing was wicked," Sirius called to his best mate over the wind.

"Only if they're all that gruesome! It's amazing what these Muggles do without magic!"

"I bet we could make a wicked movie if we used magic. Those Muggles would be going bonkers 'cause it'll look so good!"

Finally, they touched down by Lily's house, and the girl could not scramble off the broom fast enough. James and Sirius had decided they wanted to make a flying movie, and James _had_ to show Sirius some of the neat broom tricks they could use in their movie.

"T-This is why I don't _fly_, Potter," Lily stammered as she wobbled about her yard, trying to get her land legs back.

"Yes, well . . . Sirius, bug off for about fifteen minutes, eh?" James asked his friend. Sirius groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Yes yes, don't mind me, I'll just be off sleeping in a tree somewhere . . ." As James picked up his girlfriend and soared into her bedroom window (much to Lily's protest), Sirius yelled after them, "Oi! Protection, you two!" To himself he muttered, "Merlin, I need another girlfriend."

Inside Lily's room, Lily was now tucked away in her bed, James standing over her. He had a devilish smile, and suddenly he jumped on the bed beside her, pulling aside the covers with vigor. "Now, where were we, Evans? Oh yes; once upon a time, there was a little redheaded girl named Lily Evans, and she lived in a cozy little Muggle house somewhere off in Redhill . . . "

Fifteen minutes later, Lily could be heard emitting a soft snore, and James was whispering the end of his story as he knelt beside her bed and stroked the side of her face. " . . . And they were the perfect couple, and loved each other very much, and when he asked her to marry him, she said yes. And they lived happily ever after." James gently placed a soft kiss on her temple. "I love you, Lily. Goodnight."

Finally standing up, James stretched and turned around. There was a figure in the window blocking what little light was coming through. James felt himself flush with embarrassment, knowing that Sirius was going to make fun of him for his heartfelt bedtime story. "Oi, Sirius, I told you to wait!"

"What a touching story, Potter."

This was not Sirius. In fact, this wasn't even a boy. Nonetheless, James suddenly felt rooted to the spot. His heart was pounding so fiercely, so loudly, that he was afraid it would wake Lily. However, there were more important things to worry about at the moment.

In one fluid movement, James stepped back to protect Lily's body, and withdrew his wand to stun his enemy. However, he was not fast enough. "_Stupefy_!"

The sound of James' body hitting the floor woke Lily with a start, and as she blinked groggily and absorbed her surroundings, a terrified scream escaped her mouth before she too was stunned. Then suddenly, Lily's door was flung open by her family, startled at the screaming and angry at being woken up. Lily's father was immediately stunned, but her mother managed to flee down the hallway, shrieking loud enough to wake the entire neighborhood.

More Death Eaters snaked into the dark room, one pursuing and stunning Lily's mother, the others taking the unconscious bodies of Lily and James.

"Is there anyone else?" the silky voice asked his counter parts as their quarry was emptied out of the room.

"No, I don't think so. Emma said when she got here, it was just the two of them," answered a female voice confidently.

"Excellent. Quickly, let's leave before the Muggles become suspicious," the male ordered.

"That Muggle woman had a set of pipes on her, all of Redhill should be awake," muttered another girl.

"Now!" barked their male companion. With haste, all of the Death Eaters left the room, confident that their actions would not be traced.

However, a few meters away was Sirius Black, perched in a tree like an owl, his face frozen with terror. Ice slowly drained from each one of his veins, his muscles, and from his heart, and it seemed like an eternity before he could move. The second he was free from the frozen chains, however, he snatched his broom from the ground and rocketed away into the night sky.

_Dumbledore—the Order—Hermione—You-Know-Who—_

_Quickly!_

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Note: **aaaaahhh so close to the end! Coming back to the write this story has actually been a blast, I'm so excited to write each chapter! Anyway, my beta is away so if you find any errors, please spare me! I can almost guarantee this story will be finished by the end of July!

Thank you **Faithful Wheezy **for pulling this story out of the mud, and my creative flow as well!

**Please review!**


	24. The Final Stand

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, though I would really enjoy doing so.

**Still So Close to You  
by darkwing731  
** -  
((-Chapter Twenty Five-))  
The Final Stand

_"Is there anyone else?" the silky voice asked his counter parts as their quarry was emptied out of the room._

_"No, I don't think so. Emma said when she got here, it was just the two of them," answered a female voice confidently._

_"Excellent. Quickly, let's leave before the Muggles become suspicious," the male ordered._

_"That Muggle woman had a set of pipes on her, all of Redhill should be awake," muttered another girl._

_"Now!" barked their male companion. With haste, all of the Death Eaters left the room, confident that their actions would not be traced._

_However, a few meters away was Sirius Black, perched in a tree like an owl, his face frozen with terror. Ice slowly drained from each one of his veins, his muscles, and from his heart, and it seemed like an eternity before he could move. The second he was free from the frozen chains, however, he snatched his broom from the ground and rocketed away into the night sky._

_Dumbledore—the Order—Hermione—You-Know-Who—_

_Quickly!_

As Sirius raced through the air, cutting the atmosphere like a knife on his broom, his mind was whirling faster than his broomstick.

_What do I do?_

_Who do I tell?_

_I thought Dumbledore put protective charms up!_

_Will they go after the others?_

_Are they hunting me down?_

_Will James and Lily be alright?_

Sirius touched down on Remus' roof, and, not bothering to be quiet, threw open Remus' window and jumped into his room. The couple in bed awoke with a start, Hermione shrieking with indignity and Remus growling threats for waking them.

"Sirius, get the hell out before I—"

"You didn't even bother to warn us, I'm not even wearing clothes, I feel like an idiot—"

"_They've taken Lily and James_!"

All anger was forgotten instantly; in a rush, Hermione and Remus were dressed, and the three of them were running through the house. Remus pounded on his mother's door while Sirius and Hermione quickly discussed who to alert, and where to Floo.

As soon as Remus and his mother ran down to the fire place, she spluttered that they should go to the Prewett's, as it was currently the unspoken meeting place of the Order and the Prewetts would be able to notify the entire Order quickly.

The foreign house was dark as they all tumbled through the green fire, but Rhea Lupin made sure the stillness was broken as she set about for the upstairs, yelling her head off. Soon enough, Fabian Prewett was rushed into the kitchen, his night robes still on. He quickly ran outside, summoning a Patronus to send to fellow members, before throwing Floo powder into the fireplace and getting down on his hands and knees.

It was an hour before everyone was assembled in the kitchen, Remus and Hermione squished together, Sirius beside them, as well as Peter, who had finally joined them. Everyone was scrambling for details about what happened, conversations flying across the room, behind hands, theories both possible and alarming.

"Quiet!" Dumbledore finally shouted, and at once, a hush fell upon the room. "It is essential that we remain calm, otherwise the potential to destroy this opportunity is great. Now, Sirius, please reiterate exactly what happened."

Sirius blanched at this request, not wanting to relive the memory. "W-Well, we had all gone to London that night. James, Lily and I flooed to James' house, and b-because it was so nice out, we decided to fly to Lily's, and also because Redhill wasn't that far." Sirius paused suddenly here, looking nervously to the ground.

"Go on, Sirius," Dumbledore encouraged gently. The occupants of the room seemed to hold its breath in anticipation.

"A-And James asked me to bugger off for a few, because he, err, wanted some alone time with Lily before we left. So I went across her yard and sat in a tree." Some of the Order gave him very strange looks for this. Sirius looked around, harassed. "I couldn't very well sit outside her window and listen to them do—"

"Continue on with what happened, please," Remus cut across him.

"For a while, nothing happened. And then I saw four figures appear at the end of the street, just outside the lamplight. I thought maybe they were Muggles, coming home as late as we were, but as they came closer . . . They were Death Eaters." A concerned murmur travelled the room, but Sirius pushed on. "I wanted to jump down and curse them all, but I thought, maybe, it would be foolish of me . . . Then one of them was up in Lily's window, and I heard them stun James. I wanted to fight them, I wanted to protect my friends, but I just—just froze."

"Sometimes fear conquers even the best of us, Sirius. Perhaps it is not so bad that you were struck with terror, because otherwise we would be bamboozled with this mystery," Dumbledore comforted.

"But if I had been able to move, I could've saved them!" Sirius cried despairingly.

"Or, you would have been stunned as well," Dumbledore countered quietly. "Please, go on."

"Then I heard Lily scream, but a second later they had stunned her as well. The rest of the Death Eaters went into her room as well, and I heard Lily's parents come in. One of them managed to escape, her mother I think, but only as far as the downstairs. Her parents were stunned as well. And then . . ."

The spiraling silence that met his paused urged him to continue.

"And then, they all disapparated. And they were gone."

_-x-x-x-_

Somewhere, far away, Lily was being shaken. Her head felt as if it was filled with cement, her eyes with sand, and her heavy body did not appreciate being shaken around like a doll.

"_Lily_!" someone hissed, shaking her even harder. She released an irritated groan, swatting at her attacker. "Lily, wake _up_!"

"No, no, go away," she grumbled. Her neck was becoming flossy thin like a dandelion, her head wobbling around uncontrollably.

"Now, Lily!" the person hissed again, and finally, she wrenched her body away from this person who insisted on shaking her.

"_What_!" she snarled at last, opening her eyes. In a matter of seconds though, fear and confusion replaced irritation. James was sitting before her, his eye black and his nose bloodied, holding very tightly onto her arms. "W-Where are we?"

It was dark, very dark. There seemed to be a gloomy weight that hung in the darkness, and Lily felt terrified. She reached forward, past James, and her hands met a cold, clammy wall. "We're in some sort of prison cell. And they've taken our wands."

"Who—"

"The Illimni," James interrupted gravely. "Or at least some of them. Hermione was right."

"Oh my god, oh my god . . ." Lily started panicking. "Are they going to kill us? How will we get out of here? _James, what are we going to do_!"

"Lily, calm down," James said in a tight voice. "If you go bonkers, that will _not_ ensure our safety." Lily started crying, and even though James felt terrible and guilty for her tears, he turned his eyes to the outside of their cell.

"I've been hearing people fight for a while now," James told her in a low voice, as her sniffling ceased. "Apparently, I'm not supposed to be here. I've already given them a tough time, as you can see—" Here, he pointed to his beaten face; "But it won't compare to what hell I'll give them when they come for you."

Just as he said that, there was a thunderous noise from upstairs, and a furious voice screaming. "_Get that Mudblood now_!" echoed down the hallway. Lily began to whimper again. James hushed her and began talking rapidly in a whisper.

"Listen: I'm going to lie here like I've passed out, and you must keep this Death Eater busy, because when he's least expecting it, I will attack him and we'll get out of here, okay?"

"N-No, I can't, please James," she stammered, beginning to cry again.

"This is our _only chance_, Lily," James hissed. Suddenly, he flattened himself on the ground, quite still. She sobbed in protest, but to the Death Eater approaching their cell, it seemed she was struck with fearful crying.

"Ah, shut it ya stupid Mudblood," growled the Death Eater. With the wand, he unlocked the cell and entered, approaching Lily; she shouted in terror, backing up as far as she could, desperate to keep herself as far away as she could.

"No, no, leave me alone!" she screamed, kicking at his hands as they moved to grab her.

"Ya ruddy bint, here! _Stupe—"_

But suddenly there was a tight constriction on the Death Eater's windpipe, so strong that it sucked all logic and reason from him; his face turned purple, and he slumped to the ground, unable to breathe, let alone finish his spell. James lifted off the mask and saw it was Avery.

James quickly began stripping the Death Eater of his cloak, mask, and wand, and putting them on himself.

"What are you doing?" Lily hissed.

Pulling the heavy robes over his head, he said, "If our friend here doesn't return soon, they'll be suspicious. I'm going to be him, and I'm going to bring you to them."

"No!" Lily cried. He grabbed her and kissed her fiercely.

"I won't let anything happen to you, alright? I promise. Now please, cooperate."

Reluctantly, and fearfully, Lily allowed James (now fully dressed as a Death Eater) to bring her out of the dank cellar prison after they had locked Avery in the cell. Coming into the light, James held Lily in a vice grip, and threw her onto the ground in front of the other Death Eaters who were waiting impatiently.

"Very good, Avery," one of them hissed. James could tell by the tone of his voice that this Death Eater was not of their age, but much older. "Now, leave us."

James hesitated for a tiny fraction; Lily stared up at James in terror, but to the other Death Eaters it did not seem unusual. "_Now_, Avery," snarled the elder Death Eater. Turning silently and walking out of the room, James panicked as soon as he was out of the room. But then, he had another problem entirely: the sitting room was full of other Death Eaters. Many of them had their masks off, and from the few he could see, they were all his age; in fact, he knew most of them.

Very few turned their attention to James when he entered, for clearly they had been expecting him back. The conversation that had been temporarily halted continued again; they were discussing the capture of James and Lily.

"Emma told me he was telling her bedtime story, it was revolting," Dolohov sneered.

"These blood traitors are nothing but trouble," agreed another with an air of contempt; it was Regular Black this time, and James felt his blood boil.

Suddenly, there was a pained scream from the other room; everyone's head snapped to the sound, but then resumed talking.

"I'm awfully jealous of the girls, though," said a female, one that James could not instantly identify, but he knew that she had gone to Hogwarts. "If I had known kissing Lucius' arse would have gotten me in high praises with the Dark Lord—"

"You and me both," said one of the LeStrange brothers. "He wouldn't even let us do anything!"

"He wants all the glory for himself, clearly," sneered a slimy voice, which belonged to Snape. "What I would give to be in the other room, torturing the Mudblood myself."

"I'd rather have a go at Potter, though," said Dolohov after a pensive moment. "As I'm sure you would, Snape. It would be much more fun putting him in his place."

"He'd be ten times harder to subdue, though," interjected the mystery girl again. This time, James could place her as Lorna Knox, one of the girls who had previously been expelled.

"Exactly," said Snape softly with a hint of a smirk on his face.

"Why is he here anyway?" inquired Lorna curiously. "I thought Emma's plan was just to take Evans."

James nearly broke his cover, for he was boiling with rage; _Emma had set them up!_

"Yes, well, they tripped up. The Dark Lord was furious. Didn't you hear Abraxas Malfoy screaming at them earlier?"

"What are they going to do with Potter, then?"

Lots of people volunteered answers for this question.

"They'll let him rot!"

"The Dark Lord will probably finish him off."

"If they were smart, they'd torture him instead of Evans."

"No, if they were _smarter_, they'd torture Evans in front of Potter. He's bonkers for her, haven't you noticed?"

James heart simply stopped at this suggestion, and he was glad to be wearing an elusive outfit, for otherwise they would have seen him blanch and tremble. He slowly sat down in a nearby chair, clutching the wooden arms as if he were in a plane, diving nose first out of the sky.

"You reckon they'll kill her?"

"Nah."

"Well they can't just up and give her back, now can they?"

"If they kill her, it won't be right away. Apparently she's got vital information."

James could not stand it any longer; with a deep, heavy breath, he pushed himself out of the chair and headed for a door.

"Where are you going?" someone barked at him.

"Loo," James grunted as best he could, before sliding out of the room as inconspicuously as he could.

As soon as he was alone, James slumped against a wall, thoughts racing. He had to get a wand. He had to get Lily. He had to get the hell out of there. _But where was he?_ Looking around, he tried to take in his surroundings as best he could. The floor was marble and shiny, the walls ornate and grand, the ceiling adorned with paintings one might find in the Sistine Chapel.

Then suddenly, it dawned on him. Impressive interior decorating, Death Eaters, and Lucius torturing his beloved . . . _He was in the Malfoy Manor_.

But what was he to do with this information? He certainly could Floo out, that would be too noisy, and the chances of finding an owl were little to none. Could he apparate out? Or did he need his own wand? Better yet, could he apparate into the room where Lily was being tortured, snag her, and apparate out of the building?

But suddenly, there was a long, terrible wail from the other room, and it seemed that Death's hand began to constrict James' heart. Then, there was a furious voice, screaming, "_WHERE IS HE?_"

James Potter was in trouble.

_-x-x-x-_

Three more days had gone by, with no word or sign of where James or Lily could be. Three more days that Hermione had to endure without her precious friends. One more days until Hermione was ripped off the face of the planet, just to be thrown carelessly into another time.

When Hermione had confronted Dumbledore about the protective charms, he agreed that he had cast them over Lily's house, but Emma was not recognized by the entire family as an enemy, and therefore could break through the charm since she had such a connection to the house.

That didn't make sense to Hermione, but then again, nothing was making sense to Hermione anymore. There wasn't enough time for anything to make sense.

Something that did make sense was that the Order of the Phoenix was creating a plan to rescue their friends. The adults were going over every known Death Eater, rapidly discussing which house would be most likely to host prisoners, many Death Eaters, and Lord Voldemort all at the same time.

The only thing wrong with this was that the remaining Marauders were being specifically left out, for fear that their worry would create a snag in the plan, and that their lives would be the first to be targeted whence the Order attacked. If only the senior members went to rescue them, it would be efficient, swift, and painless.

Regardless of how much sense _this_ made, Hermione had a knot in the pit of her stomach that remained through all hours of the day, and sometimes woke her at night. It did not allow her to eat, and did not permit her to sleep without the shadows of a nightmare. This knot would suddenly seize the entirety of her body, squeezing the air from her lungs and tears from her eyes.

On the early afternoon of July 7, Dumbledore announced to the Order that the most senior members would be investigating two places: The LeStrange Estate, and the Malfoy Manor. Both places were large and exquisite, very easily having four floors and an extensive cellar. And, more importantly, were the homes of some of the Dark Lords most trusted Death Eaters. The Order was to be starting with the LeStrange's first, because it was more than well known that Bellatrix and her husband worshipped the Dark Lord more enthusiastically than any other, almost obsessively, one could say.

"No, no, it doesn't make sense," Hermione moaned to Remus, her fingers trembling.

"But it does," Remus gently, and cautiously, countered. "Dumbledore highly believes they will be found there."

"But Malfoy—"

"This isn't school anymore, Hermione. Yes, Malfoy was a dangerous person who probably is bringing harm to our friends, but he's _our age_. There's no way You-Know-Who has already trusted him with something this important," Remus reasoned. Hermione shook her head, and closed her eyes.

Later that day, the senior Order members collected themselves in the kitchen of the Prewett household, double checking that their plans were straight and that they had everything they needed. Just before they left, Hermione pulled Dumbledore aside.

"Please, Professor," she begged him. "I know they aren't at the LeStrange's. They're at the Malfoys! I just . . . I just know."

"Miss Lewis, all I can say is this: no matter where they are, they will be safe soon."

_Yes, in fact, they do make it out of here alive. I know they do . . . in less than a year, James and Lily will be married and pregnant with Harry . . . the prophecy will have been made, and the catalyst will be set aflame._

_But I want them safe now. Here. With me. _

With reluctant eyes and a heart full of fear, Hermione stared imploringly at the Order as they left. The Prewett house was now quiet, the silence full of anxiety and anticipation. Hermione sat at the kitchen table, glaring a hole through a knot in the wood as her racing thoughts were laced with rage and indecision.

_I'm leaving soon. I can't let them stay there, trapped in cages._

_But you know they'll be freed, somehow. You know they'll be safe._

_I can't be content, standing around, wasting my last few precious moments without James and Lily. They mean everything to me._

_Why put myself in excessive, unnecessary danger?_

_Why let _them_ stay in excessive, unnecessary danger?_

Before Hermione knew what she was doing, she was halfway up the stairs and digging out her wand from her bag. She was not going to let her friends sit in a prison, stricken with terror and pain, unless she had fought her very hardest to free them, and had failed.

When Remus saw her march fiercely from her room, he knew something was wrong. He caught her by the elbow, and they quickly became immersed in hushed, angry whispers. It was not long before Sirius and Peter caught on, and out of curiosity, went to see what was causing the commotion.

"You can't honestly say you're actually considering just _going_ to the Malfoys and rescuing them?" Remus scoffed, stunned.

"You're telling me you're content with letting your friends waste away in a cell, tortured and terrified?" Hermione spat back.

"But Dumbledore said—" Sirius started, but Hermione interjected.

"I know, in the pit of my stomach, that they are at the Malfoy Manor," growled Hermione, her eyes glowing with determination. "I don't care what you lot do, but I'm going to them. I will not sit around and twiddle my thumbs."

"The Order has just left for them," Remus said quietly. "Why not give it time—"

"Because I don't have any time left, Remus!" Hermione shouted angrily. "I'm leaving within hours! I can't sit around and hope that they're all right!"

"How can you just _throw_ yourself into a pit of Death Eaters?" Remus roared back at her, suddenly unable to contain his emotions. "You're not thinking clearly! I don't care if you're leaving soon, you have to think about _now_, you can't just be foolish like that!"

Hermione turned a steely eye to her boyfriend, and was about to snarl at him, but Sirius said, very quietly, "I'll go with you."

Remus growled in frustration but Hermione stared at him, sizing him up, wondering if, for once, Sirius could be true to his name.

"And I," said Peter in a tiny voice. Hermione beamed at him.

"Are you willing to do exactly as I say?" Hermione asked the two boys who had just pledged their allegiance. As they nodded, she turned to Remus. "Well?"

"Well what?" he barked back. "Will I give myself over the clutches of the Dark Lord? No, I will not. And I will not let you do the same, Hermione. If you got hurt, or caught, or worse—"

"I'll be fine, trust me," Hermione snapped. She turned her back to him, and looked to Sirius and Peter. "Now listen, here's what we have to do . . ."

_-x-x-x-_

"Yes, well, we're to be expecting an attack any time now, so father had us split up between the houses," Lucius was drawling, an arm thrown casually over Narcissa's shoulder.

"Yes, I understand that, but I want to know why the Dark Lord isn't here," snapped Emma. "I think he should be here to admire how fine of a job we're doing."

"We're just holding these buffoons captive, it isn't the hardest wand work," Narcissa countered lightly. "We don't even have to do much, really. Just let them rot."

"Why would the Dark Lord waste his time here?" Lucius inquired, looking at his nails. "There are many more important things to be done."

"But even his most inner circle is absent from this mission!" Emma protested, looking distraught. "It's as if he doesn't even care anymore."

"Well, he probably doesn't," Rose muttered; she had been reading a magazine and had finally grown sick of Emma's whining. "It's good and all that we've accomplished this much, but this mission wasn't about winning anything. It was to prove that we could be reliable, and instill fear in our enemies."

"Then what are we to do if the Order actually does come? You can't honestly tell yourself they're just going to wait and see what happens!" Emma exclaimed.

"Calm yourself, woman," Lucius sneered. "My father is here, waiting in case of attack. Just as there are some from the inner circle placed nearby accordingly. The Order will not want to kill anyone; they just want their foolish new members back."

"Yes, well . . ."

The conversation carried on for a few more minutes like this, until suddenly, the fireplace towards the back of the room began to roar with angry green flames. For a few minutes, it blazed, empty and roaring, before someone finally stepped out. The few Death Eaters in the room jumped with a start, but were more shocked than surprised to see Peter Pettigrew emerge from the flames, his face ashen, but stoic.

Lucius, Narcissa, Rose, and Emma jumped to their feet, wands at the ready. For a moment, Peter said nothing, before he said, in a trembling voice, "I've come to join your forces."

Rose scoffed; "Please, Pettigrew. Do not think us to be such simpletons."

With great difficulty, Peter spoke again. "I want to protect my f-family."

"Or what's left of it," Emma said snidely. "Why choose a time like this to ask for protection? To switch sides?"

"I-I—"

"It's certainly not because his friends are being held captive," Lucius drawled sarcastically. "No, no, certainly not."

"Well, yes," Peter agreed in a squeak. "I offer myself in order to protect them."

The four young Death Eaters regarded Peter very carefully, scrutinizing his twitchy movements and his fearful eyes. Peter fidgeted, black eyes darting to and fro as the enemies before him cautiously decided his fate. Unbeknownst to them, Hermione Granger and Sirius Black were crawling behind them towards the door, hidden under the security of James' invisibility cloak. As Lucius began to interrogate Peter, Sirius and Hermione slipped out of the room silently, closing the drawing room door behind them.

"I can't believe that worked," Sirius hissed to Hermione, who nodded with wide eyes. Observing their surroundings carefully, Hermione looked around for what could lead them to a basement or prison.

"I don't even know where to begin," Hermione said anxiously.

"Most cellars can be accessed from the back of the house, especially in large estates like this. All of the Blacks have their floor plan set up that way, because only servants would be in the cellar," Sirius informed her. "Now, if this is the sitting room, and the front foyer is there, then we have to go _this_ way, if I'm not completely daft . . ."

Still under the invisibility cloak, Sirius led Hermione slowly through the hallway of the Manor; its walls were exquisite and beautiful, capturing not only an artist's touch, but certainly soul and mind as well. From what she could see, the rooms were perfectly decorated, giving off a hint of sophistication and wealth, but not excessive and unnecessary spending.

Soon, they reached the place Sirius had guessed where the prison might be, and Hermione was struck with two very strong emotions: the first was surprise, because Sirius was exactly right. The second was dread, because there was a man guarding the door. He had long, silvery blond hair and a sharp pointed face, with glistening grey eyes. At the tip of his nose, glasses were perched to help him read the book that was in his hand. A look of boredom was clearly displayed on his face, almost as if he felt that his position as security guard was too lowly for him.

Sirius and Hermione exchanged a worried look, searching each other silently for an idea. As Hermione was about to whisper that they should find an empty room and come up with a plan, the heavy clacking of feet began to echo down the hallway. Soon, Lucius appeared in the kitchen, looking annoyed.

"One of Potter's imbecile friends is here," Lucius snapped. Abraxas Malfoy looked up from his book, looking equally irritated. "I wasn't sure if I should just stun him and leave him, or bring him down there with the others."

"How did he get in, exactly?" asked Abraxas in a dangerously soft voice.

"They Flooed right into the sitting room. We've got him surrounded," Lucius said hastily. "But he hasn't attempted to even budge from the spot he's been standing in."

"But imagine if Dumbledore had just Flooed right in, Lucius," Abraxas snarled. "I thought I told you to seal up that fireplace!"

"Father, I left it open for Narcissa and the others to—"

"I don't give a damn about your girlfriend, Lucius!" Abraxas barked, and Lucius' pained face slackened immediately. "I don't care how trivial of a mission this is; the Dark Lord commanded we seal everything _completely._"

"Yes, father," Lucius said in a flat voice.

"I'm going to deal with this little rat myself," Abraxas muttered, pushing himself from the chair and folding his glasses up. "Foolish Gryffindors."

Lucius followed his father from the kitchen, and the moment their footsteps died, Hermione and Sirius made a break for the prison door. With a quick spell, Hermione unlocked the heavy looking wooden door, and the two of them fled down the stairs.

The cellar was pitch blank, and the smell of wet, rotting earth was pungent. It was also very silent, eerily so, and Hermione feared the worst before she lit up her wand. As she and Sirius turned in wide, hurried circles, searching for their friends, the bright light finally was cast upon two still bodies in one of the cells.

"Lily! James!" Hermione and Sirius hissed, snatching the rusty bars that held the prisoners in. Hermione's wandlight illuminated the couple who looked beaten and wounded, but otherwise alright. They did not look on the brink of death, but rather cold and sallow.

Lily's movements were sluggish, but she was moving much more than James, who had only smiled at them weakly. Lily touched his shoulder lovingly, sighing. "He wasn't supposed to be captured," Lily explained. "And he's been putting up a real fight. They have a field day. He's just worn out from, well, resisting."

"It doesn't matter, let's get you out of here," Sirius clipped, murmuring spells to undo the cell's doors.

"Remus," James croaked. Lily caught the heavy look that Sirius and Hermione shared.

"He protested us coming here. The Order is coming to save you, but they started with the wrong estate," Hermione explained flatly, joining Sirius in unlocking the doors, which were heavily enchanted.

"Why didn't you just wait yourself then?" Lily asked in a small voice.

"I don't have much time left, Lily," Hermione responded in a pained voice. "I can only leave knowing that I did everything I could to keep my friends safe. Watching the Order leave without us was . . . I couldn't just sit around and wait for them to return with you."

"When do you leave?" Lily asked Hermione as the prison door finally cracked open.

"What time is it, Sirius?"

"About seven o'clock."

"Five hours," Hermione responded brusquely.

This new information shocked the friends into a new silence, which they hastily covered up by hoisting James' body from the floor with great effort. He heaved in pain, but managed to cooperate with their movements rather than continue being dead weight. They began in the direction of the stairs, but as soon as they were halfway up it, a potential problem was discovered.

"How are we supposed to get out of here?" Lily hissed at Hermione, who looked to Sirius.

"Is there some kind of servant exit or something?" she asked desperately. "We can't just hoist James up the stairs and walk out the front door, it would be suicide—"

Suddenly, there was a loud roar that echoed down the hallway, followed by a tremendous banging noise. They could hear from the hallway outside of the kitchen that a fleet of thundering feet was coming from the sitting room, towards the kitchen. Lily, Sirius, and Hermione stopped dead, their hearts hammering with icy dread that seized control of their movements.

Then, Remus Lupin burst into the kitchen, looking determined and terrified. He spotted his friends coming up the stairs, and his eyes bulged with surprise. "Go somewhere else!" Hermione shouted at him; "We need to get James out of—"

"GET THAT DAMN WEREWOLF!"

A small throng of cloaked Death Eaters burst into the kitchen, sending Remus (who had been temporarily halted after the sight of his friends) sprawling onto the floor. Hermione, panicking, whipped out her wand as fast as she could, managing to close the door to the top of the stairs but not protect it. A moment later, the door was blown to smithereens, leaving nothing but the hinges.

Screaming, Hermione and Lily sprang back as a curse flew by their heads, falling halfway down the stairs while James body fell clean on top of them. Sirius managed to jump up, fighting the spells that were now being shot at them. But it was of no use; Sirius was only one against at least five, and countless others that could be called.

It was not long before all of them had been stunned and imprisoned again.

When Hermione finally woke, it was to the smell of musty earth that filled her nostrils, and the constant drip-drop of water, somewhere. Although the ground was cold and wet, she felt others beside her, rising as unsteadily as she had.

There was a pained groan somewhere off to her right, and the shuffle of moving bodies. Hermione searched her robes for her wand, but she knew that it would not be there. Struggling, she sat up and vainly began to rouse those who were closest to her. One by one, everyone began to wake. There was a weak hand that clutched her arm, but she knew from the touch that it was Remus. Lily, once again, was nursing James, and Sirius, by the sounds of it, was discovering his own wounds.

"What happened?" Sirius asked at last, still groggy.

"I couldn't sit around and wait any longer," Remus admitted quietly.

"So, you came just as illogically as we had," Hermione finished up; Remus gently squeezed her shoulder.

"I couldn't let you have all the fun."

"Peter?" James croaked.

"Off getting help, I hope," Hermione said grimly. "During all the commotion, there was more than enough time for him to escape as a rat."

"Dumbledore will be here soon, then," Lily said with more confidence than Hermione could have mustered.

There was a clattering from up above, and rough voices followed by footsteps. They could hear one Death Eater call to another, shouting that their prisoners had awakened. The prisoners held their breath, staring up at the clammy floor as if there was a window.

More footsteps. Suddenly, a terrible thought occurred to Hermione.

"What time is it, Sirius?" Hermione hissed, her heart fluttering.

"Erm . . . 11:50, by the looks of it," he answered after scrutinizing his watch.

"When—?"

"_Get that Mudblood up here_!"

"NO!" roared Remus, suddenly throwing himself on top of Hermione. "We can't let them take you! No! No!" But the door had opened, and an unnatural amount of light filled the prison cell that was hosting them all.

There was no noise, no movement, no anything anymore. Time seemed to freeze, and the only thing that existed was the terror that had gripped Hermione's heart with a vice grip. She watched, paralyzed with her own epiphany that her last moments would not be in the embrace of her lover, or with her friends, but by being tortured, one again, by the people she hated most.

Her friends were tossed aside with the flick of the Death Eaters wand, his icy hand enclosing on her motionless body just as easily as all of her friends had been cursed aside. As she was dragged, the feeble bodies of her friends cried out in protest, but they were cries that never reached her ears, but they were screams that would forever remain engraved in her memory.

And as she was finally dragged into the light, out of the prison, she began to understand that she would never see these beloved people again, and she had just allowed herself to be taken away from them without even a hand raised against it.

"No! NO!"

Suddenly, Hermione wrenched herself from the Death Eater's grasp and threw herself back down the stairs, injuring her body as she went, though she knew it was worth it. She blinked stars back from her vision as she clung to the bars with all of her might. Her friends were quick to latch themselves onto her as well, unwilling to let her go.

They were screaming in terror, but all Hermione could say was "I love you, _I love you_" to each one of her friends. Soon, her words became unintelligible as they were accompanied by sobs, and new screams as two Death Eaters dragged her all the way up the stairs, flinging her into the arms of fate.

"_Remus_!"

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Note:** AAAAAHHHH! I can't believe I just did that either, don't worry. Anyway, I think I am going to have only one or two, if necessary, chapters before the epilogue.

As always, thank you to **Faithful Wheezy**. And also thank you to my readers, whether new or old, that enjoy this story enough to watch it finally be completed.

**Please review!**


	25. Hermione's Return

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, just this lovely plotline and such.

**Note:** I know that in HPB, Draco mends the Vanishing Cabinet, but for my purposes, it is still broken.

**PS Note: **this is it. The chapter I have been itching to write for so LONG. Please, enjoy it as much as I do =)

**Still So Close to You  
by darkwing731  
****-**  
((-Chapter Twenty Six-))  
Hermione's Return

"_No! NO!"_

_Suddenly, Hermione wrenched herself from the Death Eater's grasp and threw herself back down the stairs, injuring her body as she went, though she knew it was worth it. She blinked stars back from her vision as she clung to the bars with all of her might. Her friends were quick to latch themselves onto her as well, unwilling to let her go._

_They were screaming in terror, but all Hermione could say was "I love you, I love you" to each one of her friends. Soon, her words became unintelligible as they were accompanied by sobs, and new screams as two Death Eaters dragged her all the way up the stairs, flinging her into the arms of fate._

"_Remus!"_

Tears blurred the vision of Death Eaters looming above her, sobs distorted the cruel words they said against her, and the breaking of her heart distracted her from the curses they chose to use on her.

Nothing mattered anymore. Not Voldemort, not the Malfoys, not the Order, not even the danger she was surely in. She had been dragged away from what made her heart whole, what delivered life and love into her body, what had made her complete in the world. The people she had been taken from would never, _ever_ be in her life again as wonderfully as they had moments before, and the devastating tragedy was too great to allow her to focus on the jeering Death Eaters above her.

"Get up, Mudblood," they growled at her. But Hermione was deaf to their harsh threats, for she was consumed with the loss that was to come in moments, the loss that she had been denying for several months in fear of this tragic heartbreak.

As they seized her by the elbow and dragged her up off the floor, Hermione's body began to take on a weightless sort of feeling. Through her tears, she saw a light, growing stronger and brighter with each pulse of her racing heart. It did not matter that the Death Eaters threw her against the nearest wall, it did not matter that their feet lashed out at her defenseless body. The light, blinding and yet terribly beautiful, washed everything unpleasant away.

Hermione looked up at the throng of Death Eaters around her, hearing nothing, but sensing an odd, echoing feeling that must have been their furious snarls at her disobedience. As the light began to consume her surroundings, and finally Hermione itself, she had a singular, fleeting thought.

_At least I will have Remus_. . .

_-x-x-x-_

Harry and Ron were sprinting as fast as they could to the Gryffindor Tower. Both hearts were racing in the chests of the Gryffindors, although one was from panic, and the other a dreadful fear. The two boys disregarded curious questions as to their odd behavior, and ignored offended looks from students and teachers as they sped through the corridors.

After what seemed to be an eternity of running, Harry and Ron finally made it to their dormitory, snatching the Marauder's Map from his trunk. The two boys, heaving for breath, ripped open the map, muttered the correct words, and began to search for Hermione's dot. It was a minute or two before either one of them spotted anything.

"Look!" Ron exclaimed. "She's leaving Lupin's classroom, and running . . . Harry, do you think she just left to _snitch_ on us?"

"No," Harry said in a low voice. "You heard her scream. That wasn't from any old spider or anything. Where is she going? Blimey, she's running fast." They watched in a curious silence as Hermione's dot fled across Hogwarts.

"Is she . . . going to Dumbledore's office?" Ron proposed.

"Yeah, I think so," Harry murmured, watching as Hermione's dot paused and then began to finish its path to the Headmaster's office.

"We should go wait for her," Ron decided. "I want to know what the bloody hell made her scream."

All the way down to the Headmaster's office, the two boys argued over what could have stricken their best with such terror. Ron argued that it probably was a spider, because Madam Pince would not have allowed anyone to attack her so loudly in the library. And, Harry added, if someone had attacked Hermione, she was powerful enough to set them right.

As they finally reached the stoic stone gargoyle, it was slowly opening for the departure of someone else. Harry, relieved to see Hermione at last, let out of a sigh of relief. Ron's heart simply skipped a beat. But any sort of comfort they felt was immediately stolen from them when they saw Hermione's face. The girl was as white as a sheet, trembling from head to toe, and Hermione's face was puffy with tears; she looked as if she was about to crumple at any given moment. She did not see them as she carefully and slowly descended the final steps.

"Hermione?" Harry asked tentatively. "Are you alright?"

The Head Girl looked up, and for a second, Hermione's face with the epitome of joy, of hope as she searched Harry's face. Then, just as quickly, the euphoria vanished, replaced by a forlorn look. She stopped at the final step, saying nothing, but staring into Harry's face, lip quivering.

"Hermione?" asked Ron, taking a careful step towards her. Her head snapped at the sound of his voice, and without further ado, she burst into tears and fled past them, her heaving sobs echoing through the corridor.

"W-What—?" Ron spluttered.

"Should we follow her?" Harry asked after a moment. Ron gave him a distraught look.

"Do _you_ want to deal with that? Because you know we aren't going to get anywhere with her crying like a banshee."

"That's true, I suppose . . ."

But the boys did check the map, and after making sure that Hermione was safely back in Gryffindor tower, they slowly made their way back to the tower as well, wondering what on earth had Hermione troubled so much.

_-x-x-x-_

There was nothing but blackness. Nothing at first, until blackness was accompanied by a painful throbbing in her head. Then, there was the pulsing ache throughout her arm, as it was twisted at a strange angle. Then, there came the realization that her body was cramped up, bent and stuffed into a small space.

With a pained groan, Hermione twisted around, pushing and pulling, until her hand unlatched something and she went tumbling out of her prison and into daylight. Rubbing her eyes, she blinked and saw that she was half sprawled out on the floor, while the other half of her was still in the Vanishing Cabinet.

Her bag and books were also splayed across the ground, and noting how much her body resisted, Hermione stood and collected her things. She tried to focus solely on how she felt physically, tried to repeat and reiterate all of the books that she had with her, tried to do anything to ignore the severe loss she had just undergone.

For she, Hermione Granger, had just lost the people most dear to her. Lily, with her flaming red hair and her sense of sisterly duty; James, with his mischievous ways and soft-sided demeanor; Sirius, his need for laughter, but his tremendous loyalty, and even Peter, wanting nothing more than for everyone to be happy and safe.

Remus Lupin was a different story: of all of her friends, she loved him the most, and was incredibly grateful that he could still be in her life. Of all her lost and now dead friends, he would be the anchor, the deciding factor that all of these precious memories were tangible and meaningful.

Without thinking, her feet brought her in the direction of Remus' office. With each step, her heart began to hammer, jumping up into her throat. Her stomach began to twist up uncomfortably, almost to the point that she was nauseous. But no matter how breathless or terrified she felt, she forced her fisted hand to rap quietly on the classroom door of Remus Lupin.

There was a noise of shuffling papers, footsteps, before the door opened and Hermione felt herself melt with relief. Remus stood before her, looking pleasantly at her. "Hermione!"

"Hi," she said sheepishly in return. "May I come in?"

"Certainly," he said, standing back to let her through. She put her things down on the nearest desk and turned to him, trying desperately to contain her overjoyed smile. Remus sat on the edge of his desk. He looked lined with age, weathered, with grey streaks in his hair. "What can I do for you?"

"Well," Hermione started, twisted her fingers anxiously, grinning. "I'm back. I didn't actually think I would ever be back here."

Remus gave her a strange look. "Back?" he repeated.

"Yes," she said, eyes narrowed with confused. "You know what I'm talking about, Remus."

Remus spluttered. "Hermione, I do not think we're on a personal enough level for you to call me that. I don't mean to sound so rude, but please, I am Professor Lupin to you."

"What?" Hermione whispered, her eyes suddenly wide.

Professor Lupin noticed the way Hermione's face suddenly drained of color. "Are you alright?"

_This can't be happening, this can't be happening . . ._

"D-Don't you remember? Don't you remember _us_?"

"Hermione, I don't understand," answered Lupin cautiously, noting how hysteria and panic was creeping onto Hermione's face.

"Y-You said you would never leave me . . . You s-said it wouldn't matter how old you were!" Hermione stuttered, reaching blinding for a chair as lovely memories flashed before her eyes: she and Remus, together in bed, holding one another closely; Remus whispering that he loved her; her and Remus holding hands and laughing; the first time they ever kissed, that cold night on Christmas.

Professor Lupin looked alarmed at her words, but nonetheless approached Hermione's trembling body cautiously. "Hermione, I don't know what you're talking about. Please, take a deep breath and calm down."

"_Jane Lewis_!" Hermione screamed at him, suddenly flinging herself out of the chair and grabbing fistfuls of hair in desperation. "A-And James and Lily and Sirius and Peter! And the Illimni! And Lucius Malfoy! _Why don't you remember anything_?"

Very slowly, as if examining every letter of his words, Lupin said, "All of those people were in my life at some point, I remember them. I don't understand what you're trying to say."

"_I was Jane Lewis_!" Hermione shouted, eyes brimming with tears of frustration, standing up.

Professor Lupin looked taken aback. "That is impossible, Hermione. How can you be someone who lived decades ago?"

"Because _you_ sent me back into the past! _Why are you doing this, Remus_!" she bawled as he shook his head, her body now succumbing to the tears of confusion she had been holding back. She dug around furiously in her bag, and once she found what she was looking for, she threw the Book of Mischief at Remus, who caught it, looking startled. "You put a Time Charm on the thirteenth page!"

As she said this, Professor Lupin was slowly flipping through the pages, imbibing all the information that he could, reliving the memories he and his friends had recorded. Then, he stopped at the thirteenth page and looked it over cautiously.

"This charm was invented to throw someone 19 _minutes_ into the past, Miss Granger," Lupin said quietly. "And it was James' idea to add a Delirium Charm onto it, so that the victim caught by this charm would end up hallucinating."

All the blood in her veins froze; her heart, which had been hammering with fear and confusion, simply stopped in her chest. "No," was all she could utter, although it was barely audible.

"I'm—I'm sorry," the Professor said, looking pained, but sincerely apologetic.

"It was _real_!" Hermione insisted. "I was there from December to July of your seventh year! I was best friends with Lily! And—And—"

"Please calm down!" the Professor urged, sensing that Hermione was on the brink of hysteria. She glared at him for suggesting such a thing; he beckoned to the chair next to her. "Sit. I will go fetch you some Calming Draught, I fortunately have some in my office."

After making sure Hermione did indeed sit, the Professor hastily went to his office. For the next several minutes, Hermione could do nothing but inhale jagged breaths and impatiently wipe away tears from her face as she desperately sought an answer that would prove this mystery. There was absolutely _no way_ that Remus could be telling the truth. The last several months of her life had been so vivid, so scarring, and so emotional, that being the result of a hallucination was preposterous.

She stared out the window, thinking desperately for a solution, noting subconsciously the beautiful sunset, and the silhouette of an owl that flew across it.

Then, the answer occurred to her.

Remus came out of his office, looking hurried and anxious, but holding a large goblet in his hands. He presented it to Hermione, who gave him a scathing look and refused the drink. By now, she had calmed herself down and was ready to fight him with cool logic.

"I know it was real. I know you're lying to me," she growled in a low voice. "It's because of what Pansy said, right before she left. You heard her as well as I did. But you promised to stand by me no matter your age."

"Hermione, I will always be here for you, just not in the way you believe!" the professor exclaimed, looking as if he wanted to reach out and comforting the wounded student in front of him. "I can be your mentor, and your friend, but I can _only_ be those things."

"You _promised_," Hermione repeated in a fierce whisper. "And so did Sirius, and Lily and James, and even Peter. I'm sure if they were alive, they would not pretend to be so blind."

"My friends are dead and gone," Remus said softly. "If they were alive, I'm sure they would have thought highly of their son's best friend."

"How can you do this to me?" Hermione croaked, her lip beginning to tremble. "You said—"

"I did not say anything," Remus interjected quietly. "Whatever happened in your hallucination, it was not—"

"_You told me you loved me! You told me you would never leave me_!"

"I'm sorry for whatever you think happened, Hermione," Remus murmured again. "But they were just dreams, and nothing else."

At this, Hermione threw herself out of the chair, knocking over the desk and spilling the Calming Draught. "Dumbledore will reveal you, Remus! He will not stand by and let you break my heart like this! Dumbledore will acknowledge what happened!" With that, she fled from Lupin's classroom, tears streaming down her face. Left alone in the spiraling silence, Remus simply buried his face in his hands.

She had never moved faster in all of her life, but every single one of Hermione's muscles screamed for proof that would allow her to be with Remus again. The stone gargoyle was bombarded with passwords, and when he finally began to move, he could not move fast enough for Hermione's urgent, fleeting footsteps. She pounded on Dumbledore's door, and was not sure which was louder: her furious knocking, or her hammering heart. Finally, Dumbledore's soft voice allowed her entrance, and she flung herself into his office.

"Professor—" she said breathlessly. She fell into a seat and panted, watching him fold away a letter than he had just been reading.

"How are you, Miss Granger? It seems you are out of breath," Dumbledore pointed out, rather redundantly, but she could not help but smile slightly.

"Yes, well, I've just run across the castle to get here, so you can imagine," Hermione said, before being introduced to a coughing fit. As she recovered, she said, "I've just arrived back from 1979, and I've come to deliver the letter."

"Excuse me?" Dumbledore asked politely. "I must have misheard you."

Hermione stared at the headmaster, stunned into a shocked silence. "No, you heard me right. I said I was back from 1979."

Dumbledore regarded her for a moment, and she felt as if she was being x-rayed by his blue eyes. "I do not quite understand, Miss Granger."

Gaping for a moment, Hermione rushed to ask, "Does the name Jane Lewis mean _anything_ to you?"

"Many years ago I had a student named Jane Lewis; she was a Gryffindor alongside Professor Lupin, in fact," Dumbledore answered, looking slightly confused but supplying her with the information nonetheless.

"That was _me_," Hermione stated. "_Me_. The Marauders sent me back in time, and . . . and _you_ gave me that name, Professor! And you told me to come deliver a letter to your past self as soon as I returned to my present time!"

"Miss Granger, did you, by any chance, read a small book called the Book of Mischief?"

"It sent me back in time!" Hermione cried, seizing her hair in frustration once more as her world began to crumble around her. "19 years! With Remus! And James, and Lily, and Sirius, and Peter!"

"Miss Granger, are you aware that the book held a Time Charm that was interwoven, quite badly, may I add, with a Delirium Charm?"

"_No_!" Hermione bellowed. "_That is not true_!"

_This can't be happening, this can't be happening_ . . .

"Professor Lupin's friends were quite mischievous in their day. The Book of Mischief was created to amuse them," Dumbledore continued gently, almost reluctantly through Hermione's mutterings of denial. "It was not, however, created to harm anyone."

"Well, it's too late for that," Hermione sniffed angrily. "Whatever it was that was in that book destroyed my heart, Professor. I had a life with them! I loved each and every one of them! And they all promised to care for me even if they were tremendously older. And the only one who can stick to that promise is Remus Lupin, and he denies me! He denies the past that happened! He denies ever loving me!"

"I am deeply sorry, Hermione," Dumbledore said in a quiet voice. Hermione clamped her eyes shut and chanted to herself that _this_ was the true delirium. Dumbledore, shuffling papers around on his desk, murmured, "It pains me to see that they have wounded you in some way, but it pains me more to see your heart broken."

Hermione looked up at the Headmaster, and saw that tears were trickling down his face and hitting the parchment he was holding in his hands. Then, he sighed, shaking his head. "Whatever loveliness you dreamt was _just_ a dream. I am very sorry."

Before she control herself, she was overwhelmed by tears of the devastating realization that the greatest moments of her life, that the most precious and incredible people she had ever met, sprang from a wonderful and terrible hallucination. Her love for Remus Lupin was null and void, although the mere thought of him brought forth a blossoming of happiness within her chest, now it was stained with the reality of the situation.

As she left, Hermione trembled with the knowledge that she would have to build her life anew, move on from the tragedy and loss that was Lily, James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus. She blanched with the thought of having to see her beloved every day, having to look into his eyes without seeing the mirrored love that was so often present.

The gargoyle that blocked the exit slowly spun to let her free; she stared at her feet, wanting nothing more than to disappear into oblivion so she could face her humiliation and pain alone. But then—

"Hermione?"

That voice. So familiar, so welcoming, so kind and loving. Hermione's heart leapt up in joy as she raised her eyes to stare at James Potter's face. As always, he looked concerned for Hermione's state of being, wanting nothing more than to help her feel better. She searched his face for some sort of answer, and her smile vanished as she noticed James' vividly green eyes.

"Are you alright?" asked James again. Those eyes were the blocks of cement that dragged her heart to the very bottom of the ocean. She continued to stare into James' face, hoping, _praying_, that he could blink and his eyes would be hazel once again, and Hermione could breathe a sigh of relief.

"Hermione?" asked another voice. Her head whipped around and looked into the face of Ron Weasley.

_Whatever loveliness you dreamt was just a dream . . ._

Hermione Granger, was, in fact, back in 1998. She burst into tears and fled past them, knowing that she could never begin to explain how the Book of Mischief had destroyed her life.

_-x-x-x-_

"Does _anyone_ know what's going on with Hermione?" Ginny asked Harry and Ron one day at breakfast. Hermione had not joined them, but then again, it was not a surprise; when Ginny had woken Hermione that morning, the Head Girl simply stared at her friend, as if searching for something, but then burst into tears.

"She's been acting strange since yesterday," Ron said through a mouthful of food. "The three of us were in the library, and we split up. And then we heard her scream, and then we couldn't find her. . ."

"We looked on the Map," Harry took over. "And she was running from Lupin's office, to Dumbledore's, and then when we met up with her, she just started crying and ran away."

"I hate it when she does that," Ginny muttered, selecting some bacon for her plate.

But this dreaded behavior did not just continue for days, it continued for weeks. During meals, Hermione would keep rather silent, staring only at her plate; during classes, she would work feverishly, throwing herself into the lesson (unless it was Defense Against the Dark Arts, in which she would always keep her head bowed); during any free time the four friends had, Hermione would whisk herself off the library, engrossing herself in work.

There was a day during Defense Against the Dark Arts in which Hermione stayed alone after class. When the students had finally filed out, Hermione ushered Harry and Ron to go on without her. Professor Lupin did his best to hide his discomfort of being alone with Hermione, and the girl sensed it.

"I just wanted to apologize for my behavior a few weeks ago," Hermione said quietly, staring at the floor. "I wasn't my right self. That Delirium Charm really had me convinced."

"Yes, I can understand that. It seemed you had just emerged from it. Often times, those who are affected by the Delirium Charm do not have their wits about them for quite some time, for it is quite powerful if correctly applied," Professor Lupin said.

"I can certainly agree with that," Hermione said with a small smile, trying desperately not to look into the professor's face.

"And I have noticed that you've been . . . not yourself for the past few weeks," the professor pointed out. "You have to use every ounce of your being to go back to your normal life, Hermione."

"Yes, but it's just . . . it was so lovely, where I was in 1979," Hermione whispered, almost pleadingly, as if she wanted him to understand how desperately she missed it. "I have never been so close to anyone in my life than I was with the people from back—my delirium, I suppose . . ."

"You _must_ move on, Hermione," Lupin urged her. "Harry and Ron are certainly equivalents to these people you thought you had befriended. And Ginny Weasley certainly equates to how I imagine Lily must have been."

"She was," Hermione said with a nostalgic smile. "And Harry and Ron are just as wonderful as James and Sirius, it's just . . . I had a life with them, and you, and Lily. And I am still rooted to them, in the past. Everywhere I look, it's a constant reminder of losing them." Hermione paused, and looked up to the professor, almost reluctantly. "And you."

Carefully, Professor Lupin put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You must use the resources around you to achieve happiness. Take them into your life as completely and wholly as you can, so that your mind latches itself onto this reality. Do everything you can, and hold nothing back."

It was gentle words like these that touched Hermione's heart and caused memories to rush into her mind. The kind professor standing before her, a sympathetic look adorning his face, was just the Remus Lupin she had fallen in love with. She looked up, meeting his eyes, and for the very first time since she had arrived back, she felt the startling but undeniable connection between them, the blazing passion that had accompanied them on many nights together, but had always been present between them in the past.

Remus, with her hand on her shoulder, was very close. Hermione could feel the space begging to be closed, like two magnets pulled apart. Her breath was caught in her chest, and all control was lost in his eyes. Her heart racing, hammering in her throat, she did not think as she leaned in towards her professor, eyes locked on his.

Their lips met for a fraction of a second, but it was that moment that set her body aflame with desire and desperate want to find a Time Turner. Behind her closed eyes, she relived the first night that they became one, intertwined by love and passion.

It was also a fraction of a second later that Lupin gently pushed Hermione away.

"I'm sorry," he croaked, still inches from her face. She could feel his breath on her lips, and again wanted nothing more than to close the gap between them. "You have to leave."

He stared down at Hermione for a second, seemingly torn between his words and what had just happened. With just the same intensity, he pulled away from Hermione, hurrying away into his office. Hermione stood stock still, her body still on fire with the vivid dreams and memories that swirled within her.

As she stood there in the terrible silence, eyes closed against the reality of Professor Lupin's empty classroom, she basked in the clearest and poignant memory of all.

_"I love you, Hermione. I don't care how the future turns out, you will always be the only one I love," Remus whispered to her. _

But as Dumbledore had said, even the loveliest of her dreams . . . were just dreams.

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Note:** well my heart was racing as I wrote this! Anyway, I've already got a huge chunk of the next chapter done, and I would say three chapters left. Or around there, anyway.

Thank you forever and always to **Faithful Wheezy**, without whom Hermione's future would forever be undecided!

**Please review!**


	26. The Epiphany

**Disclaimer:** don't own it, just use it.

**Note:** next chapter is either second to last, or last! THIS IS SO EXCITING.

**Still So Close to You  
by darkwing731  
**-  
((-Chapter Twenty Seven-))  
The Epiphany

_He stared down at Hermione for a second, seemingly torn between his words and what had just happened. With just the same intensity, he pulled away from Hermione, hurrying away into his office. Hermione stood stock still, her body still on fire with the vivid dreams and memories that swirled within her._

_As she stood there in the terrible silence, eyes closed against the reality of Professor Lupin's empty classroom, she basked in the clearest and poignant memory of all._

_"I love you, Hermione. I don't care how the future turns out, you will always be the only one I love," Remus whispered to her. _

_But as Dumbledore had said, even the loveliest of her dreams . . . were just dreams._

Her hopes crushed, and her heart truly broken, the Head Girl left the classroom of the one man she knew she would love forever, trying to fight back tears. The moment she stepped out of the room, she discovered and startled an eavesdropping Ginny Weasley.

"Ginny!" Hermione cried, shutting the door quickly behind her, feeling panicked of what her friend could have just learned. "I can't _believe_ you—"

"So this is what's been making you bonkers lately?" Ginny inquired, looking genuinely interested. Hermione shot her a pained and annoyed look, before brushing past her and hurrying up the hall, now wanting nothing more than to fling herself onto her bed and cry.

Ginny kept up, striding next to her. "You know I won't stop pestering you until I get an answer."

"Leave me alone!" Hermione snapped.

"No, I will not leave you alone! Is this problem legitimate? Did you _really_ go back in time?" Ginny questioned, setting closer to her friend.

Hermione stopped in her tracks and glared at her redheaded friend. "Stop it, Ginny. Leave it alone." _Leave it alone or I will break down again._

"And you had a thing with Lupin, didn't you?"

"STOP IT!" Hermione bellowed, her face now finally crinkling beneath the weight of her sadness. "You have no right to just—to just—"

"Try and help a friend who's desperately in need of help?" Ginny finished quietly. "Don't think I haven't noticed. Don't think that Ron and Harry haven't either. You haven't been yourself for the last few weeks, and you run off all the time to go cry!"

"You don't understand," Hermione hiccupped, before turning and fleeing past Ginny determinedly.

"Try me!" Ginny shouted angrily. "Why won't you ever let anyone help you?"

"Because! I have to do this on my own!" Hermione cried, whipping around to face her.

"You're just like Harry, with the whole superiority complex. We're all human, Hermione! We all have emotions! Just _tell me_."

And suddenly, instead of the infuriated retort that was ready to be spat, everything came pouring out of Hermione's mouth, like a dam that had been slowly leaking, augmenting cracks before the whole thing finally crumbled under the pressure. Hermione's rant began angrily and with power, but as she relived every moment of those seven months, she began to collapse.

" . . . . Now _no one _believes me! I didn't exist! The whole thing was just a . . . just a stupid Delirium Charm!" Hermione sobbed, having already slumped against the wall. "And I went and kissed Lupin and now he thinks—he thinks—" Ginny rubbed her back in small, comforting circles, and allowed the silence to embrace them, only dotted by Hermione's soft cries.

Then, Ginny asked, "Was he good in bed?" This prompted Hermione to start laughing, quietly at first, her sobs accompanied by chortles, before she fell victim to a fit of mirth encouraged by Ginny's genuine question.

"You have no sympathy, Ginny," Hermione said after a few minutes, though she was laughing.

"That might be true, but I do have one thing," Ginny informed her friend. "Answers."

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked her.

"I have the answer to solve your heartbreak. You . . . need to snog my brother."

Hermione expected herself to scream in indignation at this piece of advice, but she considered it.

"I'm not even over Remus yet, how can I go and lead Ron on like that?" Hermione pointed out, wiping away a few stray tears.

"Just snog him, and stay with him. And let him snog you, and let him act like the buffoon he is; and then, my friend, you will be alright," Ginny assured her.

"I don't think—"

"Shhhh," Ginny interjected. "Trust me."

And so, she trusted. Hermione trusted everything that Ginny told her, for she felt that in order to fall back into the rhythm of this reality, she had to go blindly where she knew she could. And Ginny allowed her to walk blindfolded into a new life, without judgment and fear.

Sometimes, Ginny and Hermione would talk about Hermione's delirium; at first, their discussions always ended in tears, but then slowly, they were filled with laughter and peace. Ginny could not believe half of the terrible things Hermione iterated about Lucius Malfoy, or the powerful Illimni that stood beside him. Ginny's favorite stories were, predictably, those about Lily and James.

"You still fancy Harry, don't you?" Hermione whispered to her redheaded friend one day at the library.

Ginny flushed, swatting an impatient hand at her friend. "Ron first, then Harry. One relationship at a time!"

Then, Christmas was upon them, just as fast as the first snow had come. Ron and Ginny were staying for the holidays, which gave Ginny an extraordinary idea, seeing as Hermione was also staying. On Christmas Eve, there were sprigs of mistletoe hung everywhere. Many couples took advantage of this, much to the disgust of the younger students. Hermione felt flustered and pressured by all of the romantic plans, but when she confessed this to Ginny, the youngest Weasley told her it was all part of the plan.

"Blimey, Harry, why are all these girls throwing themselves at you lately?" Ron asked Harry through a mouthful of plum pudding that night at the feast.

Harry shot an embarrassed, furtive look at Ginny, before shrugging. "All this damn mistletoe, I guess."

Dinner went by reasonably well, for it had been within the last week, after Ginny's interference, that Hermione was beginning to return to her normal self again. She helped Harry with his homework, nagged Ron for his rude jokes, and began to give in to Ginny's gossip.

After dinner, when music filled the Gryffindor common room, and those who were staying began to have more fun than McGonagall would have permitted, Ginny pulled Harry aside, away from the crowd and to a secluded corner.

Ginny beckoned for him to come closer, and they bent their necks to talk. "I need your help with someone," Ginny whispered. "I'm trying to get Hermione to snog Ron, but I don't think she's going to go through with it."

"About bloody time," Harry whispered back, scanning the room for his two friends. Ron was talking with Seamus and Dean fervently about something, perhaps Quidditch, while Hermione was being lectured by Pavarti Patil about not styling her hair.

"There's mistletoe everywhere, but they've both been avoiding it," Ginny informed him, her face still close to his.

"So, we'll have to . . . ?"

"Push them together, of course!" Ginny said, giving him a smug look.

"That sounds, erm, not exactly promising," Harry began doubtfully, but Ginny cut across him.

"Do you have a better plan?"

"No, I suppose not. . ."

"Then you get Ron, and I'll get Hermione. I'll signal to you so you know when," Ginny decided, smiling deviously.

But just as Harry had predicted, getting Ron and Hermione to cooperative without exactly asking them to cooperate was a bit difficult. Ginny had cut into Pavarti's lecturing and had tried to guide Hermione over into a corner where mistletoe essentially dominated the ceiling, and Harry had tried to do the same. All was going well until Hermione chose to yawn and look up.

"Ginny, no!" Hermione cried, suddenly stepping out from under the mistletoe. "I can't just—just go and do it like that!"

"But you'll never go through with it then!" Ginny moaned, stamping her foot angrily. "Please, won't you just—"

"No!" Hermione snapped, and turned on her heel.

Unlike Hermione, Ron just didn't know what was going on. Harry had subtly tried leading him over to the mistletoe, but Ron didn't get the hint that he was supposed to follow Harry as he inched away. The quick row between Hermione and Ginny caught his attention.

As Ron watched Hermione storm from the common room, he turned to Harry. "What do you reckon set her off this time?"

"No idea," Harry muttered. Then, he had an idea. "You should go see if she's okay though."

"No way!" Ron exclaimed. "And get my head bitten off?"

"Just do it, Ron," Harry said, turning Ron around and giving him a great shove in the direction of Hermione's departure. "Trust me."

_-x-x-x-_

It was little things like this that set Hermione off; Ginny trying to set her up with Ron reminded her inexplicably of Lily trying to play matchmaker, when Remus wanted to be involved, and even when he didn't.

Hermione paced back and forth across the entrance to the common room, trying to calm herself down and trying to ignore the loud music from inside. Ginny's trick, without meaning to, sent her over the edge, and Hermione was trying to do everything she could to quell her tears.

But how could she? How could she betray the last seven months of her life that she had dedicated solely to Remus Lupin? How could she just go and kiss Ron and forget all about Remus? Remus, who would forever remain in her memory, would forever haunt each beat of her heart, shadow every action and every thought, could not just be pushed aside like that.

She was brushing aside tears when the portrait opened and Ron Weasley stepped out, looking nervous but genuinely concerned. Hermione shot him a small smile before turning her back to him and sniffling.

"You okay?" Ron asked from behind her. She imagined him slouching, with his hands in his pockets, looking uncomfortable; the image tugged a smile onto her lips.

"Yeah," she answered, but her voice cracked, revealing her. His concerned hand on her shoulder made her turn around.

"Why are you crying?" he asked her tentatively.

Silently mouthing words for a moment, she finally said, "I'm upset."

Then, Ron launched into an explanation of the many reasons why she should not be upset, but in fact, very happy. They were reasons that included the spectacular Christmas Feast, the party that was blossoming in the common room, and all the parcels she would receive Christmas morning.

In the middle of his rant, a very curious expression began to appear on Hermione's face, and although Ron wanted to stop and ask her what was wrong, he continued on. "—And the Chudley Cannons are surely going to win this year, so that's something to be pleased about. Oh, and my mum will send you another sweater and treacle tart, which should be lovely. And don't forget—"

But Ron was suddenly interrupted as Hermione flung her arms around Ron's neck and kissed him full on the mouth.

Quick taken aback, Ron stood rooted to the spot, dumbfounded as Hermione kissed him. When she pulled back, they simply stared at one another, without another word. Hermione blinked, and after a few more moments when Ron's shocked expression did not fade, she sighed and walked away.

_Lot of ruddy help that was_, Hermione thought to herself. Addressing the portrait, she started to say "Godric Gryff—" but was interjected by Ron seizing her elbow and pulling Hermione flush up against him.

It was she, this time, that stood rooted to the spot with shock. Ron had a tight arm behind her back, one tangled up in her wild hair, kissing her just as passionately as Remus had kissed her on that certain Christmas. It was this thought that made Hermione's heart stop for a moment, but was also the impetus for her to close her eyes and snake her arms around the tall, gingery boy, trying to use this opportunity for all it was worth.

_-x-x-x-_

"Did you see them?"

"Are they holding hands?"

"I heard they were snogging all Christmas Eve."

"You're joking!"

"Finally."

The gossip about Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley made the Head Girl blush a deep shade of scarlet. Her actions, very unlike her, had caused quite a stir among her friends. Ginny had been giving her snide looks all week, and Harry could frequently be seen clapping his friend on the back in congratulations.

Although Hermione felt quite guilty about it, she let Ron kiss her whenever he liked, and she allowed herself to hold hands with him. She did not stop him when he wove an arm around her waist, or frown upon his hand on her knee. All of these things were permitted because Remus Lupin had once advised her to take these people into her life as completely and wholly as she could, so that her mind would latch itself onto the true reality. And that was exactly what she had been doing.

A few weeks had gone by, and Hermione had sort of settled into a rhythm with her life, and with Ron. However, as much as Hermione tried to disguise it, her actions deviated from a rhythm and not from a natural order. It was not long into February that Ginny, who had been scrutinizing Hermione's actions, spoke up.

"How's Ron?" Ginny asked innocently during a study session in the library.

"Fine," Hermione said absently, her mind focused on her quill and parchment.

"How's . . . other stuff?"

"Fine."

"Your parents?"

"Fine."

"And your school work?"

"_Fine_, Ginny."

"How about Lupin?"

Unlike many of the other words, this particular word struck Hermione right in the heart. There was a pregnant pause before Hermione whispered, "Fine." But all was not fine.

"Because, you know, I was thinking about something. You said Pansy Parkinson showed up in that time, right?" Ginny asked, causing some painful memories to surface in Hermione's brain.

"Don't," Hermione snapped, trying to turn her attention fully to her assignment.

"Well, I was thinking we could have a girl's night with her," Ginny began slowly, and then grinned at Hermione's disgusted look. "Us three . . . and some Veritaserum."

"Ginny, _no_," Hermione hissed, looking around to make sure no one had heard Ginny's terrible idea.

"Why not?"

"Why not? _Why not_? Only because we can get into loads of trouble, Veritaserum has to mature for an entire full lunar cycle, and I do think that Snape will be suspicious if something were to go missing in his cabinet. _And_ because we'd be doing it all for nothing. _It was just a dream_," Hermione growled, emphasizing each word as if the severity would convince Ginny to believe her, and to back off.

However, it did neither. Ginny inspected her nails, and said offhandedly, "You still love Lupin."

Gaping like a fish for a moment, Hermione turned scarlet before she began to sputter retorts, but Ginny would have none of it.

"I see it every morning during breakfast. Ron comes and gives you a kiss and you look at Lupin as though you expected him to get up and start a row. And after every Defense Against the Dark Arts class, you walk out of that room looking flustered and upset. And I wait outside everyday to walk with Harry, so don't try to fool me," Ginny threatened, shaking a finger at her friend.

"It could never happen, Ginny!" Hermione cried. "Even if I do, even if it wasn't a dream . . . it doesn't matter. How could I be with him?"

"It doesn't matter! How _couldn't_ you be with him? You love him enough that it's tearing you apart . . . I'm beginning to think that Harry senses something is wrong as well. You have to understand, Hermione," Ginny started, crossing her arms with a huff. "You've fancied my brother for years now. And since you've started dating, you should be head over heels. But you're not. Your heart isn't with Ron. I can see it, you can see it, and others are beginning to see it."

"Ginny . . ."

"If you don't find out now, Hermione, you will regret it for the rest of your life."

Hermione looked as though her insides were being twisted up. At the fleeting thought of Remus kissing her, murmuring his undying love for her, tears welled up in her eyes, and she shook her head to Ginny's request.

For she had already done things that she would regret for the rest of her life.

_-x-x-x-_

It was now March, and when it was not grey and drizzling outside of the castle, fierce winds took it upon themselves to plague every student that stepped onto the grounds. And even on the occasional day, the sun was allowed a few moments to extend its ray beyond the utmost layer of the atmosphere.

This sort of weather perfectly reflected the life of Hermione Granger. When she was not bombarded by essays, books, rows with Ron, or other such things, the days of her life simply just flew by without letting her have any sort of handle on them. There were some days when she managed not to think about Remus Lupin, but those days were still few. There were even fewer days that passed in which she did not think about her time in 1979, but those were rare. But every now and then, a stroke of luck would possess Hermione Granger and she would be freed from the burden on her memories.

"Quidditch practice today," Ron was informing his friends at the table.

Hermione, reading the _Daily Prophet _with a frown upon her face, muttered, "That's nice."

"We're missing a Chaser today," Harry said to Ron over his goblet of pumpkin juice. "Katie's recovering from a jinx, I heard."

"I can fill in for her, Harry," Ginny offered with a bright smile. "You know I'm just as good as Katie." Harry smiled warmly back at her and was about to accept her offer, but—

"We can do without one Chaser for today," Ron grunted, observing the exchange between Harry and his sister.

"Ron, please," Ginny reproached with an obvious scowl. "Harry's captain, let him decide."

"I think it wouldn't _hurt_," Harry pointed out, but looked uneasy with the glare Ron was giving him. "Hermione, please reason with him."

"What?" The girl looked up from her newspaper, and quickly glanced at her three friends: Harry looked torn, Ginny looked upset, and Ron looked furious.

Looking back down at her paper, Hermione said flatly, "Ron, let Ginny do what she wants. She's a big girl."

"Yeah but maybe I don't want her messing around with—messing up the Quidditch team!" Ron snapped.

"I can make my own decisions!" Ginny cried, looking furious.

"I said _no_!" Ron shouted back.

"Guys, come on . . ." But Harry was lost in the new shouting match between brother and sister.

Hermione, half listening to their conversation, was engrossed in the outrage that Rita Skeeter had managed to get out into the Wizarding World through the _Daily Prophet_. It was terrible that the woman had people fooled and entranced enough to read her filthy editorials, but it was atrocious that she managed to have them printed in such a significant newspaper.

"—And you can't control me just like you can't control her! Right Hermione?"

"Yes, Lily," Hermione agreed absently, flipping over the page just so she could continue to shake her head at Rita's article.

"What did you just call her?" It was not the words that captured Hermione's attention, but the tone of voice. Harry sounded delusional but yet furious, confused and yet inexplicably mad.

Their faces displayed shock and confusion, but none were as confused as Hermione. "What did I say—?" But Hermione stopped dead, and her words hit her like a train. _Yes, Lily. _

Hermione clapped a hand into her mouth, almost as if to take back the words she had said; then, as swiftly as her terrible epiphany, she fled from the Great Hall.

It had been several months since Hermione had returned from her delirium, but each day the belief that these memories were real became stronger and unavoidable. An example of this had been displayed in the Great Hall, as had a number of near slip ups. She spent many hours longing for time with her past friends, and would quite often begin to call Harry by his father's name, James. Many a time, Hermione would be caught in a fond memory, and would turn around expecting to see her friends by her side.

But none of it was real. None of it could ever be real.

_But I checked out a book on the Delirium Charm_, Hermione argued with herself fiercely, as if trying to prove her insanity to be true. _The total effects of the Delirium Charm should wear off in a week, at the longest. It's been months. Something isn't right here._

It was harder and harder everyday to pretend that she was in love with Ron, that Lupin was just another teacher, and that the people she longed for were not dead and gone, but right beside her. Everyday Hermione allowed herself to be the victim of deception, of pure insidiousness, as these memories carved their marks on the cavern of her mind. They were beautiful and powerful memories, ones that could never be dreamt up . . . or forgotten.

Tears streaming down her face, Hermione heading for Moaning Myrtle's lavatory where she knew a moment's rest would be waiting for her. Regardless of her memories or sanity, she had her safe house. Choosing a stall and ignoring Myrtle's contemptuous remarks, Hermione whipped her stray tears away and began to search for her diary in her bag.

Touching the corners of books, scrolls, and quills, Hermione's turbulent mind went blank for a moment as the sensitive tips of her fingers brushed up against something foreign. It was silky and cool beneath her fingertips, and although Hermione peered into the darkness of her bag (a few tears dripping in) she could not see this object.

Seconds later, the entire contents of her school bag lay on the floor, absorbing water and rolling into puddles. None of this mattered, however, because the one truly valuable object was sitting atop this quandary of school supplies.

It was a necklace.

The silvery chain flowed like water beneath her fingers as she picked it up with trembling fingers. On the chain was a pendant that showcased a diamond engraved teardrop with a small ruby in the middle. The chain was normal, a chain you could find around any girl's neck, but it was strong. As the chain neared the pendent, it turned into a little vine with ivy leaves, tiny words embedded that she could not read.

Quickly grabbing a jar of frog's eyes from her bag that she used in Potions, she used the capped flask as a magnifying glass, nearly dropping it due to her quivering hand. As she squinted and muttered words that were clouded by frog's eyes, she made out a single sentence that had forever been on the necklace.

_No matter the pain we go through, I will always be still so close to you_.

And then, Hermione remembered. . .

_With a tentative look at her, he reached inside his pocket and withdrew a small box, covered in black velvet. It was long and rectangular, and he held it out to her. "Happy Christmas, Jane," he whispered, looking her in the eyes. Surprised, Hermione reached out to take it, and their fingers brushed. His gazed was steady and intense, but he felt a certain nervousness creep over him. . . Her mouth dry, and her words lost in the knot that were her vocal cords, she tentatively opened the velvet box and gazed, open-mouthed and amazed, at the gift it held . . . _

_Hermione cautiously reached out to touch the silver; it stung fiercely in the cold winter night. Sliding over her skin like water, it felt innocent and extravagant. She lifted the pendent from the bottom of the box and held it in her hand; it felt like a dew drop on a misty summer morning, absent of the cicadas' lullaby._

When Hermione's eyes flickered open, she was not surprised to feel the rivulets of tears streaming down her face. Beautiful and monstrous memories such as this made her heart skip in ecstasy, but simultaneously ripped holes in the very fiber of her being because she knew dwelling on this uncertain past was not only foolish, but mentally dangerous.

She savored the memory of their first kiss that night as she ran the sleek silver necklace between her fingers. Hiccupping, she reached around and fastened the jewelry around her own neck, wanting nothing more for her hands to belong to someone else, someone else who would, after in indecisive moment, kiss her just as he did that cold Christmas night.

The bathroom echoed with quiet sobs as Hermione collected her things and began to leave. This necklace represented thousands of beautiful and wonderful things, but also represented one terrible and condemning fate: her relationship with Remus was completely and undeniably real, but it was a relationship that could never go on, could never prosper, and would inevitably die within her.

It was within this epiphany that Hermione knew her future would be free from Remus Lupin, even if she desperately ached to be with him. Accusing him of lying would do her no good, because having him admit to her allegations would prove to be useless.

They could not, and would not, be together ever again.

Quelling a fresh bout of tears that threatened to overcome her, Hermione pressed a hand over her heart and told herself to calm down, and to move on. Her fingers brushed over the necklace Remus had given her, and she smiled humorlessly at its engraved irony.

_No matter the pain we go through, I will always be still so close to you_.

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Note:** yeah I did that. Sorry. Hope you enjoyed it =)

My regards, once again, go to **Faithful Wheezy** and to all those readers who keep coming back!

**Thank you! Please review!**


	27. Moving On

**Disclaimer:** I do not own this wonderful series. Sad.

**Note:** I am painfully aware of everything that has happened in Deathly Hallows, and this chapter does and does not comply with it.

**PS note:** this isn't the last chapter, I lied.

**Still So Close to You  
by darkwing731**

((-Chapter Twenty Eight-))  
Moving On

_**Three years later . . .**_

"Harry, you can't just plunge headfirst into the middle of Knocturn Alley," Hermione hissed as she swiftly stuffed items into her shoulder bag, which had been enlarged to carry anything weightlessly. "You need to sit and think this through first. If Dumbledore gets a whiff of this—"

"He gave me this idea," Harry snapped, digging through his own trunk, searching desperately for his Invisibility Cloak. "Where's my-?"

"I have it," Hermione answered. "I packed a number of your things already. In fact, you should just everything to me. You as well, Ron."

"Haven't got much to give you, Hermione," Ron responded. "I've got my wand. Harry's got all the cool stuff."

"It doesn't matter about the cool stuff!" Hermione cried, whipping around to face them. "We need _anything_ that will help us. Tonks got slashed last week, we have to avoid something like that by every means possible!"

"Relax, Hermione," Ron said calmly.

"_No I will not relax_!" Hermione snarled, puncturing the air with her words. "If we're really going to do this, then the last thing I'm going to do is _relax_!"

"Listen," Harry urged, sensing how anxious Hermione was. "We'll be alright. We're starting small for a reason."

"Well we still can't relax because then each and every step will be lacking the precision we need, _Ronald_," she reminded Harry, but spitting her last words at Ron. Her boyfriend grumbled something under his breath, shooting Hermione a dirty look, but did not rise to fight her.

"Don't worry. I won't let something like that happen," Harry promised gently. Hermione heaved a great sigh, doubtfully searching Harry's face, before turning back to her bag.

"Mrs. Weasley is already furious with us," Hermione informed Harry, her back turned to him as she stuffed things in her bag. "She can't seem to accept us being able to fight."

"Yeah well, she's not going to like it when we leave, either," Ron inserted absently, now looking through a Quidditch magazine.

"If all goes right, she'll be happy to have us back, though," Harry reminded his friend. "I don't see any reason why we should be gone longer than a few days. We've got Knocturn Alley, the-"

"I'm getting the vibe that you think these Death Eaters are imbeciles," Hermione interrupted, her voice creeping with a contemptuous tone. "The most bottom circle, yes, but where we're going, not at all. They're waiting for us." With these words, Hermione turned around and glared at Harry. "It's not going to be just a few days. There will be many more obstacles to overcome."

"Don't be such a downer, Hermione," Ron sighed, flipping another page. "We're just planting Ears, it's not terrible wandwork."

"_Will you listen to yourself_?" Hermione shrieked. "If you get caught and tortured, maybe that will knock some sense into you!"

"Hermione's right," Harry agreed quietly. "This isn't going to be easy."

"If we use the cloak—"

"Oh yes, the cloak solves everything, doesn't it?" Hermione cut across Ron coldly.

"I'm just trying to point out the facts!" Ron shouted at her, now angry with her brittle words.

"So am I!" Hermione yelled back. "The cloak can't do anything for us _if they know we're coming_!"

"But they won't! We'll be _invisible_," Ron sneered. Hermione emitted a low growl, her eyes alight with rage, before she turned on her heel and stormed out of the room.

Ron took up his magazine again, breathing deeply and trying to ignore the heat that had risen in his face and ears.

"Women," he grunted. Harry shook his head and continued Hermione's work of packing her bag, trying not to acknowledge the doubt in his mind.

_-x-x-x-_

"Everything alright?" Ginny asked Hermione quietly as Hermione went about the kitchen making herself tea, slamming the pots and cups with an unnecessary roughness.

"Ronald is an idiot, is all," Hermione huffed, finally sitting down and holding the steaming cup in her hands, not drinking it. She was glaring at the table, pouring over the more recent of arguments in her mind.

"Nothing new, then," Ginny sighed, sitting down next to her friend.

"He seems to think our side mission is going to be a piece of cake," Hermione snapped, now gripping the cup so tightly her knuckles turned white. "He's going to get himself killed by acting so reassured."

"So go without him." This voice was not Ginny's, but someone else's. A shiver went down her spine as she and Ginny turned to smile at Lupin as he came into the kitchen.

"I don't mean to eavesdrop, but your, uh, concern for Ron's safety caught my attention," Lupin said, sitting down. Hermione knew that it had nothing to do with her concern, but rather, the level at which she was screaming at her boyfriend.

"Harry would never go without him," Hermione pointed out. "Plus, knowing Ron . . . he'll pull through when we really need him to. I just—I just wish he could, for once, be completely aware of the risks. He never thinks things like this through."

"Ron in a nutshell," Ginny muttered.

"Are we having a party in here?" asked a bright voice. It was Tonks this time, and her hair was bright blue, her cheerful round face a sharp contrast to the spikes she had in her hair. She pulled a chair up next to Lupin, who immediately touched her arm in welcome.

"Ron's just being foolish again," Hermione sighed, finally taking a sip of her tea. "I'm tired of dealing with this. Every mission we've ever gone on, he's so calm about it. Lazy, one could dare say. I can't stand it!"

"If he had been with me last week, he wouldn't be so sure of everything," Tonks said with a grim tone, lifting up her shirt a little. There was a deep scar that had clearly been a terrible wound, but healed over. "Maybe he needs to experience a little bloodshed."

Hermione gasped but Ginny nodded her head, looking to Hermione for a nod of agreement. When Hermione looked shocked, Ginny promised hastily, "Not too much! Just enough to scare him."

"I-I don't want to throw him into danger's way though!" Hermione cried, sounding scandalized and frightened.

"It's the only way he'll learn, Hermione," Lupin said quietly. Hermione's eyes met his for a brief but tense moment, but then Hermione tore her eyes away, staring at the kitchen table as if it held all of her answers. She groaned and cupped her face in her hands, agitated and worried. Nothing was going right anymore.

But just as Hermione predicted, their movements were now done with a certain alertness that was both nerve-wracking and welcoming. The trek into Knocturn Alley simply to plant Dependable Ears (a spinoff of Fred and George's invention that worked like a tiny Muggle transmitter planted on an unknowing victim) on not only Death Eaters but many of the shops required not only skill, but tremendous luck.

Ron was all in favor of ensuring their success with a dose of Felix Felicis, but attaining the potion in such a small period of time would be impossible. Brewing it would be just as impossible, for making it would raise suspicions, and making it correctly was just as difficult. So, the three of them were relying heavily on the Invisibility Cloak, and a silenced pocket Sneakoscope that would allow them to get away from any hiding Death Eaters.

The eerie streets of Knocturn Alley were vacant of human presence, according to the Sneakoscope, but the three of them felt whispers beckoning to them in the air, and felt the shiver of fear crawl up their spine, even if technically was nothing there. Managing to plant many Dependable Ears discreetly under awnings, above door thresholds, and even on some obvious but nondescript bricks, they decided not to push their luck any farther and began to venture into welcome territory that was Diagon Alley.

Silence had been upon them since they had first entered Knocturn Alley, so the shrill alarm that blasted through the night was terrifying, but seemed almost unreal. After clutching their freshly terrified hearts, they looked at each other in confusion as the shrill alarm ricocheted to every inch of Diagon Alley.

"This isn't good, let's get out of here," Harry hissed.

But before his two comrades could nod in agreement, there was a massive black cloud that rose up from the ground around them, thicker than the blackness they had just escaped and as impenetrable as a brick wall. Terrified, Hermione screamed as numerous Death Eaters materialized rapidly around them, trapping them into a deadly ring.

"_Furnunculus_!" Hermione screamed without hesitation, taking down a few of the Death Eaters and creating an escape.

By now their cover was blown, but that didn't matter anymore; Hermione fled from the danger into the blackness of Diagon Alley, Ron and Harry close on her heels. Harry was shouting at her to run faster; they neared a corner, a building that was boarding up and abandoned and they scrambled to get past it, but suddenly—

"_Confringo_!"

The building erupted into flames in a colossal explosion, sending Ron, Harry, and Hermione into the air as fire began to evade the open space. Terrified, they struggled to get off the ground fast enough to escape both the fire and the Death Eaters, but—

"_Crucio_!" Ron fell to the ground in a howl of pain, his body convulsing.

"RON!" Hermione screamed, jumping towards him.

"_Expulso_!" The ground beside Hermione and Ron suddenly exploded with great force, slamming Hermione against the nearest wall and sending debris into the air, mixing with the fire. Harry managed to dodge the explosion, but was quick to reenter the fight and defend his friends.

"No! _Impedimentia_!" Hermione shouted, binding the Death Eater who had been torturing Ron.

The Death Eaters had caught up fully with them, a small throng of them that was just as condemning as it was frightening. As soon as Ron was up he was met with another two Death Eaters, managing to block and dodge several curses but quickly fell to a slash of purple flames. Harry threw curse after curse at whatever Death Eaters were near, seizing Ron and dragging him as far away as he could. Hermione was dueling fiercely, her silhouette impressive against the smoke and flames, but Harry's heart was gripped by a cold hand as she was struck and sent flying to the ground.

"HERMIONE!" Harry bellowed, fearful for her life as many closed in on her. "_Incendio_!" he shouted, hoping the new flames that were attacking the Death Eaters would distract them. "_Petrificus Totalus_! _Locomotor Mortis_!"

These swift jinxes temporarily took out some of the nearest Death Eaters, but only just—Harry's sudden actions seemed to attract them, and the deathly swarm soon closed in on him. "No! _Progoto_!" he shouted to avoid the nearest hex, but soon, he was being tortured. Harry's screams ripped through the night, distinguishable over the Caterwauling Charm that had given he and his friends away.

All was lost it seemed, and as the world began to fade away from his vision as he slipped into unconsciousness, he knew that this simple mission had gone horribly wrong.

When he woke, it was to rushed voices and panicked tones. He had the feeling that people were running around in a very small, cramped area. He also had the distinct feeling that somebody was touching him.

"Harry's come to!" someone screamed, very close to him, and he felt hands upon his wrist, checking his pulse.

"Oh good lord, thank heavens. Is he breathing alright?"

"Better than Ron, anyway."

"It's 'cause he's got two lungs!"

"Shut _up,_ Fred!"

"Give him some space, mum!"

"_Let me see him_!"

Suddenly, very soft hands were touching Harry's face. As he blinked groggily, trying to take in his surroundings, Ginny's kind brown eyes stared into his, relieved. "How are you feeling?" she whispered, stroking his cheek. He meant to say "Fine, thanks" but all that escaped his mouth was a low groan. Ginny helped him sit up and observe what was going on.

The first thing was that his body had been splayed across the kitchen table, which had been enlarged significantly to fit two other people. His hands were bloodied, and his vision was dotted with neon lights as he sat up. To his left, the unmoving bodies of Ron and Hermione lay next to him, being rapidly tended by Mrs. Weasley, Tonks, Lupin, and others. Hermione's face was bruised all over, and her shoulder was bare and torn open by a curse.

But Ron looked the worst: his arm was twisted at a funny angle, and there was blood seeping out onto the table from a deep gash that was across his chest. Unlike Hermione, who looked alright even if she was unconscious, Ron was completely still, and very, very pale.

"He's lost a lot of blood," Ginny said quietly as she observed Harry staring wide eyed at his best mate. "He's been hit with some dark magic, Dad said. He's off getting Healers from Saint Mungo's."

"This is all my fault," Harry uttered, horrified as he watched people gingerly and carefully apply medicine and bandages to whatever they could.

"They chose to walk into this with you, Harry," Ginny murmured, touching his hand. "We all are. We know the risks. If you had asked me, I would've gone with you tonight."

"Absolutely not," Harry said at once. "I could never—if you—" But he could not finish the heavy sentence that lay on the tip of his tongue. Finally, he asked, "How did we get back here? Who saved us?"

"I don't know," Ginny answered hesitantly, but truthfully. "I was asleep when you three left—which I am _not_ pleased about, by the way; at the very least I wanted to see you off! But I was also asleep when your bodies were brought back . . . we were all asleep. Mum's screaming woke me up."

A horrible sense of dread had overcome Harry at these words; what if Hermione and Ron had returned with him not unconscious, but dead? Surely, with all the blood and their motionless bodies, it had been the only that would have occurred to Mrs. Weasley . . .

"She's waking!" Tonks shouted, and suddenly there was commotion around Hermione's stirring body. Groaning, she winced and rolled over slightly, her hand immediately going to her forehead, which was covered in lots of small cuts, blood, and bruises. Fingers went through her hair and presumably felt the debris that was in it, but nothing was quite alarming as the feeling of Ron's unmoving chest beneath her hand.

"RON! _RON_!"

_-x-x-x-_

"He's very unstable, but the Healers say he should be alright in a few days," Mr. Weasley said with a heavy sigh. "He's been hit with some dark magic that is nearly irreparable."

"But he'll be alright," Hermione said: it was not so much a question as it was a challenging statement.

"Yes. I hope," Mr. Weasley answered quietly, staring at the floor. "Tonks and Mad Eye both have extensive medical training, because the Auror program requires it, so they'll be watching him day and night."

"Is he awake yet?" Harry asked quietly, taking over Hermione's inquiry as she began to silently cry.

"Nearly. He's mumbling and coming to, but not quite coherent yet."

But he didn't need to be coherent for Hermione, who immediately flew to the next room where Ron was being cared for. After a tense look from Mr. Weasley, Harry followed her. Normally the sitting room of Grimmauld Place was adorned with fading, elegant wallpaper that peeled in some places but begged to be overlooked by guests. There were several couches and footrests, a table and some chairs, all gathered around the fireplace. Instead of this furniture was a large table that had once held Ron and his two friends, but now just had the Weasley boy. Around him were little bags and boxes in which Harry assumed to be medically oriented. Hermione sat at his head, face in her hands, holding a quiet vigil.

"This all could have been avoided, Harry," murmured a kind, quiet voice. Harry did not have to turn around to acknowledge a worried look in Dumbledore's eyes. "Let us walk, Harry."

The tall, old man led them to a room that had rarely been used and would never truly be used again: Sirius' old bedroom. Harry felt a shiver crawl down his spine as they entered, and as Dumbledore silenced the room so no one could intrude. Then he beckoned to Harry to sit down on the bed.

"I admire your actions, Harry," Dumbledore started quietly. "I recognize that you were acting for the Order itself, trying to allow us to get a few feet ahead. However, it is vital that you place your trust in more than just Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger, for terrible things can happen when your resources are limited."

"I-I didn't mean for this to happen—It went so well, it seemed so easy, but Hermione said—"

"That it would be more dangerous than you anticipated?" Dumbledore finished quietly. "Yes, I imagine she was right. But I am not here to inform you of your mistakes, Harry, because that would be quite unnecessary."

"Thanks," Harry muttered, raking a hand through his hair. "Professor, how did we get back here?"

"Miss Granger had informed several people of what was going on, in the hopes that they would keep quiet about it. One of them, unbeknownst to all of you, followed you into Diagon Alley just to be safe."

"Who?"

"Remus Lupin," Dumbledore said after a brief pause. "He followed you, and when the Caterwauling Charm went off, he alerted several of us. By the time we had arrived and fought off the remainder of the Death Eaters, all three of you were unconscious."

"Why did that Charm go off?" Harry asked. "Nothing happened when we entered Diagon Alley or Knocturn Alley."

"I believe that it is set to go off if someone without the Dark Mark leaves Knocturn Alley. That way all of their dark forces can be concentrated at the exit, to trap the victims back in."

"I-I didn't know," Harry mumbled, feeling miserable for leading his friends into such danger.

"You know now, Harry. And you know that, in the future, you must relay any and every bit of information to the rest of the Order. Mrs. Weasley perhaps may be upset with you, but you _are_ part of the Order of the Phoenix," the old wizard said with a knowing grin to Harry's astonished look.

"So you're not—We're in—really?" Harry breathed. "I-I mean we did this just to help, not just as—" But Harry could not speak coherent words, for a wonderful feeling had taken over his body, and he felt as if he could fly.

"Yes, Harry. You are in the Order of the Phoenix. The moment you were done at the castle, you have been in."

"Yes, but—I mean—Mrs. Weasley never—no one ever—" Still, Harry was still elated to form comprehensible words.

"I understand, Harry," Dumbledore said with a low chuckle. "Now, I think it is prudent that you join Miss Granger for the moment. She'll certainly need your support in this dire hour."

"Yes, sir." Smiling at Dumbledore one last time, Harry carefully made his way to the sitting room, nearly bursting with happiness.

As he came into the room, he stopped short. Ron was still lying motionless on the table, but Hermione had fallen asleep at his head, a hand laced with his, and her cheek on his shoulder. This made sense to Harry, for they had been together for a number of years, and despite all of their arguments, he knew Ron and Hermione loved each other, almost desperately one could say.

What did not make sense, however, was Remus Lupin standing over them. He was also at Ron's head, and upon first glance, it would seem that he was staring down at Ron's face. However, Harry had the distinct feeling he was staring down at Hermione.

Coughing a little to announce his presence, Lupin gave Harry a startled look before quickly rearranging his features into an easy smile. "Ron's getting his color back. He'll be alright in a few days."

"Yeah, I think so too," Harry agreed. The two of them looked at each other, almost awkwardly, before Lupin murmured something about getting to bed and moving hastily past Harry.

The Boy-Who-Lived watched his previous professor leave, wondering what it was that made Lupin turn around and glance at his sleeping friends. Shrugging off the lingering question, Harry pulled up a chair beside Hermione, took her other hand with a squeeze, and tried to expel the worry that had entered his mind once more.

_-x-x-x-_

Three weeks later, Ron and Hermione were back to their old health and attitude, while all three of them sported scars and horrific memories to remind them of their past actions. However, true to Dumbledore's word, they were not only allowed to sit in on the meetings, but participate.

In the room was Harry, Ron and Hermione, along with Ginny and Fred and George (who had been silenced by their mother to keep quiet, much to their indignation). Mr. and Mrs. Weasley sat together next to Lupin and Tonks; Snape sat to the left of Dumbledore. Of course there were many others that should have been there, but had been unable to attend for some reason.

"We have a considerable amount of new information," Dumbledore was saying to occupants of the kitchen. "Thanks to our newest and more reckless members. As of today, these Dependable Ears have still gone undetected, and have relayed some vital information as far as whereabouts of Death Eaters, safe houses, and perhaps some reliable information on Voldemort as well."

There was an excited murmur about this, but stopped as soon as Dumbledore's hand rose into the air, calling for silence. "Currently, Azkaban is under questionable authority, as is the Ministry. If we make any moves to detain Death Eaters, I am not sure where we can place them. This is why I do not think we should move in for the attack, but investigate further still."

"What do you think he's going to do?" Ron whispered to Harry, who shrugged, just as confused as his friend.

"Something good, knowing him," Harry whispered back. Like the two boys, many people were exchanging ideas to one another, unable to wait for Dumbledore's plan of action.

Again, Dumbledore silenced the room. "I want to procure more detailed and reliable information so we do not have to go through the ranks of the Death Eaters. What we need is for Voldemort's most trusted inner circle to be infiltrated, so his closest allies are threatened, and therefore Voldemort himself."

"You want us to infiltrate their safe houses," Hermione said quietly. A little smile appeared on Dumbledore's face, which caused for immediately talk that was not, in anyway, contained to whispers.

"Are you crazy? We'll be destroyed!"

"How do we even know where the safe houses are?"

"How are we supposed to get _in_ these safe houses?"

"And undetected, might I add."

"This is so impossible."

"No it's not!" Hermione protested. "It might call for a little danger, but in these times, everything does."

"Exactly, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said with a proud nod.

"Where do you suggest we start?" Mr. Weasley said. "Do we even know for sure where the safe houses are?"

"It is more than just an assumption that his inner circle would host many of them. However, that being said, it proposes a singular and difficult problem: security. Lord Voldemort is intelligent, and he knows that the Order is willing to try anything to destroy him."

"So how do we get in then?" Tonks asked.

"I believe only those bearing the Dark Mark can enter with an alarm being raised. That being said . . ."

"It is up to me," Snape finished in a silky voice. "Anyone accompanying a Death Eater can enter without raising an alarm as well. However, apparating in has been banned and, not quite unlike us, a number of security questions must be answered when using the main entrances."

"Why can't Snape go and plant the ears himself?" Ron whispered to Hermione.

"Are you going to suggest that to him?" Hermione hissed back, giving him a sharp look. "Because really, I'd love to see his reaction."

"Aside from those, I do believe that another entry way is impossible," Dumbledore said.

"What about Flooing in, sir?" Hermione proposed quietly. "I know—we can be very easily traced doing so, and it is quite tricky, but—I was thinking—since you said we weren't sure if the Ministry had been taken over yet . . ."

"Ah yes, I see where you're going with this," Dumbledore murmured.

"I could investigate further, as well," Mr. Weasley suggested, catching onto Hermione's idea. "I'm sure, if timed appropriately, the many eyes watching the Floo network could be occupied if we created a distraction . . ."

"I hate to burst this bubble," Snape sneered, sounding as if he wanted to do just that; "But I must inform you that nearly all the fireplaces at these safe houses are sealed."

"Nearly all?" Lupin questioned sharply.

"There is one that is always left open, but it is always heavily guarded and whoever decides to Floo in must have a fitting explanation," Snape explained. "And to Floo in you must know exactly which fireplace to enter through."

"Why couldn't we just try them all?" Mr. Weasley suggested.

"The owners of these safe houses are not imbeciles," Snape drawled, looking contemptuously at Arthur Weasley. "The moment an intruder tries the wrong fireplace, they are alerted."

"Then we'll have to study the layouts of these safe houses, and try to determine which would be most likely be an open fireplace," Tonks said. "We can probably use decoys to go through each fireplace; that will at least shake them up."

"That is the last thing we want to do," Snape said in a soft, dangerous voice. "The moment they ascertain we are trying to break through their fireplaces, the security will be tripled. It is a hit or miss, and if we miss, we cannot go back."

"Albus, do we know any of the safe houses yet?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"The Lestrange Estate, the Malfoy Manor, and the Nott Mansion as well," Dumbledore responded. "I'm sure there are others but so far, these are the ones that we are certain of."

"The Malfoys have a million and one fireplaces," Tonks groaned. "Which could possibly be the open one?"

"The drawing room," Hermione and Lupin answered simultaneously.

There was a tense pause as Hermione and Lupin stared at each other for a moment, confused, before Hermione suddenly narrowed her eyes, almost angrily, and a pained look crossed Lupin's face before he tore his eyes away.

"How-?" Harry began to ask.

"I heard several of Draco Malfoy's friends talking about it through the Dependable Ear," Hermione lied easily. "That's how _I_ know it, anyway," she added roughly, now glaring at the back of Lupin's head. "What about you, _professor_?"

Ignoring Hermione's jab, Lupin turned directly to Dumbledore and said, "What about the Lestrange Estate?"

"Also a million and one fireplaces," Tonks said, but with much more caution than enthusiasm, looking to Lupin as if waiting for a reaction.

"We'll, err, have to get layouts then," Mr. Weasley said, looking between Hermione and Lupin as if observing them might eradicate the tension in the air.

"Or we could go into the Malfoy Manor, plants ears, and figure out the other safe houses from there," Tonks suggested to Dumbledore, who nodded.

"We have a plan."

_-x-x-x-_

Later on that night, Hermione and Ginny lied still in their beds and listened to the screaming match that was happening downstairs between Lupin and Tonks. Their words were indistinguishable, but were harsh nonetheless.

"They've been at it for an hour now," Ginny said quietly into the darkness. Hermione grunted. "What do you reckon their fighting about?"

"Oh Ginny, don't play innocent, it doesn't suit you well," Hermione snapped. "You know perfectly well what they're fighting about. I just wish they'd do it somewhere else, and not at two in the morning. The whole place must be awake by now."

"Do you think he's got any more excuses for her this time?" Ginny asked.

"No, of course not," Hermione answered scathingly. "And now he's got this new problem to deal with too, and knowing Tonks, it hasn't slipped past her. She's probably upset about that, anyway."

"Which is what?"

"He's hiding something, and she knows it for sure now. I mean, you've seen the way he's been acting in the last few weeks, Ginny," Hermione said. "And on top of that, we all know what happened today during the meeting."

"Do you think he'll own up to it?"

"No," Hermione muttered angrily. "That's more than I could ever hope for. I'm just angry that he acted like nothing happened today."

"If he acknowledges one memory, he has to acknowledge them all," Ginny reminded her quietly. "And he can't do that and maintain his engagement with Tonks."

"We're both over it by now, it shouldn't matter," Hermione sniffed, ignoring the particularly wonderful and painful memory that always surfaced in her mind. "The least he could do is stop pretending."

"Do you even _know_ what it's like to be in the same room as you two?" Ginny asked incredulously. "He can't acknowledge _anything_ or else he'd be all over you!"

"Ginny, please," Hermione scoffed. "He never takes his eyes off of Tonks."

"And how would you know this?"

_Because I never take my eyes off of him_, Hermione thought to herself, feeling sadness creep over her. "He's happy with her. That's all that matters. I have Ron, he's got her, we're all fine and good," Hermione said flatly.

"That still doesn't explain why they're fighting," Ginny pointed out. "And it also will not explain what happens when the truth finally comes out."

"The truth isn't going to come out, Ginny!" Hermione cried. "Remus and I happened years ago and he'll never acknowledge it and it will never happen again and we've both _gotten over it_!"

"He's not over it," Ginny said quietly. "Harry told me that the night you lot came back from Diagon Alley, and you were sleeping by Ron, Lupin was just standing there and watching you sleep."

"He must have been watching Ron to make sure he was alright," Hermione suggested at once, but felt an undeniably sense of longing rise within her.

"And today in the meeting, he wouldn't look at you. Face it, Hermione, his charade is falling to pieces and Tonks is caught in the middle of it."

"No!" Hermione objected, and was surprised to find tears welling up in her eyes. "Because if that happens, _everything is ruined._ I have a life with Ron! He and Tonks are going to be married soon! I can't just—just let him rip apart our lives!"

Ginny sighed, recognizing that she was losing this battle with Hermione. She turned over on her side, and murmured one last piece of advice. "Just be prepared, Hermione."

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Note:** well, in all honesty, I was going to make this the last chapter, but it's nearly 15 pages long already and I have so much more to throw at you guys! So hopefully the next chapter will be the end, not counting an epilogue. Hopefully.

**Faithful Wheezy **is my man! But she's not a man, but she's still my man. Thank you readers for coming back to this!

**Please review!**


	28. Déjà Vu

**Disclaimer:** I do not own this wonderful franchise. But I do own Dependable Ears!

**Note:** I realize now that back in the day, Hermione and co. Flooed into the sitting room and not the drawing room, but throughout the chapter (The Final Stand) I was inconsistent about it, so that was my fault. There are so many continuity errors throughout this story, hah. ALSO Neville and Luna and Dean and so many other kids aren't in the Order because, quite frankly, I forgot about them until just now. Sorrys =)

**Still So Close to You  
by darkwing731**

((-Chapter Twenty Nine-))  
Déjà Vu

_"And today in the meeting, he wouldn't look at you. Face it, Hermione, his charade is falling to pieces and Tonks is caught in the middle of it."_

_"No!" Hermione objected, and was surprised to find tears welling up in her eyes. "Because if that happens, __everything is ruined.__ I have a life with Ron! He and Tonks are going to be married soon! I can't just—just let him rip apart our lives!"_

_Ginny sighed, recognizing that she was losing this battle with Hermione. She turned over on her side, and murmured one last piece of advice. "Just be prepared, Hermione."_

In the coming weeks, those of the Order who worked at the Ministry—which was Mr. Weasley, Mad Eye, and Tonks—procured as much information as they could without raising suspicion. Doing this was rather difficult in itself, for there was never anyone who could be truly trusted, as Voldemort had unofficially infiltrated the Ministry.

As Dumbledore discussed specific details during meetings of how they would go about the new mission, it reminded Hermione vividly of her last weeks with the Marauders, and there were times when she would lose herself in those last beautiful memories. Those last moments with Lily, who was kindhearted and gentle, and Sirius, who had never been so loyal before in his life; James, determined and fearless, fighting only for the people he loved, and of course, Remus—But these thoughts were always met with tears and Hermione always forced herself to become occupied, for fear that she would, once again, be consumed with the memories she knew were real.

"Now, we must go about this with as much precision as we can," Dumbledore said to the room of taciturn Order members. "Our goal in doing this is to simply plant Dependable Ears so that we might be able to procure more information. This being said, it is a mission that requires very careful attention, but only of one person. If we can do this successfully once, we will do it many times again.

"The information we are looking for upon the first successful planting of an Ear is not limited to anything, but we are looking for relevant information that might help us. We must start small in order to grow," he said sagely.

After careful planning and the borrowing of Harry's invisibility cloak, Mad-Eye Moody was chosen to go through the fire after Snape, who burst into the Malfoy Manor's drawing room with an urgent message to Lucius Malfoy to distract whoever might be keeping guard in the drawing room. The Order held its breath as Moody stepped through, invisible.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" croaked Tonks, who looked up the Moody greatly. But no sooner than the last word had escaped her mouth, the flames turned green and Moody materialized out of thin air. Moody's gruesome eye whizzed about in his head, looking at the tense occupants of the room, the twin of the Dependable Ear in his hand, which relayed the audio.

"I could've gone in there blindfolded and done it just as easily," Moody grunted. "All the security they've got is the youngest Malfoy! And by the looks of him, he resented having that job."

"Draco Malfoy?" Hermione asked skeptically. "He was in our class—"

"The lad who was turned into a ferret? Yeah, I know him," Moody growled with a crooked smile. "I could hate the bloke who used me for the Polyjuice, but I have to admit, that ferret thing was clever."

With the Dependable Ear now in place, Hermione volunteered to listen first, knowing she was highly trusted by Dumbledore to catch any useful information. Within the first few hours (filled mostly with nondescript sounds and some irrelevant chat) Draco Malfoy proved himself quite useful.

It was about seven o'clock at night, and Hermione was sipping a bowl of tomato bisque and eyeing a book that was perched on the nearest bookshelf, when there was a scuffle that was within earshot of the Dependable Ear. Choking a bit on her soup, Hermione abandoned her meal and pulled the twin Ear close.

" . . . This isn't how I should be spending my summer, mother said I could go and fly with the Montrose Magpies, she said she had it all planned as a surprise—"

"I don't care what your mother says, Draco, _you must stay here_."

"I've been shut up in this room all week! It's so terribly _boring_! Can't I at least have Theodore to sit here and wither away with me as company? With all of the books I've been reading you'd think I was Mudblood Granger—"

"_Draco_! What happens if you have your friends over and somehow Dumbledore just walks through the grate? Do you honestly think you're talented enough to even _stun_ him?"

There was a foreboding pause before—

"You don't know what I can do, father."

"_Prove it_. Sit here and watch that fire with every muscle of your being and _somehow_ prove to me that you're not worthless. Impress me, go ahead."

Then there were footsteps that moved away from the Ear, followed by the slamming of a door. A sliver of silence was followed by a loud, sharp noise and a crash of pottery; clearly, Draco had smashed something in his rage. His anger footsteps were mixed with his incomprehensible mutterings before he neared the Ear, past it, and—

"The Nott Mansion!" A roar from the fire was the only sound aside from the falling of Draco's body, and Hermione envisioned him getting down on his hands and knees and sticking his head through the fireplace. A few minutes later, Draco stood up again, grunting, and then there was another massive roar—

"Draco, you've got soot on your face." This voice was new, but Hermione recognized it to be Theodore Nott.

"Ugh."

"I thought your father said—"

"My father can fly off, I'll do what I like. I'm not in Hogwarts anymore. I'd be moved out by now if it wasn't for this war—We'd all be moved out. I'm sick of living in this place."

"Is he going to through us in the basement again if he catches us?"

"Don't be daft, Theo. We're not staying here. Let's go."

Hermione wasn't if she was hearing their footsteps leaving the room, or her heart hammering in her ears. Excitement and worry and hope and fear crashed upon her all at once; hands flipping about with indecision, Hermione moaned in panic and tried quickly to do something productive. She could scream for Harry or Ron, or scream for Dumbledore, or jump through the fireplace, or do_ anything but what she was doing_.

"Someone!" Hermione finally yelled. "Someone come quick! _Now_!"

The groan of furniture in the next room and frantic footsteps indicated that someone was coming. In fact, several people burst into the room, being Harry, Ron, and Ginny, but also Tonks and Mrs. Weasley.

"Dumbledore!" she squeaked, still flapping her hands about. "The room—empty—Malfoys gone—_someone go through_!"

The new occupants looked at each other with wide eyes before all talking in a rush. Molly Weasley was against any action, but Harry and Ron were all for improvising and even sprinted upstairs to fetch Harry's invisibility cloak. Ginny and Tonks reasoned with Molly to use this opportunity for all it was worth. When Harry and Ron arrived back, their chests heaving, they had the invisibility cloak with them.

"I have a better idea!" Tonks announced, grabbing the invisibility cloak. "Quick! Now get me your seventh year picture!"

"W-What?" Hermione stammered as Ron and Harry fled the room again. "What's that—won't that—it's _pointless_!"

"I can impersonate Draco Malfoy if I know what he looks like," Tonks pointed out. "I'll go with the invisibility cloak after I've morphed, plant as many Ears as I can, and if I get caught I'll look like I belong in that Manor!" Even Mrs. Weasley could offer no solid reason as to why Tonks should not do this. "Trust me, Molly, I can handle this."

"But dear, you're awfully clumsy . . . what if you break something?" Mrs. Weasley pointed out weakly, trying to delay Tonks as much as she could.

However, the moment Ron and Harry returned again, Fred and George in tow, panting, there was no turning back; Tonks began to transform at once, both copying the picture of all the seventh years and obliging the little details Fred and George offered about their enemy.

"No, no, his shoulders are a little wider . . ."

"Maybe balding a bit in the back, yeah."

"No, just really blond. Like white hair. Old lady white."

"Too skinny! No wait, too fat. Wait, wait, that's perfect."

"His nose is pointier."

"You're thinking of his chin, Fred."

"Oh. Is there a difference?"

"For heaven's sakes," Hermione snapped, but even she could not disagree that was the wonder before her: Draco Malfoy seemed to be standing in the room, but an excited, charming smile was dazzling his normally smug look.

"Well? How's it look?" Draco, or rather Tonks, asked at once; she gave a little twirl to show off the entire model.

"You can't be shouting in a girl's voice," Ron reminded her as George began to sing an aria in an impressive falsetto.

Tonks nodded, coughed a few times, and said in a very low voice, "How's this?"

"Higher," Fred said.

"This?"

"Now lower," George instructed.

"This?"

"Higher," they both agreed.

"_Stop_!" Hermione cried. "Tonks, it's fine, honestly. But if you're going to do this, you've got to move fast. And remember; plant them in the more populated areas of the house, if you can!"

"Okay!" Tonks exclaimed, grinning. She stepped into the fireplace, drawing the invisibility cloak about her, and said, "The drawing room, Malfoy Manor!" And with a roar of green flames, she was gone.

Hermione, Ron, Harry, Ginny, the twins, and Mrs. Weasley quickly gathered around the twin Ear that was still relaying information to Grimmauld Place. They heard the roar of the flames, the thump of Tonks' body, and her quick footsteps. A door creaked open, and then a second later, snapped shut.

"And now . . . We wait."

But what should have taken about 15 minutes took much longer than that; as the hours ticked by, and the occupants of the room replaced their excitement with worry and fear, it became undeniably apparent that something was wrong. Soon, members of the Order were present, and the watch (or listen) was moved into the room in which meetings were held. Dumbledore was absent, as well as Snape, who was still holding up his façade with the Death Eaters. Hermione and Ron clutched hands as all the members gathered, worried sick for their friends but secretly praying they had not volunteered to do such a deed.

"Every second that ticks by is a second against Tonks," Mr. Weasley said to the nervous occupants of the room who would have been eased just with Dumbledore's attendance. "We can't let her sit as their prisoner, we have to get her back."

"But whatever managed to get her could just as easily get any one of us," Ron argued. "She's got Harry's invisibility cloak, so it's not like we can sneak in anymore! Plus, if a whole regiment of us go barreling into the Malfoy Manor from _one fireplace_, we're done!"

"We have no other option, Ron," Mr. Weasley said gravely.

"We can throw in a decoy detonator into the fireplace, as well as some Peruvian Darkness, which will allow us to sneak through the drawing room and into the main part of the house," George said, looking impressed with himself for this suggestion.

"As long as we use the Disillusioning Charm, we'll be fine," George agreed, now pretending to fawn over his brother's momentary brilliance.

"That's . . . not a bad idea," Mr. Weasley admitted. "However, only a few of us are going. We can't risk everyone's lives. So, that being said, I will go, along with Alastor, Molly, if she wishes, Remus, and I'll see if Bill wants to fly in—"

"Hey hey, what about us?" George piped up, a thumb pointing to his brother as well. "This was our idea—"

"You're too inexperienced—"

"We've been of age for, what, six years?" Fred interjected. "Merlin's beard! You'd think we were still sixteen."

"Arthur's right, you can't go," Mrs. Weasley joined, nodding to her husband.

"And what about us too?" Ron said loudly, trying to gain attention. "Me, Harry, and Hermione can certainly fend for ourselves!"

"And me too!" Ginny added fiercely.

"No!" Mr. Weasley cried. "Too many people would mean chaos!"

"We're all Order members," Hermione said quietly, catching the lull of the fight. "Perhaps we should resort to something . . . rudimentary?"

"Like what?" Harry asked.

"This is very Muggle like of me, but we can draw straws?" Hermione offered, looking around. "First, I think we should agree on a fair number that would not be too many, but not too few. A number that we can all agree on."

"Well . . ." Mr. Weasley looked nervous. "Five? I mean, because we can have one jump in and create the distraction, two go and search for Tonks, while the other two or three hold off the Death Eaters." There was a general murmur of agreement.

"Alright then."

Hermione took out her wand, muttering a few words before there were ten straws drawn up in thin air. With a quick spell, five of them were cut in half, and Hermione arranged them all behind her hand so everything was nondescript and quite the same. She went about to each person in the room, letting them have their pick. When she came to Remus Lupin, she kept her eyes determinedly on the floor, although she couldn't help but notice how pale he was, and couldn't help remembering how his voice was entirely absent in the discussion about Tonks' recovery. At the end, Hermione looked about the room, making sure she had not forgotten anyone, and looked at her own straw.

It was long.

Suppressing a disappointed feeling, she asked the room: "Who pulled short straws?"

Ron, Moody, Ginny, Mr. Weasley, and George raised their hands; Mr. Weasley looked pained to be surrounded by younger fighters, while Moody looked annoyed that his former students were watching his back. Ron and George high fived, while Ginny shot down her mother's demands that she should stay behind.

_Great_, Hermione thought sarcastically to herself. Mrs. Weasley began to fret over her children and her husband, while Fred argued with his twin, Harry begging Ginny to switch straws with him; Remus Lupin simply stared at the table, his face pale and solemn.

"When should we go?" Ginny asked her father.

"Well, we should get everything together first . . ."

"Shouldn't you wait for Dumbledore?" Hermione asked.

"That would be ideal," Mr. Weasley agreed. Checking his watch, he said, "If Dumbledore isn't here by midnight, we're leaving without him. That gives him two entire hours. In those two hours, we have to prepare." Turning to those who had the short straws, he motioned for them to follow him out of the room, and the new troop exited the room.

"I should've stolen Ginny's," Fred said the moment his sister was out of the room.

"And I should've stolen Ron's!" Harry agreed.

"Stop it," Hermione told them sharply. "No one should be asking to dive headfirst into this. It's a dangerous job."

The hours ticked by, and as midnight came close, Moody took over and was instructing them on what was necessary to keep them alive. As he summoned things and put them in a pile, he glared at the three youngsters (a relative term) and threatened their lives if his should ever be in jeopardy.

"Death Eaters'll do whatever they can to take you down, even the stupid ones," Moody barked. "So remember! Constant Vigilance! Even if you think it's just us in the room—I've been impersonated once before, don't let anybody fool you!

"Now here, everyone takes these!" Moody instructed, thrusting a Dependable Ear to Ron, Ginny, George and Mr. Weasley. "Put them somewhere in your cloak, and if you get caught, the person listening on the other line will be able to alert someone. We're also going to throw one of these Decoy Detonators into the fire before we jump through to give us just a second to spare. Arthur and I will jump through and attack while we can, and when we tell you it's in the clear, you three jump through and we search the house. Understood?"

"Sir, yes sir!" George shouted back, a stiff hand at his forehead. Ginny cupped her face in her palms with a groan.

Dumbledore had not arrived in the last few hours, and did not arrive as the clock began to chime at midnight. Looking grim and worried, Arthur looked to Moody as if questioning whether or not they should be doing this without the wise, old man. Before words could be passed, Moody gruffly stepped forward and grabbed some Floo powder.

"Wait!" Hermione cried, clutching the Ear whose twin was in the drawing room of the Malfoy Manor. "All I can hear is snoring. With a Decoy Detonator, you'll just wake them up and cause unnecessary noise."

"A good point," Moody admitted. "Well, I'll jump in. If I don't wake him then I'll stun him or bind him. It's now or never."

With these words, Moody cast one final sharp look over his shoulder, as if to warn the group following him that it was his only shot. He patted the Dependable Ear hidden over his heart, murmured a Disillusioning Charm over himself, tossed a handful of Floo powder and shouted, "The drawing room, Malfoy Manor!" and then dived right through.

The group at Grimmauld Place gathered around the twin Ear, listening closely. Moody's voice murmured something, and the snoring ceased immediately, followed by a great _thump_. Then, Moody clearly said, "Alright you lot, come through."

Ron and George exchanged an eager look, while Harry seized Ginny and planted a kiss directly on her mouth, ignoring the noises from the Weasleys. "Be safe, Ginny, I'll be listening," Harry promised quietly, kissing her nose this time.

"Ron, if you even get stunned I'm coming in after you," Hermione said fretfully, clutching his arms and looking tearfully into his eyes.

"Relax, Hermione," Ron eased, grinning. He gave her a soft kiss as well, murmuring that he loved her and that he would be back soon.

"Freddikins, come give me a kissy!" George cried, making a grab for his twin.

"You can kiss Merlin's arse if you like instead!"

"Enough!" Mrs. Weasley shouted. "Go on, now, before I change my mind!"

That was impetus enough; after they had all casted Disillusioning Charms over themselves, making them nearly invisible, the selected group dashed through the fireplace, the flames eating them up with a harmless roar before their bodies were gone entirely. Standing nervously in the kitchen, all those that were left behind anxiously grabbed a twin ear and listened.

"I've got Mr. Weasley," Hermione announced.

"I've got Ginny's," Fred said.

"Ron's," Harry murmured.

"George's!" Mrs. Weasley gasped.

"Moody," Lupin said quietly.

Everyone began to switch ears and listen to the person closest to their heart, not daring to breathe in case some precious moment was missed, in case the dying words of these soldiers were too faint to distinguish. To Hermione, Ron's movements were tainted by her hammering heart, and she clutched at her chest to soothe her fear and calm her heaving lungs. Listening closely, the remaining occupants of the room pressed their ears to the twin ears desperately, trying to gain whatever information they could, relevant or not.

" . . . Alright, this room's clear," Moody's voice grunted. "Now, we've got to split up. Arthur and I will take the upstairs, seeing as it's the farthest from the fireplace and you kids need to be able to get back here more than us. You three split up the main floor, and _remember_—"

"Constant vigilance," Ron, Ginny, and George chimed together.

"Good. Now go."

There was the slow creaking of the door, footsteps, and a horrible, spiraling silence that was begging to be broken by some terrible noise, like a curse or a hex.

"Okay, you two," whispered George's voice, which did not come through in Moody or Arthur's twin ears. "I can't imagine the Malfoys having sleepovers, so there probably won't be many people here, if any." Here, he took on a tone of heavy seriousness; "Stay low to the ground, and if someone sees you, don't move. Try everything you can not to reveal yourself. We've all got Peruvian Instant Darkness powder with us, so _make sure you use it._"

"Right," answered Ron nervously.

"Now Ginny, I want you to go with Ron," George decided.

"No!" Ginny hissed. "I can take care of myself, all we're doing is looking for Tonks! I'm just as capable as you!"

"No Ginny, you're going with Ron—"

"Just because I'm a girl-!"

"This is not the time to argue!" Ron snapped in a whisper. "I'll follow Ginny but we won't be together, alright? We'll both go the left and you can take the right. Okay?"

"Fine," Ginny and George said together.

"Remember, move slowly," George reminded them. "And if you find Tonks, don't go shouting about it. Whisper into your Dependable Ear and the others will do something about it. Just try not to get caught."

"And they won't kill us right away, even if we are," pointed out Ron. There was an audible smack at this comment, a squeal of pain, and Ron muttering angrily. "Let's go, Ginny."

More footsteps that echoed in the silence. It was at least five minutes before there was another voice, and this time it came through on only Ron and Ginny's twin ear, which meant George was now out of range with his siblings.

"Ginny, you go that way. If you should need me—"

"I'll be fine," Ginny whispered flatly.

Back at Grimmauld Place, everyone was pressed up against a twin ear, looking agitated. Everything had gone utterly silent, except for footsteps, breathing, and the occasional creaking of a door. Suddenly, Harry gasped, pushing Ginny's twin ear against his own.

"Listen!" Harry cried as everyone scrambled to get closer.

Faintly, from Ginny's ear, there was a terrible wailing that sounded far away, as if from another room or floor. The wailing stopped short, and then, after a terrible silence, it was a blood curdling scream.

"Tonks," Remus croaked unexpectedly, catching everyone off guard.

Ginny was definitely following this screaming, for it was getting louder and more distinguishable; in fact, it was apparent that this prisoner, Tonks, was saying something, or trying to at least. Her words were mixed with sobs and painful gasps.

"Torture me all you like, I don't _care_," Tonks spat, sounding out of breath.

"It seems no one from the Order ever _really _cares about being tortured. Before long, you'll be just like the Longbottoms. They'll be nice company in Saint Mungo's, hmm? _Crucio_!"

The piercing scream made not only Ginny gasp, but made those at Grimmauld Place gasp as well. Hermione clutched Harry's arm in horror, her eyes wide, as Mrs. Weasley buried her face in Fred's shoulder, sobbing. Lupin stared down, open mouthed, at the twin ear that was transmitting Tonks' defiance.

As soon as the screams subsided, Tonks was gasping for air, but she was also croaking a horrible, jagged, humorless laugh. "I don't care what you do, I'll never tell you."

"I'm sure another day without food and water would reverse your little threat, you piece of scum. Draco, throw her back downstairs, I'm going to get someone else to take care of this."

Footsteps.

A gasp of surprise.

The swing of a door.

The cry of pain.

"What in the world-? _No_! _Stupefy_!" Lucius Malfoy roared; Ginny's scream ripped through the twin ear, followed by a confused, angry sputter of Lucius Malfoy and fleeing footsteps.

"_Lumos! Lumos! No_!" Lucius snarled. "_Voconex_!"

Back at Grimmauld Place, Hermione cried, "He's summoning the other Death Eaters!"

Sure enough, mixed with the heavy panting and hurried footsteps that transmitted through Ginny's twin ears, there was a great commotion nearby. The noise was now coming out of Ron's ear as well, and George's. The two boys began sputtering to themselves in alarmed confusion, before there was a great blasting noise and a terrible scream—

"_Stupefy_!"

_-x-x-x-_

_Wand, Decoy Detonators, Instant Darkness Powder, essence of dittany, a healing draught, salves, bandages, Fred and George's jinx shields, the cloak if it was here, but Tonks has it with her somewhere . . ._

_What if they're hurt? What if they're dead? What if Ron's dead? What if Ginny's dead? What about everyone else?_

_What could they possibly want from Tonks? What was so important?_

_This is just like last time._

_Where is Dumbledore?_

_Will I live through this?_

Disregarding the turbulent flurry of thoughts in her mind, Hermione stuffed things as quickly as she could into her shoulder bag and her cloak, trying to wrack her brains for anything else that may have been just as important as what she had selected. Mumbling to herself and sweeping her eyes about the room, Hermione nodded to herself with an anxious breath and swiftly left the room, placing a Dependable Ear inside her cloak and trying to decide where to leave its twin while rushing down the stairs.

"What are you doing?"

It was if Hermione had been flung over the railing of a boat, plunging into icy waters with a shock that stole her breath away. Every corpse muscle in her body froze, muscles that had been screaming for her to move faster towards the fireplace, to the prison, to her friends. Now, she stood rooted to the spot, an icy hand clutching her ankles and seizing the rest of her body, rendering her immobile.

"I'm going to the Malfoy Manor," Hermione answered calmly, though she was anything but that.

"You can't honestly say you're _actually_ considering rescuing them," Remus Lupin scoffed, though it was quiet. He was behind her, a landing above her, and his presence was unnerving, like a mouse well aware of the hawk circling nearby.

"You're telling me you're content with letting them waste away in a cell, tortured and terrified?" Hermione retorted, though it was almost weak, and painful. She realized she was on the verge of tears.

"How can you just _throw_ yourself into a pit of Death Eaters?" Remus whispered accusingly, and Hermione suddenly turned around to face him.

She had not looked him in the face for a while now; he was gaunt and pale, his skin waxy and his face worn. His body was quivering, though from what she couldn't tell. And quite frankly, Remus Lupin looked terrified to be under the scrutiny of Hermione Granger. She blinked and remembered for a vivid moment how handsome he used to be, and how far she had truly fallen for him.

She blinked again, and this time they were at the Prewett's place, Remus facing her angrily while Peter and Sirius stayed at her side. Hermione was trying to make Remus choose between his safety and their safety, because Lily and James were trapped, kidnapped, tortured, and only Hermione knew she could save him. In 1979, it was in those moments that Hermione and Remus diverged, the separation just as fiery as their carnal unions.

Through her tears, Hermione now saw the terrified, worn out old man that stood before her, on the threshold of making the same terrible mistake. Looking back, Hermione knew she had offered Remus no incentive for risking his neck, but had assumed that like everything else, they were one in the same, unceasingly and eternally one.

But she had been wrong.

"Because I love my friends, Remus," Hermione croaked, knowing she would soon crack under the weight of her own memories. "I will die for them in an instant."

"It's very dangerous!" Lupin cried suddenly, looking surprised at how loud his voice was.

"Everything is dangerous," Hermione persisted, taking a step closer to him, wishing she could take him back to that time, twenty years ago, when everything was on the line, to show him how important this choice was.

"You don't know what's in there," Lupin countered, though feebly.

"I've done this before, I can do it again," Hermione promised gently, looking pleadingly into his face.

"Don't do it," Lupin whispered very quietly, staring at the floor. Remus finally looked at her, and it suddenly struck her that he looked ashamed. "Please don't go."

"I can't sit behind like you did!" Hermione sobbed, and Lupin tore his eyes away again, offering nothing to defend himself. "How can you ask me to stay behind and listen to them die? Just like James and Lily!"

"It wasn't my fault," Remus mumbled weakly, trying to take his eyes from Hermione's but failing to do so, unable to escape the guilt she was forcing him to acknowledge.

"Then come with me this time!" Hermione pleaded, holding her hand towards him. "Come with me and save them, and save Tonks, and make up for your past mistakes! _Please_, Remus!"

To both of them, this moment was a bridge that had been avoided for the last twenty years, had been the elephant in the room, had been the single means of heartbreak and the excuse for too many tears. This moment was more significant and life changing than either one of them knew, but it was in that instant that Remus Lupin took Hermione's hand, and nothing else mattered.

Without a moment to waste, they sprinted down the stairs and towards the fireplace. They raced into flames that could not equate to the paramount of heat that was their eyes, their fluttering hearts, or their laced hands, together at last . . . and together for the last time.

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Note:** so Voconex means "Summon Death" in Latin, which I'm always a big fan of. I needed Lucius to be able to call out to his biddies, just like the Order can with their awesome Patronuses. Anywayyyy next chapter will be the last, followed by an epilogue. . . . I can't believe this story is really here! Right at the end! Man, it's like sending my kid off to college . . . If I had a kid, and wasn't going to college for myself . . . Sorrys.

Anyway, my **Faithful Wheezy** is to thank for inspiring me to finish this story. But also thank you to those readers that keep coming back!

**Please review!**


	29. The End of it All

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, just this plot!

**Still So Close to You  
by darkwing731**

((-Chapter Thirty-))  
The End of it All

_"Then come with me this time!" Hermione pleaded, holding her hand towards him. "Come with me and save them, and save Tonks, and make up for your past mistakes! __Please__, Remus!"_

_To both of them, this moment was a bridge that had been avoided for the last twenty years, had been the elephant in the room, had been the single means of heartbreak and the excuse for too many tears. This moment was more significant and life changing than either one of them knew, but it was in that instant that Remus Lupin took Hermione's hand, and nothing else mattered._

_Without a moment to waste, they sprinted down the stairs and towards the fireplace. They raced into flames that could not equate to the paramount of heat that was their eyes, their fluttering hearts, or their laced hands, together at last . . . and together for the last time._

The moment their feet touched solid ground, it became apparent that the peace and quiet that had been intimated from the Dependable Ears was drastically incorrect; all of the furniture was upturned, most of it ripped apart and broken, and there were deep gashes all over from spells and curses that adorned the floors and walls. Parts of the wall had been blown to smithereens, and there simply wasn't a door anymore. A chandelier was dangling threateningly by just a few simple rungs, and the lights were flickering from the disturbance that was coming from above them.

Several crashes echoed from overhead, along with a great boom that shook the floor beneath their feet. A scream, followed by the heavy stampede of feet from the room, was just barely a warning sign as smoke began to sink through the cracks of the ceiling and into the drawing room.

Hermione and Remus fled just in time to escape the collapse of the expensive ceiling, which fell in massive, flaming pieces that not only radiated a blistering heat, but rushed at the open door as if desperate to escape the room itself. The hammering of their feet into the hallway was accompanied by many other sounds: screams of resistance, pain, anger, fear, and perhaps terrible tragedy; the ebb and flow of roared curses, along with the shriek to avoid them; the sickening crunch of a broken bone, the crash of a body to the floor, or the whimper or gasp of someone, terrified.

The hall, normally still and empty to accentuate its prestigious and exquisite characteristics, was filled with the frantic, chaotic, and unceasing movement of countless people, along with smoke and the quick flash of spells, curses, and hexes. When there was a lull in the terrible, unending screech of battle, it was heightened by the sharp, deafening smack of a spell hitting its target, quickly accompanied by a new cacophony of terrible noises.

Frozen in shock by this horrifying scene, Hermione and Remus merely stared at the war before their eyes. In the chaos of the battle, there were splashes of red hair, and fierce snarls that could only be that of a Weasley. Down the hall, Ginny, covered in blood and clearly limping, was desperately trying to escape a Death Eater with jinx after hex, but her newfound cripple was preventing her escape.

Hermione's heart stopped as Ginny finally fell, unable to block the new jinx that her attacker had just sent. Without thinking, without breathing, without seeing, Hermione abandoned Remus and was beside her friend, the snarl of a curse on her lips that overtook the Death Eater in a second.

"Hermione!" Ginny cried, surprised, grabbing at her arms as the Muggleborn hoisted her up.

"You have to get out!" Hermione shouted, ducking as a hex soared over her head and smashed the wall behind her. "We all have to get out of here!"

Throwing an arm around Hermione's shoulder, Ginny was half dragged through the battle as their comrades fought around them. George was laughing humorlessly at a Death Eater as he avoided a dark purple streak of light, and Mr. Weasley was currently restraining another Death Eater that had fallen to the floor. Throughout the hall, there were many Order members still fighting just as fiercely as Ginny had, but were also losing steam.

Narrowly avoiding injury, Hermione and Ginny went as fast as they could to the drawing room, and were horrified to find it completely engulfed in flames. They could barely hear each other over the roar of the fight, and barely made the backtracking to the front foyer, as a new regiment of Death Eaters began to flood from the grand staircase.

Bursting into the cold night air, Hermione and Ginny's sigh of relief was instantly erased as the fountain up ahead of them suddenly exploded, and a brigade of fighters blocked the pathway to the main gates. The inky darkness of the night was illuminated in irregular streaks of light, and Hermione and Ginny stood helplessly as they searched their blank minds for ideas.

"It's that filthy Mudblood!" somebody shrieked, and the cloaked figures that had been so concentrated on their opponents turned their attention to her.

"Hermione, run!" Ginny screamed.

"Not without you!" she shouted, grabbing Ginny's arm and dragging her with an uncanny speed back to the house. However, even with the adrenaline that seemed to replace every molecule in her body urged her forward, she could not avoid the aftermath of the explosion right in front of her. A blinding curse destroyed the front door, sending Hermione and Ginny reeling backwards down the front steps and onto the feet of the Death Eaters. Their towering, grim figures loomed above them, and Ginny and Hermione, screaming, tried to scramble away as their leader raised a wand.

"_Avada—_"

"_STUPEFY_!"

Then, without warning, there were hands lifting Hermione and Ginny from the ground, heavenly hands that pushed them away from the terror and protected them against these new Death Eaters. Immediately taking this opportunity to flee, the two girls dashed inside and returned to the chaos. George and Mr. Weasley had now paired up; Tonks was sprinting down the hallway past them, a Death Eater fast on her tail, while Ron suddenly leapt from a room and jumped behind a bench just to have it explode moments afterwards. There was a deep rumbling, a noise that reverberated in the hall over all the noise, and in Hermione's chest, and then the scene in front of them melted away into a dream, a nightmare, a fantasy: a great tidal wave had burst from the drawing room, crashing against the opposite wall and swallowing up anything nearby. Death Eaters and Order members alike screamed in terror, running for their lives, and the great wave raced down the hall, taking everything with it.

"RUN!" Hermione shrieked, and the girls hastily turned and jumped back outside, throwing themselves over the balcony railing and into the bushes, crawling as far as they could to the right away from the door.

The great rumbling became a deafening roar and the Manor groaned as the pressure of the water surging through the front door demanded a bigger passageway; the house cracked, and the frame of the door suddenly snapped, and there was a colossal burst of water as the front façade finally gave way. All of the fighters outside on the path shouted in surprise as the rough wave overcame them, gobbling them up in its depths. The frigid waters met its match as it finally died down, spreading out over the great land and sinking in the ground, puddles and rivulets left behind.

"Are you sure that was _just_ Aguamenti?" asked a familiar voice, and Hermione and Ginny sat up in surprise.

In the newly destroyed doorway of the Malfoy Manor stood Neville and Luna, looking slightly concerned but moreover interested in what was going on. The girl with large, dreamy eyes was examining her wand absentmindedly.

"Daddy always said more is better than not enough," Luna replied in a singsong voice.

"Luna?" Ginny cried, standing up.

"That was _your_ charm?" Hermione spluttered, indicating the now soaked ground that surrounded them.

"Well there was a fire!" Luna replied, nodding earnestly.

"What?" Ginny and Hermione asked together.

"In the room where we Flooed in!" Neville supplied. "Nearly got burned, too."

"Somebody had to put it out," Luna said with a curt nod, and then turned her round eyes to the scene around her. "Do you think they're alright?"

"It doesn't matter!" Hermione cried. "We've all got to get out of here!"

"But we've just arrived!" answered a new voice. Fred and Dean Thomas were now standing in the doorway, looking indignant. "Don't send us home already!"

"People are getting hurt!" Hermione yelled. "And how—Dean how did you get here?"

"Harry got us all together," Dean answered, pulling a fat coin out of his pocket. "Most of the DA is here already, thanks to Luna's charm."

"Harry's here?" Ginny asked at once.

"Not yet," Fred answered. "He said he was going to make sure that everyone arrived here before he came."

"Oh, this is terrible," Hermione moaned. "We could all be killed here! We all need to leave!"

"I hate to say this, but coming here was _your_ idea . . ." Ginny pointed out cautiously.

"I was under the impression that Tonks was putting Ears in the Manor so we could collect information!" Hermione cried, looking torn between defending herself and admitting her mistake. "I didn't organize this rescue mission!"

"Regardless, we can't just stand here and argue!" Fred said quickly as Ginny opened her mouth to retort. "I saw Ron, he's really hurt, but alive. And dad isn't young anymore. If we don't need to fight we should get out of here."

"Then why is everyone _here_?" Hermione shouted angrily.

"Ask Harry, not me," Fred answered.

"Ask me what?" Ginny squealed and ran to Harry, who held her tightly in his arms. "We needed more people, Hermione. I mean, look at all these Death Eaters. This wasn't a five person mission."

"Then let's get everyone rounded up _now_ while everyone is still paralyzed from Luna's water charm!" Hermione said exasperatedly. "Everyone! Now! Find an Order member and get them to the drawing room to Floo them out, and stun any Death Eaters that are waking up!"

For a moment, everyone looked uncertainly at each other, as if merely rescuing the Order members was not the original plan but an impulsive one. But when Hermione jumped up and approached everyone who was unconscious by the fountain, Dean, Luna, Neville, Harry, Fred, and Ginny began to move quickly as well. Everyone except for Harry and Ginny went inside, and Hermione turned a blind eye to their affections, knowing that Harry was enormously relieved to find Ginny unhurt.

Yet, despite Hermione's good intentions and promising idea, the moment she stunned the first waking Death Eater, they all began to wake at once, rising groggily around her tense body. "Harry," Hermione called over to him, beginning to tremble. When he didn't respond, and when there were now several upright Death Eaters, Hermione screamed, "HARRY!"

The scream startled not only Harry and Ginny, but all of the Death Eaters around her, as well as some of the waking Order members. Scrambling to get to her feet and away from the danger, she shot spell after spell before someone finally fought back. The blue curse narrowly missed her head, but did hit a shrubbery, which burst into flames. Harry and Ginny joined her and were shouting spells, now engaged in their own duels as the Death Eaters were fully awake.

"THAT'S POTTER!" a female Death Eater screamed, jumping forward to curse him.

"_Progoto_!" Hermione snarled, and then said, "Run!"

Not needing to be reminded, the three of them turned and fled back into the hall, where the same situation met their eyes. Dumbledore's Army was panicking because now everyone had come to, and realizing that the fight was still to be fought. However, Hermione urged Harry and Ginny on past the fighters.

"We need to get out of here!" Hermione cried. "There are too many Death Eaters, we can't handle this!"

"But surely all the Floo powder has been destroyed!" Ginny reminded Hermione in a shout, which was necessary with all the commotion around them.

"If we get off of the property, we can apparate out!" Harry suggested, ducking to avoid a spell.

"We can't just abandon everyone!" Hermione said, looking scandalized. "_Look out_!"

The three of them dove to the floor as a set of vicious curses soared overhead, clambering to get away from the Death Eaters who had cast them. Crawling quickly through a large hole in the wall, which was still smoldering slightly, they happened to climb onto Ron, who was lying unconscious on the floor. With a surprised cry, Hermione dove to his still body, pressing a few fingers to his neck. The fear that had snatched her senses away began to fade as relief took over her body, for Ron was just unconscious.

"We have to get him out of here, Harry," Hermione said, looking forlorn and terrified. "What would've happened if we hadn't found him?"

"You're right," Harry agreed, quickly glancing out into the cavernous hallway which was still flooded with battle. "How we'll get him out of here is the question."

"Look!" Ginny said, pointing behind them. "We can break through that front window, levitate him out, and then get off the Manor grounds and apparate!"

"It's worth a shot," Harry said, but even so, sent Hermione a grim look.

As Harry checked once again that no Death Eaters were about to prance into the room, Hermione hurriedly vanished the glass of the window, which arched gracefully over a torn and charred window seat. She and Ginny leapt out, falling into the bushes, but urged Harry along in whispers as Ron's body floated into their hands.

"Got him?" Harry asked as he watched Ron's body sag to the ground under the supervision of Hermione. She nodded breathlessly, checking Ron's pulse again, and with a sigh of relief began to hoist himself out of the window.

Just as his foot was establishing stable contact with the ground, the wall that they had crawled through suddenly erupted in flames, and with a loud crash, was decimated, giving the room a violent shake. Harry yelped as he fell head first into the bushes, and as he rolled over on the ground, a triumphant voice screamed, "_THERE THEY ARE_!"

"GO!" Harry bellowed, and suddenly Harry, Hermione and Ginny were supporting Ron's body while simultaneously sprinting across the grounds; pursuing them was another regiment of Death Eaters, vaulting themselves out of the window with victorious roars.

"The gates, the gates!" Ginny shouted as they galloped past the demolished fountain, destroyed walkway, and towards the gated entrance.

But without warning, a sharp crack rippled through the air, and now directly in their path was a Death Eater. Shouting incoherently, the group swerved to the left, only to be blocked by another Death Eater, which prompted them to jump jerkily in the other direction. This time, when they were met with the same obstacle, the group which had been so well comprised suddenly fell apart; Hermione stayed at Ron's head, but Harry leapt backwards, falling onto Ron and also accidentally shoving Ginny to the side, which jerked Ron's unmoving body to one side. By the time they had managed to create any sort of order, they were completely surrounded.

The three of them only had a moment to be utterly terrified before there was a vociferous roar from the Malfoy Manor, and all those that had been fighting the dark army were now charging at full speed towards the ring of Death Eaters. Harry, Hermione, and Ginny could only stare as the dark night was suddenly illuminated with spells and bright lights, flashing and whirring, disrupting any sort of silent fear. At this new distraction, the Death Eaters turned to fight their returning enemy, and Hermione seized Ron underneath the armpits and began to drag him as quickly as she could across the grounds.

"Not so fast, Mudblood!" sneered a voice, and Ron's body was snatched from her.

"No!" Hermione cried, diving to recover him. Yet, as her body fell on top of Ron's, there was a swift kick to her side, sending her reeling to the ground in pain, and invasive hands that stole the wand straight from her hands.

"Deal with it!" cackled the voice again.

"How does it feel," asked a cold, quiet voice that was hauntingly familiar, "to be back on the ground where you belong?"

"I'm not as much as an animal as you are!" Hermione snarled, making a grab for Ron's body again. "I might be Muggleborn but I will always be ten times the wizard you'll ever be!"

"_Hermione_!" shouted a panicked voice, and as she turned her head sharply to search for her caller, the Death Eater spat out, "_Crucio_!"

"NO!" roared the Order member, flinging himself into a fully fledged attack on the Death Eater as Hermione's agonizing screams finally faded.

Panting, and cradling her head which was now throbbing in pain, she turned over to clutch Ron's body, and to catch of glimpse of Remus Lupin, who was fiercely battling the Death Eater. Struck with horror, Hermione watched transfixed as Remus dueled, the weary lines of his face heightened as the flashing wand light soared by his body.

For a moment, Remus caught her eye and saw that all she was doing was staring at him in horror. "Run, Hermione!" he commanded, ducking to avoid a purple jet of light.

"I can't!" she cried, feeling tears well up in her eyes.

But her resistance caused Remus to look at her for a split second, as if to reprimand her, and that split second cost him the duel. With a surprised cry, Remus was struck squarely in the chest and sent him sprawling onto the ground behind him.

"You filthy half-breed!" snarled the Death Eater as Remus began to struggle off the ground. "_Cruc_—" but was interrupted as Hermione launched herself straight into the knees of the Death Eater. They toppled onto the ground, and as Hermione scrambled to get away from him, the hood obscuring his face fell back.

It was Lucius Malfoy.

A horrified, disgusted feeling rose up immediately within Hermione, and she crawled away as fast as her body would allow her to, watching with frozen eyes as he stood from the ground and glared at her with a radiating fury.

"Must you ruin everything for me, Mudblood?" he asked softly, grey eyes narrowed to dangerous slits.

"Run, Hermione," Remus croaked as he began to hoist himself from the ground; he was bleeding from his mouth, and from his temple, and his right arm seemed to be hanging from a funny angle.

Lucius cast him an annoyed look before turning back to Hermione with purpose. "I should've taken care of you years ago. _Avada Kedavra_!"

It seemed that, without warning, a great hush fell over the earth, and everyone around them became muted and slow, their movements sluggish and uneven. Those around Hermione who were still battling, still fighting, still _living_, could not move as accurately as the jet of light racing towards her, which had erupted from a terrible wand with a brilliant explosion of light. All around her, the earth stood still as her destiny sped towards her, wiping all but one terrified thought from her mind: _Remus_.

And then, an unexpected silhouette was sharp against the great blast of light, hurdling faster and more precisely than this deathly curse, creating a shield in which to protect her mortal body. Surely this was an angel, a heavenly messenger sent to prolong her life?

But a moment later, the raging battle exploded around her, and the movement which had been so sluggish, those sounds which had been so muted, burst back into a loud, terrible life as they fought on. The heels of Lucius Malfoy that had previously stood before her chuckled humorlessly before turning to walk away, leaving her completely and utterly alone.

For dead on the ground in front of her was Remus Lupin.

Hermione felt very numb, as if all of her senses had been suddenly surged with energy, and then, just as unexpectedly, were fried until they were useless. She felt as if she had been dropped into an ice bath, forced to stay under to suck in the icy water so that she would be entirely immobile for the rest of her life. There was a distinct noise in her ears: it was loud and piercing, an agonized cry, a tragic, mournful sound, and hands shaking her body very violently.

Something enormous within her reared up its ugly head, demanding to be freed from her body, pressing on anything to be released. Her cheeks were wet now, shining in the night as the world continued to turn around her while the battle went on. The wet, tangible misery that poured down her face in unacknowledged rivulets slowly soothed the best within her that was dying to be freed, and when it seemed she could cry no more, she felt as if she was nothing, had nothing, could be nothing, and could do nothing.

Remus Lupin was dead. There was nothing for her left to be.

"Hermione!"

Said girl did not register as Harry Potter came rushing over to her, grabbing her and shaking her to wake her from her terrible reverie. She knelt before Remus Lupin's unmoving body, still as stone, rigid and surely now as lifeless as the werewolf.

"Hermione, _get up_, we have to—"

He was interrupted by a horrible cackling that was growing louder. Looking sharply up, Harry spotted the Death Eater that was approaching them.

"Finally got what he deserved, didn't he, Mudblood?" sneered a voice with a derisive shriek of laughter; Hermione did not move from her stony vigil, or even blink at the Death Eater's words. "Pity I didn't get to do it myself."

"Get out of here," Harry growled, standing up with his wand brandished threateningly.

The Death Eater screeched with laughter again. "Please, Potty, what are you going to do to me?" The Death Eater turned their wand to Hermione, who had not moved from her shocked position.

"I'll kill you!" Harry roared, stepping in front of Hermione protectively.

"Kill me?" asked the Death Eater in a sickeningly sweet tone. "I don't think you want to do that."

"And why not? You're a filthy excuse for a human—"

"Let me tell you a story about a filthy excuse for a human!" the Death Eater said sharply, before laughing coldly again. "Once upon a time, this Mudblood that you're protecting went back in time and became best mates with your foolish parents."

"What?" Harry ejaculated, scoffing.

"No," Hermione croaked suddenly, looking up at the Death Eater. Slowly, as if to taunt Hermione, the Death Eater reached up and drew back the hood of their cloak, revealing the contour and angles to the face of Pansy Parkinson; Harry gasped, but Hermione, already pale, blanched.

"Oh yes, Granger," Pansy said with a grim smile, now beginning to walk around Harry and Hermione as if circling her prey. "Yes Potter, for seven months your beloved Mudblood was stuck with your parents and all of their idiotic friends."

"This—this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Harry said at last, gaping as he looked between Pansy and Hermione. The uneasy feeling in his stomach heightened as he realized how terrified Hermione suddenly looked, and the triumphant expression on Pansy's face. "Hermione, she's lying, isn't she? I mean, come on—"

"She could've saved your parents, Potter!" Pansy interjected; "Best friends with Evans, and Pettigrew, and everyone else. All she had to say was _watch out _and you would've had a normal life."

"Shut up, Parkinson," Harry snapped, jabbing his wand aggressively in the air.

"What, did I hit a nerve?" Pansy mocked. "Don't you wish you could've led a normal life? One where your parents were here fighting instead of you?"

"_Shut up_," Harry growled again.

"Don't you ever wonder what it would've been like, Potter? Why don't you ask your little Mudblood friend! After all, she was with that filthy werewolf and having a go with your parents, she would know best."

"SHUT UP!" Harry bellowed at last, and without warning slashed at the air; Pansy ducked, as she had been expecting this any moment, and shot back a stream of grey light. Harry tucked and rolled just in time, but as he leapt off the ground to face her, he found that Pansy's wand was right in his face.

Pansy had dropped the gruesome smile and laugh and now looked positively dangerous. "Yes, Potter, believe this unbelievable story, because it's very, _very_ true. Seventh months without even a word of warning . . . and seventh months spent betraying your parents and their friends, and you and your idiotic friends, and even the Order of the Phoenix."

"You're a liar," Harry snarled in a low voice.

"Am I?" Pansy asked quietly, and silently withdrew a picture from within her robes.

At first Harry would not take his eyes from Pansy's, knowing that the wand in his face would attack without warning, but the moment his peripheral vision saw the contents of the picture, it was all he could do from snatching it away from Pansy's hand.

Because there, in the torn and old photo, was Hermione Granger kissing _Lucius Malfoy_.

"What is this?" Harry cried, eyes widened in disgust. Disregarding the wand in his face, he turned to look back at Hermione. "What—What is this?" But all Hermione did was look up at Harry with large, fearful eyes.

Turning back to Pansy, he could say nothing, for he was dumbstruck at the appearance of this photograph. Pansy grinned devilishly; "Not only did she fraternize with the enemy, Potter, but she gave us all the information we needed to destroy you and all of your simpleton friends. Your little Mudblood is a _traitor_."

"Liar," Harry accused again, though the venom that had laced his voice was now absent, and he seemed very shaken.

"She could've saved them all, Potter," Pansy spat. "And the little whore betrayed Weasel too! Didn't you know she was sleeping with this excuse for a human being?" she asked, jerking her head to the body of Remus Lupin, which Hermione was now clutching tightly.

"This is all a lie," Harry whispered, taking a step back from Pansy. "None of this is true. This isn't—"

"Yes it is!" Pansy snarled, jabbing her wand back in Harry's face. "It's all true! And it's all because of me! I revealed her for what she truly is! The Dark Lord trusted _me_ to do this and no one else, and now you see how stupid you are for trusting her!"

"Get away from me," Harry hissed, jerking his own wand into Harry's face.

"I am the only one the Dark Lord could trust to bring her down, to bring you down!"

"_Get away_!" Harry snarled, slashing the air suddenly; Pansy, taking off guard, fell to the ground with a cry of pain.

But on the ground she leered up at him and cackled, pulling back her sleeve to reveal the deadly tattoo on her forearm. "I will be worshipped for aiding in your death."

The moment Pansy's fingers touched the Dark Mark, Harry's head exploded in pain; his knees collapsed beneath him, and his body fell hard onto a cold, lumpy mass that happened to be Ron, still unconscious. Somewhere in front of him, Pansy was shrieking in laughter, Hermione was sobbing quietly, and inside his head he heard the faint voice, cold and high and furious . . .

And then there was screaming, both terrified and furious, but Harry could not even begin to open his eyes, let alone see the chaos around him, for his head was surely splitting in two . . . There were people grabbing at him, buffeting him, yelling at him. . . or perhaps this was all insider his head . . . Then, as if everything else had been a dream and this was the one real thing he knew he could count on, there was a vice grip on his arm, and the compression of his body into a single molecule before he was finally set free into unconsciousness.

_-x-x-x-_

"Harry, mate, you alive?"

With a groan, Harry opened his eyes with great difficulty and blinked groggily up at the ceiling. Directly in his line of vision was Ron Weasley, who was now grinning into his face, looking enormously relieved.

"What happened?" Harry asked, sitting up and looking around. To his left, Hermione's still body was on the couch, and Harry realized with a start that they were back in Grimmauld Place.

"Dumbledore showed up same time as You-Know-Who," Ron said, throwing a glance at Hermione's body as well. "She's just asleep now," Ron added as Harry stared at her. "Apparently Dumbledore had been chasing Voldemort around the country or something with Kingsley, trying to stake out all of his safe houses and find patterns or something."

"How did he know to go to the Malfoy Manor?" Harry asked.

"Well, he knew Tonks was there apparently, and knew that no one would dare call You-Know-Who unless they really had you . . ."

"That's true," Harry agreed quietly. "Is everyone alright? Is everyone back?"

At these questions, Ron became very still and his face paled underneath his freckles. "Dean Thomas was killed. And so was Lupin. Tonks is a mess," Ron added in a whisper. "As I expect her to be, but still . . ."

"What about Hermione?" Harry asked quietly.

"She's fine . . ." Ron said after a moment's hesitation. "When she came to, she wouldn't talk to me at all . . . Dumbledore said they found her right next to Lupin, so she must've seen him die. I imagine she's still in shock."

"Yeah . . ." Harry said absently, his mind instantly reliving the scene that had scarred his mind. "Where is everyone?"

"They took the bodies to Saint Mungo's," Ron said quietly, still looking over at Hermione with a concerned look. "To determine the exact cause of death and to clean up their bodies . . ."

After this, the two boys could say nothing more, and awkwardly avoided each other's gazes to keep from revealing their inner emotions. Ron sat down next to Hermione and pulled her halfway onto his lap, stroking her hair absentmindedly while he savored what memories he could of Lupin and Dean, but Harry could not do this. Unable to sit still with Ron, Harry trudged up to his room, trying desperately to block Pansy's words from his head but failing miserably.

The moment Hermione was awake, Harry demanded to talk to her alone. Receiving very suspicious looks from Ron, Harry shut and locked the door behind him as Hermione silently filed into Harry's room, sitting down on the bed with a stony look on her face.

Harry stared at her for a moment, before blurting, "Is it true?"

The only indication Hermione gave that she had heard him was that she closed her eyes slowly, and her body seemed to sag with a heavy weight. However, she remained taciturn.

"Well?" Harry asked again, more forcefully this time. "Was Parkinson lying or not?"

"No," Hermione said, very quietly.

An odd feeling crept up Harry's throat, as if he were about to vomit. "Are you telling me," Harry began slowly, "that you _did_ go back in time and meet my parents?"

"Yes," she answered colorlessly, staring at the floor.

"For seven months," Harry stated, now glaring at her as she nodded.

"And you didn't say anything to them? When you knew they were going to die?"

"The Laws of Magic state that—"

"I COULD'VE HAD A FAMILY!" Harry roared suddenly. "I COULD'VE HAD A NORMAL LIFE IF YOU HAD JUST OPENED YOUR MOUTH—"

"Dumbledore said I couldn't reveal myself—"

"YOU COULDN'T EVEN SAY, WATCH OUT FOR PETER? HE'S GOING TO ENABLE YOUR DEATHS?"

"No," Hermione uttered, closing her eyes once again.

"And you were sleeping with Lupin the whole time?" Harry snared, his chest heaving from his previous rage.

"We fell in love," Hermione replied in a hollow voice.

"And you never told Ron?" Harry said in an outraged voice.

"No," Hermione said again.

Hermione could feel the daggers that Harry was glaring at her, but the heat that punctured her mind from his infuriated rage did not penetrate the surface of her skin, or her heart, or even her conscience. In fact, there was no where that he could touch that would've made a difference to Hermione, because there was nothing left inside of her to destroy. Everything had been taken away from her, and everything was gone.

There was a sharp snap as the door suddenly slammed, and the spiraling silence that enveloped Hermione was an almost welcome loneliness. Taking in a slow, deep breath, Hermione stood and made her way back to her own room, knowing that without the comfort of Remus Lupin's living presence, there was simply nothing left for her to life for.

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Note:** sorry that took so long to get out! I got stuck in some places! Anyway, one more chapter, and then the epilogue. I really promise this time =) PS- I realize Harry's confrontation was rather skimmed over, as was the learning of Hermione's time traveling mishaps, but I promise those will be addressed as well!

Once again, thank you **Faithful Wheezy** and all those who continue to enjoy my story as much as I do!

**Please review!**


	30. Impossible

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter, just this plotline and some original characters!

**Still So Close to You  
by darkwing731**

((-Chapter Thirty One-))  
Impossible

_Hermione could feel the daggers that Harry was glaring at her, but the heat that punctured her mind from his infuriated rage did not penetrate the surface of her skin, or her heart, or even her conscience. In fact, there was no where that he could touch that would've made a difference to Hermione, because there was nothing left inside of her to destroy. Everything had been taken away from her, and everything was gone._

_There was a sharp snap as the door suddenly slammed, and the spiraling silence that enveloped Hermione was an almost welcome loneliness. Taking in a slow, deep breath, Hermione stood and made her way back to her own room, knowing that without the comfort of Remus Lupin's living presence, there was simply nothing left for her to life for._

That night, Grimmauld Place was full of people, but the normal cheer that accompanied guests was blatantly absent; there was an unspeakable but tangible sadness that hung over everyone, that clouded all of their thoughts and haunted their conversations. Each one of them was questioning the blood in their veins, the liquid of life, that bestowed upon them the ability to breathe, to love, to be, and which had been so cruelly taken away from Remus Lupin and Dean Thomas.

As guests filed into Grimmauld Place for the meeting that night, the normal chatter was replaced with an eerie silence, only accentuated by the empty chair at the table normally reserved for Remus Lupin. Those members of Dumbledore's Army that had survived stood around the edges of the room while the others sat without a word. Finally, Dumbledore broke the tense silence.

"For the past several years, this heartless war has taken a great toll on us. Many of us have experienced unimaginable hardships, while others have had to endure the sting of loss for time and time again. Recently, we have lost two people very dear to us . . ."

At these words, there was a very strange thing that happened that no one could really quite explain. Hermione Granger slumped in her chair, her eyes closing in fluttering motion, while Harry Potter turned and glared at her. While Dumbledore continued to grieve and give penance to those that had been killed, Harry sat back in his seat and kept his narrowed eyes on Hermione, who had turned an ashen shade of grey.

Later that evening, when supper had been laid out and the members of the Order of the Phoenix sat down for dinner, Ginny seized Harry by the elbow and pulled him into the sitting room. "What is wrong with you?" Ginny hissed. "And what the hell did Hermione do to you? Can't you leave her alone?"

"Leave it alone, Ginny," Harry snapped back. "You don't know what she did."

"Yeah?" retorted Ginny fiercely. "Try me!"

"You wouldn't believe me, and you'd go prancing about to Hermione to snitch—"

"You have no idea what's going on with her, how can you—"

"She ruined my life!" Harry shouted across Ginny's defensive words, leaving them with a ringing silence. "She could've saved my parents." Ginny glared at Harry, causing him to scoff and walk away. "See? I told you that you wouldn't believe me."

"Harry, she couldn't just go and tell them! Dumbledore told her not to, and if she had, she would've been eaten alive! Don't you get it?"

Ginny's words did not make sense at first, but then he realized that she was going along with his story, that she was playing into this idea—that she _knew_. Harry wheeled around to face her, eyes bulging. "You—you know—?"

"Of course I know," Ginny huffed with an annoyed roll of her eyes. "Hermione's my best friend, you don't think she told me?"

"But—but—"

"You can't hold this against her, Harry," Ginny warned, pressing on. "She didn't volunteer to go back in time and meet your parents."

"But she could've stayed away from them!" Harry protested, suddenly roused again. "There was no reason for her to be friends with them!"

"Except that she was in Gryffindor, and in the same dorm as Lily, and just as smart as Lupin, so there was no way they weren't going to notice her."

"I suppose you know about how she was sleeping with Lupin?" Harry blurted, changing gears, for he was feeling slightly attacked. "She didn't have to go and do that, it was cruel and foolish—"

"It wasn't like she whored herself to him!" Ginny cried. "It wasn't like she just _jumped_ on him—"

"Hermione could've stayed away from him though—"

"What's going on?" asked a suspicious voice. Ginny and Harry, who had snarling nose to nose, whipped around to see Ron in the doorway, looking confused.

"Nothing—"

"Just fighting about stuff—"

"Harry's being a right jerk, you see—"

"Ginny's not telling the truth—"

"What were you saying about Hermione?" Ron asked quietly. Harry and Ginny exchanged a quick look, something that did not escape Ron. "Who was she with?"

Harry gave Ginny a pointed look, while the youngest Weasley was visibly torn with what to do. "Ron," Ginny started weakly. "It's not what you think. It's a very long, complicated story . . ."

"I have time," Ron said simply, and sat down in the nearest chair, looking wearily to his best friend and his sister. Ron, who was normally jealous beyond all control, hot headed and irrational, looked tired and worn out, and ready to accept whatever curve ball they were going to throw at him.

"I don't think—" Ginny began uncertainly, but then Harry sat down next to his friend, looking determined.

"I want to hear the full story as well," Harry announced, crossing his arms over his chest. Ginny looked between them, gaping, her mouth full of words she could not express and her head full of concern she could not expel.

"She found the Book of Mischief," Ginny offered at last. "That day during your seventh year when—"

"This happened in seventh year?" Harry interrupted, looking both astonished and unsettled.

"In your seventh year, yes. She was thrown back to 1978, which was the seventh year of your parents, Harry. And also for Lupin, Sirius, and Pettigrew. Dumbledore assigned Lily to Hermione so she could get accustomed faster. She made friends with the Marauders well enough, and everything was alright for a while." Here, Ginny broke off, chewing her lip and trying to glance furtively at Ron. "She, erm, sort of had a thing with Lupin for a while right off the bat, but that went wrong after a bit…"

Ron sank back in his chair and closed his eyes, but said nothing. His face did not flush scarlet, nor did he start to crack his knuckles menacingly like he did whenever the mention of Hermione's other romances arose. Ginny, who thought that this calm behavior was all the more unnerving, did not want to continue, but persisted after Harry glared.

"Then, she, erm, started to have some trouble . . ."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked quickly.

"Well, err, there was this boy that—erm—you know—"

"Pansy Parkinson showed me a picture of Hermione snogging someone," Harry interjected suddenly, his face stormy with anger. "Does this _boy_ have anything to do with that picture?"

"Yes," Ginny answered tentatively, "But—"

"I knew it!" Harry snarled. "She was with Malfoy too!"

"What?" Ron gasped as Ginny cried, "_No_!"

"Parkinson showed me a picture of Hermione and _Lucius Malfoy_—"

"He forced her!" Ginny interrupted in a panicked cry before Ron could take in the false information. "She hated him, but he made her!"

"That's such hogwash, Ginny," Harry snapped, but she gave him a sharp look.

"How would you know, Harry?" Ginny snarled; Harry fell silent, sinking back into his original spot next to Ron, looking thoroughly disgruntled. "As I was _saying_, she was forced to be around Malfoy for extended periods of time because they were partners in Potions. At one point or another, Lupin started dating this Slytherin girl, and Hermione still fancied him, and Malfoy was trying to bed her . . . things got terribly out of hand," Ginny concluded, wringing her hands nervously.

"And that's it," Harry said flatly.

"That is _not_ it!" Ginny said hotly. "She tried making Lupin jealous by dating Malfoy, but then when he started stalking her—"

"_What_?" Harry and Ron exclaimed.

"He knew that she was Hermione," Ginny said quietly. "Her pseudonym was Jane Lewis but somehow, Malfoy knew her real identity and situation, and was using it against her. And when Hermione wouldn't comply with Malfoy they started cutting off everything that was making her sane . . . Malfoy manipulated her and the Marauders, as did the girls from the Illimni . . ."

As the story became very complex and intricate, Harry and Ron interrupted less and less, listening to Ginny with rapt attention and often exchanging looks of horror or confusion, or a sudden epiphany that was soon confirmed moments later. By the time Ginny had reached the end of Hermione's journey, Harry and Ron were no longer angry or pale, but rather thunderstruck.

". . . And he told her it was just a Delirium Charm, and that she had to move on with life because what had happened was just a dream. But it wasn't just a dream, because she had the necklace he had given her for Christmas. She's been trying to move past that day ever since seventh year," Ginny finished in a low voice, giving her brother a significant look. "When you three graduated, it would've been alright to be with him, but she stayed with you, Ron."

Ron, who appeared to be swallowing a great lump in his throat, whispered hoarsely, "Really?"

"And you," Ginny said, rounding on Harry. "You have to apologize to her!"

"Yeah, I-I will," Harry promised weakly to Ginny's steely eyed look.

"Good! Because I know she's devastated even though she moved on from him. Regardless of their relationship, watching someone die cannot be taken lightly." She turned and looked at each of them as if daring to be contradicted, and when she was not, she said, "She'll certainly be scarred for life."

Several floors up above them, as if existing solely to prove Ginny's point, the taciturn and utterly still body of Hermione Granger was perched on the edge of her mattress, staring blankly across the dark room as if she must do nothing else; her eyes were glassy and empty, lifeless even, and her skin seemed to sag and whither at the edges of her eyes and mouth as if hinting at decades that had just recently gone by.

In her direct line of vision, in her peripherals, in her mind, there was only one image that she could see, that she could comprehend, and that she could hold onto: _Remus Lupin was dead_. In a matter of weeks she had fallen irreversibly in love with him, had spent years getting over his denial, and would forever face a lifetime living the reality of his death. Before him, she was just Hermione, but after him, she was everything she was meant to be: perfect, fulfilled, limitless. But without him, she was nothing.

Minutes blurred into hours which blurred into days, and soon, everything was the same grey, dull, and pointless life that Hermione was forced to lead. There was always an empty chair that had been saved for Remus, always a spot that suggested his presence, always something to trigger a memory that would spring suddenly before her eyes, forcing her to relive those moments that Remus could not.

"Hermione?" Whenever someone called her name, there was a twinge of hope that perhaps Remus had tricked her, and was finally revealing himself. But always she was sorely disappointed.

Today, it was Ron that had deceived her. It was alarmingly obvious to the rest of Grimmauld Place that Hermione had fallen into a serious depression, often staying cooped up in her room without so much as a word, giving no indication that she wanted to eat or socialize. The girl would not even read, which tipped off Ron that something grave was happening. Wasting away before him, she would barely even respond to him unless consistently talked to.

"Hermione? I want you to try and eat this, alright?" Ron said tenderly, sitting down beside her on the edge of her mattress. She sat staring at the opposite wall, her eyes glazed over and quite hollow.

Offering her a soup, Ron pushed it into her hands and said, a little louder, "It's got lots of good things in it to help you feel better. Please eat some." Hermione gave no indication that Ron was even in the room, much less that he was talking to her. "Hermione, _you have to eat_."

Like a child that had been given an ultimatum, Hermione finally lowered her eyes to the soup that Ron had before her. One of Mrs. Weasley's special concoctions, it would strengthen the weak and cheer up even the gloomiest of people. Ron slowly and carefully began to lift the spoon to her mouth, relieved that she was eating it even if she was doing so wordlessly. Feeding her until every last drop was gone, Ron finally put down the dish and sunk back into the bed, gazing at Hermione's back.

"I'm very worried about you, you know," Ron murmured in a quiet voice. "You haven't come out of here in a week. I haven't heard your voice in forever. You won't eat, and you won't sleep, and you won't even _read_, Hermione."

An aggravated sigh escaped his lips before he began to wrap his fingers through the thick tendrils of her hair. He sat up beside her and gazed at her sadly, but lovingly. "I'll do anything I can to make you better, Hermione. Anything. I don't think you realize how much I love you—"

_Not as much as I loved Remus_—

"—But I will do anything for you. I need you to get better. I don't know how to get on without you, Hermione. You're everything I have, everything I know . . . Before Lupin died, it seemed that way for you too, didn't it?"

_I was always his_—

"But Ginny told me what happened between you two. And it was years ago, and you've been with me for so long. Much longer than you were with him . . . and that's got to count for something, doesn't it, Hermione?"

_Remus and I were two parts of the same soul_—

"And I thought . . . I wanted to prove that to you then. And I want to prove that to you now, Hermione. That you are everything I have, and please let this be enough to pull you out of this depression. I love you more than anything, Hermione . . ."

Ron was nervously reaching into his cloak, and Hermione's still body twitched a little as he withdrew a little black box. Her glossy eyes were suddenly following his movements, and her mouth, which had not moved in so long, became a very thin line. Pale even beneath his freckles, Ron opened the box to reveal a diamond ring, looking to her uncertainly.

_No—_

_Anything but this—_

_Remus—_

_I can't marry him—_

_Remus—_

"I had planned to do this much sooner," Ron muttered sheepishly, putting the box down gently beside her. "But I could never find a time to do it . . . and I never accounted for any of this happening. But I can't go back and change it. I can't change how I feel about you, and that without you, I would be wasting away like you are. So . . ." He was getting off the bed slowly, getting down on one knee and opening the box to her; "Will you marry me, Hermione Granger?"

_This is ridiculous—_

_How can he expect me to do this—_

_I am only meant for Remus—_

"I need you, Hermione," Ron pleaded, looking up into her eyes. He took her left hand suddenly, and she followed his fingers as he fixed the ring on her finger without waiting for her approval. "Please. I am nothing without you," he whispered, pressing his forehead against her hand.

_I am nothing without Remus—_

_He is nothing without me—_

_No matter the pain we go through, I will always be still so close to you . . ._

"Ron," Hermione croaked, her voice cracking from misuse. Ron's head snapped back as if shocked by the noise, as if it wasn't her voice, but a trick of some sort. But Hermione was looking straight into his eyes, her cracked lips parted and quivering with indecision.

"Please," he begged, gripping both her hands now. "You don't understand, Hermione. You've been up here all along and I've been going crazy, not knowing what to do or how to help you or even how to help myself. . . I can't function without you . . ."

_But Remus—_

_I can't betray him—_

_Ron helped me move on for so many years—_

_But Remus—_

_Remus is dead._

_Ron saved me from withering away before—_

_Remus—_

_Now the tables have turned—_

"Yes," Hermione rasped, looking down at the winking jewel on her left ring finger. With a cry of delight, Ron flung himself on top of her in unrestrained joy, holding her tightly and whispering into her neck, tears squeezing from beneath his eyelids. But all Hermione could look at was the ring on her finger, and the torment of what she had just impulsively promised.

Over the next several days, Ron seemed to be functioning on pure happiness and glee as he went about the house, encouraging Hermione to be livelier, even managing to coax her to the dinner table. His hand was on her knee, and every other moment he was gazing into her face, smiling into her eyes as she hollowly stared out at those people she once called friends.

It was not that Harry and Ginny were not her friends, but the light of Hermione's soul had faded, and those which had given her life had lost their meaning. She had nothing left to go by, nothing left to fall back on, and these people which she ached to love again meant truly nothing because everything that she was had been killed.

One night, Mr. Weasley came late to dinner, and although this was often quite normal when coming from the Ministry, something was different. Molly Weasley was at the stove, bewitching the soup to stir itself and for the potatoes to smoothly mash. Everyone was around the table except for Tonks, who had retreated back to her mother's household, unable to bear the loss of her fiancé. The occupants of the table, including Hermione, chatted merrily as they waited for the dinner to finally be served. Mrs. Weasley had just planted the last dish on the table when the front door opened, and quiet footsteps approached the kitchen.

"Just in time, Arthur!" Mrs. Weasley said happily as she gestured to his seat. "Everything's still hot! What's wrong?" she asked quickly, noticing how troubled he looked.

"Well . . . Remus' will processed through today," Arthur Weasley answered quietly, clearly trying to keep this news quiet. However, the loving hand on Hermione's knee was suddenly a vice grip. Everyone looked around at each other uncertainly, and the silence seemed to scream at them.

"And?" Ginny blurted finally. "What was in it?"

"It's not something I want to discuss here," Arthur muttered, rubbing his forehead. "The contents are private matters."

Though the dinner's easy chatter was now speckled with suspicion and curiosity, it continued on wordlessly, though everyone seemed to be staring at Mr. Weasley as if his expression would give away the secret. When it did not, and when Mrs. Weasley snarled at the twins for quietly egging on their father to let the cat out of the bag, the matter of Remus Lupin's will was left alone.

A while later, when the belts on everyone's trousers were loosened to accommodate for all the food, they all began to file into the sitting room; Mr. Weasley approached Hermione and Ron slowly. Ron, who had had an arm around Hermione the whole night, tensed when his father neared them and murmured Hermione's name. The girl, who had been staring blankly across the room all the way through dinner, slowly looked at him, as if remembering that they were alive, that they existed and could talk.

"Hermione, I would like to talk to you for a moment, if I could," Mr. Weasley said in a low voice, casting an anxious glance towards the sitting room. "Alone."

"Why?" Ron demanded instantly, tightening a grip around Hermione.

"It has nothing to do with you, Ron," Mr. Weasley said calmly. "Hermione, may I?" he added, gesturing towards staircase with a clear indication that he did not want to be overheard.

Ron left, though reluctantly and not without grumbling a few angry words. Hermione followed Mr. Weasley silently up the stairs, her body suddenly coming to life with a nervous, hammering drumbeat as they entered the room of the late Remus Lupin.

The room was not very dusty or dingy, but it was definitely stale, as if no one had bothered to air it out in a while. The bed was relatively neat, robes spilling out from the closet and some stray shoes sticking out from under the bed. The armoire stood in the corner, tall and domineering, demanding attention. Hermione gazed at it, swallowing the lump in her throat, while Mr. Weasley approached that which was beginning to frightening her.

Opening the doors of the armoire, Mr. Weasley said, "Remus had only one thing to give away, only one thing written in his will. It was given to you, Hermione." He backed away, and from the dark, ominous figure of the armoire trickled an ethereal light that seemed to breathe life into Hermione's dead eyes.

"A pensieve?" she asked quietly, closing her eyes and basking in the silver light.

"Yes."

"Why wasn't it at the Ministry?" she whispered, stepping closer and opening her eyes to inspect it.

"Because it was not in his vault at the time of death, nor was it regarded as suspicious, dangerous, or necessary to have at the Ministry. It was also a personal belonging rather than a treasure . . ."

Mr. Weasley continued to explain other reasons, but Hermione was entranced by the swirling silver liquid within the basin, half hidden by the armoire's protective door. She stepped forward, clutching the door and swinging it open, peering down into the bowl's mysterious contents. Blinking a few times, it was a moment before she realized she was looking down at her own face, and that this pensieve contained memories of _her_.

For the first time in a few weeks, Hermione returned to her normal self, and said briskly, "Thank you, Mr. Weasley. I think I can handle this on my own."

With her back to Mr. Weasley, she could not see the sudden change in his expression, or the gradual realization that Hermione had snapped out of her delirium. A tiny smile crept onto his face, and then he turned and left without another word. The moment the door clicked shut, Hermione dove headfirst into the mystic basin, flinging all thoughts and worries aside, for it was within this precious pensieve that she could once more relive that which had given her meaning.

Within this basis, she could live again. She could breathe, she could see, she could feel and hold and touch. And she would see him again. And this terrible, devastating thing which was her reality would no longer matter, because she would have _him_.

_**-  
-x-x-x-  
-**_

**Author's Notes: **oh hey college, thanks for pushing the end of this story off for two months. Anyway, sorry guys! I know this took forever and it's _still_ not over, but guess what? Originally, this chapter was 21 pages, and I cut it down to ten so I could at least give you guys something. So, here's the first half of the end. . . .

**Please review!**


	31. Atonement

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. Just this plotline and some random OCs!

**Note:** THIS HAS TAKEN MANY YEARS TOO LONG TO FINISH! So here is the end of _Still So Close to You_, and I hope you enjoyed every moment of it as I did :)

**Still So Close to You  
by darkwing731  
**-  
((-Chapter Thirty Two-))  
Atonement

She was engulfed in icy blackness, gasping at the sudden cold, before everything was normal, before she was back where she belonged.

Opening her eyes, she found herself in the Hogwarts library, surrounded by books and a pleasant silence. Just as she began to suspect she was entirely alone, she heard giggling on the other side of the shelf; it was not feminine at all, but it held the sort of immaturity that Hermione always associated with Pavarti and Lavender. There was another giggle, and then a snort, and she realized instantly who was laughing: James and Sirius.

Hermione rushed to her old friends in a matter of seconds; sitting before her at the table were James and Sirius, sniggering over a dirty joke book, while Peter sat looking down at a piece of paper, trying to sneak a glance at the book every now and then. Hermione, who had been beaming fondly down at them, realized with a start that Remus was nowhere to be seen. As her heart began to sank, the werewolf emerged from behind another book shelf, his nose in the spine of a charms book.

"Come on, Mooney, have a look with us!" Sirius said as Remus sat down.

"I just want to finish this first. . . ." Remus muttered, pulling out a piece of paper and starting to scribble on a piece of parchment. He sat down with his friends, pulling out his wand and muttering a few spells.

"Whatcha got there, Mooney?" James asked innocently in a singsong voice; Remus, knowing better than to trust James, snatched up the paper before the Potter could get his hands on it.

"Prongs look! Look at this!" Sirius said suddenly, guffawing, and James was promptly distracted. Hermione inched closer to Remus, her heart hammering as she drew close to her former lover, and curious about what he was working on.

Just as his scrawl came into their view, there was a loud _crash_ very close to them, followed by a shriek, and all four of the boys became instantly still, as if a wary deer had heard a predator. Sirius was the first to move, while Remus, James, and Peter looked curiously down the aisle. Hermione rushed after Sirius and saw her former self, bleeding and delusion, pass out in Sirius' arms. Now in her twenties, Hermione gazed down on the young, innocent face that had not experienced the best—and worst—of life.

Sirius called for his friends over his shoulder, and Hermione moved just in time to avoid the fleet of boys that came running down the aisle. They all stared down at the unconscious girl silently, unsure of what to do.

"W-Who _is_ that?" Remus at finally, and Hermione stared up into his face, her heart swelling at the sound of his voice, full of concern and suppressed curiosity. His friends glanced at him, noticing the intensity of his eyes, and Remus blushed and looked away.

"Dunno. We'd better bring her to the Infirmary, though. Madam Pomfrey'll have our heads if we don't," James said, and they all murmured in agreement. When nobody moved, Remus bent down and picked up the unconscious girl, and Hermione, observing, watched as Remus desperately tried to keep his eyes off of this strange girl's face, but could not help himself . . .

Then, the world was swirling black again, icy cold and rushing around her as if she were in a wind tunnel. When everything came to a stop, seconds later, Hermione found herself standing in the Gryffindor common room, which was filled with students. She Muggleborn saw Lily and Emma being aided by a bushy haired girl while they wrote their essays, and as Hermione spun around, she saw Remus sitting at a table, staring openly at the girl who was helping Lily and Emma.

Just then, as Hermione began to piece together the memory, James, Sirius, and Peter came flooding from upstairs, looking giddy and as if they were about to burst with laughter.

"Moony," James whispered as they approached their friend.

"What?" Remus asked cautiously. He recognized the mischievous grins on their faces and knew whatever suggestion was to come would not be a smart one.

"We just got the greatest idea," Sirius gushed, bouncing with excitement. "Let's pull something on Jane. She's the new girl. Let's give her a scare."

"No!" Remus said at once, instantly regretting his words. Hermione watched as the werewolf flushed.

"Ooh, I see how it is, Moony," James teased. He cleared his throat loudly, and Remus knew that he had to get out of the common room; he had managed to shove everything into his bag as James began to sing, "_Remus and Jane, sittin' in a tree_!"

While James continued on, Remus escaped just in time; the bushy haired girl, Hermione from long ago, noticed what James was singing and also made a dash for the staircase to avoid the situation. Hermione followed the memory of herself as she ran up the stairs, and she and Remus Lupin bumped into each other, both clearly mortified. . .

Then, just as suddenly as the last, the world began to dissolve around her, and Hermione fell into inky nothingness with a noiseless gasp—then the black melted to give way to a blinding light, which Hermione realized was now a snowy world. Thankful that she could not feel the environment in the memory, Hermione smiled fondly as she watched the backs of Remus Lupin and herself walk down the road to Hogsmeade together, their bodies closer than they probably realized.

The memory changed again— Hermione was thrown into a classroom, one very dark and dank and full of cauldrons. Students peered around as Professor Hull screamed at them, and Hermione, searching quickly, found Remus glaring at Lucius Malfoy, for the pureblood's hand had inched onto the leg of Hermione Granger . . . .

A change—it was as if they had stayed in the same memory, but Hermione was instantly confronted with the form of Rose Sanders. She was walking across the room with her head held high before she sat down next to Remus. The werewolf flushed, and began to chat amiably with her, casting hopeful glances back across the room as if he wanted someone to see him . . .

It changed again— observing, Hermione saw herself and Remus Lupin walking slowly down a corridor, talking quietly. Then, Hermione bade him a goodbye and entered the Potions room, and Remus, after watching her leave, released an aggravated sigh and cupped his face in his hands. . .

Again— Remus was talking to Rose Sanders, trying to act casual and calm, as she asked him out on a date to Hogsmeade. After he accepted and threw the Slytherin a small grin, he went back to the Gryffindor table, hoping that his happy façade would catch the attention of a certain girl . . .

Again— Remus was walking down the snowy lane, hand in hand with the Slytherin he told himself he had no feelings for, but had taken comfort in the welcome distraction. This Slytherin was drastically different than a certain Gryffindor girl, bushy haired and stubborn, and nothing about Rose Sanders reminded him of Hermione Granger. . .

The change of scenery was much different this time, and Hermione, who had been overwhelmed with the quick pace and change of memories, was suddenly very alert. It was very dark this time, and the air was still, but moving forward she realized that she was at the Astronomy Tower. Just as she crept towards the starlight, the quiet night exploded with fireworks, and as she started with shock, she read the words _Happy Christmas!_ blaze through the night sky.

Suddenly Hermione knew what was going on, and her body began to flood with a joyous, giddy feeling that warmed her heart and her body, bringing back all the life that had been taken from her. Coming around the corner, Hermione smiled as she watched herself and Remus exchange small words, knowing what was about to come. When Remus withdrew the small box from within his jacket, both Hermione and her memory gasped at the simple beauty of his gift.

And then, and then . . . then they were one, suddenly, without warning, pressed up against each other in a union that they had both desperately wanted but had never confessed. To Hermione, this was worth every moment of suffering, every moment of torment and longer because it was here that revealed how perfect they were for each other, how much they could truly love. . . .

Much to Hermione's disappointment, the memory changed again; this time, she found herself in the boys' dormitory, where Remus was poring over the Marauder's Map, muttering, his fingers moving rapidly over the old parchment. Hermione noticed how pale Remus was, and how hard his hands were shaking as he searched for someone in particular. Then, Remus became stiff, his eyes racing back and forth—

"No!" Remus shouted suddenly, taking Hermione off guard. "_Mischief managed_!"

Remus was flying out of the room, and Hermione was alone for a few moments before she understood that she had to follow him; sprinting as fast as she could, she nearly collapsed from the stitch in her side. Remus was shoving people out of the way, running faster than she could've imagined, before—

"Remus, you maniac!" the memory of Hermione shouted as Remus snatched her up over his shoulder and began to run down the hallway.

"Quiet!" he hissed. He screeched to a stop and dropped her; she squeaked as she hit the floor, but started yelling again as he grabbed her hand and dragged her down the hallway.

"You have to _move_!" he shouted at her, his voice tight and frightened.

Then, they were sprinting again, and Hermione struggled to keep up with them as they fled to the Room of Requirement. Inside, Hermione cringed at their fight, and their painful epiphanies as they realized the damage Remus had caused by making a time charm. And then . . . and then . . .

"You just couldn't love me back, Remus, and I accepted that."

"Hermione… I was just scared to love you back… but I'm not. Not anymore."

He leaned forward and kissed her, and the fight that had been loud and rancorous just moments ago did not matter, for it dissolved with the sweet, tender kiss he had given her. Watching all of this, Hermione clutched at her heart and felt the swell of sadness and nostalgia rise up in her throat.

It changed again— this time, Hermione found herself standing in a dusty old house that seemed to be abandoned. She was confused for a moment before she heard a very guttural and familiar sound.

Whirling around, she saw the couple was heatedly kissing with their shirts undone and hair askew. They were engrossed in each other, interlocked in each other's hands and embrace. There was not a moment where either of them lay still; arching, caressing, gliding hands, the heat between them was fierce.

Pressed up against him, shuddering with pleasure, each time he shifted she did, each time he ran a hand down her back, or inched her fingers up her shirt, her movements were the same, causing them to appear as one. Their bodies moved in an undeniable rhythm, shifting up and to the side, down and forwards, until the movement was so perfect it seemed to be a movie on repeat. He cradled her in his arms, kissing her neck as she pulled him closer; fingers automatically running through his hair, grasping his neck to encourage the heat he was creating, and gliding her hands over his shoulders and chest, she angled her body to match his, like placing a puzzle piece with its partner.

Although she had partaken in this memory, even though she was watching herself, Hermione felt as if she was intruding on something very private, for this was a scene from something perfect and pure. Never before this memory had Hermione recognized something so natural and passionate, but she felt that everything outside of the memory, the pensieve, destroyed this. Her engagement to Ron slashed this memory, diseasing it and ruining its potential for happiness. The observer backed away, shutting her eyes to the perfection she once had, trying to hold back the tears that welled up in her eyes—

The scene changed— the Marauders were standing protectively around two girls, Lily and Hermione, as a regiment of Slytherins stared coldly at them. Pansy Parkinson was drawling something to Hermione, who looked terrified and guilty. Remus Lupin stood behind her, clutching her protectively, glaring daggers at the Slytherin who was predicting the terrible future of their relationship.

This message encased the words that destroyed the very essence of Hermione's heart, for it was an irrevocable and undeniable truth. It had shaped the foundations of her life and of her mind, touching the boundaries of her heart and testing her tolerance for tragedy, misery, and fate: that she could never truly be with Remus Lupin.

A change— Remus and Hermione were on his bed, clothes undone and bodies alight with fire and passion, desire and romance, as they touched and loved one another. Hermione, watching, cried out in protest as they made love for the first time. Before this very moment, Hermione thought there could be nothing worse than the death of Remus Lupin, but she was very wrong. Their untainted and enthusiastic, beautiful and faithful love was betrayed by her actions in reality.

Hermione, years ago, gave everything she had to Remus. Everything that completed her, everything that she loved and worshipped became part of him, just as he became her. They were meant for each other, perfectly and wholly. But she had ruined that, she had corrupted that by being with Ron, for settling for another human being, for pledging her love elsewhere, both in words and action.

It changed—the memory was one Hermione expected but had secretly hoped Remus had forgotten. The young couple was lying together on a roof in the dead of the night, admiring an iridescent, incomplete moon. Small talk and affections were exchanged, something that pained Hermione to watch even still. And then, he said it: those words which haunted her sleep.

"I love you, Hermione," Remus whispered in her ear. "I don't care how the future turns out, you will always be the only one I love."

How could Remus be reliving these things each and every day? These memories that tortured Hermione surely must have ripped the very fiber of Remus apart, making him utterly immobile and stony. And yet he had lived on after these memories, after she left, after _she_ moved on . . . he had even found another partner. . .

But no matter how much she wanted to pretend, Hermione knew that Tonks was just a façade to hide behind, an excuse for Remus to deny the past, to deny everything they had simply because their idyllic relationship stretched decades apart. It was uncommon, it was strange, and it was unconventional, yes, but could two people love so much as they did then? But she did not deserve these thoughts, she did not deserve these feelings. Remus was dead, he had died for her, and here she was betraying everything that had made her whole.

A change— Hermione stood, blinded, in the middle of a pitch black room. There was an eerie silence accompanied by a dank smell, must perhaps, and the feeling that eyes were watching her. Soon she became aware of a constant drip drop of water somewhere, which heightened her anxiety all the more. She struggled to remember what was going on, struggled to soothe her racing heart because this perpetual darkness frightened her. Just as she was about to moan in worry, she heard it: a groan.

Somewhere off to her left there were people stirring slowly and with difficulty, by the sounds of it. Then she heard Sirius' voice, and her heart jumped as Remus replied quietly. James croaked something back, and Lily's tender hush to his audible pains. Hermione heard her own voice, and they all quieted as the ominous shouted echoed from up above.

And then Hermione realized what was going on. These were her very last moments with her friends, with the people she loved more than her own life. A gasped escaped her lips before the inevitable commotion started; the angry shouts spilled down into the Malfoy dungeon, and the Marauder's began screaming in protest as Hermione was dragged from their clutches.

At first she went motionless, but then the fierce woman that Hermione used to be fought back against the clutches of the Death Eater, flinging herself unceremoniously down the stairs just to have a moment longer with them, to tell them each that she loved them dearly, that nothing would be the same.

Watching this was the only thing Hermione could do, as she was gripped with an icy horror that did not cease even as she cried. Tears streamed down her face, but they were no match against Remus' violent, terrified protests at losing his lover, his soul mate, his everything.

And then "_Remus_!" was the last sound to reverberate within them, followed by the slam of the door. Darkness flooded the room once again, and the only sound that could be heard was the shallow, erratic breathing of Remus Lupin, which quickly fell into a panicked moan. His voice cracked, and a gasp escaped him, and all in the same terrible moment Remus was sobbing, screaming in fury, in misery, as his friends hurried to hold him, to whisper words of comfort.

But she was gone. There was no peace left to be had. There was nothing left for him anymore.

It changed— Hermione had clamped her eyes shut and boxed her ears, trying desperately not to relive the next heartbreak Remus had in store for her. But no, she didn't deserve to escape the pain, she didn't deserve relief from her betrayal. Opening her tear stained eyes, she was surprised to see that her younger self was not in this memory.

Instead, she was in a room that she recognized as Remus' bedroom. At first it seemed as if the room was empty, but then she noticed that someone was standing in front of the open closet, and was very, very still. Hermione inched closer, feeling very nervous, before a voice caused her to jump.

"Remus!"

The person standing in front of the closet slowly looked over his shoulder, and Hermione was met with the worn, miserable sight of Remus Lupin, who was clutching something in his hands. Looking closer, Hermione realized it was one her robes.

Just then, the door opened, and Lily entered, looking worried. "Remus, we're going to be late."

"This was hers," Remus croaked, holding out the robe in his fisted hand. His knuckles were white, and his whole body had begun to shake.

Lily's face twisted into that of a concerned mother, and she went to him at once; as soon as Lily had embraced him, Remus began to openly weep, and Hermione felt the blood drained from her face, her body, her heart. Something within her shattered, and she stumbled backwards until she fell onto the bed.

Footsteps pounded up the hallway, and James and Sirius crept cautiously through the door. "Remus?" James asked quietly, tenderly, as he and Sirius came in. The werewolf did not acknowledge them, but clung tighter to Lily who was trying her best to console him.

"It's not for forever, Remus," Sirius said quietly. "She said twenty years, didn't she?"

"That's not the point!" choked Remus, breaking away from Lily and angrily wiping his face. "I-I have to go years and years seeing her, without her remembering me! And she'll be eighteen and I'll be what, forty? _Don't you understand_?"

"The age doesn't matter, because you love—" James started.

"Shut up," Remus hissed. "People can't stand werewolves, what's going to make them accept a relationship like ours? If there ever is one!"

"Remus," Lily said softly; "She's not likely to forget you."

"How do you know?" Remus croaked, tearing up again. "This was all just a bad dream. We all knew she had to leave, how could I get myself into this when I knew this was how it was going to end?"

"You can't think like that," Sirius said firmly. "Don't regret—"

"I can't be with her again, I know that," Remus muttered bitterly. "Imagine, just imagine for a moment, what it would be like for me. For her, for _us_."

"But you love her," Lily said quietly.

"Yes," Remus agreed. "Which is why I can't be with her. I won't. I can't put her through this mess again."

"That's not fair!" James cried. "You're not letting her decide! You're not giving her a chance! She'll be there, one day, in love and overjoyed to see you and you're just going to turn her away?"

"I'll just ruin everything," Remus snapped. "I'll be old and done, and I'm a werewolf, I certainly can't go into the workforce with that on my record. She'll be miserable with me, our life would be ruined. And imagine if we had children…"

"Stop it," Lily snarled. "How dare you just—just go and destroy this relationship without giving her a chance."

"We already had our chance," Remus growled, his face screwed up against the wave of new tears. "We can't happen again."

The scene which had held Hermione prisoner to its intensity suddenly dissolved around her—now she found herself back at Hogwarts. Remus Lupin was sitting in Dumbledore's office, looking pleased while Dumbledore ruffled through some papers.

"Now, Remus, I am more than overjoyed on your decision to join the staff this year," Dumbledore said with a smile. "Professor Lockhart. . . well, you know how that goes."

"And thank you for having me," Remus returned graciously.

"There is something you should know, however," Dumbledore said, his voice colored with dark tones; Remus was no longer at ease, but appeared quite stiff now. "There is a certain girl here. She is just thirteen, but certainly one of the best pupils in the school. She is very bright, very eager to learn, and still very naïve. I'm sure you have recognized—"

"Yes," Remus interrupted. "I realize she doesn't know. I realize she is just thirteen. I realize there can be nothing between us as student and teacher. I would never compromise the integrity of any student or this school, Albus. You know this is my home as well, I do not wish to tarnish its reputation."

"I have complete faith in your words," Dumbledore agreed. "But there is something else. She is quite close to James' son. In fact, she and Harry and Arthur Weasley's son are inseparable." Remus said nothing, but there was a distinct tautness in his jaw. "I suspect the Order of the Phoenix will soon rise again, as Voldemort's power becomes stronger once again. And Harry—"

"Will grow up to be as determined as James," Remus finished quietly. "Meaning he'll be very active, very involved, even where he shouldn't be. Which means . . ."

"Hermione will be as well," Dumbledore said quietly; the old man was staring at Lupin, his face gazing sympathetically and worriedly at the werewolf who was staring at his lap. "I suspect, for many years to come, you will be around her. I would understand if you wanted to step down from teaching, just so you—"

"No," Remus cut across quickly. "I've gone more than ten years without her. She's just a child now, nothing can sprout with that image in mind. I'll be alright."

"And in the future, when she is no longer a child?" Dumbledore inquired quietly.

"She will have created a life by then, one that does not include me. I've gotten on without her these last few years, I can survive the rest."

"Are you sure?" This question seemed to be the only real thing Dumbledore has asked that night, for suddenly Remus looked torn and confused, upset and red-faced with the suppression of his emotions.

"Yes," he uttered, before closing his eyes and releasing a jagged sigh.

Another change—Remus, or rather, Professor Lupin, was striding about his classroom arranging things that did not need to be fixed. Hermione was under the impression that he was very anxious about something. A moment later, the door opened, and she knew why he was fidgeting so much—Ron, Harry, and Hermione, all thirteen, were among the flood of students that entered the classroom. Professor Lupin beamed at them all, trying hard to calm his beating heart, trying hard not to look at the adolescent and innocent form of Hermione Granger, just thirteen but as wonderful as he remembered.

But there was no avoiding it; every question he presented to the class, Hermione's hand shot in the air, and not only was he forced to look at her, he was drawn to her, her intelligence, and her sincere desire to learn. When the class finally left, Professor Lupin dropped into his chair and cupped his face in his hands with a groan.

It changed— this time, Professor Lupin happened to be walking through the flood of students in the main corridor when Harry, Ron and Hermione went by. Ron and Hermione were snapping at each other, but the pain on Hermione's face was clear. Something within Remus ached for her, wanting nothing more than to take her into his arms to calm her . . .

It changed— it was Christmastime at the Burrow, and all members of the Order were celebrating Christmas Eve. There was food and drink all around; Harry was talking to Mrs. Weasley while Fred and George bothered Ginny, and Mr. Weasley was discussing the werewolf laws with Lupin.

Looking around the room, Hermione recognized herself and Ron sitting on the sofa, talking. She remembered this instantly, for it had happened the Christmas of her sixth year. Not bothering to go over because she remembered Ron was openly defaming Viktor Krum, she made her way to Remus, who was quite distracted in his conversation with Mr. Weasley. Although the topic was very interesting, the werewolf was clearly watching the young couple, and Remus' face tensed as Ron and Hermione exchanged a long, significant look before turning away from each other, blushing.

Everything changed again— back at Hogwarts, Remus Lupin was clearly the professor again, and Hermione's heart jolted with fear as the memory invaded her mind. Lupin was grading papers silently, every now and then dipping his quill in ink. There was a knock on his door, and he stood and opened it.

Hermione, a student still in her seventh year, stood there, looking pale but jittery, clearly bothered by something. "Hermione!" Lupin said pleasantly, warmed at the sight of her. Having been around her for so many years now, it had become easier and easier for him to pretend, to separate his life into two parts: a life in which Hermione was his lover and a life in which she was nothing, just a student and insignificant to his life.

The girl entered, and started to speak rapidly, her eyes alight with warmth and relief. But the words fell on deaf ears, because Remus suddenly realized what season of year it was, what month, and just how many years had passed since he had last kissed her. . .

Lies started spouting out of his mouth, complex lies, well rehearsed lies, lies that would help her move on later in life. Lies that would ease the pain, lies that would make it easier for the both of them, lies that would make all these years worth it. Lies that he wanted to take back and forget about, because all these years, all these years being hardened against the memory of her simply shattered at the sight of her, devastated by his words but alight with passion nonetheless. He wanted nothing more than to stop talking, to seize her in his arms and kiss her. . . but he couldn't.

As Hermione proceeded to fall into an irreversible hysteria, the desire to hold her became stronger and stronger, and Remus was beginning to lose control of himself. He needed some way, any way, to get away from her or else he would grab her— "Sit. I will go fetch you some Calming Draught, I fortunately have some in my office."

Words that had fallen off his lips meant nothing, had no meaning, and only propelled him to fly into his office. With shaking hands and a hammering heart he pulled out parchment and a quill, scribbling: _Albus, Hermione's memory has come back to her— under no circumstances should she be sent back to redeliver your letter. Please. If she catches the slightest hint of a lie, everything we've worked for, I've worked for, will be demolished. Remus. _The message was hastily hooked onto the claws of an owl perched in his office before the bird took off into the sunset.

Knowing that he couldn't hide out in his office forever, Remus attempted to collect himself before going back out to her; the moment she was in his vision, his heart skipped a beat, and he had to bite his tongue to stop from crying out to her. Lies and misgivings etched his voice and he prayed for her to scrutinize him, to see how badly he needed her now that she remembered him—but half of him prayed that she didn't. If she bought this, if she took his cruel lies for truth, then this would be the worst experience of his life, but it would be one that he had endured. It would make him stronger.

What he did not expect, however, was the well crafted argument that was thrown against his weakened heart, and it took every fiber of his being to resist holding her, comforting her, loving her again. He was sure that if he took her into his arms, this horrible mess would be forgotten instantaneously, and they could be happy together—

"I can be your mentor, and your friend, but I can _only_ be those things."

But she fought back. Again and again she fought back against him, and with each of her vicious, accurate words he was diminished into nothing, empty space with no conviction, a heartless shell because everything within him was dissipating with the lies he weakly supplied to her.

And then she ran, away from him and his lies, leaving Remus to all but collapse in misery.

It changed— students were now filing out of the classroom that had just been occupied by a distressed professor. Remus Lupin had his back to the door of the classroom and was organizing something before he turned around at the sound of a cough.

Hermione was standing there; and Remus felt the blood drain from his face. It had taken him a week to fully get over the incident with Hermione's return to her proper time, and he feared that another blow to his poorly protected heart might ruin everything.

This time, Hermione was not furious, but appeared very to be forcedly calm and cool. Of course he had watched her over the last few weeks, of course he had seen the way she became drastically introverted, often not speaking for large spaces of time. Of course he knew what he was doing to her.

The collected Muggle-born offered him an apology that should have put him at ease, but made him all the more nervous and on edge. Their words were well rehearsed and controlled, and with a few moments time she began to relax a little, releasing her obviously contained emotions. She talked of Sirius, of James and Lily, of their friendship and love and how terribly she missed it—her recollecting made Remus ache for the past, not just for his lover but for his friends as well.

And then—then he was close to her, somehow, impossibly, he was touching her. It was an action he promised himself he would never do under any circumstances. But here he was with a hand on her shoulder, reveling in the warmth of her body, the small gap between them, and her sweet smell that encased him completely.

Then—then… she kissed him. It was glorious, it was wonderful, it was invigorating; the dam within him of quelled memories suddenly burst, demolished and happily destroyed as everything rushed into him, all at once, and he forgot the thing he had been repeating for years: _we cannot be together_.

Just as suddenly, his well rehearsed line seemed to pierce him, and his body rejected everything without warning, even the gentle and perfect lips that were on his. And he spoke the words he wished would disappear from reality, from the dictionary, from every nook and cranny of his twisted mind he wanted to get rid of: "You have to leave."

And when she was gone, and when he was safe, alone, Remus Lupin simply cried.

A change—

The flickering firelight threw the faces of Ron, Harry, and Remus into sharp relief. They were in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, and it was clearly very, very late. Ron was pacing around the room while Harry sat at the table, Remus adjacent to him.

"It's just that I can never find a good time," Ron was saying, anxiously running a hand through his hair. "There are always people. And there's always something going on. And she's always so _busy_."

"That's Hermione," Harry said with a shrug. "Look, you just have to do it. You can't keep that ring in your pocket forever."

"I know, but—"

"It doesn't have to be perfect, Ron, you know Hermione's not that kind of girl," Harry reminded his friend. Ron looked concerned at this thought now, because Hermione was apparently not that kind of girl.

"What kind of girl is she? How do I propose to a kind of girl?" Ron spluttered, now tangled in the worry and nervousness of this idea.

"Stop worrying so much," Harry said as he stifled a laugh; "She's going to say yes regardless."

"How do you know?" Ron asked sharply, appearing very angry for a moment, before withering back to pure anxiety. "I can think of a million reasons why she'd say no—"

"There will be a million more if you keep putting it off," Remus offered quietly. The words from the venerable werewolf stopped Ron in his tracks, and he looked at Remus both hopefully and fretfully.

"But—"

"Do you love her, Ron?" Remus asked, his eyes locked on the blue ones of Ron. Inside, the werewolf was chanting _no no no no_ but he knew Ron's answer was yes. It had always been yes. "And does she love you?"

"Yes," Harry answered for Ron as the Weasley gaped, unable to grasp anything. "They have for years. Ron, just ask the damn girl to marry you."

"You don't know what this pressure is like, Harry!" Ron exclaimed wildly, bulging.

"Considering Ginny and I—"

"Oh, shut up," Ron snapped flatly.

"You have nothing to lose, Ron," Remus reminded the red haired boy. Ron seemed to deflate in relief at this, but Remus seemed to wither away right in his seat, finally releasing the words he had kept hidden for years. They were words that would ruin his hidden desires, words that had been haunting him forever, words that would make Hermione happy again.

But no matter how wounded he was by each of his own syllables, he pressed on. "You have been in love for years. She has loved you even longer than that. Just _ask_ her."

Ron grudgingly nodded, and a weak smile crawled onto his face before he released another nervous sigh. "Ugh, but _when_? Bloody hell…"

A change— Hermione spun around and tried to pinpoint exactly where she was, but she was unfamiliar with her surroundings. She was in a sitting room, certainly, but she happened to notice it was very clean . . . or rather, there was not much in it at all. All the furniture was pushed right up against the wall, and anything that would have adorned the floor was absent. Looking around, she also noticed that everything was mismatched and full of color, although they were not well coordinated. The couch was yellow, but the wallpaper green, and the stool purple, while the table was red . . .

Just as she was beginning to piece together the clues, she heard shouting from the next room. It was an angry voice, sharp and accusing, and Hermione recognized it instantly to be Tonks. There was only a moment's hesitation before Hermione dashed over the door and stepped through, stopping shortly as she caught sight of Remus Lupin sitting dejectedly in a chair and Tonks glaring at him.

"I've been around long enough. It's becoming more and more obvious that you have—"

"There's nothing going on between us," Remus said quietly, colorlessly, as he stared at the table.

"I know when you're lying!" Tonks cried, her face twisting up in pain. She looked as if she were on the verge of tears, baring keeping her composure. "And—And I know you're lying! My mother told me about when you were in school—" Remus looked sharply and suddenly at Tonks, his face etched with alarm; Tonks took this as an indication that she had discovered him.

"I didn't go to school with your mother," Remus murmured, slowly looking back down at the table.

"She was much younger than you. And she remembers all the escapades you had! She said she remembered some girl messing around with Lucius Malfoy and somehow . . . you were involved," Tonks said, her voice trembling slightly. Remus simply closed his eyes and released a weary sigh, and Hermione had the impression that these fights often happened, and he had been used to giving in. This fight was no different.

"This is so foolish," Remus said quietly again. "None of that happened."

"Yes it did," Tonks shot back at once, although weakly.

"No, it didn't," Remus reiterated, a little more forcefully.

"Yes!" Tonks cried, her body giving into the emotions she was struggling overcome.

"Stop this!" Remus growled, clenching his jaw and glaring at her. "You don't know what you're—"

"_What is this, then_?" Tonks shouted, finally allowing the tears to escape her as she thrust something into Remus' hands. The werewolf, which had been progressively getting angrier, became quite still. His face grew white as he stared down at the thing in his hand. Hermione went hastily to him, and stopped short at the sight of the picture.

It was something she knew well. It was a memory she hated reliving. But it was proof that she and Remus had been real, had been together, and had been perfect. There, in his hands, was the picture of Lucius Malfoy and Hermione Granger kissing heatedly. To both Remus and Hermione, this picture was loathsome and terrible, for they knew the true circumstances of the photo. Tonks did not, but it was still proof that Hermione Granger had existed.

"Well?" Tonks asked forcefully, wincing at the sharp demand in her voice. Remus said nothing, but put the picture on the table, face down. Without a word, he stood slowly, looking thin and raggedly, and began to leave the room.

"Just admit you still love her!" Tonks cried, her lip trembling.

Remus hesitated, before whispering, "I'm _sorry._" He stood for a moment, a heavy statue representing everything that he had become, or rather, everything that he had lost.

And then, he left. Tonks stared at the door as it closed, her eyes glassy, her chest heaving. There was a certain emptiness about the room, a certain heavy silence that pressed down on the memory. Although Remus had just left, Tonks seemed utterly alone. And it was a feeling that seemed to crawl under Hermione's skin and hiss a warning to her, that this was her future: _loneliness._

Hermione barely had time to worry before the world changed around her, suddenly and almost thankfully. It was if this grief, this sadness that wrenched through Tonks' heart was because of Hermione's mere existence.

But it was a thought pondered no longer, because suddenly there was a collage of terror invading her senses; fire swarmed through her vision, forcing her to stumble backwards; a loud, shrieking sound echoed through the night, drawing her attention away from the screams that were rising up through the flames.

Shielding herself and soothing herself with the knowledge that the fire couldn't hurt her, she dashed through the hellish flames towards the sound of the screaming. As she stepped into the night, she tripped through the massive hole that had been gouged into the earth. She cried out in fear as she saw herself, Ron and Harry scrambling to get off the ground and flee from the regiment of Death Eaters that began to surround them.

In turn, the three of them desperately fought off the Death Eaters that were attacking them, each falling to the wielding of a curse, falling into the flames. Harry somehow outlasted his two friends, but his consciousness was futile, as his attempts to defend himself and his friends not only attracted more attention from the Death Eaters, but crushed any hopes to escape.

As soon as Harry fell victim to the final curse of the Death Eaters, there was a sudden bright light that erupted from the back of the alleyway, where the fire had not evaded the night. Hermione ripped her eyes from the horrifying scene before her to stare dumbly at the ethereal light before it soared over the Death Eaters. After a moment, the silver thing that was flying over them seemed to form into a definite shape, and Hermione realized that it was a Patronus. And that it could only belong to one person, because no one else that knew would care so much, would risk their lives just to make sure, to be safe.

Remus Lupin was here somewhere.

This sudden light caused a sudden uproar among the Death Eaters; it was quickly known that the Order of the Phoenix was approaching the scene, that there was hardly enough time to confiscate the bodies that the Dark Lord desired before—

"_Now_!" There was a sudden burst of sound, of light, and the powerful and ominous throng that was the Death Eaters was broken; the members of the Order had arrived, and soon, powerful jets of light followed by bellows of rage soared through the night.

Watching all of this, Hermione was only dumbfounded at their immediate arrival on the scene; perhaps Remus was not the only one that had been waiting, had been watching. But she knew, deep down in the bottom of her soul, that Remus had followed them there to protect her.

Almost as if hearing her thoughts, Remus Lupin appeared as a sharp silhouette, a solid mass against the ever changing flames. Taking advantage of the commotion, he went to the unconscious body of Hermione Granger, splayed across the ground with blood and dirt on her face. Tenderly, he pulled her into his arms, and staring at this, Hermione noticed he was trembling with fear, and that his face was wet with tears. Brushing the hair from the blood on her cheek, he touched her face with the gentlest of movements, a lover's true touch. His face was thrown in sharp relief as the ground exploded next to them, fire surging around them in the night. But nothing could take him away from her now, nothing would tear his hands from her.

For the past twenty years, he had gone without holding her, and now, this was his only chance. For the past twenty years, he had been incomplete, half of what he could be, alone and broken, and now, in the midst of war, he knew holding her would make sense. He knew he could die holding her, as long as he was with her. Because there was nothing else but her to live for. Slowly, meaningfully, he kissed her forehead before he pulled back and gazed longingly, sadly, into her unconscious face.

If there were not curses and spells flying around them, if they were not surrounded by flames and the shrapnel of war, Hermione could spend forever in this moment, for it proved all of her tears worthy. All of those years living an uncertain reality was made definite, was made true, just by the touch of his hand, the brief touch of his lips on her skin.

There was a constricting feeling in her chest that wouldn't allow her to focus on anything else; she was aware only of this heavy feeling that pressed down on her, that enclosed her from all sides, that strangled her breathing. Tears slipped from her eyes as she gasped, trying to catch her breath, trying to understand what was happening to her.

But she did not have to think; she knew. She knew that everything she had seen in his pensieve, everything she had experienced that was not hers to experience, was the same thing that brought tears to her eyes, that brought a smile to her face. These memories, these events, these things that Remus tortured himself with everyday was what made him tick, was what made him alive. Because if he could not have her in real life, he could not survive at all, then this was how he must survive.

Even though he had had years to strengthen himself, even though he had years to mend his broken heart, it was these memories that mattered most to him. These memories were something he could sink into, watching longingly, even if he could never reach out and touch the girl that he truly loved. Just to be near her, to revel in something that was real and true was enough. Was enough for him to breathe, was enough for him to wake up in the morning, to simply _stay alive_.

But Hermione had betrayed this. They were the same, they were one, they were everything, and she betrayed him; betrayed his love and his loyalty, his faith, even in the denial of their relationship. It did not matter that he denied her before, had lied about their previous love, because she understood now that he had no other option. Who would believe their bizarre story? Who would allow them to be together, unhindered and unbothered? How could they lead a life peaceful and wonderful?

But was wasting away better than loving one another against the masses? Was it worth it to deny their love for convenience when being apart was slowly killing them?

No matter how hard he tried, he could not go on without her. With the knowledge that they could be together but they were not, Remus Lupin simply withered away. He wanted the best for Hermione: he wanted her to be happy, to be successful, to have everything she wanted. But under what circumstance could he possibly accept that he was the answer to all of her needs?

She didn't push him, she didn't demand it out of him. Only a moment's worth of tears before she had given up, had pushed everything aside and had moved on with her life. She had let their strained relationship exist with the suppressed knowledge that what they had was real, what they had was still there, aching to emerge once more, but had denied the chance. Because Ron was a distraction, a lovely and easy distraction.

And because Remus lived and breathed and moved while she was still with Ron, she felt that there was no need to push. If he had cared enough, he would have begged her, pleaded, and only after a moment she would have given in to him, would have thrown herself into his arms.

But he had not begged her, or pleaded her; instead he hid behind the façade of Tonks, trying to resurrect those feelings for Hermione in another woman. But just as foolish as it was apparent, his plan failed, and he was trapped within the mistakes that he had made while he watched Hermione flourish on. Trapped while he watched her, convinced that her life was filled with utter happiness without him.

And was it?

The world dissolved around Hermione, giving way to the bleak reality that she was truly living in. But she did not notice, for she was weeping weakly. Weeping for that which she had given up, for that which she had denied. If only she had tried harder, had pushed Remus into giving into her, then perhaps he would be alive right now, holding her as she wept . . .

But he was not. And it was her fault.

After a moment, a day, or an eternity, Hermione became aware that she was sobbing weakly on the floor in Remus' room. In here he had caged himself, in here had had tortured himself, in here he had lived a hell in which he could not escape. She did the only thing that made sense; feebly, sniffing, Hermione crawled into Remus' bed, basking in the smell of him, trying to pretend that he was there beside her, holding her, telling her it was alright, it didn't matter, everything was beautiful and perfect again.

But she could not pretend any longer. Forcing herself to stay awake, to be acutely aware of her pain and her loss, Hermione poured over the memories she had just relived, trying to make sense of the only thing that inhabited her mind.

All night, she lied awake in his bed, hoping and praying that the moment would come where he would crawl into bed next to her. There was not a single moment that her mind remained free of Remus' memories; every second of the night was filled with thoughts of Remus, of the memories that haunted her, both consciousness and troubled sleep. And she felt that she was becoming the empty shell that he had become, because she had experienced this terrible loss, this crash course in tragedy, and Remus was without her at the end.

She had nothing left to live for.

Hermione could no longer think. She could no longer eat, no longer sleep, no longer survive. There was a single thought that possessed her mind at any given point, a thought that she struggled with and mourned over: _he died for me, and I have done nothing for him_.

There was nothing she _could_ do that was worthy atonement. Of course her wedding could not happen, of course Ron would have to be disregarded. But what then? Still, Hermione was consumed by the thought of what she could to make up for her grave sin, her fatal mistake. She noticed nothing else but the thought of redemption, not even the way her skin sagged at her eyes, or the chilling sight of her wrists that had been reduced to skin clinging to bone.

All night she thought, pondered, dissected, and scrutinize. And all night, there was only one thing that could occupy her mind, a thought that heightened the most wonderful moments of her life; a thought that bombarded her with the most terrible of past events.

And it was Remus Lupin. Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin, Remus Remus Remus_remusremusremus…_

Curled as tightly as possibly, as if to deny her existence, as if to render herself null and void, Hermione cradled herself, squeezing her limbs together to expel any extra room that would invite misery in, that would beckon this grief and tragedy that was eating away at her moment by moment.

_I would give anything to have you back_, Hermione thought to herself, acutely aware of her weak whimpering. _I would give anything to fix my mistakes_.

"Then come with me," said a voice.

Was she dreaming? Was this a hallucination, a lovely delirium, or was it a nightmare, some manifestation come back to torment her?

Slowly, Hermione uncurled herself from her infantile position and sat up in bed, her muscles screaming in protest. But she could pay them no attention, for there, in the room, the impossible was happening. Beautiful, perfect, terrible, impossible, _wonderful_; but how?

"Come with me," Remus repeated to Hermione, beaming into her face.

It seemed as if God himself had graced her with his presence. Hermione, whose mere existence was heavy and dull, bleak and worthless, paled even more in comparison. His presence lit up the room, a beacon that broke the endlessness that was her life. His face was not lined with age or weariness, but was clean and smooth, fresh, glowing. His skin was the only light she could see, his eyes the only light that could penetrate the darkness she had sunken into.

"Remus?" Hermione whispered, eyes round with brimming tears.

_This isn't real_

_He's back_

_Not_

_Back_

_Real_

_I love you_

"Come on," Remus urged again, smiling; he held out his hand, his movement slow but fluid, and something unlike anything she had ever seen. The room that encaged them, that had been dreary and small and a mournful reminder of what was dead and gone, seemed to dissolve away before her eyes as she stared at him, captivated. There were no more walls. There was no ceiling, no door, no bed, nothing; the only thing that was real, that was alive, was Remus.

Hermione simply stared at him; he was beautiful. Remus Lupin was no longer marked by gray hair and healed scars, nor shabby clothes or dark circles beneath his eyes. His skin gleamed, rich and warm and inviting, and his eyes were like the first ray of dawn, banishing all the darkness on the earth. He stood before her, full of life, beaming with all the emotion she once had, with everything she had lost, with everything she had been praying to recover.

He was here. A lighthouse in a terrible storm. Tall and thin, simple and plain and lovely, and all that she could ask for.

Hermione carefully reached out and warily took his hand; there was such a rush, such a flood of emotion that she began to cry harder, out of joy and disbelief. The sheer capacity that was overwhelming her was tremendous but like liquid gold, a feeling to be had of utter perfection, the quintessential substance.

"I love you," Hermione murmured, trembling as she stood. Her legs shook beneath her, both from neglect and shock, and she struggled to remain on her feet. But touching him, holding the lively and perfect thing that was Remus Lupin's hand, kept her up, kept her strong and determined and powerful. She clutched onto his fingers tighter, gasping at the energy that flowed into her, reveling in this newfound life that was suddenly granted upon her.

Remus, handsome and young and perfect, gazed down into her brown eyes, grinning.

"And I love you. I've told you once before, Hermione," Remus reminded her, smiling. "I don't care how the future turns out, you will always be the only one I love."

"Say it again," Hermione urged him fiercely, suddenly, without warning, holding onto his lovely hands as if they were a lifesaver, for she had been shipwrecked and had finally been saved.

"_I love you_," Remus reiterated quietly, but passionately, staring into her eyes.

Hermione gazed hungrily into his endless eyes, losing everything she had ever believed in except for him. For weeks on end, there was nothing but bleak desolation, hopelessness, emptiness; there was a constant, stinging hole that she was acutely aware of, that she welcomed as it ate away at the very fiber of her being. At first it was terrifying, but as time went on, and she could no longer pretend Remus was alright, she invited the deathly and terrible pain as a means of distraction.

But Remus was here now, protecting her, healing her, loving her. And that horrible, perpetual hole was gone; the void was filled, overflowing, in only moments, comprised of loveliness and perfection. And her desperate and lonely past did not matter; _nothing_ mattered anymore.

"Now, come on!" Remus said again, tugging on her hands. "They're waiting for us!"

"Who?" Hermione asked curiously, lacing her fingers with his and stepping closer, basking in the wonderful heat of his body, the wonderful smell. A jagged breath escaped her lips as his godly presence soothed her, crawled into the gaping wound that was her broken heart.

"James and Lily and Sirius!" Remus laughed, looking at her as if she had lost her mind. "They've been waiting all along!"

"But . . . they're _dead_," Hermione said, the loveliness coming to an abrupt stop. A terrible sickening feeling rising up in her stomach, a churning bile that could not be ignored.

"What are you talking about?" Remus asked, his smile fading slightly in confusion.

"And _you're_ dead," Hermione said with a horrible conviction; she clamped her eyes shut and began muttering to herself, trying to shut up the perfection that was Remus Lupin.

"Open your eyes!" Remus instructed, amusement clearly present in his voice. However much she wanted to anchor herself in the reality, she did as she was told, feeling that disobeying him was a crime she could never make.

Around her were cavernous walls, students bustling to and fro as food began to disappear from the House tables. The pleasant echo of voices drew her attention to the throng of Gryffindors that were exiting the Great Hall to the Quidditch pitch. The bewitched ceiling revealed a perpetual blue sky, freckled with clouds, and the banners hung from the ceiling that indicated that Ravenclaw had won the House Cup this year.

And there, in the midst of it all, stood she and Remus, holding hands and looking quite foolish as the Great Hall emptied. Hermione gaped as she blinked, first dumbly and then furiously, as if attempting to wake herself.

"This. . . this isn't _real_," Hermione uttered, releasing his hands and taking in Remus, and his school clothes, and her Gryffindor tie and cloak. "This . . . what _is_ this?"

"Hermione," Remus repeated, this time with a more serious tone. "Are you alright?"

Was she alright?

_Was _she alright?

Around her were not thin, miserable walls that encased an equally miserable girl, but the stone walls of Hogwarts that had held her just as closely as Remus himself. Around her were not the memories of mistakes, of lost love, of broken hearts or the irrevocable death of Remus Lupin, but an endless world of possibilities that did not judge or limit her.

But was it real?

Was this a hallucination, another dream as wonderful as the seven months she had spent with Remus before?

Did she care?

She had Remus. She had Lily and James and Sirius. She had Hogwarts, and her studies, and a youth that could be spent with the person she truly loved.

She had everything she had been asking for, had been praying for; it did not matter that this was a matter of life and death, for everything had been reversed. Every moment she drew a breath she wished she had not, for it was a breath that Remus Lupin could never have in his death.

But now, standing before the man she would have died for if he had simply asked her, she drew a breath that he could share, for they were finally together again. They were finally one.

Her mistakes had been forgiven, her past had been erased, and her future was spotless and promising, full of nothing but love and perfection, of happiness and satisfaction.

"I'm sorry," Hermione whispered, an amazed smile breaking onto her face. "I must've dozed or something."

"It's alright," Remus chortled, leaning in to kiss her forehead; she breathed deeply and felt energized, young, infallible. "Now, come on!"

Taking her hand, Remus pulled her towards the exit of the Great Hall. There, before her, was a light so powerful and warm that she could do nothing but move towards it. It was colossal and seemed to pull her in from her very core as if it were a portkey, or a black hole, a portal, that led to paradise. The only thing that was keeping her grounded, that was keeping her from sprinting into this perfection, was the piece of happiness that she was holding onto. And it was something she would never let go of for the rest of eternity.

Together, with laced hands and untouchable smiles, Remus Lupin and Hermione Granger exited the Great Hall, disappearing into the light that beckoned them.

They were complete, they were happy, and they were in love.

And she couldn't have asked for anything more.

_**-x- FIN -x-**_

**Author's Note:** UM SO YEAH. If you're unclear about what happened, Hermione died. In her sleep, of a broken heart. But this is what I tried to do to make up for killing Remus. In the end, they got to be together. Kind of? And I intentionally am leaving the other character's out of her death, and will not elaborate on their reactions, because I think they're sort of predictable and it's not something I think I need to explain.

Anyway, a huge thank you for all those readers that have stuck around to the end of this story. I've only finished on other story before, and it is no longer posted because someone filed a complaint or some shit and it was taken down. But this is a huge source of pride.

**So thank you. Thank you everyone.**

**It was nice writing for you =)**

**Sincerely, Minnie.**


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